My Freaking HEARTthis Was So Sweet, I Loved It!

My freaking HEART…this was so sweet, I loved it!

unfair II ; yeonjun

genre: angst, fluff

word count: 3.8K

warnings: alcohol, mentions of driving too fast

song rec: shiver by lucy rose

read part one here !

i apologize for any (grammatical) errors or typos!

you fumbled with the make up brushes on the table as you put all the products back in your make up bags.

you closed your eyes for a second when you heard his laughter again. and hers.

opening your eyes, you averted them to the mirror, looking at the two through it.

the rookie idol was twirling a strand of hair in between her fingers as she giggled at something yeonjun said. her eyes were glowing as they looked at him.

you understood that. you, too, used to look at yeonjun like he hung the moon. your eyes used to glow like that as well when you would look at him when he’d hold you close. yeonjun was simply magnificent.

and that was why you could never blame the rookie idol for practically throwing herself at yeonjun, even though it made your heart feel like it was being pulled out of your chest when you would see yeonjun react to it by only standing closer to her.

it had been two weeks since your encounter with yeonjun before the show, two weeks since you officially ended whatever was going on between the two of you. though, it didn't feel right to call it 'whatever.' it was love. pure love. you both knew it.

you swallowed as your eyes rested on yeonjun. his cheeks were still a little red from performing, the glitter below his eyes faded a little but nonetheless were still making his eyes pop. his gelled hair was slightly tousled, but that was your favorite look on him because it indicated that he had danced his heart out, something you loved seeing. there was nothing as enchanting as watching yeonjun do things he was passionate about.

it only took a second of looking at yeonjun to make you feel like you were flying. flying through a lilac sky while feeling as light as a feather.

yeonjun felt your eyes on him through the mirror and couldn't stop himself from looking back. as your eyes met, you almost felt your breath hitch in your throat. yeonjun quickly looked away.

it only took a second of facing reality to make you crash down from that lilac sky and hit the ground.

you cleared your throat as you quickly continued cleaning the surface of the make up table.

a text on your phone made the screen light up and you looked at it.

anne: we are ready to go

putting your phone in your back pocket, you grabbed the make up bags and started walking towards the door, past yeonjun and the idol you still didn't even know the name of.

you felt the stare of yeonjun on you. turning around, you forced yourself to look at the man.

"we're ready to go home," you spoke, your voice monotone, before glancing at the girl's slightly annoyed face.

you wanted to let out a scoff. don't worry, girl, you have a much bigger chance of being with him than i do, was what went through your mind as you turned around and started walking through the halls towards the exit of the venue.

a few seconds later you heard footsteps behind you, indicating the boy was following you.

you were glad he didn't catch up to you and continued to walk behind you because being close to him was suffocating.

you stepped inside the van and hoped yeonjun would take the second van. well, the rational part of you, your brain, hoped that.

your heart didn't.

just as you were about to close the car door, yeonjun stopped you by gripping the door handle.

your breath got caught in your throat and you quickly looked away as he entered the vehicle.

he sat down next to you and the close proximity between you and him made you shut your eyes for a second before looking straight ahead, not wanting to make anne, another stylist who was sitting beside you, notice anything.

the van drove off and if you didn't know better you'd say yeonjun only pressed himself against you more.

his thighs touched yours and even if you would have wanted to, you wouldn't be able to move your legs as you didn't have any more space.

in any other situation you'd get annoyed when a man was taking up all the space by sitting like this, but right now it was making your heart ache. because you knew he was doing it on purpose. he was taking any opportunity he could to be close to you, any opportunity to touch you. even now.

why was he making it so terribly hard for you? for the both of you?

arriving at the dorms, the boys got out of the van and even though you refused to look back, you felt the way yeonjun looked back at you for the last time before exiting the van, taking a piece of your heart with him as always.

you expected to be able to breathe again the moment yeonjun wasn't sitting beside you anymore, but as the van started driving again and the space beside you was empty, breathing only seemed to get harder. and this made you realize once again that even though you wished it wasn't true, you needed yeonjun more than anything.

it had been a weak since you had last seen yeonjun. you thought that during this week off work, you could start getting over him. but unfortunately for you not seeing him during the day, didn't mean you wouldn’t still see him in your dreams. it was really only to be expected you would see him even when you were unconscious as he was on your mind every second you were conscious.

tonight you decided you needed to have some distraction and that was why you went out with your best friend. you danced, drank and overall had a good time. but as you sat in the cab on your way back to your apartment, things went downhill.

"i didn't know yeonjun was dating anyone," your friend murmured as she nudged you while still looking at her phone.

you felt your heart drop and her sudden words almost sobered you up. "what?"

she turned the phone screen to you and as your eyes scanned the news article, you felt your heart start beating in your throat. it wasn't until you scrolled down and saw the blurry and dark pictures of yeonjun with a girl, that you felt your insides sink.

you blinked a few times as you sat back in your seat. you didn't deserve to be shocked, you didn't deserve to be sad: yeonjun wasn't yours and he never was. and still, it felt like your heart was being ripped out of your body and crumbled right in front of you.

your best friend frowned as she noticed the way your face got drained of its color. "are you okay? what's wrong?"

