HEESEUNG YOU'RE STILL A VIRGIN? [ MDNI. ]
이희승 HEESEUNG 💋 YOU'RE STILL A VIRGIN? [ MDNI. ]
![HEESEUNG YOU'RE STILL A VIRGIN? [ MDNI. ]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d5a2bd7cdd40f295af8934512c279628/8b18246fbe41e28a-65/s500x750/1c3dfd45df8b26941d868a01a8070b0fa1fc36ad.jpg)
IN WHICH you realize you never completed your most important new year's resolution: losing your virginity. luckily, your roommate is willing to help you out with that
WARNINGS ⨯ smut, porn with a smidge of plot for context, not proofread cuz who needs that, fingering, orgasm denial (briefly), missionary, very vanilla sex, heeseung's kinda awkward #pathetic_men
WORD COUNT ⨯ 3.1k
AUTHOR'S NOTE . . . first work of the year!! sorry for taking an impromptu break so suddenly, but my works will still be coming out slowly as of now, so thank you for your patience 🫶
# TAGLIST ! @wonkifangirl @chlorinecake @sunjaywoning @jaeyunthejakesim @deobitifull @notevenheretbh1 @jvngw0nlvr @jongszn @ineedsomezzz @haelahoops @seongslutt @fakeuwus @leeheeheeseung @aheewonenthusiast @lprww @wonsbaer @heeseungssidechick @smisworld @rayofsunshineeee @starrypen @heerated @snwosgf @nycapartmentsworld @sooyeonvida @dear-hoon @nikiiitties
![HEESEUNG YOU'RE STILL A VIRGIN? [ MDNI. ]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e33dc5f78d6633f5e763cbfe708d5ae7/8b18246fbe41e28a-0f/s500x750/8f73023988798138e25904552d615edfb41158d2.jpg)
“We never finished sharing our new year’s resolutions.”
You stop mid-bite into your pancakes. You and Heeseung had spent all morning making them, finally testing out the new oven you got after the last one broke down during another pancake morning. It survived, luckily. There’s only the taste-test left, but Heeseung’s comment catches you so off guard, you put the fork back down.
“New year’s resolutions?” you repeat. “You mean the ones from basically last year?”
He nods, shoving his first bite in. He hums at the taste. Success. “Yeah, we made those lists and started sharing but then—” Heeseung tilts and quirks his brow in thought. “—I can’t even remember. We probably got distracted, but either way, we never made sure we both completed our lists.”
Chuckling awkwardly, you keep your eyes on the plate. “I don’t even know if I still have mine—”
“I do,” Heeseung interrupts. “We put them in that box, remember? I found it this morning, that’s why I thought to bring them up, ha.”
“You didn’t, er, read them, did you?”
Heeseung shakes his head, chewing through another bite. “I thought it’d be fun to go through them and see what we’ve done or not.” He lightly taps his fork around his plate. “We’ve got a few days before the new year starts, no plans, I don’t know…”
“No, no, yeah, I get it,” you assure, nodding quickly. “I just, um, they were stupid. I was stupid. This year changed me, you know?”
Your roommate looks at you with a teasing glint in his eye. “Oh yeah?” He watches you nod again. “All the more reason to get them.” And before you know it, he’s rushing to his room to, you assume, get the box he’d mentioned earlier.
It’s not long before he’s practically skipping back into the kitchen-dining area bringing the box. Tossing his plate aside, he sets the box in between you two and sits back down. You’re anxious at how he unfolds the lid and pulls out two sheets of crumpled paper.
“Yours was the one with the rip at the top,” you say, reading the questions in his mind. Your face flushes as you realize that’ll only prompt him to take it out the other first.
He smiles at you before hiding his face behind the paper. He begins to read it out loud. “Resolution one: Learn how to make (good) pancakes—” Grabbing his fork, he clinks it twice against the porcelain. “Check. Number two: Make weekly savings—Check, right?”
You hum, your leg shaking beneath the table.
“Alright, and then—” He lowers the paper. Your eyes widen. “Lose my virginity?”
“Okay!” you say overenthusiastically. “See! I was being stupid, such a dumb thing to write on a new year’s resolution list, right? Haha, so funny, let’s just throw these out—”
“Wait, but we can cross this off, though, right? You had that boyfriend?”
“He wasn’t my boyfriend,” you clarify. “He was… gross. I never really liked him like that, so it just never happened. It’s whatever, I’m a virgin, okay, let’s move on. Isn’t the next thing I put down like eat more salads—”
“You’re still a virgin?”
You look at him bewildered. What was up with the intonation? Was it really shocking? Why does he even care? You suppose he’s always been the nosy type, just never assumed it would translate to this, as well.
He seems to realize the second meaning to his words and fumbles to take them back. “Okay, not like—I didn't mean it in a weird way, I’m just surprised that you’re... you know?”
“It’s… whatever,” you clarify. “It’s fine. It’ll happen at the right moment, right? That’s what they all say.” You'd shovel another bite into your mouth and you can’t help but taste the bitterness from your words with the sweetness of the syrup. “I’ll get over it when it’s done and gone.”
Heeseung clears his throat, paper discarded to the side, his eyes fixed on your plate in deep thought. “Do you…”
You raise a brow.
