My Freaking HEARTthis Was So Sweet, I Loved It!

My freaking HEART…this was so sweet, I loved it!

unfair II ; yeonjun

genre: angst, fluff

word count: 3.8K

warnings: alcohol, mentions of driving too fast

song rec: shiver by lucy rose

read part one here !

i apologize for any (grammatical) errors or typos!

you fumbled with the make up brushes on the table as you put all the products back in your make up bags.

you closed your eyes for a second when you heard his laughter again. and hers.

opening your eyes, you averted them to the mirror, looking at the two through it.

the rookie idol was twirling a strand of hair in between her fingers as she giggled at something yeonjun said. her eyes were glowing as they looked at him.

you understood that. you, too, used to look at yeonjun like he hung the moon. your eyes used to glow like that as well when you would look at him when he’d hold you close. yeonjun was simply magnificent.

and that was why you could never blame the rookie idol for practically throwing herself at yeonjun, even though it made your heart feel like it was being pulled out of your chest when you would see yeonjun react to it by only standing closer to her.

it had been two weeks since your encounter with yeonjun before the show, two weeks since you officially ended whatever was going on between the two of you. though, it didn't feel right to call it 'whatever.' it was love. pure love. you both knew it.

you swallowed as your eyes rested on yeonjun. his cheeks were still a little red from performing, the glitter below his eyes faded a little but nonetheless were still making his eyes pop. his gelled hair was slightly tousled, but that was your favorite look on him because it indicated that he had danced his heart out, something you loved seeing. there was nothing as enchanting as watching yeonjun do things he was passionate about.

it only took a second of looking at yeonjun to make you feel like you were flying. flying through a lilac sky while feeling as light as a feather.

yeonjun felt your eyes on him through the mirror and couldn't stop himself from looking back. as your eyes met, you almost felt your breath hitch in your throat. yeonjun quickly looked away.

it only took a second of facing reality to make you crash down from that lilac sky and hit the ground.

you cleared your throat as you quickly continued cleaning the surface of the make up table.

a text on your phone made the screen light up and you looked at it.

anne: we are ready to go

putting your phone in your back pocket, you grabbed the make up bags and started walking towards the door, past yeonjun and the idol you still didn't even know the name of.

you felt the stare of yeonjun on you. turning around, you forced yourself to look at the man.

"we're ready to go home," you spoke, your voice monotone, before glancing at the girl's slightly annoyed face.

you wanted to let out a scoff. don't worry, girl, you have a much bigger chance of being with him than i do, was what went through your mind as you turned around and started walking through the halls towards the exit of the venue.

a few seconds later you heard footsteps behind you, indicating the boy was following you.

you were glad he didn't catch up to you and continued to walk behind you because being close to him was suffocating.

you stepped inside the van and hoped yeonjun would take the second van. well, the rational part of you, your brain, hoped that.

your heart didn't.

just as you were about to close the car door, yeonjun stopped you by gripping the door handle.

your breath got caught in your throat and you quickly looked away as he entered the vehicle.

he sat down next to you and the close proximity between you and him made you shut your eyes for a second before looking straight ahead, not wanting to make anne, another stylist who was sitting beside you, notice anything.

the van drove off and if you didn't know better you'd say yeonjun only pressed himself against you more.

his thighs touched yours and even if you would have wanted to, you wouldn't be able to move your legs as you didn't have any more space.

in any other situation you'd get annoyed when a man was taking up all the space by sitting like this, but right now it was making your heart ache. because you knew he was doing it on purpose. he was taking any opportunity he could to be close to you, any opportunity to touch you. even now.

why was he making it so terribly hard for you? for the both of you?

arriving at the dorms, the boys got out of the van and even though you refused to look back, you felt the way yeonjun looked back at you for the last time before exiting the van, taking a piece of your heart with him as always.

you expected to be able to breathe again the moment yeonjun wasn't sitting beside you anymore, but as the van started driving again and the space beside you was empty, breathing only seemed to get harder. and this made you realize once again that even though you wished it wasn't true, you needed yeonjun more than anything.

it had been a weak since you had last seen yeonjun. you thought that during this week off work, you could start getting over him. but unfortunately for you not seeing him during the day, didn't mean you wouldn’t still see him in your dreams. it was really only to be expected you would see him even when you were unconscious as he was on your mind every second you were conscious.

tonight you decided you needed to have some distraction and that was why you went out with your best friend. you danced, drank and overall had a good time. but as you sat in the cab on your way back to your apartment, things went downhill.

"i didn't know yeonjun was dating anyone," your friend murmured as she nudged you while still looking at her phone.

you felt your heart drop and her sudden words almost sobered you up. "what?"

she turned the phone screen to you and as your eyes scanned the news article, you felt your heart start beating in your throat. it wasn't until you scrolled down and saw the blurry and dark pictures of yeonjun with a girl, that you felt your insides sink.

you blinked a few times as you sat back in your seat. you didn't deserve to be shocked, you didn't deserve to be sad: yeonjun wasn't yours and he never was. and still, it felt like your heart was being ripped out of your body and crumbled right in front of you.

your best friend frowned as she noticed the way your face got drained of its color. "are you okay? what's wrong?"

you quickly shook your head. "nothing is wrong, i'm fine." looking out of the window you noticed the cab arrived at your apartment complex. "i'll see you later alright? text me when you're home.” you gave her a forced smile before paying the cab driver for both yourself and your best friend who would be getting of five minutes later as she lived a little further away.

when you got out of the vehicle and started walking to your apartment, the smile on your face slowly started fading as tears started clouding your vision.

this was exactly what you deserved for falling in love with yeonjun, for having allowed him to hold and kiss you, for making him fall in love for you as well.

you sat onto your sofa and scrolled through the article again, now on your own phone and more tears started staining your cheeks. was he really dating someone now? was everything he once felt for you, now officially gone? you needed to know. you needed to hear him say it. maybe hearing him say he found someone else, could be the first step for you to get over him.

you looked at yeonjun's name in your contacts. you knew you shouldn't do it. even in your current state you knew how wrong this was and how bad it could end. but still you couldn't stop your finger from pressing the call button, dialing his number.

the phone rang a few times, and when it rang a third time you realized it was best to hang up, before more damage could be done.

but just as you were about to remove the phone from your ear, the ringing stopped, making your heart do the same.

"y/n?"

his voice was hoarse and a little confused. you couldn't blame him, you were calling him at two in the morning.

"hey," your voice cracked, making you shut your eyes immediately as you pressed your palm against them.

"y/n, is everything okay?"

you shook your head. nothing was okay.

"yeah." your voice was barely above a whisper and by the muffled sounds on the other side you could tell yeonjun sat up straight.

"y/n, what's wrong? are you okay?"

of course he would be able to tell by your voice that something was up. you let out a small laugh, "yeah, why wouldn't i be?"

you looked at yourself in the mirror and you felt more laughter bubble up in your chest at your pathetic state. "because you're probably dating someone now and i finally lost you completely?" you laughed again, tears now starting to spill from your eyes.

"because i'm calling you at two in the morning and i feel like i'm literally dying without you?" the laughing turned into full on sobbing now as you couldn't stop yourself from breaking down anymore.

"i'm completely fine," you cried as you put your phone down on the table in front of you and you placed your elbows on your knees, burying your face in your hands. your phone automatically went on speaker.

"y/n, calm down, please, take deep breaths."

his voice only made you cry more bitter tears. you wanted to listen to him and try steadying your breath, but it was impossible. you couldn't calm down anymore. your heart was being crushed to the point it felt like your lungs were starting to get affected too.

"please, come over," you managed to let out in between your sobs.

"i'm already in my car," yeonjun replied, his voice stern but thick, filled with worry and pain.

you closed your eyes, feeling a light spark flash in your broken heart.

