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yet another successful day for Team Miraculous. let's wrap it up, gang. what would paris do without us

⭑ settle soft and as pure as snow. tom riddle x reader

summary. he’s tender the way snow is. devout as a prayer that it will clear come spring.

tags. gn reader, ooc tom to 99% of the world but man do i love the 1% to whom it isn't, short little blurb, fear of death / discussions of mortality, fluff, hurt/comfort if you squint but mostly comfort, just. lovers! being lovers! kind of a sequel to your kitchen table in that it's as much an analysis of tom's fears and desires as it is an x reader, i needed this so i wrote it idk what to tell you okay

note. in my long absence i hit 1k followers (!!!???) and while i've struggled to write anything substantial, i really enjoyed this and wanted to share something to somewhat express my gratitude :') have some healed tom (inspired by hozier) and as always, my requests are open in case something sparks inspiration. in the meantime, thanks for everything!!

word count. 791

He’s so suited to this. Beautifully, frustratingly so — born in its longest night and shaded in its sundry tones; its stellular blues and soft, powdery whites — Tom Riddle is December made mortal. (An offensive turn of phrase, you’re sure, but he’s suited to mortality too.) You think he used to charm his cheeks not to flush but relented the effort at some point, some years ago with you, because the cold splashes them pink to his ears now, snow dotting his tousled hair. He has the integrity still to deny your caps and earmuffs with a signature scowl, but — one day.

It’s a walk through the night for no particular reason, with no particular direction. There’s moorland past the trail that winds around your shared abode, tall and dense and magical. It satiates something in him. The unknown. The need for it.

Sometimes he gets restless and doesn’t tell you, only stares furtively from the northernmost window, fingers conjuring spirals of ice on the sill absentmindedly. You take his hand and kiss the cool digits one by one. To remind him of intention.

It’s the decay, you presume. A little voice always tugs him that way, but it gets louder this time of year. With everything shedded, rotted, buried and slumbering, Tom endures watching the cycle he hates most echo into spring. Rebirth, yes, but not how he pictures it. What he knows in the steepest dusks is that one winter will come where he will not wake up again with the flowers, where you might vow to tend whatever garden someday blooms over his grave, a name etched into the stone that none but you will remember. Many winters after that, when you follow him into death and the house is mildewed and lichen clusters his favourite window, the grave will wear until even that is gone to time.

It terrifies him.

So you walk. Intention. Your hand is in his.

The magic of a simple charm warms you somewhat, but you enjoy the subtle sting of cold. You can feel it because you’re alive. It’s the same life that strung you to him in a way that can’t be severed, and now you make new trails in pathless woods and wonder at constellations, spiles broaching syrup into buckets from the trees. You collect them for potions. You invent new ones together, and tease him over a coughing fit in cauldron smoke that immortality is more than living forever.

He kisses you quiet, but he’ll listen later. There’s so much time.

You wonder if it suits you, too — winter — by the way he tends to you when it comes. Doting. You would never have imagined considering him having such a virtue when you met him, but he’s… tender, the way snow is.  Devout as a prayer that it will clear come spring. Stinging, soft, ephemeral. You weather him. But how he keeps you warm when the night drags on, and talk of constellations turns to talk of grief, he shelters you.

When your back is bare and you’re laid away from him, he traces the skin like he’s never seen it before. It’s a wonder, you think, to learn the mechanisms of touch like a foreign language. Perhaps it would feel the same for the first thousand times. How many winters did he trace the cool tile of his bedroom wall just like this, with skinny fingers scraping at the mortar on another empty birthday? There are questions even now you think to ask but don’t. He offers the answers mostly as he’s reminded of them: that a clearing in the moors evokes a memory of a bad field trip, a mantelpiece of tchotchkes echo a stolen box in a burning wardrobe, that most things, at times, feel fleetingly disparate, ready to be returned to their right place. Tea will go without sugar again as he will go without you.

Nonsense. This is yours, you tell him, the word sewn between you.

His pink cheeks are all the colour you see in the dark. The tree sap is sweet and light. You write a letter to a potioneer in New Guinea to draft, and turn left instead of right the next night, a new forest discovered within the first. Your New Year’s Eve is a swell of light in birthday candles, laughing into his cheek at some bad joke until the sound is smothered by a kiss he breaks too soon by laughing too. It’s a sound you can’t invent or imagine, words failing you even when you find them for everything else he is. 

Spring comes one unsuspecting morning, twice and twenty times, greys strewn in the black of his hair. You smile with crow’s feet into winter again.

taglist. @lyis @indimoss @poddzi @esolean @d1anna @maripositanoctruna @mentally-in-northern-italy @ronniemaximoff1234 @moobell55 @jaerang @ramayantika @saltwaterbythesea @acube07 @togenabi @adazito @kitcat334 @blaurghhh @shutupfinn @jaymeeshayden @lilu842 @leaosee @garfunkelworld @definitely-not-captain-america @multiplefandomstan @mangoesareorange

This is my first time dipping into horror art. This piece was more difficult than I expected. There were a lot symmetrical structures which I found challenging to paint while maintaining a proper contrast between light and dark. In the end, I think it turned out alright

four seven eight

pairing: jungkook x reader

wordcount: 12k

glimpse: you’re secure when it comes to loving jungkook, knowing that your husband loves you beyond words. what you aren’t so secure about is his first love — someone who isn’t you.

alternatively, jungkook’s married to you, but he still celebrates his anniversary with his ex out of sentimentality.

[ part one + intermission + part two + intermission 02 + finale ]

[ major angst (pls take a break when necessary!!), no cheating happens here btw, some rlly cute moments i swear, jk’s a cold lover, emotional constipation + breakdowns, allusions to anxiety + anxiety attacks, self-deprication n loathing, miscommunication, based on the moral dilemma of whether or not it’s okay to be friends with ur ex, eventual redemption in the next parts :) ]

notes: it’s finally out and i can’t wait for you to read!! this piece is my baby, the rightful successor to heartburn <3 i’m aware that the last time i wrote a mini-series it was rlly heavy, but please trust me when i say that this would be lighter <3

as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my askbox anytime!! even replying to this post sends me over the moon :) | series masterlist

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▸ A SOUVENIR FOR THE MORNING - GOJO SATORU. - forbes gojo!au

synopsis: you’ve avoided him for the last eight years, only for him to pop back into your life, leaving you with no room to run away as he asks you to kiss him. catch is, he now has a golden ring on his promise finger.

content: 9.2k words (idk how this happened, and it's unedited bc it's too long to go through) afab!reader, she/her pronouns, cursing, explicit smut, light angst, mentions of alcohol, unprotected sex, fingering, cunnilingus, creampie, and anxiety triggers (picking at nails), pet names (baby, sweetheart, love, angel, good girl). minors do not interact.

The room is packed with people when you walk in. It was hard to recall some faces from the mirage of dimmed lights making you feel mildly dizzy and it didn’t help how the buzzing in your head from the smell of champagne and the loud chatter from the already drunk almost thirty-year-olds that can’t seem to contain their liquor-like novices, made you want to go home increasingly more.

“It’s only 9:41, and they’re drinking like they’ve never tasted alcohol before,” you heard Shoko mumble as she searched through her purse to reach for her perfume, “you want some?” Your best friend offered with a smile as she looked at you through the bathroom mirror. 

“I’m okay,” you smiled back, “can’t have all the boys following me around with that,” you teased.

Shaking her head in disapproval, “If you see me go home with any of these drunks, I give you full permission to hit me, no, in fact, I’ll pull up to your apartment every morning with coffee and take you to work for a week if I do,” Shoko shuddered while furrowing her brows only to quickly soften the moment she saw you lightly picking at your thumb – an anxious habit you’ve picked up throughout the years, only but the keenest of eyes being able to notice your anxiety.

“You okay love?” Her voice was sweet as she leaned against the restroom sink.

“Mhm, of course,” you faked a smile, “I guess I’m just a little nervous seeing everyone, you know,” lightly chuckling as you bit your lips. Little was underlying, when the knot in your stomach was building up, making you force down the urge to entirely vomit in the moment. 

“People are thrilled to see you again,” placing her hand on your shoulder, “it’s literally been years for you,” she huffed, pouting as she reminisced over the years she attended alone.  

“well ‘m sure one will be sure thrilled —” her voice suddenly drained from a crowd of people entering the restroom, slightly pushing you towards her, “nevermind come on, let’s go get something to drink,” Shoko muttered as she led you out, gently massaging your tense neck as she encouraged, bringing her lips to your ears, “if anyone bites, I’ll chop their dick off,” Shoko threatened with a flashing smile as she led you to a nearby table.  

It’s only 9:41 — no, 9:42.

College reunions, who looks forward to that? 

There was no particular reason for you to be anxious, it’s been years since. You’ve prepared yourself for this, meditating every single day since you got the notification in your email on a Tuesday evening — an invite to rsvp for a room at the Aman Hotel. 

Maybe it wouldn’t have been so nerve-wracking if you’ve been consistently going out to these every year since they’ve held one. But every year there seems to be a conflict in the schedule that forbade you to go.

One year it was your boss last-minute asking your team to work overtime, when a rookie employee lost all the data when he supposedly fell asleep, accidentally losing months of all your blood, sweat, and tears to make it for the deadline on your next advertising project. 

Poor kid was fired the next day.

The following year, you were determined to go, going as far as walking to the restaurant, when the sudden nausea of socializing plagued your mind. The joyous welcomings and celebrations annoyingly muffled in your ear as you groaned past a familiar voice that seemed to call out your name from a distance. Your feet walking on their own volition through your sleep deprivation. Only to wake up in your bed with countless text messages from your best friend asking what the hell happened. 

No wonder it was so fucking loud that night. 

Another was simple, not your fault this time. Shoko couldn’t make it because of her rounds at the hospital. 

Never in hell were you going to show up alone. 

And the last one, well your taxi got a sudden flat tire. That in itself was a confirmation for you not to go, nor did you have any dying wish to go. Quickly texting your best friend, huffing out a sigh of relief as you pressed send.

&lt;< sorry… can’t make it tonight. I promise, next year!! 

Today, well things seemed to have aligned. No overtime, no flat tires, no sleep deprivation, no nothing.

Maybe it was an excuse? 

Maybe you were subconsciously avoiding it? 

But ironic is it, that life seems to protect you when most fragile, only to push you out into the void when least expected making you feel even more vulnerable, feeling so exposed in such a cruel world. 

Or maybe the universe was waiting for this moment, that despite your consensus or approval, it was determined that you were ready to confront it — well it, being the owner of a pair of brilliant light blue eyes that sparkled like an aqua jewel, shining brighter than when you’ve last seen them clouded in tears as you let go of his trembling hand for the last time, crushing his pure heart as you left him with, “i’m sorry.”

Was that already eight years ago? 

But whether it was the consequence of your selfish choice or a blessing of choosing to be selfless, luck was on your side today…

… well, you hoped at least somewhat on your side.

“My … look who it is,” you heard a voice from behind you.

Turning around, though the shame of suddenly cutting him off enticed your heart as you faced him, you couldn’t help but smile at his familiar face walking over with two drinks in his hand.

Holding the same gentle eye smile, with a lock of his black hair falling down on his left side, donned in a white dress shirt with his sleeves cuffed at the elbows, no tie but buttons loosely opened with a pair of dark slacks and shined dress shoes. Geto Suguru walked over.

“Aren’t you still handsome,” you complimented with a sweet smile.

“Don’t feed into his ego like that,” Shoko chimed as she nudged your arm, “his head is already big enough.”

“Who me?” Exaggerating his response, only to soon level down to the same amiable smile, calm cadence you’ve remembered him to have as he offered you a drink, “I have to take all the compliment I can get, don’t know when you’ll go awol and go missing for another eight years.”

“Funny…” you muttered, rolling your eyes while taking the drink by the stem, “and thank you, Suguru.”

“Where’s mine?” Shoko jabbed while shooting a glare at his nonchalance.

“Not here,” Geto flashed a smile, innocently shrugging. 

“Whatever, I’ll get my own,” shaking her head in disapproval, grumbling while making her way to get a drink, but still making a point to stop in front of the man to warn, “Don’t say anything weird Suguru, I barely got her to come today.”

“Relax, ‘m just trying to catch up with an old friend,” Geto countered, making a point to whisper while smiling at you.

“I won't hurt her, that I promise,” Geto affirmed. 

Your best friend walked off only to turn around for a brief moment as she worriedly looked back at you “Text me for anything okay?” 

“I’ll be fine! Don’t worry,” you reassured.

“And don’t forget what I said, I’ll even cut his,” deadpanning while looking at your male counterpart, “I got no problem doing it, I’m medically certified anyways, there’s nothing that a sharp scalpel can’t fix, ” Shoko stated with an innocent smile while walking off. 

“So,” releasing a sigh as he pushed the strains of his hair back, “how’ve you been?” Geto smiled.

“I’ve been… okay,” you confessed while placing your lips against your glass before taking a sip, “could be better.”

“Thought you were living your life,” Geto teased, his voice laced with sarcasm, “Shoko wouldn’t tell us much about you.”

“I… I told her not to,” you confessed while leaning against your table, the pain of your heels starting to ache up your back. 

“How come? Weren’t we your friends too?” 

“I just didn’t think it was best to keep myself in the circle when I —” biting the inside of your mouth to stuff the suffocating knot forming underneath your lungs.

“ — When you broke up with him?” Geto finished your hesitation.

Nodding yes, you softly whispered, “I thought it was for the best for him.”

“For the best huh?” Geto chuckled, “well I guess you didn’t know him too well then.”

“What do you mean?” Your brows furrowed as your mouth started to feel dry, “I did it because we weren’t compatible, I would’ve been a stumbling block for him,” you stammered as your voice started to shake, “I- I would’ve halted his growth, and he would’ve hated me in the end if I selfishly held onto him when he was worth so much more than being with me,” you confessed with lips quivering as a tear fell, only to quickly brush it away before Suguru could notice.

But nothing passes with him, he reads right through you. His voice softened, “Was this your insecurity you’ve decided for him or — ” turning his body to face you while his body leaned on his arm against the standing table, “Was this something he actually would’ve struggled with?”

“I can’t change the past Suguru.” You shamefully avoided his gaze, “I still stand by my decision.”

“I don’t doubt that,” shrugging as he exhaled, “I mean, you did avoid him for almost a decade.”

“H-he seems happy,” you let your thoughts slip.

“You think so?” 

“Shoko would tell me about everyone, you, him” you unnoticingly spewed out your thoughts. “Of course not in full detail, but that you’ve established your own studio, and that you’ve finally released those photos.”

“Mhm, that’s correct, would’ve loved to have invited you to the exhibition, it was quite… a moment,” he chuckled while playing with his fingers. 

“That Megumi’s in high school and that he’s gotten in trouble for beating up the school bullies,” lowly laughing as you remembered how cute yet scarily mature he was for his age.

“Nanami hates corporate life, but still listens to what he has to say even if it’s outrageous.” Taking a sip of your drink, the sparkle of the beverage mildly burning your throat, “... and that he’s traveling the world living his life.”

Mumbling under your breath, “he’s even recently gone to Paris and had a night picnic with —”

“You stalked him?” Geto teased as he huffed out a laugh when he caught your shocked expression

“No — I mean, Shoko would tell me,” you stammered.

“Sure, whatever you say, sweetheart," Geto teased, "but just to let you know, he just got back. And from what I know, they haven’t met since he arrived. His plane should’ve landed,” while dramatically looking at his watch, “I don’t know like an hour ago? He’s probably on his way over here,” Geto handsomely winked as he suddenly placed a gentle hold of your waist and brought you near his side.

“You know… he’ll look for you, now knowing that you’re here” Geto whispered into your ear.

“How does he know… I told Shoko to not tell —”

Blinking innocently at you with a smile, while playing with his phone, “can’t avoid the poor guy forever.”

“I’m not avoiding him,” you sighed knowing what Geto had done, “just didn’t have a chance to run into him.”

“Whatever you say, sweetheart,” releasing you with a smile, “ if you’re really sure about where you stand, then don’t run away from him.”

Geto's eyes flash to the entrance doors for a split second and land back on you.

“But would you look at that,” humming as he pointed to his empty glass yet his eyes caught sight of a familiar figure. It was the first in a while that you felt your heart sinking, all the blood in your body rushing out, making you suddenly feel lifeless and queasy.

“Gonna get another glass, you want one?” Suguru suggested.

“I’m okay, but thank you Suguru,” you quickly stated as your heart started to beat faster by the second.

“Sure, just don’t be a stranger again,” Suguru teased as he started to walk off, but your hand immediately reached out to catch his arm to quickly reinforce, “I- I mean it… thank you.”

Knowing your implication, smiling as he received your thanks, “No need, as fucking cringe it is,” chuckling as he shook his head, looking over your shoulder and back at you, “he’s my best friend, of course, I’ll be there for him.”

Letting go of his arm, your hands anxiously balled into a fist as you quickly turned around to avoid him, doing anything to hide from his sight. You felt your breaths becoming increasingly more difficult to inhale, and stagnant as your palms started to sweat. 

“I’m not avoiding him… I’m not avoiding him” you quietly mumbled to yourself, your words contradicting your actions as you walked further away onto the balcony, texting Shoko, 

<< I’ll be outside getting some fresh air (: let me know when you want to leave.  

Closing your phone, as you let the night breeze wash against your face, leaving light chills around your body, you nervously sighed, “It’s been eight years you say…”

— 

Your story was nothing short of the typical — difference in class and status, trying to make things work just for the convenience of love. It wasn’t hard at first to situate yourself into his life, nor was it any difficult for him to become accustomed to yours. 

They say time will change things, circumstances will get better. Be patient with your season, and you’ll be rewarded for your hardwork.

But somethings never change no matter how hard you try to alter the dice. He’s rich and you’re just average.

Money works for him, while you had to take on multiple jobs just to make your next rent at the start of your career. 

He was bound for greatness at a young age, trained by the best professionals and tutored by an exquisite league of mentors. While you had to settle for things, simply dreaming of the what can be. Thus, you worked even harder. You pushed yourself to keep up, to become of the level of who he’s supposed to be, and what he could accomplish. 

When he dozed off in class, you stayed up. You studied, pulled all-nighters, chugged caffeine, and oftentimes had to push back dates with him for simple study sessions — he didn’t complain, said he liked to just sleep with his head rested on your lap while he cuddled into your stomach while you studied. 

“Don’t mind me, I’ll be your personal radiator,” he would chime with a boyish grin on his face, taking off his sunglasses as he stretched his long legs before latching behind you like a koala, “wake me up when you’re done, I’ll drive you home,” Gojo peacefully murmured without forgetting to place a kiss to your shoulder, while you stressed over your next exam. 

With him, even the coldest days always felt warm.

And on the next day, he’ll always take you to class with some soup and hot tea, murmuring about your poor dietary choices and how you often neglect your health to study. But at least he’ll be gentle, and wish you the best on your exam with a light kiss — an innocent kiss that lasts a bit too long, his hand always gracing your body as he reluctantly releases you, brushing off the saliva that linked your lips together — his good luck charm he’ll argue, a little tease of what he’ll reward you with later when you got home for being his good girl. 

Gojo will always try to convince, “Life isn’t always about studying, baby,” stating with a pout, after your fifth time canceling a date he’s planned to instead go on a simple walk outside your flat, “you gotta live life to the fullest! And why stress when you’ve snatched me?”

“Well, I can’t live life to the fullest if I don’t study now, Satoru. And who’s gonna pay for all that ice cream you eat? All the sweets you stock up on?”

“What do you mean?” Deadpanning as he stopped in his tracks, “you have me, what more else do you need? I'm a double threat — I’m rich and handsome.”

“Satoru — I… never mind,” rolling your eyes, as you were hit with his puppy eyes. 

“Just promise,” his tall frame blocking you, “that you’ll always stick with me.”

“I’m not a piece of gum to just stick onto you, Satoru,” pushing him away, only for him to reach out to delicately hold your hand, “You know, if you’re a gum, you’ll be the sweetest one.”

“Yea, why so?”

“Because every time I eat you, you taste so sweet,” he teased with a flirty wink, “if you get what I — ow!” 

Rubbing his forearm that barely hurt, Gojo loved to exaggerate when he was with you. 

For Gojo, things came easily for him, as if the universe highlighted his life as a thousand-year blessing, nothing was out of his reach — that is, nothing but you. 

Shocking to many, he pursued you first. When asked about how you guys met, or what’s the story behind you two, or even if no soul asked… he’ll blabber on with an outrageous story, saying he fell in love the moment he laid his eyes on you, that you were the apple of his eye — an over the top fanfiction of you and him of how he just knew you were the person for him when you stumbled into the library, arms full of books and coffee in the other, and you magically just happened to just bump into him. And if it wasn’t for that encounter, then he would’ve never gotten your number. 

And without your number, he wouldn’t have been able to woo you with his charm, he’ll always add with a wink.

“You can say it’s fate,” he’ll proclaim, “I never went to the library, you know,” as he munched on his icecream with Megumi and Tsumiki savoring theirs, both unbothered by the story he’s told them countless times, “and the one day I chose to follow Suguru because he was simping over someone, I get coffee spilled all over my clothes and meet her? Damn, the heavens just wanted us together.”

All you remember of that day was that your precious coffee went to waste, with your books embarrassingly spread out on the floor, and you were stuck having to dry clean his ridiculously expensive clothes. 

But with him, you experienced all your firsts.

Your first handholding — Satoru confidently took your hand, immediately interlocking his fingers with yours, his palms engulfing yours entirely, “don’t be scared baby, I’m not scared,” flexing his muscles as he proudly smiled,  “I’ll protect you!” as he leads you through the haunted mansion, jolting through every jump scare, absolutely refusing to scream. 

You remember his palms felt particularly clammy that day. 

Your first kiss — on a spring picnic as he laid on your lap, his eyes sparkling a little more than usual as he looked up at you, innocently asking, “can I kiss you?” 

Your first argument. Ignoring him for a whole week, only for your resolve to quickly break when Suguru urgently called you to his house stating that Satoru was deathly ill — dark circles under his eyes, cheeks frail from not eating, wrapped up in his blanket as he dramatically announced his dying wishes while sneaking obvious glances at you. 

Geto’s diagnosis: pure insanity. 

To your first cuddle buddy, to innocent make-out sessions, to wonton looks and lustful touches for more. leading to your first sexual experience, both unknowing and inexperienced as he groaned into your ear in the back of his car one rainy night as you struggled to take his girth.

He was your first taste of goodness — like a forbidden fruit, you increasingly wanted him more. In soul, mind, and body, you etched yourself into him, making the tear even more painful to rip apart. 

Sure, loving him was easy — but loving you, the version who was so lacking compared to him and insecure was hard.

You tried to ignore it, you did your best to brush off the insecurity that came with each day of choosing him. But having the message that you were worth less than he was being constantly blasted to your face — the blatant discrepancies between social classes and the nature of how you both grew up, to the constant side glances you’ll get wondering how someone so normal like you, got with such a high net worth — gradually, it all made you dissociate from him. 

So you worked even harder. You stayed up longer than anyone else just to get that better grade. You worked that extra shift just to prove that you were capable. You doused yourself in knowledge, yet tried to stay humble to be seemingly perfect… but in that, you unknowingly pushed him further away, losing parts of yourself while at it. 

And your final straw? It was a text message you accidentally read on his phone while he silently napped, cutely dozing off as you massaged his scalp.

From: Mom.

>> Remember the girl I talked to you about? Nitori-chan’s family requested that we set up a date for you two. The faster the better, no need for our families to meet, it’s all settled. 

To: Minako.

<< Let’s meet. When are you free, Minako? 

From: Minako.

>> Whenever! I can meet now!

>> Is this about our potential engagement?

To Minako.

<< Yea, let's meet tonight to talk about it.

You remembered, that night you couldn't reach him.

The final trigger that blew it over. The rambling of your thoughts paralyzes you from thinking rationally.

You didn’t need to search up who she was. Nitori Minako, the youngest daughter of Japan’s leading technology company that rivaled to that of America’s fruit. A girl that was a year younger than you — smart, adamantly cute, cunning and rich — always following him around a bit too closely for your liking, preaching about how “Gojo-san promised he’ll marry me when we were young! Isn’t that so cute?”

how long was this going on for? 

Has he always been going on secret dates like this? Was he always just willing to let it slide when you rejected his dates because he had other options?

Was he leading you on this whole time before he’ll leave you for what he rightfully deserved? 

Was all of this a lie? All of what he said?

The pinnacle of your sanity breaking as your thoughts became corrosive and brittle the more you dove deeper into the pitfalls of your insecurities — of course what people said was right, there was no way someone like him can settle for any less.

... Ultimately, everything led to you quietly blurting out as he rambled about his day. 

Playing with your hand, smiling like a loser as he intertwined your smaller fingers with his, “Geez, there was this jeweler that I wanted to take you to, but dammit, the store closed early today. Maybe we can go — ”

“Let’s break up,” you suddenly announced, looking straight ahead.

The room suddenly felt quiet, so quiet that the thumping of your heart felt like loud sirens blaring next to your eardrum, and your body felt numb. 

After a few seconds, Satoru stammered, “w-what?”

Sighing as you closed your eyes, “I said, let’s break up, we aren’t — ” you reiterated.

“I heard you the first time,” Gojo hissed, still playing with your fingers but his grip now harsher, “just wanted to make sure you weren’t bullshitting right now.”

“I’m not joking, Satoru,” your voice stripped of any emotion, “we aren’t good for eachother.”

“Says who?” the man challenged. 

“It’s something that’s been on my mind,” you responded back while trying to pull back your hand, “l-let go, Satoru, it hurts…”

“Is it because of the text?” Gojo refused to let go, even more so gripping even harder, “Fuck... I'm sorry I should've explained earlier," his voice pleading for you to listen.

"I swear nothing happened, and nothing will ever happen, b-baby look at me,” your boyfriend’s — now, ex-boyfriend's — voice elevating and shaking. 

“Gojo,” softly pausing after his name, “let’s end it when things aren’t so bad… I can’t have you hating me more when we have no other choice but to break up,” finally pushing his grip off, “it’s inevitable, we’ve been walking towards a destined finish line from the beginning, let’s just call it quits a little earlier.”

“no... you can't do this, you can't do this to me,” he vulnerably uttered, his body noticeably trembling as a tear dropped onto the back of your hand as he reached over to touch you, hoping it'll mend whatever hatred you had towards him, “you.. we promised,” his voice shaking.

“I’m sorry Gojo,” you dodged his grasp, “guess promises are only good if you can keep them, and I can’t.”

Days of him begging at the forefront of your door, crying as he asked for an explanation, his missed texts and calls that would go straight to voicemail, to Suguru stepping in to ask what the hell was going on… all leading you to cut off every aspect of Gojo Satoru out of your life, except Shoko.

After two years of dating, at the ripe age of 20, you experienced your first heartbreak with Gojo Satoru, marking the end of the final chapter of your love story with him. 

To you, he’ll be the greatest warmth you’ll ever experience. 

To him, you’ll be the heartless bitch that left him cold.

—-

“Hmm,” looking at your empty notifications, “guess she’s a little busy right now…” you hummed. Despite your outwardly calm demeanor and the stillness of the serene summer night, juxtaposed was your mind with wandering thoughts that wrecked havoc in your head. 

Shoko would update you occasionally about him, not going too far into details. You knew he was successful in his craft, excelling in it as he ranked 11th in Forbes 30 under 30 list, losing the tenth spot barely to a Zenin. It would be a lie if you weren’t curious about him, your mind wandering and weak during the quietest of nights, making a burner account to stalk his socials, only to immediately regret the moment you see photos and stories that presumably show that he’s in a relationship — with a gorgeous one in fact.

You’ve briefly heard of his dating history, hearing it from Shoko directly, as it mindlessly slipped through her tongue as she complained that he’s broken up with another girl. 

Throughout the years, you’ve concluded maybe this was your punishment for leaving him. Damnation to feel stuck in the same perpetual regret of hurting his heart, of choosing to look at your fears instead of maybe trusting in him. 

But, at least he looked happy. and you clung onto that reserve.

Maybe it was for the best that things happened this way  —

Your ears perked up as you heard the tapping of shoes coming towards you, your stomach suddenly dropping to the floor. 

“Were you planning on avoiding me the whole night?” 

You were sure, there was no denying that was his voice. 

Yes, it was a bit deeper from when you last heard it. The decibel of his voice is now infused with power and confidence, yet still with the underlying tone of softness from what you remembered. 

“Ah, sorry… how rude of me,” you mumbled, the pounding of your heart beating through your ribcage. You quickly placed an arm over your chest, a hand over your heart, doing anything to muffle the harsh pulsing, terrified that he was going to hear, “it’s been a while Gojo,” you offered him a light smile, “I’m sorry, but if you’ll excuse me Ieiri is waiting for me,” you tried excusing yourself only to be met with his stance unchanging, unmoving. 

You felt his eyes pierce into your skull, “Gojo?… ah that’s right,” his voice guarded as he looked over in another direction, his face pointing specifically elsewhere, the moonlight highlighting his perfect features.

