Deathhazerd - Am Wolf - Tumblr Blog

mmm

many are asking this

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[Webtoon] Edit : a revision is a new smaller surgery to improve the result of the first one.

THISSSSS

Geez toxic masculinity is the worst. Honestly it’s a big part of why I’m still super questioning my gender; am I trans cuz of myself or am I trans because I’m traumatized and afraid of being the toxicity that has screwed me over emotionally my entire life, both as a victim and a villain? I don’t think it matters. I’m gonna just be cute and awesome and myself in all the ways that I want, not because of some dumb gender role. And I suppose that’s the essence of being trans!!!!

Trans men with toxic masculinity are literally struggling so much make sure they know they’re loved and that it’s okay to be loved and that they’re allowed to have emotions. 

Trans men struggle with toxic masculinity too. As a trans man who got told, “You’re not a real man, you’re emotional, you’re soft, you’re weak, and real men don’t describe things as ‘cute.’” It fucked me up and turned me into a Dean Winchester-esque man. And although I’m starting to heal, I still get moments where being the slightest bit “non-masculine” makes me extremely dysphoric.  this website seems to show a lot of love towards soft trans men, but I have yet to see a post that supports trans men who grew up believing that they had to be fucking Soldier Boy in order to be taken seriously by anyone. Not trans men who like being masculine. Trans men who had to be masculine. 

It’s always about “Men’s mental health matters” until the man’s problem is toxic masculinity. Not internalized homophobia or transphobia: toxic masculinity.

this rando just shared their whole life story under a Steven Colbert episode and I want to make a really twee feature film about them

FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THIS SAYS A LOT OF GOOD THINGS IN A REALLY GOOD WAY

its important to not use this logic to deny peoples experiences. but geez. such a great explaination of society and masculinity’s role in it. hits hard.

as a transfem, what's your insight on the way transmascs are treated when talking about their experiences?

i ask because i've seen so much harrassment towards transmascs when talking about the transphobia specific to them, and they get called transmisogynists as a result. i mean, sure, there are transmascs who are also transmisogynist and i will never excuse that, but some people get accused of hating trans women just for....talking about their own issues?

i keep seeing posts about how 'trans men don't experience a unique transphobia,' and transmascs' issues seem to be seen as less important for some reaosn

bte i am aware that most of the people heavily hating on/opressing transmascs are CIS people, both men and women. transfems who take part on this really are a minority, so please please don't take this as me resenting trans women!!

(ps. have a nice day, your blog is freaking cool and i enjoy it a lot and i hope this wasn't a very weird or complicated ask)

I'm a sociologist and I'm so very sorry. But this is one corner of something complicated.

My personal perspective is that if we are radically inclusive, if there is no easy way to break systemic oppression or groups into "most oppressed" or "least oppressed" then that means any time we step up and declare that any group isn't affected by systemic oppression we have to re-examine how we understand systemic oppression.

As a person who has grown through "I'm fine with my cis gender" to "I'm a trans woman on HRT" and from "lol men are garbage" to "men are people who struggle with a hierarchical and authoritarian society like everyone else" I can tell you that's at the heart of it. There are other ways of phrasing this like "if a TERF agrees you've probably fucked up" or the classic "putting my money where my mouth is."

As a sociologist, let me explain in excruciatingly indulgent and repetitive detail. I'm going to use toxic masculinity as an example, because everyone loves it but it gets used wrong a lot.

How it's commonly used is something like this: Toxic Masculinity refers to traits of men which are generally expressed harmfully and oppress women. It's not unusual for this to be short-handed to "men have bad characteristics and oppress women." If I made a chart it would have "Toxic Masculinity = Males" at the top, with an arrow labeled "oppresses" and pointing to "Females" at the bottom. Probably recognize this as radfem talking points.

It's upside down and backwards. Toxic masculinity is not something innate to masculine people, or even kind to masculine people. It's a system of hierarchical enforcement and it's directed at men, women, trans people, BIPOC, intersex people, non-Christians, poor people, queer people, etc. My corrected chart would look something like "Toxic Masculinity = System to Enforce / Maintain Hierarchy" and multiple arrows with labels like "punish deviation" or "reward compliance" pointing to a list something like the one above.

Now it also maintains hierarchy such as by supporting forms of sexual dominance (heterosexuality), racial dominance ("white"), religious dominance (christian) gender dominance (cis male / cis female only), wealth dominance (rich) and so forth, and you could probably draw an arrow from all these to the broader umbrella of Cultural Dominance (Western Culture) which is often described in terms of colonialism.