“Do you want my help?”
-
In your defense, you really hate being a virgin. Not that it’s embarrassing or shameful to be one, but the fact that you swore to yourself that you wouldn't be a virgin anymore since last year makes you want to crumble up inside.
You just don’t want to embarrass yourself in front of your past self. Imagine her laughing at you? That’s a new low.
Which leads to this moment right now. Laying in Heeseung’s bed, in Heeseung’s room, waiting for Heeseung to come back into said room with the “supplies” he was rushing out to get.
The door slowly swings open as Heeseung pushes it with his back, his hands full. He makes eye contact with you and a pout makes its way across his lips. “You’re still wearing your clothes?”
Your eyes snap open wider. “Yes?!”
“We’re gonna have sex, Y/N, your clothes aren’t supposed to be on.” He smiles at you as he sets down lube and condoms.
A wave of relief washes over you when you realize he’s just teasing. Heeseung’s a gentleman, but it’s not like you've gotten the chance to know the side of him you two swore to never let you meet. He could’ve been a weirdo creep for all you knew, as long as he was paying his half of the rent it never mattered until right now.
“Do you want me to turn around when you take them off?” Yep, just the same old awkwardly sweet Heeseung you’ve always known.
You smile, albeit nervously. “You’ll see me naked anyway, might as well put on a strip performance to get you in the mood.”
He laughs at your sarcasm, then points to the lights. “We could turn those off if you want.”
For a moment, you consider it. If not for the hopes of Heeseung seeing the least possible, but for the ambiance. Do people leave the lights on or off during sex? Not like you know. Ultimately, you shake your head, getting off from the bed and sticking your hands under the hem of your shirt. “Ready?” you ask him, though the question is more internalized.
His hum is muffled by his hands reaching at the collar of his shirt.
At once, you two pull your shirts off together.
Standing bare chest to bare chest - with bra - you eye him carefully. “You take your shirt off from the top?”
“What?”
You mirrored his previous action. “You took your collar and pulled your head through the neck hole first—” your words muffle as you reenact it sloppily. “Normal people take their arms out first.”
Heeseung stiffles a laugh behind his hand. “Aren’t you supposed to try to seduce me?”
“Is this not sexy?”
“Oh, please, go on, you’re making me hard.”
The two of you laugh and you realize you’re not so nervous anymore. The anxious jitters left your hands and you can feel your muscles relaxing. It’s just Heeseung. Just Heeseung.
As he recovers from a fit of laughter, you look at him in a way you haven’t taken the chance to ever since you met almost two years ago. His arms that flex when he wraps them around himself. His smile which switches to a sly smirk when he’s resisting the urge to laugh louder. His hair that falls neatly into place, over his eyes that glint to the point you can’t take your gaze away from them.
Heat rushes to your cheeks.
He’s attractive. Yeah, that’s been obvious.
Your type? Maybe…
But this is different. And, oh god, he’s going to have sex with you.
Heeseung clears his throat, snapping you out of your daze.
“Pants?” he asks cautiously. His eyes are brimmed with concern, probably sensing your confused thoughts, clearly not understanding what you’re telling yourself.
You respond by tugging at your sweatpant laces, letting them drop down dramatically. Heeseung keeps his eyes glued to your movement, eyes widening at the sight of your bare legs and white panties. He quickly reaches for his belt.
To your surprise, you can see that he’s, at the very least, getting hard. Maybe it’s nerves. You try not to think too much about the possible influence the sight of your almost-bare body has on him.
Still, to test the waters and ease or completely disrupt your mind, you ask, “Can you help me with my bra?”
He fumbles an answer, you’re pretty sure you hear a ‘yes’ through his blabs, as he kicks out of his pants fully and stumbles to your side of the bed. You turn your back to him, giving him the cue by raising your hair away from the clasp.
Shivers run down your spine at his gentle, warm touch on your skin. You never knew you were sensitive, but with every simple movement, every brush against your back has you feeling goosebumps running up your arms.
Heeseung’s breath is hollow behind you.
When the clasp is finally undone, you pull your arms out of the straps, letting the material drop to the floor with your other discarded clothes.
You turn to face Heeseung, his eyes saying more than any words could mean. Stunned, he asks, “Can I kiss you?”
“Yes,” you whisper in return, eyes drifting down to his mouth.
He doesn't hesitate to lean in. His arms naturally slide around your waist, pulling you flush against his body as his lips hungrily crash into yours. You gasp through the initial shock of ferocity, relaxing into his hold with your hands coming up to the nape of his neck.
His fingers squeeze your skin pulling a sound from your mouth, muffled by his lips. You don’t even notice the way his knees push you back until you’re laying on the bed, lips still attached to Heeseung’s, but even those pull away eventually. You almost get up onto your elbows to chase after his touch, but stop yourself at the sight of his intense gaze.
Your gazes lock with each other for a moment, before he finally breaks contact to rush to the bedside cabinet where the lube bottle sits. He pours a generous amount on his fingers, rubbing the gel slowly. He eyes the way it reflects the light and this one reaction makes you think he’s never seen it before, but you doubt it — you’ve heard his sexual escapades thanks to your graciously thin walls.