“I think she’s pretty busy, don’t you think?” he shrugged.

Dammit she was your ride home. Guess coffee is on her for the next week. 

“Oh sorry,” you muttered under your breath.

Grinning as he licked his lips, “You’re awfully saying sorry a lot over nothing,” Gojo chuckled, “guess old habits die hard,” his last words spewed with a hint of bitterness as he clenched his jaws. 

Only to relax seconds later, placing his drink on the railing, softly grunting as he pulled off his jacket, and placed it over your shoulders, “It’s cold, don’t want you getting sick now,” the smell of his cologne filled up your lungs, hypnotizing your senses — a bit strong but nonetheless intoxicating.

You couldn’t help but feel guilty for feeling a sense of security from the weight of his heated jacket, and in response, you started to immediately pick at your thumbs. 

“It’s okay!” You tried to object, trying to take it off only to be met with a stern yet gentleness of his voice, his large hand stopping you, now calloused and thick yet the warmth of his palm brushing against your smaller one felt nostalgic and sinful, as your eyes immediately noticed a gold sparkle on his ring finger, “it’s fine. my body runs hot, remember?” 

“T-thank you,” you muttered, the harsh beatings of your heart quickly making your cheeks feel hot. 

A ring? you wondered.  

“So, what made you come today?” Gojo huffed as he looked off into the distance.

“Had no excuse not to come.”

“I see,” his voice deep, taking the last swig of his drink, deeply inhaling to release a long breath, “It’s good to see you though.”

“Yea, me too,” you quietly responded, the awkwardness of the conversation eating at your bones, the tightness of your stomach knotting increasingly more.

Laughing as he turned around, his long legs crossed, showing a bit of his socks peeking out of his slacks as his dress shoes reflected the moon's shine. Surely, they were expensive, probably equaled to a month of your rent on his feet. With his arms crossing his chest, leaning against the railing, the quiet winds brushing against his soft hair, lightly masking his cerulean eyes as he faced you, “Liar, you were always good at that.”

Taking you off guard, your eyes immediately connecting with his, your breath stopping as if a sudden load was pushed onto your chest, you felt a wave of sadness rush over you as you ventured into his empty eyes. 

Since when did he have that ring? 

Did he find someone at Paris? Shoko told me — no, there’s no way he found someone so soon.

Or maybe he’s trying to settle down —

“Are you happy?” His question brought you back into reality.

“What?” you whispered.

“I don’t think I’ve asked a hard question,” he responded, his voice now harsh and impatient, “I asked if you were happy.”

Your finger pricks at your thumb, “I guess so…”

Rolling his tongue against his teeth, his finger playing with his ring.   

Taking no regard for catering to your comfort, he jeered, “Why’d you do it?”

“What are you talking —” you stammered.

“You know damn well what I’m referring to,” Gojo spat. 

“Excuse me,” You muttered, your eyes refusing to disconnect despite your whole body fighting against it.

“I- I got to go, Ieiri is waiting —”

“No, you already used that excuse,” pulling you in by your wrist, immediately caging you in between his arms, with you now leaning against the railing, your eyes level to his broad chest — has he always been this big?

“Answer me, at least you can have the courtesy of honestly telling me why you left me like that eight years ago.”

“I don't remember,” you stated with eyes threatening to spill.

“Liar,” his body leaning down, the hurt in eyes even more apparent than before, “you’re a fucking liar,” Gojo spewed with no resolve to withhold a solid tear from falling, his face now dangerously close — lips even more threatening to touch.

All you wanted to do was say sorry, to cup his face and kiss his tears, to say it was a mistake that you’ve never intended to let him go — you selfishly tortured him by continuously keeping him in your heart without giving him a chance to prove you wrong. 

“I’m so sorry,” was all you could respond.

“Did you not trust me?” Hurt was apparent in his voice, “Was I that untrustworthy for you to just leave like that and just disappear for eight years?”

“No, no… it’s not like that,” you tried comforting, unknowingly placing your hands on his chest, “it was never like that.”

"then tell me why," he forced out through gritted teeth while furrowing his brows.

"I just thought it was for the best," you quietly whispered.

"you thought it would be for the best?" Gojo scoffed, "And how the hell did you come to a conclusion to just leave like that?"

" 'm sorry, Gojo... I - I truly am," you pleaded while clenching his shirt.

"You must've really enjoyed watching me beg huh," Gojo challenged, "absolutely thrived knowing this was all for my own good, right?" Gojo spat out his anger.

"It wasn't like that, i'm so sorry, I was hurting —"

“Stop fucking apologizing! you don't get to do that," His voice shattered the serene night. Chest heaving as he clenched onto the stone railing, "I didn’t go through shit these past eight years just to hear your selfish sorry's,” he stated with gritted teeth, as he threateningly moved even closer, “d-did you even love me?” 

“Yes, of course!” You immediately cupped his face, finally letting go of the years you craved his touch, your heart shattering as you felt him melt into your wicked hands.

“Then kiss me,” he suddenly whispered, the slight scent of alcohol mixed in with cologne altering your judgment.

“Y-your drunk, Gojo,” you pleaded, immediately letting go of his face as you tried to push him off.

His voice elevated, "Why not?" Gojo growled, "Like you said, it's not like you left because you didn't love me. Or are you lying about that too?"

“don’t make this hard, we — I can’t do this with you anymore,” guilt running through your veins as the image of his ring blared loudly in your head.

You couldn’t do this to another girl, he wasn’t yours anymore… 

“stop the bullshit,” Gojo growled before his lips slammed into yours, his large hands cupping your face, leaving you no room to run away. his tongue forced its way into your mouth, teeth painfully clashing yet you didn’t mind. because against your resolve, your arms immediately wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer to taste the sweetness of his saliva and feel the warmth of his tongue.

The groan of his voice vibrated against your lips, as his clothed hip bucked into your pelvis, his lips trailing down from yours to your neck, tongue sloppily trailing down with it as his hands wandered down to hold your hips.

“Tell me you missed me,” he moaned out as you gripped the ends of his hair,  his tongue teasing down your sweet spots, pecking kisses as he inhaled your scent.

“Say you loved me, I don't care anymore if it’s a lie,” your ex now pleaded, his hot breath heating your cheeks.

“… I love you,” you confessed.

Lowly laughing like a maniac, staring deep into your wanting eyes, the man whispered back, “aren't you fucking heartless.”

...

You don’t recall how you made it into the hotel room. In a moment your lips crashed with his on the balcony, and only a second later you found yourself with his large hand securely wrapped around yours, silently waiting for the elevator to bing on the twentieth floor as your ex-boyfriend led you into his hotel room.

Now, currently, you’re pressed against the wall, shoes thrown aside groaning with your hands tangled in his soft hair, as he hurriedly stripped you out of your dress, lips hungrily moving against each other as he growled into the kiss.

Though its been years, his touch never faltered from remembering your body — immediately tracing over your sweet spots that he’s located in your early twenties, now with more experience and strength he dove deeper in.

“Fuck, missed these beauties,” he groaned as he cupped your breasts, his thumb playing with your hardened nipples as he quickly released the back strap of your bra, promptly latching his lips onto your swollen ones again right before you released a moan.

Your body had a mind of its own. Fallen into sin, your hands unbuttoned his shirt, quickly revealing his toned, muscular build as your hands ran against his pecs. You felt his stomach flex as you started to unbuckle his belt and zip down his pants, his lips hungrily chasing after yours as he caressed your body, hands slipping down further into your inner thigh, his index starting to play with your swollen clit — his fingers have always been so pretty, especially with his ring

“G-gojo stop!” Your eyes immediately shoot open.

“What,” annoyed, the man hissed, looking into your eyes with his pupils dilated, hair absolutely disheveled, until moments later his lips are impatiently back onto yours again. 

“We.. we can’t,” you cried out as you melted in his touch, “y-your ring,” you gasped out, suffocating as he stripped you of oxygen.

“Ring?” he stopped for a brief moment, chuckling as he brought up his finger, “you worried about this?” he teased.

Intoxicated in his touch, you were willing to throw away your pride and dignity just for one night — one night can’t hurt, right? So you take the ounce of courage you had left, placing a tender kiss on his lips as a sign of surrender as you gently cupped his face, “take off your ring,” you whispered as you guilty looked away.

Chasing after your kiss, pushing you further into the room as you yelped at his force, your arms entangled around his neck and fingers around his hair as you tried to stabilize yourself, “I promise you it’s nothing, sweetheart,” he coaxed with his sharp canines flashing through his wickedly handsome smile. 

And running his lips against your chest, leaving small denture marks on your skin that forced moans out of you, with his pants now pooled at his ankles before shimming them off, his cock fully erect, unapologetically twitching in his briefs.

“For you, I guess,” Gojo hummed as he watched the thin line of spit that connected you both dissipate away, existing as a sign of proof of the situationship he currently had with you. 

Taking his ring off, he set it down near the bedside table, "there it's gone."

At least for this night, he was yours. 

You’ll repent for your sins, and receive any punishment the gods had to give you tomorrow, but today, you chose him.

And right now, you also chose to kneel in between his thighs, hooking your finger under his waistband to pull his briefs off. Satoru immediately lifted his hips to help you while releasing a sultry groan as he felt the cold air elope his sensitive tip. 

Was he always this thick? You remembered his cock being pretty, but also what the fuck were those two veins running down his shaft? And was he always this… groomed? 

“Are you just gonna stare at it… or do I need to use your mouth to get some action?” Satoru impatiently asked with his cock twitching, his finger brushing against your heated cheeks as he palmed his member.

“It’s just been awhile,” you murmured, licking your lips before you opened your mouth to have him enter.

“Fuck, " Satoru shuddered as the base of your tongue brushed against his frenulum.

"i must be dreaming,” Gojo murmured under his breath, your head rising up as you released his cock with pop! With your hot tongue swirling against his head, there was no chance for Satoru to stay strong. and you enjoyed every second of seeing him slowly unravel in your power.

“j-just like that,” he ordered while placing his hand on top of your head, guiding your momentum. 

His precum tasted salty but pleasant. Hell, he wasn’t even close to the other men you’ve been with, incomparable starting with the size of their dicks to his.

Hallowing your cheeks and expanding your throat to take in his shaft, with your hands gently playing with his balls, you felt his cock hit the back of your throat the moment you saw his head fling backwards, gasping as he pushed down his spit down his dry throat.

“You like that?” Gojo hissed as he bucked his hips into your warm crevice, “you missed my cock, angel?”

You honestly agreed, tears staining your vision with his length stuffed into your orifice, only to get a spiteful laugh in return, “well, guess that makes two of us,” he huffed while crowning over your body, pushing himself deeper into you, his stomach hitching as he groaned out your name.  

“Fuck this shit,” he moaned, as he urgently pulled himself out of your mouth, sacrificing his impeding release for abstinence. 

“You’re driving me crazy,” he gasped when your thumbs swirled around his pulsing head, “you always do,” he purred as he nibbled on your lower lip, promptly pulling you onto his lap, one hand straddling your waist while the other mounded your ass.

And looking up at you, with his blue eyes now darkened in full blown lust, his hot breath sending chills down your spine, “tell me what you want? I’ll give you anything.”

“Y-you,” you shamefully confessed, gasping as his cock grazed against your sensitive folds, your fingers gripping his shoulders as you started to grind against his length, “I want you inside me again, Satoru” you whispered into his ear, lightly moaning out his name.

“Shit,” Satoru croaked, pulling himself down as he gently released you to lay on the bed, “I dont have a condom,” he confessed as he gently kissed your cheeks, “ you gonna be okay without it?” he asked.

“Mhm, j-just hurry… please,” you murmured. 

“Good girl, now come here,” he coaxed as he placed a soft pillow under your head. 

Taking a brief moment to observe your face, reading any sign of forced emotion that you might try to hide, only to ease himself into the kiss when he feels you impatiently desiring his touch, “relax, baby,” he cooed as his kisses traveled southward.

Placing each delicate kiss on your body as his soft hair trailed behind, lightly tickling you as your thighs gently caged his waists into you, “you know they wanted me to thank you,” Gojo breathed out as he split your thighs open, settling himself in between your legs.

“W-who?” you whimpered as his calloused hands massaged your muscles, his soft lips easing out the tension boiling in your core while your hands immediately went straight to grip his hair.

Lips drawing closer, closer and closer until his breath knocked against the frame of your dripping cunt.

“God you’re so fucking wet,” blowing air onto your sensitive nerves, looking up to watch your body shiver at his power as he slid his finger down your folds, pushing in one finger, two, and eventually three into your tight hole as he watched you stretch, your viscous juice soon dripping down his forearm.

“They wanted me to thank you for how good I eat pussy now,” Gojo smirked before he took a swipe of his tongue against your womanhood, spreading out your cunt as he purposefully flicked his tongue against your clit, lightly sucking on the bud thereafter.

… 

How many times as it been, you wondered? More than once or twice, maybe four… five — you moaned out when you felt your legs hitching up to his shoulders, his cock hitting just at the right spots he remembered from years ago. 

“Angel,” Gojo huffed as sweat dripped down his temple, grunting as he felt your tight walls fluttering against his length at the call of his sweet pet name, “you have that much leisure to be thinking about something else when I’m fucking you?” 

Kissing your ankles, his pelvis showing you no mercy as his wet skin slapped against your ass, the sound and sultry smell of hot sex filtrating your room, “still so fucking tight,” Satoru grunted as he pushed his body onto you, your legs hooking against his shoulders, his strong arms holding you from under.

“G-gojo!” you rasped out, barely audible and inable to breathe from his heavy weight and humidity of the room, “it’s too deep! Slow down!”

Growling into your ear, his teeth nibbling against your earlobe, his hot breath stinging your face as he scoffed at your choice to call him so mundanely.

“you gonna be so impersonable,” his thrust going deeper, harder into you, “when I’m so deepily inside you?”

“Ngh,” gasping, “it’s too much,” you sobbed with his face planted into your neck, and his ass clenching with every push he drove into your gushy walls that still wrapped so perfectly around his — just like how he’s last felt you around him, just like how he’s molded your insides just for himself.

“You let anyone else fuck you?” He suddenly hissed, panting as he tried to catch his breath, the sweat on his back making it difficult for you to hold onto him, “you let anyone else see this side of you?”

“It’s too much —” you pleaded, avoiding his question.

“Answer me,” he lowly ordered.

Unable to withstand his power, absolutely willing to fold for him and his desires, you fastidiously nodded, “only a couple,” you shyly confessed.

"how many," he growled, disappointed in your answer, "how many fucked this."

"o-one or two, ngh I-I don't remember," you panted.

“One or two, you say,” he cooed as he pulsed his cock swiftly into you in rhythmic motions, satisfied seeing his length disappear inside you. his pace driving you to the brink of insanity as your lower belly started to fire up again as he knowingly pressed his palm down on your stomach.

“Then I gotta fuck you twice more to force out all memory you have of those stupid fucks,” grunting as he cupped your face to look at him, lips swollen with his skin marked by your nails, hips unapologetically thrusting into you as he watched you unravel in his lead, “because this pussy’s always been mine.”

Seven.

He’s definitely made you cum seven times. you remembered the count just before he groaned out your name, his thrusts sloppy and strained, gasping as he pulled you tighter into his embrace, face caved into your neck as he finally released his thick loads into your abused walls, sobbing out cursed moans as you held him, expending out every last ounce of energy you had for him in mere four words,

“I’ve always loved you,” you whispered before completely passing out. 

You failed to notice a tear fall from his eyes drop to your face. He hoped that it’ll stain you, wished it would reach all the way through to your heart to burn you. But he couldn't, so instead he carefully wiped it away as he gently kissed your face — inch by inch of your canvas before he chose to face you again.

“you’re so heartless,” Gojo chuckled as he pulled you in for a tight hug, straight into his chest as he laid beside you, refusing to pull out and have his cum spill onto the sheets — a feat he’s never dared to do with anyone else, he’s always fucked protected.

“what am I going to do with you," he breathed out.

"even with all this time, I’m still so weak for you,” he quietly confessed, reaching over to the side, reaching for his ring to put on the empty finger, before he too fell into the abyss of another dimension with you in his arms. 

—-

Lowly groaning as you opened your eyes, your body felt oddly heavy and aching, but yet warm and safe despite feeling on the absolutely verge of possibly snapping in half and breaking with any force.

Blinking a couple times before you started to register the room, you felt a slight huff next to your ear and the tightening around your waist as your back leaned against something hard.

Gojo Satoru, in all of his glory, was sleeping so soundly next you.

Carefully turning around to face him, you observed his features as you ran your fingers against his skin.

His lashes were still so long and soft, you giggled when Gojo twitched his nose at your touch.

His cheeks were still so smooth, without a spec of a blemish, but you can see the little bags under his eyes and the small creases on his skin. he’s probably tired from traveling.

Your finger travels down to his chiseled jaw, and defined collar bones, examining the light scratch marks on his pale skin, and the bruising of his nipple — wait… his lips are chapped and swollen, and his cock… oh god, his cock was brushing against your stomach — hard and pulsing. 

Immediately gasping, you felt the blood in your body drain at the revelation that you’ve fucked your ex — no, you fucked your ex of eight years, that you were still crazily hung up over that most likely had a girlfriend waiting for him to respond back to.  

Before you could think, your adrenaline pressed forward to act before your mind, immediately unlocking his hands from your naked waists, standing up too quickly only to stumble from your trembling legs. You felt something drip down your thighs — white viscous slowly running down your legs, your face heating up at the memory of last night. 

“I- I need to leave,” you whispered, quickly gathering your discarded clothes and undergarments as you rushed to the restroom, forcing down your whimpers as your sensitive cunt brushed against your thighs with every step you took.

“I can’t be here, t-this was a mistake,” you stammered while putting on your dress, quickly stuffing your used panties into your purse.

You looked like a mess, but it didn’t matter because you needed to get the hell out of there before he woke up, but somehow your feet didn’t move in the direction you wanted them to — out the door — but instead towards him unknowingly sleeping.

And quietly sitting against the edge of the bed, carefully pushing away the edges of his bangs that covered his handsome face, you decided to take a minute to absorb the last images of what you’ll have of him. And there you decided to let a tear or two drop from your eyes as you said your last goodbyes, gently kissing his lips before you made your way out the door, whispering, once again,

“I’m sorry…”

—- 

It’s been close to an hour since your walk of shame out the door. Since then you quickly checked out of your room and made your way out of the hotel. 

You immediately called for a taxi to get home, groaning as you were hit with the realities of your mistakes last night.

Treading up the stairs your legs quivered with every move. It's been a while since you've been fucked that hard, nor even had a partner that lasted so long.

You needed to text Shoko, you prayed that she didn’t blow through your notifications when you suddenly went missing last night. Sighing, you absentmindedly tried to find your phone in your bag as you punched in your door keys.

You started to think, maybe the whole fucking universe was now against you, for your sins, because your phone wasn’t in your purse.

You tried to retrace your steps to where you’d last used it as you made yourself over to your bed, stripping off your clothes as you walked over to the shower.

And to your last memory, you texted Ieiri out in the balcony… and then,

“Shit,” you hissed, remembering how your bag was tossed to the side when you were being feverishly stripped of your clothes, “it’s probably under his bed or something.”

“I hope no one calls… or tries to contact me until he leaves his room,” you groaned as the hot water massaged your tense shoulders while your fingers ran down your body.

Washing every crevice as you also tried to erase away the memory you had with him, you forced yourself to retract your tears. This was your punishment you repeated, this was the outcome of your selfishness. You lathered yourself in soap, trying to scrub away the pent-up guilt until you noticed something flash under the light.

You never wore your jewelry into the shower, you’ve always had a habit to take them off to not tarnish. 

But there was a golden ring, a ring that fits a little loosely on your promise finger.

Unable to understand why, all that circled through your mind was to go back.

Quickly washing off, throwing on any pair of clothes before running to your door, you could feel your anxious heart beating loudly in your chest as your ears started to feel plugged from the tension. And just when you’re about to open your door, you hear a buzz that silenced every chaos around you.

Looking through the peep hole, you felt faint, your heart entirely about to burst — is this reality or am i still dreaming?

“It’s me,” you heard his calm voice.

Your hands trembled as you slowly opened up the door, your eyes taking a moment to quickly scan his body — donning the same clothes as yesterday with the top buttons of his white shirt undone and ends stuffed into his slacks, his hair lightly messy and eyes a little sunken.

“How’d you get here?” you gasped with your ringed hand clenched, hidden behind your back, while the other pricked at your thumb.

“You left your phone in my room, and I found it because Ieiri was blowing up your phone," Satoru calmly stated as he handed over your phone, "so I asked where you lived to drop it off.”

“She didn’t say anything?” you warily asked

“Well, she did ask about us."

“And… did she threaten you or anything?”

“No, why would she? But,” stretching out his arms as he released groan, “I told her we fucked,” he boyishly smiled. 

Afraid to confront your messy rendezvous with him, you nervously bit your lips, and you avoided his gaze. Noticing your tendencies, you felt his hand cup your face to meet his while his thumb gently soothed your aching lip, "hey," he whispered, "don't do that."

And stepping closer to you, the mild fragrance of his shampoo dancing in your nostrils, “Did you see it?” he asked.

“Mhm,” you acknowledged, “I saw it just now while showering,” you looked into his eyes to seek an answer, tears starting to cloud your vision.

“You know, I’m not the same anymore,” he confessed, “I have power, I’m strong, and I’m able to do things now,” pressing a kiss onto your forehead, “but the only thing that stayed the same about me," chuckling as he shook his head — as if he couldn't even believe it himself.

"is that I didn’t change my number since we’ve broken up,” he stated before taking a step into your apartment, the click of his shoes hitting the tile floor echoing throughout the hallway, “I just hoped maybe one day you’ll call.”

"why?" you honestly questioned, unable to understand why he would choose to do that.

"I don't know," Satoru shrugged while pulling away, "guess I really tried to subconsciously manifest the we were fated to be bullshit that I preached."

“But that girl,” you quietly muttered while you unknowingly pouted when you saw his arms cross against his chest, the tightness of his sleeves about to burst from his muscles bulging.

“Girl… what girl?” Your comment took him aback.

“The one you were in Paris with,” your face feeling hot, embarrassed that you outed yourself for stalking him.

“You stalking me?” He chuckled while leaning against the wall, "it's not what you think," Gojo sighed as he pushed back his hair, "that girl, it was Suguru.”

Raising an eyebrow as he examined your expression, sighing as he saw the unbelief in your eyes, “Here look,” he commented while pulling out his phone to show you pictures, “we went for his art exhibition or some shit because his girl couldn’t make it with him.”

“B-but you came late to the reunion.”

“Yea, because I wasn't going to pull up looking mid when I needed to make you regret ever dumping me,” he joked while pinching your cheeks, "I didn't have plans on attending until that jerk sent me a photo of you," he shamelessly confessed.

“You’re stupid,” you grasped his hand to check his finger — ringless.

“But it was worth it, no? Got you to indirectly confess,” emphasizing his last few words, “that maybe you still love me."

"Whatever," you mumbled, "I said I loved you."

"fine by me," Satoru accepted, " but the fact is that you still think I’m hot, no? Or maybe you just missed my cock? ”

“You’re crazy,” you stated while wiping your tears.

“Yea, I know,” his gaze softens as he sees you playing with his fingers, your small ones wrapped around his.

“and this ring is too big for me,” you cried as you melted in his touch, his right thumb gently rubbing against your cheeks.

“That too, I know,” he smiled stepping closer into your house, and slowly closing the door behind him, “we’ll get another one together soon, only if you'll let me.”

"I'd like that," you whispered.

“I just couldn’t get it for us when you heartlessly broke up with me eight years ago," Satoru confessed while brushing the tip of his nose against yours.

“I’m so sorry Satoru,” you snuggled your face into his strong chest, his arms tightly wrapped around you, cooing as he steadied your breaths, “Shhh, it’s okay baby, it’s okay.”

“I’ve hurt you, I’m the one that caused all this,” you heaved as he pressed light kisses all over your face.

“Through everything,” kissing your swollen eyes, taking his time to savor your touch as his lips traveled their way back to its home, briefly kissing your ringed finger as he looked into your eyes. 

And sealing his final destination, he whispered before locking his lips with yours once more,

“I’ll always find you even if you run away because you’ll always be mine.”

author's comment: sheesh, I didn't expect this to get this long... but here it is! I wanted to write the typical exes-to-lovers trope, but I was stuck on the quote with Satoru teasing how his past partners wanted to thank the reader for teaching him how to eat pussy... and here we are over 9k words later.... oh wells

again, i hope you enjoyed it!!

p.s. i might just have one exes to lovers in the drafts for geto, as well.... hahahahaha but you didn't hear that from me, nope (,:

Man, I think the best and worst part of Knives’s character is just how compelling he is*

I get it. You get it. We all understand exactly how and why he is the way he is. So many people have put this idea into better words than I could. He witnessed an unspeakable horror at an incredibly young age. He knew he was different, that he was other, and a worry set deeply into his bones that humanity would reject him for being born who he is. 

And he was right. It was so much worse than he could have ever realized. He was born to be an object for humanity to use as they see fit. All he wanted was love and peace for himself and his brother. And after seeing that? What they did so mercilessly to Tesla? Who can blame him for not believing in any future with humanity in it. Who can imagine a future without unbelievable strife and prejudice when you’re outnumbered and are seen as an item to dissect and toy with as you see fit

And yet

And yet

In his fear, in his need to control and correct, the cycle continues. The abused becomes the abuser. He assaults his brother multiple times. He takes away Vash’s autonomy and manipulates his body without his consent. Hell he happily experiments with/tests and uses Vash’s body while unconscious. He says he loves Vash while refusing to hear a word coming out of his mouth. Because, if he has a moment of doubt, any hint of weakness, all of that anger slips away and he becomes that boy again–afraid and weak and alone

In his fear, he takes plants. He strips them of their independence and will, denying them their souls. Again, he uses the bodies of his siblings against their will. He displays their corpses to keep him angry instead of putting them to rest. He kills and breaks apart the body of his sister so that he doesn’t have to die, so that he can be reborn. He willfully denies the thoughts, dreams, and pains of his sisters and instead absorbs them, impregnates them, tries to kill them in the “right” way

In his fear, he drove humanity into hurting his kind more. He forced their hand into injuring and killing more plants than they’d ever dreamed of harming. He’s the one that put Vash into a constant position where he’s gaining mountains of scars. (His brother who, on the opposite end of the spectrum, has let the cycle of abuse continue while using himself as a shield instead of breaking free from the pattern.) He uses and discards the humans near him no matter the kindness and devotion they shows him

The same behavior Knives shows everybody and everything else

He’s awful. Absolutely sick and perverted and so stuck in his own mind that all he does is hurt and hurt and hurt

And yet

I get it. I’ve been traumatized to the point where all I want to do is cause pain in return. To feel that justice can exist and will come to pass, no matter the cost. To be so afraid that anger is the only safe emotion you can cling to. It’s what makes him one of the most compelling antagonists I’ve ever seen. Kudos to Nightow for fucking me up about Knives and his pain more by the day, honestly

*Except for ‘98 Knives lmao, that man is fabulously unhinged and overly dramatic about everything and I love him for it

Protoman was wounded, low on energy, struggling to remain standing as Wily ordered the final attack.

The death of Protoman.

Did IAL make me cry? Yes. But does it haunt me and make me stare at walls like the universe has become a carousel? No

Jeonghan’s Guide to Insurance Fraud (And Falling in Love)

reader x jeonghan

summary: your best friend offers a way for you to get your wisdom teeth removed without going into debt. the only catch? you can’t fall in love

genre: fluff, angst, non-idol au, elementary school teacher!jeonghan, f2L, fake relationship

warnings: swearing (jihoon needs soap), one suggestive joke?, mentions of insecurities??? (is that a warning)

wc: 11.2k

a/n: this story (probably obviously) is based on the fact that i have aged out of my parents dental and i still have my wisdom teeth and this gives me anxiety - if you live somewhere with actually decent healthcare what’s it like 😭 (we can call this 100 follower special sure yeah uh huh)

“Marry me.” 

You eyed Jeonghan from across the couch. Having been friends with him since childhood, you knew what it looked like when he was going to say something completely insane. The corners of his mouth would turn up (as if even he knew how ridiculous what he was saying was), his eyes would glint with mischief, and when he was really messing with you, he’d sit back and fold his arms. 

The thing was, he wasn’t doing any of that now. 

It’s only because you knew him so well that you realized he was actually nervous, blinking just a little bit more than usual and popping his knuckles. 

“You’re serious?” You finally said. 

He shrugged, feigning nonchalance as he leaned back against the arm of the couch. “It’s a solution.” 

“It’s marriage, Jeonghan,” you said. “It’s not something you do on a whim.” 

“It’s not a whim,” he said, rolling his eyes. “I thought it through. You’d be able to get your teeth out without going into debt.” He poked your left cheek, almost to your jaw, as if he could reach your teeth. 

“But marriage? That’s like—a whole commitment and everything,” you sputtered. “You don’t just marry someone for insurance!” 

