i don't know what i'm doing 100% of the time | chesse_n_macaroni on ao3

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With Everyone Rightfully Panning That New "adult" Scooby-doo Show, I Thought About The Gang Actually

With Everyone Rightfully Panning That New "adult" Scooby-doo Show, I Thought About The Gang Actually

with everyone rightfully panning that new "adult" scooby-doo show, i thought about the gang actually being adults today. since the original show debuted in 1969, and with them being teens back then, in 2023 they'd be in their early 70s. so have some retiree scooby gang!

fred i just figured he'd be a kind unassuming older gentlemen who still has a penchant for tiny pranks. the kinda grandpa figure who always has a few pieces of candy in his pocket just in case it looks like someone needs one.

shaggy would absolutely be like willie nelson, full stop. chill old dude, knows the lyrics to everything 70s, and often volunteers at animal shelters mostly as a dog walker/socializer.

daphne i imagine would be a graceful ager but embraces her silvery hair like helen mirren or jamie lee curtis, and supports young up and coming fashion designers/models through a foundation she set up.

velma put out a few mystery novels in her 40s that took off and now, similar to daphne, mentors other authors through creative writing seminars. she has trifocals now.

the unfortunate reality is that dogs don't live near as long as people, even ones with a tenuous grasp of the human language. but, over the years, each of them has adopted different dogs and given them as much love as they did their beloved great dane detective.

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More Posts from Definetlynotgab

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6 years ago

me and my cousins want to play a game and I  tried to suggest go fish and duck duck goose and you wanna know what came out? 

Go Go Duck


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2 years ago

Happy Halloween to everyone but Elon Musk.

5 years ago

it’s the kiss of death (you took me by surprise)

Dave's not easily surprised - unless Klaus is involved

ao3

David Katz thought he was a pretty mellow guy – except for when he was around Klaus Hargreeves. 

Dave was twelve years old when he came to the conclusion that he liked boys in the way he was supposed to like girls. He kept this realisation to himself but wasn’t all that bothered about it – he was more concerned for his parents if people found out that their only child was a fag. When his parents died, he was sad, sure, but not surprised. Dave’s old man was getting on in years and when his mother died months later, it wouldn’t take much to convince Dave it was from heartbreak. He was twenty-nine when he went to ‘Nam. It wasn’t unexpected given the circumstances – he was young and had no family left. No one would miss him if he died.

Later, when Dave a few months shy of thirty, a stranger appeared in the middle of the night in Vietnam with a flash of blue light, clutching a briefcase and wearing nothing but a towel Dave was, understandably, shocked (it might have had something to do with how ridiculously beautiful the man was, but it was mostly the other stuff… probably). The man looked up at Dave with an expression of wonder that did nothing to deter the shock – though it did make Dave feel a little self-conscious. He’s pretty sure he went bright red.

When the man (Klaus. What a fab name) had casually asked for the date, including the year, Dave was a little freaked out but did his best to appear unbothered by the question. It became a little harder when, upon asking if he was ok, Klaus barked out a laugh and lied through his teeth (it wasn’t hard for Dave to tell that Klaus was definitely not ok, and it seemed to have very little to do with being in a war zone).

Almost a month later after watching Klaus have conversations with members of the troop who had died weeks ago (honestly, it wasn’t the most crank thing that Dave had ever seen a guy do), Dave was convinced that nothing that nothing else the beautiful man could throw at him could faze him. Klaus had surprised them all, leading the boys around landmines and away from hidden enemy troops, and at first Dave found it all a little daunting. He got used to it.

The next time he was surprised by Klaus, it wasn’t so much what he did, more what looking at him in through the haze of smoke in the crowded disco made Dave do. It was during R&R and Klaus was wearing a tight yellow shirt that left a tantalizing strip of pale skin showing. In that moment, Dave knew with absolute certainty that no one had ever looked more gorgeous.

And so, Dave took a depth breathe and slowly walked Klaus over to a dark corner of the room and kissed him. Slowly and sweetly. Klaus’s lips were soft and when they let out a low moan of pleasure, Dave just about floated up to Cloud Nine.

Over the following weeks and months, Dave’s residence on Cloud Nine became permanent, even in the face of war. The only time that was ever in question was when Klaus told him, well, everything. About his horrible childhood, his warden a twisted and cruel man, about how the drugs were the only thing that made the ghosts quiet until he met Dave (Klaus said that the way Dave went all bashful and red upon hearing that, was fucking adorable). Dave even learnt what exactly the briefcase is, and in the quiet of the tent Klaus whispered to him that he didn’t want to go back, and that, if Dave would let him, Klaus would live out the rest of his days by his side. Dave realised then and there that there would never be anything else in the world that he could ever want more than that.