“I’m going to finger you first,” Heeseung interrupts your thoughts.
You simply hum in return, letting your legs fall apart for him to get back into place, between them.
Heeseung has one hand on your thigh, the other levitates over your skin with nearly-dripping lube, but his eyes are on yours, waiting for another nod before he can continue.
Giving him the signal, you aren’t prepared for the chill that runs down your spine at the cold sensation of the lube on your sensitive skin. Soon enough, though, your gasps turn to gentle hums as Heeseung draws little circles on your bare pussy.
“This okay?”
You nod needily.
One finger finally intrudes, swimming through your walls and curls to find that certain spot. Your hips roll into it—you never thought it'd be this different from your own fingers.
“More,” you whimper.
“Already?” Heeseung teases, but you can hear partial genuinity in his tone.
Wordlessly, your hand reaches down to his, pulling at it to get another finger inside of you.
Heeseung chuckles in disbelief, but doesn't disobey your request.
Two fingers in and you’re letting soft gasps escape your lips, eyes already threatening to roll back at the rhythmic pattern Heeseung’s keeping up. He pushes in, pulls out, pushes back in and curls into you. You match his pace with your hips, hoping to deepen his touch. He’s so close, so close to where you need him.
Meanwhile, his thumb rolls gently over your clit to ease the tension of the stretch. It helps, making your head spin and forcing you to focus entirely on the pleasure you feel, rather than the pain.
Heeseung doesn't warn you when he slips in a third, but you’re busy throwing your head back, moaning to tell him off for it.
“Fuck,” you whisper to the ceiling. “‘Is so good.”
Your back arches as Heeseung’s fingers reach your G-spot, curling and tickling the bundle of nerves, ripping out more muffled moans, your hand thrown to your mouth not to disturb the neighbours.
“Right there!” you moan. “Right—shit, yes—Right there!” When he keeps at it, you can't hold on much longer. “Fuck, I’m so close—”
And then it’s gone.
All the pleasure is ripped away from you as Heeseung pulls out of you coldly, barely looking your way as he turns to the bedside cabinet.
“Hey,” you whine, albeit childishly.
It’s as if something clicks and he turns back to you. “Sorry,” he singsongs out. “I didn’t want you to come so soon, I still have to actually fuck you, right?”
You pout, but ultimately he’s right. That’s what you're here for. “Fine.”
He fumbles with the condom packet, eventually giving up at going at it with his lubed-fingers and rips the package with his teeth.
“I could’ve helped,” you tell him, smiling teasingly.
“I got it. I got it.” He waves his hand at you before he uses that same hand to roll down the condom and—Holy. Shit. He’s packing.
You never took the time to think about his size, though you probably would've determined it was a decent size from the outline of it when he's chilling on the couch with sweats on.
But now that it's out, hard and flush against his toned abs? You take a deep breath and try not to think too much about how it must taste, how it’d feel to have him down your throat—as if you even know how to give a proper blowjob. Maybe he could guide you, holding your head from the back and pushing it back and forth rhythmically up and down his cock and—
“Y/N?”
“Huh?”
“I asked if you’re sure about this?”
He’s pumping his cock as he asks. You resist the urge to lick your lips.
“Yes,” you say. “I’m ready.” And there’s no lie in your words.
Heeseung crawls back onto the bed once more, staying on his knees when his body is lined up with yours. He nods to himself and you before lining up his dick with your entrance, one hand falling to the side of your head, the other resting on your lower stomach as he pushes in slowly.
The intrusion is unfamiliar. The stretch hurts more than expected. Yet, your mouth is agape in frozen pleasure — Heeseung let his hand fall lower and is now drawing circles on your clit to ease the tension.
He keeps his thumb on your pussy while slowing his movement to a stop. “Tell me when I can move.”
Instead of relaxing into the stretch, preparing yourself for more friction, you focus entirely on Heeseung’s movements on your clit. Rolling the bud of pleasure between his two fingers, your eyes flutter shut in pleasure.
You test the waters by flexing your core muscles, squeezing your walls against Heeseung’s cock.
“Fuck,” he groans, snapping his hips forward at once, but he quickly stops himself. Heeseung looks up at you with cutely worried wide eyes. “Shit, sorry—Are you okay?”
You giggle. “Go!” you say between laughs, rolling your hips down to get him going.
He doesn't need to be told twice. He quickly resumes his previous thrust, your legs are naturally pushed apart to give him more access—moans spill from your lips at the newfound depth he reaches.
Heeseung’s head dips, his hair falling over his face, but does nothing to hide his expressions. You watch him for a moment, reveling in how good your pussy is making him feel. You clench around him again and his mouth falls open. He lets out the most harmonious sound you never expected from him but want to hear again and again.
So, you roll your hips into his, until your lower stomachs are threatening to brush against each other, until Heeseung lowers from his hands to elbows, and your bodies are flushed against each other. Your skins are sticky with sweat, but you can’t be bothered. Not with his rhythmic thrusts reaching so deep inside of you. Not with his fingers still playing with your clit, torturing the bud with nonstop pleasure. Not with his lips so close to your mouth, and your head pulling itself upward to capture them in another kiss.
