Jeonghans Guide To Insurance Fraud (And Falling In Love)

Jeonghan’s Guide to Insurance Fraud (And Falling in Love)

reader x jeonghan

summary: your best friend offers a way for you to get your wisdom teeth removed without going into debt. the only catch? you can’t fall in love

genre: fluff, angst, non-idol au, elementary school teacher!jeonghan, f2L, fake relationship

warnings: swearing (jihoon needs soap), one suggestive joke?, mentions of insecurities??? (is that a warning)

wc: 11.2k

a/n: this story (probably obviously) is based on the fact that i have aged out of my parents dental and i still have my wisdom teeth and this gives me anxiety - if you live somewhere with actually decent healthcare what’s it like 😭 (we can call this 100 follower special sure yeah uh huh)

“Marry me.” 

You eyed Jeonghan from across the couch. Having been friends with him since childhood, you knew what it looked like when he was going to say something completely insane. The corners of his mouth would turn up (as if even he knew how ridiculous what he was saying was), his eyes would glint with mischief, and when he was really messing with you, he’d sit back and fold his arms. 

The thing was, he wasn’t doing any of that now. 

It’s only because you knew him so well that you realized he was actually nervous, blinking just a little bit more than usual and popping his knuckles. 

“You’re serious?” You finally said. 

He shrugged, feigning nonchalance as he leaned back against the arm of the couch. “It’s a solution.” 

“It’s marriage, Jeonghan,” you said. “It’s not something you do on a whim.” 

“It’s not a whim,” he said, rolling his eyes. “I thought it through. You’d be able to get your teeth out without going into debt.” He poked your left cheek, almost to your jaw, as if he could reach your teeth. 

“But marriage? That’s like—a whole commitment and everything,” you sputtered. “You don’t just marry someone for insurance!” 

He shrugged. “Why not? It’s half the reason I took this job and my wisdom teeth have already been taken out. I need to make full use of it!” He knocked his knee against yours. “We’ll get divorced as soon as your teeth are fine. Don’t you want to do something fun and stupid?” 

“Fun and stupid is for people that didn’t lose their parents’ dental insurance,” you said with a sigh that even you knew was dramatic. 

“And this is a solution to that!” Jeonghan paused. “You really won’t even consider it?” 

You turned to him, seeing how earnest he was. For whatever reason, he really believed in this. “Why? What does this do for you?” 

“Contrary to what you and Seokmin think, not everything I do is give and take,” Jeonghan said. He placed a hand on your wrist, warm and familiar. “Yn, you are my best friend, and I want to help. I can help, I have a legitimate solution. If you want.” 

For the first time, you actually contemplated it. Fake marrying Jeonghan wouldn’t change anything. He’d still be the idiot you met in elementary school that somehow convinced you for an entire year that humans came from Mars, and who had talked you into joining the Shakespeare Club in high school before abandoning you to join the soccer team. And he’d still be the first person you’d called when your first boyfriend had broken up with you and you needed a shoulder to cry on, the person who kept you up all night so you could write your final paper last minute your senior year, the first person you hugged when you finally graduated college. 

“I’m not marrying anyone that doesn’t ask properly,” you said, not quite able to hide your smile. It was quickly wiped away when he slid off the couch, kneeling in front of you and scooping your hands into his. He looked up at you without a hint of a lie, his smile hesitant and nervous. 

“Yn, my love.” He paused for dramatic effect. It wasn’t the first time he’d called you ‘my love,’ but it was different when he was immersed in the act of a man in love, making your heart skip a beat. “Would you please consider marrying me?” 

You were tempted to say yes right away, your heart beating much louder than it should have considering it was just Jeonghan and not an actual proposal. You opened your mouth to answer, but the door flew open and Mingyu walked in. You whirled around to see him, Jeonghan’s hands still wrapped around yours. 

Jeonghan’s roommate clearly had walked in without looking, now frozen with his bag hanging in his hands and one shoe half off. “I can come back.” 

“No need!” You said, as he tried unsuccessfully to wiggle his foot back into his shoe. “Jeonghan was just proposing.” 

“Oh, is that all,” Mingyu said. You were tempted to keep the joke going but you were a little worried at Mingyu’s frown, a mixture of shock and concern. 

“He’s just trying to marry me so that I can get my wisdom teeth out,” you said. “It’s just insurance fraud.” 

“Oh, is that all,” Mingyu repeated, sounding rather disappointed. He finally shut the door behind him, tossing his bag into a corner and taking his shoes fully off. “Don’t let me interrupt.” You watched him cross the room, barely glancing at you and Jeonghan, and disappear into his room. 

Jeonghan squeezed your hands to get your attention again. “So? How about it?” 

You smiled. “Sure. On one condition.” 

.

.

You would have had a lot more fun if the waiter wasn’t still staring at you. It was starting to get uncomfortable. Since you sat down, you hadn’t felt him look away, his eyes burning into you throughout the entire meal. 

You wondered if Jeonghan even noticed, sitting across from you and frowning at the menu. You tapped his foot under the table and he finally looked up and smiled at the man. 

“Are you ready for dessert?” The waiter took his eyes off of you and you finally felt like you could breathe again. Some of it was your own fault. As Jeonghan ordered, you decided that it had been your idea and you couldn’t really be mad at him for being oblivious to your discomfort. It wasn’t like you were actually on a date. 

“Anything else?” The waiter turned back to you and you tried your best not to squirm under his gaze. It felt like he was trying to undress you with his eyes. You wished you had worn a jacket and less form-fitting clothes. 

Jeonghan reached across the table and squeezed your hand, making the waiter shift his eyes away from you for a moment. You glanced at your fake date and he smiled. 

“We’re good, thank you,” you said, not taking your eyes off Jeonghan. You waited until you heard his footsteps leading away before you sighed in relief, letting go of Jeonghan’s hand. 

“What is up with that guy?” You muttered. 

“We’re almost out of here,” Jeonghan said. “We can bail if you want, though.” 

You shook your head. “I want to see the look on his face when we walk out of here.” 

Jeonghan laughed. That was why you were best friends. You understood the little voice in his head that whispered about petty comebacks so well because it sounded a lot like yours. 

“So,” he said louder. You realized he was starting, fixing any stray hairs that had wandered into your face and sitting up a little straighter. “We’ve been together for a long time.” You nodded, smiling and finding it easy to pretend to hang on to every word as if you were in love. “Yn, you have been by my side through the most important parts of my life. I can’t imagine my future without you in it. Even before we were dating, I always knew it was going to be me and you.” 

He paused, stepping out of his chair to kneel on the hard tile floor, reaching into his suit jacket and pulling out a box. He opened it, revealing the simple gold band you had picked out together. With his free hand, he found yours, squeezing your fingers gently. 

“Yn, will you please marry me?” 

Your hand flew to your mouth, as you stood up, sputtering his name, trying to pretend like a flustered date, buying time so you could blink out the real tears in your eyes. Teaching those children was making him too good of a liar. 

“Yes,” you finally said. “Of course yes.” His smile was so big as he slid the ring onto your finger that you knew you had the entire restaurant fooled, maybe even yourself. There was applause when he pulled you into a hug, and you wondered if you were supposed to be this excited about a fake marriage. 

You caught a glimpse of a uniform out of the corner of your eye and had a terrible idea. You pulled away until your face was only inches away from his, playing with the lapels of his suit jacket while his hands came to rest at your waist as if this were natural. 

“You wanna kiss?” You asked softly. You were, perhaps, a little too entertained by how wide his eyes got, his hands suddenly tight. “It’ll be funny,” you said, leaning a little bit closer. “And I think it’ll look really weird if we don’t do it now because it really looks like we’re about to kiss.” 

He stared at you, glancing at your lips then back to your eyes. You realized that this was the closest you’d ever been to him, in all your years of friendship. Your breath hitched as he leaned forward, and you closed your eyes. 

Just when you were beginning to think he chickened out, you felt his lips on yours, a gentle and chaste kiss that was supposed to end in a heartbeat. Your hands curled into the fabric of his jacket as you leaned closer, chasing him before he could pull away. For a moment, he didn’t react. Then he was kissing you back and you forgot what you were supposed to be worried about.

You were both breathing heavily when he finally pulled away. You felt a little light headed, grateful he didn’t let go of your waist as you tried to remember why you had been kissing your best friend, and why it felt so good. 

“I can’t wait to marry you,” he said, reaching a hand up to brush some hair out of your face. Right. Marriage. Fake marriage. You finally pushed out of his arms, sitting back in your seat, though you kept your dazed smile. 

“Congratulations,” the older couple sitting at the table next to you said. “You two make a lovely young couple.” 

“Thank you,” you said. 

“Take it from someone who’s been married for fifty-one years,” the man said, “the only right way to do marriage is to find someone that loves you and hold on to them.” 

You smiled at them, feeling a little guilty that you weren’t really getting married. You did love Jeonghan, though not in the sense that he meant. 

“It’s been fifty two years, dear.” 

The man frowned. “No, I counted this morning.” 

“Well, you counted wrong.” 

You turned back to Jeonghan as they continued to bicker, raising your eyebrows. He smiled, picking up your left hand that now bore the “engagement” ring, running his thumb over your fingers. The kiss was messing with your head, that was why your heart was pounding at such a simple movement. 

You sat in idle silence as Jeonghan laced your fingers together and you both eavesdropped on the fighting couple next to you. For a couple moments, it was nice, and you let yourself pretend you really were engaged. You wondered what it would be like to be so certain in your love that you would commit to every day with them. Maybe you were just young, but you couldn’t imagine the strength of that love. Except maybe you could, because you knew for a fact that your future held Jeonghan. And Seokmin, and Seungcheol, and Mingyu, and all of your friends. They were fixtures in your life even if it was a different kind of love. 

Jeonghan tapped your hand, bringing you out of your daydream. “Free dessert incoming.” You turned around and saw a waiter, not the one who had been staring at you, carrying a large slice of cake with a candle in it. 

“Congratulations!” He said, setting it on the table. “Please enjoy your dessert complimentary as a sign of our hope your love will be everlasting!” His enthusiasm was fake but the free dessert was all you cared about anyways, the entire reason you had Jeonghan propose a second time. 

You cut into the cake, excited to see if it really was as good as the reviews said. The fork was halfway to your mouth before you paused, smiling at Jeonghan. He seemed to know exactly what you were thinking, rolling his eyes but opening his mouth. You leaned over the table, delivering the cake directly into his mouth. You tried not to think about his lips as you pulled the fork back, remembering how they felt against yours. 

You quickly cut your own piece, focusing on the sweet chocolate. It really was delicious, definitely worth the fake engagement. You savored each bite, not daring to look at Jeonghan for fear of your thoughts betraying you again. 

The cake was finished quickly, leaving you full and suddenly nervous with nothing to look at other than Jeonghan. Since when did he make you nervous? 