He shrugged. “Why not? It’s half the reason I took this job and my wisdom teeth have already been taken out. I need to make full use of it!” He knocked his knee against yours. “We’ll get divorced as soon as your teeth are fine. Don’t you want to do something fun and stupid?” 

“Fun and stupid is for people that didn’t lose their parents’ dental insurance,” you said with a sigh that even you knew was dramatic. 

“And this is a solution to that!” Jeonghan paused. “You really won’t even consider it?” 

You turned to him, seeing how earnest he was. For whatever reason, he really believed in this. “Why? What does this do for you?” 

“Contrary to what you and Seokmin think, not everything I do is give and take,” Jeonghan said. He placed a hand on your wrist, warm and familiar. “Yn, you are my best friend, and I want to help. I can help, I have a legitimate solution. If you want.” 

For the first time, you actually contemplated it. Fake marrying Jeonghan wouldn’t change anything. He’d still be the idiot you met in elementary school that somehow convinced you for an entire year that humans came from Mars, and who had talked you into joining the Shakespeare Club in high school before abandoning you to join the soccer team. And he’d still be the first person you’d called when your first boyfriend had broken up with you and you needed a shoulder to cry on, the person who kept you up all night so you could write your final paper last minute your senior year, the first person you hugged when you finally graduated college. 

“I’m not marrying anyone that doesn’t ask properly,” you said, not quite able to hide your smile. It was quickly wiped away when he slid off the couch, kneeling in front of you and scooping your hands into his. He looked up at you without a hint of a lie, his smile hesitant and nervous. 

“Yn, my love.” He paused for dramatic effect. It wasn’t the first time he’d called you ‘my love,’ but it was different when he was immersed in the act of a man in love, making your heart skip a beat. “Would you please consider marrying me?” 

You were tempted to say yes right away, your heart beating much louder than it should have considering it was just Jeonghan and not an actual proposal. You opened your mouth to answer, but the door flew open and Mingyu walked in. You whirled around to see him, Jeonghan’s hands still wrapped around yours. 

Jeonghan’s roommate clearly had walked in without looking, now frozen with his bag hanging in his hands and one shoe half off. “I can come back.” 

“No need!” You said, as he tried unsuccessfully to wiggle his foot back into his shoe. “Jeonghan was just proposing.” 

“Oh, is that all,” Mingyu said. You were tempted to keep the joke going but you were a little worried at Mingyu’s frown, a mixture of shock and concern. 

“He’s just trying to marry me so that I can get my wisdom teeth out,” you said. “It’s just insurance fraud.” 

“Oh, is that all,” Mingyu repeated, sounding rather disappointed. He finally shut the door behind him, tossing his bag into a corner and taking his shoes fully off. “Don’t let me interrupt.” You watched him cross the room, barely glancing at you and Jeonghan, and disappear into his room. 

Jeonghan squeezed your hands to get your attention again. “So? How about it?” 

You smiled. “Sure. On one condition.” 

.

.

You would have had a lot more fun if the waiter wasn’t still staring at you. It was starting to get uncomfortable. Since you sat down, you hadn’t felt him look away, his eyes burning into you throughout the entire meal. 

You wondered if Jeonghan even noticed, sitting across from you and frowning at the menu. You tapped his foot under the table and he finally looked up and smiled at the man. 

“Are you ready for dessert?” The waiter took his eyes off of you and you finally felt like you could breathe again. Some of it was your own fault. As Jeonghan ordered, you decided that it had been your idea and you couldn’t really be mad at him for being oblivious to your discomfort. It wasn’t like you were actually on a date. 

“Anything else?” The waiter turned back to you and you tried your best not to squirm under his gaze. It felt like he was trying to undress you with his eyes. You wished you had worn a jacket and less form-fitting clothes. 

Jeonghan reached across the table and squeezed your hand, making the waiter shift his eyes away from you for a moment. You glanced at your fake date and he smiled. 

“We’re good, thank you,” you said, not taking your eyes off Jeonghan. You waited until you heard his footsteps leading away before you sighed in relief, letting go of Jeonghan’s hand. 

“What is up with that guy?” You muttered. 

“We’re almost out of here,” Jeonghan said. “We can bail if you want, though.” 

You shook your head. “I want to see the look on his face when we walk out of here.” 

Jeonghan laughed. That was why you were best friends. You understood the little voice in his head that whispered about petty comebacks so well because it sounded a lot like yours. 

“So,” he said louder. You realized he was starting, fixing any stray hairs that had wandered into your face and sitting up a little straighter. “We’ve been together for a long time.” You nodded, smiling and finding it easy to pretend to hang on to every word as if you were in love. “Yn, you have been by my side through the most important parts of my life. I can’t imagine my future without you in it. Even before we were dating, I always knew it was going to be me and you.” 

He paused, stepping out of his chair to kneel on the hard tile floor, reaching into his suit jacket and pulling out a box. He opened it, revealing the simple gold band you had picked out together. With his free hand, he found yours, squeezing your fingers gently. 

“Yn, will you please marry me?” 

Your hand flew to your mouth, as you stood up, sputtering his name, trying to pretend like a flustered date, buying time so you could blink out the real tears in your eyes. Teaching those children was making him too good of a liar. 

“Yes,” you finally said. “Of course yes.” His smile was so big as he slid the ring onto your finger that you knew you had the entire restaurant fooled, maybe even yourself. There was applause when he pulled you into a hug, and you wondered if you were supposed to be this excited about a fake marriage. 

You caught a glimpse of a uniform out of the corner of your eye and had a terrible idea. You pulled away until your face was only inches away from his, playing with the lapels of his suit jacket while his hands came to rest at your waist as if this were natural. 

“You wanna kiss?” You asked softly. You were, perhaps, a little too entertained by how wide his eyes got, his hands suddenly tight. “It’ll be funny,” you said, leaning a little bit closer. “And I think it’ll look really weird if we don’t do it now because it really looks like we’re about to kiss.” 

He stared at you, glancing at your lips then back to your eyes. You realized that this was the closest you’d ever been to him, in all your years of friendship. Your breath hitched as he leaned forward, and you closed your eyes. 

Just when you were beginning to think he chickened out, you felt his lips on yours, a gentle and chaste kiss that was supposed to end in a heartbeat. Your hands curled into the fabric of his jacket as you leaned closer, chasing him before he could pull away. For a moment, he didn’t react. Then he was kissing you back and you forgot what you were supposed to be worried about.

You were both breathing heavily when he finally pulled away. You felt a little light headed, grateful he didn’t let go of your waist as you tried to remember why you had been kissing your best friend, and why it felt so good. 

“I can’t wait to marry you,” he said, reaching a hand up to brush some hair out of your face. Right. Marriage. Fake marriage. You finally pushed out of his arms, sitting back in your seat, though you kept your dazed smile. 

“Congratulations,” the older couple sitting at the table next to you said. “You two make a lovely young couple.” 

“Thank you,” you said. 

“Take it from someone who’s been married for fifty-one years,” the man said, “the only right way to do marriage is to find someone that loves you and hold on to them.” 

You smiled at them, feeling a little guilty that you weren’t really getting married. You did love Jeonghan, though not in the sense that he meant. 

“It’s been fifty two years, dear.” 

The man frowned. “No, I counted this morning.” 

“Well, you counted wrong.” 

You turned back to Jeonghan as they continued to bicker, raising your eyebrows. He smiled, picking up your left hand that now bore the “engagement” ring, running his thumb over your fingers. The kiss was messing with your head, that was why your heart was pounding at such a simple movement. 

You sat in idle silence as Jeonghan laced your fingers together and you both eavesdropped on the fighting couple next to you. For a couple moments, it was nice, and you let yourself pretend you really were engaged. You wondered what it would be like to be so certain in your love that you would commit to every day with them. Maybe you were just young, but you couldn’t imagine the strength of that love. Except maybe you could, because you knew for a fact that your future held Jeonghan. And Seokmin, and Seungcheol, and Mingyu, and all of your friends. They were fixtures in your life even if it was a different kind of love. 

Jeonghan tapped your hand, bringing you out of your daydream. “Free dessert incoming.” You turned around and saw a waiter, not the one who had been staring at you, carrying a large slice of cake with a candle in it. 

“Congratulations!” He said, setting it on the table. “Please enjoy your dessert complimentary as a sign of our hope your love will be everlasting!” His enthusiasm was fake but the free dessert was all you cared about anyways, the entire reason you had Jeonghan propose a second time. 

You cut into the cake, excited to see if it really was as good as the reviews said. The fork was halfway to your mouth before you paused, smiling at Jeonghan. He seemed to know exactly what you were thinking, rolling his eyes but opening his mouth. You leaned over the table, delivering the cake directly into his mouth. You tried not to think about his lips as you pulled the fork back, remembering how they felt against yours. 

You quickly cut your own piece, focusing on the sweet chocolate. It really was delicious, definitely worth the fake engagement. You savored each bite, not daring to look at Jeonghan for fear of your thoughts betraying you again. 

The cake was finished quickly, leaving you full and suddenly nervous with nothing to look at other than Jeonghan. Since when did he make you nervous? 

Because you weren’t looking at him, you didn’t notice him lean forward, and nearly jumped when his fingers brushed against your chin, thumb rubbing against the corner of your lips. 

“You had some chocolate on your face, idiot,” he said, dropping his hand and leaning back. It’s because you haven’t been on a date in a while, you decided. That’s why the simplest actions from Jeonghan were making your heart flutter. 

“Thanks,” you mumbled, trying to see if the waiter carrying a check was headed your way. 

You hoped the awkwardness would go away after a few minutes, but even after Jeonghan paid (and stared down the waiter) and you both walked to his car, you couldn’t think of anything to say to break the awkward tension. It was as if you had forgotten everything you had ever spoken about, your mind completely blank. 

You sat in the front seat of his car, tapping your fingers on the armrest and looking anywhere but at your best friend. You tried to remember the last time you had been with him and didn’t have anything to say. How did you normally act around him? Make fun of his driving? Tease him about…Well, usually about his lack of a love life but you were definitely not bringing that up now. 

You were relieved when his phone rang, saving you from spewing any of the awkward conversation starters you were coming up with. Jeonghan answered with his fancy steering wheel button, making you reminisce about the days when you would have to answer for him. Sometimes you missed his old car, as beat up and shitty as it was. 

“You bastard.” You grinned at Jihoon’s greeting. 

“Hi, Jihoon, my night is going great, how’s yours?” 

“Hi Jihoon!” You said so that he’d know you were there too. 

“How dare you fucking leave me?” Jihoon said. “You heartless, spineless, dickless, motherfucker.” 

Jeonghan laughed. “I see the dance went well.” You stifled your giggle. You’ve met Jeonghan’s work friends a couple times, though this is the first time you’ve experienced Jihoon’s full wrath (Jeonghan has told you many times how scary the man could be and you’ve seen firsthand that he has not skipped gym day in years). 

“I sent Joshua,” Jeonghan said. “It couldn’t have been that bad.” 

“Yeah that bastard is next, he switched too,” Jihoon said. “I had to chaperone with motherfucking Seungkwan.” 

“Oh come on, it couldn’t have been that bad,” Jeonghan says. “Seungkwan is nice.” 

“You better have a good goddamn excuse.” You could hear Jihoon’s glare. “Any second I wasn’t dealing with a kid crying bc they couldn’t get a goddamn muffin or pissed their pants I was listening to that fucking idiot gush about how cute the kids are. I haven’t had a second to hear my own fucking thoughts.” 

“Stop laughing!” You said. “Green light, dumbass!” Jeonghan wiped a couple tears from his eyes and stepped on the gas before the cars behind you honked. 

“Yn?” Jihoon seemed to finally realize you were there. 

“Yeah, I’m with Jeonghan, he’s driving,” you said. 

“Are you the reason that motherfucker ditched me tonight?” He asked. You wondered if it was safe to answer the question, but, catching a glimpse of the ring on your finger glinting under the passing streetlight, you realized you had a perfectly good reason. 

“Well, we did get engaged,” you said. 

Jihoon was silent. Jeonghan’s head whipped to you for a moment before turning back to the road. When you winked at him, it took him a moment to return a smile. 

“Took you long enough,” Jihoon finally said. 

“It’s not an actual engagement,” Jeonghan said, rolling his eyes at your groan. “Yn just wanted free dessert.” 

“You canceled on me because you scammed a restaurant?” Jihoon sounded pissed again. 

“We could have kept that going so much longer,” you muttered as Jihoon began to curse him out again. Jeonghan pulled into your driveway, leaving the engine on. 

“I’ll see you on Monday, Jihoon,” Jeonghan said. 

“Yeah, looking forward to it,” Jihoon said. You frowned as the call disconnected. 

“I think he might be planning your murder,” you said. 

Jeonghan laughed. “Yeah, you’re probably right. I’ll just call Joshua and make sure he’s there to witness it.” 

“I’m pretty sure it’ll just end up being a double homicide,” you said. “Is it weird that I’m a little scared of him?” 

“It’s a common reaction,” he said. “You get used to it, especially when you see him with the kids. He’s an entirely different person.” 

Just like you, you thought, barely catching yourself before you said it out loud. You saw Jeonghan exactly once at school, picking up a work paper he’d accidentally taken with him when he was grading at your dinner table, and immediately forgot to be mad because you got to spy on him teaching in front of a bunch of eight year olds who were actually listening to him. He might have been your best friend, but even you couldn’t deny the way he could make the entire class burst into giggles with just a wink was at least a tiny bit adorable. 

You looked at him now, dark hair getting so long it was falling over his eyes. As he reached a hand back to try (and fail) to tuck it behind his ear, you remembered how they pressed into your waist when you kissed. You pushed the horrible thoughts away, realizing you had been quiet for way too long. 

“I’ll go inside now,” you said, opening the door. You turned around as you got out, facing him. “Thank you for indulging me tonight.” 

His eyes flitted between the ring on your finger and back to your eyes. “You know I love free food just as much as you.” 

You laughed. “Thank you anyways.” You chewed on your lip for a moment before adding, “Seriously, thank you. I… I really don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

He blinked before smiling. “You’d probably let Soonyoung pull out the teeth with pliers.” 

“Oh my god, I totally would,” you said, covering your mouth. “You’re saving me from complete mutilation!” You both laughed, though it faded quickly and you found yourself lingering at the door. 

“Goodnight, yn,” Jeonghan said softly. 

You take a step back, returning his smile. “Goodnight, future husband.” You closed the door on him, though you didn’t miss how he rolled his eyes. 

He waited for you to get inside before he finally drove off, headlights flashing in the windows then disappearing as you watched him drive down the street. You stayed standing by the window for too long, staring at the street long after his car was gone. 

.

.

You found yourself in the front seat of his car again, clutching the piece of paper. It felt… flimsy. You turned to Jeonghan, who had been about to start the engine. 

“That was ridiculously easy, right?” 

He shrugged. You agreed to dress up today, and Jeonghan had decided to wear a suit which made it very hard for you to look at him and think properly but you were doing your best to ignore that. 

“It’s not like it’s a green card marriage,” he said, turning the key and starting the engine. “Plus we’ve been friends for so long I don’t think they’d be able to ask anything we couldn’t answer.” 

You sat back against the chair, still unsatisfied for some reason. A courthouse marriage wasn’t exactly romantic, but you reminded yourself this relationship wasn’t romantic. Still, you thought being married would feel different. 

“So, what do married people do?” You asked. 

“Seatbelt,” Jeonghan said, tapping your leg. You ignored the shivers that traveled down your spine. He turned back to the wheel, though he didn’t put the car into gear until your seatbelt clicked. “I don’t know, get groceries? Run errands?” 

“We do that all the time anyways,” you said, frowning. 

“You do remember that this is a fake marriage, right?” Jeonghan asked. 

You rolled your eyes. “Yes, I am well aware of that. I just thought that this might feel… I don’t know, different.” You held up the piece of paper. “Even if it isn’t actually real, this still legally links us together and that’s kind of monumental.” 

“Are you getting nostalgic on me already?” 

You stared out the window, watching the trees pass by. Maybe you were. You couldn’t help but remember when Jeonghan first got his license, six months before you could get yours. You spent so much time in the passenger seat of that rundown vehicle, seeing him nearly every day. 

You both had grown up. Well, Jeonghan had, with an actual adult job (complete with benefits!). You were still working a part time job and struggling to figure out what you wanted and spending every day terrified that you might never find out what that is. Sitting in his front seat, you wondered if you would ever know. 

“I don’t know,” you finally said. “I just want to do something fun today.” 

“Don’t tell me you want to scam another poor restaurant,” Jeonghan said. “We’ll never be able to go there again.” 

“I didn’t say anything like that!” You said. 

“Then what is something fun?” Jeonghan asked. It was a Monday and he had gone straight from work to the courthouse. You realized he was probably tired and wanted to go home and be done with the day. 

“Laying in bed and taking a nap?” 

“We’ve been married for like twenty minutes and you’re already trying to get me in bed?” Jeonghan whistled. “That’s low even for you.” 

You smacked his arm. “I literally said taking a nap.” 

“Well if you’re not going to suggest anything, then I will,” he said. You frowned at him, but it quickly turned into a grin when you heard his suggestion. 

An hour later you were wearing cheap plastic armor and held a phaser to your chest. You glared at Jeonghan from across the room. He raised his eyebrows and you knew he was saying, good luck with that. 

It had been a little concerning how quickly you and Jeonghan were able to round up friends for laser tag. It was always a struggle to find a date to meet up with everyone but a random Monday afternoon and a last minute invitation somehow managed to bring over half your friends together. 

On your team was Seungcheol, Jun, and Chan, while Jeonghan had Mingyu, Jihoon, and Soonyoung. A fair enough split, in your opinion (you learned years ago that as long as Jeonghan and Seungcheol weren't on the same team it was fair). Chan and Jihoon would both have to prove themselves, the only two invited that hadn’t been friends with you and Jeonghan since high school.  

The “safety instructor,” a kid that couldn’t be older than seventeen, finally finished explaining the rules and the group split up on opposite sides of the arena to begin the battle. 

“Okay, listen up,” Seungcheol said, rounding the group up. His competitiveness hadn’t changed since high school. “I’ll die before I lose to Mingyu and Jeonghan. Keep your eye out for them, Soonyoung is Soonyoung, we don’t have to worry about him, but Jihoon is a wildcard and I don’t trust him, he looks like he’s wielded a gun before.”

“Is it really this deep?” Chan asked you a little too loud. Seungcheol rounded on him. 

“Listen up kid,” he said, ignoring Chan’s protest that he was only a couple years younger. “This is about honor. Respect. This is war, and I’ll be damned if I lose.” 

“Did he watch Braveheart last night or something?” Jun whispered in your ear. You shrugged, adrenaline already pumping through your veins. It had been so long since you’ve gotten to do something fun. 

“Alright, yn and I should split up since we’re the only ones who have a chance at taking down Jeonghan, so Chan, you’re with me, Jun either stick to yn or find high ground.” 

Chan yelped as Seungcheol dragged him to the far entrance. “Why am I with you?” 

“I don’t trust you not to die,” Seungcheol said. 

“Dude, we met today,” Chan said. 

You glanced between Jun and the bickering boys. “Should I save him?” 

He shrugged. “He looks like he can handle it.” 

“You’re still mad that he finished the popcorn when I invited him to movie night.” 

“If he can handle Seungcheol’s wrath he can be invited again,” Jun said. “Otherwise I don’t trust your ‘work friend.’” 

“Oh my god, I can have friends other than you guys,” you said, pushing him to the middle entrance. “Go be a sniper, I don’t want to deal with your sulking more than I’ve already had to put up with.” 

Jun laughed, letting himself get pushed into position as you took the opposite side, already mapping out your plan of attack. From the little map they gave you, it hadn’t changed much since the last time you had been here, though it had been years. You smiled, remembering the last time you had dominated the competition. Jeonghan had been on your team that time, and there was a huge argument about whether that team was unfair. 

You took a deep breath as the countdown dropped to five seconds. You had a reputation to uphold and a husband to destroy. 

Three. 

Two. 

One. 

You were moving as soon as the doors opened, blinking through the machine-generated fog and advancing down the right side of the arena, to where you knew an outpost would be. You could hear Jun’s light footsteps in the catwalks above you, though they soon vanished as he turned to the middle of the map. 

You peered into the darkness, looking for any flash of the green light that signified your enemy but found nothing. You got to the tower, pulsing white light that you shot down before it could damage you. Your armor blinked once, twice, then faded, and a two minute timer began counting down on your phaser. Two minutes of invisibility. You grinned. 

You crept along the side, taking extra care to be quiet. Finally, you caught your first glimpse of a victim, a flash of green light a few paths to your left. You ducked behind a pillar to follow, stepping out and taking a shot. Your phaser buzzed with victory, and you darted back before your victim could spot you and expose your invisibility. 

You moved quickly, glancing at your phaser to see you had gotten Soonyoung. An easy kill, but it made you smile anyways. You were nearly across the arena now, and decided to climb up and see if you could get a better angle for the arena. You knew there was another outpost nearby and heard the unmistakable clanging of someone fighting it. After a couple seconds it stopped, and you guessed it meant someone else had a power too. 

From above, you spotted another green light, taking the shot before it could vanish and feeling the satisfaction of another buzz. You heard Jihoon curse and smiled, ducking behind a wall before he could see you. 

“Fuck you, yn,” he said. 

“Language!” You called back, laughing as he cursed at you again. 

You started to cross a bridge but froze when Jun appeared from the other side, pointing behind him. 

“Jeonghan has unlimited ammo,” he said, ducking behind a barrier. You step behind a wall just as Jeonghan comes into sight. He didn’t see you, but he must have known you were nearby from Jun’s warning. 

“Oh yn,” he called in a sing-song voice. “I know you’re out there.” You still had a chance. He knew you were there, but he didn’t know that you were invisible (for 30 more seconds), which meant he was looking for a blue light. You figured it would give you a couple seconds of surprise and maybe you’d get a good shot off before him. 

You heard Jun groan as he got shot and knew this was your only chance. You stepped out raising your phaser before you spotted him, aiming at nothing- nothing- nothing- then at the bright green light at the end of his phaser as he turned to face you. 

You didn’t hesitate to pull the trigger. 

You felt the buzz of your phaser and cheered as Jeonghan’s armor blinked. 

“All these years and you still can’t beat me,” you said with a laugh, crossing the bridge to gloat over him. He rolled his eyes. 

“I can’t believe you’re using the same strategies,” he said. You passed him, walking backwards because you didn’t dare turn your back on him. 

“And yet they still work!” You grinned, until you felt a new buzz, your armor blinking. You whipped around, finally finding Jihoon standing below you with a smirk. 

“Oh fuck you,” you said. You ignored the laughter you heard from both Jihoon and Jeonghan, retreating to hide until your armor recovered and you were back in the game. 

You could hear Seungcheol and Chan bickering from somewhere to your right, followed by Mingyu’s shout as they apparently managed to take him down. Once your armor was glowing blue again, you ventured out, taking extra care to be aware of your surroundings. You stayed on the floor, making sure to check above you for any green light. 

You were able to take out Soonyoung two more times, Mingyu once, and you nearly got Jihoon a second time but Jun got to him first. Though there was only a minute and a half of the game left, you were determined to catch Jeonghan one more time, listening for his laugh, then for his coughing as the fog machines billowed out giant clouds. 

You were all the way around to the entrance you had come in through, the fog making it difficult to see any farther than a couple feet in front of you, which seemed like a safety hazard to you. You moved slowly, trying to pick out any light in the darkness. 

“Hands up.” His voice came from behind you. You cursed, raising your hands in the air. “Turn around.” 

“Just shoot me already,” you said. 

“I want to see your face when I beat you,” he said. “Come on.” 

You turned to face Jeonghan, rolling your eyes at his satisfied smile. “Are you going to shoot me yet?” 

“No, I’m going to enjoy this moment,” he said. You knew he was running down the clock so that you had less time to get revenge. It didn’t make it any less annoying. 

“You’d really shoot me?” You gave him your best betrayed look. “When we were married today? Only a few hours ago?” 

“Save it, you didn’t hesitate when you shot me,” he said, phaser trained at your chest where the blue light gleamed. You caught a glimpse of something behind him, a flash of blue light. 

“I regretted that,” you said, stifling a laugh. “Give me a chance to redeem myself.” 

Jeonghan paused and for a moment you thought he was actually considering it, eyes turning soft. “Fat chance-” 

His armor buzzed and flashed. 

“Who the-”

You bursted into laughter with Seungcheol as Jeonghan turned to face him. You had caught a glimpse of him while begging for your life and somehow managed to keep your face straight until he was in range. Chan trailed behind him, smiling but looking slightly concerned at the pure glee that you and Seungcheol shared. 

Jeonghan glared at you, turning the corner without a word as you high-fived Seungcheol. 

“I owe you,” you said. 

“Ready to hunt down the rest of them?” He cocked his head to the arena. “We still have a minute.” 

“Sure, I could go for a new record with Soonyoung,” you said. 

“Take the right side again, Chan go up and meet up with Jun, I’ll take the left,” Seungcheol said. Chan saluted him, though you didn’t miss him shaking his head as he climbed the stairs. He’d fit right in. 

You got Mingyu one more time just before the timer ran out, then all of the lights on your armor flickered and turned off, the arena lights turning on. You grinned at him, bumping your shoulder into his. 

“You nearly got me that time,” you said. 

“Whatever,” he said. “I still don’t think it’s fair that you got to team with Seungcheol.” 

“Would you rather me and Jeonghan were together again?” 

Mingyu hesitated. When you turned to face him, his brow was furrowed. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“You and Jeonghan are really married?” 

You held up your left hand, gold band still sitting. You hadn’t taken it off since the night he proposed. “Apparently.” 

Mingyu was quiet as you walked beside him, still frowning. 

“Okay, spill.” 

“Spill?” 

“Whatever’s wrong,” you said. “Clearly you don’t approve of me and Jeonghan, so tell me why.” 

“It’s complicated,” he said with a sigh. You stopped him just before the exit. 

“Jeonghan said it was fine, but if it’s messing up something in his life, I want to know.” You waited until he met your eyes. “He’s my best friend, you know I wouldn’t want to do anything that hurts him.” Mingyu stared at his feet and didn’t answer you. 

“Is there someone else? Someone he should be dating for real?” You were surprised at how difficult it was to say, the words leaving a foul taste in your mouth. 

Mingyu tilted his head. “Something like that.” 

It was your turn to frown. Jeonghan had dated plenty of people before and it had never bothered you. You even liked most of them, until things inevitably went wrong. Why did the idea of him having feelings for someone feel so… wrong? 

“Oh.” 

“Are you lost?” You heard Seungcheol shout. You followed Mingyu out, trying to find your smile again. Even when you saw your name at the top of the leaderboard, it was hard to really smile. 

“As expected,” you forced yourself to gloat over Jeonghan, dropping beside him on the bench. He was taking off his armor, and didn’t react to your shoulder pressed against his.  

“You’ll get ‘em next time, champ,” you said, patting his knee. He shook his head, watching Seungcheol and Mingyu argue. 

“Hey,” you said. He turned to face you, and maybe it was the way the sunlight filtering through the windows made him glow or maybe it was just the way he looked at you, but you forgot what you were going to say. 

“What is it?” He asked with a little frown. 

You blinked, trying to push the weird feelings away. “You’re a simp.” 

Jeonghan scoffed. “Since when?” 

“Since you had an easy shot and let me live,” you said. “Seriously, marriage has made you soft.” 

“You think that’s why I didn’t shoot?” He asked. He laughed at your frown. “Oh, yn,” he said, throwing an arm over your shoulder and pulling you close to him. “You may have won the game and you may have beaten me, but you betrayed your husband, and for that you at least owe me dinner.” 

“You’re so full of it,” you said, but you didn’t push him off. “You would have executed me.” 

“I’m hurt,” he said, patting his chest. “You shot me, right here. It still hurts, I’d never do that to you!” 

You rolled your eyes but you leaned into his embrace, tucking your head onto his shoulder. You remembered what Mingyu said, about his heart belonging to someone else and it sent a pang through your heart. Whoever that person was, they were going to be very lucky. Once you got out of the way. 

.

.

Your teeth hurt. Actually, your whole face ached. You struggled to open your eyes, finally managing to pry them open only to squint them closed because the lights were so bright. 

“Ah, you’re awake,” a calm voice said. You frowned at the blurry shape standing over you. “I’ll get your pick-up person.” The nice voice disappeared, leaving you to blink alone. 

They weren’t gone for long, returning with another figure that was familiar. 

“Jeonghan!” You tried to say, except there was gross stuff in your mouth making it difficult to make sounds. 

“Hey toothless,” he said, stopping beside you. He glanced at the nice-voice, who you were pretty sure was some sort of nurse since they were wearing bright green scrubs, then picked up your hand and held it. “How are you feeling?” 

“Mouf hurt,” you said. Jeonghan laughed, squeezing your hand. 

“We’ll get out of here and pick up your prescription, how’s that sound?” 

You nodded. You couldn’t tell if the tingly feeling spreading through your body was the anesthesia wearing off or from Jeonghan beside you. You stared at him, studying his face, eyebrows, nose, jawline, everything. Had he always been so handsome? 