"i'm on my way, baby," yeonjun murmured.

getting from txt's dorms to your apartment would normally take about ten minutes by car. but it had only been five minutes when you heard a knock on your door, indicating that yeonjun had been speeding through the city to get to you.

you had called yeonjun in an impulse, but now as you walked to the door, you were slowly starting to realize that you really asked him to come to you, after everything you'd done to him. nerves rushed through you and your hand was shaking as you reached for the door handle.

but all your nerves disappeared the moment you opened the door because only a second later yeonjun's arms were wrapped around you in a tight embrace. you started crying again, but this time it wasn't completely out of despair. this time, a part of it was out of relief you were finally in yeonjun's arms again, your safest place. his familiar scent entered your nose and it made your anxious heart slowly start beating at a normal pace again. yeonjun's fingers tangled in your hair as he held your head against his chest, softly whispering sweet nothings in your ear. "i'm here, baby, don't cry anymore."

your arms tightened around his torso, your fingers gripping at the soft material of his gray hoodie. the same hoodie you wore when the two of you had been at the beach at one in the morning and it had started getting chilly. you remembered the way he had put his hoodie over your head before pulling you closer to him on the soft blanket in the sand. you had laid on his chest and talked with him about everything and anything until the sun had started rising.

the memories and the way yeonjun was stroking your hair right now made your tears slowly stop pouring and your breathing start getting steady again. you pulled back from his embrace and immediately missed the warmth of it as you looked up at yeonjun.

"you drank," yeonjun noticed as he looked in your exhausted eyes, "and you look exhausted.. you haven't been taking care of yourself, have you?"

you looked at him with a saddened expression, your eyes almost closing out of exhaustion. "i'm sorry for calli-"

he quickly shook his head. "don't say that."

he slowly raised his hand to wipe your tears away, but just before it could touch your cheek he hesitated. you closed your eyes, indicating that you were waiting for his touch, and you softly smiled when you finally felt it. his fingers stroked your cheek and pushed the fallen strands of hair behind your ear. "you need to sleep, y/n."

you nodded, letting yourself enjoy the feeling of his warm hand against your cheek for a little longer. "i don't want this moment to end," you whispered making yeonjun feel heavy with emotions.

"you're drunk, y/n. i don't know how much of this you will still dare to say when you're sober. i'm scared to hold onto the things you're saying now," yeonjun admitted quietly.

you slowly nodded as you stepped away, a small stumble in your steps. "that's fair."

yeonjun was quiet for a second as he let his eyes glide over you. "come on," he whispered as he took your hand. without thinking twice you grabbed his hand.

yeonjun closed the door behind him as he entered your familiar apartment. as his eyes fell on the sofa, he couldn't help but immediately remember the night he had kissed you there. the rest of his members had gone home to their families that day, but yeonjun's family were overseas during that time. so after a long day of practice, he didn't want to go to the dorms. he didn't want to be alone. so you invited him to eat dinner at your place. it was supposed to be completely friendly, but the two of you should have known that such a thing as "friendly" did not exist for two people in love. maybe the two of you did know, but just decided to play dumb. and that worked, until it didn't.

yeonjun quickly snapped out of his thoughts as he led you to your bedroom. you sat down on your bed, your eyes barely open as exhaustion was getting the best of you. yeonjun opened your closet and went to grab an oversized shirt for you but froze when he realized the white shirt laying on the shelf was his. the familiar ache he had felt the past days whenever he thought about you returned and he bit his lip, trying to hold back the tears pressing against his eyes before taking the shirt out and grabbing some shorts. he gave you the clothes and told you to change as he went to get make up wipes from your bathroom.

when yeonjun came back, you were dressed in the shorts but only had a top on, the shirt still in your hands.

"this is yours," you mumbled, your voice small. you held the shirt out to yeonjun. "i'm sorry for not giving it back sooner. it just smelled like you and i needed to have it with me for a little longer."

yeonjun felt something in his heart crack when he heard your words. "y/n, please stop. don't say these things when you're drunk," yeonjun whispered, hurt lacing his voice.

you didn't reply to this, but you deep down knew you weren't drunk enough to not realize what you were saying.

he grabbed the shirt from you before kneeling in front of you and putting the material over your head.

the sweet scent of the shirt engulfed you and you couldn't help but weakly smile. the smile stayed on your lips when yeonjun held your face as he gently cleaned the make up off your face with the wipes.

after he was done, you got under the covers and yeonjun got up from the floor. he walked to the door and his hand was hovering over the light switch as he looked at you.

"sleep well, y/n." the smile on his face was soft but it didn't reach his eyes as he looked at you.

because tomorrow he wouldn't be allowed to hold you close anymore. tomorrow he wouldn’t be allowed to whisper sweet nothings in your ear and wipe your tears anymore. he wouldn't be allowed to stroke your hair and hold your face as he cleans your make up anymore. tomorrow everything would be different again. and that was why tonight was a blessing and a curse for him.

yeonjun turned off the lights and just as he was about to leave your room, he heard your small voice coming from your bed.

"please don't leave, jun."

he stood still for a second. he should be leaving. he shouldn't be making things harder for the both of you. but you were asking him to stay. and he could never say no to you. so after a while, he nodded and gave you a weak smile. "okay."

rays of sunlight peeked through the small openings of your curtains and made you slowly open your eyes as a yawn left your lips. you rubbed your eyes and sat up straight before your eyes fell on the medication and the glass of water on your nightstand. you frowned, you didn’t put that there.

suddenly realization hit you as you remembered everything that happened yesterday night. you looked down at the familiar shirt you were wearing and you got your confirmation that yesterday night was in fact not a dream.

your eyes widened when you remembered you asked yeonjun not to leave. you jumped out of bed, almost tripping over your own feet as you made your way out of your bedroom and to the living room.

your heart slowly sank when silence and emptiness greeted you there. so he didn’t stay. you blinked a few times and you felt stupid for the way your eyes were starting to water.

all of a sudden you heard a sound coming from your kitchen and you frowned before making your way to the said area of your apartment.

your eyes widened when they fell on the person standing in front of the stove with their back facing you.

"jun," you whispered making the boy almost jump.

"i didn't know you were up already," he breathed when he turned around. you didn't even notice the smile that was growing on your face at the sight of yeonjun making breakfast.

he stayed. he kept his word.

"you stayed," you quietly spoke. "i told you i would, didn't i?" he replied with a small smile. you nodded. "you did."

it was quiet for a few seconds as the two of you just looked each other in the eyes.

"yeonjun, we need to talk." "y/n, we need to talk." the fact that the two of you said the same thing at the same time made you let out a nervous laugh and yeonjun looked down, biting his lower lip to hold back a smile.

after placing the freshly made breakfast on the table, the two of you sat down and quietly ate the food but not without throwing secret glances at each other and getting rosy cheeks.

when you were done, yeonjun decided to be the first one to speak up. "the articles were edited, y/n. they still caused so much heisa but i want to make clear to you that i am not dating anyone. i need you to know that," he spoke sternly while looking you into your eyes.

the moment the words left his mouth, it felt like a weight fell off your shoulders but at the same time another weight got added; he wasn’t dating anyone which meant moving on would be harder again.

“i don’t want to move on from you, y/n. and as selfish as it sounds, i’d rather die than have you move on from me,” yeonjun made known as if he could read your mind. your heart sped up.

standing up from your chair you shook your head as you started walking towards the window while picking at the skin around your nails. it was a habit of yours whenever you were nervous. “but yeonjun, how could we ever work? if someone would find out we’d both be in so much trouble, especially you. i-i can’t let you risk your caree-“

yeonjun also stood up and followed you. “y/n, you are not the one to decide that for me. even if someone were to find out, we would still figure it out. my career wouldn’t get affected, i promise.” you felt his presence behind you.

was he right? could the two of you figure it out and make this work?

warmth spread through your body when you felt his arms slowly sneak around your waist and pull you against his chest. you closed your eyes as you leaned back against him, letting your head rest against his collarbone. “i just want what’s best for you,” you whispered earnestly. he lowered his head before burying his face in the crook of your neck.