you quickly shook your head. "nothing is wrong, i'm fine." looking out of the window you noticed the cab arrived at your apartment complex. "i'll see you later alright? text me when you're home.” you gave her a forced smile before paying the cab driver for both yourself and your best friend who would be getting of five minutes later as she lived a little further away.

when you got out of the vehicle and started walking to your apartment, the smile on your face slowly started fading as tears started clouding your vision.

this was exactly what you deserved for falling in love with yeonjun, for having allowed him to hold and kiss you, for making him fall in love for you as well.

you sat onto your sofa and scrolled through the article again, now on your own phone and more tears started staining your cheeks. was he really dating someone now? was everything he once felt for you, now officially gone? you needed to know. you needed to hear him say it. maybe hearing him say he found someone else, could be the first step for you to get over him.

you looked at yeonjun's name in your contacts. you knew you shouldn't do it. even in your current state you knew how wrong this was and how bad it could end. but still you couldn't stop your finger from pressing the call button, dialing his number.

the phone rang a few times, and when it rang a third time you realized it was best to hang up, before more damage could be done.

but just as you were about to remove the phone from your ear, the ringing stopped, making your heart do the same.

"y/n?"

his voice was hoarse and a little confused. you couldn't blame him, you were calling him at two in the morning.

"hey," your voice cracked, making you shut your eyes immediately as you pressed your palm against them.

"y/n, is everything okay?"

you shook your head. nothing was okay.

"yeah." your voice was barely above a whisper and by the muffled sounds on the other side you could tell yeonjun sat up straight.

"y/n, what's wrong? are you okay?"

of course he would be able to tell by your voice that something was up. you let out a small laugh, "yeah, why wouldn't i be?"

you looked at yourself in the mirror and you felt more laughter bubble up in your chest at your pathetic state. "because you're probably dating someone now and i finally lost you completely?" you laughed again, tears now starting to spill from your eyes.

"because i'm calling you at two in the morning and i feel like i'm literally dying without you?" the laughing turned into full on sobbing now as you couldn't stop yourself from breaking down anymore.

"i'm completely fine," you cried as you put your phone down on the table in front of you and you placed your elbows on your knees, burying your face in your hands. your phone automatically went on speaker.

"y/n, calm down, please, take deep breaths."

his voice only made you cry more bitter tears. you wanted to listen to him and try steadying your breath, but it was impossible. you couldn't calm down anymore. your heart was being crushed to the point it felt like your lungs were starting to get affected too.

"please, come over," you managed to let out in between your sobs.

"i'm already in my car," yeonjun replied, his voice stern but thick, filled with worry and pain.

you closed your eyes, feeling a light spark flash in your broken heart.

"i'm on my way, baby," yeonjun murmured.

getting from txt's dorms to your apartment would normally take about ten minutes by car. but it had only been five minutes when you heard a knock on your door, indicating that yeonjun had been speeding through the city to get to you.

you had called yeonjun in an impulse, but now as you walked to the door, you were slowly starting to realize that you really asked him to come to you, after everything you'd done to him. nerves rushed through you and your hand was shaking as you reached for the door handle.

but all your nerves disappeared the moment you opened the door because only a second later yeonjun's arms were wrapped around you in a tight embrace. you started crying again, but this time it wasn't completely out of despair. this time, a part of it was out of relief you were finally in yeonjun's arms again, your safest place. his familiar scent entered your nose and it made your anxious heart slowly start beating at a normal pace again. yeonjun's fingers tangled in your hair as he held your head against his chest, softly whispering sweet nothings in your ear. "i'm here, baby, don't cry anymore."

your arms tightened around his torso, your fingers gripping at the soft material of his gray hoodie. the same hoodie you wore when the two of you had been at the beach at one in the morning and it had started getting chilly. you remembered the way he had put his hoodie over your head before pulling you closer to him on the soft blanket in the sand. you had laid on his chest and talked with him about everything and anything until the sun had started rising.

the memories and the way yeonjun was stroking your hair right now made your tears slowly stop pouring and your breathing start getting steady again. you pulled back from his embrace and immediately missed the warmth of it as you looked up at yeonjun.

"you drank," yeonjun noticed as he looked in your exhausted eyes, "and you look exhausted.. you haven't been taking care of yourself, have you?"

you looked at him with a saddened expression, your eyes almost closing out of exhaustion. "i'm sorry for calli-"

he quickly shook his head. "don't say that."

he slowly raised his hand to wipe your tears away, but just before it could touch your cheek he hesitated. you closed your eyes, indicating that you were waiting for his touch, and you softly smiled when you finally felt it. his fingers stroked your cheek and pushed the fallen strands of hair behind your ear. "you need to sleep, y/n."

you nodded, letting yourself enjoy the feeling of his warm hand against your cheek for a little longer. "i don't want this moment to end," you whispered making yeonjun feel heavy with emotions.

