Hey. Your My Best Friend, I Love You. Okay? Can I See Your Penis Btw Fuck Sorry I Didnt Mean That Last

hey. your my best friend, i love you. okay? can i see your penis btw fuck sorry i didnt mean that last part ahha... unless your chill with it ofc. but you dont have to. because your my best friend

Here's how you do it!

Step by step for all you virgins!

Step 1 - Invite her over to watch a movie (if there isn't something specific that you know she wants to watch together then give her some options and maybe include something slutty in the mix like an erotic thriller)

Step 2 - Ask if she'd like a drink (booze can make everyone a little less nervous, but obv not everyone drinks)

Step 3 - Just be chill and make fun small talk while hanging out

Step 4 - Tell her how cute she is

Step 5 - If she seems flattered and receptive then lean in and ask "can I kiss you"

Step 6 - If making out is going well then while you're at it try putting your hand on the back of her neck or her waist or thigh or just wherever feels natural etc

Step 7 - When you're escalating things (like touching her somewhere new) try to throw in the occasional "is this okay" or even a preemptive "is it okay if I-"

Step 8 - Ask if you can call her Doctor Eggman while you pretend to be one of the helpless animals that have been captured by him and turned into a living battery for his army of badniks

Step 9 - ???

Step 10 - I've never gotten this far

YOU MUST TRY TO LOVE YOURSELF WHEN NOTHING ELSE DOES. THIS WILL BE THE HARDEST PART

being aromantic and into whump is like. shoutout to whump for being a great opportunity to engage with stories about intimacy and vulnerability and powerful emotion and physical interactions with other people and intense relationships that are not presumptively based in romance. what would i do without you.