Because you weren’t looking at him, you didn’t notice him lean forward, and nearly jumped when his fingers brushed against your chin, thumb rubbing against the corner of your lips. 

“You had some chocolate on your face, idiot,” he said, dropping his hand and leaning back. It’s because you haven’t been on a date in a while, you decided. That’s why the simplest actions from Jeonghan were making your heart flutter. 

“Thanks,” you mumbled, trying to see if the waiter carrying a check was headed your way. 

You hoped the awkwardness would go away after a few minutes, but even after Jeonghan paid (and stared down the waiter) and you both walked to his car, you couldn’t think of anything to say to break the awkward tension. It was as if you had forgotten everything you had ever spoken about, your mind completely blank. 

You sat in the front seat of his car, tapping your fingers on the armrest and looking anywhere but at your best friend. You tried to remember the last time you had been with him and didn’t have anything to say. How did you normally act around him? Make fun of his driving? Tease him about…Well, usually about his lack of a love life but you were definitely not bringing that up now. 

You were relieved when his phone rang, saving you from spewing any of the awkward conversation starters you were coming up with. Jeonghan answered with his fancy steering wheel button, making you reminisce about the days when you would have to answer for him. Sometimes you missed his old car, as beat up and shitty as it was. 

“You bastard.” You grinned at Jihoon’s greeting. 

“Hi, Jihoon, my night is going great, how’s yours?” 

“Hi Jihoon!” You said so that he’d know you were there too. 

“How dare you fucking leave me?” Jihoon said. “You heartless, spineless, dickless, motherfucker.” 

Jeonghan laughed. “I see the dance went well.” You stifled your giggle. You’ve met Jeonghan’s work friends a couple times, though this is the first time you’ve experienced Jihoon’s full wrath (Jeonghan has told you many times how scary the man could be and you’ve seen firsthand that he has not skipped gym day in years). 

“I sent Joshua,” Jeonghan said. “It couldn’t have been that bad.” 

“Yeah that bastard is next, he switched too,” Jihoon said. “I had to chaperone with motherfucking Seungkwan.” 

“Oh come on, it couldn’t have been that bad,” Jeonghan says. “Seungkwan is nice.” 

“You better have a good goddamn excuse.” You could hear Jihoon’s glare. “Any second I wasn’t dealing with a kid crying bc they couldn’t get a goddamn muffin or pissed their pants I was listening to that fucking idiot gush about how cute the kids are. I haven’t had a second to hear my own fucking thoughts.” 

“Stop laughing!” You said. “Green light, dumbass!” Jeonghan wiped a couple tears from his eyes and stepped on the gas before the cars behind you honked. 

“Yn?” Jihoon seemed to finally realize you were there. 

“Yeah, I’m with Jeonghan, he’s driving,” you said. 

“Are you the reason that motherfucker ditched me tonight?” He asked. You wondered if it was safe to answer the question, but, catching a glimpse of the ring on your finger glinting under the passing streetlight, you realized you had a perfectly good reason. 

“Well, we did get engaged,” you said. 

Jihoon was silent. Jeonghan’s head whipped to you for a moment before turning back to the road. When you winked at him, it took him a moment to return a smile. 

“Took you long enough,” Jihoon finally said. 

“It’s not an actual engagement,” Jeonghan said, rolling his eyes at your groan. “Yn just wanted free dessert.” 

“You canceled on me because you scammed a restaurant?” Jihoon sounded pissed again. 

“We could have kept that going so much longer,” you muttered as Jihoon began to curse him out again. Jeonghan pulled into your driveway, leaving the engine on. 

“I’ll see you on Monday, Jihoon,” Jeonghan said. 

“Yeah, looking forward to it,” Jihoon said. You frowned as the call disconnected. 

“I think he might be planning your murder,” you said. 

Jeonghan laughed. “Yeah, you’re probably right. I’ll just call Joshua and make sure he’s there to witness it.” 

“I’m pretty sure it’ll just end up being a double homicide,” you said. “Is it weird that I’m a little scared of him?” 

“It’s a common reaction,” he said. “You get used to it, especially when you see him with the kids. He’s an entirely different person.” 

Just like you, you thought, barely catching yourself before you said it out loud. You saw Jeonghan exactly once at school, picking up a work paper he’d accidentally taken with him when he was grading at your dinner table, and immediately forgot to be mad because you got to spy on him teaching in front of a bunch of eight year olds who were actually listening to him. He might have been your best friend, but even you couldn’t deny the way he could make the entire class burst into giggles with just a wink was at least a tiny bit adorable. 

You looked at him now, dark hair getting so long it was falling over his eyes. As he reached a hand back to try (and fail) to tuck it behind his ear, you remembered how they pressed into your waist when you kissed. You pushed the horrible thoughts away, realizing you had been quiet for way too long. 

“I’ll go inside now,” you said, opening the door. You turned around as you got out, facing him. “Thank you for indulging me tonight.” 

His eyes flitted between the ring on your finger and back to your eyes. “You know I love free food just as much as you.” 

You laughed. “Thank you anyways.” You chewed on your lip for a moment before adding, “Seriously, thank you. I… I really don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

He blinked before smiling. “You’d probably let Soonyoung pull out the teeth with pliers.” 

“Oh my god, I totally would,” you said, covering your mouth. “You’re saving me from complete mutilation!” You both laughed, though it faded quickly and you found yourself lingering at the door. 

“Goodnight, yn,” Jeonghan said softly. 

You take a step back, returning his smile. “Goodnight, future husband.” You closed the door on him, though you didn’t miss how he rolled his eyes. 

He waited for you to get inside before he finally drove off, headlights flashing in the windows then disappearing as you watched him drive down the street. You stayed standing by the window for too long, staring at the street long after his car was gone. 

.

.

You found yourself in the front seat of his car again, clutching the piece of paper. It felt… flimsy. You turned to Jeonghan, who had been about to start the engine. 

“That was ridiculously easy, right?” 

He shrugged. You agreed to dress up today, and Jeonghan had decided to wear a suit which made it very hard for you to look at him and think properly but you were doing your best to ignore that. 

“It’s not like it’s a green card marriage,” he said, turning the key and starting the engine. “Plus we’ve been friends for so long I don’t think they’d be able to ask anything we couldn’t answer.” 

You sat back against the chair, still unsatisfied for some reason. A courthouse marriage wasn’t exactly romantic, but you reminded yourself this relationship wasn’t romantic. Still, you thought being married would feel different. 

“So, what do married people do?” You asked. 

“Seatbelt,” Jeonghan said, tapping your leg. You ignored the shivers that traveled down your spine. He turned back to the wheel, though he didn’t put the car into gear until your seatbelt clicked. “I don’t know, get groceries? Run errands?” 

“We do that all the time anyways,” you said, frowning. 

“You do remember that this is a fake marriage, right?” Jeonghan asked. 

You rolled your eyes. “Yes, I am well aware of that. I just thought that this might feel… I don’t know, different.” You held up the piece of paper. “Even if it isn’t actually real, this still legally links us together and that’s kind of monumental.” 

“Are you getting nostalgic on me already?” 

You stared out the window, watching the trees pass by. Maybe you were. You couldn’t help but remember when Jeonghan first got his license, six months before you could get yours. You spent so much time in the passenger seat of that rundown vehicle, seeing him nearly every day. 

You both had grown up. Well, Jeonghan had, with an actual adult job (complete with benefits!). You were still working a part time job and struggling to figure out what you wanted and spending every day terrified that you might never find out what that is. Sitting in his front seat, you wondered if you would ever know. 

“I don’t know,” you finally said. “I just want to do something fun today.” 

“Don’t tell me you want to scam another poor restaurant,” Jeonghan said. “We’ll never be able to go there again.” 

“I didn’t say anything like that!” You said. 

“Then what is something fun?” Jeonghan asked. It was a Monday and he had gone straight from work to the courthouse. You realized he was probably tired and wanted to go home and be done with the day. 

“Laying in bed and taking a nap?” 

“We’ve been married for like twenty minutes and you’re already trying to get me in bed?” Jeonghan whistled. “That’s low even for you.” 

You smacked his arm. “I literally said taking a nap.” 

“Well if you’re not going to suggest anything, then I will,” he said. You frowned at him, but it quickly turned into a grin when you heard his suggestion. 

An hour later you were wearing cheap plastic armor and held a phaser to your chest. You glared at Jeonghan from across the room. He raised his eyebrows and you knew he was saying, good luck with that. 

It had been a little concerning how quickly you and Jeonghan were able to round up friends for laser tag. It was always a struggle to find a date to meet up with everyone but a random Monday afternoon and a last minute invitation somehow managed to bring over half your friends together. 

On your team was Seungcheol, Jun, and Chan, while Jeonghan had Mingyu, Jihoon, and Soonyoung. A fair enough split, in your opinion (you learned years ago that as long as Jeonghan and Seungcheol weren't on the same team it was fair). Chan and Jihoon would both have to prove themselves, the only two invited that hadn’t been friends with you and Jeonghan since high school.  

The “safety instructor,” a kid that couldn’t be older than seventeen, finally finished explaining the rules and the group split up on opposite sides of the arena to begin the battle. 

“Okay, listen up,” Seungcheol said, rounding the group up. His competitiveness hadn’t changed since high school. “I’ll die before I lose to Mingyu and Jeonghan. Keep your eye out for them, Soonyoung is Soonyoung, we don’t have to worry about him, but Jihoon is a wildcard and I don’t trust him, he looks like he’s wielded a gun before.”

“Is it really this deep?” Chan asked you a little too loud. Seungcheol rounded on him. 

“Listen up kid,” he said, ignoring Chan’s protest that he was only a couple years younger. “This is about honor. Respect. This is war, and I’ll be damned if I lose.” 

“Did he watch Braveheart last night or something?” Jun whispered in your ear. You shrugged, adrenaline already pumping through your veins. It had been so long since you’ve gotten to do something fun. 

“Alright, yn and I should split up since we’re the only ones who have a chance at taking down Jeonghan, so Chan, you’re with me, Jun either stick to yn or find high ground.” 

Chan yelped as Seungcheol dragged him to the far entrance. “Why am I with you?” 

“I don’t trust you not to die,” Seungcheol said. 

“Dude, we met today,” Chan said. 

You glanced between Jun and the bickering boys. “Should I save him?” 

He shrugged. “He looks like he can handle it.” 

“You’re still mad that he finished the popcorn when I invited him to movie night.” 

“If he can handle Seungcheol’s wrath he can be invited again,” Jun said. “Otherwise I don’t trust your ‘work friend.’” 

“Oh my god, I can have friends other than you guys,” you said, pushing him to the middle entrance. “Go be a sniper, I don’t want to deal with your sulking more than I’ve already had to put up with.” 