"you're drunk, y/n. i don't know how much of this you will still dare to say when you're sober. i'm scared to hold onto the things you're saying now," yeonjun admitted quietly.

you slowly nodded as you stepped away, a small stumble in your steps. "that's fair."

yeonjun was quiet for a second as he let his eyes glide over you. "come on," he whispered as he took your hand. without thinking twice you grabbed his hand.

yeonjun closed the door behind him as he entered your familiar apartment. as his eyes fell on the sofa, he couldn't help but immediately remember the night he had kissed you there. the rest of his members had gone home to their families that day, but yeonjun's family were overseas during that time. so after a long day of practice, he didn't want to go to the dorms. he didn't want to be alone. so you invited him to eat dinner at your place. it was supposed to be completely friendly, but the two of you should have known that such a thing as "friendly" did not exist for two people in love. maybe the two of you did know, but just decided to play dumb. and that worked, until it didn't.

yeonjun quickly snapped out of his thoughts as he led you to your bedroom. you sat down on your bed, your eyes barely open as exhaustion was getting the best of you. yeonjun opened your closet and went to grab an oversized shirt for you but froze when he realized the white shirt laying on the shelf was his. the familiar ache he had felt the past days whenever he thought about you returned and he bit his lip, trying to hold back the tears pressing against his eyes before taking the shirt out and grabbing some shorts. he gave you the clothes and told you to change as he went to get make up wipes from your bathroom.

when yeonjun came back, you were dressed in the shorts but only had a top on, the shirt still in your hands.

"this is yours," you mumbled, your voice small. you held the shirt out to yeonjun. "i'm sorry for not giving it back sooner. it just smelled like you and i needed to have it with me for a little longer."

yeonjun felt something in his heart crack when he heard your words. "y/n, please stop. don't say these things when you're drunk," yeonjun whispered, hurt lacing his voice.

you didn't reply to this, but you deep down knew you weren't drunk enough to not realize what you were saying.

he grabbed the shirt from you before kneeling in front of you and putting the material over your head.

the sweet scent of the shirt engulfed you and you couldn't help but weakly smile. the smile stayed on your lips when yeonjun held your face as he gently cleaned the make up off your face with the wipes.

after he was done, you got under the covers and yeonjun got up from the floor. he walked to the door and his hand was hovering over the light switch as he looked at you.

"sleep well, y/n." the smile on his face was soft but it didn't reach his eyes as he looked at you.

because tomorrow he wouldn't be allowed to hold you close anymore. tomorrow he wouldn’t be allowed to whisper sweet nothings in your ear and wipe your tears anymore. he wouldn't be allowed to stroke your hair and hold your face as he cleans your make up anymore. tomorrow everything would be different again. and that was why tonight was a blessing and a curse for him.

yeonjun turned off the lights and just as he was about to leave your room, he heard your small voice coming from your bed.

"please don't leave, jun."

he stood still for a second. he should be leaving. he shouldn't be making things harder for the both of you. but you were asking him to stay. and he could never say no to you. so after a while, he nodded and gave you a weak smile. "okay."

rays of sunlight peeked through the small openings of your curtains and made you slowly open your eyes as a yawn left your lips. you rubbed your eyes and sat up straight before your eyes fell on the medication and the glass of water on your nightstand. you frowned, you didn’t put that there.

suddenly realization hit you as you remembered everything that happened yesterday night. you looked down at the familiar shirt you were wearing and you got your confirmation that yesterday night was in fact not a dream.

your eyes widened when you remembered you asked yeonjun not to leave. you jumped out of bed, almost tripping over your own feet as you made your way out of your bedroom and to the living room.

your heart slowly sank when silence and emptiness greeted you there. so he didn’t stay. you blinked a few times and you felt stupid for the way your eyes were starting to water.

all of a sudden you heard a sound coming from your kitchen and you frowned before making your way to the said area of your apartment.

your eyes widened when they fell on the person standing in front of the stove with their back facing you.

"jun," you whispered making the boy almost jump.

"i didn't know you were up already," he breathed when he turned around. you didn't even notice the smile that was growing on your face at the sight of yeonjun making breakfast.

he stayed. he kept his word.

"you stayed," you quietly spoke. "i told you i would, didn't i?" he replied with a small smile. you nodded. "you did."

it was quiet for a few seconds as the two of you just looked each other in the eyes.

"yeonjun, we need to talk." "y/n, we need to talk." the fact that the two of you said the same thing at the same time made you let out a nervous laugh and yeonjun looked down, biting his lower lip to hold back a smile.

after placing the freshly made breakfast on the table, the two of you sat down and quietly ate the food but not without throwing secret glances at each other and getting rosy cheeks.

when you were done, yeonjun decided to be the first one to speak up. "the articles were edited, y/n. they still caused so much heisa but i want to make clear to you that i am not dating anyone. i need you to know that," he spoke sternly while looking you into your eyes.

the moment the words left his mouth, it felt like a weight fell off your shoulders but at the same time another weight got added; he wasn’t dating anyone which meant moving on would be harder again.

“i don’t want to move on from you, y/n. and as selfish as it sounds, i’d rather die than have you move on from me,” yeonjun made known as if he could read your mind. your heart sped up.

standing up from your chair you shook your head as you started walking towards the window while picking at the skin around your nails. it was a habit of yours whenever you were nervous. “but yeonjun, how could we ever work? if someone would find out we’d both be in so much trouble, especially you. i-i can’t let you risk your caree-“

yeonjun also stood up and followed you. “y/n, you are not the one to decide that for me. even if someone were to find out, we would still figure it out. my career wouldn’t get affected, i promise.” you felt his presence behind you.

was he right? could the two of you figure it out and make this work?

warmth spread through your body when you felt his arms slowly sneak around your waist and pull you against his chest. you closed your eyes as you leaned back against him, letting your head rest against his collarbone. “i just want what’s best for you,” you whispered earnestly. he lowered his head before burying his face in the crook of your neck.