“you are what’s best for me. you know that,” he replied quietly, making your heart grow a size as goosebumps sprang up over your bare arms.

you turned around in his arms and your eyes locked with his. they were sad but you could also see the hope in them. you raised your arm and softly brushed some strands of hair out of his face, making the boy close his eyes as a safe feeling washed over him.

“please, give us a chance again,” he whispered as he let you stroke his cheek.

your lives and the people in it might not have agreed, but yeonjun and you were meant for each other and you weren’t going to deny that anymore. you weren’t going to lie to yourself and to him anymore. both of you deserved better than that. the love between you two deserved to exist, you were sure of that now.

so after a while you finally nodded, a soft smile growing on your face.

“okay.”

thank you all so much (especially the people tagged below who asked for a part two) for loving and supporting part one! you guys really motivated me to write a part two. i hope you enjoyed reading it <3

@madirecs @softie00 @pupupukyoong @hwxngjins @wonywish @strawbrinkofdeath @mulligrubsss @duyukneeewowutimeeen-anjodi8 @dreamlidia @yaintpaint

masterlist

This is also my problem…packing is the worst.

lmao he’s so relatable

THE WAY I AM UNSPEAKABLY EXCITED FOR THIS COLLAB!!

THE MONSTER BESIDE ME (a TXT halloween writing collab) !!

“… not all monsters look like monsters. There are some that carry their monstrosity inside.” ― Fredrik Backman

𖥨 welcome to “the monster beside me” a halloween and fantasy-themed collab hosted by me, @/decembermoonskz  (i wanna say a quick thank you to @petrichor-han for talking and brainstorming this idea with me! love you rain!)

theme !! from spoopy fluff to scary horror, let your mind run wild as you pick a supernatural AU and create a story that gets you in the spirit of the spooky season! >:)

𖥨 masterlist (coming soon)

:: rules & guidelines !!  ︶︶꒷꒦︶꒷︶︶︶꒦︶︶꒷︶︶꒦꒷

𝟎𝟏. this collab is open for tomorrow x together and slots are on a first-come first-serve basis! there will be one (1) slot per member, however if the collab shows a lot of interest i’d love to expand it to two (2) slots per member! :)

𝟎𝟐. your work must be a oneshot (no smau or series please) with a minimum word count of 1.5k words, there is no max word count (go crazy haha). worried about not making the minimum? no worries! we’re all here to help

𝟎𝟑. this is a sfw collab so please no smut/explicit sexual content. non-explicit suggestive content is allowed. only 16+ writers are allowed to write suggestive content!!

𝟎𝟒. only “member x reader” and “member x oc” pairings please.

with member x reader pairings, please try to make your reader is as inclusive as possible! avoid specifying features/actions that may not apply to everyone, if you need help with that don’t worry, we can talk about it more in the discord server. gn!reader, fem!reader, masc!reader, are all accepted!!

𝟎𝟓. because this is a collab that has potential horror and scary themes (along with other graphic content: blood violence, g*re, etc.) please label ALL warnings at the start of your piece.

additionally, pairing(s), genre(s), warning(s), summary/synopsis, & word count must be at the start of your work. please place a read more after 500 words.

𝟎𝟔. this goes without saying, but plagiarism is not allowed whatsoever. you must credit any form of media you may use as inspiration for your fic. please put that credit for inspiration at the start of your fic. if it comes to my attention that any writer has plagiarized in the past/is plagiarizing, they will be removed from the event.

if you have any questions on how i want you to credit things, please don’t hesitate to message me (preferably through the discord server).

𝟎𝟕. you must be 15 years of age to apply for this collab!

please do not lie about your age and please if you are 14 but want to apply to this collab, please wait until you are 15 before actually applying.

𝟎𝟖. when you post your fic, please tag me (@/decembermoonskz) somewhere at the start (desc, a/n, etc.) and tag it with #collab:themonsterbesideme 

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Izzy, this was so SWEET, my HEART. We don’t deserve Taehyun 🥹🥹🥹

THE BEST DAY ; KANG TAEHYUN · 1.3k words

summary ▸ kang taehyun is your best friend, and you wouldn’t trade him for anything in the world, and he feels the same way about you. pairing ▸ kang taehyun x gn!reader genre ▸ best friends!au; pure fluff and nothing else other characters ▸ mentions of the other txt members warnings ▸ food mentions, mentions of stress, some light ghibli movie spoilers song rec ▸ best friend : nct dream, thursday’s child has far to go : txt a/n ▸ this is belated but this fic is dedicated to @speckled-sunshine​​ !! happy birthday and you’re one of the bestest friends in the whole world, ty for being my friend. it’s fitting that the first txt fic i post would be for you, ty for helping get me to fall for these five amazing guys and now we scream and keyboard smash about them all the time. ily lots! <33 i’ve never written taehyun, but i hope i was able to capture him well hehe!! this was very fun to write, it’s been just a tad since i wrote fluff and nothing else haha (also credit to acj_edits on yt for the taehyun clip in the gif. it was too cute)

☕— like my writing and wanna support me? consider buying me a coffee on ko-fi (link in navi) do let me know what you thought of this story by sending me an ask here!! :3

You were currently walking off campus to head home after a long day when you felt the presence behind before you saw it.

“_____!” you heard as your best friend Kang Taehyun bolted past you to come around and stand in front of you. A big smile on his face that was insanely infectious. 

“Well, hello speedy feet,” you teased, “what’s got you so excited?” 

“You’re kidding right?” he asked incredulously; brows furrowed. 

You hadn’t answered him and his eyes widened in exaggerated shock. “_____! It’s your birthday tomorrow!” 

Oh. Right, you hadn’t even thought about it. You didn’t hate your birthday or anything, but with summer classes, and all the cramming you’ve been doing, it slipped your mind by accident. 

“Oh,” you said. 

“What do you mean ‘oh’?” Taehyun gawked, and you two started walking together. “It’s one of the best days of the year and you’re telling me you forgot?” 

Keep reading

BLUE HAIR JUNNIE IS BACK!!!

Regency Gyu got to 100 notes! Thanks for reading, friends! ☺️

This Love

Pairing: Beomgyu x reader with a tiny bit of Taehyun x reader

Genre: Fluff, a little angst, Regency!AU

Tropes: Childhood friends to enemies to lovers, miscommunication, slight love triangle

Word Count: 8.6k

Warnings: SFW, mentions of blood

Synopsis: Once upon a time, you were in love with Choi Beomgyu...but that was before you grew up, he left, he changed, and now you want nothing to do with him. So why is it that you can't seem to escape him, even when another man is courting you?

Author's Note: This is a part of A Season of Refreshments and Courtship collab! Other fics will be posted throughout the month, so be sure to check those out. This story was heavily inspired by This Love by Taylor Swift...obsessed!

“You truly don’t know how horrid you are, do you?” Your eyes narrow as you tilt your head upwards, looking at the man across from you directly in the eyes.

His eyes sparkle playfully as he steps closer, hand outstretched to take your own in his palm.

“Please, enlighten me…nothing would make my heart more glad than for you to regale me with your opinions on my upstanding character.”

You let out a huff in response, gripping his hand tighter than necessary as you take light steps around his lanky figure.

“Firstly, you cannot hardly go more than a moment without mentioning your skill at fencing-an admirable skill in a normal person, but must you drone on and on at length? Secondly, you refuse to take your role as your father’s heir seriously.” At this, the gentleman across from you opens his mouth to refute your claim, but you barrel on. 

“Most importantly, you are a rake…don’t think I haven’t heard about your exploits via Yeonjun,” you hiss, glancing over your shoulder at your older brother before bringing your gaze back to the man you’re dancing with.

“Ah yes, yours truly, the most devious rake of the ton. That must be why your mother invited me to the opera with your family tomorrow night?” A smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth as he sees you try to hide your look of dismay. “Something about trying to get you married off soon…seems I’m one of the most eligible bachelors of the season. A far cry from a rake, I’d say.”

Marrying Choi Beomgyu…what on earth was your mother thinking? Did she want you to be miserable for all of your days?