Your hands snake to the back of his head, curling into his messy hair and pulling gently to bring him closer to you. His free hand finds its way into your hair, too, pushing the flyaways back into the rest of the mess, away from your face, before it rests gently on your neck, guiding you in the kiss.
“Fuck, baby,” he whispers into your mouth as your walls clench around him again.
Your head spins at his low tone, pleasure bubbling in your stomach in a way it never has before. “I’m—Shit—I’m so close!”
Heeseung takes this as a signal to speed up his fingers on your clit, and slows down his thrusts, deepening them with each push in.
“Come on, come for me.”
And you do.
So much, like never before.
Your back arches into him, head thrown back, letting out a sinful string of moans. You’d curse from the pleasure, but your thoughts aren't coherent enough to form words.
You’re frozen in place, legs shaking as Heeseung pulls out to finish himself off. He jerks off into the condom on top of your wasted body, coming undone as soon as your dazed eyes meet his hungry gaze.
He doubles over, landing on his hand, face mere inches away from yours. “Fuck,” he says.
“Fuck,” you repeat, a giggle in your tone.
“Congratulations,” he says, rolling onto his back to be laying beside you. “You’re no longer a virgin.”
Your weak arms raise in a small celebration. “Yay.”
“How was it?”
You can’t even respond, hands coming up to cover your flushed face. You can feel Heeseung’s smirk behind them.
“I’ll take that as good.” Then, after a beat. “Does that mean you'd want to do it again?”
Your hands fall flat to your sides in one quick movement. “What?”
“There’s so much more I can teach you.”
“No,” you say while shaking your head. He looks defeated, you almost want to reach up and pet him like a dog. “Not until you buy me dinner.”
-
jeontae liked this · 8 months ago
-
l-ailyn liked this · 8 months ago
-
ajg1234567 liked this · 8 months ago
-
chrisevanssbottomlip liked this · 8 months ago
-
kflwrs liked this · 8 months ago
-
ikeulove liked this · 8 months ago
-
saltyfunnykpopduck liked this · 8 months ago
-
gigi-kyh liked this · 8 months ago
-
fancyballooncherryblossom liked this · 8 months ago
-
wordskeeper liked this · 8 months ago
-
zahidkdj liked this · 8 months ago
-
heeswifetypeshi liked this · 8 months ago
-
iamhastaghot liked this · 8 months ago
-
i06kyo liked this · 8 months ago
-
lurkunkown220000 liked this · 8 months ago
-
sumilevelup liked this · 8 months ago
-
shysandwichbasement liked this · 8 months ago
-
cherrybeomm liked this · 8 months ago
-
lilakkuma liked this · 8 months ago
-
imreallyinlovewithyou-blog liked this · 8 months ago
-
gloriousstrawberrypost liked this · 8 months ago
-
bbsantc liked this · 8 months ago
-
shinyyeevee7 liked this · 8 months ago
-
cerisesparadise liked this · 8 months ago
-
bllaflwers liked this · 8 months ago
-
heavenlylove1564 liked this · 8 months ago
-
mcgoldass liked this · 8 months ago
-
his-seung liked this · 8 months ago
-
aerisaevv liked this · 8 months ago
-
leletismingisgirlfriend liked this · 8 months ago
-
grrassdfg liked this · 8 months ago
-
uknowitt liked this · 9 months ago
-
heelvr78 liked this · 9 months ago
-
nikistar liked this · 9 months ago
-
poetieles liked this · 9 months ago
-
jaiisusis liked this · 9 months ago
-
vedhalovesherself liked this · 9 months ago
-
sweetlyxaqq09 liked this · 9 months ago
-
mintseung reblogged this · 9 months ago
-
lawlietengene liked this · 9 months ago
-
sunitoluv liked this · 9 months ago
-
xxievn liked this · 9 months ago
-
balandos04 liked this · 9 months ago
-
clauumartnz liked this · 9 months ago
-
1-800-starlyy liked this · 9 months ago
-
sparklinghoneyy liked this · 9 months ago
-
lemonhead-to liked this · 9 months ago
-
s-3-w liked this · 9 months ago
More Posts from Cup1dwon
꒰ PULCHRITUDINOUS ! ꒱ -- yang jungwon - ˚ ༘ ⋆。˚



(dividers from here and here!)
✿ wc; 0.9k
✿ pairing; devil ! jungwon x fem ! angel ! reader
✿ genre; smut. absolute FILTH minors do not interact
✿ contains; supernatural themes (devil won angel reader), won is v teasing but soft dom, reader is extremely subby, pet names (angel, darling, kitten, ect.), sir kink, dumbification, degradation, dacryphilia, A LOT of corruption kink (reader is vv innocent) praise, squirting, creampie, slight breeding kink.

"that's it angel. you always do so well for me." jungwon's delicate, sadistic voice made your ears ring as you looked up at him. a sweet hiss pushing through his fangs as his length pushed painfully into you, inch-by-inch until you were filled to the hilt.
you couldn't believe it. you were making a deal with the devil.
"w-wonnie, i-"
"sir."
you gulped, as his fingers ran through your hair, "sir." you corrected yourself, biting your bottom lip as he slowly slid himself out of you, before thrusting back in again.