“you are what’s best for me. you know that,” he replied quietly, making your heart grow a size as goosebumps sprang up over your bare arms.

you turned around in his arms and your eyes locked with his. they were sad but you could also see the hope in them. you raised your arm and softly brushed some strands of hair out of his face, making the boy close his eyes as a safe feeling washed over him.

“please, give us a chance again,” he whispered as he let you stroke his cheek.

your lives and the people in it might not have agreed, but yeonjun and you were meant for each other and you weren’t going to deny that anymore. you weren’t going to lie to yourself and to him anymore. both of you deserved better than that. the love between you two deserved to exist, you were sure of that now.

so after a while you finally nodded, a soft smile growing on your face.

“okay.”

thank you all so much (especially the people tagged below who asked for a part two) for loving and supporting part one! you guys really motivated me to write a part two. i hope you enjoyed reading it <3

@madirecs @softie00 @pupupukyoong @hwxngjins @wonywish @strawbrinkofdeath @mulligrubsss @duyukneeewowutimeeen-anjodi8 @dreamlidia @yaintpaint

masterlist

After sifting through a ton of manicure and tattoo idea pins, here’s what I got! Thanks for the tag @hyungieyoongi!

Feels on point for the most part! Tagging @decembermoonskz @alpacaparkaseok @sunnysidefangirl and whoever else wants to join!

🦋 THE FIRST 9 PICS FROM PINTEREST ARE YOUR VIBES

what is going on why is half of this jihoon ??!???!???

(thanks for the tag bae @ravenori <3333 )

tagging ; @lustfulpjm @koostarcandy @too-many-fandom @twilightau @fairyofhee & anyone else who wants to do it!!

I really love your new Beomgyus fic ;;w;; gehhh im drowned with feelings, he really looks hot i bet when playing fencing, thank you so much for writing ;;w;; hope you have more Gyu fic in the future later, have a nice day

Thank you so much!! I absolutely have no doubt that Beomgyu would look hot fencing 😵‍💫 And I’m currently working on a Halloween Taehyun fic, but I have a suspicion that a Beomgyu fic may happen before that gets posted. Thanks for reading! ☺️

This made my freaking day! I’m honored my txt fics are being recommended to other people 🥹

Hiiiiiii. i just wanted to ask you for some txt recos 😭 (writers and/or fanfics).

Ps. Love ur work. You're literally my favorite writer on this app 😌🤍

hiii <3 i have a side blog where i reblog fics i love: @loveliestfelix-recs :) !! some writers i really enjoy reading the works of are @sungbeam @lotus-dly @delacyrose224 @lixesque and many more, but these are the ones i can think of rn off the top of my head

also thank you SO much omg?? wow that means the world stop😭🤍 so glad you enjoy my works :’)

So glad you liked it!! Also the fact that this is almost at 300 notes is wild to me 🫣

Message in a Bottle

-Pairing: Beomgyu x reader

-Words: 4.8k

-Rating/Warnings: SFW, non-idol AU, rock band AU, best friends to lovers, mentions of drinking, mild cursing, fluff, angst

-Author's Note: This Taylor Swift song has been begging me to write a fic, so here we are! Beomgyu just won't leave me alone these days, so here's a New Year's Eve fic centered around the one and only Mr. Choi. Enjoy!

------------------------------

“For the fancy lady with the new job.”

You roll your eyes as your best friend exits the ice cream shop in front of you, gloved hands clutching two soft serves as he smiles at you. Eye roll aside, you take the strawberry confection out of his hands. Though it makes next to no sense in the dead of winter, a hallmark of your friendship with Beomgyu is getting ice cream together, no matter how the weather protests.

“I’m not fancy,” you finally say around a mouthful of ice cream. Beomgyu simply shakes his head, rolling his eyes back at you.

“Okay, whatever you say. Just a new job then, in a nice building downtown, with a pay raise. Not fancy at all.” He grins goofily across his cone to you as you give in and laugh. “But seriously…how do you feel about starting a new job right before the new year?” Concern laces his features-he knows that you’ve been searching for a new job for a while, but he also knows how change makes your stomach churn, which is exactly what it starts doing when you reply.

“I’m nervous. Excited, but nervous. What if everyone thinks I’m incompetent? Or just doesn’t like me?” You scuff your boot against the sidewalk, back and forth.

“Well one, you’re not incompetent because you wouldn’t have gotten the job if you were, so there’s that off the table. And if they don’t like you? I’ll come kick their asses.”

You know he’s joking, but as you look up at Beomgyu, you can’t help but notice a hint of steel behind his usual mischievousness.

“You couldn’t kick anyone’s ass if you tried,” you retort, swatting your arm towards him. You’re surprised when he catches your wrist in a tight, strong grip, the veins in his forearm standing out a little when he takes a step closer to you.

“Don’t forget I’ve been working out lately…don’t try me, or I’ll kick your ass.”

You stick your tongue out in response, which leads him to pick you up and sling you over his shoulder. You squeak out a gasp, and immediately start pounding on his back, demanding he put you down. He cackles, and doesn’t comply until he’s dropping you off at your apartment doorstep a block down from the ice cream shop.

