darkforestdreams - A wannabe creator
A wannabe creator

Age: 26 years -- Pronouns: She/Her/They/Them -- Orientation: Asexual -- high functioning autistic -- dealing with anxiety and some PTSD -- but I'm still friendly! -- Loves writing, voice acting, music, and more -- My old account: https://www.tumblr.com/goldleafgardenia -- My PKMN IRL account: https://www.tumblr.com/illusions-of-the-forest

390 posts

DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim And Offender.

Twitter thread by Anosognosiogenesis (@pookleblinky) 2 hrs ago.

1) Think about a childhood bully, punching you when the teacher isn't looking. You shout, maybe push them away, teacher reprimands you for your uncivilized angry outburst.

What does that bully say, intuitively?

"he hit me first."

2) Every bully knows DARVO, instinctively. They're rewarded for it, from cradle on.

Their most natural, intuitive reaction is to deny, cast themselves as the victim. It works, stunningly.

3) They'll spend a lifetime learning how effective it is, in every situation, to cast themselves as the victimized party that did nothing wrong.

4) In the immediate aftermath, they learn that others will completely accept their lies, almost as instinctively.

Later, they learn that being known as the aggrieved victim casts a perceptual blindspot in others, who literally will not notice that they were the one doing

5) Years and decades of this reinforcement, resulting in a guy who has zero moral qualms about doing the most heinous shit you've ever heard of and going "this is nothing compared to what that guy did"

6) It's easy to medicalize this, individualize this. Diagnose the person with a cluster B disorder, make it an abnormality specific to them.
Twitter thread by Anosognosiogenesis (Cont'd)

7) The reality is that basically anyone who learned those lessons, would think and act the same way.

Those who grew up wealthy, simply had many more abundant opportunities to learn them than others.

8) It's less an individual being "sociopathic" and more that their society was eager to encourage and reward them for mastering DARVO.

9) The vast, vast majority of the absolute shittiest people you've ever heard of, had no psychiatric issues at all.

They simply spent well over 10,000 hours learning how absolutely effective DARVO is in a society that already hates the people they victimize.

10) Medicalizing it, treating it as a problem of that individual, allows you to not ask why they were rewarded every time they used it, in every situation, by damn near everyone.

11) Less "why would he lie about this?" and more "why the fuck hasn't even one person told him to knock it the fuck off and shut the fuck up"
Twitter thread by Anosognosiogenesis (Cont'd)

12) Being outright viciously hostile to people trying to use DARVO, no matter their age, would do more to stem the neverending fountain of assholes and utter dipshits than nearly anything else.

13) Your well-timed "shuttheFUCKup" when someone tries to pull that shit, may be the first time in that person's miserable life that they've ever experienced it failing to work.

14) Tell a bully to shut the fuck up, and make him fear trying to pull that shit again, does more than endlessly trying to throw the DSM at him to make it his problem and not a problem with the society that formed him.

15) Basically elon needs to shut his ass the entire fuck up.

DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender.

An abuser denies the abuse ever took place, attacks the person that was abused (often the victim) for attempting to hold the abuser accountable for their actions, and claims that they are actually the victim in the situation, thus reversing what may be a reality of victim and offender. It often involves not just "playing the victim" but also victim blaming.

TL;Dr: Stop pathologizing neurodivergent people and individualizing abuse, and start treating abusers and bullies as a social failing that are products of privilege.

Unless you want to insist that every bitchass who's ever plagued marginalized people has NPD.

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2 years ago

I adore this so much. The softer colors, the PERFECT way you drew Sans and Gaster, the interactions between them... it's all so GOOD!

I think I love Gaster's line at the very end the most, though. I've been through self-hate in the past and it's not something you just get over. Gaster saying "hopefully, in time" shows that he's willing to be patient and let Sans learn to love himself on his own, but he's more than happy to help his son out whenever he needs it~.

Sans's pillow is on the floor and his sheets are balled up in the middle of his bed, and it leads me to believe he might be so beat mentally that he just sleeps on the floor... So I made some skelefluff based on that idea.

Sans's Pillow Is On The Floor And His Sheets Are Balled Up In The Middle Of His Bed, And It Leads Me

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2 years ago

What do their wings look like? Moon probably would have lunar moth wings and Sun feels like he'd have wings like an edward's fritillary.

Like this!

Sun's are more like a butterfly's

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And Moon's wings were actually based off of a lunar moth!

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2 years ago

I can't stop thinking about that Minecraft 2D episode on the Sun and Moon show. I was (and still am) concerned as everyone is for Sun, but Moon's shenanigans are just so funny to me. I'm almost fully convinced he just decided to start goofing around to try and make Sun laugh, because he only started after he noticed Sun was angry.

...Or he was being an annoying sibling jerk to get back at Sun throwing his stuff over the edge. It wasn't until then that he started jumping off the edge to get the bucket back. XD

"Buckeeeeett!" (SPLAT)

(Also his "heart problem" joke actually does get me every time I hear it. XD)


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