"tell me, kitten."
you whined as he leaned in, teeth closing around your earlobe as he gently bit down on it, "i-i just..." you squeezed your eyes shut, tears pricking at them from the stretch when he continued to move in and out of you, as you gripped onto his shoulder, "s-someone's gonna find us..!"
"will they?" he smiled at you, "well. that's too bad for you, darling."
"h-huh?" you blinked, "for me..? what about you?"
jungwon chuckled at you.
"oh, you're adorable, angel. do i really need to spell it out for you?" he said, before whispering into your ear, "everyone already knows me. a big, mean, scary monster, with the tendency to ruin pretty little things like you." he smirked, poking the end of your nose with his fingertip as he said the last word, "but you... you're just that. a pretty little thing. you've built yourself quite the reputation, haven't you? y/n l/n... a sugary-sweet, innocent, intelligent, pulchritudinous girl. what would someone think if they walked in and saw this perfect girl getting ruined all over devil cock like this?"
you let out a broken moan as he picked up the pace, tears racing down your cheeks. he cooed at you, "awh, don't cry kitten. it'll all be our little secret, hmm? i promise i won't tell a soul about how dirty you really are." his eyes flashed a bright shade of yellow as he leaned down to kiss your chest, finding your hardened nipple with his mouth and swirling his tongue around it before biting down on the sensitive bud. he fed off of the pleasureful whine he got out of you from it, "so sensitive. pretty baby's only this dumb and pathetic for me, aren't you?"
tears welled up in your eyes as you nodded your head desperately. it was as if he sent you into another dimension as he filled you up with such graceful impurity.
he was right. only you were truly at risk here. if anyone walked in on this, your entire reputation would be destroyed.
but you were too far gone to be worried about that, as your third orgasm of the night began to build up in your stomach. your fingers held tightly onto the sleeve of his leather jacket. jungwon smirked, his tongue protruding through his cheek as his sharp fangs reflected the moonlight from the window outside the window.
"gonna cum?" he asked you, his voice shaky and whispery as he leaned into your ear, asking you the vile and disgusting question without missing a beat.
your breath hitched in your throat, unable to respond to him other than with a long, whimpery string of moans, a tiny little 'yes sir' knotted to the end, which you only managed to cry out after much struggling.
he laughed darkly, licking a stripe up along the side of your ear as he gripped tightly onto your hips with his sharp claws, lifting you to a degree and pulling you onto his shaft as he met your hips halfway, "good. i'm gonna fill you up so good, yeah? you want that?"
you gasped and shuddered at this new angle, the tears now rolling down your cheeks as fast as raindrops on a window pane in a heavy rainstorm. you could feel so much more now, the way his bulbous head rubbed against your cervix when the base of his length reached the end made you feel foggy in the head, as you only nodded your head vigorously, "y-yes sir! please w-want you..!" you babbled drunkenly, intoxicated by his devilish intrusion.
jungwon smirked at your tearful desperation, "how dirty of you..." he whispered teasingly, "you want my devil babies in your pretty little angel pussy? hm?"
you weren't even really sure of the extent of what he was saying anymore, only gasp and nodding your head, feeling your opening clamp tightly down onto him, the stretch now even more satisfying as you felt your eyes roll back, your body arching off of the desk. "m' g-gonna..!"
he chuckled beneath his breath as he watched the knot snap before him, your entire body shaking as you gushed around him, making a real mess of the classroom desk, your words breaking into torn and fragmented moans and whimpers. you could feel your heartbeat thundering through your body, thighs dripping with essence as you gasped for air, eyelids heavy as he continued to chase his high, connecting his lips to yours in a messy kiss.
he let out a soft groan against your lips as he stilled his movements, his warm, pearlescent release filling you to the hilt as your eyelashes fluttered and your breath began to slow to a more fluid pace.
the both of you took a moment to calm down, before you opened your mouth to say something, but jungwon only grinned at you, hushing you gently.
"shh... i'll take care of you, sweet angel."
✿ taglist; @hunbun07 @metalchick529 @chewryy @iraa567 @jwchn @bunhoons !
<33
Jake Enhypen Layout/Moodboard !!






reblog if use/save!
loved this <3
beat you at your own game | hrj

summary : y/n has a crush on renjun, who's not that great with people. despite his standoffish nature, she makes an effort to be friendly. but things take a twist when she starts to ignore him.
pairing : renjun x fem! reader
genre : college au. romance, fluff, angst
word count : 3.5k

huang renjun, how exactly would you describe him? well, for starters, he can be a bit cranky. he's all about having his own space, not a fan of dragging things out, and gets things done in a flash. he’s also straightforward and not afraid to speak his mind. people have mixed feelings about him because of it. but oddly enough, it only adds to his charm, making people naturally drawn to him, much to his 'i'd-rather-not' demeanor.
needless to say, you just had to develop a crush on someone who’s the total opposite of you. you’re a people-pleaser; you’d much rather say things that would please others rather than express your genuine thoughts. confrontations make you uncomfortable, and you lean towards making excuses for those who hurt you on purpose. you also always try to avoid conflicts as much as you can, and resort to suffering in silence instead. you're trying to change that aspect about yourself, but you grew up having those traits, making it hard to break free. nevertheless, you're working on it.
