Egg-laying Starscream Is The Cornerstone Of The Fandom. Mostly, It's Megatron's Brood. But What If It's

Egg-laying Starscream is the cornerstone of the fandom. Mostly, it's Megatron's brood. But what if it's not?

Maybe some Cybertronians, regardless of their alt-mode (so it's not just seeker/plane thing, let's admit, Orion Pax did it too before the Matrix fucked up his reproductive health), can lay unfertilized eggs if healthy, well-fueled, and interface regularly (or use other methods to properly discharge). That's how their reproductive system keeps itself toned. So, it's Knock Out x Starscream getting a bit eggy.

Starscream stopped laying even before the war started. Being constantly stressed, underfueled, in proximity of Megatron, then on Earth, everything just screams "fuck, no". Not getting laid for years doesn't help. 

Well, until enter Knock Out. Who, after Breakdown's death, starts giving Starscream some special and oddly gratifying attention. He's not courting him. But a thorough and careful check-up, an unnecessary but attentive repair, a buffing session, adding his ration with nutritional supplements from Knock Out's medical stocks… It gets Starscream warming up to him. And not only Starscream himself. 

That's how Starscream starts coming not only for medical treatment, but for straight-up massage. Yeah, to "maintain his wings", but have you ever seen a seeker with their wings on their waist, neck, or hips? Inside their valve? Knock Out is happy to provide, though, since he gets this valve to himself for fucking and massaging his spike with its outer petals. 

That's what Knock Out is counting on, when Starscream is melting in his hands once again, pointy fingertips buried under Starscream's plating and massaging needy whines out of him. His valve is already on display and unusually wet. Nodes are pulsing like a warning light. "Someone is eager today," Knock Out is teasing, placing his hand on this dripping valve. But the reaction he gets is bordering on panic, Starscream is thrashing and whining in confusion. The sensation is vaguely familiar but long-forgotten, he feels like it's something inside of him that he needs to let out. Like… oh hell, like he needs to void his waste tank, bad, and he can't hold, and…

It doesn't happen. Something is pushing through his valve channel, spreading his flexing inner rings and stimulating his nodes so hard he's overloading, losing his kneeling stance, and falling onto Knock Out. Who, as Starscream notices when he's finally able to vent and process the input, is holding something energon-blue and glistening. 

"Oh, we're laying pretty little eggs today," Knoch Out whistles. "That's juicy".

Speaking about how the line between friendship and intimate relationship is blurred to me... Here come spicy Amica activities.

We don't know much about Amica Endura, sadly. Even the concept of Conjunx Endura remains not very detailed. The franchise is rather reluctant when it comes to romance. That's understandable and better than pushing another family-friendly heteronormative narrative. But I love space opera for Weird Alien social structures and types of relationship. And I'm here for robot fucking. So, what about Cybertronians having some traditions and beliefs surrounding the Amica bonding? What if close physical contact is expected naturally, hugging, kissing and going all sensual (buffing, massage, minor repairs) are socially and morally acceptable? And interfacing (including valve penetration, oral, hardwire connection and sparkplay) is hugely frowned upon. Like, why do you wanna stick it in your Amica? Go get a junxie. Or pick up someone who's not your sacred bondmate. Maybe the Amica bond is viewed in a slightly spiritual way? I was thinking about the tradition of Adelphopoiesis in Orthodox Christianity. Literally same-sex marriage for the love of God. Proclaimed chaste, but the hell we know all those brothers in Christ were banging each other in monasteries. So, what if Amicas being sacredly non-sexual is so deep in the Cybertronian culture that it's not even analysed nowadays? It's just WRONG to fuck your bondmate. Well, it was supposed to be a post about Drift and Rodimus being horny Amicas, but I kinda got lost in explaining the shit. More explicit stuff coming soon.

Why I don't like MTMTE Tailgate

At first I liked his character arc due to its fridge horror. See, a young bot with a freshly ignited spark, ready to hop on a big adventure and see the world with wide-open eyes... and he just trips, and he falls, and he wakes up to find himself transformed in his bed into a monstrous vermin into a fossil who missed all of the world-shuttering events. History is made, the world is now full of heroes of all sorts: Optimus, Ultra Magnus, Rodimus, even Whirl's made a name for himself. And in this realm of heroes Tailgate is nobody. Senior Shit Manager.

James Roberts dangled the carrot with the "Tailgate learning about the factions" plot, I was so ready for him to learn about the complexity of war, its causes and effects. And what I got? Autobots good, Decepticons bad, my ass. And even this gets thrown outta the window when it's Megatron's time to be the good guy. Yeah, it's just a minor plot in the complex narrative, I wouldn't complain if Tailgate himself was likeable.

He's not. Tailgate lacks qualities that I personally find endearing or charismatic, both in real and fictional personalities. He's just annoying, his naivety ends up merged into narrow-mindedness.