—---------------------------------------

“Is it true? Mother wants to marry me off?” You’ve cornered Yeonjun the next morning after breakfast.

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, avoiding eye contact.

“Surely you can’t be that surprised? You are of a marriageable age, sister.”

“Yes…but isn’t your engagement enough to be getting on with? Why worry about me?” You pace across the room, and Yeonjun brings his gaze up to follow your movements. 

“She’s occupied somewhat with my engagement, but you know better than anyone that she wants to make sure you’re taken care of. It’s different for a woman, you know that. I’m expected to be the head of the household now…she just wants to make sure you have someone that can provide for you.”

“...I can provide for myself,” you seethe, collecting the plates and silverware from breakfast and bringing them to the sink.

Yeonjun sighs. “I know you can, but I also know that Mother won’t rest until she finds a suitable match for you.”

“A suitable match being Choi Beomgyu?” You glare at your brother, daring him to affirm your statement. 

“W-what?!” He splutters incredulously as you let out a small laugh at his expression.

“According to Beomgyu himself, he’s been invited to attend the opera with us tonight. Because Mother thinks he may be a good match for me.” You roll your eyes in a most unladylike fashion, but at this juncture, who is around to care?

“Just because the two of you used to be childhood friends doesn’t mean you’d be a good match now. I suppose I did catch the two of you kissing in the garden once when you were thirteen though…” Yeonjun raises an eyebrow at you while letting out a laugh.

“We were CHILDREN, I didn’t know any better. I didn’t think he’d turn out so…so…immature and ridiculous!”

“He is rich, though. And handsome.” 

It’s your turn to raise an eyebrow.

“What? I’m just stating facts. The rich part is probably what Mother’s interested in though. That and the fact that our families have been friends for goodness knows how long. If you don’t want to marry him, you’d better find someone else suitable to go in his place…and fast.”

—-------------------------------------- 

Turns out that ‘someone’ Yeonjun mentioned wasn’t so hard to find.

“I’d like for all of you to meet Kang Taehyun, one of my best friends from our boarding school days…he’s fresh from his Grand Tour of the continent!” Beomgyu waves his arm with a flourish, stepping to the side to reveal a handsome blond gentleman with sharp features and wide eyes standing behind him.

“The pleasure is all mine, I can assure you.” Taehyun lowers his head in a bow to the group, which consists of your parents, Yeonjun, his fiancee Eliza, and yourself. His gaze lingers on you a beat longer than the others, which doesn’t go unnoticed by either you or your mother. As you take your seats, Taehyun makes it a point to sit to your right, and Beomgyu sits on your left. 

You sit in silence through act one of the opera, entranced by the talent of the performers on stage. As though a cue was given to the both of them, the two men to either side of you lean towards you.

“It’s rather boring, don’t you think?” Beomgyu whispers rather loudly while sending you a smirk.

“They’re so talented, don’t you think?” is Taehyun’s counter, smiling gently at you with sparkling eyes.

You smooth your skirts as you adjust in your chair to be facing more towards Taehyun, ignoring Beomgyu’s comment completely, which causes him to immediately begin sulking in his seat.

As you chat with the newcomer throughout the remainder of the performance, you discover that Taehyun just arrived from Rome, where he had been studying art.

“I’ve returned with so many paintings, I simply couldn’t bear to only have a few. I’d love to show you them, if your ladyship would be interested, of course.”

You can’t help the grin that makes its way across your face at his request.

“I would be delighted, Taehyun. In return, I can show you some of my work-I write in my spare time, and I hope to become a published author one day.” 

At this admission, Taehyun’s eyes grow wide and he eagerly nods in interest.

“Surely you can’t be serious?” Beomgyu scoffs from behind you. You turn to look at him, and confusion clouds Taehyun’s face.

“Surely I can’t be serious about what?” you counter, daring him to make a scene in public.

“You’ve just met the man, and you’re offering to show him your writing because he wants to show off the paintings he bought while he was in Italy? Doesn’t seem quite a fair trade-off to me.” 

“Just because you lost interest in my writings years ago, doesn’t mean no one else wants to read them, Beomgyu. Some of us want to actually make something of ourselves, and have an impact on the world. Don’t you think there must be more to life than gambling, fencing, and breaking women’s hearts?”

Hurt races across Beomgyu’s face for two seconds before he schools his face back into neutrality. Before he has the chance to reply, you’ve turned back towards Taehyun.

“Now, what were we discussing?”

The gentleman in front of you shakes his head, taken aback by the exchange he had just witnessed. “Just…just your writings. I must say, Miss Y/L/N, that was rather forward of you just now with Beomgyu. Are you always this forthcoming with your opinions?”

You raise an eyebrow, unsure of whether you’re being judged or not.

“Yes, I tend to speak my mind more often than not. Why do you ask?”

Taehyun reaches for your gloved hand, bringing it to his lips and looking up at you.

“Women with wit tend to make life more interesting, that’s all.” 

—----------------------------------------

The next morning, you awake to your mother opening the curtains in your room, sunlight streaming onto your face.

“Get up, you have to get ready!”

“For what?” you grumble, pulling the covers towards your head to block out the light. This does nothing to deter your mother, who simply pulls the covers completely off the bed, leaving you no choice but to get up.

“Morning calls, of course! You’ve already received flowers from Beomgyu today, which is very kind of him.” Your mom smiles warmly, which you can’t help but roll your eyes at.

“Y/N, don’t be so unbearable! Beomgyu has been nothing but nice to you for years, and you used to be such good friends when you were small…what happened? His mother and I always imagined the two of you would be betrothed!”

“Don’t remind me,” you groan, your mother’s smile faltering as she goes to leave. She is quick to replace it with a smug look as she turns back to you in the doorway. 

“You’ve also received a lovely bouquet from Mr. Kang, if that’s of any interest. You’ll need to be ready to receive both of them in the foyer in an hour, so make haste.” And with that, she’s gone.

—--------------------------------

An hour later, you’re nervously scuffing your foot against the floorboards awaiting the arrival of your two potential suitors…the thought alone makes you want to turn and run far, far away.

Choi Beomgyu, your childhood best friend. A long time ago, you would have jumped at the chance to marry him. He made you laugh, he was sweet, and he believed in all of your dreams, no matter how lofty they were. He was quick to see the best in situations, treated your family well, and yes…he was handsome, and had frustratingly only gotten more so as he’d grown older. 

But that was before everything changed. He’d gone away to boarding school at fourteen, the only communication between the two of you letters. The letters eventually stopped after a couple of years. You supposed you’d just grown apart, a natural side effect of growing up…but then you heard the rumors about his gambling. Womanizing. When he returned, any interactions with you seemed like he was only trying to get under your skin for the fun of it. He wasn’t the Beomgyu you had been enamored by as a young girl, and it both angered you and made you feel like there was a small hole in your heart. It was unfair-you had remained the same, and he’d become a worse version of himself.

On the other hand, there was Kang Taehyun. Though wary of the fact that he was friends with Beomgyu, you could tell from your interactions at the opera that they were not the same type of person. Taehyun shared a lot of your interests, wasn’t threatened by the fact that you had ambition or opinions, and seemed to even enjoy the fact that you were more than willing to put Beomgyu in his place when needed. He too was handsome, though in a different way than Beomgyu was. You were somewhat surprised that he had made his intentions clear this early on-was he someone that you could see yourself marrying? You had just about given up on the idea of a love match, believing that a marriage of convenience was the best you could hope for. And as far as convenience went, Taehyun didn’t seem too bad of an option…he couldn’t be any worse than Beomgyu, after all.

Your thoughts were interrupted by a loud knock at the door, and the entrance of both men in question. No sooner than the obligatory pleasantries had passed, Beomgyu was stepping forward, asking you to take a walk through the garden. 

“Actually, I would rather-” Your sentence is cut off by a quick nudge of your mother’s elbow to your ribs, as she gives you a look.

“I’d love to,” you manage to spit out without looking completely disgusted, threading your arm through his when he offers it.

