csoip - Down The Rabbit Hole
Down The Rabbit Hole

poetry archive and a main for other tendencies. too sentimental to give it up but the day tumblr lets me switch primaries i will rejoicemostly @crossbackpoke-check here

211 posts

A List Of Untranslatable Words

a list of untranslatable words

schädenfreude iktsuarpok sillage tacenda mono no aware dépit koev halev hi fun kou gai lebensmüde mutterseelenallein natsukashii saudade tante toska weltschmerz xinteng viraag wintercearig zhaghzhagh yuputka luftmensch gumusservi glas wen boketto kummerspeck fernweh komorebi pochemuchka backpfeifegesicht aware waldeinsamkeit gattara mamihlapinatapei won wabi-sabi litost ilunga cafuné torschlusspanik hyggelig l'appel du vide ya'aburnee duende gezelligheid hiraeth lykke setsu nai tan-te forelsket kilig commuovere mokita dépaysement verschlimmbessern flechazo koi no yakan firgun psithirisma yuanfen mo chuisle mo chroí merak onsra aay'han ethi sehirlilestiremediklerimizdensiniz esperar kos la douleur exquise uitwaaien


More Posts from Csoip

9 years ago

we live and breathe words

i’m overcompensating for forgetting to breathe                               by writing too many words

and trying to make them sound poetic when really there’s no artistic way to say

i woke up one morning and drank bleach just to see how it tasted and bled out

in a bathtub dying a thousand little deaths every time i breathed in

so you could imagine how it feels to be told you’re writing too many words

when all you’re trying to do is remember how it felt to have air in your lungs,

what it tasted like instead of the blood that you vomited all along the white tiles.


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9 years ago

For John, all of the people I love and to celebrate a day with no hatred. Gender is what’s between your ears, not what’s between your legs, and love is love no matter what.

to those who are held back by an ill-fitting skin

my friend, he cried in my arms I held him close and let him weep until he could let it go and talk without fear of trembling.

He told me they had done nothing it was just words that had hurt him so left bruises and cuts and scars all over. They said that there are only girls-who-are-girls and boys-who-are-boys and there was no in between no either/or no and.

He cried for the wrongness of it, the idea that he was not supposed to be who he thought he was. The other day, he said, someone asked me what I was. I didn’t know what they meant I didn’t know I didn’t know

The question was not what are you but who are you and no one seemed to ask.

I told him they were right and he screamed, beating at my chest and crying I was just like them. I held him tight within the cage of my arms and did not let go, waited until he had worn himself out with the agony of perceived betrayal. Then I whispered softly that I had a secret.

I told him that they were right there are no boy-who-are-girls and girls-who-are-boys there are girls, and boys, and either/or and and you are what you choose to be and who you think you are is what you am

You are not a girl-who-is-a-boy and I am not a boy-who-is-a-girl you are a boy and I am a girl Let’s hold hands instead of the broken halves of our hearts.

I don’t mean to demean the struggle you have endured, the part of your being that comes from living for years in an ill fitting skin. That has and always will be you, it has made you and shaped you to be who you are.

But until we realise that people are people and you cannot change that no matter the gender or non gender you are a boy and I am a girl. When we can be recognised as boys and girls

then, maybe, if you want you can be a boy-who-used-to-be-a-girl and I will still call you John.

Through my words he stopped crying and beating against my chest, rested his head on my shoulder and held on for dear life. His skin felt a little less constricting a little less ill-fitting, broken and burnt. With that I said my secret- the one that kept me here.

you are what you think you are and that, my dear, is beautiful.


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9 years ago

synonyms for destruction:

girl pretty face but sad eyes and you know she’s going to ruin you gently, but it hurts the way she tears you apart and picks out every thread as careful as when she sews you back together smile lopsided and wrong down to your bones. destruction does not come fast, is not easy. is quiet and gentle, pulling you apart the way the world ends- a collapse inward, broken doll on joints that could not stand folding, paper with edges creased and a note that says i love you as she makes and remakes you in the shape of her own destruction. just as she is yours. what beautiful creatures we must be, harbingers of ruination and makers of our own destruction.


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9 years ago

extract longing; hold it. disclosure, full between your palms.

thought.

is abstract.

chase it.

the way you write.

poetry.

lines.

dividing line.

in two.

cross lines.

fold through.

like paper origami.

cut and hold.

a snowflake.

a real snowflake.

quick.

before it melts.

a passing glance.

hold it.

wait.

for the train.

abstract extract.

thought.


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9 years ago

a motorcycle heading west on a highway

A motorcycle heading west on a highway is what I am, bright headlights and flashing handlebars. Who can look down a road and not think, some day this will all be gone? It is the night almost morning between today and tomorrow, the closest I can be to seeing the future. In the future I think I might be alright. Right here on an empty highway, clinging to stay on as we go seventy, eighty miles and I scream like I have been for the past two hours; I screamed because the words meant so much, those words saved my life and I could finally finally hear them. Tonight a band that did not know me played in front of thousands of people and I was one of them. Lungs gasping voice hoarse I screamed in what could be called the closest approximation to one, one body held together by the emotion and one thought- "stay alive." On a motorcycle heading west on an empty highway at midnight, the clock resets to 00.00 and the day is infinite, we are infinite, and the bright headlights will tell no one if we pull over to cry at the beauty of it. We are alive and we are everything the world has to offer, we are one and infinite and this must be what was meant when the Lord said let there be light; someone flipped on a light switch and suddenly everything got a little bit brighter and the world was enough to bear. Thank you.


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