Okay. So I Went To See John Mulaney At Red Rocks. There Was A Surprise Opener.

Okay. So I went to see John Mulaney at Red Rocks. There was a surprise opener.

It was Dave Fucking Chapelle.

The second he came on stage, I was scared. By the time he was done, I thought I was going to throw up. My sister actually left and had a breakdown.

I don’t have a video (phone locks) but here’s as exact a transcript as I can manage:

TW AHEAD: transphobia, ableism, implied rape, implied bestiality, racism, sexual topics

* I had a special come out a little while ago.

* The people who got upset by it, I guess they didn’t listen all the way until the end. Because I didn’t have a problem with trans people. I really didn’t.

* But I do now!! (Cue uproarious laughter)

* And there was such a backlash. I mean, an uproar. And now I can’t tell jokes about transgender people ever again. And I won’t…ON TV

* If I were to tell my producers “hey, I identify as Chinese”

* And then I came in [offensive Ching Chong impression] and the one Chinese guy there was like, this isn’t right.

* Or what if I were sent to prison. And I’d say, no, man. I’m a woman. I identify as a woman. Im going to woman’s prison. And guess the first thing I’d do when I got in there??

* “Yeah, you bitches better do my laundry or I’m gonna…”

* To a disabled girl in the front row:

* So does that dog actually help with anything or just keep you company?

* Do you think if you put a little peanut butter down there he’d…yeah, I bet he would. He’d help you out. You ever put a little peanut butter down there? You ever done that?

* Can he pick stuff up? Like, can he up pick beer bottles? He can? I’ll give you 700 dollars for that dog. Right now.

* Later, to 2 girls in the audience: hey, you girls? Boys? Does it even matter anymore?

This transcript does not include jokes comparing Ukraine to Vietnam, jokes about Russia’s ineffectiveness (like he wants them to succeed??) or John Mulaney’s post-set comments about Dave being one of his best friends.

Tl;dr: I was forced to see Dave Chapelle. His jokes included comparing transgender people to racists and rapists. He also encouraged a disabled person in the audience to force her service dog to perform oral sex on her.

Please reblog this if you can, for evidence of his continued transphobia. I’d really hate my Chapelle nightmare to be for nothing.

Trans bettamaid 💖🤍💙

Sir, I love you

Trans lives matter

Trans voices matter

Fuck anyone that says different

💙💗🤍💗💙

I'm so tired of adults (i.e. my parents) not understanding how much I hate my executive dysfunction and my horrible procrastination problem. Like I'm constantly told by my father, 'dont put off what you can do today' like no shit I wish I could do that but sometimes I just shut down and lay on my floor for 2 hrs listening to my comfort movie theme music cuz everything feel wrong when I try to work of be productive. Like my dad has a set schedule and if u dont stick to it he gets mad so yeah. Bet yall cant guess what inspired this post

Soo anyone else or am I just being dramatic

FUCK the Supreme Court.