Jun laughed, letting himself get pushed into position as you took the opposite side, already mapping out your plan of attack. From the little map they gave you, it hadn’t changed much since the last time you had been here, though it had been years. You smiled, remembering the last time you had dominated the competition. Jeonghan had been on your team that time, and there was a huge argument about whether that team was unfair. 

You took a deep breath as the countdown dropped to five seconds. You had a reputation to uphold and a husband to destroy. 

Three. 

Two. 

One. 

You were moving as soon as the doors opened, blinking through the machine-generated fog and advancing down the right side of the arena, to where you knew an outpost would be. You could hear Jun’s light footsteps in the catwalks above you, though they soon vanished as he turned to the middle of the map. 

You peered into the darkness, looking for any flash of the green light that signified your enemy but found nothing. You got to the tower, pulsing white light that you shot down before it could damage you. Your armor blinked once, twice, then faded, and a two minute timer began counting down on your phaser. Two minutes of invisibility. You grinned. 

You crept along the side, taking extra care to be quiet. Finally, you caught your first glimpse of a victim, a flash of green light a few paths to your left. You ducked behind a pillar to follow, stepping out and taking a shot. Your phaser buzzed with victory, and you darted back before your victim could spot you and expose your invisibility. 

You moved quickly, glancing at your phaser to see you had gotten Soonyoung. An easy kill, but it made you smile anyways. You were nearly across the arena now, and decided to climb up and see if you could get a better angle for the arena. You knew there was another outpost nearby and heard the unmistakable clanging of someone fighting it. After a couple seconds it stopped, and you guessed it meant someone else had a power too. 

From above, you spotted another green light, taking the shot before it could vanish and feeling the satisfaction of another buzz. You heard Jihoon curse and smiled, ducking behind a wall before he could see you. 

“Fuck you, yn,” he said. 

“Language!” You called back, laughing as he cursed at you again. 

You started to cross a bridge but froze when Jun appeared from the other side, pointing behind him. 

“Jeonghan has unlimited ammo,” he said, ducking behind a barrier. You step behind a wall just as Jeonghan comes into sight. He didn’t see you, but he must have known you were nearby from Jun’s warning. 

“Oh yn,” he called in a sing-song voice. “I know you’re out there.” You still had a chance. He knew you were there, but he didn’t know that you were invisible (for 30 more seconds), which meant he was looking for a blue light. You figured it would give you a couple seconds of surprise and maybe you’d get a good shot off before him. 

You heard Jun groan as he got shot and knew this was your only chance. You stepped out raising your phaser before you spotted him, aiming at nothing- nothing- nothing- then at the bright green light at the end of his phaser as he turned to face you. 

You didn’t hesitate to pull the trigger. 

You felt the buzz of your phaser and cheered as Jeonghan’s armor blinked. 

“All these years and you still can’t beat me,” you said with a laugh, crossing the bridge to gloat over him. He rolled his eyes. 

“I can’t believe you’re using the same strategies,” he said. You passed him, walking backwards because you didn’t dare turn your back on him. 

“And yet they still work!” You grinned, until you felt a new buzz, your armor blinking. You whipped around, finally finding Jihoon standing below you with a smirk. 

“Oh fuck you,” you said. You ignored the laughter you heard from both Jihoon and Jeonghan, retreating to hide until your armor recovered and you were back in the game. 

You could hear Seungcheol and Chan bickering from somewhere to your right, followed by Mingyu’s shout as they apparently managed to take him down. Once your armor was glowing blue again, you ventured out, taking extra care to be aware of your surroundings. You stayed on the floor, making sure to check above you for any green light. 

You were able to take out Soonyoung two more times, Mingyu once, and you nearly got Jihoon a second time but Jun got to him first. Though there was only a minute and a half of the game left, you were determined to catch Jeonghan one more time, listening for his laugh, then for his coughing as the fog machines billowed out giant clouds. 

You were all the way around to the entrance you had come in through, the fog making it difficult to see any farther than a couple feet in front of you, which seemed like a safety hazard to you. You moved slowly, trying to pick out any light in the darkness. 

“Hands up.” His voice came from behind you. You cursed, raising your hands in the air. “Turn around.” 

“Just shoot me already,” you said. 

“I want to see your face when I beat you,” he said. “Come on.” 

You turned to face Jeonghan, rolling your eyes at his satisfied smile. “Are you going to shoot me yet?” 

“No, I’m going to enjoy this moment,” he said. You knew he was running down the clock so that you had less time to get revenge. It didn’t make it any less annoying. 

“You’d really shoot me?” You gave him your best betrayed look. “When we were married today? Only a few hours ago?” 

“Save it, you didn’t hesitate when you shot me,” he said, phaser trained at your chest where the blue light gleamed. You caught a glimpse of something behind him, a flash of blue light. 

“I regretted that,” you said, stifling a laugh. “Give me a chance to redeem myself.” 

Jeonghan paused and for a moment you thought he was actually considering it, eyes turning soft. “Fat chance-” 

His armor buzzed and flashed. 

“Who the-”

You bursted into laughter with Seungcheol as Jeonghan turned to face him. You had caught a glimpse of him while begging for your life and somehow managed to keep your face straight until he was in range. Chan trailed behind him, smiling but looking slightly concerned at the pure glee that you and Seungcheol shared. 

Jeonghan glared at you, turning the corner without a word as you high-fived Seungcheol. 

“I owe you,” you said. 

“Ready to hunt down the rest of them?” He cocked his head to the arena. “We still have a minute.” 

“Sure, I could go for a new record with Soonyoung,” you said. 

“Take the right side again, Chan go up and meet up with Jun, I’ll take the left,” Seungcheol said. Chan saluted him, though you didn’t miss him shaking his head as he climbed the stairs. He’d fit right in. 

You got Mingyu one more time just before the timer ran out, then all of the lights on your armor flickered and turned off, the arena lights turning on. You grinned at him, bumping your shoulder into his. 

“You nearly got me that time,” you said. 

“Whatever,” he said. “I still don’t think it’s fair that you got to team with Seungcheol.” 

“Would you rather me and Jeonghan were together again?” 

Mingyu hesitated. When you turned to face him, his brow was furrowed. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“You and Jeonghan are really married?” 

You held up your left hand, gold band still sitting. You hadn’t taken it off since the night he proposed. “Apparently.” 

Mingyu was quiet as you walked beside him, still frowning. 

“Okay, spill.” 

“Spill?” 

“Whatever’s wrong,” you said. “Clearly you don’t approve of me and Jeonghan, so tell me why.” 

“It’s complicated,” he said with a sigh. You stopped him just before the exit. 

“Jeonghan said it was fine, but if it’s messing up something in his life, I want to know.” You waited until he met your eyes. “He’s my best friend, you know I wouldn’t want to do anything that hurts him.” Mingyu stared at his feet and didn’t answer you. 

“Is there someone else? Someone he should be dating for real?” You were surprised at how difficult it was to say, the words leaving a foul taste in your mouth. 

Mingyu tilted his head. “Something like that.” 

It was your turn to frown. Jeonghan had dated plenty of people before and it had never bothered you. You even liked most of them, until things inevitably went wrong. Why did the idea of him having feelings for someone feel so… wrong? 

“Oh.” 

“Are you lost?” You heard Seungcheol shout. You followed Mingyu out, trying to find your smile again. Even when you saw your name at the top of the leaderboard, it was hard to really smile. 

“As expected,” you forced yourself to gloat over Jeonghan, dropping beside him on the bench. He was taking off his armor, and didn’t react to your shoulder pressed against his.  

“You’ll get ‘em next time, champ,” you said, patting his knee. He shook his head, watching Seungcheol and Mingyu argue. 

“Hey,” you said. He turned to face you, and maybe it was the way the sunlight filtering through the windows made him glow or maybe it was just the way he looked at you, but you forgot what you were going to say. 

“What is it?” He asked with a little frown. 

You blinked, trying to push the weird feelings away. “You’re a simp.” 

Jeonghan scoffed. “Since when?” 

“Since you had an easy shot and let me live,” you said. “Seriously, marriage has made you soft.” 

“You think that’s why I didn’t shoot?” He asked. He laughed at your frown. “Oh, yn,” he said, throwing an arm over your shoulder and pulling you close to him. “You may have won the game and you may have beaten me, but you betrayed your husband, and for that you at least owe me dinner.” 

“You’re so full of it,” you said, but you didn’t push him off. “You would have executed me.” 

“I’m hurt,” he said, patting his chest. “You shot me, right here. It still hurts, I’d never do that to you!” 

You rolled your eyes but you leaned into his embrace, tucking your head onto his shoulder. You remembered what Mingyu said, about his heart belonging to someone else and it sent a pang through your heart. Whoever that person was, they were going to be very lucky. Once you got out of the way. 

.

.

Your teeth hurt. Actually, your whole face ached. You struggled to open your eyes, finally managing to pry them open only to squint them closed because the lights were so bright. 

“Ah, you’re awake,” a calm voice said. You frowned at the blurry shape standing over you. “I’ll get your pick-up person.” The nice voice disappeared, leaving you to blink alone. 

They weren’t gone for long, returning with another figure that was familiar. 

“Jeonghan!” You tried to say, except there was gross stuff in your mouth making it difficult to make sounds. 

“Hey toothless,” he said, stopping beside you. He glanced at the nice-voice, who you were pretty sure was some sort of nurse since they were wearing bright green scrubs, then picked up your hand and held it. “How are you feeling?” 

“Mouf hurt,” you said. Jeonghan laughed, squeezing your hand. 

“We’ll get out of here and pick up your prescription, how’s that sound?” 

You nodded. You couldn’t tell if the tingly feeling spreading through your body was the anesthesia wearing off or from Jeonghan beside you. You stared at him, studying his face, eyebrows, nose, jawline, everything. Had he always been so handsome? 

You didn’t turn away when he caught you staring. He seemed to think it was funny, smiling down at you. Since when was his smile so sweet? 

The nice-voice nurse returned. “Okay, yn, you should be good to go, we just have a little paperwork for your husband to fill out.” 

“Huthband?” You tried to say. “I don’t have a huthband.” 

The nurse laughed. “I’m sure you can’t forget marrying someone like him.” You followed their finger, pointing at Jeonghan. 

You frowned at him for a moment, then laughed. “Jeonghan ithn’t my huthband.” 

You frowned at him as he shook his head, patting your hair. “I guess we know how well you handle anesthesia, dear.” 

Dear? You kept staring at him but the nurse handed him paperwork and he seemed to think that meant it was the end of the conversation. He let go of your hand to fill out, which made you frown even more, reaching a hand to rest on his arm. He glanced at you and shook his head at your pout. 

He scribbled on the paper, frowning a couple times but finally put the clipboard down, turning to you. He smiled at you, a warm, fond smile. Is that how married people looked at each other? You tried to return it but your swollen, gauze-filled mouth made it impossible. 