As you walk into the bright sunlight, there is silence for a few moments until Beomgyu breaks it, speaking slightly too loud at first and then adjusting his tone.

“Lovely weather we’re having.”

“Yes, I suppose it is rather pleasant. Company withstanding, of course.”

“I cannot be that bad, Y/N. I’ve had many glowing reviews from other ladies who have spent afternoons in my company.” Beomgyu grins at you, and you remain stone faced. “What?”

“Why, pray tell, do you think I want to hear about all the time you have spent with other eligible women? Isn’t that the last subject you should be broaching with someone you seem hellbent on marrying whether she is interested or not?” Your voice is getting louder with each sentence, face flushing due to both your emotions and the heat of the day.

“I was only jesting, I didn’t mean-” Beomgyu starts, eyes wide with shock.

“You never do mean much, do you? It’s rather bigheaded of you to think you can just come waltzing back into my life without so much a care in the world, assuming you’ll be able to swoop in and marry me!” You’re surprised to find tears swimming in your eyes, which you quickly brush away.

Beomgyu steps forward tentatively, reaching towards your hand, but you snatch it back out of his reach. He falters, rubbing the back of his neck and not quite able to look you in the eyes.

“Once upon a time, you said you wanted to marry me…”

“Yes, Beomgyu, when we were kids and I didn’t know any better. Before I knew what I wanted.”

He looks up, brown eyes searching yours, like he might find a secret you’ve been keeping all these years. “And what’s that?”

Just then, Taehyun strides up the path, calling out to you. You wipe the last tear away from your face, and school your features into a smile before you turn away from Beomgyu.

“Taehyun! How nice to see you again.”

—--------------------------------------

Like your walk with Beomgyu, your walk with Taehyun through the garden starts in silence, the two of you admiring the bright blooms that adorn each side of the path.

Taehyun eventually clears his throat and turns to you, bright eyed but seeming slightly timid.

“Miss Y/L/N…forgive me if this is too personal a question, but are you alright? It seemed like your conversation with Mr. Choi was getting rather heated, and I never like to see a lady upset.”

You let out a small sigh and gaze into Taehyun’s eyes, trying to decide whether to be honest. His earnestness sways you-you may be marrying him after all, so what’s the harm in telling the truth?

“I am…alright. It’s just, Beomgyu and I have a lot of history, we’ve known each other since we were children. He knows all the ways to get under my skin, and chooses to use that to torment me endlessly…yet now he believes that he should have the privilege of being my betrothed, when none of his actions or words seem to line up if that’s the goal he has in mind.”

Taehyun is quiet as he ponders over what you’ve said, guiding you towards the center of the garden.

“He talks about you a lot, you know.”

You glance up, eyes wide in surprise and Taehyun chuckles.

“It’s true. When I first met Beomgyu at boarding school, he had a hard time making friends. And the friends he did make, he was always talking about you. Days when he’d receive letters from you, you couldn’t dampen his mood no matter how hard you tried. He cares for you a great deal even now, even if he’s too bullheaded to show it properly.”

Taehyun pauses now and faces toward you. “The question is, how do you feel about him?” 

It’s only then that you notice where the two of you have stopped-the dead center of the garden, in front of the willow tree where Yeonjun had caught Beomgyu kissing you on the cheek all those years ago. You had been beyond embarrassed that your older brother had caught the two of you, but Beomgyu had only beamed while flushing a deep scarlet. “Are you planning on marrying my sister, hmm?” Yeonjun had laughed. You had run away before you could be embarrassed any further.

You’re shaken back to the present by Taehyun repeating his question to you.

“When I was a foolish little girl, I entertained the notion of marrying Beomgyu when I was older. He changed when he went away to boarding school, and that is that. I am much more interested in pursuing other avenues to marriage…namely you, if you will have me, that is.” 

You have the sense to at least look away from Taehyun as you say this, knowing it was potentially crossing the line, even for you who was used to saying whatever came to mind. 

Taehyun’s laughter rings out across the garden, and when you look up, his eyes are sparkling with mirth. “Well, when you put it that way, how could I refuse? You surely do know how to keep a man on his toes. Shall I declare my intentions then?”

A light flush dusts your cheeks, pleased that he is interested in marriage and at the fact that this will free you from Beomgyu’s efforts once and for all.

“I will have my mother arrange a picnic, and we shall be the talk of the ton.”

—------------------------------------------

Your mother is only too eager to prepare an extravagant picnic once you tell her about Taehyun’s intentions to declare an engagement.

“I knew you two would be a good match! He’s so kind, and he comes from a good family. You’ll be well taken care of!” 

You can’t help but roll your eyes good-naturedly, but her excitement is contagious and you find yourself looking forward to the picnic…and dare you say it, your impending engagement. Taehyun is pleasant company, and maybe, just maybe-eventually you may grow to love him. That thought alone causes faint butterflies to erupt in your stomach.

The day of the picnic arrives, sunny and warm. You put on a brand new dress your mother had gifted you, a soft lavender, and once you step outside, you see that company has already started to arrive. 

There are multiple tents set up with food and drink, croquet is set out on the lawn, and people are milling about chatting with each other. Movement in your periphery draws your attention, and as you turn, you see Beomgyu approaching you. You give a polite curtsy as he inclines his head toward you. 

“You look…” He seems at a loss for words.

“...yes?”

“You look beautiful.” There is no trace of humor in his voice, and his eyes glow with warmth as he holds eye contact a beat more than is proper.

“She always does, doesn’t she?” Taehyun appears on your other side, offering you his arm which you gladly take. “Catch up with you later?” He offers to Beomgyu, leading you away to make the obligatory social rounds as one of the hostesses of the event.

—-------------------------------

The picnic is a rousing success-that is, until there’s a commotion over at one of the tents. You head that way, curious what is causing such a disturbance. You maneuver through the gathered crowd, only to see Beomgyu and Taehyun at the center.

“A fencing match, for old time’s sake?” 

Of course Beomgyu is trying to cause chaos in the middle of what is supposed to be your engagement announcement…because why not?

“If you’re willing to be embarrassed and lose in front of everyone, absolutely.”

Your head whips around to look at Taehyun, surprised to see him take the bait. He’s smiling coolly, confident in his abilities. Meanwhile Beomgyu has a wild glint to his eyes-you know he’s competitive, but there’s something else there you can’t quite place.

The two men march away from the tent to an open space, and Yeonjun appears with two fencing sabres seemingly out of nowhere. Taehyun and Beomgyu each remove their jackets and take up the proper stance.

“En garde!” Beomgyu shouts, and the impromptu match begins. It goes on for longer than you think, and surprisingly all the bragging Beomgyu had done about his fencing skills weren’t just for show. He’s keeping up with Taehyun, and occasionally getting a few jabs in.

Your mother gives a loud and obvious ‘tsk’, and as you turn to look at her, Beomgyu’s voice rings out across the yard, almost a growl and deeper than his normal baritone.

Your gaze flies to the source of the sound, and you can see Beomgyu clutching at his shoulder, a bright red blooming under the stark white of his shirt.

Taehyun steps forward, forehead scrunched in concern, reaching out to examine the wound, but before he can reach the man in front of him, you’ve beaten him to it.

You don’t recall how you got from the tent you’d been standing under to Beomgyu, and you don’t particularly care. Up close, you can tell that he’s lost a decent amount of blood, and as you look up your eyes lock. He’s clearly shocked that you’re standing in front of him, his breath tickling the stray hairs that have fallen across your forehead in the heat of the day.

“Miss Y/L/N…” he murmurs. “I’ll be fine, I just need to wash up.”

Without saying a word, you grab his hand not attached to his wounded shoulder, leading him up to the house while the crowd watches on, flabbergasted. As the two of you move away, whispers start flying. 

You pay them no mind, marching Beomgyu through the front door and into the bathroom. You force him to sit, rolling up his sleeve just past his elbow. Though the shirt is loose-fitting, you can’t get it to roll up any further. 