If you review that list, you'll find that you have to tick a lot of boxes before anyone can enjoy the unqualified support of Toxic Masculinity (and it's not even a compleat list) for a place at the top of the hierarchy. In point of fact, almost anyone regardless of gender, can become the subject of violent enforcement (or yes also rewarding compliance) at the hand of Toxic Masculinity.

All things being equal, sure, there is a patriarchal aspect to colonialism. However, all things are almost NEVER equal. In fact, they are so far from equal that none of us can effectively make any sort of claim to know with certainty about a group experiencing greater or lesser systemic oppression. When we talk about how the "oppression olympics" isn't useful, that's what we mean. It's not possible to get a special gold star of "most oppressed" that grants unique privileges of being "most deserving of care."

When it comes to systemic oppression, we have to look to the mechanisms by which it operates, and how it is present in our everyday lives, as well as try to make ourselves more aware of ways it operates that we sometimes don't see. This is what it means to "not speak over" a group - not that you can never cross contribute from people with one experience to another, but that we all need to listen to experiences different from ours, and try to find ways we can operate in the world to reduce systemic oppression based on that experiences.

For example if a black guy says something is racist, listen and try to change. If I say something is transmisogynistic, I hope people who aren't trans women listen and try to change. But also if a black guy points out how his experiences of racism relate to my experiences of transmisogyny, it helps nothing if I try to tell him he can't do that because he's a cis male. In fact, it helps us see commonalities in the hierarchical systems used to oppress us both. The two things are not the same, but if we happen to see similar mechanisms of enforcement at work, now we know one thing we can try to correct that helps multiple groups. See, we are in it together.

Sooo, with all that process understood, I'm hoping it's starting to become clear that in fact trans masculine people can and do have unique experiences of systemic oppression directed at them for being transgender and for being masculine. Transmisandry, transandrophobia, any term this part of our community happens to use to describe those experiences is a real thing. And it's good to have that terminology. We learn more about the means by which hierarchical systems of oppression maintain their control, we learn things we have in common, we get new information, we make new friends, we grow as a group and those are all really good things.

I guess this is off track. But to try and connect the dots, reacting to trans masculine experiences by suggesting there's no such thing as misandry or oppression of masculinity in general does not serve any other purpose except to maintain an oppressive hierarchy.

To try and connect the dots, I think the idea that trans masculine folx cannot experience any form of oppression related to their masculinity comes from the idea that masculinity is something which is not capable of existing in an oppressed state, or in my way of speaking they'd argue that masculinity is always rewarded in a hierarchical system, that masculinity is a form of compliance with hierarchy, which is patently untrue, but also feels very true because compliance with a very specific aspect of masculinity (cisgender binary male) is in a general sense rewarded.

But to continue on this digression, intersectionality helps us understand how masculinity can be used to apply punishment for deviance.

Ask any black person what white people make of masculine black people. What police make of black men. How western civilization in general characterizes black masculinity. I'll spoil it for you, it's really bad. The majority of white people think black masculinity is scary. Police get away constantly with treating black men as inherently violent. Western civilization as a whole built a shitload of power on the backs of treating black men as literally bestial. And there is a BIG conversation about the systemic oppression of black men via defining their masculinity as inherently dangerous as it pertains to black trans people. Which said conversation is going on for anyone who cares to listen to black trans voices.

It kinda pisses me off when I see broad condemnation of men or masculinity in general either short-handed as or openly used to describe a position of absolute privilege because just blackness alone disproves generalized unilateral male privilege, and it's REALLY OBVIOUS AND WELL KNOWN. We have been talking about police violence against black people specifically for years and years. We have prison statistics about it. It is so obvious, so widespread, that I frankly cannot believe there are people who can just talk about "male privilege" by itself like they don't know. Or like... suicide statistics of men in general. Less well known but if 50% of the population is more likely to kill themselves that suggests to me there's not really any clear cut 100% masculine privilege.

To try and connect the dots again and again, I think acting like there's no violent punishment of men for deviation from the hierarchical requirements of masculinity isn't good for other trans people either. Okay, what if a random guy, lets say an imaginary wealthy straight cis heterosexual Christian English speaking etc etc guy type guy, let's say he wants to wear some cute kicky boots and a comfortable dress. He might trend on TicTok, but he will face some form of systemic repercussions. It may be something as marginal as a few nasty comments on his videos. Or he could go out for a walk and someone could just directly kill him. That's enforcement of masculinity.