you never intended to let renjun know about your feelings, but your friends were determined to embarrass you whenever he was around, constantly teasing you. it didn't help that despite not being close to renjun and his group, some of them were friends with your close friends, so they eventually joined in poking fun at your crush. one day, you decided to dismiss their incessant teasing and initiated a friendly conversation with renjun. at first, he responded out of courtesy. you weren't stupid though; you could tell that renjun was clearly fed up with his friends and wanted nothing to do with their antics.
he began to dislike being associated with you, offering only short responses and not acknowledging your presence more than necessary. you didn’t pay it much mind, since getting close to him wasn't your original goal. your aim was to ease the awkwardness and shed the embarrassment that accompanied your interactions. you happened to share some classes with renjun, coincidentally, those were the ones where both your friends weren't around. sitting next to him became a default habit, as he was the only familiar face in those particular classes.
one morning, you found yourself running late for your 8am class, prompting you to dash before your professor arrived. you accidentally collided with renjun, who happened to be holding an iced coffee. to your horror, more than half of the drink ended up spilling onto his shirt.
“oh my god, renjun, i’m so sorry!” you looked at him in fear, and it took everything in him to remain calm.
“why are you running around a busy hallway?”
“i’m really, really sorry. i’m late for my first class and i didn’t think i’d bump into anyone.” renjun let out an annoyed sigh.
“whatever.”
“wait!” you opened your bag to bring out your alcohol and wipes. “do you need them?”
“no, thank you.” he proceeded to walk past you, but you held onto his arm.
“what about the stain?”
“i have a spare shirt. can you let me go now? i thought you said you were late.”
“shoot, you’re right. i’m sorry again, i promise i’ll make it up to you!” you shouted as you ran.
“please don’t,” he grumbled.
later on, you found renjun at the library working on your assignments. you sat quietly next to him and began doing your own. he didn’t spare you a look and just carried on with his work. you spent a few hours completing them, and both of you got it done at the same time. as you got up to gather your things, you spoke to the boy beside you.
“renjun, do you have anything to do after this?”
“no.”
“do you want to try the newly opened diner just a few blocks away? my friends have prior commitments, and i wanted to make it up to you for spilling your coffee earlier.” you already knew he was going to refuse, but it wouldn’t hurt to still ask.
“sorry, i’ll have to pass. i need to get home quickly.” you nodded in understanding and smiled at him.
“no biggie. take care on your way home!”
“thanks,” he simply said before leaving.

“how are you and y/n? any progress? are you going out already?” jaemin asked teasingly, wiggling his brows.
“shut up. i want her to back off, honestly.”
“you want everyone to back off.”
“yeah, but most especially, y/n.”
“uh, why do you sound so annoyed with her?”
“because she is. i turned her down several times, but she can’t take a hint. nothing’s more annoying than someone who imposes themselves on others.”
“relax, man. you’re being a little too hard on the girl. you’ll see that she’s nice if you give her a chance.”
“what exactly is nice about her being fixated on me? it’s mostly your fault. if you guys weren’t such instigators, she wouldn’t have been pushy.”
you walked away from the scene, ensuring they didn’t notice your presence. you wiped away the lone tear that involuntary fell from your eye. it wasn’t often that you heard someone openly talk about their obvious dislike of you, and hearing it from the person you were supposed to like was quite disheartening. it wasn't your intention to impose your presence on him or force a connection that wasn't meant to be. you reckoned it was time to reevaluate your feelings and accept the need to let go of your futile crush on renjun, sparing both of you from any further confusion or misunderstandings.

renjun had grown accustomed to spotting you in your regular seat during your shared class. however, he was met with surprise when he noticed you had moved to a vacant seat considerably distant from your usual spot next to him. he was a bit confused at first, but chose not to dwell on it. he also noted that you didn't notice his entrance into the room, as you were engrossed in some task.
you continued to maintain a distance in your next classes with renjun. he was uncertain if you were oblivious to his presence or deliberately avoiding acknowledgement, given the lack of glances his way. he found it a bit strange that you refrained from initiating any form of interaction, but he didn’t mind. he thought he felt better. at least, for now.
however, renjun was not expecting your odd behavior to persist. it brought another surprise when you ignored him again the following day. even when your eyes accidentally locked for a second, you quickly averted your gaze. renjun wasn’t sure if you really didn’t see him or were just pretending not to. you weren’t wearing your glasses, and your eyesight wasn't the best. but even if you did ignore him on purpose, he didn’t mind… or did he?

it’s been a while since you stopped talking to renjun. at first, he thought he felt a sense of relief, thinking it gave him some space. but after a week, he was confused about why you suddenly stopped. the following week, he could feel his stomach churning seeing you leave class, secretly hoping you’d look back. then, the week after that, he felt a wave of anger because there were more than a few times he bumped into you purposely to get you to talk to him, but you did not utter any word other than a quiet apology. now, nearly a month later, he started to feel dejected because no matter what he did, you always acted like he wasn't even there. renjun wasn’t sure what he did wrong to make you so determined in avoiding him completely.
“renjun is going through 5 stages of grief,” jaemin started with a taunting smirk.
“what?” haechan looked at him in confusion.