“I told you, don’t try me. Have a great first day of work at your new job tomorrow!”

He’s gone before you can even respond.

—------------------------------

The first week and a half of your new job goes by in a blur. You’re learning new systems, new coworkers’ names, and just generally it feels like an overload of information. Even with everything happening with a learning curve, you don’t feel incompetent, and you feel well-liked to your pleasant surprise. However, what you didn’t expect was your boss to tell you about the company’s New Years’ Eve party…and how excited he was to see you and your plus one there in a few days’ time.

You don’t have a plus one.

Unless…?

“So how’s the new job going? Tell me all the juicy gossip, I want to know everything!” Beomgyu shouts into the phone over the noise of wherever he’s at.

“There’s nothing that juicy to tell, promise. I’m still learning everything, it’s been fun though. So far, so good!” You can’t help smiling as you talk, the giddy energy from your job change still coursing through you. There's silence before you continue.

“But…”

“But what? Do I need to kick someone’s ass? I told you I would,” he laughs.

“No, no, nothing like that. It’s just…the company has this fancy New Years Eve party in a couple of days…”

“...so? Sounds like a good time.”

“Yeah, I guess so. But, my boss just told me about it yesterday. And he’s expecting me to bring a plus one, everyone is.”

“Okay, so ask that dude from your last job that you liked. Soobin, isn’t that his name?” Beomgyu sounds nonchalant, like nothing you’re saying should be of any concern.

“Okay, one, I would never do that. Two, Soobin isn’t even interested in me like that, he told me so when I asked him out for coffee once.”

Beomgyu sputters into something he’s drinking, you’re not sure what.

“Why am I just now hearing about this, exactly? Also, he’s completely stupid to not be interested in you, any guy would be lucky to date you,-”

“Thanks for the pep talk, Gyu, but that’s not why I called you.” You pick nervously at your nails, and though he can’t see you, he can tell that you feel uncomfortable.

“So why did you call? Are you okay? Did something else happen?” He’s soft in his response to you, and you know if he were here in person, he’d be drawing you into his side.

“I lied to my boss.” You swallow thickly, your gaze darting around your living room where you’re now pacing.

“Lied? What did you say?”

“...that I had a boyfriend?” you reply quietly.

“Okay…who? Who did you mean?”

“...you. I told him I was bringing my boyfriend, Beomgyu.”

There’s a long, long silence that hangs in the air as you wait for your friend to say something. Anything.

Suddenly, there’s a loud barking laugh from the other side of the phone.

“That’s all? Please…I’ll be the best boyfriend you’ve ever had. Your boss will be impressed because I clean up well, your coworkers will be swooning, and you’ll be the life of the party. What a fun time!”

“You’re not mad at me?”

“No, never! At least not for something like this, anyway. I’m excited! I’ve never been to a fancy New Years Eve party, this’ll be great. We should go shopping for outfits tomorrow, yeah?”

“Sure. I’ll see you then, I guess,” you reply before ending the call.

What the heck had you gotten yourself into?

—--------------------------------

The next day passes in a rush of shops, suits, and sequins until the two of you settle on an outfit each for the party. You still feel guilty for lying to your boss and roping Beomgyu into pretending to be your boyfriend, but he repeatedly reminds you throughout the shopping spree that he is absolutely fine with the whole thing, citing ‘being able to practice acting’ and a love of fancy parties as reasons to not be worried about it.

However, you can’t help but worry as you slip into a bright sequined jumpsuit on New Year's Eve. It’s flashier than anything you would ever wear normally, and no matter which way you move, light dances off the silver sparkles covering your body. A small sigh escapes you as you resign yourself to the attention you’ll surely draw, and the sigh turns into exasperation as you attempt to pull the zipper of the jumpsuit fully up, only to get stuck at the middle of your back.

“...hello?” You hear Beomgyu’s voice echo down the hallway towards your room, causing you to glance over at the clock by your bedside. 6:35. Shit. You’d told him to pick you up at 6:30, and you hadn’t even heard him knock.

“You didn’t answer the door, so I just used the spare key…are you okay?” His voice sounds closer, and you hear the door to your bedroom open slowly.

“Can you…ugh…help me…with this stupid zipper?!” you exclaim, giving one last tug before letting your hands fall to your sides.

“I’ve got you.” You feel his hands sweep your hair over your shoulder so he has access to your back, and in one swift move, he’s got the zipper pulled to the top of the jumpsuit. You look up into your full length mirror to see Beomgyu gently readjusting your hair to cascade down your back again.

He then leans in over your shoulder, hands loosely covering your hips. “You look lovely,” he murmurs in your ear, the low baritone of his voice causing goosebumps to rise on your bare arms.

As he steps away from you, you can see he’s chosen to wear black dress pants with a white button down, black tie, and a black leather jacket.

He looks good. Really good. So good, you don’t realize you’ve been staring silently until he says, “Yeah, I really leaned into the whole ‘I play guitar in a band’ aesthetic. It’s not too much, is it?”

You attempt to respond only to be met with a dry throat. You cough, trying again. “No, Gyu. You look so good. Great.” A steady heat is making its way up your neck and face, which isn’t helped when Beomgyu seems like he’s suddenly getting shy, hand reaching to rub the back of his neck.

