Listen, I Love Artemis Fowl With All My Heart But...

Listen, I love Artemis Fowl with all my heart but...

I will never stop being angry at how eoin colfer straight up,, used and discarded a character like Minerva. she had so?? much?? potential?? like sure he screwed her character a little by making her all starstruck by artemis but that’s what made her unique. She wasn’t just a female counterpart to artemis- she was the more humane, more attuned-to-emotions version. She was a pillar of support to Butler when Artemis went MIA. Butler, who’s like 2m tall and trained to remain level-headed in all situation. Butler, who took care of Artemis since he was a baby. Butler, who felt like a failure to his entire family because he failed to keep his charge safe. She managed to give him hope that Artemis would return. He basically confirms that he wouldn’t have survived without her support. And what did she get in return? She got written off and never mentioned again, with some flimsy excuse of her having running off with some skier in the Swiss Alps. idk who that satisfied but it isn't me.

tl;dr: Minerva Paradizo deserved so much more than being cast aside once her role as a convenient female that catches Artemis’s attention when he’s going through puberty was fulfilled.

eoin colfer and rick riordan have a support group of other writers who have also either been wronged by book to movie adaptations/know they’ll be disappointed

can someone pls ask Shannon about the elven lgbtqia+ community 

everyone saying the match thing is just because she wants to be w fitz,, guys. do you understand what this means for her. even if youre talentless, in the lost cities, the one thing that unifies all of them is the right to a match list. and she cant even have that. is it really so wrong for her to want to feel less like an outcast and more ordinary, just this once? that’s why im a little ok w fitz saying it’s only logical she find her bio parents- even if it’s mostly for selfish reasons. and he apologises for that later, too. im saying that no one really understands the significance of the list to her and just telling her that matchmaking isn't important is not going to make her feel any less an outcast

alternatively: she willingly went through with it because she was mature enough to know some things were better left to others to handle

My Saddest AF Headcannon

Is that, the reason we never see Minerva again is because Artemis used the mesmer on her as well upon his return.

He met with her once, they caught up, he realized she could unknowingly reverse the mesmer he put on his parents and that he couldn’t risk her getting mixed up in his problems again.

“I’m sorry,” he tells her.

And the Fowls are no more to her.

oh to be sitting on a tree branch blindfolded when a surprisingly strong yet shy maiden pins your hands to the tree and kisses you deeply only for you to later realise it was your cold and seemingly emotionless archenemy...