We could say all kinds of things like if he wears a dress he can't be cis or heterosexual or whatever else, but if he's comfortable being a cisgender man wearing a dress, a hierarchy which benefits from rigidly binary gender norms that reward a very specific definition of male is going to punish a cis man in a dress exactly the same as anyone who is trans. It could be a trans woman, it could be one of all sorts of nonbinary folx, it could be someone trans masculine also. It doesn't matter, because society is enforcing masculinity and punishing deviance. And most cis men will not wear a dress, because they are rewarded for conforming and punished for deviance. And some of those people definitely aren't cis, but they are very afraid of being punished. And some cis men might be less cis than they believe.

I could go on but somewhere around here I think I've gotten to the heart of the matter. Not to be cheesy but we are all connected. Humans as a social group need one another to function and grow and develop. We need one another to find ways to change and adapt and leave ourselves and our environment better than it was when we're gone. We cannot do that under an authoritarian heriarchy designed to maintain power and control in the hands of a very small part of the population, and we cannot use their systems of control as a means of becoming better humans in a better world. Repressing trans masculine voices, and being opposed to that is just one part of my whole... existence in the personal and political and social, and just happens to be the way my beliefs are intersecting with with Tumblr, but it's not the only way.

I try my best. I take whatever good I can get. And then I try to do better. That's all I can suggest and all I can do.

* I'm taking "some trans masculine people are transmisogynistic" as not intentionally being transandrophobic, but as point of order this type of language is used as a debate tactic to ascribe a general negative trait to a specific group to make that group seem uniquely negative. For example radfems like to characterize trans people as racist. However we also live in a very racist society and of course you'll find examples. Racism is a general social trait, not a unique trans characteristic. Likewise transmisogyny is a general social trait, not uniquely occurring. I don't think anon meant it this way, but I see this linguistic tool a lot.

** It also wouldn't matter whether or not mostly cis people are discounting trans masculine experiences but, again, this is more like a larger social aspect than unique. The world is mostly cis people. Of course mostly cis people would be doing anything.

*** Hierarchy itself is not innately bad. Some form of hierarchical organization is often beneficial to society when it comes to extremely large, long term, or complex processes where attempting to have everyone operate under equal direction would make the project impossible. Or, more succinctly, leadership should be a duty, not a form of control. While we can't easily say at what point a hierarchy goes from beneficial to harmful, it's safe to say the modern authoritarian hierarchy of capitalism and western civilization became harmful a very long time ago, and presently exists to preserve the wealth and power of a very small number of individuals, rather than benefit humankind as a whole.

mae all the way

gregg rulz tho

tag yourself: night in the woods

i have finally played this game, after literally every human being ever, and loved it!

theyre

.

.

tits

unusual harpies

AAAAAAA YESSS

Simz Art on Instagram / Tumblr / Patreon

i think more characters should have canes actually. theyre cool. theyre sexy. they can have swords in them. they come in any color u want.

Robotics coach was being a dick so heres a no context rant i sent to friends please enjoy

I don’t want to “punish” her I feel like it’ll just fracture everyone more, and would be kind of hypocritical in our part But like. Don’t justify your actual bullying by citing me. Because I don’t fucking care about people sTeAlInG My wOrK or whatever she thinks is happening, I care about my friends being happy. What she and many other adults don’t understand and have never understood is that, especially in an extremely low stakes environment like fucking FIRST robotics, peoples’, humans’ mental health and happiness and willingness to continue to be is ALWAYS more important than her bullshit traffic cone walls and artificial rules. What place would we be in if some mentors just listened and respected and realized that human beings are fragile and squishy and mysterious and they can’t force us to conform to their arbitrary analects like sheet metal in a brake? Kindness and compassion and forgiveness is always more effective than pain. I still can’t fucking believe her audacity in believing we are subordinate to her and taking this to mean that she can hurt us. So much of society thinks it relies on this punitive hierarchy, while glorifying the leaders who commit it. While it may be effective for business and technology, it may be the single greatest driver of anxiety, stress, and great unfulfillment in today’s world, and it’s completely unnecessary. You know why I’m always talking about living in a small town in the woods and being a fucking furry? Because I can’t fucking handle this fast-forwarded world and I believe that the rest of humanity is growing tired of it too - and maybe we don’t need all the shit we work too fucking hard for. Bitch.

oh god oh god oh god this is so acutely true im just

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Still bothered by the US cultural idea that men can only be non-romantically intimate with one another in war-like or competitive circumstances.