“I’m…just…trying…to see!” you exclaim, watching the sleeve get caught on Beomgyu’s bicep yet again.

“Here, let me.” He gently pushes your hand out of the way, and using his uninjured arm, balls up the fabric and pulls harshly…so harshly, there’s a loud ripping noise as his left sleeve completely detaches from his shirt. 

You’re left gaping at his exposed arm for two reasons. One, the open wound on his shoulder is bleeding more freely now that there is no barrier stopping it. Two, even beneath all the blood that’s started to cake, you can see defined muscles that were most certainly not there before Beomgyu went off to boarding school.

“Are you okay?” Beomgyu’s voice startles you back to the present, where you swiftly take a cloth, soak it with lukewarm water, and begin to gently clean on and around his wound. He grimaces as you have to use more pressure closer to the cut.

“At least it’s relatively surface level, at least from what I can see. You should be okay if you don’t use a wide range of motion, I think.” You stand back, admiring your handiwork after wrapping the wound in clean strips of cloth.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, and as you glance up, he meets your gaze with an intense stare. 

“Is there something wrong? Is it too tight? I can rewrap it-”

“What do you see in him?”

You’re left agog at Beomgyu’s sudden question. “W-what?”

“What do you see in him?” He repeats, softer and almost shyly.

“Who?” You quirk an eyebrow, wondering if he’s really inquiring into your love life after his arm has been sliced open.

“Taehyun.”

He is.

“He’s kind, and from a good family. He’s intelligent, and doesn’t think that I’m silly for wanting to write stories for a living. Taehyun likes that I have opinions, it’s…refreshing.”

Beomgyu’s eyes narrow slightly as it seems he is considering your words. Silence fills the small space, and as it continues, it feels like you’re starting to suffocate. 

Just when you think you can’t take it any longer, his response shatters the tension, but replaces it with something else.

“I’ve always loved your stories. And hearing your opinions.” Your eyes go wide. “Our families have been friends for years. I’m smart enough.” As he continues, Beomgyu stands and moves closer to you. “I’m not always the kindest person, but I would never mistreat you.”

You’re inches apart now, but you won’t stand for Beomgyu and whatever he’s trying to pull to ruin your potential engagement to Taehyun. Not even if your heart feels like it’s beating so hard it might fall out of your chest. You glare up at the man in front of you.

“Beomgyu, are you jealous?”

He raises his hand to your shoulder, tracing along the lavender lace that sits on the seam of your dress. Just as you move to swat his hand away, he speaks and you’re left stunned.

“Does Taehyun know that I left a permanent mark on you?” He slides the fabric an inch or two, leaving your collarbone exposed. Beomgyu then moves his fingers to gently ghost over an almost invisible scar that starts at your shoulder, his touch causing both the sensation of butterflies and a deep longing to fling yourself at him as he stops just as the scar dips towards your decolletage. 

Heat burns its way through your body, landing on your cheeks. Beomgyu had given you that scar when you were children, a fencing match with sticks gone awry.

“He doesn’t,” you breathe, unable to form any other words as his hand lifts your chin, forcing you to make eye contact.

“If you’ll have me, he never will.” Beomgyu’s baritone wraps around you and it's as if you can feel his words seeping into your very bones.

Just then, the door flies open and there stands Taehyun.

“I just wanted to check on…oh.” His wide eyes take in the scene before him. Your dress pushed off your shoulder, Beomgyu’s hand under your chin, and your proximity to each other.

“Taehyun, it’s not what it looks like, I can explain!” You hastily push Beomgyu’s hand away, slipping your dress back fully onto your shoulder and moving towards the man in the doorframe.

“I’ll just see myself out.” He simply backs away through the door, closing it behind him like he was never there. Strangely, he didn’t seem angry. There was an odd look in his eyes that you couldn’t quite place, though.

“Beomgyu, I’m sorry, I have to go, I have to talk to him, I’m sorry!” You fling the door open yourself, following quickly after the man you were supposed to marry. 

Beomgyu is left behind, ripped shirt, pink cheeks, and looking for all the world like his heart’s been shattered into a million pieces.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------

“Taehyun…Taehyun!” You’re out of breath, losing steam as you pick up your skirts to run after the man who had just left.

How had he managed to get so far in such a short amount of time?

You exit the house, round the corner to the gardens, and run headlong into something hard and solid, almost losing your balance.

Before you can fall to the ground, a pair of strong arms steadies you and you look up into the startled eyes of Taehyun himself.

“Miss…are you alright?” His wide eyes scan you for any sign of injury.

“I’m fine, thank you. I just needed to explain, what you saw back there isn’t what you think it is, I-”

Taehyun holds out an arm to you calmly. “Let’s take a walk, shall we?”

Bewildered, you take his arm, not sure what’s happening. He guides you into the garden, just as he had the day after you met. After a few moments of silence, you attempt to speak again.

“Taehyun, it’s not what you think.”

“And what exactly do you think that I think it is?” He raises an eyebrow at you, a hint of a smirk playing across his face.

“It’s just, well…I’m sure you must think that I am sneaking around behind your back with Choi Beomgyu. I’m not, I swear on it! I was just trying to help with his injury, and then he was just too close and, and…we are not together, I would never risk my honor in that way! I am still very much interested in you as a potential match.” Your arms are flailing around as you explain, cheeks burning in humiliation.

Taehyun gently reaches for your arms, bringing them down to your sides. He looks down at you, warmth and kindness emanating from his gaze.

“I do not think you are two-timing me, Miss Y/N. And though I am interested in you as a potential match as well, I am afraid I no longer think it would be best for me to follow through on my proposal to you.”

Your eyes widen in horror as the two of you come to a stop, again in front of the willow tree from your youth.

“Taehyun, I’m sorry! I-I,” you stammer, tears welling up in your eyes. You can’t believe this is happening-in one moment, any hopes for your future have been swept away. All because you let your guard down in front of your childhood best friend.

“Let me explain,” Taehyun murmurs, swiping away an errant tear that has fought its way down your cheek. “It has been beyond apparent to me that my old schoolmate is still deeply enamored with you, and has been since we were young. Time has done little to nothing to change that. Upon meeting you, I came to realize what he saw in you-you’re brilliant, driven, and won’t take no for an answer. Of course, you are also stunningly beautiful. I felt so incredibly lucky that you were interested in me rather than Beomgyu. However, as time has progressed, I got an inkling that there may have been some unresolved feelings on your end as well. You said there were not, and I believed you.”

“But I don’t-” you start to protest, Taehyun moving his finger in front of your lips.

“What I just saw proves my original inclination to be right…you do have feelings for Choi Beomgyu, whether you realize it or not. You may be deep in denial to yourself, Miss Y/N, but I know that the way you were looking at him was not the way you look at someone you detest. As much as it pains me to do so, I fear I must back out of this competition…I refuse to be the reason that the two of you cannot be together.”

By this point, tears are fully streaming down your face. You want to refute what Taehyun is saying, tell him he’s wrong…the problem is, you’re not sure he is.

“This is where I must take my leave. I wish you and Beomgyu all the best, and I hope that you are able to at the very least reconcile your differences, if nothing more.”

Taehyun gives a short bow, striding stiffly toward the front gate. As he moves out of sight, there’s a rustling movement behind you. You tense up, afraid that you’ve made too much noise, drawing guests from the picnic towards the gardens. You let out a sigh of relief as you realize it’s just Eliza, Yeonjun’s fiance. 

“Y/N, you look awful! Are you okay?” 

As she draws closer, tears start rolling down your cheeks again.

“What? What is it? What happened?” She’s swimming in front of you, your vision blurred as she envelops you in a hug.

“B-Beomgyu did.” His name alone makes you break down into full on sobs, muffled into Eliza’s shoulder.

—----------------------------------------------------

As you wipe your tears away, Eliza leads you over to a bench to sit down.

“Now, tell me what happened.” 

You steady yourself with a deep breath before launching into what feels like your entire life story. All the way back to childhood, long summer days spent running around the grounds with Beomgyu-fencing with sticks, climbing trees, and spying on your older brother, which makes Eliza giggle.

