gio | 27 | compulsive late-night brooder | below average This place is filled with my vague ramblings. Hi, I bite.
1976 posts
December 31, 2022 -- Circling Back To This Entry Which I Posted Exactly A Year Ago.
December 31, 2022 -- Circling back to this entry which I posted exactly a year ago.
I can't say no to my kind neighbors who poured me 4 straight shots of alcohol and I have a shallow threshold for it so here I am, writing this down drunk. My head's spinning so let me get this over with quickly. Today I paid my mom a visit because New Year's Eve was her favorite time of the year. I said a little prayer thanking her for everything. For carving and paving the way for me. For all of her sacrifices. For unconditionally loving me. Great! Now I'm getting teary-eyed. I DEARLY, CRIPPLINGLY miss her. Emphasis on all caps because there is not a single word in the dictionary that can justify its magnanimity. Point being is!!! I feel like things have been slowly falling into place. I am humbled and thankful for how this year went by. It's far from perfect, but hey, a year ago today, I was only hoping to redeem a small fraction of last year's travesty. And I feel like I got so much more than that. My dad's health condition was hanging by a thread back in May but some divine intervention took place and he miraculously recovered. I got to reconcile with him too after almost a decade of radio silence (still working on this oh boy we have a lot to unpack haha!), my niece lives with my sister now (rightfully so lol), and I got promoted at work (!!!). Most importantly, I learned how to be gentle with myself. I tried my best to take things one at a time. Fight's not over yet and I have a lot more to learn but let me savor this moment and give myself a pat on the back. Said it before and I'll say it again: God, please help me tread on the right path. Wishing y'all a very happy and prosperous 2023! Cheers to better days!
Not to be that one edgy loser but I don't have a lot of things to be thankful for the past year. I lost the person who meant the world to me. That one person who stood by me through my mistakes, who cheered me on every step of the way, who believed in me more than I did in myself. Be that as it may - it can't get any worse than that, can it? This is the hopeful part of this post. Tragic circumstances kept on happening and 2021 was the absolute worst period of my life. There's nowhere to go but up from here on out, is there? If I can redeem at least a small fraction of how bad last year was, this 2022, then that's an immediate win for me. The goal is to learn self-forgiveness. Happy New Year! :)
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daftdweeb reblogged this · 2 years ago
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prettiest bouquet i've bought for mama thus far =) the newspaper wrap's so funky!!!
27
Well into the winter of my 20s, I wish I can tell my younger self not to run after validation from other people. I used to do that a lot. In the end, it didn't matter. Things have changed. I still don't know whether I'm making the right decisions most of the time. But unlike before, I'm slowly becoming surer of trusting myself, and whatever path things would lead me to, I will let them come as they are. I do things on my own now. I live and go through phases by myself. And that's just as hard as admitting that - wait for it - I'm okay. I have made so many grave mistakes. I fell in and out of love. I've dealt with loss and grief. On some days, I still feel so defeated and loathe myself. I didn't turn out how I pictured myself to be. And I never promised myself that things will get easier, but I have overcome so many adversities and learned from them. If that's not strength, then I don't know what is. So maybe I'm good enough? 🙂 Happy birthday to me! Hehe.
just gonna vent out quickly kasi grabe lord my d12 salubong x leadership debut = a success (kinda)!!! thank you po ang daming ready tumulong sakin and they've all been very nice about me feeling so anxious and pressured😭🙏onto the main event - 12.12 mayhem. wish me luck, good night!!!!!!!!!!
Feels like I'm grasping for straws 'cause I'm so overwhelmed by the amount of information that I need to take in - to the point where I feel so dumb and stupid and I'm questioning whether I made the right decision by taking this offer. I can only hope it is and I hope it gets better but the past 2 days have been kicking my butt, I'm not gonna lie. Hi.