You didn’t turn away when he caught you staring. He seemed to think it was funny, smiling down at you. Since when was his smile so sweet? 

The nice-voice nurse returned. “Okay, yn, you should be good to go, we just have a little paperwork for your husband to fill out.” 

“Huthband?” You tried to say. “I don’t have a huthband.” 

The nurse laughed. “I’m sure you can’t forget marrying someone like him.” You followed their finger, pointing at Jeonghan. 

You frowned at him for a moment, then laughed. “Jeonghan ithn’t my huthband.” 

You frowned at him as he shook his head, patting your hair. “I guess we know how well you handle anesthesia, dear.” 

Dear? You kept staring at him but the nurse handed him paperwork and he seemed to think that meant it was the end of the conversation. He let go of your hand to fill out, which made you frown even more, reaching a hand to rest on his arm. He glanced at you and shook his head at your pout. 

He scribbled on the paper, frowning a couple times but finally put the clipboard down, turning to you. He smiled at you, a warm, fond smile. Is that how married people looked at each other? You tried to return it but your swollen, gauze-filled mouth made it impossible. 

“Let’s go,” he said, returning his hand to yours. You let him pull you to your feet, leaning into his shoulder until the dizziness passed, and then you kept leaning on him because it felt nice. He didn’t protest, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and gently massaging your shoulder as you left the suite. He handed the clipboard to the nurse with a smile. 

“I see you’ve remembered your husband,” they said, winking at you. You glanced between Jeonghan and the nurse. You remembered Jeonghan—he was the boy who sat next to in second grade that never shut up about the World’s Worst Jokes (literally, it was his favorite book), the boy you finally decided to call a friend in fifth grade after he helped you catch up your schoolwork because you missed a week with strep throat. He was the boy you were no longer allowed to pair up in assignments with in middle school after you were dubbed the ‘demon duo’ by all your teachers (it was affectionate, but the Lollipop Incident of seventh grade could not be forgotten), the boy you followed around all through high school because your senses of humor just matched. 

You remembered spending countless university nights beside that boy as he kept you awake until your essays were finished, more than once saving you from the back pain of sleeping slumped over a table by forcing you into a bed. That boy had been your roommate, until a year and a half ago, spending nearly every second at your side, bickering with you about how many holes are in a straw and holding you while you cried over everything from bad grades to heartbreaks. 

You thought you would definitely remember marrying that boy. 

“I couldn’t ever forget him,” you finally said. You wished your words weren’t turned to mush by your mouth. You looked up at Jeonghan, who was smiling down at you again, squeezing your shoulder. 

He thanked the nurse, pulling you outside. You waited until the doors shut before lifting your head off his shoulder. “Are you sure we're married?” 

He laughed at your frown. “Last time I checked.” He lifted your left hand and held it with his own, matching gold bands knocking against each other. 

“Such boring rings,” you said. It was a lie; you loved the simplicity. It just seemed right for you and Jeonghan. 

“I’m never going to let you live this down,” Jeonghan muttered with a crooked smile. He walked you all the way to his car, letting go of your shoulder to open the car door for you. It was strange to see him opening doors for you, but maybe you really had forgotten dating and marriage, and maybe this was normal. You fell into the seat, exhausted from the short walk, barely working up the energy to pull your seatbelt across your shoulders. 

You felt fingers brush against your forehead and you opened your eyes to see Jeonghan brushing a strand of hair out of your eyes. He held your gaze, fingers lingering on your brow. 

“Get some rest,” he whispered. “I’ll pick up your prescription and take you home.” You nodded, the movement finally causing him to drop his fingers. You could feel the ghost of their light touch against your brow, just as you could still feel his fingers laced with yours, even as you watched him drive, both hands gripping the steering wheel. 

You closed your eyes, resting your heavy head against the seat. You were not going to fall asleep, your mouth hurt too much for that, but for once Jeonghan seemed to be avoiding the potholes so it was at least a smooth ride. You wanted to ask him about your marriage, about how you could forget crossing the line between friends and lovers. 

Somehow when you opened your eyes, he was on your street. You definitely remembered him moving out, so why was he taking you back here? 

“If we’re married, why are we going back here?” You asked as he pulled into the driveway. 

Jeonghan fought another smile. “Are you asking me to move in together?” 

“No, I’m asking why married people don’t live together,” you said. He left the car, walking around to your side and helping you out. You leaned on him again as he walked you to the door, feeling exhausted. 

“Maybe we don’t have a happy marriage,” he said nonchalantly. He pulled the keys, your keys, out of his pocket and let himself in, half-carrying you to your room. “I mean, you literally forgot we are married.” 

You shook your head as you crawled under your blankets. “No, I don’t think so. I’m really happy we’re married.” 

He pulled the blankets over you, tucking you in. “Why’s that?” He paused over you, dark hair falling into his eyes again as he looked down on you. 

“I really like you,” you said. He leaned over you, and all you wanted was to melt into those beautiful brown eyes, but your eyelids were getting heavier with each heartbeat. The last thing you remembered was Jeonghan pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. 

.

.

You watched Jeonghan at the bar. He was getting drinks but he had been stopped by some girl whose name you couldn’t quite remember. You turned to look at the dance floor; Jeonghan could talk to whoever he wanted, you didn’t have any right to care. 

The rest of your friends were scattered around the dance floor at different tables, being normal humans and socializing. Mingyu had tried to drag you into a conversation, but Eun Woo was at the table and there was no way you would deign to be anywhere near that man. 

However, that left you alone at the table your group had claimed when you arrived together, watching everyone else having fun. Names floated around your head, occasionally matching the faces of the people wandering around. Thankfully, no one you didn’t know came to say hi. 

Just last year you had been excited to go to your first high school reunion, tracking down all of your friends and making sure they kept the night free. That had been before you realized everyone else had grown up and gotten adult jobs, leaving you and your part time job to feel tiny and more than a little bit like a failure. 

Your friends got their revenge and dragged you to this year’s reunion. The worst part was, you were stuck. Because of the incident last year (which had nothing to do with you and Jeonghan and the intercom system), your former student body president (turned CEO) decided it would be best to host your reunion at a hotel under the guise of promoting safe drinking habits. They’d booked rooms for everyone and even had free (cheap) beer. You’d be impressed, if you weren’t suspicious that half the funds were from the embezzling scandal you’d heard his company had gotten caught in. 

You found Seungcheol chatting with a couple members of the baseball team. You debated joining him, but they were probably reminiscing about the games they’d played and you’d only gone to a few, so you doubted you’d be able to really contribute to the conversation. 

Seokmin and Soonyoung hadn’t left the dance floor since you arrived, though that surprised no one. The only difference between high school and now was that the alcohol in their system was legal. You were much too sober to think about joining them. Plus it had only been a couple weeks since your surgery, and though you were technically allowed to do physical activity, you used any excuse you could to avoid the chaos of Seokmin and Soonyoung on the dance floor. They were a hazard to society. 

You stood, seeing Jun walking towards his ex, but Mingyu roped him into his conversation. You glared at Eun Woo, as you were now standing awkwardly. 

A quick glance told you that Jeonghan was still stuck in line at the bar, still chatting with the same girl. Not that it bothered you. Maybe you should join him. 

You took a step, but a voice made you freeze. “Who left you all alone?” You spun, finding Minghao standing in front of you, hands buried in the pockets of his jacket. He managed a nonchalant expression until you threw yourself in his arms. 

“You came?” You half shouted with your arms around his neck. 

He laughed, catching you before you toppled him over. “Miss me?” 

“Don’t even joke! Of course I did! You left me with a bunch of idiots!” You took a step back, though you didn’t let go of his hands. Minghao. He’d gone abroad after high school and never came back, leaving a hole in the friend group that could never be replaced. Mingyu liked to call it losing the only braincell you had ever known. 

He caught your left hand, lifting it and raising his eyebrows at the gold band. “I will confess that part of the reason I came was to see if the rumor Seokmin was raving about was true.” 

You let go of his hands, leaning against your seat. “Yeah… A lot has happened since you left.” 

“Clearly.” Minghao raised his eyebrow. He scanned the room, picking out your friends, pausing at Jeonghan at the bar before turning back to you. “It’s good, though. I’m, and don’t you dare make fun of me, happy for you.” 

You frowned. “What are you talking about?” 

“I mean, Jeonghan has things figured out. Like, he has the stability that you need, he’s got a real-life job and everything, and he’s just good for you.” 

What had Seokmin told Minghao? Did he think you were married for real? 

“I’m not saying that you need to change or anything,” Minghao said quickly. “I just think it’s good for you to be with someone that isn’t… figuring out his life still.” 

“Yeah,” you said. You slid into your chair, trying not to think about how even though Minghao lived thousands of miles away, he could still see you struggling. 

“I can’t believe you didn’t invite me to the wedding,” he said, still standing beside you.  

“Oh, we just had a courthouse thing,” you said. You don’t know why you didn’t tell him the full truth. “It wasn’t a big thing.” 

“Well, when you have the real party, I better be invited.” 

Despite feeling like your heart had been crumpled into a ball, you rolled your eyes. “Minghao, you’ll be my best man.” 

He nodded. “I’d better be.” You managed a few more minutes of small talk before he slipped away to find the rest of your friends. 

His words rang through your head. Maybe you really shouldn’t be with Jeonghan, fake or not. Minghao was right, he had his life figured out; as much as he complained about his job, you knew he loved the kids and he was going to spend the rest of his life teaching. You could barely decide on what to wear every morning. Figuring out your future was something you just weren’t ready for. 

You liked Jeonghan. You knew that. You remembered your anesthesia induced dream, where you managed to tell him your feelings, the soft kiss he placed on your forehead, but it was just a dream. He didn’t feel the same way, no matter how much you wished it could be true. There was someone else he pined for, and if it was anything like the feelings that were threatening to overwhelm you now, you couldn't help but pity him. 

Your feelings didn’t matter, you decided as you watched Minghao join Soonyoung and Seokmin with a backflip in the middle of the dance floor. You wouldn’t mess up Jeonghan’s life any further. You would ask for a divorce. Tomorrow. 

Jeonghan finally returned, setting a drink in front of you and laying an arm over your shoulders. “Bear with me,” he whispered into your ear, lips almost brushing against your ear. “I can’t remember her name but she’s been flirting with me all night and even when I told her we’re married, she wouldn’t leave me alone, so, you’re stuck with me for the rest of the night.” 

You nodded. You hoped you were looking serenely on your friends, but Jeonghan gently tapped your arm until you turned to face him. “What’s wrong?” 

You shrugged. “Tired.” It wasn’t technically a lie. You were tired, but that wasn’t why you didn’t want to be here. 

He pulled his chair a little closer, resting his chin on his shoulder. You knew he was just putting on a show to drive away girl-whose-name-was-a-mystery and that the way he was looking at you now wasn’t real. It didn’t make it any easier to bear his gaze. 

He tilted his head to the side and smiled, eyes twinkling with the familiar glint that you knew meant trouble. “You want to get out of here?” 

You felt your face flush. “Stop joking around.” 

He cocked his head and you followed it to where the girl (whose name you thought started with a S) was still eyeing Jeonghan. “If we disappear into a hotel room for a couple hours maybe she’ll get the point.” He’s right, but you can’t stop yourself from imagining what he was implying, making your blush deepen. 

“You said you’re tired, you can just hide up there for the rest of the night if you want,” he said, apparently not noticing your embarrassment. “Or you can sit here and avoid everyone for the rest of the night and we can pretend like that girl isn’t eye-fucking me.” 

“Let’s go,” you said, standing. Jeonghan took your hand in his, pressing a kiss to your hand that sent shivers up your arm before tugging you across the room, playing the part of a lovesick husband perfectly. You weren’t as good, but you kept your eyes on him and found your smile wasn’t as hard to force as you expected, letting him pull you back into his embrace as you passed through the doors. You cast one glance at S, who looked rather offended. You grinned at her as the doors swung shut, winking even though she probably couldn’t see it from across the room. 

Though the show was just for her, it wasn’t until you were alone in the elevator that he finally disentangled himself from you. “Looks like it went pretty well.” 

You nodded, staring at your feet rather than facing Jeonghan at your side or in the mirrored walls of the elevator. “She looked sufficiently shut up.” 

The doors dinged open and you followed Jeonghan. “We’re rooming together, by the way.” Seungcheol had been in charge of the rooms, setting everyone with roommates and even dropping off bags. There was no reason to think that he would mess anything up. 

No reason until now. 

“There’s only one bed,” you said in a tiny voice. The door clicked shut behind you, Jeonghan at your side. You stood in the hotel room, bathroom door to your left, closet to your right, king sized bed right in the middle. “I’m going to kill Seungcheol.” 

“Actually, it was probably Mingyu,” Jeonghan said, sounding not nearly as unsettled as he should have been. “He called about our rooms and probably mentioned we were married. People I don’t even know were talking to me about it.” 

“I’m going to kill them both.” 

“It’ll be fine,” he said. “It’s not like it’s the first time.” He’s right, you had shared a bed before, when you were thirteen, and there were four other people shoved onto the bed because having twenty people in one sleepover meant you slept where there was space. “If it really bothers you, I’ll sleep on the floor, or crash with Mingyu and Seungcheol.” 

You shook your head. “No, it’s fine, they’ll just make fun of me, and you’re right, it’s not like it's the first time.” No, it was nothing like then. Your heart didn’t pound when he was next to you back then, you never looked at him and wished what was fake could be real. 

You flopped onto the bed, legs dangling off the side as you laid on your back. Your heart was beginning to ache thinking about Jeonghan, so you thought about what Minghao said instead. Most of the time you could pretend you were okay with watching everyone you knew move on with their lives and grow into actual adults, but a night like tonight made you feel small. Insignificant. You were yn. Just yn, and normally that was enough, but not tonight. 

You felt the bed dip as Jeonghan sat next to you. “Do you want to talk about it?” Of course he knew something was wrong. You turned your head towards him, studying his frown which had concern etched into every crease on his forehead. 

You didn’t think you were choked up, but when you said, “No,” in a tiny voice, tears were suddenly threatening to spill onto your cheeks. You turned your head away from Jeonghan, sure that you would fold under his gaze and start crying. 

“You should just go back down,” you said. “I’ll be fine.” 

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said, voice gentle but firm. “You’re stuck with me.” You felt a tear slip away, angrily wiping it off the side of your face. “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but I won’t leave you alone, yn. I—I won’t.” 

Why? Why did he have to be so kind, and sweet, and loving, and the perfect best friend, fake fiancee, fake husband? Why did he make it so hard to do anything but love him? 

Love wasn’t fair, you always knew that, but it felt cruel now. You couldn’t stop the tears now, turning fully on your side though it was too late to hide them from Jeonghan. He slid next to you, pulling you off the mattress and into his arms, and you knew it was dumb to sob into the arms of the very person that was making you cry but you did it anyway because maybe that’s what you were doomed to suffer. You clung to him, even as your heart was breaking. 

.

.

You woke up to the sun in your eyes. You frowned as you opened your eyes, blinking against the light. Usually you closed your blinds so that you could sleep in. It took another moment for you to remember that you were in a hotel room, not your bed at home. That didn’t explain why Jeonghan was wrapped around you, his arm acting as your pillow. Your frown deepened as you met his eyes, finding him staring down at you. 

“Why are we cuddling?” 

He snorted. “I should be asking you that, since I clearly remember telling you this is my side of the bed last night.” You lifted your head off of him enough to see that you had indeed crossed onto his side. But he wasn’t innocent either, with one arm tucked under your head and the other wrapped around your waist, holding your bodies together. You decided not to mention it because you didn’t want him to let go just yet. 

“How long have you been up?” You asked with a yawn. 

He shrugged, shoulder lifting your head. “I don’t know, maybe twenty minutes?” 

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” You said, gently slapping his chest. 

“You looked peaceful,” he said. You looked at him, peering down at you with a soft smile. The morning sunlight that fell through the window cast a halo around him, making his dark hair glow. There was something in his gaze, something you had seen so many times but suddenly felt new, and for the first time you let yourself wonder what it would be like if your feelings weren’t unrequited. Maybe you were still dazed from waking up, but you thought maybe it wouldn’t be very different from how he was with you now. 

“Jeonghan,” you said slowly. “Mingyu mentioned something to me.” 

“Oh boy.” 

“About you.” Your heart was pounding as you forced the next words out. “About how there’s someone that you want to date. For real.” 

He was quiet, though he didn’t break your gaze. Finally, he said, “Yes.” 

It took all of the courage you had in you to say, “Who?” 

He stared at you and because it was Jeonghan, you knew he was trying to figure out what to say. You could practically see the gears turning in his head as he tried to get the words out. The longer it took the more your heart sank. 

“We should get divorced,” you said, turning your head to stare at the window, the wall, anything but those damn eyes. “Teeth have been successfully removed, I’m not in debt, and there’s no other reason to stay married.” Especially not when there’s someone else. You couldn’t quite bring yourself to say it. 

You peeked at Jeonghan and found you couldn’t decipher the frown on his face. It felt wrong to not know what he was thinking. But maybe it was your own fault. You had been keeping things from him yourself, bottling up the emotions and pretending the love you felt wasn’t head over heels idiocy. You couldn’t be hurt that he was so far away when you had built the distance yourself. 

“I love you,” you whispered. “I’m in love with you. I know that there’s someone else, and I’m not saying this to try to win you over or anything, but I think you should know. That I love you.” 

 You’ve seen Jeonghan speechless three times in your life. The first was in elementary school when he was wrongfully accused of stealing candy from the teacher, the first time he found out there were consequences for his “harmless” pranks. The second was when his girlfriend dumped him, the only time in your entire life that he didn’t tell you what happened. This was the third time, opening his mouth and trying to answer but unable to get any words out. 

“I’m an idiot, I know,” you said. “Who falls in love with their fake husband?” Even as the final stake was driven into your heart, you tried to joke. You started to push off his chest, fully prepared to run away and avoid Jeonghan for the rest of your life, but his arm tightened around your waist, pulling you even closer. 

“It’s you,” he sputtered. “There’s no one else, it’s you that I want to be with, that I want to date, that I want to marry, one day. Yn, I have loved you for so long, I don’t know what to do, so please, just give me a second?” 

It was your turn to be speechless. “It’s me?”  

He laughed, face finally breaking into a wide smile. “Of course it’s you, who else could it be?” 

“Maybe one of those moms that Mingyu says are always flirting with him, or one of your coworkers, or anyone that’s ever met you because, seriously, how could anyone not be in love with you?” You rested your head back onto his shoulder. 

“Well, it’s you. It’s always you.” He leaned a little closer, brushing his nose against yours. You swallowed, remembering your first kiss with him. You wondered if your second kiss would be as good. 

“Can I kiss you?” You asked when he didn’t move any closer. He nodded, though the movement caused your lips to brush against one another. You leaned into it, arm snaking from his chest to his neck, feeling his hand digging into your waist, trying to pull you impossibly closer. You don’t know how long the kiss was, feeling like a lifetime had passed when you finally pulled away. 

“Not quite as good as the first time, but it’ll do,” you said, grinning at Jeonghan’s frown. “You have stinky breath.” 

“You have stinky breath,” he said, “But if you’re talking about the restaurant, that wasn’t our first kiss.” 

You thought back, trying to remember any other kiss. There was none during your fake marriage (other than the anesthesia-induced dream that you were beginning to think might have been real) and nothing had ever happened before that. Except… 

“When we were twelve?” You laughed. “That does not count.”

“A kiss is a kiss,” he said. “In fact, I remember you saying it was your first kiss.”

You slapped his chest. “It was your first kiss too!” 

“So you admit it!” Jeonghan was laughing, clinging to you as you pretended to push him away. He wrapped both arms around your waist, tucking his chin onto your shoulder. He waited until you met his eyes. “I love you.” 

You kissed his nose. “I love you, too.” You didn’t run away when he pulled you close again, sliding cold fingers to the back of your neck and pressing his forehead to yours. You were certain he was going to kiss you again. 

“We really do need to get divorced, though,” you said, laughing when he sighed. “I want to do things in the right order, date you for real.” You kissed him again, just because you could, watching the smile quickly return to his face when you pulled away. 

“I do want to marry you, one day,” you said, resting your head against the pillow for the first time. You held up your left hand, studying the way the gold caught the morning light and seemed to glow. 

“You better not say that in front of Joshua,” Jeonghan said. “He’s had our wedding planned since he found out I was in love with you.” 

“Wait, he knows?” You frowned at him. “How long have you been in love with me?” 

Jeonghan’s eyes wandered to the ceiling as he scratched the back of his head. “Been in love? No idea. Too long. But when I realized, we were still living together, and ever since then I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you.” 

“That’s why you moved out?” You wrapped your arm around his waist, tucking yourself onto his side. 

He nodded. “I needed to know if I was actually in love or just spending too much time with you.” He played with your hair. “I am in love with you. And I’m sorry I was too much of a coward to say it sooner.” 

You found yourself staring at the ring again. It was such a simple thing, just a band of gold that you and Jeonghan had agreed on with the intent to return it when the ruse was up. You really had only gotten them because you were worried someone might call out the insurance fraud. 

“I don’t want to take it off,” you confessed. 

“Then don’t,” Jeonghan said softly. When you looked at him, he was without his usual smirk, eyes serious. 

“Five minutes and you’re already proposing?” You asked. 

“Well, I already got you into bed,” he said with a grin. “But seriously, I don’t want to take off my ring. I’m going to marry you, someday.” 

“I think that sounds nice,” you said, tucking your head back onto his chest. “So, Joshua is our wedding planner? Do we really trust him?” 

“You know, if you told me a year ago, I would have said ‘fuck no,’ but he’s dedicated. He has a pinterest and everything, a color scheme, a list of the best rated bakeries and catering services, photographers, videographers, venues, anything you can think of, he has it. I can’t prove it, but I swear he has a date reserved already.” Jeonghan continued to describe his friend’s vision for your wedding, but you found yourself staring at him, watching him talk. 

 Jeonghan has been by your side for most of your life, your best friend. You knew everything about him, from the way he liked his tea to his obsession with tiny utensils. Still, being friends and being lovers were two very different things. You should have been scared at how much was going to change, but in the little bubble of your hotel room and the magical glow of the morning sun, you felt nothing but hope.

a/n2: thank you for reading!!! I hope you had fun, I truly love this story <3 enjoy this meme I found after i came up with the idea and couldn’t find anywhere to throw it into

a/n3: i am incapable of letting this story go so here are some snippets of stuff that didn’t make it into the story/after the ending 1 //

operation: sweet talk ➢ lee heeseung.

SYNOPSIS ➷ you and quiet, popular boy lee heeseung share being at the top of the food chain at your uni, and there’s no secret you’re smitten. though you’ve never spoken a word to each other, you seem to notice his eyes are always on you. tempted with the possibility he might just like you back, you’re thrown into a challenge where you must prove his feelings for you before the school year ends. let the games begin?

[ word count: 16k ]

PAIRING ➷ lee heeseung x reader

GENRE ➷ fluff, frenemies to lovers (?)

WARNINGS ➷ eventual smut. ( minors dni! )

a/n: GUYSSSS ✋ WITH THE WAY HEESEUNG IS LOOKIN LATELY YOU KNOW I JUST HAD TO WHIP SOMETHIN UP NHHHHH 😩 i had a lot of fun writing this so i hope you guys enjoy this lengthy little fic B) p.s, i’m not entirely sure how pool works so please don’t come for me.. ;$?3!2:’ also, there is sexual themes included, so minors please dni! all interactions are deeply appreciated, but reblogs are highly encouraged! tysm for reading. ♡

“ryung,” you whine softly, an outstretched hand wrapping around your boy best friend’s arm. “don’t leave me here alone.” your voice is hushed and desperate over the variety of chatter that slurs from the figures situated at the bar, soothing jazz music muffled by their overlapping murmurs.

“y/n.” your friend giggles, a bony, outstretched finger pushing up the middle bridge of his glasses. you watch his bouncy, chocolate curls fall over his golden, round frames. “i’m just going to the bathroom.” a small, half smile travels up his chapstick slathered lips, his unbuttoned hawaiian-printed shirt catching the soft brushes of the air conditioning. he quirks a thick eyebrow at you, hidden by his curvy fringe. “i’ll be quick. heeseung seems to have no problem with watching over you.”

you groan as you throw your friend a glare, watching as he pokes his tongue out at you in reply. your eyes follow his figure throughout the crowded room, slipping the straw of your chocolate milkshake between your lips. you’ve propped yourself onto the countertop against the large window, your legs dangling back and forth just above the suede, carpeted floor. you’re watching your friends as they surround the pool table just a few feet in front of you, letting out loud hoots and hollers and harsh slaps to each other’s backs.

the harsh, orange tinted lights above you sears your skin in the most aggravating fashion, a soft sigh slipping from your lips as you push your hair back away from your forehead. you always hate coming to these things, but as a part of the cheer squad and your best friend being on the football team, it’s almost mandatory for you and your reputation.

you keep your half lidded eyes focused on the blond haired boy positioning his pool stick rather meticulously across the green felt, when you can already feel those all-too familiar eyes on you under the iridescent lights.

peering up slyly through the lines of your long, mascara coated lashes, you pose your gaze directly into heeseung’s. he’s propped himself up on the countertop on the other side of the pool table, his thighs spread generously against the marble surface. suyun, one of your cheermates, is laid out horizontally down the length of the countertop, her head positioned tautly on the meat of his thigh. your glossy stare is hidden by the shadows creeping out from behind the orange, stark lamp above you, allowing yourself the advantage of examining his slouched, sitting figure.

his pink lips seem to be embracing the end of a pencil dented with bites, his teeth softly chewing the wood. the spine of an opened black, tattered notebook is settled up against the crown of the girl’s head. his unreadable eyes outlined in dark makeup study you for a second longer, before immediately clipping over towards the chaos by the pool table.

you wish you knew what kind of thoughts conjured from behind the orbs of his emotionless eyes as he looks at you, like he always does. your heart springs up inside your chest as you follow his eyes to the pool table, where your head doesn’t stop replaying his intimidating gaze. it wasn’t until a loud, “y/n, you wanna have a go at it?” that you were jostled from your eyeliner-ridden daydreams. you part your drying lips and furrow your brows as you blink yourself back into reality, aware of all the curious eyes now pointed towards you.

you shake your head softly, the straw of your milkshake pushing a dent into the soft skin of your bottom lip. “uh, no thanks. i don’t know how to play.” you let a forced chuckle roll out off of your tongue as you watch your blond friend roll his eyes, offering his pool stick to you.

“c’mon…. it’s not that hard.” you shake your head at him one more time before he scoffs softly with a shake of his head, lowering his stick as he begins making his way towards heeseung. “here,” he turns his body in your direction while he outstretches the stick to the perched boy, his dark eyebrows raised and a smirk growing on his thin lips. “heeseung will show you how it’s done.”

you swallow softly in your throat as you watch the girl on his lap slowly rise from his thigh, a disgruntled expression across her mousy features. heeseung seems a bit taken aback, but still amused and eager nonetheless. his eyebrows are raised as he gently slips the pool stick from the blond boy’s hand, a shy half smile up his pink lips. he jumps off of the counter and heads over towards the pool table with a teasing, long sigh that jostles his shoulders, his fingers rotating the long sliver of wood between them in a show-off manner.

you study him carefully as he bends his upper half over the table, positioning the pool stick accordingly. you hear whispered hushes and murmurs sprinkle themselves throughout the crowd of your friends circled around the tall boy. “what’d i miss?” you suddenly hear ryung whisper into your ear, sounding slightly out of breath.

“just watch….”

in a swift, sharp manner, the tall boy then suddenly clicks the end of the stick up against one of the plastic balls, sending it into one of the corner pockets. hoots and hollers and loud cheers then burst from the excited mouths of your friends. even a small “wow,” whispered from ryung is heard by your ear.

“alright, y/n,” the blond boy, named hwang, then turns to you, after unnecessarily beating the shit out of heeseung’s broad back. “did you see that? you gotta come up here now!” he widens his eyes at you before tugging on your hand, unwillingly pulling you up into the spotlight.

“i’ll play for her!” you hear ryung chirp behind you.

hwang groans, “can it, pretty boy.”

you swallow nervously in your throat as you hike your hoodie sleeves up, preparing to fail miserably. heeseung is now turning towards you, his lanky figure now towered over your rather somewhat short self, his gaze intense under downturned, smokey eyelids. he doesn’t say anything to you, which is nothing but normal, and slides the pool stick into your sweaty palm with a smirk teetering on the edge of his lip.

he then positions himself beside you, which makes you very self conscious and very aware of his sweat-overridden cologne and close body heat. he places his palms on the edge of the table to lean his weight into his arms, gaze ready to witness your move. the sweat beading along your tightened brows drips rather slowly down the smooth curve of your temple. you go over heeseung’s actions in your mind and slowly begin to mimic them, perching yourself over the pool table and positioning the stick up against one of the plastic pool balls.

you remind yourself not to take this harmless, fun activity too seriously, but with heeseung’s tequila scented breath breathing down your neck, you just can’t help it. you don’t know if you’re doing it right or if you look absolutely stupid, because the tall boy beside you is not saying a single word. out of frustration and slight embarrassment, you quickly clink the end of the stick up against the ball. fortunately for you, it slides right into one of the corner pockets just like heeseung’s had.

more cheers of excitement rush into the pits of your eardrums as you’re suddenly being jolted forward into the pool table by the firm, hard hands of everybody around you. your brain was suddenly clouded by the loud hoots and hollers that you didn’t even have time to register the surprising, unfamiliar voice you never thought you’d hear in a million years whisper right by your ear, “atta girl, that wasn’t too hard, now was it?”