Boarding school, and writing letters back and forth to each other until suddenly you weren’t. Rumors of womanizing and gambling. How you had retreated into yourself, feeling utterly betrayed by your best friend. You’d begun to seriously focus on writing when all the while your mother had wanted you to focus on finding a proper marriage match.

Which leads you all the way up until now, Beomgyu being back. Assuming he could be one of your suitors. Taehyun. What had transpired in the bathroom, and your conversation with Taehyun.

“In conclusion, I have no marriage options, mother is going to be angry at me until the day I die, and Beomgyu is still beyond frustrating to me,” you huff, blowing loose hairs out of your eyes.

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your mother has arranged a ball for this upcoming weekend in celebration of you and Taehyun’s impending proposal. Once Beomgyu got injured today, she figured it would be best to reschedule an event for that purpose.” 

You groan.

“Regardless, she’ll find out one way or another that the proposal isn’t going to happen. My question for you is-this business about Beomgyu’s injury and your conversation with Taehyun…is it true?”

You begin to pick at your fingernails as you think about Eliza’s question, eventually looking at her. “Does Beomgyu have feelings for me? I think he may have when we were younger, but as of right now, I have no-”

“That’s not what I’m asking, it’s plain as day that man has feelings for you, and I’ve barely interacted with him. What I’m asking is, how do you feel about him?” Eliza raises an eyebrow expectantly as your mouth drops open in surprise. “Close your mouth, you’ll attract flies.”

You let out a strangled laugh, and instead of answering her question, you reply with another.

“How did you know you loved Yeonjun?”

Eliza takes the question in stride, pondering for a few moments before she answers.

“I knew I loved your brother when the idea of being in a relationship with any other man held no interest for me. Yeonjun made it very clear from the beginning that he was only interested in me…he was always sending flowers and small trinkets, asking to accompany me on outings, writing letters that were surprisingly heartfelt for how I know him to be now.” You giggle, imagining your older brother being sentimental. “It took me longer to sort out my feelings, his attention was honestly overwhelming at times. But when I laid in bed at night, I would always think about when I would see him again before I fell asleep. That’s when I knew I loved Yeonjun…and I cannot be more pleased to be marrying him.” Her cheeks turn pink as she finishes.

“Does he ever make you mad?” you counter. 

“Of course! Every man can be frustrating, and every person for that matter. No one can agree with everyone all the time. But even when he angers me, I always want to make things right. I couldn’t stand it if we were at odds for too long.”

Eliza tilts her head curiously at you. “Why are you asking me all this?”

You think back to everything you’ve told her. Childhood crushes, teenage heartbreak. All the time spent, secrets shared. The injury running across your collarbone. Letters, so many letters…all of which had been shoved under your floorboard for safekeeping. Though you hadn’t looked at them in ages, you couldn’t quite bring yourself to throw them out either. Taehyun’s words echo through your mind…

“I know that the way you were looking at him was not the way you look at someone you detest.”

You look at Eliza, a rueful smile on your face.

“My feelings for Beomgyu are…complicated. I wish it was like the way you are with my brother, but he infuriates me to no end sometimes. If he cares for me, he needs to tell me so, otherwise we will be stuck in this endless loop of confusion and heartache for all eternity.”

And with that, you march back towards the house, leaving Eliza bewildered in your wake.

—------------------------------------------------------------

Eliza’s words prove true-your mother has busied herself with preparations for a ball, to be thrown in your honor. Every time you see her making plans, putting decorations up, anything, you know you should talk to her and tell her that you no longer have any marriage prospects, that you’ve made a mess of everything.

You come close one day, as she sweeps past you, gobs of flowy fabric in her hands. You call out to her, but as she turns to face you, she seems so happy that you swallow your words before they can even leave your mouth.

And that leads you to now…the night of the ball. Your stomach is roiling, and you almost feel lightheaded as you make your way towards the throng of people milling about. They’re here for you, for Taehyun. Your eyes dart around for the man in question, finding him chatting across the room with Yeonjun. You see your brother nod in your direction, and Taehyun turns, making eye contact with you. You both freeze for a moment. He then gives you a curt nod, and goes back to his conversation. Yeonjun raises an eyebrow to you in question, but you give a slight shake of your head in return.

“Penny for your thoughts?” A deep baritone whispers in your ear, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

You turn, and it feels as if your breathing has been even more constricted than it already was by your undergarments. You’re met with Beomgyu’s brown eyes staring into your own, and as you skitter backwards in shock, his arms come up to hold you steady. 

“Are you alright? I apologize if I startled you.”

Your breath still seems to be caught in your throat, but you manage to nod meekly in response.

“Here, let me get you a drink.”

Beomgyu walks a few paces with you, grabbing a glass off a passing tray and handing it gently to you. You take a sip, the crisp bubbles seeming to open your throat again.

“How’s your arm?” you ask, eyes wide with concern. He shouldn’t be here at a ball when he’s injured, you think to yourself.

“Almost good as new, thanks to you…I had a doctor examine it as well, just in case, and he said he couldn’t have done a better job patching it up himself.” Beomgyu grins at you, twisting his arm at odd angles just to show you he can.

You smile in return, but he notices that it doesn’t quite meet your eyes.

“Is there something bothering you, darling?” 

Your heart skips a beat at his term of endearment, and your stomach goes queasy at the idea of telling him about everything that’s happened with Taehyun. You start wringing your hands together, unable to fully look Beomgyu in the eye. 

He reaches forward, untangling your hands with his own, running his thumbs gently over the backs of your hands which have started to turn red with irritation.

“You can tell me anything, always.” You don’t think you’ve ever seen him look this earnest in all the years you’ve known him, no trace of humor in his eyes.

Just as you start to reply, you hear a loud cough behind you. Beomgyu immediately releases your hands from his grasp, but it’s too late.

Your mother saw everything.

“Y/N, what is this? Shouldn’t you be dancing with Taehyun?” She looks between the two of you, clearly disappointed.

The brightness in Beomgyu’s eyes dulls a little as she speaks, and it’s almost as if you can see him withdrawing into himself.

“Mother, I’ve been trying to find a way to tell you this for days now…there will be no proposal.”

At this, her eyes go wide and Beomgyu’s eyebrows raise almost to his hairline.

“Why in the world not? What have you done to ruin things this time?” Your mother’s mouth is a thin line, anger written all over her face.

“I’m sure she can explain-” Beomgyu starts, trying to defend you.

“You are not a part of this conversation, Mr. Choi, so I suggest you see yourself out.” Though he’s taller, he shrinks under your mother’s vicious gaze.

“No need, I’m going to see myself out.” You glare at your mother, storming out of the ball so you can be anywhere but here. 

How dare she assume that it was your fault that things were called off? I mean, it sort of was, what with Taehyun arguing that not only did Beomgyu have feelings for you, but that it seemed you had feelings as well.

Your racing thoughts have brought you to the library which sits just off the main foyer. You pace the aisles, dust catching in the dim candlelight around the room. Eventually you slide down a bookcase to sit on the floor, head hung in your hands.

As you sit, breathing as deeply as you can manage in a corset, you hear the door creak open. You sit up straighter, bracing yourself to tell off some couple that’s snuck away from the party.

“Y/N, are you in here?” You’re surprised to see Beomgyu peeking around the corner of a bookshelf, breathing a sigh of relief once he sees you.

“...hi,” you manage weakly. He comes closer, choosing to slide down the bookcase to sit beside you.

“Hey.”

The two of you sit in silence for a few minutes, though it feels comfortable, not stifling.

“So…Taehyun was going to propose?” Beomgyu murmurs softly, though it feels as if the question takes up the whole room.

You look over at him and nod.

“What changed?” You can’t help but notice the twinge of sadness that seems to make his voice shake.

“Taehyun said that he couldn’t propose anymore. He didn’t want to ruin things.” You’ve begun wringing your hands again, and Beomgyu reaches to stop it by resting his hand on top of yours.