“We should head downtown, don’t want to be late!” you chirp cheerily, trying to make things less awkward. Beomgyu seems to snap out of whatever headspace he was in and his usual grin makes his way across his face.

“After you, m’lady.” You roll your eyes, and he just pokes your side as you both walk out of your apartment.

—--------------------------------

The ride downtown is comfortable, both of you having recovered from whatever had happened in your bedroom. Beomgyu parks his car in the garage of a towering skyscraper downtown, and you’re shocked to see that your company has rented out one of the most coveted views in the whole city. The two of you head inside, duck into an already crowded elevator, and head to the 15th floor.

As everyone piles out, your best friend reaches for your hand, which you jerk away from without thinking.

“Hey, I’m your boyfriend tonight, remember? We’ve got this.” Beomgyu reaches for your hand again, and this time you let his fingers intertwine with your own. Though the feeling is foreign, it’s comforting all at the same time. You glance over at him, clearly nervous, and he gives your hand a gentle squeeze. You steel yourself, and head into the party.

Turns out you needn’t have worried about most of the night. As predicted, your jumpsuit does garner a lot of attention, but with that attention come a lot of sincere compliments. Beomgyu is a hit with everyone-your boss is impressed with his day job, and your coworkers are fascinated with the fact that he’s in a band and he writes a lot of the music they play. You even notice a few of the women you work with giving him side glances when they think you’re not looking, which makes you laugh.

All the while, Beomgyu plays the part of the doting, attentive boyfriend. When your boss chats with him about his work, he makes sure you’re a part of the conversation. While coworkers are asking about his band, he pulls you close and keeps an arm around your waist while he’s talking, telling them all about his latest song which happens to be about you. You thought he hadn’t noticed the stares from other women, but it seems every time you catch one, he’s whispering in your ear, kissing the top of your head, or asking you to dance with him.

All of the attention feels so natural, it throws you for a loop. There’s a flush coloring your cheeks every time Beomgyu dances with you, both from the effort you’re exerting and his warm gaze that seems to travel up and down your body watching your every move. You’re enjoying what might be your tenth or twelfth trip to the dancefloor, when suddenly Beomgyu’s hands wrap around your waist, pulling you so close that you’re chest to chest.

“Hi,” he murmurs into your ear, just loud enough to hear over the music that’s shifted into a slow song.

“...hi,” you squeak out, looking up to find his deep brown eyes gazing down at you.

“Have I told you how pretty you look tonight?” he hums, a smile tugging at one corner of his mouth.

“You told me earlier before we left my apartment. And then again earlier tonight while we were talking to my coworker.” You raise an eyebrow questioningly.

“Funny, I can’t remember either of those…guess I’ll just tell you again. Silly me.” He takes your confusion as an opportunity to spin you out and back again into his arms.

“Beomgyu…what’s gotten into you? I know you’re pretending to be my boyfriend, but no one can hear us over the music right now.”

“I know. There’s just a guy over by the drinks who keeps looking over here at you, hoping I don’t notice. Except I have…and I don’t appreciate it.” You follow his glare over to one of your new coworkers, who sure enough is looking your way, though he tries to poorly cover it up once you both are staring at him.

“Are you…jealous?” You can’t believe the words that are coming out of your mouth, but you don’t know what else to call Beomgyu’s behavior other than jealousy.

“I, in fact, am not jealous, thank you for asking. I just don’t appreciate that he thinks it’s okay to openly stare at someone that for all intents and purposes has a boyfriend tonight, that’s all. C’mon, let’s go up to the roof and get away from creeper over there.”

Beomgyu laces his fingers with yours and creates a path through the partygoers, through a small door and up a staircase to the roof. You gasp as you walk up to the edge of the building, the skyline in front of you taking your breath away.

“It’s beautiful.” You can’t think of a better word to describe the scene in front of you, and you look to the man beside you to see if he agrees, only to find him staring at you instead.

“It really is.” His gaze never wavers, and he steps closer to you. “Check the time,” he whispers softly.

11:59.

“Happy New Years, lovely.” His breath fans out over your face, and you find yourself drawing closer as if by some unseen force until your lips are meeting his.

It’s not what you expected, to be kissing your best friend on New Year’s Eve. Or ever. But you can’t say you’re too upset about it. Beomgyu’s lips are soft and full, gentle with you as if you might crumble beneath him if he’s too harsh. His tongue softly prodding against your lips is what brings you back to reality, pulling away with a dazed and panicked look on your face.

You just kissed your best friend. Beomgyu just kissed you.

You clear your throat and take a step to distance yourself from him. Even though you see him try to school his features into neutrality, you know him too well-there’s a ghost of hurt flickering behind his eyes and your heart sinks into the pit of your stomach.

Before you can even say anything, he beats you to it.

“Here, you’re shivering. I’ll take you home.” He wraps his leather jacket around your shoulders and heads back down the staircase to the party, making sure you’re following him every so often.

The ride home is just as silent as the one downtown, but this time it’s not comfortable. You keep wanting to say something, but keep your mouth shut in fear of making the whole situation worse. You didn’t know how you felt, and you didn’t want to mess things up further by saying something completely stupid. Side glances at Beomgyu tell you nothing, as he’s managed to shove whatever he’s feeling so far down inside, all you can see is the neutrality he’d been attempting earlier.