“y/n…. did you hear what i said?” ryung shoves his shoulder lightly into your arm, the faint clicks of your shoes echoing across the tiled, cafeteria floor. the two of you weave your way around the crowded round tables of the bustling lunch room, knuckles white as you grip the edges of your red, plastic tray rather tightly without knowledge.

“yeah, you said….” you mumble, eyebrows furrowed as your brain replays the seven second phrase whispered by a delightfully sultry voice. atta girl.. that wasn’t too hard, now was it? “something about…..”

“you’re thinking about heeseung again, aren’t you?” ryung asks you in a rather displeased tone, followed by a soft groan. he picks up his pace towards your designated lunch table surrounded by your friends, leaving you in the dust just a few feet behind him.

your cheeks bloom red with an embarrassed twinge traveling up your spine, settling your tray onto the plastic tabletop as you take your seat beside your friend. a boy named jay sits across from you, his black hoodie hiked up over his blond-dyed curls. his leg is bobbing in a rather frantic fashion, a black fingerless gloved hand plucking a sad, soggy fry out of its parchment paper. “nice of you to join us, gang.”

“jay, you’re my new best friend now.” ryung declares with a mock-frown present on his lips, pushing his tray further across the table so he can fold his arms on top of it. he flicks his head over towards you, teasingly throwing a glare your way. “this one is too lovesick for me to handle.”

“you’re still hung up on heeseung?” jay asks in bewilderment, his eyebrows raising high behind platinum curls. “the weird, artsy boy that everyone likes because he wears eyeliner?” you hear a couple of muffled chuckles across the table that you meekly roll your eyes at, prodding your pathetic lunch food with a fork.

“stop judging me.”

“i’m not judging you.” jay only shrugs, his eyebrows furrowing together as he reaches for another fry. he throws it in the air to catch it into his mouth, but it only misses and boomerangs off of his chin. “i just thought you’d be over it by now, considering he’s practically glued to my stepsister. also, his locker probably gets raided with love notes like, everyday. overrated, in my opinion.”

your mouth falls slightly ajar, your fork stopping it’s torturing against your mysterious lunch meat. you process jay’s words as you painfully watch jay pluck the fry from the floor and plop it into his mouth. “is suyun your stepsister?” you suddenly remember the events from the bar and that girl who had laid her head on heeseung’s lap.

ryung hisses in disgust. “you did not just eat that!”

“i did just eat that, ryung.” jay murmurs in reply mid-chew, throwing the disgusted boy a lazy wink. he then flicks his eyes back to you, an amused curve lifting at his lip in satisfaction of your reaction. “yeah, suyun’s my stepsister. she’s like, obsessed with him. they’re always out doing shit.”

“are they like….” a rosace tint blossoms in your cheeks at your approaching question, avoiding jay’s intense eyes for a lick of a second. “are they… dating?” you’ve never interacted with suyun enough to know this type of information, considering she acts like you don’t exist most of the time.

jay furrows his brows and scrunches up his nose, taking a quick swig of his mysteriously green colored drink. “no, no,” he shakes his head, hiking up his hoodie sleeves. a teacher quickly swoops behind him to pull the hood off of his head, but he quickly pulls it back over his blond curls. “no, she just has a freaky fixation with him. kinda feel bad for the poor guy, my stepsister is a train-wreck. biggest brat you’ve ever seen, always gets what she wants.”

you’re not gonna lie to yourself and say that a little glimmer of hope didn’t flicker behind the irises of your eyes, your teeth nibbling at your bottom lip. jay leans his body to the side to peer out at something behind you, his chin nodding briefly. “see, she’s sitting with him right now.” ryung and all of your other friends quickly turn their heads to follow jay’s gaze. “talking his head off. probably didn’t give him a choice. someone needs to rescue him from that embodiment of arsenic.”

you suddenly feel a punch in your arm, a quiet yelp slipping past your lips as you throw a glare over at a cheesing ryung. “i say y/n should.” heat swells up your neck. “he’d probably like that. you said he’s always staring at you, right? maybe he likes you back.”

“ryung.” you knit your eyebrows together, reaching your warm palm up to rub at the spot he punched. “ryung.. no.”

“ryung, yes.” jay suddenly exclaims, his eyebrows raising high into his forehead. a malicious yet curious smile lingers at the edges of his lips, as if a lightbulb just flickered on into his head. “please just ask him out. i’d love to see that witch get her broom shoved up her ass.”

“jay… please don’t say that ever again.” ryung whines, squeezing his eyes shut as he begins rubbing his index fingers along his temples. “you give me ulcers.”

“jay,” you furrow your brows and begin prodding at your lunch meat with your fork again, anxiety blooming inside your stomach as you avoid the blond boy’s eyes. “that’d be an embarrassment. i know he doesn’t like me. plus, i don’t want suyun to hate me even more than she does.”

“y/n,” ryung groans, “if he likes you more than suyun, then it isn’t your fault. plus, i see the way he stares at you. almost like he’s gonna jump your bones. it’s kinda scary. i think it’s all the eyeliner.” the boy then suddenly ducks his head down, his hands going to cover the top of his head at the incoming fry that just flew over him.

“probably the eyeliner.” jay says in reply, chucking another fry towards ryung’s head, followed by a squeak from the boy. “if he’s going for an edward cullen look, it’s not really working. maybe more like edward cullen about to pounce on a neck. y/n, you better stock up on some turtlenecks.”

“i don’t think edward cullen wears eyeliner.” ryung chirps from under the table, awaiting another fry bullet to shoot his way.

“yeah yeah, you just like to disagree with me, ryung. another word and you earn yourself another fry to the face.”

“y/n,” ryung chirps from under the table, poking his head out to peer up at you over his rounded, wired frames. “you’ve been drooling over heeseung for ages. i think you should make a move.”

“yeah, and fast.” jay chimes in, standing up to get a better view of ryung. he squints his eyes and points his fry right at the sight of a brown curl peeking out from over the table. “suyun’s planning on asking him out before summer break. heard her say it on the phone.”

“guys.” you groan, folding your arms over the table so you can bury your head into them. “i’m not asking him out.” you hear ryung squeak as a slight thud echoes off of his head.

“then get him to ask you out!” the boy under the table exclaims, a sudden ambush of fries flying over in his direction. “i’m tired of hearing you pine.. and of you zoning out. i was trying to talk about how my new bike already has a flat tire.”

“i’d zone out, too.”

“shut up, jay.”

“would you help me, ryung?” you pitifully ask the boy, your question muffled by the fabric of your shirt sleeves. “help me do it…. please.”

“of course, y/n.” ryung peeks out from under the table at jay, squinting his eyes over at his now sitting figure. ryung slowly climbs back into his seat, not breaking eye contact with the scheming blond boy. “consider it….” ryung mumbles, as the two boy’s begin sizing each other up. “operation… sweet talk.”

“ryung… is the notebook necessary?” you groan, letting your chin rest comfortably in the middle of your palm. you and your friend were seated in a stark, blue booth at your usual meeting place, where you hang around with your cheer-mates and the football team after a game. the local diner.

“hm,” ryung taps the end of a blue-ink pen against the curve of his chin, a miniature, spiral notebook fallen open on top of the plastic tabletop in front of him. “yes,” he mumbles, his dark eyebrows tightened into a line as he narrows his eyes at you. “yes, it is necessary. operation sweet talk is in session.”

“this feels like an interrogation.”

“tell me, y/n,” ryung begins lowly in a teasing, serious tone. he leans forward into the table and clasps his hands together in front of him, tonguing the inside of his cheek. you watch the silver chainlink of his necklace fold over against his notebook. “do you see heeseung often at school?”

“um.” you begin, nibbling on your bottom lip. you avert your gaze onto the mustard and ketchup bottles situated in the middle of the table as you think to yourself, glimpses and memories of your school life painting itself across the canvas of your brain. you can only ever remember seeing heeseung at lunch, sitting all the way on the other side of the cafeteria, doodling in a notebook like he always does. “no,” you shake your head softly. “i rarely am within like, ten feet from him.”

“interesting…” ryung mumbles, quirking a brow. he pushes the bridge of his gold frames up his sloped nose, his eyes scanning you up and down before picking up his pen and hunching over his notebook, scribbling fast-paced writings into its crisp page. “… that is so sad. i might have a better chance at asking him out, then.”

you furrow your eyebrows at the brunette boy, lifting the straw of your styrofoam cup to your lips, sucking up the slow, chocolate milkshake inside. “what is that supposed to mean?”

“what i mean,” ryung sighs, lifting up his thick eyebrows. he straightens up his spine to give you a stern look, tapping the end of his pen against his open page. “he’s always sitting up there on the bleachers when i have practice.” he lets out a soft snort, an amused curve lifting to the corner of his lips. “he probably knows more about my existence than yours.”

at the end of ryung’s discouraging statement, you immediately lift your head up from your palm, your eyes widening and your lips falling ajar. “ryung!” you excitedly exclaim, slapping your palm to the middle of the table. “that’s it! that’s the plan!”

the boy quirks his brow at your sudden enlightenment, his eyebrows knitting together slowly. “you…. want me to ask him out for you? that’s kinda…” the boy’s eyes avert to his briefly scribbled page, his facial expression scrunching up with cringe. “that’s kind of…. a terrible, pathetic idea…”

“no, stupid.” you groan, grabbing the pen settled in the middle of his notebook to begin tapping it against the plastic table repeatedly. for affect, of course. “i’ll start coming to your practices so i can talk to him!”

“oh!” the boy chuckles, adjusting the temples of his glasses subtly. “that makes more sense. kind of offended that’s the only way you’d come to my practices, though, y/n.”

“you know how much i hate football, ryung.” you reply teasingly, attempting to flip the pen through your fingers, but failing miserably. “it’s painfully boring.” you watch the boy slowly shake his head at you as a soft chuckle breathes through his parted, pink lips, letting his back fall against the back of the booth.

“if heeseung was the quarterback, it wouldn’t be so boring, now would it?”

“you got me there.” you mumble with an amused smirk, your attention suddenly being pulled away from ryung’s round face to the movement of the diner’s glass doors opening. your mood immediately falters when you recognize the familiar faces flooding right into your territory, faces you’d rather remember in the confinements of football games and the girls’ locker room.

“just why are they here right now?” you whine quietly to ryung, who throws his head back to take a look after being witness to your sorrowful displeasure. ryung then let’s out a groan, the two of you watching the whole football team and your cheer squad make their way to the front counter.

“hey, where’s jay?” ryung mutters with a soft pout, his neck straining as he tilts his head to scan the unnecessarily large group crowding the counter. “i don’t see him.”

“why would jay wanna hang out with these dumb idiots off the field?” you mumble hastily as you slip your bottom lip between your teeth, your brain frantically trying to scheme a way out of here without being seen.

“you know, y/n…. you have a point.”

“let’s go, they’re distracted.” you whisper to your friend as you lean in closer into the table, making sure he can hear you. you keep your eyes trained on the occupied group as you slowly reach over to close ryung’s notebook with the pen settled in the middle of it, sliding it over to yourself. your fingers itch with anticipation as you and ryung scoot yourselves to the end of your seats, preparing to make a run for it. “okay, let’s—”

to your horror, you and ryung painfully watch as hwang, who was located in the back of the malevolent herd of scoundrels, whips right around and begins walking towards the two of you with an idiotic, dopey smile to his pointed features. ah, fuck. you and ryung exchange miserable looks as you both begin sadly sliding yourselves back into your booths. “hey, look, it’s you freakin’ potheads!” hwang calls out loudly in the middle of the diner, his arms outstretched as he makes his way over. now, everyone, including the turd herd, have their heads turned directly towards you. awesome.

“we don’t even smoke weed.” ryung chokes out as hwang begins crushing his ribs in an uncomfortable looking, bent over, side hug.

“sure ya do, you little twink.” hwang chuckles loudly into ryung’s ear, ruffling up the top of his head with his knuckle. “you little lovebirds are gonna bring me some at our football party this saturday, alright? and then we can all partake in a three-way orgy stoned off our fuckin’ heads!”

“for the last time.” you groan, your cheeks flushing with irritation, your leg bobbing with the impatient urge to kick this obnoxious man right where the sun doesn’t shine. “me and ryung aren’t dating. and there will be no baked threesomes. now,” you slide back to the edge of your booth, slowly standing to your feet with ryung’s notebook under your arm. “will you excuse us, we will be leaving now.”

“but we just got here, man!” hwang whines with knitted eyebrows, his blue letterman jacket sliding off of his broad shoulder. he lets go of ryung, and immediately, the two of you quickly slide past hwang’s clutches and weave your way down the expanse of the diner, practically running out through the glass doors to avoid any more mind-numbing interactions.

“hey!” hwang calls as he watches the two of you leave with a soft pout to his lips. “so the kind weed donation is off or what?!”

you can already see him as you squint through the thin lines of your touching eyelashes, shielding your retinas from the harsh rays of serene sunlight. there, perched perfectly on the highest metal rung of bleachers tucked in the far left corner, sat heeseung, his back leaned over into a notebook that sat carefully against his knees.

the gravel crunches below your black converses, your fists folded neatly away in the comfort of your jean pockets. “just go up there.” ryung, who is walking beside you, leans over to mumble quietly into your ear. “and make some small talk.” you let out an anxious whine as you attempt blinking away the intruding sunlight, the football field and heeseung’s sitting figure bleeding closer into your proximity.

you hope the expensive, vanilla perfume you bought online from a tarot card reader wasn’t polluting the air from the amount you sprayed onto your neck. you might have applied a generous amount, but hey, ryung hasn’t pointed it out yet. so just maybe you and the environment around you were safe.

“don’t be a wuss.” ryung teases, the curve of his lip hiking up as he lightly hits you in the butt with his football helmet, his gaze lingering on you through the absence of his usual glasses. “if you end up chickening out on operation sweet talk, might just give him my own number.”

“shut up.” you groan with an amused tilt of your lips, shoving him lightly in his shoulder pad. he lets out a small giggle as the football field now is nothing but a few feet away from you, ryung shortly departing from your lonesome, nervous self.

“hey,” he calls out, throwing his head back as he jogs towards the open part in the fence. he outstretches his arm to point at you with his helmet. “i believe in you! whatever overly sweet spray you’ve got on will do wonders!” you only glare at him meekly before heading down the gravel over towards the bleachers, your heart beating up inside your ears.

“okay, y/n.” you whisper to yourself, your fists growing sweaty in your pockets. “you can do this.” you take a long, deep breath before slowly perching your foot up onto the first metal stair on the end of the bleachers, thanking every god in the sky that heeseung hasn’t looked up yet. as you begin slowly up the steps, your cheeks suddenly flush crimson at the loud echo of metal that rings out with your every step. you wince, not even daring to bat heeseung an eye, knowing he’s probably already staring at you now.

your body flushes with heat as you decide to just pick up your pace, finally stepping onto the final stair, right at the row where heeseung was sitting. you quickly glance over at him, relieved that he’s still just scribbling in that notebook. the slight breeze of the summer weather wafts heeseung’s woodsy cologne right into your nose. you feel as if you could lift yourself off the ground any moment and float your way right over to him, following his scent like a childish cartoon. you quickly blink your aroma-induced lust away and slowly begin making your way down the bleacher aisle.

you feel a little awkward as you sit yourself down a good distance away from the doodling boy. oh god, you think to yourself, i hope ryung isn’t watching me right now. you chew on your bottom lip, your mind suddenly surging with panic as long, painful seconds go by of you just sitting in silence while you listen to heeseung’s pencil scribble against his notebook. god, take me now please.

“um,” you croak out, your heart leaping up your esophagus. you take a shaky breath and furrow your brows down at your shoes. you immediately let the first thought roll off of your tongue without thought. “do you… smell that too?”

heeseung, as if he didn’t even realize someone had seated themselves beside him, immediately snaps his head over towards you, his eyebrows raised into his forehead. he plucks out his earbud that you didn’t even realize he had in, and holds it at his ear, plopping his pencil into the middle of his notebook. “i’m sorry?” he asks softly, his eyebrows furrowing together as he chews on blue raspberry bubblegum between his pearly teeth.

“n-nothing.” you mumble, furrowing your brows nervously as you quickly shake your head. “u-um,” you avert your gaze to his open notebook, a messy sketch of the football field scribbled onto its page. “what’re you uh… what’re you drawing?”

the boy immediately tilts his head down to his drawing, his silver hoop earrings rattling behind overgrown curls of perfectly messy chocolate hair. “uh, well,” he begins with a soft clear of his throat, the corner of his glossy lips curving up slightly as he examines his doodle. “you see the different hues of blue just above the horizon line?” heeseung mumbles, looking up briefly to point a gold ring encircled finger out towards the sky. “just always looks the prettiest up here. so… i just …. just like sketching it sometimes.”

“oh,” you croak softly, your eyebrows raising as you scoot yourself just a little closer to him to examine his sketch better. he notices your movements and tilts his notebook more into your view with a ring embroidered hand, his loud, noisy music blaring subtly from his exposed earbud. “that’s actually really good.”

“you think so?” heeseung mumbles with a quirk of his brow, the corner of his lip still raised. his eyes flicker carefully among the contents of his page. “thank you, i appreciate it. so, uh, come up here to watch the practice, or what?”

“uh, yeah.” you begin, your eyes then turning to peer out at the variety of players scattered along the football field, subconsciously looking for your four eyed friend. “you see number 12 out there?” you suddenly ask when you spot ryung in the middle of the field. you point your finger out towards him, heeseung’s gaze following it. “i’m here to watch him, actually.”

heeseung’s lips fall ajar slightly, his chin ticking up in realization. “oh,” he mumbles, his eyebrows raising. he then looks back down at his notebook, observing his drawing with furrowed eyebrows. “alright.”

tense silence suddenly surrounds the air encircling both of you, twiddling your thumbs awkwardly as you desperately and quickly try to flick through the files inside your brain for something to say, something to really make an impression. your ears are suddenly met with pencil on paper again, and a brief click of heeseung’s tongue beats you to the podium.

“good job at pool the other day,” heeseung mumbles through a subtle, sly curve of his lip, eyebrows slowly furrowing as he seems to be focused on outlining the white patterns of his drawn football field. “by the way.” he quickly adds, sweat beginning to gleam against his exposed biceps. he quickly flips his pencil in his palm to erase a wonky curve, the wood clanking with his chunky finger jewelry.

for some reason this brings heat to the apples of your cheeks, your brain running a mile a minute. you didn’t notice your mind had completely ran dry until heeseung lifts his head up towards you at your silence, his smirk parting to reveal the bottoms of his lined teeth. “thanks,” you finally nervously chuckle, reaching a hand up to brush back the hair in your face. “it really was just… just luck, to be honest.” the way heeseung had paused his pencil movements to study your reddening face, makes sweat bead along your brow.

his hooded gaze lingers just a second longer, the black t-shirt he had stuffed up under his studded belt sticks to his slouched abdomen from the brushes of the breeze. you try your best not to look. “you’ve never played pool before?” he finally asks you softly, flicking out of his stare to go back to shading his drawing. the slight curve of his lip and the tones of his statements almost feel as if he’s playing with you, teasing with you, toying with how much information you’re willing to give him.

“no, actually.” you finally reply, watching the tip of his pencil slowly curve against his page as he outlines the horizon. “that was… my first time. like ever.”

“yeah?” he quirks, the curve growing against his pink lips. “you’ve got… you’ve got some potential. if you let me teach you how to really play, we could put that potential to use, y/n.”

“i don’t know about that,” you nervously chuckle, your eyelids squinting against the beaming sun as you lift your head up to gaze out into the football field, your eyes following your curly haired friend as he rushes down the grass with a football under his arm. “i don’t really want to improve in that area. not really something i’d ever wanna do again. ever. but… i appreciate the offer, god of pool.”

right after the words roll off your tongue, heeseung immediately throws his head back in breathy chuckles, his eyes squeezing shut. “wow.” he mutters amusingly, shaking his head subtly as he playfully tongues the inside of his cheek. “don’t think i’ve ever been called that before. not sure if i should be…. flattered or offended.”

“maybe both.” you mumble teasingly, your gaze shifting back to his now fully drawn football field. your eyes roam around the curves and shadings of the sky horizon, your eyebrows raising with genuine impression.

suddenly, a lightbulb goes off into your head, a malicious grin pressing at the back of your lips as the most cunning idea of getting heeseung’s attention slithers through the crevices of your brain. you bat your eyelashes over at him innocently. “hey, have you ever… drawn people?”

his eyes immediately flicker back over to yours, his teeth beginning to nibble on his bottom lip curiously. his eyebrows furrow and he cocks his head slightly at you, his eyes traveling around your features as if trying to read you. he then slips his lip out of his teeth with a sharp, hushed chuckle, picking up his pencil and hunching back over his notebook, scribbling lightly against his drawn fence of the football field. “uh, no,” he mumbles, that amused smirk still teetering on the edge of his lip. “i can’t say that i have.” he then mumbles his next sentence with a curious, almost sultry tone that you recognize all too well. he blows a quick blue bubble with his gum, before it pops seconds after. “why do you ask?”

you shrug lightly, your gaze averting down to your lap as you begin to pick at your cuticles. “i don’t know,” you mumble, your cheeks beginning to flush with a nervous twinge crawling up your spine. “just curious.”

your body almost tingles at the low, rasped hum that slips easily out of heeseung’s nose, his attention still glued to his notebook. “just curious?” he asks again, in a tone you cant figure out. “you can ask me the question, i’m not gonna bite.”

your body immediately flushes with heat. “what question?” you ask him in mock-sincerity, watching as he swipes away eraser dust from his page.

“you… are you asking me to draw you?”

“uh,” you begin nervously, his heavy cologne making your brain turn to mush. “only if you want to.” he then looks back over at you, his eyebrows raised up behind his long, curly fringe. you can see the smudged eyeliner lining his eyes and the subtle, silver piercings that line the edge of his earlobe.

“okay.” he chuckles softly, furrowing his eyebrows in a way that only makes you feel dumb for bringing it up. as if on cue, the coach down below on the football field blows a whistle, which causes heeseung to close his notebook and straighten his spine. no other words are spoken between the two of you, as you painfully watch him stand to his feet and jog lightly down the bleacher steps. once heeseung’s making his way down the gravel, you immediately let out an embarrassed groan, letting your head fall into your palms.

never doing that again. now i have a valid reason to never attend ryung’s practices. no hard feelings?

“quiet.” a white haired lady dotted in over-the-top emerald green eyeshadow scowls at you and ryung by the fiction section, lifting a bony finger to her pursed, thin lips. you and ryung immediately both flush with red, muttering an array of sorry’s. you watch as the librarian finally walks away from the section, leaving you and ryung alone again hidden in the back of the library.

“so what i was trying to say was,” ryung whispers, leaning his back against the wooden shelf lined up the wall. he sticks his hands into his denim jacket pockets, before pushing up the bridge of his glasses with a finger. “you think that you blew it with edward cullen in eyeliner two days ago. can you remind me why, again?”

“yes, ryung,” you whisper harshly, your back up against the shelf right in front of the boy. you cross your arms over your chest and furrow your brows solemnly. “i asked him to draw me. he probably thought i was so embarrassing. that’s probably why i haven’t seen him in two days. maybe he’s avoiding me. i wanna back out of operation sweet talk. now. i resign from my position, chief.”

“hey.” ryung frowns, knitting his eyebrows together as he plucks a book from the shelf behind him, taking a quick step closer to you to wack you in the arm with it. “there will be no resigning. you’re just overthinking. give it a few more tries before you give up. you don’t wanna see him frolicking in the freshly dewed grass with suyun on his arm next year, do you?”

you glare at him, a pout jutting at your lips. “…. no.”

“okay then.” ryung rolls his eyes, turning the book over in his hand to observe the cover. his face distorts into disgust when he sees its little women, and immediately shoves it back onto the shelf. “anyway,” he sighs, turning back towards you with a side smirk. “hwang’s football party is coming up, maybe you can—” his eyes immediately dart over to something behind you in the distance, his lips pursing into a line and his eyes widening behind his frames. “um… y/n. don’t turn around.”

your heart begins beating quickly inside your chest with curiosity, your eyebrows tightening above your eyes as you slowly turn around, peeking your head out behind the safety of your wooden shelving. your eyes suddenly land on heeseung, his arm around suyun’s shoulder as hushed laughter takes over both of them. you watch as they walk right by the sci-fi section. your heart immediately sinks to your stomach. ryung sighs. “… okay, i was wrong. they might already be frolicking in freshly dewed grass…. together.”

you let a small sigh pass through your lips, a small lump developing in your throat. “it’s okay,” you mumble, slowly turning back around towards ryung. “i get it, really. suyun’s a super attractive girl and she seems to be… seems to be super amazing to get along with and very funny, as i can see, considering they’re.. laughing and touching, and—”

“y/n.” ryung groans, taking a step closer towards you and grabs your arm, pulling you away from the fiction section. “stop you’re wallowing.”

you groan behind the boy. “where are we going?”

“well,” ryung sighs, dragging you throughout the aisles of books. “i just remembered i need to do a non-fiction book report about a predatory-prey animal relationship before friday.”

“… ryung, it’s thursday.”

“i know.” the boy replies in a disgruntled tone, his pace slowing down as the two of you near the vast book shelf of non fiction books. he slowly lets go of your arm, his gaze wondering around the infinite number of exposed spines. he places his hands on his hips, slipping his lip between his teeth. “it’s a very urgent matter, if you cannot tell.”

“yeah,” you snort, crossing your arms over your chest as you study your friend. “considering you put it off until the last minute. very good time management skills ryung, i must say.”

“why, thank you.” the boy mutters, running his fingers along the array of book spines, his eyes squinting as he reads the fine print lining each one. “man, i might just have to ask if i can extend my due date until monday. but if i do that, i’d have to study instead of going to the football party. so that would suck.”

“ryung,” you groan, leaning your side into the bookshelf, eyes observing your friend’s side profile. “don’t make me go alone.”

“just ask heeseung.”

“no. he probably already asked suyun. you know what, if you’re not going, then i’m not going.”

“you know what, y/n,” ryung mutters, plucking out a thick picture book with a prowling cheetah printed on the cover. he opens it up briefly and flips through its pages. “i’m not gonna do that to you. i’ll go, but i might be in the corner with my nose in a… cheetah survival instincts… book.”

you let out a relieved sigh, pushing yourself away from the bookshelf. “that works, ryung. that’s completely fine with me.” you suddenly freeze at the faint sounds of footsteps suddenly approaching shortly behind you, before you hear a light whisper right above your ear.

“y/n.”

at the sound of the all too familiar low-set voice, you quickly turn around in your spot, making sure ryung’s back was to you so he doesn’t witness you embarrass yourself. your eyes are suddenly met with heeseung’s, who’s dark lined brown orbs are hidden behind strands of dark brown hair, a half curve to his glossy lips and a mischievous glint hidden inside his dark eyes. before you can even part your drying lips to speak, the boy whispers again. “open your palm.” you blink up at him, before registering his words and lifting up your palm, spreading out your fingers.

“what’s….?”

you watch as the tall boy stuffs a quick hand into his pocket, his eyes never leaving your curious features. he slips out a folded up piece of notebook paper, and places it right in the center of your palm. “hope you don’t mind the quality,” he rasps lowly, “may have had to rush a bit.” your brain goes blank with a variety of burning, raging questions, only being able to watch as he begins walking backwards, the curve on his lip spreading into an admiring, amused smile. “see you around, y/n.” the dim lights of the library highlight his adam’s apple as he lifts his chin up slightly, observing you under his eyelashes. he then slips cooly back behind the bookshelf, his footsteps now becoming a distant thud.

you stand there, your brain trying to process everything that had just happened. ryung had now approached you, his quiet voice being heard over your shoulder. “um… y/n. what did he just give you?” you swallow the dryness in your throat and slowly look down at the crumbled piece of paper in your hand, before you slowly unfold it with a slow, inhaling, suspenseful breath.

ryung gasps softly under his breath. “oh…. my god.”

once you’ve unfolded the paper between your fingers, your mouth falls ajar at the image, your cheeks flushing red. scribbled beautifully onto the page, was a drawing of you, sitting on top of a sloppily outlined counter. a cup with a straw was positioned between your hands, the tip of the straw hidden behind puckered lips. your cheeks were dusted with a red color pencil and written lazily in the bottom corner of the page, was heeseung’s signature. right under it in minuscule letters read the date. exactly last saturday, when you had played pool at the bar.