“Ruin what?”

You raise your gaze to meet his warm brown one. “He said you loved me…that you never stopped loving me.” Your voice is wobbly, and your stomach feels like it may drop completely out of your body.

Beomgyu lets out a short burst of laughter, which has you glaring at him in return.

“Why are you laughing?!” you huff.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…I just thought I had made it abundantly clear how I felt about you, that’s all.”

You stare at him, his expression unreadable.

“How…how do you feel about me?”

His hand wraps around your own, bringing it to his lips. Where his lips brush your skin feels like fire has erupted both upon the point of contact and within your heart.

“Taehyun’s right, I do love you. Always have, no matter how hard I tried not to.” He chuckles at your astonished face. “Surely you can’t be that surprised, dearest.” The candlelight is now reflecting in his eyes as he looks over at you, the sweetness in his gaze matching their chocolate color.

How have you been so blind all this time?

A sudden clattering noise steals your attention away from Beomgyu, and you look over to see the sheepish face of your brother placing books back onto a shelf that he’d knocked over.

As he tucks the final one away, he looks up and his embarrassment morphs into astonishment.

“What are you two…what the…did I-?” Yeonjun splutters, not even able to finish a complete thought.

“We were just talking, that’s all.” Beomgyu speaks up for the two of you.

Yeonjun’s eyes scan over the both of you, lingering on the fact that Beomgyu’s hand covers your own. Beomgyu makes no effort to retract his hand, his chin jutting out in defiance, as if he’s daring your brother to say anything else.

Yeonjun doesn’t take the bait, simply rolling his eyes and offering his hand out to you so you can stand. As you adjust your skirts, you look up to find him staring at you curiously.

“You’re expected out there, you know…mother will come looking for you if you don’t show up soon.” You move to follow him out the door, and almost crash into Yeonjun as he turns to face Beomgyu again. “And you-you wait a few minutes before leaving. Don’t want people getting the wrong idea.” With that he looks back at you, eyebrow raised, before striding out the door.

—--------------------------------------------------------------

You hurry down the hall after your brother, slightly out of breath by the time you catch up to him. The two of you walk in silence for a moment before he turns to look at you.

“Are you going to tell me what just happened, or do I have to put the pieces together myself?”

You round on your brother, incensed.

“Why do you need to know? Just so you can tell me to stay away from him like you have our entire lives?”

His steely gaze softens as he takes in your ire. “I just want to know, I’m your brother and I want to make sure you’re taken care of.” You narrow your eyes. “Those things I said about Beomgyu before…weren’t exactly…true.” Yeonjun looks ashamed and can’t quite meet your gaze.

“And what does that mean?”

“What I said about him being a womanizer isn’t true.”

“But why would you make up such a thing?”

“I saw how heartbroken you were once Beomgyu stopped writing you,” he starts.

“I was not-” you interrupt, but he continues talking.

“I know you keep his old letters under your floorboard to this day, sister, as much as you’ve tried to hide it. I saw how heartbroken you were, and I wanted to help. So I made those things up so you wouldn’t care for him any longer. I wanted you to have a proper chance at love, at happiness. It seems you’ve taken that into your own hands,” he smiles ruefully.

“...he said he loved me,” you breathe incredulously.

“Did you also believe he didn’t love you when he kissed you at thirteen?”

You shove Yeonjun’s arm in protest, and he just laughs.

“Eliza was right, you are blind.”

You’re approaching the crowd again, and you start to retort, but your brother starts drifting away from you.

“What’s that? I think I hear my fiancee calling me..”

You huff in indignation, doing your best to melt back into the crowd. 

—---------------------------------------------------

Your mother pretends as if nothing has happened once you make your reappearance. Yeonjun, on the other hand, keeps catching your eye across the room, motioning towards you and trying his best to wink, though it looks like rapid blinking. You can’t help but giggle at how silly he looks.

As promised, Beomgyu had waited several minutes before rejoining the festivities, but just as he moves to join you, you are surprised by Taehyun appearing at your side.

“Would you care to dance?”

“I don’t have much of a choice, do I?” you offer, which makes him smile as you take his outstretched hand.

You settle into a comfortable waltz, making small talk while turning about the ballroom. As the second half of the dance begins, you notice Beomgyu standing in the corner of the room, an unreadable expression on his face as he follows you and Taehyun with his eyes.

As Taehyun turns you through the dance, he notices him as well, sending a small smirk your way.

“He can’t keep his eyes off you, can he?” Your gaze jerks back to the man in front of you at his statement. “Should I expect a wedding invitation anytime soon?”

The air leaves your lungs at his question.

“What?” you choke out, “No, that’s not, we’re not-”

Taehyun’s brow scrunches in confusion. “Did he not tell you he loved you?”

“He did, but-”

“And did you not tell him you loved him in return?” he interrupts.

“It all happened so quickly, and I still thought he was a rake, but Yeonjun explained, and I-”

“Y/N, stop. As I said before, Beomgyu has loved you his whole life, he’s never looked at another woman the way he looks at you. Sure, he talks about fencing a little too much, but if that’s the most bothersome thing about him, surely you can find it in your heart to forgive.”

He’s smiling as he states his case, but you can’t find it in you to smile back. Yeonjun had lied to you about Beomgyu being a womanizer, and here Taehyun was corroborating his story. Your childhood best friend had been in love with you his whole life, and you are just now realizing that you might be able to actually be together. 

The music is dying down, and everything clicks into place…you need to find Beomgyu. Your eyes scan the room, but the one person you’re looking for is missing. 

“Taehyun, I have to go, I have to find him!” you exclaim, hurrying away as you hear a faint farewell behind you.

You move as quickly as possible through the crowd, still unable to find the man you’re looking for. Suddenly, you have an idea.

—----------------------------------------------------------

The night air is slightly chilly, a welcome reprieve from dancing as you make your way through the garden, the path illuminated by lantern light.

It’s as if your feet have a mind of their own, carrying you around a corner where you see broad shoulders in the shadow of the large willow tree.

He turns at the sound of your footsteps, a small smile that doesn’t quite meet his eyes forming.

“I’ve been looking for you,” you say weakly.

“I thought you were busy dancing with Taehyun.”

“I was, and that’s why I need to talk to you,” you state matter-of-factly.

“Why, so you can tell me it was all a big mistake and you do want to marry him after all?”

As you draw closer to him, you can see his shoulders droop as his smile starts to disappear.

“Beomgyu-” 

You reach towards him and he turns away before your hand meets his cheek.

“Tell me you don’t love me.” His voice is dull and lifeless. “Tell me you want to marry him.”

“As usual, you have no idea what I want.” 

His face turns back to yours, confused. 

“Just say what you want, then!” 

His voice carries through the garden, and you can’t help but smile in response.

Beomgyu’s brow raises in confusion.

“I need to know once and for all, what are your feelings towards me? I want nothing more than to stay by your side always, but if you want me to leave, I will never bother you again.” You can hear the desperation in his voice as he draws closer, seemingly without realizing.

“That’s the thing…I think I want you to bother me for the rest of my life.”

You watch as the realization of what you said dawns on him, his eyes lighting up and a true smile breaking across his face. He starts to respond, but before he can say anything your lips are meeting his. His initial shock fades quickly, and he brings one hand to your waist and the other gently cradles the back of your neck.

You’re not sure how long the kiss lasts, but you feel as if you could stay forever in his embrace, in this moment. It just feels…right.

As the two of you separate, Beomgyu leans his forehead against yours, a wide smile on his face. You look into his eyes and laugh.

“You know, I do love you, but you are going to have to do something about how much you brag about fencing.”

His response is to dive in for another kiss, until you hear someone clearing their throat. You spring apart, only to see Yeonjun holding back laughter on the far side of the clearing.

“Can we at least expect a proposal this time around?”

You glare at your brother, but Beomgyu only laughs, drawing you close.

“If she’ll have me.”

—--------------------------------------------------------------------

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