No: “Dysphoria isn’t what makes you trans, gender EUPHORIA is what makes you trans!”

Yes: “The only requirement to be trans is that you do not 100% identify with the gender you were assigned at birth. Arbitrary standards of transness only serve to hurt trans people and give cis people more ammunition against us. Stop hyping up these arbitrary standards and milestones.”

Read this. It's long but... You'll thank me. (Especially my trans girls.) This is Hugo nominated and for good fucking reason.

*Note: I didn't write this, nor am I trans. But the author is.

Just a reminder that we aren't gatekeeping Pride.

I know it's only April, but I just saw such a rancid take on Tiktok (and the person blocked me, woo!) That I need to vent somewhere.

The argument went "bi/pan/queer people with cishet partners shouldn't bring those partners into queer spaces/Pride because it makes those spaces unsafe for lgbt folks."

Which is a frankly awful take for many reasons.

First of all "makes a space unsafe" is not an identity. It is a behavior. And ANYONE who is making those spaces unsafe, regardless of their identity, *shouldn't be there.* Whether they are a cishet man or a lesbian, if you are making people unsafe, you shouldn't be there.

Secondly, it's blatantly unenforceable. You can't clock someone's identity at the door. You don't know if they are bi or trans or nonbinary. And no one should have to out themselves to a bouncer.

As a caveat to this, you also don't ever know *why* someone might bring their cishet partner to pride. Whether that's because this is an important part of their life they want to share with their partner, or they are disabled and need help managing their meds or mobility aides, or the partner is a designated driver. You just don't know. So even if you did know they were cishet, maybe they have a "good reason" for being there.

So between it not solving an actual problem to not being enforceable, all this discourse does is create an EXTREMELY hostile environment for, well, bi/pan/queer folks especially. Always. We always get targeted for this kind of stuff.

But also anyone who might worry that *they* aren't queer enough or not look queer enough. Trans folks who haven't socially transitioned, non-binary folks who aren't androgynous enough, ace and aro folks, people who are newly out- they see this rhetoric and think "Oh no. What is someone sees me and thinks I'm cishet? What if someone tells me I can't be there? What if I don't really belong?"

So we aren't doing it. It's shitty snd hostile and biphobic and exclusionary.

Everyone can come to pride.

Except cops.

Fuck cops.

human beings love to be like 'heres a thing with a finite number of variations' & then sort it into categories. & theyre always wrong. everything is multitudinous & unfathomable & theres nothing you can do about it. but the human desire to make sense of the universe is also boundless & inexorable & theres nothing you can do about that either.

I always fukin wanted a ds

we need to bring back handheld resistive touchscreen folding consoles

As a society, we need to bring back the Nintendo 3DS

AAAAAAAAA

UH WHAT

UH...... WHAT.........

today, march 30 2022, oklahoma governor kevin stitt signed the “save women’s sports act”, a bill which bans transfeminine student athletes from participating in women’s sports. along with this, a bill banning nonbinary birth certificate markers and a bill making it illegal to provide minors with gender affirming healthcare. this is a hard time for trans oklahomans, especially those of us who are younger. if you want to support , please consider donating to organizations that help trans people in oklahoma and sharing. trans oklahomans, please also feel free to reblog with donation links. if anyone has any links for petitions to the legislature or other resources as well, please let me know and i will add them.

donate to oklahomans for equality

donate to the diversity center of oklahoma

transpire oklahoma

Young Hunter Cinna Rosales has been tracking the same werewolf for over a year now until, much to her surprise, her target has settled down in a sleepy village called Moonhaven. Closing in on her target has never been easier until… 

HUH? Since when did this werewolf have a daughter!? Is it ok to kill a mom even if she IS a bloodthirsty wolf? 

…Well, what about kiss?😳

What happens with you mix Stardew Valley x Les Miserables, then toss in a dash of lycanthropy and lesbians?

You get My Werewolf Girlfriend of course! Go ahead and mark your place on WEBTOON before the prologue comes out!

Ferret shows the owner her babies.

original thread by @pukicho and several other users

So proud of my mother for doing her own research after I sent her that meme. A sign she hung in her car window.

YOOOOOOOOOOOO

Fucking iconic. It would also allow suing rapists and domestic abusers with awards starting from 10,000, where if the case is won, half the money goes into a fund for women seeking abortions in other states. It’s modelled exactly from Texas’s unconstitutional bullshit bill. Anyone who opposes the constitutionality of this bill would also be calling into question the anti-abortion bill.

Link here.