“wait a fucking minute.” ryung whispers in your ear, your heartbeat throbbing in your eardrums. “is that you…. at the bar last weekend?!”

“i think… i think it is.” you mumble in utter shock, not being able to tear away your gaze from heeseung’s unexpected drawing. “look,” you whisper sharply, placing a finger on top of the scribbled drink in your tiny, pencil sketched hand. “my chocolate milkshake…”

“okay, y/n,” ryung chuckles nervously, backing away from your shoulder. “if i were you, i’d either be super flattered or super creeped out. i don’t know which one you should be.”

“i don’t know either, ryung.” you mumble, feeling the heat crawl up your neck. “i don’t know, but i’m feeling super attracted to him right now.”

“ew. stop being weird.” ryung mutters, shaking his head teasingly at you with furrowed, hidden brows. he then turns back towards the nonfiction books and crosses his arms over his chest, a dry chuckle passing his lips. “god, you kids are crazy. i’m trying to look for my nonfiction book over here, and guinevere beck is drooling over the picture joe goldberg drew of her last weekend. awesome. this sounds like it’s gonna play out great.”

“you’re so supportive, ryung.”

“next thing you know, edward cullen is gonna suck bella’s blood before she can even say lee heeseung.”

“this is why you’re single.”

throughout the rest of your mind-numbing, boring school day, the only thing that ran inside your mind like a hamster on a spinning wheel, was heeseung and his drawing. your leg bobbed feverishly as you sat at your desk in economics class, mind distorting and blurring the sleep-induced words of your teacher, nothing but visions of that crumbled piece of paper melting through the cracks of your subconscious. as you ate lunch, as you studied in the student cafe, as you talked to your cheer friends in science class. it was consuming your whole entire being, it was devouring you whole.

it was eating at your system so much, that right before your cheer practice after school, you walked right out through the back double doors and right down to the field. you kept the folded drawing warm in the confinements of your jean pocket, your fist softly clutching the parchment as if afraid it might run away. your shoes crunched the gravel below you, eyes observing the football players gathering onto the vast field. i’m going to talk to him.

but unfortunately, to your dismay, you soon figure out that the boy is nowhere to be seen. the bleachers deemed themselves vacant, and it only brought a sour feeling to spread in the pit of your stomach. as you sulkily traveled up the gravelly hill back into the building, you check your surroundings. heeseung is no where in sight. of course this disappointed you, considering you were going to thank the boy for such a thoughtful, admiring, unexpected gesture. but now you couldn’t, and you don’t know just when you’ll get the opportunity again.

hiking up your short, blue and gold cheer skirt, the loud, echoing voices of the girl’s locker room settles inside your eardrums. the room is humid and makes your cheer top almost impossible to put on, considering the stickiness blooming on top of your skin. your mood was already faltered from the absence of lee heeseung, that there was no point in conversing with your cheer mates. you had already established this thought in your head, when a familiar, squeaky, annoying voice chirps right into your ear.

“y/n!” suyun squeaks, making your head want to physically pop like a pimple right off of your body. you imagined the puss would squirt all over rhee suyun. “are you going to go to hwang’s party after the game on saturday?” you don’t even dare turning around to look at this beady eyed rat right into her sinister little eyes. you begin fetching your comb from your open locker, quickly beginning to comb out the length of your hair.

“i don’t know.” you mumble, not willing to repeat yourself if she asked. “i always go, don’t i?”

“well yeah,” suyun chuckles, spraying heavy amounts of flower scented body spray all over herself. “i just ask this time because, well, i don’t want you to be sad when you see me and heeseung together. that’s really all.”

you pause your comb’s motions midway in your hair, clenching your teeth together. anger rises up your spine and blooms throughout your chest, your eyelids fluttering shut to maintain your own sanity.

“yeah, y/n…. i know you have a thing for him. i heard jay telling that little gay boy with the glasses on the phone last night.” her tone was almost too innocent, acting like she wasn’t the most vile being to ever hang around. you decide to stay silent, slowly finishing your brushing. “it’s okay, no hard feelings. at least you know he’s mine now, right? glad we could chit-chat, y/n!” you hear her locker slam with a soft thud, before her white tennis shoes clunk swiftly down the slick, locker room floor.

yeah, you think to yourself, as you push your locker door shut, hastily tying your hair up with your usual gold ribbon. your mind flickers with images of heeseung’s sweet drawing and the rosy blush he gave you, despite the fact that any possible blush you could have had that day would’ve been completely invisible from the low lights. he’s aaaalll yours.

god, ironically enough, you wish ryung was here. the one night you were supposed to go clothes shopping for hwang’s party, exactly one day prior, jay calls him up for help on his nonfiction predatory-prey book report. and who’s one to say no to their secret football crush only you’re aware of? not choi min-ryung. you’re fine with it really, you’re just walking by yourself down the risky, shop heavy part of town in the rain at 10pm. psh, you don’t need him.

you let out a solemn sigh as the plastic bag strap between your fingers grows clammy through the feverish, cooling air. your pace is slow and patient as the bottoms of your shoes clobber down the stone sidewalks lining the lines of shops by your right, all decorated with illuminating fairy lights and crimped, pastel awnings. you let your heavy shopping bag containing denim shorts and fishnet stalkings bump up against your legs as you walk, mentally groaning at the increasing amount of drizzles plopping on top of your head.

under the glinting moonlight, your eyes scan for any possible shop that would contain face paint of any sort, knowing the whole cheer squad and football team would be participating with cheeks striped with blue and gold. you can’t be the only one without it. as you walk by a craft store, your eyes trained on its beaded jewelry display, you’re suddenly startled by someone clearing their throat rather loudly beside its entrance.

you halt suddenly in your tracks, eyes trying to focus in on the figure sitting beside the entrance, their back against the brick. it’s hard to study them under the dim street lamp lights, only coming to the realization once the bellowing smoke cloud pouring from their lips simply dissolves under flickering, orange light. heeseung. “well, aren’t you a daring girl. seems a little dangerous to walk by yourself at night, huh, y/n?”

you watch in shock as he peers over at you under half lidded eyes, the back of his head lolling towards you as it leans against the brick. you watch the curve of his lip and the bob of his adam’s apple as he swallows, his layered, brown hair brushed back from his forehead. he studies your frozen expression and lifts his eyebrows at you, his ringed thumb flicking ash from the back of his cigarette.

shit. should have wore my perfume. “uh,” you mumble, watching the glint of his silver, dangly star earrings. “i know, but… i’m fine.” is all you can mutter out as you watch him place his cigarette back between his parted lips. “what are you um,” your cross your arms nervously over your chest in an attempt of mock-confidence. “what’re you doing out here? stalking me?”

heeseung let’s out a short chuckle, eyebrows furrowing as smoke begins blowing out of his nostrils. “no, y/n.” he then lifts up the plastic bag seated beside him that you didn’t notice before. “same thing as you, i can see.” you nod slowly at his shopping bag, your eyes lingering on his figure as the top of your head is suddenly being pelted with raindrops.

“ah,” you squeak, reaching your arms up above your head, as if that’ll stop the water’s ruthless beatings. you watch as heeseung climbs to his feet, dropping his cigarette down towards the sidewalk.

“c’mon, before it gets worse.” he reaches his hand out towards the craft store door, fingers wrapping around the door handle. he opens up the glass door for you, waiting for your figure to step inside. you quickly head inside the air conditioned store, an immediate sigh of relief slipping past your lips.

“thank you,” you mumble to him as he files in right behind you, the door closing with a slight thud. “maybe they’ll have face paint.” you mutter, eyes beginning to roam the infinite amount of uniquely lined shelves. you wonder down the first aisle you see, faint pop music wafting it’s way into your eardrums. your eyes scan the shelves briefly, acknowledging their souvenir-like knick knacks. you didn’t realize heeseung had been following you until you hear his soft voice somewhere close behind you.

“so, where’s your boyfriend?” you hear him ask, causing your heart rate to increase and your eyebrows to furrow. you slowly turn around in your spot, eyes narrowed on heeseung’s figure that was leaning coyly into the end of the shelf, one hand stuffed into the pocket of his ripped, black skinny jeans. his cheeks were surprisingly dusted with red, a shade you haven’t seen on the boy before.

“who’s my boyfriend?” you ask him hesitantly, watching his eyebrows tighten confusingly. he tongues the inside of his cheek and let’s a curious half smile tick up his cheek, his stuffed-in black button up clinging slightly to his abdomen.

“uh..” heeseung begins hesitantly, his eyebrows tightening even more above his brown, doe eyes. “you know… kid with glasses. number 12..?” you notice the way the red in his cheeks deepen just a little more.

the gears of your brain begin turning, a light red blooming at your own cheeks. “ryung?” you begin shaking your head softly, your lip tensing with a soft curve. “ryung is not my boyfriend. ryung is gay. he’s just my best friend.”

“oh,” heeseung let’s out an embarrassed, nervous chuckle, reaching a toned arm up to rub at the back of his neck. his eyes dart to a hawaiian bobble head on the nearby shelf. “that… that makes sense. i’m sorry.”

“don’t apologize.” you giggle softly, flashing him a comforted smile. you turn your attention back towards the tacky knickknacks, plucking one off of the shelf to examine it in your palm. “he, uh, bailed on me last minute. to answer your question.” you see in your peripheral vision heeseung reaching out for a knick knack on the same shelf, turning it over into his palm.

“he’s not a very good friend, then, hm?” he mumbles, his tongue peeking out briefly to moisten his lips. “leaving you by your lonesome like this.” he then makes three tsk noises with his tongue, his head shaking teasingly. “highly irresponsible.”

“it’s not like i’m alone now,” you mumble, your finger dragging along the shelved objects as you slowly begin down the aisle. “you’re here with me.” you hear heeseung hum behind you, his signature, woodsy cologne floating into your senses.

“how do you know you can trust me?” he mumbles, eyes trained on the shelves. “you don’t really know me very well, y/n. i could be a criminal waiting to jump you and take all your money.”

you let out a short chuckle. “you’re right, kinda sounds like something you’d do. considering you drew me without my knowledge at the bar last weekend.”

“…. not gonna lie, that one hurt.”

you giggle at his reply, stopping in your tracks when you spot packs of face paint hung on metal rungs towards the bottom of the shelf. “thank you for the drawing…. by the way. i really liked it.” heat blooms to your neck as you slowly crouch down, fingers brushing along the words lining the packages. “just curious, what inspired you to draw me that day?”

heeseung hums low in his throat again, his fist rummaging inside his pocket for his cigarette pack. an admiring smile etches into his cheeks and lifts his rounded ears, strands of his hair falling into his eyes. “remember on the bleachers i told you that the skyline was just so pretty up there, i had to draw it?”

you pause your finger’s motions, heat blooming across your neck and throughout your body. “yes.”

you hear the flicker of heeseung’s lighter. “should you need a further explanation?”

you stay crouched down, ears tuning into heeseung’s scorching words, the tips of your ears burning red. “so… you think i’m pretty?” you ask him hesitantly, glad that your crimson cheeks were hidden from heeseung’s view.

“no,” he mumbles, after blowing out smoke from his new cigarette. “i think that you’re beautiful.”

you felt as if your body could melt into the ceramic tile flooring. “um,” you begin, your temples pulsing anxiously. “so… why didn’t suyun tag along with you tonight?” you ask him quietly, quickly trying to change the subject so you don’t embarrass yourself further.

“she’s already got tomorrow sorted out.” heeseung replies softly, leaning back into the shelving. you slowly climb back up to your feet, with two packages of face paint in your hold. “she also uh,” heeseung begins, a teasing smile edging at his lips as he quickly glances down towards the ground, lifting his cigarette to his lips. he takes in a huff as you turn towards him with anticipating eyes, his eyebrows quirking as smoke bellows out of his nostrils again. “she told me something about you.”

you suddenly widen your eyes, your brain remembering the last, dreadful conversation you had with the beady-eyed girl. your heart begins to thrash quickly against your chest. “what did she say?”

heeseung studies your facial features, that same, taunting smirk playing at the edge of his lip. “she said you have a secret you’re hiding from me. she wouldn’t tell me what it was, though.” he then cocks his head at you, his eyebrows furrowing teasingly. you watch the edge of his long, star earring dance against his shoulder. “anything you’d like to add on that subject?”

you swallow nervously in your throat, avoiding his intimidating, intense gaze. you pretend to peer down at the face paint between your fingertips. “…um, no. i don’t even.. i don’t even know what she’s talking about.” god, you sound so unconvincing. you wish you were a better liar.

“yeah?” he quirks, his tongue swiftly rolling against the inside of his cheek and out between his lips, taking one step closer towards you. “y/n.” he whispers, leaning his head down closer towards your own. he props his elbow up against the shelf, leaning his side into his arm. his cologne burns your nostrils. heat blooms across your cheeks as you watch his eyes study your lips. “i’ll tell you my secret, if you tell me yours.”

your throat grows dry, slowly taking a step back from his looming, lanky figure. “i…. i can’t right now.” you tell him through a bite of your lip, watching his eyes examine your nervous features. “later. okay? i promise.”

heeseung narrows his eyes at you teasingly, his slender fingers slowly pushing his cigarette back between the comfort of his lips. “okay.” is all he mumbles, a sly curve growing up the side of his lip. the air seems to grow tense as you head for the checkout line, the manager catching heeseung smoking and kicks him out of the store. you giggle to yourself as you watch him exit through the glass door, a lingering thought dancing on the edges of your brain.

hwang’s party was absolutely nothing like you imagined, considering you thought it’d be held in his mother’s run-down basement. you stand right outside the gymnasium entrance, mascara coated eyelashes blinking up at the huge blue banner hung across the top of the doorframe that read go ravens! in tacky, gold glittered writing. there were hundreds of students filing in and out of the gym, all decorated in the properly colored spirit attire.

you feel your brain pulsing with each techno beat that pounds through the ginormous overhead speakers. you lean over towards ryung beside you, who was clad in his blue and gold ravens jersey and ripped, denim skinny jeans. “has hwang always had this many friends?”

you watch as ryung eyes the gym entrance with intimidated, wide eyes, his finger slowly reaching up to push on the bridge of his glasses. he slowly shakes his head at your question. “i don’t think so….”

“oh,” you shortly gasp, “did you bring your non-fiction book? for studying purposes?”

ryung chuckles nervously, a red color spreading to the expanse of his cheeks. “um, no…. i left it at jay’s house.”

you snort at his confession and slap him briefly in the back. “good job, dummy.”

you had asked ryung prior for his blue letterman jacket, considering you couldn’t find the right shirt for the occasion, and decided to wear it today over a plain, black cropped camisole. your fishnet stalkings sat uncomfortably tight under your shorts and against your skin, having to adjust yourself every few minutes. your hair had been tied up with your golden cheer ribbon, matching hairstyles with all of your cheermates. you almost reached up to itch your cheek but quickly changed your mind when you realized you’d smudge your blue and gold cheek stripes. “so… are you ready to go in now, or…. do you wanna stand out here like idiots for a few more minutes?”

“no, let’s go.” ryung chirps, clapping his hands together. he quickly begins heading towards the gymnasium entrance, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “c’mon, y/n, i heard they spiked the punch this year.” you roll your eyes and nervously begin following your friend inside, intimidated by the large groups of people around you. you and ryung suddenly halt to a quick stop though, when hwang suddenly jumps out in front of you.

“aye, my stoner loners made it!” the boy hollers, his shaggy blond hair adorning a blue stripe right down the middle of his head. he then pulls the both of you into a bone-crushing bear hug. the two of you groan. “bring me that promised devil’s lettuce, or what, kiddos?”

“hwang, please get me out of your armpit.” you groan, your nose face first into the warm, onion-scented cave of his forbidden forest. “please, before i start violently sobbing.”

“sorry, sorry,” hwang chuckles nervously, letting the two of you out of his clutches. “you guys go out there, and have some fun, alright?” he beams, placing both of his hands in the air for the two of you to high five. you and ryung hesitantly do so. “yeah! though i’d watch out for that spiked punch if you wanna be able to drive home tonight!”

hwang let’s out a fit of loud laughter, smacking the two of you hard into your backs before drifting off to converse with other new party attendees. the two of you stand dumbfounded in the middle of the action like little lost puppies, not sure what to do next. “do you want to.. um.. check out the food first.. or..?” you begin to ask, before jay is trudging himself through the crowd of already sweat-covered bodies right towards the two of you.

“c’mon, children,” the boy says through a half smile, clad in a black t-shirt thrown over a royal blue, long-sleeved undershirt. he pops the bubbelgum between his teeth and grabs both of your wrists, dragging you through the hoard. “i saved you guys some seats at my table.”

jay leads the both of you over towards a large round table lined up beside the other round tables by the gym wall, all decked out in gold tablecloths. two of jay’s buddies from the football team already occupy their seats, your eyes landing on the two open ones right beside jay. he pulls out both of the black, plastic chairs for both of you, keeping his grip there as you sit down against the plastic. he leans his head down between you two, so he can speak over the loud commotion of party goers. “what do you guys want to drink?” he asks loudly over the pulsing of the speakers, your eyes just now noticing his gold, glittery eyeshadow.

“uh,” you shake your head softly. “i don’t want anything right now. thanks, though.” jay nods at you, before turning his head softly towards ryung.

“do you wanna go get some of that spiked punch?” he asks the boy excitedly with a grin curving at his lips, which results in ryung hopping right out of his seat.

“fuck, yes!” jay then drags ryung back through the crowd, leaving you alone by two dudes you don’t even know. you’re not sure just how long the two boys are going to stay there, god knows what they’ll be doing, so you let out a small sigh and stand up from your seat.

right as you stood up, you noticed the lighting of the room had changed. from a bright, pink illuminating haze to a deep, purple one, darkening the gym and everyone’s facial features. the song had changed too, now sounding a little bit more and r&b and a lot more dreamier. you reach down to adjust the stockings sitting against your skin as you slowly emerge towards the center of the gym, where students were either seen dancing, making-out, or swaying lightly with their friends.

you nibble on your bottom lip as you subconsciously scan around the gymnasium for that one familiar face. after a good few seconds of not spotting the dark haired boy, you had concluded to yourself that he probably just wasn’t there yet. walking further towards the hectic crowd, your world suddenly comes crashing down onto you when you spot him. not only did you spot him, you also spotted suyun, who was indeed swallowing his face. they were kissing. rather fervently you might add, watching their hands claw all over each other. you suddenly felt dizzy, your heart sinking to the bottom of your stomach.

there was something off about heeseung’s gaze though, but it was hard to see under the dark purple lights. you squint, walking further into the crowd, noticing his eyes aren’t closed, nor are they on suyun. they’re right, directly centered on you.

this makes your heart rate increase, now being bumped by surrounding bodies. your chest suddenly surges with adrenaline and with anger, a lump now forming in the back of your throat. an idea flickers to life up inside your brain, and you immediately begin weaving through the crowd. you trudge your way to the refreshments table, where jay and ryung still linger by. they seemed to be taking shots of the punch and laughing to each other when you approach them, your temples pulsing with frustration.

“ryung.” you begin firmly, trying not to let your lip quiver. the boy’s laughter immediately dies down at your troubled expression, setting down his shot glass and walking closer towards you.

“hey,” he stuffs his hands into his pockets. “hey, what’s wrong?” you can tell he’s getting tipsy by the slur of his words, but you don’t even care right now. you grab onto his wrist and pull him into the crowd, where he begins protesting. “hey!” he exclaims confusingly, letting you drag him through the students. “what are you doing?”

your eyes quickly scan the group for heeseung and suyun again, your teeth nervously chewing on your bottom lip. you spot them, their lips still locked and his eyes still on you, and you turn back towards ryung. “ryung.” you begin firmly with raised brows, grabbing him by the shoulders. “i’m going to make-out with you.” the boy blinks, the color draining in his face and his eyes widening. his body goes stiff.

“what—?”

you immediately cut him off when you crash your lips onto his, the feeling immediately uncomfortable. you could tell the hesitancy in ryung’s rhythm, but he quickly responds the deeper the kiss becomes. you keep your hands tight on his shoulders as his hands find your waist, too drunk out of his mind to even make sense of the situation. you flick your gaze towards heeseung a few heads away from you, the music drifting loudly into the pits of your eardrums.

nothing else matters in the moment except heeseung, your eyes warning him, communicating with him. his eyes do the same, as his own kiss with suyun grows deeper and messier, his eyebrows furrowing in your direction. he’s got to be drunk, you think to yourself, as you stick your tongue in ryung’s mouth. what is heeseung doing? your mind was racing with questions that you didn’t have time to acknowledge, all you had to do was just keep kissing ryung and keep your gaze on heeseung’s, who’s eyes never falter from yours.

who’s it gonna be? your eyes seem to say, as you can feel the lump growing in the back of your throat. look away from me, do it. your eyes look at him with plead, with hurt, your mouth growing tired against ryung’s. is he doing this out of spite? your temples were pulsing and ryung was beginning to pull away, when heeseung parts from suyun first.

the boy disappears from suyun before you could even notice, your eyes beginning to blink tears from your eyelashes. ryung can feel it against his cheeks, and he slowly pulls away from you. “am i that bad of a kisser?” he slurs, his hair sticking up in places and his cheeks rosy.

“no.” you grumble, reaching forward to fix his crooked glasses. your neck starts to grow red with guilt, suddenly feeling ashamed for pulling ryung into it. “ryung.. i’m sorry i—”

“it’s okay, y/n.” ryung smirks softly, eyes flickering between yours. suddenly he’s being pulled away by jay’s eager hand, and he throws his head over at you before allowing himself to be dragged away. “i kinda liked it!”

you roll your eyes at ryung’s obvious drunken behavior, now suddenly being shoved around by more surrounding students. tears were threatening to spill from behind your waterline, and your head was beginning to throb with a raging headache. you were feeling hurt and betrayed even if it wasn’t your place to be, you just couldn’t help it. this boy knew what he was doing with your emotions like he always did, and that split your heart right down the middle.

your vision became blurry and your throat was beginning to burn, your gaze pointed down towards the overcrowded floor as you start weaving your way through the tightly packed gymnasium, shoving people’s shoulders and bumping their hips. you suddenly squeak to an unexpected halt when a warm pair of arms begin wrapping themselves around your waist from behind. heat immediately blooms across your already flushed face, the gears in your brain pausing their rotations. you feel a sharp chin being placed on the curve of your shoulder. “well, aren’t you just a pretty little snake?”

heeseung. your jaw clenches with bubbling anger, the tears becoming warm behind your eyelashes. “what is that supposed to mean?” your voice is wavered and quieter than you wanted it to be, but you couldn’t help it and you didn’t care. your blood was boiling and your mind was spinning.

“thought you said ryung wasn’t your boyfriend.” he whispers confidently into your ear, his breath reeking of mint and the slightest hint of alcohol.

“i thought suyun wasn’t your girlfriend.” you declare hesitantly, lacing your arms frustratingly over your chest. the heat from his embrace was making your skin prickle, the dreamy music from the speakers now a distant blur in the depths of your ear canal.

“she’s not.” heeseung quickly retorts, fingernails picking at the golden studs in your belt.

“then why were you kissing her?” your temples begin pulsing even more, sweat now trickling down the side of your cheek. you were annoyed. you just wanted to go home. silence begins embracing the both of you, the loud chatter and noises from the surrounding students filling in the white noise.

you hear heeseung inhale slowly, his arms further encircling your figure, trying to become closer to you. his chest was pushed up against your back and his face was right beside your neck, his body practically meshed with yours. “she started kissing me first, and i was going to pull away, but i saw you walk in. i was trying to make you jealous.”

this only made anger rattle up against your system even more, your jaw clenching in utter irritation. your mind was swimming with confusion, your brain about to explode inside your skull. your lips part hesitantly, your tongue laying dry inside your mouth. “what…?”

heeseung’s breath grows closer into your neck, his nose brushing up your jawline. goosebumps began to erupt all across your body, his breath warm in your ear. “i’ll tell you my secret….” he whispers, his embrace growing impossibly tighter. “if you tell me yours.”

you swallow the large lump settled warm inside your throat, your heart rate beating loudly inside your eardrums. you nibble at your lip and contemplate your next move, your mind going over everything that had just happened in the span of thirty minutes. you knew deep down exactly what heeseung’s secret was, you knew it was obvious. this was your chance, your one time opportunity to tell this boy how you feel about him, despite all the pent up anger you’ve been storing inside yourself. so with a shaky breath, and a hesitant tongue, you slowly turn around in heeseung’s grasp.

his hands stay warm on your waist as you settle your palms against the damp skin of his neck, the paint stripes on his cheeks nothing but faint smudges. your eyes examine his disheveled, crimped hair and smokey, black eyeshadow, his silver hoop earrings and his collared, unbuttoned blue t-shirt. a silver chain rested comfortably against his collarbones and the hem of his shirt hid behind his usual studded belt and black skinny jeans. your eyes nervously gaze up into his own, where a worried, flushed expression takes over his admiring features. “i like you.” you whisper to him, the words foreign on your tongue. your thumb brushes up against his prominent jawline. “now tell me your secret.”

you watch his neck as he swallows slowly, his eyes flickering among your features. the edge of his lip suddenly curves up subtly, his eyes panning down to gaze at your glossed lips. “i’ve known about your little game this whole time.”

as if your heart wasn’t already jolting out of your ribcage, you feel as if you could puke up the pulsing muscle any second now. your face immediately drains of color and you furrow your eyebrows hesitantly. “you.. did? what… how? how did you know?”

“let’s just say,” heeseung softly chuckles, cocking his head at you. he scrunches his nose for effect in his next words. “suyun overheard jay talking about it last week. and suyun tells me everything.”

“so,” you begin, your palms beginning to grow warm against his neck. for some reason, the lump in your throat was developing quickly again. god, jay, you little shit. “you knew this whole time, but you still led me on? you still played around with me? is that what’s happening?”

“y/n.” heeseung begins softly with raised eyebrows, pulling you closer into his chest. he leans his head down towards your ear, where he noses down your jawline. “i’ve got more than one secret.”

you can feel him smirk up against your cheek. you blink, your cheeks growing flushed as everyone around you becomes an afterthought. you could predict his next words, but oh, how you wanted to hear him say it. “can you tell me…?”

“are you sure you don’t have one more?” heeseung whispers, his lips stretching into a lazy smile as he nibbles the flesh of your cheek, his slender hands traveling along the curves of your waistband. “i think you’ve got another.. dirty lil’ secret in the back of your mind. i’d like you to share it with me first, y/n.”

your cheeks flush with heat at his low-set whisper tingling into your ear, the alcohol in his breath intoxicating your own system. you swallow thickly in your throat and slide your palms down over his bare, toned shoulders, blocking out the way hwang yells something stupid over the speakers to the dancing crowd. the feeling of heeseung’s warm, heated touches and sinful whispers sure does make heat swarm to the pit of your belly, arousal soon clouding up inside your brain. it’s like he could read your mind. “i want you to..” you whisper hesitantly, swallowing nervously in your throat. your heart was beating erratically against your chest, and you could tell heeseung had noticed your nerves.

you hear a light hum breathe out through his lips and against your cheek, pulling his head back slightly to rest his chin back onto your shoulder. he then clasps his hands together against the small of your back, pulling you closer into his chest. “go ahead, y/n…” he whispers, beginning to sway softly to the overhead music. you take a deep breath and wrap your arms further around his warm neck, your cheek resting comfortably on his shoulder as the comfort of his embrace begins easing your nerves. “you can tell me, i promise i won’t judge you.” he whispers again. “tell me what you want me to do.”

you swallow the lump developing in your throat as you flutter your eyelids closed, focusing on the faint rhythm of you and heeseung’s swaying hips. you can hear his quick heartbeat against your chest, his breathing soft by your head. “i want you…” you lick your lips briefly, “to touch me.”

heeseung hums coyly. “i’m already touching you, y/n.” he whispers, and you can practically hear the amusing smirk etched across his lips. you roll your eyes, even though he can’t see you.

“you… you know what i mean, heeseung.”

“it might just be the spiked punch, but, i can’t figure it out for the life of me. please do explain, y/n.”

you groan shyly into the curve of his neck, heat blooming against your skin. you feel heeseung’s chest vibrate subtly with his soft chuckle, your lips parting hesitantly. “stop… i’m not explaining. tell me your other secret.”

heeseung breathes in a shaky breath, before letting it softly travel out through his nose. “i want you to wear me,” he whispers lowly into your neck. “like your pretty perfume.” your skin bursts out with an array of goosebumps, your letterman jacket now sticking to you with sweat.

your mind moves a mile a minute. “what.. what do you mean?”

you hear him chuckle softly at your question, before he parts his lips. he moves his head closer towards your neck, where he slowly and carefully, bites down softly into the skin of it, where he slowly begins sucking a hickey right into the flesh.

you gasp lightly at the sensation, warmth beginning to fill the pit of your belly. you let your hands roam around the nape of his neck and reach your fingertips into his damp curls, thankful for the business around you. a new, upbeat song had begun playing from the overhead speakers, bringing in more swarms of hyperactive students.

your body had been flushed with permanent heat at the suction of his lips on your skin, his bite soft but hurtful. it felt good, a little too good, and that feeling soon spread throughout your whole lower body. he slowly lifts his head back up once he’s sucked a good, evident purple bruise into the line of your neck, his lips shiny and parted. “heeseung,” you begin, eyes flickering among his prideful half smile. “heeseung, please…. i- i want… more.”

he lets a quick giggle slip past his lips, his hands finding the indentions of your hips to settle them there. his fingers had slipped under your letterman jacket, where the coldness of his rings stung your bare skin. “i dunno.” he shrugs, eyes focusing in on your desperate lips. you notice the red blush to his tan cheeks. “maybe if you beg for it some more.” he teases, “i like the way you say please.”

before you can even reply to his suggestive statement, he’s suddenly being pulled away from you. you catch suyun in the act, her face distorted in anger and her grip firm on his arm. “we’re going to the car.” she huffs, heeseung keeping his eyes trained on you.