“Let’s go,” he said, returning his hand to yours. You let him pull you to your feet, leaning into his shoulder until the dizziness passed, and then you kept leaning on him because it felt nice. He didn’t protest, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and gently massaging your shoulder as you left the suite. He handed the clipboard to the nurse with a smile. 

“I see you’ve remembered your husband,” they said, winking at you. You glanced between Jeonghan and the nurse. You remembered Jeonghan—he was the boy who sat next to in second grade that never shut up about the World’s Worst Jokes (literally, it was his favorite book), the boy you finally decided to call a friend in fifth grade after he helped you catch up your schoolwork because you missed a week with strep throat. He was the boy you were no longer allowed to pair up in assignments with in middle school after you were dubbed the ‘demon duo’ by all your teachers (it was affectionate, but the Lollipop Incident of seventh grade could not be forgotten), the boy you followed around all through high school because your senses of humor just matched. 

You remembered spending countless university nights beside that boy as he kept you awake until your essays were finished, more than once saving you from the back pain of sleeping slumped over a table by forcing you into a bed. That boy had been your roommate, until a year and a half ago, spending nearly every second at your side, bickering with you about how many holes are in a straw and holding you while you cried over everything from bad grades to heartbreaks. 

You thought you would definitely remember marrying that boy. 

“I couldn’t ever forget him,” you finally said. You wished your words weren’t turned to mush by your mouth. You looked up at Jeonghan, who was smiling down at you again, squeezing your shoulder. 

He thanked the nurse, pulling you outside. You waited until the doors shut before lifting your head off his shoulder. “Are you sure we're married?” 

He laughed at your frown. “Last time I checked.” He lifted your left hand and held it with his own, matching gold bands knocking against each other. 

“Such boring rings,” you said. It was a lie; you loved the simplicity. It just seemed right for you and Jeonghan. 

“I’m never going to let you live this down,” Jeonghan muttered with a crooked smile. He walked you all the way to his car, letting go of your shoulder to open the car door for you. It was strange to see him opening doors for you, but maybe you really had forgotten dating and marriage, and maybe this was normal. You fell into the seat, exhausted from the short walk, barely working up the energy to pull your seatbelt across your shoulders. 

You felt fingers brush against your forehead and you opened your eyes to see Jeonghan brushing a strand of hair out of your eyes. He held your gaze, fingers lingering on your brow. 

“Get some rest,” he whispered. “I’ll pick up your prescription and take you home.” You nodded, the movement finally causing him to drop his fingers. You could feel the ghost of their light touch against your brow, just as you could still feel his fingers laced with yours, even as you watched him drive, both hands gripping the steering wheel. 

You closed your eyes, resting your heavy head against the seat. You were not going to fall asleep, your mouth hurt too much for that, but for once Jeonghan seemed to be avoiding the potholes so it was at least a smooth ride. You wanted to ask him about your marriage, about how you could forget crossing the line between friends and lovers. 

Somehow when you opened your eyes, he was on your street. You definitely remembered him moving out, so why was he taking you back here? 

“If we’re married, why are we going back here?” You asked as he pulled into the driveway. 

Jeonghan fought another smile. “Are you asking me to move in together?” 

“No, I’m asking why married people don’t live together,” you said. He left the car, walking around to your side and helping you out. You leaned on him again as he walked you to the door, feeling exhausted. 

“Maybe we don’t have a happy marriage,” he said nonchalantly. He pulled the keys, your keys, out of his pocket and let himself in, half-carrying you to your room. “I mean, you literally forgot we are married.” 

You shook your head as you crawled under your blankets. “No, I don’t think so. I’m really happy we’re married.” 

He pulled the blankets over you, tucking you in. “Why’s that?” He paused over you, dark hair falling into his eyes again as he looked down on you. 

“I really like you,” you said. He leaned over you, and all you wanted was to melt into those beautiful brown eyes, but your eyelids were getting heavier with each heartbeat. The last thing you remembered was Jeonghan pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. 

.

.

You watched Jeonghan at the bar. He was getting drinks but he had been stopped by some girl whose name you couldn’t quite remember. You turned to look at the dance floor; Jeonghan could talk to whoever he wanted, you didn’t have any right to care. 

The rest of your friends were scattered around the dance floor at different tables, being normal humans and socializing. Mingyu had tried to drag you into a conversation, but Eun Woo was at the table and there was no way you would deign to be anywhere near that man. 

However, that left you alone at the table your group had claimed when you arrived together, watching everyone else having fun. Names floated around your head, occasionally matching the faces of the people wandering around. Thankfully, no one you didn’t know came to say hi. 

Just last year you had been excited to go to your first high school reunion, tracking down all of your friends and making sure they kept the night free. That had been before you realized everyone else had grown up and gotten adult jobs, leaving you and your part time job to feel tiny and more than a little bit like a failure. 

Your friends got their revenge and dragged you to this year’s reunion. The worst part was, you were stuck. Because of the incident last year (which had nothing to do with you and Jeonghan and the intercom system), your former student body president (turned CEO) decided it would be best to host your reunion at a hotel under the guise of promoting safe drinking habits. They’d booked rooms for everyone and even had free (cheap) beer. You’d be impressed, if you weren’t suspicious that half the funds were from the embezzling scandal you’d heard his company had gotten caught in. 

You found Seungcheol chatting with a couple members of the baseball team. You debated joining him, but they were probably reminiscing about the games they’d played and you’d only gone to a few, so you doubted you’d be able to really contribute to the conversation. 

Seokmin and Soonyoung hadn’t left the dance floor since you arrived, though that surprised no one. The only difference between high school and now was that the alcohol in their system was legal. You were much too sober to think about joining them. Plus it had only been a couple weeks since your surgery, and though you were technically allowed to do physical activity, you used any excuse you could to avoid the chaos of Seokmin and Soonyoung on the dance floor. They were a hazard to society. 

You stood, seeing Jun walking towards his ex, but Mingyu roped him into his conversation. You glared at Eun Woo, as you were now standing awkwardly. 

A quick glance told you that Jeonghan was still stuck in line at the bar, still chatting with the same girl. Not that it bothered you. Maybe you should join him. 

You took a step, but a voice made you freeze. “Who left you all alone?” You spun, finding Minghao standing in front of you, hands buried in the pockets of his jacket. He managed a nonchalant expression until you threw yourself in his arms. 

“You came?” You half shouted with your arms around his neck. 

He laughed, catching you before you toppled him over. “Miss me?” 

“Don’t even joke! Of course I did! You left me with a bunch of idiots!” You took a step back, though you didn’t let go of his hands. Minghao. He’d gone abroad after high school and never came back, leaving a hole in the friend group that could never be replaced. Mingyu liked to call it losing the only braincell you had ever known. 

He caught your left hand, lifting it and raising his eyebrows at the gold band. “I will confess that part of the reason I came was to see if the rumor Seokmin was raving about was true.” 

You let go of his hands, leaning against your seat. “Yeah… A lot has happened since you left.” 

“Clearly.” Minghao raised his eyebrow. He scanned the room, picking out your friends, pausing at Jeonghan at the bar before turning back to you. “It’s good, though. I’m, and don’t you dare make fun of me, happy for you.” 

You frowned. “What are you talking about?” 

“I mean, Jeonghan has things figured out. Like, he has the stability that you need, he’s got a real-life job and everything, and he’s just good for you.” 

What had Seokmin told Minghao? Did he think you were married for real? 

“I’m not saying that you need to change or anything,” Minghao said quickly. “I just think it’s good for you to be with someone that isn’t… figuring out his life still.” 

“Yeah,” you said. You slid into your chair, trying not to think about how even though Minghao lived thousands of miles away, he could still see you struggling. 

“I can’t believe you didn’t invite me to the wedding,” he said, still standing beside you.  

“Oh, we just had a courthouse thing,” you said. You don’t know why you didn’t tell him the full truth. “It wasn’t a big thing.” 

“Well, when you have the real party, I better be invited.” 

Despite feeling like your heart had been crumpled into a ball, you rolled your eyes. “Minghao, you’ll be my best man.” 

He nodded. “I’d better be.” You managed a few more minutes of small talk before he slipped away to find the rest of your friends. 

His words rang through your head. Maybe you really shouldn’t be with Jeonghan, fake or not. Minghao was right, he had his life figured out; as much as he complained about his job, you knew he loved the kids and he was going to spend the rest of his life teaching. You could barely decide on what to wear every morning. Figuring out your future was something you just weren’t ready for. 

You liked Jeonghan. You knew that. You remembered your anesthesia induced dream, where you managed to tell him your feelings, the soft kiss he placed on your forehead, but it was just a dream. He didn’t feel the same way, no matter how much you wished it could be true. There was someone else he pined for, and if it was anything like the feelings that were threatening to overwhelm you now, you couldn't help but pity him. 

Your feelings didn’t matter, you decided as you watched Minghao join Soonyoung and Seokmin with a backflip in the middle of the dance floor. You wouldn’t mess up Jeonghan’s life any further. You would ask for a divorce. Tomorrow. 

Jeonghan finally returned, setting a drink in front of you and laying an arm over your shoulders. “Bear with me,” he whispered into your ear, lips almost brushing against your ear. “I can’t remember her name but she’s been flirting with me all night and even when I told her we’re married, she wouldn’t leave me alone, so, you’re stuck with me for the rest of the night.” 

You nodded. You hoped you were looking serenely on your friends, but Jeonghan gently tapped your arm until you turned to face him. “What’s wrong?” 

You shrugged. “Tired.” It wasn’t technically a lie. You were tired, but that wasn’t why you didn’t want to be here. 

He pulled his chair a little closer, resting his chin on his shoulder. You knew he was just putting on a show to drive away girl-whose-name-was-a-mystery and that the way he was looking at you now wasn’t real. It didn’t make it any easier to bear his gaze. 

He tilted his head to the side and smiled, eyes twinkling with the familiar glint that you knew meant trouble. “You want to get out of here?” 

You felt your face flush. “Stop joking around.” 

He cocked his head and you followed it to where the girl (whose name you thought started with a S) was still eyeing Jeonghan. “If we disappear into a hotel room for a couple hours maybe she’ll get the point.” He’s right, but you can’t stop yourself from imagining what he was implying, making your blush deepen. 

“You said you’re tired, you can just hide up there for the rest of the night if you want,” he said, apparently not noticing your embarrassment. “Or you can sit here and avoid everyone for the rest of the night and we can pretend like that girl isn’t eye-fucking me.” 

“Let’s go,” you said, standing. Jeonghan took your hand in his, pressing a kiss to your hand that sent shivers up your arm before tugging you across the room, playing the part of a lovesick husband perfectly. You weren’t as good, but you kept your eyes on him and found your smile wasn’t as hard to force as you expected, letting him pull you back into his embrace as you passed through the doors. You cast one glance at S, who looked rather offended. You grinned at her as the doors swung shut, winking even though she probably couldn’t see it from across the room. 