“y/n has been ignoring him for a month.”
“WHAT? WHY?”
“exactly. i haven’t had the chance to ask her since we’re not close enough.”
“what about jeno?”
“he doesn’t want to pry.”
“maybe she got tired of renjun’s grumpy attitude,” chenle chimed in.
“maybe,” jaemin turned to the boy in question. “look at him, he’s miserable.”
“shut up,” renjun muttered in discontent.
“stop provoking him. this is his first heartbreak,” chenle taunted, making renjun roll his eyes at their ridiculousness.
“you know you can always speak to her first and ask her what’s up, right?”
“if she wanted to speak to me, she would’ve done it first,” his friends could only shake their heads in disapproval.
“don’t be stupid.”
“and i’m begging all of you to mind your own business.”
“be that way, and you’ll find yourself in an irreversible situation.”
"yeah, renjun, don't say we didn't warn you!" haechan added with a mischievous grin.

you kept quiet about what you had overheard from renjun in the last month, choosing not to share the details with your friends. you figured they would eventually notice renjun's absence from your life, and when they finally asked you about it, you dismissed their probing questions. you casually informed them that your crush on him had simply faded after getting to know him better. you were quite good at making believable lies, they were convinced by it and dropped the topic quickly.
unexpectedly, renjun sought you out in an empty classroom to confront you about your sudden disconnection. you looked like a deer caught in headlights when you realized who had just entered, walking in long and quick strides to your direction. in your mind, you were already conjuring up excuses to explain yourself.
“why are you ignoring me?” his question broke the silence, leaving you with no room to escape.
so much for attempting to evade this confrontation.
you took a moment to gather your thoughts, unsure how to respond. you tried to conceal your distress as renjun stared down at you while waiting for you to talk. it seemed like he was determined to stand his ground, expecting you to tell him the truth. with a frustrated sigh, you finally spoke up.
“i’m just staying out of your way,” you said after a moment of silence.
“yeah, so why?” his voice was demanding, it ticked you off a little.
you questioned why you were initially afraid of renjun confronting you and why you bothered coming up with excuses. after all, it wasn't his place to interrogate you when you were simply doing what he seemed to want from the start.
“i don’t know why you’re asking. isn’t that what you want? you should be happy.” you began to gather your things so you can walk off, but you heard him speak again.
“i don’t remember telling you to keep your distance. you obviously have a problem with me. what is it?”
“you don’t remember telling me because you didn’t. you told other people.” your tone laced with a hint of annoyance.
“that what?”
“renjun, i don’t get you. you keep brushing me off, you show your irritation with me so openly, and you tell everyone that you want me out of your line of sight. and now that i’m doing exactly that, you’re still mad at me? what’s your problem?”
“stop speaking in riddles and just tell me what's going on,” he said in an exasperated tone as you shifted to face him directly.
“last month, i was passing by the main library, and i overheard you talking to your friends. you mentioned something about me not getting a hint and wanting me to leave you alone,” renjun looked a bit puzzled at first. when you were about to walk away, his eyes widened in realization.
“no, y/n, i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean any of what i said-“ you shook your head lightly at his predictable response.
“don’t be. you were completely right, and i’m not even angry about it. i just don’t want to do anything with you anymore.”
“listen, i really am sorry. i blurted out those things in the heat of the moment. i regret saying them out loud, especially now that i know you were there to hear it… it’s really not what i think of you.”
“it’s fine, renjun. i didn’t tell you all of this to get an apology. i’m only telling you why i’m doing what i’m doing, like you asked, and to make it clear that i’m done.” renjun blocked your way hastily to stop you from leaving.
“hear me out, alright? back then, i was being overly sensitive. they were pushing my buttons, and i didn't know how to handle it. i messed up, treated you badly, and you didn’t deserve any of that. a month without you made me realize a few things. i had to confront what i really want and face some truths i'd been avoiding,” he paused, gauging your reaction before continuing. “i miss spending time with you, and, well, i realized i've got feelings for you. more than i thought. it never crossed my mind that you'd actually step away, and it hit me hard. the idea of losing you if you choose to walk away made me lose my mind.” your heart raced as he spoke, and his confession stirred up a mix of emotions. your confusion lingered, but you decided to reason through it, pushing aside the sincerity in his eyes as you gave him an incredulous look.
“are you… getting your feelings confused with something else? did you consider that maybe your mind is playing tricks on you, making you think you like me because you're used to others chasing after you?” he winced, trying to ignore the indirect suggestion that he might be a narcissist. it was a struggle for him to open up about his feelings, only for the girl he liked to question and imply that he couldn't understand his own emotions.
“i wouldn't be here questioning why you've been avoiding me for a month, and pouring out my feelings if i hadn't thought this through. it might be hard to believe right now, but if you give me a chance, i can prove it to you."
“i don’t think this is a good idea,” his face contorted into a pained expression. he felt lost, trying to find the right words to convince you. taking a deep breath, he gently held your shoulders, making you look up at him.
“please, just give me a chance to prove myself. i feel like i've wasted so much time.” the desperation was evident in his voice. still skeptical of his feelings, you removed his hands as they fell down to your arms.
“i’ll think about it.” you said before walking away, leaving a lingering sense of uncertainty in the air.