And holy shit, how MANIPULATIVE he is. He shamelessly manipulates Cyclonus into a romantic relationship with him. Cyclonus, whose traumatic experience includes being mind-controlled and made to, by his own words, hurt Cybertron. Keep in mind, Cyclonus is the biggest patriot their civilization has ever know, I can't imagine how much pain it caused him, all because of being manipulated. 

Tailgate causes an enormous clusterfuck of problems by letting himself be drawn into Getaway's scheme. Because of what? Because Cyclonus refused to date him and share his innermost energon! And what happens after Getaways's mutiny when Tailgate somehow gets away (lol)? Cyclonus shares his innermost energon so the damned fool can get his fill and STOP screwing it up. And what does Tailgate do? He wears it like a fucking bibelot and BRAGS about Cyclonus now being his boyfriend like it's his thesis defense in pickupology and nothing more. That's gross, man.

Yeah, Cyclonus may have a neglected case of emotional constipation and a fear of intimacy. So what? Does it mean he must be forced to open up and be dragged into an exclusive relationship when he's not ready? He clearly has a thing for Tailgate, he's in love, but what Tailgate does is abuse it. 

James Roberts, too, loves Tailgate. He gives him new superpowers, some spotlights even though what I found interesting to explore about Tailgate is lost. Characters that I find more likeable got killed off, their arcs aborted, and this "fandom marshmallow" stays to annoy me. Thank you very much.

I can't deny how important Tailgate is for Cyclonus, both story and character wise. Cyclonus loves him more than anything, and he gets better through this love. It's Cyclonus' side that works a miracle, so I don't find Cygate a complete waste of comic book ink, even though it makes me cringe. So, outside of the comic, Cygate is my NOTP, I prefer to avoid it in my reading and, since I write, my writing. It's a little sad how much fan content is not for me because of it, but there's still plenty that amuses and pleases me.

Honestly, to me pillows and mattresses for Cybertronians are 100% logical. See, with their massive squarishy-edgy frames with bulging details on their backs, there absolutely has to be something soft and squishy for them to lay comfortably on. Their pillow technology must be miles beyond what we now have. Just imagine pillows that intuitively adapt to your head's weight and shape, so that they can support massive helms but are also pliable.

And what else? Pillow fucking. They don't have human skin that could get irritated. And they can produce more lubricants, so their experience must be a whole other level.

Every Cybertronian sleeps with their bedding in more than one sense. At least once in a lifetime, which is long as hell. That's just unavoidable. So every time you look at your favorite robot, no matter how much of a big and scary baddie or a morally high-grounded goodie they are, keep in mind that they fucked a pillow. Hard and wet.

I'm trying to figure out who must be the champion, the ultimate pillow fucker. The fandom suggests that it's Swerve. But is it just because you guys like him being a loser who never gets any?

I was thinking about Whirl cuckolding Tailgate by getting it on with Cyclonus, but since I hate Tailgate it feels best for me to just take it as a starting point that Cygate just didn't work as a relationship. (Un)fortunately, it just happens. So it could be a cure for a broken heart that Whirl's proposing. Just a good casual, buddy-on-buddy fuck. What an excuse for him to shove his long ridged spike in the sad old goth. His goose neck is just made for him to stretch and twist it to peak on what's going on down there. Cyclonus makes quite a picture with his red optics flashing dimly, his plating bristling with the intensity of Whirl spiking him. Whirl may start some smug line, something about a hole being able to take more damage than a fragile spark, but Cyclonus quickly shuts him up by clawing on his frame and thrusting his hips upward HARD. Bonus if Cyclonus squirts, which has not happened for a long time, probably since Galvatron last layed his touch on him.

I have a question and a suggestion

As someone who doesn't know the character well: why don't you like tailgate?

And suggestion: tfa tarantulas x tfa prowl?

About Prowl and Tarantulas: I am not a fan of TF:A and didn't finished it, but I really like their creepy relationship in IDW. There will probably be some steamy stuff about them in this blog, when I get the full inspiration and see how to cut this jewel perfectly without just sticking to bondage. Which is fine (and canon!), but there should be more to decorate their delicious dynamic. About Tailgate: I've started writing down my point and realized it's likely to be a wall of text that deserves to be a separate and properly tagged post. I usually don't hate fictional characters. Even a complete sleazebag can be so well-written I find their character arc and their dynamics with others engrossing. I like the Magnificent Bastard type, I like complicated relationships in stories. For me to hate a character there must be a disappointing combination of their unpleasant manners, their wasted character development, the author pushing their favorite pet (whose personality their flattened in their story, yeah) in the spotlight again and again and sometimes it's the fandom who nominates the character as their "perfect pure uwu cinnamon roll" and any other reading of them becomes heresy.