Once you get to your apartment, you hand back his jacket wordlessly. As he turns to leave, you reach out and grab his arm. He looks back at you, a small flicker of hope igniting in his gaze.

“See you tomorrow?” It comes out in a small, weak voice.

Beomgyu shakes his head, trying to smile but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“I’m leaving for our new year gigs tomorrow. I won’t be back for a week and a half, and I’ll be hard to get ahold of. I’ll see you when I get back, okay?”

You nod meekly.

“Beomgyu?”

“Yeah?”

“Are we okay?”

You see him shift his weight from foot to foot as he suddenly can’t seem to look you in the eyes.

“We will be. Take care of yourself, okay? Since I won’t be here to do it for you.” A small laugh escapes him as he turns and walks away. You stare after him long after he’s out of sight, wondering if you’ve just ruined the closest relationship you’ve ever had.

—-------------------------------

The following week drags on forever without Beomgyu. At work, it feels like you’re on autopilot, not quite paying attention to things you’re being asked. Your mind keeps wandering back to New Years Eve, and the fact that you had kissed your best friend. Obviously he must have gotten swept away in the moment, pretending to be your boyfriend? Or maybe he did have feelings for you. But where did that leave you? Did you have feelings too?

It doesn’t help that communication between the two of you is sporadic, as his signal goes in and out as he’s traveling, and when he’s in a city, he’s practicing, playing a gig, or hanging out with his bandmates. The best you can manage is texts sent that he responds to hours later, if not days. As if he knows you’re thinking about him (but when have you not been this week?), your phone pings with an incoming text message.

You (10:05 PM): Hey, hope you and the band got to your hotel safely!

Gyu (11:37 AM): Hey! Sorry it took so long to respond, but yeah we did. The gig last night was sick! :D

You don’t bother texting back since you know it’ll be another day before he responds. You sigh heavily instead and gather your belongings to head home since you only work half days on Friday. At least it’s the weekend, and Beomgyu will be home in a few days…hopefully things can go back to normal soon.

—--------------------------------

Turns out the weekend can’t even save you. As you go through the motions, you realize just how closely intertwined your life is with his. Ice cream trips. Movie nights with takeout. Walks in the park catching up on your week. Doing all of it by yourself feels wrong, like you’re cheating on your best friend by not including him. But that’s absurd. Right? You’re staring at your ceiling in bed on Sunday night, thinking about the last time you had a sleepover with Beomgyu. You had both been a little drunk, giggling over the smallest things, and even though he had been further gone than you, he helped you get ready for bed. Used a makeup wipe to gently remove your mascara, made you brush your teeth while he watched. He’d then patted you on the head once you’d crawled into your sheets, saluting you as he clumsily made his way to the couch to fall asleep himself.

You turn to face the empty side of your bed, wishing he was here beside you.

…wait.

What?

You roll back immediately to stare at your ceiling again. You wished he was here beside you? He never stayed in your bed with you, even on your drunkest of nights…he was always on the couch. So why did your brain suddenly think that? Flashes of New Years Eve come crashing back into your head, Beomgyu’s lips insistently pressed against yours, tongue seeking entrance to your mouth before you had stepped away. The memories make you feel warm and tingly all over, wishing again that he was laying beside you. And you remember how you haven’t been able to get him out of your head all week, even though he’s gone to do shows before. All of it together suddenly makes sense, and you want to hide from yourself at how stupid you’ve been.

You just might be in love with your best friend.

—-----------------------------

Your realization haunts you through the next day. You want to wait to talk to Beomgyu until he’s home, but something keeps tugging at you the whole day to reach out before then. A text seems entirely too casual, plus what would you say? ‘Hey I think I love you?’ Absolutely not. You’ll call him.

Except when you finally sit down to do so after dinner that night, it goes to voicemail. Of course it does, he has a show tonight. Nevertheless, you brace yourself to record after the beep-you’ve thought way too hard about what you need to say to chicken out now.

~Beep~

“Hey, Beomgyu, I hope your show is going really well tonight…um, I just wanted to call because-nothing’s wrong, so don’t worry about that! Anyway, I just thought it was too important to send via text so here I am, leaving a voicemail…”

You take a deep breath, realizing that you’ve started to ramble and aren’t making a ton of sense.

“-like I said, this is important. One, I am so sorry I stepped away from you on New Years Eve, I think I just freaked out? There was absolutely nothing wrong with you kissing me, at all. It was nice, actually. Two, I miss you a stupid amount. This weekend every time I did anything, I wanted you with me…which leads me to three. I realized because of how much I missed you that I want to spend time with you all the time. I found myself wishing you were sleeping next to me last night? So that was new. Anyway, all that to say-I miss you. I miss hanging out with you. I figured out I miss your lips and that kiss from New Years as well, so what I’m trying to spit out is…I think I love you, and-”

You’re suddenly cut off by the beep of his voicemail box, telling you you’ve reached the message time limit.

“Dammit!” you curse, hurling your phone against your couch. You let out a shaky breath, and pick it back up.

There’s nothing to do now but wait.

—--------------------------------

You fall asleep waiting, and wake up to a singular text from Beomgyu.

Gyu (9:59 AM): Are you coming to our homecoming show tonight?