renjun’s friends had been observing him for a few days, and he’s become unusually quiet. they contemplated asking him what’s wrong, but they wanted to give him some space. it was glaringly obvious that something was bothering him, and he didn’t want to talk about it. jeno couldn't help but express his concern.
"renjun, you've been awfully quiet lately. everything alright?"
"yeah, i'm fine. just dealing with some stuff." jeno and jaemin exchanged knowing glances.
"we're here whenever you're ready to talk." jaemin assured, patting his back.
he had been feeling down since your conversation a few days ago. your words had been weighing on his mind and creating an internal turmoil. the fact that you continued to ignored him in all your classes didn't offer much comfort. renjun couldn't help but cast a longing look in your direction whenever he saw you. he was torn between regret and fear that he might have already ruined his chance.
meanwhile, his confession has been replaying in your mind. the idea of him reciprocating your feelings caught you off guard; it was something you never saw coming. after some contemplation, it became apparent to you that renjun really felt apologetic and was filled with remorse. could it be that he genuinely likes you? even if that was the case, you're still unsure whether it's the right move to start something with him.
maybe i should stop overthinking this.
you took a deep breath before releasing a loud sigh, unaware that the boy who had been occupying your thoughts, stood right in front of you.
“y/n,” you looked up to see renjun. you waited for him to speak, but it seemed like he was having a mental struggle, debating whether to say what was on his mind. he mustered up the courage to ask if you were willing to give him a chance. staring at him with an unreadable expression, he didn't know how to interpret the situation. was it a bad time to talk?
“why?” you finally asked. although renjun was hesitant, he answered.
“i was wondering if you already thought about what i said? i mean… i can wait if you’re still thinking about it.”
“if i say no, are you going to leave me alone?” your heart sank a little when his face fell. he didn't respond right away.
“well, if that’s what you want, i guess i would have to…”
“renjun,”
“yeah?”
“let’s give it a try.” his expression became hopeful.
“really?”
“yes. you said you liked me back, i’ll hold onto that for now. i just hope you won’t let me down.”
“i won’t.” a smile spread across his face as he enveloped you in a tight embrace. returning the hug, you savored the comforting feeling of his arms around you. "thank you for taking a chance on me," he said, the sincerity evident in his words and the embrace.

“i’m happy for them, i really am. but watching these two stare at each other lovingly is sickening.” giselle said, faking disgust.
“at least they’re just staring… you wouldn’t believe how clingy renjun gets when they’re at the dorm.” chenle remarked, your friends swiftly turned their heads around.
“spill.”
“he’s always attached to her, literally. there’s no other way to describe it.”
“huh… i thought it would be the other way around.”
“yeah, no. but i guess that’s just right, considering he didn’t give her the best treatment at first.”
giselle and karina chuckled at the revelation. intrigued by the dynamic between you and renjun.
"love can do wonders, huh?" jaemin grinned, nudging jeno.
"guess he learned his lesson," karina added, raising an eyebrow. "who would've thought?"
as the group watched the both of you, they exchanged knowing looks. it was obvious that renjun had gone through some changes, moving from his initial standoffish ways to being glued to the person he wasn't so kind to initially.

“i have the dorm all to myself this weekend.” you raised your brow at him.
“and what are you insinuating?”
“you know…” he continued with a suggestive look.
“i’m studying for finals week," you deadpanned.
“which is exactly what i’m suggesting. i find myself more productive when i’m with you.”
“quite the contrary. we don’t get anything done when we study together.”
“don't you want my hugs and kisses?” he pouted.
“not when i’m busy trying to finish school-related activities.”
“fine, i’ll behave.”
“you always say that. i don’t believe you anymore.”
“maybe i’ll be less clingy if you pay more attention to me. you’re always busy, you don’t have time for your boyfriend.”
“renjun, unlike you, i have to put in extra effort into studying to get good grades. i’m not as smart as you are.”
“excuses.” you rolled your eyes.
“you’re so adorable,” you cooed, grabbing his face for a quick peck. “i never imagined you to be the touchy and clingy type.”
“baby, there are a lot of things you don’t know about me.”
“like what?” you inquired with a playful smile.
“like how great i am at using my hands to make someone feel really good,” he whispered in a lower voice.
“oh?” you raised an eyebrow, smirking playfully.
“yeah. apparently, i give one heck of a shoulder massage,” you burst out laughing at his endearing silliness. the sound of your laughter made renjun pause and smile, as he took his time to observe you. suddenly, he felt an overwhelming surge of happiness. taking your hand gently in his, he pressed a tender kiss to your fingertips, capturing your attention and prompting you to look at him.
"you make me feel the happiest. i love you," he confessed, the sincerity resonating in his words.
your stomach flipped, the euphoria of hearing those three words from him for the first time washing over you. then it hit you- the unexpected journey with renjun had led you to a place you never envisioned. he, too, held the key to your happiness.
“i love you too.” you closed the distance between you two and your lips met his. as he wrapped an arm around your waist, you let yourself fall to his embrace, deepening the kiss.
renjun was met with the realization that while you fell for him first, he descended later, but with an intensity that surpassed a thousand falls.

he’s thinking about the oppression of women in society💔