Eight months After The Kiss (Dave has found most things have become sorted in his mind to Before and After Klaus, Before and After The Kiss) was the first time in a long time that Klaus shocked him. The bloody Cong were raining down hell around them, the air filled with screams of terror and Dave was really fucking scared for the first time in a long time. He was scared for himself, but also for Klaus who he knew had to be struggling based on the sheer amount of bodies that lined the wall of the trench. Dave glanced to his left where Klaus was pressed up against him. At the same time Klaus looked at him and gave a tight smile. Dave opened his mouth to say something, anything to reassure his lover (and himself) that would all be ok – it has to be ok – but was cut off by the commander’s sharp voice.

“Go, men, go! Come on you skirts! Go, go, go!”

Tearing his eyes from Klaus, Dave took a breath and thrust himself up, turning to face the enemy.

And fuck that hurt.

Dave staggered back down. He was vaguely aware of Klaus grasping him to sit him up against the wall of the trench. The noise of war faded into the background as Dave looked up into Klaus’ eyes (such pretty, pretty, green eyes. Like the trees in spring), and oh no, Klaus was crying, why was he cryin– oh. Dave had a whole in his chest. That must be why.

Dave forced a smile, needing to reassure Klaus that it would be fine, he would be fine cause Dave loves him and the war would be over soon and then they could go home, move to the country and get a dog (kids would be nice but who in their right mind is gonna allow that).

Klaus was looking around wildly, screaming… something. Dave was having a little trouble hearing.

Klaus looked back down to Dave and Dave reached his hand up to him wanting to touch him. Klaus must’ve seen his hand twitch cause he lent down pressing their foreheads together (Klaus just got Dave, even without Dave saying a word and that was one of the many things he loved about Klaus – and Dave hasn’t told him that, has he? He’d have to remember to tell him).

Dave could feel Klaus’ tears against his cheek. That was simply unacceptable. Klaus wasn’t allowed to cry, ‘specially not over Dave. Dave mustered his strength and lifted his head just enough to press a soft kiss to Klaus’s lips. That seemed to flick a switch in Klaus’ brain. Suddenly Klaus was pressing his lips against Dave’s with a ferocity that was unlike anything Dave had seen from his sweet, gentle (occasionally a tad crazy) Klaus.

The world slowly faded away until it felt all that was tying him to the world was Klaus (klausklausohgodklausklausiloveyouklausklauspleasebeokklaus).

And then, just as suddenly as Klaus came into his life, the world came back into focus. With a sharp gasp, Dave sat straight up, unintentionally throwing Klaus off him.

They looked at each other for a moment, dumbfounded. By all rights, Dave should’ve been dead (and boy, was that weird to think about – just moments ago he was fading away, now he felt like his head had been dunk in water).

Klaus was staring at him in much the same way the night they had met – equal parts shock, confusion and awe. Then the moment was over as Dave threw himself at Klaus, arms tightening around his lover’s neck. Turning his head, he pressed his mouth against Klaus’, savouring the moment that almost never was. Klaus kissed back, slow and soft, tongue tracing Dave’s bottom lip. Dave could feel Klaus grin against his lips and Dave grinned right back, lips parting to let Klaus in.

Dave pulled back, and though the moment wasn’t perfect (they were still in the middle of a war, covered in mud, people shouting and dying all around them), Dave couldn’t wait any longer.

“I love you.”

Klaus, somehow, managed to grin even wider. “I love you, too, Davey. More than anything.”

(Now Dave understood how Klaus was stretching his mouth that wide)

The moment that had carved out for themselves was ruined by the commander’s thundering voice. “Katz, Hargreeves! Stop pussyfooting around, get out there!”

They both let out an instinctive “yes, sir” (even just thinking about why Klaus fell so easily into the military lifestyle, when it took Dave months, he felt hacked) as the commander raced past them.

Klaus looked over at Dave with terror in his eyes, hand gripping Dave’s in a death lock (not that Dave could say he himself was doing any less), croaking “Dave” in that soft voice that usually made Dave so happy. Dave nodded and said firmly, “Let’s get the fuck out of here. You got that magic box of yours?”


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