Okay, so maybe he didn’t listen to your voicemail. That’s okay, right? You’ll just see him in person. And tell him your feelings. In person.

You (10:02 AM): Front row, wouldn’t miss it! :)

Your response seems nonchalant, but your stomach is churning and you feel like you might throw up. You decide that working from home might be the best plan for the day, and so you turn to spreadsheets, emails, and reading articles to distract you from what might be the end of your world as you know it.

Soon enough, 6:00 rolls around and you shut off your laptop as you finish off a quick dinner you had made for yourself as you finished up the day’s tasks. You decide to treat tonight as just a normal show you’re going to, throwing on a distressed band tee (Beomgyu’s band MOA, artfully bleached and torn by yours truly) with black jeans and stomper boots, accented with a red lip.

You grab your purse off the counter and quickly dash out the door to walk the few blocks to the dive bar MOA is playing, making sure to get there early so you can be front row like you promised.

Sure enough, you’re one of the first people there and it’s easy for you to choose a spot right in front of where you know Beomgyu will be playing for most of the show. Ten minutes after you arrive, he and the rest of the band walk out to tune their instruments. You give a quick wave to Yeonjun, the band’s lead vocalist, and he nudges Beomgyu, turning his attention to you. He quickly jogs across the stage, leans down and throws his legs over the edge and pulls you into a tight hug.

“Hey stranger, feels like ten years since I’ve seen you. I missed you,” he mumbles into your hair.

You pull back, attempting to fix your hair. Noticing his shaggy black hair’s gotten mussed as well, you push it off his face. Before you can draw your hand away, Beomgyu’s covered it with his own, squeezing it softly.

“You look good in my shirt.” His eyes sparkle mischievously as he motions to your band tee with his other hand, and you roll your eyes even as you can feel your cheeks color.

“Yeah, yeah…don’t you have to get ready for the show, rockstar?”

“I do,” he pouts, “but I’ll come find you later, okay?” You nod, and he stands back up and wanders over to his guitar, picking it up and making sure it’s in tune.

More and more people start to crowd around and behind you, and before you know it, the show has started. You’re scream singing the lyrics just as loudly as anyone else, cheering your heart out at the end of every song. Every so often, you catch smiles that Beomgyu is sending you, and it makes your heart feel like it’s leapt up into your throat. Even though it makes you nervous, you can’t help the smiles you send back in return.

Towards the end of the show, Beomgyu steps up to his mic, addressing the crowd.

“Hey everyone, thanks so much for coming out tonight! Our last song we’re going to play for you is an exclusive-we just workshopped this today, mostly because I just wrote it today. Let us know whether you like it!”

Cheers immediately erupt through the crowd, and simmer down once he starts strumming his guitar and steps up to the mic.

“I know that you like me

And it’s kinda frightenin’

Standing here, waitin’, waitin’

And I became hypnotized

By freckles and bright eyes

Tongue tied”

Beomgyu looks over at you and sends a cheeky wink your way. Wait a second, is he singing…about you?

“Cause you could be the one that I love

I could be the one that you dream of

Message in a bottle is all I can do

Standin' here, hopin' it gets to you

You could be the one that I keep, and I

Can be the reason you can't sleep at night

Message in a bottle is all I can do

Standin' here, hopin' it gets to you”

You feel rooted to the spot, staring at the boy in front of you as he sings, staring straight at you, no trace of embarrassment or shame on his face. You barely notice when Yeonjun takes over singing the next verse, your eyes following Beomgyu instead as he pulls his guitar strap over his head, placing the instrument onto its stand.

He walks in front of your spot in front of the stage, and sits down with his legs dangling over the edge, just as he had before the show. He reaches out toward you slowly, but with purpose, gently cupping the sides of your face. You barely register the screaming and whistling that’s happening around you as the other audience members witness the private moment between the two of you.

Beomgyu slowly slides his thumb across your cheek, his eyes glimmering with mischief and something you can’t quite place as he leans towards you.

“Is this okay?” he whispers, barely audible over the song.

You wrap your arms around his neck in response, pulling him to his feet off the stage, crashing your lips onto his. His lips are full and soft just like you remember, and that warm and tingly feeling from before is even stronger, prompting you to be the one who gently asks for entrance to his mouth with your tongue, which he eagerly grants. You’re not sure how long the two of you stand there, too wrapped up in each other to care what’s happening around you. Beomgyu finally pulls back for air, a huge smile on his face that he can’t get rid of. He leans his forehead against yours as he breathes heavily, and begins laughing. It feels contagious, and you’re so giddy you can’t help but join in.

“You are the one I dream of,” you breathe out between giggles.

“I’m glad…because you’re the one that I love. I love you too,” Beomgyu states simply, landing another kiss on your lips.

“I take it you got my voicemail?”

“Of course I did, and I saved it. Just figured I’d respond in person. With a song that I wrote for you…among the others I’ve written about you, this one just happens to be the only one that’s seen the light of day. And it’s a hit!” He gestures around you, where Yeonjun is finishing out the song and the crowd has erupted into raucous cheers.

“There’s…others?” Your eyes widen in surprise.

“Many others…I’ll play them for you if you’re lucky. I’m just glad you got my message in a bottle.”

—-------------------------------

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Namjoon: ...I didn't think it was possible to be as rude as you are being right now.

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