“wait!” you plead, but you can only watch as heeseung gets pulled through the crowd. you bite your lip and begin trudging through the students towards them, where you hear their hushed banter.

“… i can’t believe you’re cheating on me!”

“… suyun, we’re not even dating, for christ’s sake!”

“… that doesn’t even matter!”

your emotions get the best of you as you begin weaving your way through the crowd, your head pulsing. night begins settling down around your small university, tiredness beginning to spread its way throughout your skeleton. you don’t let that stop you as you watch suyun and heeseung disappear down the hall, your chest beginning to heave with heavy breaths as you skid to a stop right at the gymnasium entrance. you bend over slightly to rest your hands onto your knees, dreadfully watching as suyun takes heeseung around the corner.

shit. you begin to nibble on your bottom lip in frustration, wondering just what the hell suyun could want with him. as you decide to wait for his arrival, rather shamefully you might add, you walk over towards the wall beside the gym entrance, letting your back lean against it. you fold your arms over your chest as your mind begins racing down the track of your own thoughts, conjuring up scenes of suyun’s displeasure. she’s probably telling him off, you think to yourself, hands reaching up towards your ponytail to readjust your slipping, gold ribbon. he did makeout with her to woo me over. you let a small, patient sigh escape your lips, counting the minutes you stand here by your lonesome.

your mood then wilts when time passes a little too slowly, now doubting the boy might never come back to you and fulfill your pathetic, eyeliner-frenzied fantasies. once you decide suyun’s probably just killed him and threw his body in a ditch somwhere, you slowly lift your back from the wall and turn on your heel, ready to walk sorrowfully back into the gym. i guess i could join ryung and get drunk off spiked punch, drowning my sorrow in fruity alcohol. speaking of, i wonder what he’s been—

your head then snaps back behind you once you hear soft clicks of footsteps heading down the slick, tiled hallway, your eyes softening at the sight. heeseung heads back down the length of the hall rather cooly, for someone who just got screamed at, a fist in his jeans pocket and a cigarette perched between his lips. his eyes fixate on you, peering over at you under his dark, smokey eyelids. he keeps his gaze locked as he slowly lifts a hand to the end of his cigarette, taking a huff before smoke bellows out of his nostrils. his hair had been pushed back from his forehead, his layered, brown locks laying perfectly disheveled atop of his head, really pulling off the wind-swept look, you think. his cheeks stay flushed and his exposed collarbones glint with sweat under the lighting, your heart rate increasing as he approaches you.

“waiting around for me?” he quirks as his pace slows the closer he walks towards you, your own feet beginning to move towards the boy. you watch his eyes rake down your figure briefly before smoke wisps out behind his askew smirk. “how sweet of you.”

“what did suyun want?” you ask him softly, stuffing your own hands into the comfort of your shorts pockets. his eyes stay on you as he’s silent for a quick second, pulling the cigarette away from his lips to flick at the end of it.

“she just yelled at me for liking you. apparently, i led her on. even though,” he raises his eyebrows, “i actually have told her i’m only interested in her as a friend. plenty of times. she just doesn’t like to listen to stuff she doesn’t wanna hear.”

you smile amusingly at his story, your own eyebrow quirking up. “so… where is she now?”

“she left.” heeseung replies softly, rolling his eyes teasingly. he then takes another huff of his cigarette, slipping his bottom lip between his teeth before throwing his head back to gaze down the hall, his eyes examining his surroundings. “so… what do you want to do now?”

your cheeks flush at his taunting question, your gaze averting down towards his black shoes as you shrug your shoulders, a shy curve growing at the edge of your lip. “how’s uh,” you lift your head up to look at him. “how’s your hickey looking under this light?”

heeseung’s eyes dart smoothly down towards your neck, where you watch the muscle of his jaw softly clench. he then inhales deeply through his nose, before exhaling dramatically through an approaching, teasing smirk. “looks too fucking perfect on you. no surprise, anyway. only makes me want to give you more. god, so badly, you don’t understand. i’ve been keeping it in for too long, y/n.” he tsks with his tongue before slowly shaking his head at you. “too fucking long. you’re intoxicating.”

your body swims with burning heat. “are you sure that just isn’t my heavy vanilla scent?” you begin teasingly, trying to hide the utter anxiousness and arousal in your subtly coy tone. you slowly walk up towards him, placing your hands firmly onto his shoulders as you watch his half lidded eyes gaze down at your features.

“that scent smells good too, but, i assure you, it’s not.” he mumbles, reaching his free hand up to run his fingers softly through the lines of your hair. “how about i take you somewhere else?” he then whispers, his adam’s apple bobbing slowly in his throat. “let me give you what you’re wanting from me.”

your heart begins pelting loudly against the confinements of your ribcage, the pit of your belly swelling with pooling arousal. your eye then catches a lonesome door just down the end of the hall, where a gold plaque that reads supply closet is bolted onto the door. god, you’re so impatient. “..please?”

before you know it, you’re being softly placed onto a small, plastic table located in the crammed, stuffy room of the locked supply closet. the two of you don’t even care, for your lips are moving too fervently against each other’s to even recognize what little room you have.

the dim room was only being lit up by a single, flickering lightbulb hanging from a chain into the ceiling, heeseung’s head brushing it as he slid quickly through the door. you had peeled ryung’s letterman jacket and threw it to the dusty floor somewhere, your hands tangled up in heeseung’s sweaty hair as his own palms were secured lowly onto your hips. he leans in desperately to deepen your messy kiss, his eyebrows furrowed as he slips his tongue into your mouth, resulting in a soft whine from the bottom of your throat.

heeseung was breathing heavily through his nose, his body flushed with heat. his hands then slide down to the curves of your sitting thighs, where he then slides his hands on top of them. he presses his ringed thumbs into the soft meat of your thighs, slowly spreading them farther across the table. his teeth drag your bottom lip harshly as it recoils with his release, his glossy eyes fixated on the slickness of your lips. “i want to eat you out.” he mumbles confidently, causing a pang to bolt at your core. he then sticks his thumbs up under the hem of your shorts, goosebumps erupting against your skin. he then lets a lazy curve tick up his lips. “it’s already wet under here. just makes me desperately want to tongue-fuck you.”

you let out an uncontrollable whimper at his words, your fingers clinging tightly around the sweaty locks of hair curling around his nape. “go ahead, please. do it, i want it.” you let out breathlessly, your eyebrows furrowing with want. he only smiles in reply to your pleads, pressing his lips down into the soft skin of your neck, where you tilt your head to the side to give him more room. he immediately begins sucking a harsh hickey into your skin, his fingers smoothly and slowly unbuttoning the top of your shorts. you adjust your legs to let him slide them right off of you, gasps of breath slipping from your lips as he sucks painfully slow into your neck.

he then drags your underwear and fishnets down your legs together, his lips moving down the line of your throat. he quickly discards them towards the floor, his hands then pressing onto the table for his own leverage. your exposed skin is cold against the plastic of the table, goosebumps prickling at your legs. his lips quickly work there way down to your chest, where you immediately pull down the strap of your camisole to give his lips room. he sucks a soft hickey into the side skin of your breast, your mind swirling at the feeling. you lace your hand through the curls on the top of his head, a whine leaving his lips when you tug on them slightly.

he works his lips down the length of your body, cocking his head to the side to suck another hickey into the dip of your bare waist. the feeling of warm saliva and the harsh bite of his teeth only increases the heaviness of your breathing, whines climbing up your throat. he’s leaning over your thighs now, his hands now gripping the sides of them softly. he sucks another hickey into the side of your thigh, where you feel him hum against the plushness of your skin. his rings are cold against your thighs, his fingernails digging softly into them. “you’re like a sweet, little treat.” he rasps into your thigh, peppering it in wet, quick kisses. “like my own, little dessert, wanna devour you whole and lick you clean.”

your body melts at his breathless words, goosebumps erupting across your whole body when his warm lips edge closer towards your pussy, his fingers then spreading your thighs out even more. he peers up you darkly under his eyelashes as he pauses his head right at your wet cunt, your mind swimming at his lustful gaze. he lets a half smirk crawl up his lip as he keeps his eyes up at you, slowly letting his tongue fall out between his parted lips and licks a slow, detrimental stripe up the sensitive line of your pussy.

you let out a breathy gasp at the sensation, your thighs suddenly tensing beside his head. your fingers grip the edges of the plastic table, the back of your head falling against the wall. “oh, fuck.” you whine, sweat beading along your brow. his tongue stays out as your juices gleam atop of his tongue, a short chuckle slipping past his mouth. he then slides his tongue between his lips, glossing up their pink skin.

“you’re so pathetically wet.” he mumbles, as he leans his mouth back into your pussy, his tongue giving the line of it another quick lick. “just from a lick. too fucking cute.” he whispers, as he presses his warm, wet mouth into your cunt. whines escape your lips at the wet feeling, his tongue circling around the tense warmth of your clit. you can’t help but reach out for his hair at the pleasure, tightly wrapping your fingers around his curls.

he begins almost whining against you, his feverish tongue lapping deeper up inside you. he then cups his mouth against your cunt, his tongue curled inside you, and begins sucking lightly, his fingernails digging deliciously into the soft, red skin of your thighs. your mind goes fuzzy at the feeling, soft, airy moans spilling from your lips. his deep, desperate hums vibrate against your core and send shoots of pleasure down your spine, your fingers pulling on his hair and your thighs tensing tightly against his head. “heeseung…”

a sharp whimper warms your pussy as you tug on his hair, the ends of his cold hoops dragging up against the exposed flesh of your thighs. with his hair in your fist, he lifts his head up away from your cunt, his eyes flashing deeply and desperately up at you.

you peer down at the boy, his lips slick with your wetness. it’s dripping down his chin and smearing around his cheeks, his eyebrows furrowed tightly. “so fucking filthy,” he whines, eyelashes batting up at you. “never needed my mouth on someone’s disgustingly wet, mind-fucking pussy more in my life. i want to obliterate you until you’re fucked-dumb with my tongue.”

just heeseung’s sinful words alone were enough to cause another rush of arousal out of yourself, heeseung’s wet lips peppering kisses quickly into the side of your thigh. “you still with me, baby?”

“yes.” you choke out, heeseung nodding swiftly up at you before pressing his mouth back into your soaked cunt. he whines more at the slick amount of heat he laps up with his tongue, circling it around your clit and sucking on you softly. your brain fogs up and your thigh muscles are sore with how much they clench around the boy’s head, his hands having to push them down harshly onto the table.

he prods his tongue in and out against your clit, his, fast heaving breath humming against you. you can’t take it anymore, lines of whimpers slipping past your parted lips and your desperate fingers clawing at his hair, your arrival growing with each passing second. heeseung can feel it too, licking, deep, dirty stripes up the inside of your cunt, his face slick with your arousal. “come on baby, please,” he whimpers into you, dragging his fingernails softly up and down the length of your thighs. “cum on my face,” he whines, “please? will you make a pretty little mess for me?”

his words were only an icebreaker as your high suddenly takes over you, your lips parting with an uncontrollable whine. your fingers had gripped hard into his hair as you cum all over his mouth, his fingernails gripping hard into your thighs. “fuck,” he groans, once you’ve finally released all that you could onto his flushed face. you let your shoulders slouch back against the wall, your eyelids fluttering shut as your tired body falls slack. your lips are parted with heavy, deep breaths, your face slick with sweat and your thighs trembling with ache.

“ah, shit, y/n.” you hear heeseung rasp, as he slowly climbs up from your cunt and leans over you, his hands now balancing himself against the table. you peer up at him, his cheeks shining with cum and his hair matted to his face. his lips provocatively gleam and you watch as your arousal drips down the defined curve of his chin. he then smiles widely down at you, a prideful blush blooming in his sticky, wet cheeks. “i didn’t know someone could cum so fucking much.” he says through a breathless chuckle, leaning in towards your lips to press his wet mouth against your own. “made such a fucking mess. got so wet for me, made my head spin.”

you smile shyly at his statement as he presses multiple, messy kisses into your dripping mouth, his hands going to situate in the curves of your hips. “i want to go again.” you whisper teasingly against his lips, your hands crawling up his jaw to cup his sweaty cheeks in your palms.

“you’re a nasty girl.” heeseung softly chuckles through a smirk, peering at you with raised eyebrows. “your little number 12 friend is probably worried sick right now.”

“i think that punch will keep him occupied.” you reply through an amusing smile, as heeseung leans in to pepper your jaw in quick kisses, his hands pulling your hips closer towards him. “wow, heeseung,” you mumble teasingly, “all that, and you haven’t even asked me out yet.”

you feel the boy giggle lowly against your ear, teeth nipping at the curve of your jawline. “i have to think about it.” he whispers into your ear, teeth now prodding at the skin of your earlobe. you let a small giggle airily slip through your lips. “i’ve got the rest of the year, don’t i?”

a/n: I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOYED THIS FIC HHH :(( please let me know with an interaction of some sort, i absolutely appreciate all types of feedback <333 HEVEHEF IVE BEEN THINKING OF MAYBE DOING A PART TWO BUT IM NOT SURE IF I WANT TO MAKE ANOTHER HEESEUNG SERIES AGAIN..?.?.?.? IS THAT LAME??! idk guys decisions decisions. lemme know if you’d like another part so i can get a good idea of if i wanna do it or not 🤔 maybe i’d make a taglist 🤔 idk yet..! BUT ILL LET YOU KNOW!! hehe <333

my cool kid homie squad: @5xiang @svnoofy @qolaroidlove @vampbrr

( p.s. join my cool kid homie squad (perm taglist) or your moms a loser… and you won’t be considered one of heecrush’s cool kid homies… wow… would never wish that on anyone. sniff.. 😪😪 )

some charlie caps i’m heavily relating to lately

AHHHHHHH HI HI HI!!! just wanted to leave a note about this amazing fic!! i read it as an anon and i’m rereading it now bcoz genuinely… i’m so in love with it omg

just wanted to say a quick hello! and apologies in advance if i blast through a bunch of chapters at once and the notifs are a mess…<3

Abundance

— summary: You never expected that you would end up adopting a hybrid, and if someone had told you that you would end up with seven? Well, you would have thought they were crazy. But here you are, with three different packs of hybrids that don’t get along – but all want to stay with you. Yeah, turns out crazy is an understatement.

— pairing: hybrid bts x human f!reader

— genre: fluff, angst, eventual smut

— word count: 5.2k

— tag list: @keijaycreates​​ @xsmilebitesx​​ @ditttiii​​ Part: II / III / IV / V / VI / VIII / IX / X / XI / Find the rest of the chapters here!

“A hybrid?” You barely hold back a cough, the sandwich you were eating getting caught in your throat at your friend’s sudden proposal.

“Don’t sound so surprised Y/N, this isn’t the first time we’ve talked about this.” Jihyo rolls her eyes, pushing her water bottle closer to you as she notices you struggling.

You quickly take a sip, the cool water soothing your irritated throat. “No, but it’s the first time we’ve ever talked about me and hybrids in the same sentence.” You shake your head as you lean back in your chair, Jihyo’s gaze narrowing as she looks at you.

You quickly advert your eyes to pick at your shirt. Somehow, Jihyo always manages to make you do something you’re unsure of and this is too serious to be one of those situations.

“But wouldn’t it be nice? You always complain about being lonely.” Jihyo says, a knowing smile on her face as she takes another bite of her own food. 

“Yeah, but I meant a boyfriend, not a hybrid!” You sigh.

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Luck and Trouble

Mafia AU with @nnnnnnnothingtoseehere

Seokmin: Fear the Incubus

Characters: Seokmin x reader (gender neutral)

Genre/warnings: incubus au, halloween au, horror, angst, smut (but it’s like mentions and small scenes), slight fluff, murder

Word count: 2,144

Summary: Tell me what you want. Love me, who can’t cross this line. The way I love, the way I love. Someone tell me what should I do.

Tag list: @exo-chan-kai @purpleseleva @mntax @squishy-yamdumplings @linophobia @fullsun-donghyuck

Fear Masterlist

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I WANNA BE YOURS ˒˒ 최연준͏ ▸ 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍 𝗍𝗐𝗈 𝗈𝖿 𝗰𝗲𝗶𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀

after confessing your feelings and not getting the reaction you hoped for, you decided to cut contact and avoid yeonjun. the only thing is that he refuses to let you go that easily and is determined to show you that your two worlds can collide.

pairing ⸝⸝ choi yeonjun 𝑥 fem!reader 𓄵 𝓯eat. ꔛ 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘦!𝘣𝘦𝘰𝘮𝘨𝘺𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘥!𝘵𝘢𝘦𝘩𝘺𝘶𝘯

genre ⋆ 📓 ⸝⸝ secret friends with benefits to ??? to lovers, angst, smut, secret relationship, opposites attract, punk!yeonjun, nerd!reader, reader wears glasses, punk x nerd trope, some bad boy x good girl trope, slice of life, college au

warnings ⸝⸝ heartbreak, unprotected sex, soft dom!yeonjun, kinda service!top yeonjun, heavy praise kink, marking, petnames (baby, sweetheart, good girl, babygirl), creampie, multiple orgasms, a lot more desperation and neediness lmao, pussy drunk!yeonjun, body worship, clit stimulation, overstimulation, squirting, fingering, dirty talk, some aftercare

kipo’s note ⸝⸝ hehe here’s part two finally for everybody who wanted it for ceilings!! this is inspired by the songs i wanna be yours by arctic monkeys and corner by sace6!! made it extra angsty for you guys since i know you all like the pain (me too) :3 hehe i hope that you like it as much as part one and that the ending is satisfying! (ʃƪ〃ﾟ3ﾟ〃)♡ enjoy my loves!!!

͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏  ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏  ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ❨ 9k ❩ ╱ ❨ 𝓶.list ❩ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏  ͏ ͏  ︵͡   𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙜𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙚𝙡𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 (⌒‿⌒)♡

you have been ignoring choi yeonjun, you can finally admit to it now. for a week you’ve been dodging him if you even caught a glimpse of his orange hair with blonde streaks.

you knew it was ridiculous, but how could you ever face him with what happened in your room the last time you saw him? the answer: you don’t face him at all.

of course he noticed, you were now actively avoiding him and not trying to hide it anymore. if you happened to be quickly scurrying past him to get to where you needed to be—which for the past week he always made sure to be near—you could feel his heavy gaze linger on you. yet, he hasn’t stopped by your room at all or even sent you a quick text.

there was now this… awkward tension between the two of you. tension that clearly neither of you knew how to address. and you could see it in his eyes, he wanted to say something to you so desperately, but he kept his mouth shut. and so did you. at this point, you were content in never opening your mouth again.

it’s gotten to the point where even his friends have been questioning him.

“do you know her? why are you staring at her so much?” they would ask him. his answer was always the same variation of this reply: “i’ve seen her around a couple times. we have some classes together.” followed by some lie he quickly made up off the top of his head to explain why his eyes were on you. never the truth.

the fact of the matter is that he doesn’t feel the same way about you, so what’s the point in continuing this secret relationship the two of you have? you were in love with him, but he wasn’t in love with you. two puzzle pieces from two seperate boards—you’d never go together. the two of you should just part ways now while everything was all out on the table.

it was a mistake, confessing your feelings for him, but there was nothing you could do about it now but pretend it never happened. and pretend that you never got involved with choi yeonjun.

you pulled the turtleneck further up your neck as you ducked next to where the outside water fountains were, chest rising heavily as your eyes darted to the side. you hoped yeonjun didn’t see you. sighing to yourself softly, you pulled your phone out and checked the love bites on your neck. they were almost faded now, but every time you looked at them you can’t help but think of that night and a sharp pain erupts in your chest.

you moved to leave before you were suddenly cornered against the brick wall of the campus building you ducked behind. you smelt his familiar cologne before you saw his face and dyed hair. “we have to talk. you can’t keep avoiding me.”

your heartbeat suddenly picked up and you quickly swallowed down the lump forming in your throat. “we have nothing to talk about,” you replied, eyes locked on the band tee he was wearing.

it was a lie, you knew that. you knew that at some point the two of you had to talk about your confession, but you desperately wished he would just let it go and pretend like it never happened like you were.

“don’t bullshit me, y/n,” yeonjun countered, leaning into your ear.

you eyes traveled up to the skull necklace you have gifted him. slight surprise coursed through you at the fact that he still wore it—at the fact that he wore it at all. your eyes then locked on his and you gathered all the firmness you could to add to your stare.

“you clearly don’t feel the same way that i do, yeonjun. let’s just leave it at that.” as you spoke, a small group of students passed by the corner you both were tucked in. yeonjun frantically backed away from you and checked your surroundings, eyes darting from place to place.

you scoffed to yourself. how ridiculous. “you don’t even want to be seen in public with me,” you continued, deep hurt creeping in the edges of your voice.

yeonjun’s eyes darted back to yours and he quickly stepped towards you. “it’s complicated,” he said.

“it’s… complicated...” you shook your head at him in disbelief as you slowly repeated his words, words growing in volume as you went on. “it isn’t, yeonjun. it really isn’t. trigonometry is complicated, this is—”

“i want to be with you,” he interrupted, voice just above a whisper, and grabbed your hands in his. yeonjun’s face was pleading, and almost desperate, but you were done. you were done being second choice to whatever he put ahead of you.

for months you were with him in the four corners of your room and you didn’t share a single complaint as long as the two of you were together. but now that he didn’t even want to be seen with you where others could possibly see, you were done.

you snatched your hands from his and yeonjun’s eyebrows shot up. “in secret! without any strings attached—but i can’t keep doing this with you. i can’t be with someone who only wants to be with me in private, who doesn’t want to be with me at all. i won’t allow myself.”

as you were pouring your everything onto the floor in front of yeonjun, you watched as he still glanced around the two of you, making sure that nobody was listening to your words. in real time, you felt your heart crack and shatter into a million pieces. all you could do was sigh defeatedly.

you turned towards the building you were originally heading for, no doubt late for the class you were supposed to be at, and began walking off. you felt yeonjun’s hand wrap around your wrist and pull you back.

your mouth opened in protest but the sound was quickly smothered as his lips smashed onto yours. you froze, heartbeat racing even further. hate sunk deep into the pit of your stomach. you hated how you melted into his touch and how your heart beat so fast it felt like it might explode. you hated how good his lips felt on yours—how familiar they felt and how much you missed the feeling.

you pushed him away from you, shock clear on your face as you looked up at him. in the seconds it took you to register that he just kissed you again for the first time after a week, your eyes darted to the side. to the completely empty campus. not a soul could be seen for miles. you looked back at him.

tears sprang to your eyes and this time you couldn’t stop the ones that managed to escape in his presence. you shook your head once again. “it’s over, yeonjun.” you broke free of him, hurt now showing through full force in your voice. “whatever we had… it’s over.”

you walked off, leaving his frozen figure behind you.

pushing your textbooks to the side, you sighed heavily to yourself. no matter what you did, you couldn’t focus—and that was unusual for you when it came to your studies. exams were just around the corner and you couldn’t afford to be distracted.

you removed your glasses and pinched the bridge of your nose. the only thing that stuck in your mind was your last conversation with yeonjun. slumping down onto the table in front of you, you looked around at the quiet library. you just couldn’t understand it.

did the opinions of his friends and strangers really matter that much to him? were you really not enough for him that he just had to keep you secret? what was it? yeonjun claimed that he wanted the two of you together, but he hesitates at the two of you being seen in public together. it made your mind twist and run in circles trying to figure it all out.

if he just wanted to be friends with benefits, why not find someone else? he could’ve saved you both the trouble. and you were sure there would be people jumping at the opportunity of that kind of relationship with him—but, not you.

you put your glasses back on as you sighed again. you hated to think it, but you couldn’t help the thoughts that ran through your head. what could you do to be enough for him?

how could you change yourself so that he wasn’t ashamed to be with you?

did you have to dye your hair a bright color? get rid of your argyle sweaters and longer-length skirts and instead wear darker clothes, more shorter skirts, and listen to the same rock music that he did? sport the frilly black dresses or the tighter, more vibrant clothing his female friends did? be more opinionated and vulgar and really speak your mind? 

it was clear that you weren’t retaining any information from your textbooks. you started to pack up, returning books back to where you found them and putting your notebooks back in your bag. you thought over every interaction you’ve ever had with yeonjun; how every moment led you to where the two of you were now. you could only think of one thing.

maybe you and yeonjun were two puzzle pieces from two seperate boards—and maybe you were trying too hard to force yourselves to fit together. maybe doing so has pushed you and yeonjun into a corner that neither of you knew how to get out of now.

without realizing the time, night had fallen around you and you stepped out into the coldness of the outside world. you looked up towards the starless sky.

perhaps the two of you should just stick to what you both know, instead of trying to go outside of the box.

yeonjun twirled the small skull necklace that you had gifted him between his fingers as he zoned out from the conversation his friends were having. he thought back to that night almost two weeks ago now, how you basically confessed that you were in love with him in your room. it still caught him off guard.

at first he thought that you were joking, until your heavy silence followed immediately after. he wanted to go back and say something other than what he did—wanted to kick himself for hesitating. yeonjun wanted to kick himself now for still hesitating.

he wasn’t exactly sure how to describe the feelings he felt for you, this whole thing was new to him. yeonjun didn’t do relationships. but, it was clear that you did. and he wanted you.

yeonjun wasn’t the flashy type or the openly affectionate type either. he honestly wasn’t sure that he could give you what you so desperately wanted from him. yet, he just couldn’t seem to let go of you either. was it selfish? yes. but, yeonjun didn’t care. not when you were slipping from his grasp.

with the other girls he’s been with it was easy. they never fell for him or expected more than the physical relationship that he had with them. they all knew what they were getting and took it at face value for what it was. but you were different—and he was different with you. yeonjun couldn’t explain to himself what set you apart, there was just something about you. all he knew was that he liked the change. he liked the different relationship the two of you had, and he was willing to do anything to keep it.

yeonjun just so happened to glance up as you were scurrying across the campus yard a couple feet away from him. he saw the way that you tried to avoid his stare, but still snuck the quickest of looks in his direction, trying to disguise it as you pushing your glasses up the bridge of your nose. the corners of his lips rose the slightest bit. he had to talk to you again, make you see that calling off what the two of you had was the wrong choice.

a finger snapped in his face and his eyes focused back to his friends. “where has your head been at lately?” his friend, beomgyu, asked. he turned, his long brown hair falling into his eyes as he followed yeonjun’s gaze, “and what is it with you and that girl?”

yeonjun straightened as he tore his gaze away from you and brought beomgyu’s attention back to him. “nothing, i was just zoned out.” he purposefully ignored beomgyu’s second question.

beomgyu thankfully turned back to him, his eyes now focusing on something else entirely. “where did you get that necklace? you’ve never worn one before that.”

“uh, i don’t know? some random store i was getting clothes from, it caught my eye—why are you asking me so many questions? mind your business.” he dropped the necklace from his fingers. yeonjun didn’t have time to explain something he wasn’t quite sure of himself, not when he had to catch up to you. “i gotta go,” yeonjun quickly added, pushing away from his group of friends as he jogged in the direction you went in.

behind him, he heard beomgyu say to his other friends, “you think him and that girl are involved?” another one of his friends’ voices piped up. “the nerd? definitely not. she’s not his type.”

“i don’t know…” beomgyu trailed, “they would look cute together. there’s gotta be something happening at the very least.”

thankfully you hadn’t gone that far and yeonjun was able to catch up to you easily. he grabbed your wrist, pulling you away from prying eyes and somewhere more private. you turned in his grasp, looking up at him with an almost defeated and annoyed look.

“this can’t be over,” he started. you looked around before turning to walk away, but not before yeonjun held your wrist again, keeping you in place. “tell me what to do to fix this—help me fix this.”

yeonjun was kicking himself again for not knowing the words to express what he wanted to say. suddenly all the vocabulary he’d ever fucking learned disappears when he tries to talk to you and he ends up a bumbling mess.