Though the show was just for her, it wasn’t until you were alone in the elevator that he finally disentangled himself from you. “Looks like it went pretty well.” 

You nodded, staring at your feet rather than facing Jeonghan at your side or in the mirrored walls of the elevator. “She looked sufficiently shut up.” 

The doors dinged open and you followed Jeonghan. “We’re rooming together, by the way.” Seungcheol had been in charge of the rooms, setting everyone with roommates and even dropping off bags. There was no reason to think that he would mess anything up. 

No reason until now. 

“There’s only one bed,” you said in a tiny voice. The door clicked shut behind you, Jeonghan at your side. You stood in the hotel room, bathroom door to your left, closet to your right, king sized bed right in the middle. “I’m going to kill Seungcheol.” 

“Actually, it was probably Mingyu,” Jeonghan said, sounding not nearly as unsettled as he should have been. “He called about our rooms and probably mentioned we were married. People I don’t even know were talking to me about it.” 

“I’m going to kill them both.” 

“It’ll be fine,” he said. “It’s not like it’s the first time.” He’s right, you had shared a bed before, when you were thirteen, and there were four other people shoved onto the bed because having twenty people in one sleepover meant you slept where there was space. “If it really bothers you, I’ll sleep on the floor, or crash with Mingyu and Seungcheol.” 

You shook your head. “No, it’s fine, they’ll just make fun of me, and you’re right, it’s not like it's the first time.” No, it was nothing like then. Your heart didn’t pound when he was next to you back then, you never looked at him and wished what was fake could be real. 

You flopped onto the bed, legs dangling off the side as you laid on your back. Your heart was beginning to ache thinking about Jeonghan, so you thought about what Minghao said instead. Most of the time you could pretend you were okay with watching everyone you knew move on with their lives and grow into actual adults, but a night like tonight made you feel small. Insignificant. You were yn. Just yn, and normally that was enough, but not tonight. 

You felt the bed dip as Jeonghan sat next to you. “Do you want to talk about it?” Of course he knew something was wrong. You turned your head towards him, studying his frown which had concern etched into every crease on his forehead. 

You didn’t think you were choked up, but when you said, “No,” in a tiny voice, tears were suddenly threatening to spill onto your cheeks. You turned your head away from Jeonghan, sure that you would fold under his gaze and start crying. 

“You should just go back down,” you said. “I’ll be fine.” 

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said, voice gentle but firm. “You’re stuck with me.” You felt a tear slip away, angrily wiping it off the side of your face. “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but I won’t leave you alone, yn. I—I won’t.” 

Why? Why did he have to be so kind, and sweet, and loving, and the perfect best friend, fake fiancee, fake husband? Why did he make it so hard to do anything but love him? 

Love wasn’t fair, you always knew that, but it felt cruel now. You couldn’t stop the tears now, turning fully on your side though it was too late to hide them from Jeonghan. He slid next to you, pulling you off the mattress and into his arms, and you knew it was dumb to sob into the arms of the very person that was making you cry but you did it anyway because maybe that’s what you were doomed to suffer. You clung to him, even as your heart was breaking. 

.

.

You woke up to the sun in your eyes. You frowned as you opened your eyes, blinking against the light. Usually you closed your blinds so that you could sleep in. It took another moment for you to remember that you were in a hotel room, not your bed at home. That didn’t explain why Jeonghan was wrapped around you, his arm acting as your pillow. Your frown deepened as you met his eyes, finding him staring down at you. 

“Why are we cuddling?” 

He snorted. “I should be asking you that, since I clearly remember telling you this is my side of the bed last night.” You lifted your head off of him enough to see that you had indeed crossed onto his side. But he wasn’t innocent either, with one arm tucked under your head and the other wrapped around your waist, holding your bodies together. You decided not to mention it because you didn’t want him to let go just yet. 

“How long have you been up?” You asked with a yawn. 

He shrugged, shoulder lifting your head. “I don’t know, maybe twenty minutes?” 

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” You said, gently slapping his chest. 

“You looked peaceful,” he said. You looked at him, peering down at you with a soft smile. The morning sunlight that fell through the window cast a halo around him, making his dark hair glow. There was something in his gaze, something you had seen so many times but suddenly felt new, and for the first time you let yourself wonder what it would be like if your feelings weren’t unrequited. Maybe you were still dazed from waking up, but you thought maybe it wouldn’t be very different from how he was with you now. 

“Jeonghan,” you said slowly. “Mingyu mentioned something to me.” 

“Oh boy.” 

“About you.” Your heart was pounding as you forced the next words out. “About how there’s someone that you want to date. For real.” 

He was quiet, though he didn’t break your gaze. Finally, he said, “Yes.” 

It took all of the courage you had in you to say, “Who?” 

He stared at you and because it was Jeonghan, you knew he was trying to figure out what to say. You could practically see the gears turning in his head as he tried to get the words out. The longer it took the more your heart sank. 

“We should get divorced,” you said, turning your head to stare at the window, the wall, anything but those damn eyes. “Teeth have been successfully removed, I’m not in debt, and there’s no other reason to stay married.” Especially not when there’s someone else. You couldn’t quite bring yourself to say it. 

You peeked at Jeonghan and found you couldn’t decipher the frown on his face. It felt wrong to not know what he was thinking. But maybe it was your own fault. You had been keeping things from him yourself, bottling up the emotions and pretending the love you felt wasn’t head over heels idiocy. You couldn’t be hurt that he was so far away when you had built the distance yourself. 

“I love you,” you whispered. “I’m in love with you. I know that there’s someone else, and I’m not saying this to try to win you over or anything, but I think you should know. That I love you.” 

 You’ve seen Jeonghan speechless three times in your life. The first was in elementary school when he was wrongfully accused of stealing candy from the teacher, the first time he found out there were consequences for his “harmless” pranks. The second was when his girlfriend dumped him, the only time in your entire life that he didn’t tell you what happened. This was the third time, opening his mouth and trying to answer but unable to get any words out. 

“I’m an idiot, I know,” you said. “Who falls in love with their fake husband?” Even as the final stake was driven into your heart, you tried to joke. You started to push off his chest, fully prepared to run away and avoid Jeonghan for the rest of your life, but his arm tightened around your waist, pulling you even closer. 

“It’s you,” he sputtered. “There’s no one else, it’s you that I want to be with, that I want to date, that I want to marry, one day. Yn, I have loved you for so long, I don’t know what to do, so please, just give me a second?” 

It was your turn to be speechless. “It’s me?”  

He laughed, face finally breaking into a wide smile. “Of course it’s you, who else could it be?” 

“Maybe one of those moms that Mingyu says are always flirting with him, or one of your coworkers, or anyone that’s ever met you because, seriously, how could anyone not be in love with you?” You rested your head back onto his shoulder. 

“Well, it’s you. It’s always you.” He leaned a little closer, brushing his nose against yours. You swallowed, remembering your first kiss with him. You wondered if your second kiss would be as good. 

“Can I kiss you?” You asked when he didn’t move any closer. He nodded, though the movement caused your lips to brush against one another. You leaned into it, arm snaking from his chest to his neck, feeling his hand digging into your waist, trying to pull you impossibly closer. You don’t know how long the kiss was, feeling like a lifetime had passed when you finally pulled away. 

“Not quite as good as the first time, but it’ll do,” you said, grinning at Jeonghan’s frown. “You have stinky breath.” 

“You have stinky breath,” he said, “But if you’re talking about the restaurant, that wasn’t our first kiss.” 

You thought back, trying to remember any other kiss. There was none during your fake marriage (other than the anesthesia-induced dream that you were beginning to think might have been real) and nothing had ever happened before that. Except… 

“When we were twelve?” You laughed. “That does not count.”

“A kiss is a kiss,” he said. “In fact, I remember you saying it was your first kiss.”

You slapped his chest. “It was your first kiss too!” 

“So you admit it!” Jeonghan was laughing, clinging to you as you pretended to push him away. He wrapped both arms around your waist, tucking his chin onto your shoulder. He waited until you met his eyes. “I love you.” 

You kissed his nose. “I love you, too.” You didn’t run away when he pulled you close again, sliding cold fingers to the back of your neck and pressing his forehead to yours. You were certain he was going to kiss you again. 

“We really do need to get divorced, though,” you said, laughing when he sighed. “I want to do things in the right order, date you for real.” You kissed him again, just because you could, watching the smile quickly return to his face when you pulled away. 

“I do want to marry you, one day,” you said, resting your head against the pillow for the first time. You held up your left hand, studying the way the gold caught the morning light and seemed to glow. 

“You better not say that in front of Joshua,” Jeonghan said. “He’s had our wedding planned since he found out I was in love with you.” 

“Wait, he knows?” You frowned at him. “How long have you been in love with me?” 

Jeonghan’s eyes wandered to the ceiling as he scratched the back of his head. “Been in love? No idea. Too long. But when I realized, we were still living together, and ever since then I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you.” 

“That’s why you moved out?” You wrapped your arm around his waist, tucking yourself onto his side. 

He nodded. “I needed to know if I was actually in love or just spending too much time with you.” He played with your hair. “I am in love with you. And I’m sorry I was too much of a coward to say it sooner.” 

You found yourself staring at the ring again. It was such a simple thing, just a band of gold that you and Jeonghan had agreed on with the intent to return it when the ruse was up. You really had only gotten them because you were worried someone might call out the insurance fraud. 

“I don’t want to take it off,” you confessed. 

“Then don’t,” Jeonghan said softly. When you looked at him, he was without his usual smirk, eyes serious. 

“Five minutes and you’re already proposing?” You asked. 

“Well, I already got you into bed,” he said with a grin. “But seriously, I don’t want to take off my ring. I’m going to marry you, someday.” 

“I think that sounds nice,” you said, tucking your head back onto his chest. “So, Joshua is our wedding planner? Do we really trust him?” 

“You know, if you told me a year ago, I would have said ‘fuck no,’ but he’s dedicated. He has a pinterest and everything, a color scheme, a list of the best rated bakeries and catering services, photographers, videographers, venues, anything you can think of, he has it. I can’t prove it, but I swear he has a date reserved already.” Jeonghan continued to describe his friend’s vision for your wedding, but you found yourself staring at him, watching him talk. 

 Jeonghan has been by your side for most of your life, your best friend. You knew everything about him, from the way he liked his tea to his obsession with tiny utensils. Still, being friends and being lovers were two very different things. You should have been scared at how much was going to change, but in the little bubble of your hotel room and the magical glow of the morning sun, you felt nothing but hope.

a/n2: thank you for reading!!! I hope you had fun, I truly love this story <3 enjoy this meme I found after i came up with the idea and couldn’t find anywhere to throw it into

a/n3: i am incapable of letting this story go so here are some snippets of stuff that didn’t make it into the story/after the ending 1 //

GOING SEVENTEEN Ep. 22 논리나잇 Ⅲ #2 (Debate Night Ⅲ #2) "Say you invented a time machine: would you travel to the past or the future?"

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Be the Light: Pt. 3 (SeongjoongxFem!reader)

Pairing: Hongjoong x Seonghwa x Fem!reader | Side pairing(s): Ateez x Fem!reader.

Word Count: 6k

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

AU: historical!au, arranged marriage!au, royalty!au

Summary: YN has spent her entire life in service of Han Sookmyung, Queen of Hanseong. She never dreamed above her station, or that she'd ever be in reach of Sookmyung's concubines, 'The Golden Ones'. But, when secrets are brought to life, her world is turned upside-down.

Warnings: graphic descriptions of violence, heavily referenced torture (briefly), heavily referenced abuse (briefly), heavily referenced sexual abuse (briefly), enslavement, slight gaslighting, lost sibling, political drama, historical drama, joseon!au, concubine!ateez, nsfw content, virgin!reader, polyamory, polygamous, throuple, threesome m/m/f, oral sex (m. and f. receiving/giving), cunnlingus, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, virgin sex, virginity discussed.

Taglist: @scarfac3 @tunaasan @lelaleleb @sevngmin148 @meljoongiee @puppyminnnie @sunasmoke22 @kyourixr @yoongiigolden @lynnsqueendom @atinycafe @soocore @ethereally-lyann @blackbutterfly133 @ddaeing @pearltinyy @raviollirin

Part 2 < | > Part 4

***

The palace temple was built by the first King of Hanseong, one of Sookmyung’s ancestors, many years ago. Walking through the temple’s zen garden, a small pond area guarded by stone statues of gods, Hongjoong and Seonghwa did not meet anyone during their walk. Hardly anyone visited the palace temple anymore, and since Sookmyung did not care about it, the area became overgrown by wildlife and dense foliage. Both men struggled to find the path at times, and once or twice one of them ran into garden snakes. But, eventually they saw the stone and wood structure in the middle of a clearing. Hongjoong saw a stone buddha statue eroded by age and weather in front of several kneeling cushions on the ground. The place overall carried a tranquil silence that he worried might break at the slightest sound. He’d expected they’d be alone, but he’d been wrong. 

Sitting in her usual wheelchair, Queen Mother Jisoo sat with her hands folded over her lap and head bowed in prayer. On a cushion beside her was Chaewon, her handmaiden. This sudden appearance of Sookmyung’s mother raised their suspicions. The small offerings placed in front of the statue implied she visited often, and she appeared entirely at peace. Hongjoong looked at Seonghwa, and saw the caution in his eyes. They walked slowly and quietly behind the two women, taking their own cushions and sitting in silence. Hongjoong wondered how long the pair planned to be here. What if their contact backs away because he saw Jisoo and Chaewon? Then, he’d never learn of their plan. He’d considered leaving and waiting in the bushes before another figure joined them. 

Senior Advisor Choi Wonshik. He came unaccompanied this time, in his usual official robes and gat. A quick glance to them with a bow was returned before he took a cushion beside Hongjoong. Another person to scare off his contact. Hongjoong had given Seonghwa a look before Jisoo spoke first. 

“What do you pray for, Hongjoong?” 

Jisoo’s voice broke the garden’s tranquil silence, as soothing as the water falling into the pond nearby. Hongjoong and Seonghwa looked at one another, then at Wonshik, who smiled serenely with his head bowed. Chaewon showed a similar expression, not looking over at him or anyone else. He thought about what he could possibly say to Sookmyung’s mother. It’d be wrong to tell her ‘your daughter’s downfall’ out loud and to her face.

“For home,” Seonghwa said from beside him.

Hongjoong whipped his head over to him, but Jisoo spoke first. “As do all of us,” she beckoned Chaewon to stand, and the woman moved to turn her chair around and face them. The lines around her mouth and her eyes showed signs of a woman who’d laughed and lived well. Her eyes, while similar to Sookmyung, did not hold viciousness but rather warmth. 

She smiled at them both, “This country is my home. I spent many years of my life dedicated to leaving it better than when I first came into power. I pray for its safety and wellbeing every morning, afternoon, and night. I pray that the crops will be fruitful this harvest, and that we will never see another war or famine again. My prayers are the only thing left to me since my daughter was crowned queen.”

“It is the only thing many of us have left,” added Wonshik. “I pray for strength,” he told them, “And for patience. I pray that one day the dignity of The Crown is restored, and that when people see our banners, they do not cower in fear but instead feel comforted.”

“I pray for the good health of the people,” said Chaewon, “And for the protection of my daughter, YN.”

“As we should,” said Wonshik.

Suddenly everything made sense. He looked over at Chaewon, then Wonshik, then at Jisoo.

“We may speak plainly,” Jisoo declared. “I told the guards to leave this place, and this temple has been banned since Sookmyung became queen. This means you can remove those ridiculous veils and let me see your handsome faces."

Tentatively, Hongjoong and Seonghwa removed their veils and Jisoo beamed brightly at them. She examined Seonghwa first, clearly admiring his jawline and wide eyes. Hongjoong saw her nod her head in approval. 

"Just as handsome as you are intelligent," she concluded. "One might have thought you'd been sculpted by gods if they saw you." 

Seonghwa bowed his head appreciatively. She did the same with Hongjoong, studying his features closely. His cheeks blushed being observed like a painting or statue sold at auction. He looked over to Wonshik, who appeared to be doing the same from where he sat. But, it was Chaewon who spoke.

"He looks like a true prince, doesn't he, Your Majesty?" She grinned fondly. 

"No, not a prince," Jisoo said. She met his eyes when she said, "A king." 

Her words left him speechless. He eyed her closely, searching for a lie in her face. This woman is Sookmyung’s mother; her being part of a resistance against her sounded too good to be true. Hongjoong never knew Jisoo to scold or criticize her daughter. More often than not, she remained neutral and kept to herself in the palace. Seeing The Queen Mother was rarer than seeing a concubine. He couldn’t imagine her wanting to depose her own child. When she moved away, he spoke. 

“What did we meet here for?” he asked her, “To talk of prayers? Changbin’s message mentioned another heir.”

“How can that be?” Seonghwa asked after him. 

“Sookmyung has a twin sister.”

The news shocked the two men. “A twin?” Hongjoong furrowed his brow, “Where? How? If there is someone walking around with Sookmyung’s face, then they would’ve been found before now.” 

“I married King Siwon when I was nineteen-years-old,” she started. “Being the King, Siwon had a multitude of responsibilities. I only had one: to produce heirs for the throne. I’m sad to say it was the only thing I could not do. Siwon and I spent five years of our marriage trying for a child, and failing. Every pregnancy I did have never carried to term or came out ill and died or was a stillborn,” Hongjoong saw the discomfort in her face speaking about it. “I felt like a failure. I loved Siwon, and I knew how much he wanted a child, and I’d disappointed him. Those snakes at court began whispering that perhaps I was barren or I had a disease preventing me from having a healthy child. I had to do something. I knew if I failed to produce an heir, they might demand an annulment and Siwon and I would be separated forever.”

“So, what did you do?”

“I prayed,” she answered. “I prayed right here in this temple. Chaewon was there,” she lifted a hand which Chaewon took in her own, “And she prayed with me. I prayed for fertility, for a healthy child, and to bring honor to my family. The next time Siwon and I made love, a month later I was declared pregnant. I spent most of my pregnancy bed ridden, since I feared the slightest movement might make me lose the child inside me. The physicians checked on me night and day, giving me herbal teas and acupuncture treatments for the baby. It was a painful experience, but Siwon said the result would be worth the struggle.” She then said, “Then, on the fourteenth night on the eighth moon twenty-four years ago, I finally gave birth to my child. She came into the world crying and screaming, and by all accounts was perfectly healthy. I’d done my duty to my family, and I’d finally gotten the one thing I’d always wanted: a child.

“But then, I felt another pain and the physician said I was going into labor again. Out came a second girl, quieter than the first and whimpering softly, but also completely healthy. Siwon saw the crisis before anyone else did. He said he’d seen dynasties be torn apart by a succession dispute…” she paused, gulping thickly as she said, “And said one of the girls would have to go.”

“What? That’s awful,” said Seonghwa softly. “He forced you to part from your own child to avoid a war over the throne?”

“That’s what he believed he was doing,” she replied. Chaewon put both her hands on Jisoo’s shoulders, and the queen touched one of them still. “I knew he was right. My own family went through a similar struggle when my father died, and I did not wish to see my children be torn apart because of a silly chair. I told my husband I understood his reasoning, but I did not wish to be fully separated from my child. I begged him to let the girl remain in the palace; I told him we can pass her off as somebody’s else’s child, and nobody would have to know outside of a select few. The girls looked nothing alike, so it wasn’t as if anyone would suspect.” 

Hongjoong sensed the end of this story, and he couldn’t believe it at all. 

“Then, I turned to my closest friend,” she smiled up at Chaewon, “Who’d held my hand throughout my labors and been there every step of the way. She’d suffered similar fertility issues with her husband, who couldn’t produce enough sperm to give her a child. I offered the younger of the two to her,” she looked back at them, “And she’d live as Chaewon and Hyungshik’s daughter instead.”

“YN…” your name escaped his lips softly. “No, that’s…YN and Sookmyung could not be any different from one another. Firstly, their appearances alone are vastly different, and their demeanors…YN, she’s…She’s too sweet to have shared a womb with a monster like Sookmyung. How would you have kept this from other servants? Gossip spreads in this place like wildfire. If Queen Jisoo had two twins, people would have known in seconds.” 

“And if Chaewon didn’t have a child one day, was never pregnant, and suddenly produced one,” added Seonghwa, “Might raise suspicions.” 

“I told people my husband and I adopted a baby from the city orphanage,” Chaewon said. 

“And the only people in the birthing room that night were myself, the king, the physician, Chaewon and Wonshik,” Jisoo replied. “Everyone involved was sworn to secrecy. Physician Yoon passed away some years after the twins’ birth, so it was one less person. Han YN became Park YN, and she has lived as Chaewon and Hyungshik’s adopted daughter ever since. I demanded that YN and Sookmyung live side-by-side like sisters, being companions as children before YN became her handmaiden.” 

“It was His Majesty’s wish that YN be educated alongside Sookmyung,” said Wonshik. “I think when Sookmyung’s nature began to show, he started regretting his decision to separate the twins. I suggested he reveal his deception to the people, and claim YN as his daughter, but he refused. He was too proud to admit he’d made a mistake, and too optimistic that Sookmyung’s wild behavior was a phase she’d grown out of in adulthood.”