“help you fix this?” you repeated.

yeonjun nodded, “yes. i wanna be with you—i wanna be yours. if you want a relationship, then we can have one.”

you tilted your head to the side and adjusted your glasses as you looked at him. “so if i were to go up to your friends with you right now and introduce myself as your girlfriend you wouldn’t have a problem with it?” you asked him, glancing back to the direction yeonjun came from mere moments before. yeonjun hesitated, stammering over his words. his tongue felt too heavy in his mouth.

you just scoffed to yourself at him. “you still don’t get it,” you said. “i don’t want to be another girl that you hook up with—another girl that you like. i want to be the girl that you like. i want to be more.”

hatred bubbled up inside you and threatened to spill over at the fact that you were still in love with him. at the fact that you were still wrapped around his finger to the point that you almost jumped at the opportunity of a relationship. yeonjun was just saying that to appease you—to get you naked and under him again and have things return to the way they were before.

resentment started to build towards yeonjun at the secrecy. it was a lot easier to blame him for how your relationship went up in flames instead of how flawed it was to begin with. besides, it felt good to restrict yourself from him—to have him stare at you as you passed while you ignored him instead, even if you still missed him and his touch.

you knew that this was all doing more harm than good, but right now you just couldn’t seem to care. maybe yeonjun’s attitude was finally starting to rub off on you and he was getting a taste of his own medicine.

yeonjun’s brows knitted together at your words. “you are the girl that i like,” he said, “there’s nobody else but you.”

you stared at him for a moment in silence. in a melancholic voice you asked, “why do you like me?”

yeonjun could feel you drifting further and further away from him and he didn’t like it. he wanted to pin you to his chest so that you always stayed close—like the necklace around his neck you gave him. his mind raced and there felt like there was sand in his mouth as he raced against the hourglass of time that the two of you had left—and still, he came up empty once again.

it wasn’t that he didn’t have any reasons for liking you—he had plenty—it was just that there were so many that his brain short-circuited. if you just gave him the time and a pen and paper he could make whole novels. but time was running out and yeonjun watched as your face fell more and more the longer the seconds ticked by.

“because of the sex?” you asked, voice raising. yeonjun looked around the two of you before sighing and cupping your face with his hands as he shook his head. something inside him cracked at the way your eyes started to become glassy. “does the thrill of you sneaking into my window at night knowing that nobody would ever expect the two of us together excite you?” you continued. “genuinely, what is it, yeonjun? help me understand.”

glassy tears fell down your cheeks and yeonjun felt himself shatter. he tried to pull you closer to him, to comfort you, but you pushed him away. you shook your head as your gaze dropped to the ground. “you really know how to break my heart in two, don’t you?” you asked in a small voice as you looked up at him, completely defeated.

you turned and moved to leave. yeonjun tried to grab your hand, but the only thing he was able to grasp was the fleeting touch of your fingertips against his as you got further away from him. he stood completely rooted to the spot you left him in, frozen, as he watched you disappear.

suddenly everything yeonjun wanted to say to you crashed into him like a wave, but he was too late. he twisted towards the trash can next to him and gave it an angry and harsh kick, causing it to fly across the grass. students passing by jumped at the sudden noise and looked yeonjun’s way, but he couldn’t care less.

yeonjun buried his head in his hands and pulled at the tips of his hair. “fuck!” he yelled, running his hands messily through his hair. he looked up and saw a couple of students looking at him. “what the fuck are you looking at?” he angrily called out to them as he briskly walked away.

whether you intended to or not, you started to change yourself. your sweaters got darker, your skirts got shorter, and you even started to put on a hint of eyeliner before leaving. when you looked at yourself in the mirror it almost felt like there was a stranger staring back; it was you but it wasn’t at the same time. like you were wearing a cheap costume and pretending to be something that you weren’t.

you withdrawled more and more into yourself, only really emerging to take your exams and to study. you felt so bleak that even the darkness of your clothes didn’t light a match onto the way you felt inside. even your friends started to notice.

“so is this a new look you’re going for?” taehyun asked, his eyes looking over you. you shrugged and finished writing the sentence you were writing in your notebook. “i never even seen you wear black before and… is—is that eyeliner?” he added, moving closer to you until you were face to face.

you made a face and pushed him away. “it’s makeup and clothes, why does it matter to you?” you bit back, tone sharp. you didn’t mean to be so snappy with taehyun, it seemed you haven’t had the patience lately. you shifted in your seat, adjusting your skirt and sweater. the weather was getting colder during the daytime, so you decided to wear some black tights and boots.

taehyun just gave you a look, “you don’t seem yourself—you haven’t been yourself, y/n. what’s going on with you?” you looked back at him with a glare, pushing your glasses up the bridge of your nose.

scoffing, you hurriedly threw your things back into your bag. “nothing,” you pushed out, “i am completely myself. just because i wear different clothes and makeup from time to time doesn’t mean i’m not myself.” you stood from the table and threw your bag over your shoulders.

adjusting your skirt again, you swirled to where taehyun still sat, a shocked expression on his face from your outburst. “maybe you should learn to not stick your nose into other people’s business.” with that, you stormed out of the student lounge.

you were heading towards the library to continue studying when your phone buzzed. you fished it from your bag, seeing what it was from. you stopped dead in your tracks right in the middle of the sidewalk. it was yeonjun.

the wall you had painstakingly built up around you started to crack as you read his incoming messages and you felt your knees start to get weak. you were doing so well ignoring and avoiding him, how could you let a simple text from him have all of it come crashing down?

yeonjun: baby. yeonjun: i really need to talk to you.

you have come so far with shutting him out of your heart, yet one little message has all of your love for him flood back into you. why now? it’s been weeks, you were finally starting to try to move on; why would he make you love him again?

it was enough to feel his eyes on you—always on you, no matter where you went anywhere in his presence. you could almost hear his voice in your head with the way he radiated onto you. you knew he wanted to talk to you again, but he held back. it angered you. for once you just wanted him to spit it out, spit out the words hiding behind his tongue instead of always holding back.

you wanted him to fight for you, to show you that he cares about you—you, and not just what you could offer him. not your help with his studies, not the excitement he got from sneaking around with you, and not the sex. you wanted him to hold you like he never wanted to let you go ever again. and if you tried hard enough, you could almost feel his skin on yours again—and damn if you didn’t miss it all.

you heaved in a shaky breath as you stared at the messages. with another shaky breath, you pushed your phone back into your bag and kept walking to the library.

another starless night greeted you as you finished all the work you needed to do today. the cold air nipped at your cheeks and you made your way through the quiet streets back to your apartment.

you pushed open your front door, thankful to finally be home and take some of the stress off your back. you dropped your bag near the entrance and made your way to your room so you could shower the day away.

opening your bedroom door, you froze in complete shock. yeonjun sat on your floor, his back pressed up against the bottom edge of your bed as he idly flipped through one of your textbooks. he looked up at your entrance and his eyes immediately flicked over you. yeonjun flipped the textbook closed without looking at it and tossed it to the side as he stood.

you inhaled sharply, your brows drawing together. mentally, you cursed yourself for stupidly forgetting to lock your window. it’s been unlocked for yeonjun for so long now that you completely forgot about it. you stumbled over your words as yeonjun took a step closer to you. “w-what the fuck?” you murmured.

yeonjun raised a brow at your words.

he took another step towards you and his eyes trailed along your body, taking in every inch of you. “you look… different,” yeonjun said, his eyes finally meeting yours. it almost made you collapse. “it seems like i’m finally rubbing off on you.”

you swallowed the lump in your throat as you stepped into the room. you moved to your dresser and began taking out some pajamas, turning your back towards yeonjun so he didn’t see the way you hands shook. “why are you here?” you spoke. your mouth felt dry and your voice came out almost hoarse.

behind you, you heard yeonjun’s footsteps move closer to you. “i needed to see you,” he replied. “hear your voice again… i missed you.”

when you didn’t respond, yeonjun gently grabbed your arm. sparks exploded from his touch and your heart rate picked up. you sat the clothes on the top of your dresser and tightened your hands into fists. “talk to me, baby. we can’t keep just passing by each other like we don’t know one another,” yeonjun added, his voice low in the quiet room.

you turned to face him, your face full of anger. “what? now it’s too much when i ignore you but it wasn’t when you were ignoring me?” you pushed him away from you and moved towards where your desk was to get away from him. “now that you’re getting a taste of how i feel, it's bitter, huh? it’s rotting you to the core, isn’t it?” you added sarcastically.

yeonjun looked at you from across the room, “it is. it fucking is and it sucks and i’m sorry. i never knew you felt this way. if i did, i never would’ve put you through it.” yeonjun took a couple steps towards you and you held out a hand to stop him. “but, i know now. i know now and i’ll make a million promises to never put you through it again.” you scoffed.

“you bring out the best in me,” yeonjun said, running a hand through his faded dyed hair. “we bring out the best in each other, you know that. and this… this isn’t you, y/n.”

you rose your chin slightly in defiance. “and what if this is me?” you countered. “don’t you like it?”

yeonjun hummed and for a moment he was quiet. you could see the gears turning and turning in his head as he took in your appearance once again, making his way closer and closer to you until he stood mere inches away from you. you watched as his eyes dragged up your body before finally connecting with yours once more. “i like the real you,” yeonjun said.

your little defiant act fell flat and you looked away from him, licking your lips.

“i like your preppy looking clothes and how it makes you light up a room. i like the way your glasses fall down when you’re focusing on something too hard to notice and i have to adjust them for you—i like how you don’t even notice that i do it sometimes.” yeonjun took a small step towards you and your breath hitched. he reached forward and adjusted your glasses for you.

the tips of his fingers grazed over your cheek and you felt the fire light underneath you, making heat spread all throughout your body. you looked at him again, his eyes boring into yours and softening at your gaze. without realizing it, you leaned into his touch.

yeonjun continued, the pad of his thumb dragging along your chin. “i like how soft your skin is, and the way it feels against mine. i like the way i can feel your body heat up like a crackling fire when i touch you and how your heart thumps out of your skin. i like feeling you close to me.” he then closed the distance between the two of you so that you were now pressed close to him.

the heat of his body thawed you completely; crumbled down the walls you built and forced out the feelings you desperately tried to hide. yeonjun took in every inch of your face, like it was one he hasn’t seen for centuries, as he spoke, “i like how when we’re apart, i crave you. i like the way my body reacts to yours everytime you’re near. it’s like you send a shockwave through me and every fiber of my being is alight; like i finally see clearly—and all i want to look at is you. i didn’t understand what it all meant, why you felt so different—why i felt so different, but i do now. i like who i am when i’m with you.”

his lips brushed at the shell of your ear, “i like that we’re different. i like that we drive each other crazy, because then it means that we care about each other. i like you. not some other girl, not this version of you that you think i’d like—you.” yeonjun’s lips were feather-light across your jaw. he was so close to you that if you were to lean forward the slightest bit, your lips would meet. “enough with all of this. let me feel you again.”

yeonjun pressed his lips to your in the most searing kiss you’ve ever had in your life. like you were the flint and he was the steel and your kiss was the spark that set everything ablaze. you let out a small gasp against his lips from the heat of it all. it felt so surreal, like watching lightning strike across the night sky and making it almost seem like day. the more your lips moved in sync, the more lightning there was, the more the sky brightened until it was an electrifying battle between night and day.

your hands moved up yeonjun’s chest as he wrapped his arms around your waist to pull you even closer. if your hands weren’t in the way, you were sure that your rapid heartbeats would be in perfect sync, too. if your kiss was the lightning, your hearts were the booming thunder, demanding to be heard—demanding to be felt.

after the two of you were fighting for oxygen in your deprived lungs, you pulled away just the slightest bit to gulp in heavy breaths. with the last strength inside you, you pushed at yeonjun’s chest and turned your head to the side. he didn’t move far, his grip around your waist refusing to be broken. you could feel his confusion and he pressed a light kiss to your burning cheek.

you turned your gaze to your ceiling, the ceiling that you’ve spent so many days staring at and daydreaming about a relationship that you didn’t have. even with yeonjun’s words, it all still felt too good to be true. it felt like if you were to look over at your bed, you would see yourself laying there, eyes on the ceiling, lost in the world you have created.

storm clouds drifted over you. what if he was only saying what you wanted to hear? what he needed to say to you so you’d lay yourself completely bare in front of him again. you didn’t think you could have the stars come crashing down around you again if you let yourself let yeonjun hang them in the sky for you.

you dragged your gaze from your ceiling back to yeonjun’s confused stare. a pained expression flickered across your face and you tried to hide it the best you could. you swallowed, and barely above a whisper you said, “if you just want some girl to fuck, find someone else.”

you tried to push him away more, but the more you pushed, the more he pulled you back into him. until your chest was up against his and you were flush against his body—and still, he pulled you closer; like the slightest leeway between you two would destroy him. like if he didn’t hold you close you would disappear. you felt the way his heartbeat picked up even more and saw the desperation appear in his eyes as his brows knitted together and he shook his head.

“it’s not like that and you know it,” yeonjun said, his voice matching the tone of yours. “i don’t want to fuck just any girl, i want to fuck you.”

ever vulgar, yeonjun’s words, but you knew deep down that he meant what he said. and you knew that he wasn’t just talking about the sex. his fingers wandered up your sides, cautiously exploring your body on their own accord. your eyes fluttered shut briefly as you inhaled deeply. “i want to feel you, be with you,” yeonjun continued.

yeonjun caught your lips in another kiss and this time you couldn’t stop yourself from melting into his touch. you felt his need through the kiss and you were sure he could feel yours, too. the two of you stumbled backwards a couple steps and you wrapped your arms around his neck to keep yourself stable, your lips never leaving his. his tongue slipped into your mouth and danced with yours.

the clouds parted and one by one stars started to twinkle in the night sky. no longer were your skies starless. it was all too much all at once and you tore yourself away from yeonjun, shaking your head. “i can’t…” you whispered, breath haggard, “i can’t keep doing this with you. not after everything.”

yeonjun cupped your face so you would look at him again. tears welled up in your eyes and you were just so overwhelmed. you didn’t know what to do, didn’t know if you could put your love somewhere where it could be shattered again. not after you were still picking up all of the pieces of your heart.

“so let me take the lead,” yeonjun said. “let me show you how much i want you. how much i need you.”

his lips were on yours again as he backed you up towards your bed. the back of your knees hit the edge and you fell down onto it, looking up at yeonjun with a melodramatic stare. he kicked off his boots and shrugged off the black leather jacket he wore, letting it fall to a heap on your floor. yeonjun then grabbed the bottom hem of your black, argyle sweater and pulled it off of you, tossing it to the side next to where his jacket laid.

“i really do like you, you know that right?” he asked you as he stripped off one of his various band tees that he wore. you nodded and yeonjun nodded along with you. his fingers hooked under your skirt, “yeah? good.”

in one swift motion he pulled off your skirt, tights, and your panties underneath, tossing them carelessly to the side by the rest of your clothes. you were only left in your bra as you crawled backwards up your bed.

yeonjun slowly unbuckled the belt in his jeans. “you really like me?” you asked shyly, pressing your legs together and leaning them to the side. the corners of yeonjun’s lips rose. his eyes sparkled in the low lamplight and it made the smudged eyeliner around his eyes appear darker. “of course i do, babygirl.”

his voice was full of amusement, like you just asked him if the sky was blue. heat flushed your face and pooled at the pit in your stomach. you suppose it was a silly question, considering all that he said to you tonight.

yeonjun pulled down his black jeans, exposing the large bulge in his boxers. “i like like you, sweetheart. i think i’ve made that pretty obvious tonight.”

you inhaled sharply, your eyes trailing over him and the articles of clothing that kept disappearing from his body. he pushed down his boxers and his large cock sprang free, precum already glittering from the slit. he looked back up at you and your heart stopped.

yeonjun got up onto the bed and moved toward you until you were caged beneath his body. he reached behind you and stripped off your bra, lips hovering over your exposed breasts. you felt his warm breath against your skin and shivered.

“i can spend the whole night listing off every little thing i like about you,” he said in a low voice that your ears just managed to catch through the ringing in your ears. yeonjun pressed chaste kisses from your breasts, to your chest, and all the way up to where he placed a kiss on your lips. “but i’d rather just show you instead, don’t you think?”

he dipped his head into the crook of your neck while his hands trailed down your body. you pulsated with need and desire for him, and your hands splayed across his back and pulled him closer. yeonjun chuckled lowly, the vibrations sending waves throughout your body. his hand moved between your legs and spread your wetness throughout your folds before his thumb rubbed circles into your clit.

you gasped, clutching tighter to him as your back arched. yeonjun pulled away from your neck, his thumb still drawing circles, as he looked at you through his dyed hair. you caught sight of the small skull necklace you gave him resting against his collarbones. even after everything, he never took it off. you swallowed thickly and nodded at his previous question.

yeonjun’s lips brushed against yours and he pushed you back onto the bed so that he hovered over you. the necklace you gave him dangled right beneath your lips and every so often you could feel the cold metal against them. yeonjun’s head tilted to the side, “do you want me to list everything, or do you want me to fuck you instead?”

your mouth opened but no words came out, only a small moan as your hips lifted towards his hand. yeonjun hummed, stopping his movements and you almost whined at the loss of friction. “what’s it gonna be?” he asked, pretty lips attaching to your neck with open-mouthed kisses before nipping at the soft skin to leave marks in his wake.

“p-please,” you begged, lifting your hips towards his hand again in a desperate attempt for friction. “please fuck me.”

yeonjun smiled against your skin and his thumb finally continued to circle the sensitive nub. you whimpered at the sudden contact, wrapping your legs around his waist. “good girl,” yeonjun praised. he reached for one of your pillows and had you lift your hips so he could place it under them.

he grabbed his cock, stroking it along your wet folds. “because tonight, you’re all mine. and i like keeping you all to myself. i don’t like sharing.”

yeonjun pushed into you with a low grunt and you swear you felt him deeper than you ever have before. you gasped loudly at how you could feel all of him inside you and how full it made you feel. it felt like the two of you finally fit together—no longer were you both forcing each other into a board you didn’t belong to. now, there was a whole new puzzle board, one to which you both belonged.

with a slow starting pace, yeonjun thrusted into you. “how’s that, baby? does that feel good?” the wet sound of his cock dragging in and out of you and the slight slap of skin hitting skin put you in a frenzy and turned you on even more. you moaned loudly as you nodded.

“you’re taking me so well,” yeonjun said, hands grabbing your hips and pushing them down into the pillow. he increased his pace, the lewd sounds growing louder with every thrust. “gonna fuck your pretty pussy full of my cum and make you feel so good you’ll be crying my name for the rest of the month.”

his hands on your hips prevented you from rolling them up towards him, but it didn’t stop the way you back arched off your sheets. loud moans fell from your parted lips and yeonjun leaned down you kiss you, cock still thrusting into you. you moaned against his mouth from the waves of pleasure coursing through your body. “don’t stop,” you breathed, arms wrapping around his neck.

“trust me, i don’t intend to,” yeonjun said huskily. a moan parted from him and you could feel the rope in your stomach tighten. “your pretty little pussy is gonna stay wrapped around my cock all night.”

you hands pulled at the tips of his hair as you clenched down hard against him. yeonjun pulled away from your lips, a whimper leaving his mouth as he looked down between your bodies. “fuck,” he muttered in a low whine and his hands moved up your body and to your breasts. he grabbed at them as you rocked your hips upwards.

you were a whimpering mess underneath him, and if he wasn’t making you feel so good right now you’d be a bit embarrassed by how desperate you felt clawing at his skin and pulling at his hair. your body moved on it’s own as you tried to gain the most pleasure that you possibly could. your head dug into your pillow and your back arched so high that there was no need for the pillow underneath your hips because you were practically floating. 

“please…” you trailed, eyes rolling backwards briefly as heavy breaths pushed past your lips. you were so, so close. you felt so good that you could see stars again.

“shh, shh, shh,” yeonjun shushed you, his face in your neck leaving soft kisses. “i got you, baby. just let go.”

with one perfectly timed roll of your hips your body shook as the rope inside you snapped. you cried out as your release started to pour out of you and leave a white ring around yeonjun’s cock. he groaned at the sight, still thrusting into you, and your body felt limp and heavy. you started to squirm and yeonjun moved your legs from his waist and pinned them to your chest.

“shit, look at how pretty,” he almost laughed as he watched his cock disappear inside of you and reappear covered in cum. “and it’s all for me. my good girl, you made such a mess.”

your skin slapping against his, sticky with cum, sent you over the edge. you were torn between wanting more of him and wanting to push him away from all the overstimulation. it was all too much and you dug your fingers into your blanket. “jjunie,” you cried out in a gasp, your tongue heavy in your mouth, “c-can’t…”

yeonjun fucked deeper into you, amazed at your glistening pussy and your arousal for him. he hit just the right place that had you crying out more for him. he firmly held onto the back of your knees that were pressed to your chest as he trailed his gaze up your body. “just a little more, sweetheart. you can handle it.”

he threw his head back, his eyes fluttering closed, as he completely lost himself in you. you were taking him so good he never wanted to leave. all he wanted was to keep you like this, his hard cock buried deep inside of you as he pulled orgasm after orgasm from your shaking body. he wanted to fill you up with so much of his cum that it flowed like a river out of you when he did finally pull himself out. you were everything he wanted—everything he needed, and more. and he never wanted to let you go ever again.

yeonjun buried himself completely inside you, barely pulling out before trying to bury himself deeper into you. he moaned loudly as he looked down at your spent body, you were fucked out of you pretty little mind and he was close to it. white ropes of cum shot inside you until it had no choice but to squeeze out from around yeonjun’s thick cock. yeonjun blissfully exhaled, his firm grip on you loosening.

leaning towards you, he fixed your crooked and slightly fogged up glasses that fell down your nose bridge. yeonjun’s chest rose and fell heavily as he smiled at you, kissing you deeply. “good, babygirl. you did very good for me,” he murmured before pressing his lips to the sensitive marks he left on your skin. you felt his smile when you shivered slightly. “do you feel good?”

you felt as he shallowly thrusted into you, the tip of his cock hitting that sweet spot again. your voice caught in your throat as you clung to him and nodded. you felt your legs shake even more. yeonjun just chuckled, his nose dragging along your jaw before he pulled away. “good. let me make you feel even better.”

yeonjun slowly pulled out of you, watching the way his cum spilled out of your spent cunt and down the curve of your ass. he took his thumb and pushed it back into you, eyes twinkling. you whined from his actions and squirmed to the side but yeonjun held you in place.

suddenly, he buried two of his fingers into you. you gasped, “can’t t-take anymore!” your eyes screwed shut. yeonjun pumped his fingers inside you at a rapid pace and held your body in place with his other hand. “do you want me to stop?” he asked as his fingers curled inside you.

you cried out, voice almost a hoarse scream as you quickly shook your head. “n-no!” yeonjun hummed in satisfied response.

loud, squelching sounds bounced off the walls of your room from your wet pussy. you felt like you were gonna black out the closer yeonjun’s fingers brought you to another orgasm. you shook so hard and moaned so loud that it felt like your body had a mind of its own. suddenly, your brows drew together and you tried to quickly push yeonjun away from you.

it was too late. liquid sprayed from you and all over yeonjun. your body went limp as you went from shaking all over to trembling. yeonjun froze, his fingers still inside of you. you didn’t even have the energy to be embarrassed at the fact that you just squirted all over him.

yeonjun’s eyes were wide as they trailed over your body. then his face brightened into a prideful and smug expression, the corners of his mouth raising. “fuck, baby, that was so hot.” he was practically beaming as he pulled his fingers from you, hand completely wet. you whimpered at the loss, eyes closing.

he wrapped his hands around your back and pulled you up. “come on, babygirl. let’s get you cleaned up before i make you do that again.”

after getting you and your sheets all cleaned up, the two of you laid in your bed—half naked—as your lips moved in sync in a slow kiss. you were basically pinned to yeonjun and the more the two of you kissed, the closer he pressed you against him. you both didn’t even realize that it had been hours and it was already deep into the night until it clicked in your brain that you had a busy schedule tomorrow.

you didn’t want to say anything, though, because that meant that yeonjun would leave soon. you didn’t want him to go. you were afraid that if he did the illusion would be shattered—that none of what happened tonight was actually real and you made it all up in your despairing sadness.

it seemed that yeonjun remembered, unfortunately. he pulled away from your lips, moving the two of you so that you had some space and weren’t pinned to him anymore. “i gotta go, baby.” his face showed that he wanted to do anything but that.

he sat up and moved to stand, but before he could you grabbed his wrist. with a look full of sorrow and desperation, you said, “stay… don’t go.”

yeonjun paused and looked back at you—really looked at you. he saw all the cracks inside you that he caused, every single last one. he saw the glassy tears start to form in your eyes.

he was determined to mend them all—determined to make you whole again.

yeonjun turned back towards you, nodding. he leaned down to take off your glasses and sat them on your nightstand. he then reached over to your lamp and shut it off, basking the two of you into darkness. then, he climbed back into the bed with you and pulled you close to his chest.

in the morning, you woke up before he did. sunlight filtered through your blinds and made his orange hair look even more bright and saturated. gently, you reached up and took on of the blonde streaks between your fingers before dropping it and moving closer to him.

you were shocked that yeonjun was still here in the bed next to you, that this wasn’t all a dream like you thought it was. he was actually here with you. you heart fluttered in your chest and all you could do was stare adoringly at him.

you didn’t realize that you must’ve been staring for a while because suddenly yeonjun’s sleepy voice filled your ears. “i can feel you staring,” he said groggily.

embarrassment filled you, but you just couldn’t tear your eyes away from him. yeonjun cracked an eye open before his face scrunched together from the bright light of the sun. “god, why is it so fucking bright in here?” he complained.

you giggled at his reaction and his arms snaked around you and pulled you to him. yeonjun buried his face into your neck to shield himself from the sunshine. “you should probably get use to the daylight,” you smiled, “‘cause i think we’re late for our morning classes.” yeonjun just groaned.

he peeked his head out to look at you. “hey…” he trailed off, eyes darting away from you hesitantly. you furrowed your brows. “yeah?” you replied.

yeonjun inhaled sharply and it looked like he was trying to find the right words to say. “i should’ve said it earlier—should’ve said it that night. but… i just didn’t know what it all meant.” you looked at him confused, urging him to go on. yeonjun sighed and turned away from you to dig the heels of his palms into his eyes. he then turned back to you, brows drawn together. “i… i don’t just like you,” he started it, “i’m in love with you.”

your eyes widened and your heart soared out of your chest. you couldn’t help the smile that formed on your face. “really?” you asked, voice small. “you’re not just saying that?”

yeonjun fully turned back to you and cupped your cheek with his hand. he nodded, “i mean it. i’m not just saying it just to say it.”

you searched his eyes for a moment, looking for any hint of a lie but all you saw was sincerity. you then moved forward and pressed your lips to his. “well, you already know how i feel…” you trailed, pulling away from his lips ever so slightly.

yeonjun laughed, “i do.” his lips met your again and it was everything you ever needed. never again did you want another starless night, not when yeonjun makes your skies so full of stars.

you were leaving your class and crossing the campus when a hand intertwined with yours. you looked over and yeonjun smiled down at you, walking alongside you. you were still a little shocked at the public display despite the fact that it’s been a couple of days.

yeonjun pressed a kiss to your cheek. “walk with me?” he asked. “i want you to meet my friends.”

you both slowed to a stop and you looked at him with wide eyes, causing him to laugh. “they’re cool, i promise!” you looked around nervously. what if after all of this they didn’t like you? that yeonjun was right to initially keep your—then—secret relationship from them? you sighed, nodding a little, “o-okay…”

he pulled you in a different direction and in the distance you saw a small group of people hanging around. your heart thumped more and more the closer you got to them. when you stood in front of them, hand in hand with yeonjun, you gave them a nervous smile. “guys, this is my girlfriend, y/n,” yeonjun introduced you.

you smiled and waved awkwardly. all of their faces lit up, which you weren’t expecting. yeonjun’s friend with long brown hair half covering his eyes gave you a triumphant smile and held out a stripped arm warmer covered hand to one of the other boys. “i called it! you owe me forty bucks!” the other boy grumbled as he dug into his bag.

one of the girls stepped up to you and yeonjun, mostly smiling at you. she wore a black, frilly dress and had on stark black and white makeup. “i knew this months ago!” she said and her eyes darted towards yeonjun. you both gave her a confused look. “you weren’t exactly subtle with all the sneaking around you were doing,” she said to yeonjun. “you literally couldn’t take your eyes off her no matter how hard you tried. like a puppy waiting for it’s owner to come back home.”

you and yeonjun glanced at each other with wide eyes.

yeonjun awkwardly laughed at being exposed and pulled you into his side. he looked down at you and you could see the slight embarrassment in his eyes as you raised an eyebrow at him. “ignore her,” he said, waving a hand in the air. “i don’t know what she’s talking about.”

“like a puppy waiting for it’s owner,” you repeated slowly, amused. “you didn’t tell me you missed me that much!”

“oh, i like her!” the girl said. you smiled at her and she linked your arm with hers and pulled you away from yeonjun, introducing you to more of the group. you looked over your shoulder at yeonjun, who was getting teased by his friends, just as he looked up at you. he gave you a fond smile.

he was so not living all of this down.

∿ [ continue on to . . . part one , masterlist , taglist ] ︵͡   𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙜𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙚𝙡𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 (⌒‿⌒)♡

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