“He also feared what Sookmyung might do if she found out she had a sister,” Jisoo admitted to them. “You two saw what she’d done to those who had claims to the throne, no matter how distant. I knew telling her would put YN’s life in danger.”

“Then why are you bringing this to light now?” asked Hongjoong, appalled by their confessions. “Sookmyung is the queen. She is the most powerful person in the country. She has men who will torture and kill people at the first word, and will not hesitate to do it herself. She’ll kill YN and get away with it,” he couldn’t keep the panic out of his voice. “We can’t let anyone else know. If Sookmyung should ever think YN is-”

“-Sookmyung needs to be stopped,” Jisoo cut him off firmly. “I love my daughter. I have loved her despite her faults and wrongdoings. I did my best to raise her to be a proper lady of the realm, and prepare her for her ascension. But, I must accept the truth: my daughter is not the person I’d hoped she’d become.”

“She never was,” said Wonshik. “Ever since her girlhood, Queen Sookmyung has been vicious, manipulative, aggressive and cruel. You cannot deny this, Your Majesty,” he told her, “I told your husband that naming Sookmyung his heir would be a mistake.”

“Then who would he have named? His incompetent brother? His people-pleasing sister?” she snapped at him. “I don’t know if you remember, Senior Advisor, but my daughter had most of my husband’s family killed during the war. There are so few claimants left, and they’d be too frightened to challenge Sookmyung.” She turned back to Hongjoong, “YN is our only hope at saving this kingdom from open warfare.”

“Warfare? Do you believe the rebels are strong enough to engage?” asked Seonghwa, sitting back on his haunches and putting a hand to his chin thoughtfully. “From what I’ve always understood the rebel forces to be ill equipped and nothing more than commoners with pitchforks?”

“And that is the exact image we want Sookmyung to have,” Wonshik told him. “I can assure you that the rebels are more than farmers and fishermen. Her Majesty and I have managed to rally some supporters from the other cities. Daegu, Jeonju, and Pyongyang have all given their support to our cause, and minor lords in Gangwon-do and Jeju-do gave theirs as well. I have close friends here at court who will be on YN's side when we finally usurp Sookmyung.” 

“It will not be an easy transition, Senior Advisor,” said Seonghwa. “The people only know Sookmyung; they do not know YN. If they hear she is a twin, they may assume she shares Sookmyung’s behaviors. I don’t know if you’re aware, sir, but Sookmyung forces YN to participate in the torture and abuse a majority of the time. It’s a strange intimacy the both of them have. They might believe she’s the same or worse.”

“Which is why we must show them that YN is tender-hearted and gentle,” he replied. “Have her go into the city, meet her people and speak to them face-to-face. Reinstate the protection laws and charities Sookmyung banned or removed. She can repair damages done across the kingdom and lower taxation and those ridiculous tributes Sookmyung demands. The people will see that she is vastly different from their previous queen.”

“And she’ll have something Sookmyung has not had in the eight years of her reign,” said Jisoo. “The thing her advisors have hounded her about for years.”

“What?”

“A husband,” she eyed Hongjoong when she said this. “Not only a husband, but a husband who’d been a prince of Wonju, the rebel base and rallying point of the rebellion.”

“Should peace be restored, I’d return to Wonju to rule,” said Hongjoong. “My whole family is dead. There’d be nobody to take my place.”

“That is not entirely true, young prince,” Wonshik said. “There is your cousin, Jeongin.”

“Jeongin?” He lifted an eyebrow. Hongjoong remember his youngest cousin, and said, “He was killed by Sookmyung’s guards the day they sacked the city.”

“No, he wasn’t,” he said. “Wonju loyalists managed to smuggle him out right as the fighting began. He has been living in the countryside ever since. The people in charge of him have been preparing him to be your steward in Wonju. You would be here with YN, ruling at her side, while giving him control of Wonju in your place.” When he saw Hongjoong’s hesitation, he added, “Jeongin is the same kind, caring boy you remember. He would make a great steward.”

“And it’d rebuild the alliance Wonju and Hanseong once had,” said Jisoo. “I don’t believe Wonju’s bannermen would agree to any ties with Hanseong without a marriage pact. Even if you have not been in Wonju, the people there still stand with you, Hongjoong. You are their king. You can be my daughter’s king consort, be at her side and guide her.” She then grinned slyly, "Unless you do not want her?” 

"Of course I do," he blurted out without thinking. "I mean, I do like her. I think YN could be a good queen with the right counsel, but Sookmyung…" 

Hongjoong did not want to imagine what horrors she'd have in store for you. Sookmyung held you very close to her heart. Should she believe you're conspiring against her, she'll see it as the deepest of betrayals. Hongjoong refused to let her dangle you from a ceiling or shove you in a horrific box. He'd kill her before he let that happen. 

"What are your plans for Sookmyung?" Seonghwa asked when Hongjoong failed to respond. 

"She will be arrested and put on trial," said Wonshik 

"On what charges?"

"Crimes she committed during the war," he explained. "The murder and torture of prisoners of war,  purposefully attacking civilian towns and taking hostages are only a few named."

"You cannot arrest a queen."

"You can if she has been deposed," he corrected him. "If the council decides Sookmyung is unfit as queen, she will be replaced by YN, therefore removing her titles. Up until now, most of the officials feared retaliation from her for speaking out, but I have convinced the Head Advisors to join me."

"Is she not supposed to be there when the ruling is made? That is part of the law."

"Smart boy," Wonshik smiled at him, "But there is a loophole in this law."

"Is there?"

"The ruling monarch does not have to be present for every council meeting," he said, "And Sookmyung never comes to any of them. We always come to decisions on our own, and present them to her for approval."

"And this ruling can be made during one of these meetings," concluded Seonghwa. "She will not go quietly, you know. She will try to flee."

"We have no doubt about that," he replied. "Do not worry. I have many things in place to make sure she is detained."

"And when is this supposed to happen?"

"Tonight."

"Tonight? So soon? Why?"

"Because it is crucial we do it as soon as possible," he said. “Her Majesty will set up a place for Sookmyung to be, we will wait until she is unsuspecting, and then confront her. We will have supporters around us to step in if need be.” 

"The only person we are waiting on is you, Your Grace," Jisoo said to him gently. "Will you accept my daughter’s hand in marriage and be her king consort? Help us reunite the kingdoms and restore peace?" 

His eyes began to sting. Nobody had called him 'Your Grace' in a very long time. He didn't think he'd ever be called that again. Thinking deeply, Naeun came to mind. If he refused, everything she suffered would be for nothing. He remembered her lifeless body laying on the hard straw, broken bones protruding from her skin and her eye swollen shut. She died with the hope that one day her home will be as she remembered. Hongjoong then thought of you. As your king consort, he could be around you whenever he liked. He could speak to you, laugh with you, kiss and hold you the way he dreamed. You would be his, and you could restore the kingdom together. 

"Yes," he nodded. "Yes, I will."

For home.

****

"-He kept crying all the way back," she huffed. "I thought, being a man, that he'd have a higher tolerance for it."

You knelt at Sookmyung’s side by the low dining table. The afternoon light shone in through the open windows, their borders creating shapes on the floors. Along with it came a cool spring breeze that kissed your warm cheeks. You hated it when Sookmyung recounted her nights in the dungeon. It sickened your stomach, and only brought on more haunting visions. You laddled egg soup into a bowl for her, stirred it around a few times, then placed it in front of her. 

“You’re a woman and you have a stronger stomach than him,” she said, spooning soup into her mouth. 

“I am sure Hongjoong was only overwhelmed by experiencing so much so quickly,” you told her. You sliced toasted bread, putting a small pot of honey and jaw in front of her. “You should have started small, perhaps The Box or The Bull. You know, an act he doesn’t see but hears instead. It lets his mind fill in the blank spaces.” 

“Hm,” she mused, sipping more soup from her bowl, “I suppose you’re right. I may have been a bit hasty in my excitement to show him the chamber. I thought…” she hesitated, “I thought he might understand. I thought he’d enjoy it the way we do.” She pondered over her soup, pushing the strings of egg with her spoon. “I was wrong.” You saw her fingers grip the spoon tightly, her eyes narrowed at the bowl as it’d wronged her.

“Things like the dungeon take a bit of getting used to,” you told her. “I am sure with time, he will come to enjoy it with you.” 

You sat back on your legs and watched her eat. Your own stomach growled quietly, and rumbled in your gut the longer you lingered on the food. The porridge you’d eaten this morning had since been digested, and left you hungry again. You did not know what plans Sookmyung had for the day, since she never concerned herself with the day-to-day work of a queen. The advisors usually held meetings in the morning, then approached her with their decisions some time in the day. Having started her day late, you’re sure they’ll wait until much later to discuss any rulings they’ve made. A part of you believed the council made decisions and put them into action without Sookmyungs’s knowledge sometimes. It is not as if she cared anyway.

“You’re the only person I can share my chambers with,” she said. “You’re the only one who understands.”

Unfortunately, she was right. While Sookmyung’s ‘experiments’ and ‘delights’ haunted your dreams and churned your stomach, you’d begun to understand why she must hurt others. It made sense when you thought about it. Relishing in the pain of others gave her a gratification she couldn’t find anywhere else. Hurting them, controlling when the pain began and ended simulated a power reserved for gods, and not men. You often stood by as she forcibly shoved a man into a box full of venomous scorpions and spiders, and saw the glee in her face. You’d see her carve a man’s face off to place maggots on the red flesh, then stand to watch him writhe in agony. It was abhorrent to anyone else. It was fun for Sookmyung. The fact that her treasured flower did not revel in the torture with her must’ve upset her deeply. Hongjoong having cried at whatever befell the assassin angered Sookmyung. Watching her stir her soup around before eating it, you worried she might decide she no longer wants Hongjoong.

He may end up in The Box next. 

“Will you take him back there?” you asked her, pouring milk into a cup for her to drink.

“I wanted to, but the assassin died in the night,” she scoffed. She ate another piece of kimchi, chewing on the fermented vegetable before saying, “You should have seen her, YN. I think you would have admired her resistance.”

“Did she reveal any information to you?”

“No,” she shook her head, “Those rebel bastards should start finding smarter people. The guards say they found her climbing over the garden wall, waiting in the trees by the corner. You’d think an assassin might be smarter than that.”

“Hubris,” you said, “That was her mistake.”

She grinned, “And stupidity. What made her think she could ever possibly put her knife to my throat?”

“Pride or desperation. One of the two, I suspect.” 

Sookmyung then changed to another topic, a smirk lifting a corner of her mouth, “You never answered me last night.”

“Your Majesty?” you dug your nails into your skirt. Another test was coming, you knew it.

“I asked if San was your type.”

“I told you he was not, Your Majesty.”

Your cheeks burned recalling the previous night. You are certain Sookmyung had no intention of letting you lay with one of her flowers. She only wanted to embarrass you further in front of people. Like with her victims, she controlled your life. She’d also control any lover you took up. She’d kill them if she didn’t approve.

“YN, I cannot find you a proper husband unless you tell me,” she said irritably. She then sneered, “Or, maybe, you don’t like men at all.”

“Wha-what?” your eyes widened at the implication, and you shook your head. “Your Majesty, I assure you I do prefer me-”

“-There is nothing wrong with liking the same sex, YN. There are places all over the world where women couple with women,” she cupped your chin so you looked at her. Her thumb traced your bottom lip line as she said, “I sometimes wish I’d been the boy my father had wanted. Then, this marriage situation could be easily solved.” She moved away from her bowl to sit closer to you. You shivered as her fingers pushed stray strands of hair away, “I could marry the prettiest, loveliest woman I know, and make her mine.” When you looked away in embarrassment, she cackled, “Such a flustered little virgin. There is so much you do not know.”

“Your Majesty…”

“It’s sweet.”

The sound of footsteps made you jump away from her, but she stayed in place. A knock on the door made her grunt frustratedly.

“Go see who it is, YN,” she said, “Then tell them to leave. We have places to be later, and I need to get dressed.”

You were all too eager to go. You are not a naive child. You know women can be romantic with other women; there is nothing wrong with that. You’d seen Sookmyung nude many times over the course of your servitude, and you wouldn’t say she was ugly by any means. Any true naive person would think she is a goddess with her slender curves and hips. The only problem for you was that said woman is sadistically evil. You reached the door, and slid it open to reveal your mother and Queen Jisoo.

“Your Majesty,” you said, heat rising in your cheeks again as you bowed, “Good afternoon. What brings you here?”

“My daughter,” she replied stiffly. “Is she finally awake?”

“She is,” you nodded, “But she has a busy schedule ahead of her, so she must be getting dressed now.”

“Psh, as if that will stop me,” she replied. “Chaewon, wheel me in.” 

With a beckoning gesture over her shoulder, your mother wheeled Jisoo into the room where Sookmyung sat on cushions by the low breakfast table. You trailed behind, not meeting her eyes, and remaining silent.

“Good afternoon, Mother,” Sookmyung said with a false grin, “I hope you’re feeling better. YN was just telling me you hadn’t eaten much yesterday.” A lie that Queen Jisoo did not believe for a second.

“I am, darling daughter,” she said, “But my health is not why I’ve come here. I am here to tell you that you are to clear your afternoon schedule today.”

“Why is that?”

“I have invited lords from Daegu, Jeonju, and Pyongyang as well as sons of your bannermen to our banquet pavilion today. It is about time you stopped fiddling with those poor concubines of yours and settled down with a husband.”

Sookmyung glared at her, “I do not want a husband.”

“I’m afraid that your wishes are no longer a concern to anyone. You are a queen, and a queen must have a king.”

“I do not want a king.”

“Why? Because then you’d have to actually share your power with someone? Because there will finally be someone restraining these ghastly, deviant urges of yours?” her mother accused. “I have made excuses for your behavior for years and years, Sookmyung. When people at court called you improper and promiscuous, I told them you shared your father’s fiery passion. When they said your conquest brought nothing but poverty to your people, I said that you united the kingdoms under one rule and brought forth strength to our armies. Even when you rebuilt the dungeons, to toy and defile people you deemed criminals, I told them that you were passionate about justice.” You heard the frustration rising in her voice, and flaring in her dark eyes. “People have begun to talk, Sookmyung. They say that one day soon, you’ll become pregnant with an illegitimate child and bring shame to our throne.”

“Who cares?” Sookmyung groaned, “Any child I bare would have my blood. Why would that make them unworthy?”

“Because a bastard has never sat on our throne-”

“-I don’t want them, so why does this matter?”

Jisoo sighed, “Sookmyung, I understand your hesitancy to marry. I had my reservations when my mother approached me, but I made it work. I did my duty to my country and my family.” Her eyes shifted over to you, sad and full of regret. It struck you as strange. “But, in order for our family to continue, you must produce a legitimate child. A child of royal, noble blood.”

“I hate children,” she spat, glaring back at her mother, “They’re whiny, snotty, and annoying.”

“You’ll feel differently when you have a child of your own.”

Sookmyung then gave her mother a grin that unsettled you. It was the same mischievous smile she’d given when she misbehaved. She stood up from her seat, and said, “But, what if I have found true love at last, Mother? What if I have found someone I wish to spend my life with?”

“You-You have? Who?” the queen asked, shocked.

Sookmyung moved over to you, standing behind you with arms around your waist. She placed her head on your shoulder as she said, “YN.”

Jisoo scoffed, “Oh please, Sookmyung. You cannot marry YN; she is a woman.”

“Women marry women all the time, Mother, when they marry the same husband,” she said. “YN and I can marry the same man and he can give her children instead.”

“As true as that may be, our clan has never indulged in such practices,” she said. “Besides, any child YN has will be considered…” she searched for the words, “Hers. Not yours. You are the queen, so it is your children who should-”

“-I am aware of how succession works, Mother!” Sookmyung snapped, her voice pinching your eardrum. “I have told you explicitly time and time again that I do not wish to have children or to marry. YN is perfect for it. If I marry her, her children will also be considered my children.”

“Should you marry a woman, it cannot be YN,” her mother said.

“Why not?”

“She is your handmaiden, love. She is not…” she paused again, “She is not suitable for you. She is not of noble blood.”

“Psh, wow,” Sookmyung snorted, “I thought I could be cruel. Did you hear that, Chaewon? My mother thinks your daughter is unworthy of me.”

“My daughter is a servant, Your Majesty,” your mother told her. “She’ll be marrying someone of her station like a stableboy or a blacksmith. A woman of your rank, Your Majesty, should be marrying a fine lord or a prince.”

“There are no princes left, you fool,” Sookmyung sniped at her.

“There would be if you hadn’t slain them all,” interjected Jisoo. “Enough of this foolishness. You will come to the pavilion today and greet your suitors. I give you until the end of the day to make a decision. If you do not choose one, I will choose one for you,” she said sternly.

“You wouldn’t-”

“-I would,” she cut her off. “This childish behavior of yours is coming to an end. You have been a queen for eight years, and have not even considered any suitors for yourself, so I must do it for you. I am giving one chance. If not, consider yourself lucky that you have not been dethroned.”

“You bitch!”

Sookmyung grabbed a small ceramic vase and flung it in the queen’s direction. Jisoo shielded her face in time to avoid any serious damage, but you still saw the disbelief in her eyes.

“I hate you!” Sookmyung grabbed another object, this time a small dish, which was dodged when your mother pulled Jisoo away. “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!” 

“Your Majesty, please!” 

You managed to grab her wrist in time to stop her from taking up a third object, which gave your mother time to wheel Jisoo away. “You can throw tantrums all you want,” Jisoo called from nearby, “You will get married or live to regret it.”

“What did you say, you-”

You kept Sookmyung from following her mother out by the waist. “Your Majesty,” you called over her grunting and growling, “Please enough. You will only make things worse for yourself.”

“For myself?” she twisted out of your grasp and turned on you, “I am the queen, you idiot! What sort of consequences could I face? What can that old, useless woman do to me?”

“I-I don’t know-”

“-You never know anything,” she hissed. “Just as stupid as you look. I am the queen. Nobody can touch me. Nobody can make me do anything I don’t want to do. I don’t have to marry anyone. I don’t have to have children. I don’t have to do anything that those stupid, old men in the council want me to do.”

“They only have the country’s best interest at heart,” you explained, keeping your hands together to stop them shaking. “They’re not doing it to hurt you or make you unhappy. Having a child would ensure your family name and legacy continues onward,” you took a moment to think, then said, “How can you make sure your dungeons and practices remain in place if somebody else takes up the throne? With a child of your own, you can make sure they share the same beliefs as you about crime and punishment.”

“I hate children,” she gruffed. 

“You don’t have to like them. You don’t even have to take care of them; you can have a wet nurse look after them for you. You only have to have them.”

“I don’t want to marry any of those men.”

“I’m afraid it must be one of them.”

Sookmyung’s palm collided with your cheek sharply. The pain burned on your skin, but you did not dare flinch or wince in front of her. “You do not get to tell me what I can and can’t do,” she snarled. “I do. I am the queen." She smacked you again, “Say it. Say I am the queen.”

“You are the queen,” you squeaked.

“And you are my slave.”

“And I am your slave.”

Sookmyung smacked your other cheek, then grabbed you by the collar of your jacket. “I should throw you in that chamber. I think you’d remember who you are after a few days in there.”

Your eyes stayed on hers, and you trembled in her grasp. She could do it. You knew she could. For the briefest moment, you saw yourself laying nude in The Box, screaming and clawing at the wooden door as insects and arachnids crawled all over you.

“But no,” she released you and stepped away, “You’re not hard-headed like the other idiots around here. Dress me, and then we can meet these stupid suitors.”

“You…You will meet them then?”

“Might as well,” she shrugged. “Maybe we can find a husband we both like.”

“Both of us? Your Majesty,” you followed her to the bedroom, “None of those men would want to marry me. I am a servant.”

“You’re my servant,” she noted. “If they marry me, they’re marrying you too.” She held her arms behind her back so you may untie and remove her robe for her.

You gingerly touched your left cheek, and felt a small welt where her ring struck you. It pinched when you touched it. “What about your flowers? If you marry, you may not be allowed to have them.”

“I’m never giving them up,” she said, “Not for anyone. I worked too hard to obtain them.”

“Your husband may not like that and dismiss them from the palace. As king consort, he’d be allowed that right.” You’ll admit, you liked the idea of her flowers being set free. They’d all be able to live the lives they’ve always wanted freely and happily. 

“I’d kill my flowers before I let anyone else take them from me,” she said. “Grab the red and gold dress.” 

“Shall I call in the others?”

“No. I can’t stand them.”

“As you wish.”

“Because I am the queen.”

“Because you are the queen,” you repeated, giving a nod of your head before disappearing into the nearby closet. 

In the privacy of the walk-in closet, you pretended to search the shelves for the appropriate box. Sookmyung kept all her hanboks in boxes with their descriptions on the side. You already knew where her regal dress was, but did not reach for the box. Your back pressed into the opposite shelf and you took deep, silent breaths. Heart pounding in your chest, you tried your best to calm it before Sookmyung heard you. Like a feral animal, she grew tense the second she sensed fear. You hated this feeling, but it came regardless. You hated that your life was at her mercy. 

One mistake, one false word, and she’d throw you into a torture cell.

***

A/N: The conspirators have finally met!! I am so happy you guys are enjoying this fic so far. I know it's complex and elaborate, but I really love historical dramas and period pieces, so I wanted to write one for ateez. Please, as always, feel free to like, reblog, and comment <3

Also, sorry if some tags aren't tagging. Idk why.

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