delacyrose224

eternallygyu

Just a 30-something K-Pop stan.Masterlist: The Jukebox

583 posts

My Freaking HEARTthis Was So Sweet, I Loved It!

My freaking HEART…this was so sweet, I loved it!

unfair II ; yeonjun

genre: angst, fluff

word count: 3.8K

warnings: alcohol, mentions of driving too fast

song rec: shiver by lucy rose

read part one here !

i apologize for any (grammatical) errors or typos!

you fumbled with the make up brushes on the table as you put all the products back in your make up bags.

you closed your eyes for a second when you heard his laughter again. and hers.

opening your eyes, you averted them to the mirror, looking at the two through it.

the rookie idol was twirling a strand of hair in between her fingers as she giggled at something yeonjun said. her eyes were glowing as they looked at him.

you understood that. you, too, used to look at yeonjun like he hung the moon. your eyes used to glow like that as well when you would look at him when he’d hold you close. yeonjun was simply magnificent.

and that was why you could never blame the rookie idol for practically throwing herself at yeonjun, even though it made your heart feel like it was being pulled out of your chest when you would see yeonjun react to it by only standing closer to her.

it had been two weeks since your encounter with yeonjun before the show, two weeks since you officially ended whatever was going on between the two of you. though, it didn't feel right to call it 'whatever.' it was love. pure love. you both knew it.

you swallowed as your eyes rested on yeonjun. his cheeks were still a little red from performing, the glitter below his eyes faded a little but nonetheless were still making his eyes pop. his gelled hair was slightly tousled, but that was your favorite look on him because it indicated that he had danced his heart out, something you loved seeing. there was nothing as enchanting as watching yeonjun do things he was passionate about.

it only took a second of looking at yeonjun to make you feel like you were flying. flying through a lilac sky while feeling as light as a feather.

yeonjun felt your eyes on him through the mirror and couldn't stop himself from looking back. as your eyes met, you almost felt your breath hitch in your throat. yeonjun quickly looked away.

it only took a second of facing reality to make you crash down from that lilac sky and hit the ground.

you cleared your throat as you quickly continued cleaning the surface of the make up table.

a text on your phone made the screen light up and you looked at it.

anne: we are ready to go

putting your phone in your back pocket, you grabbed the make up bags and started walking towards the door, past yeonjun and the idol you still didn't even know the name of.

you felt the stare of yeonjun on you. turning around, you forced yourself to look at the man.

"we're ready to go home," you spoke, your voice monotone, before glancing at the girl's slightly annoyed face.

you wanted to let out a scoff. don't worry, girl, you have a much bigger chance of being with him than i do, was what went through your mind as you turned around and started walking through the halls towards the exit of the venue.

a few seconds later you heard footsteps behind you, indicating the boy was following you.

you were glad he didn't catch up to you and continued to walk behind you because being close to him was suffocating.

you stepped inside the van and hoped yeonjun would take the second van. well, the rational part of you, your brain, hoped that.

your heart didn't.

just as you were about to close the car door, yeonjun stopped you by gripping the door handle.

your breath got caught in your throat and you quickly looked away as he entered the vehicle.

he sat down next to you and the close proximity between you and him made you shut your eyes for a second before looking straight ahead, not wanting to make anne, another stylist who was sitting beside you, notice anything.

the van drove off and if you didn't know better you'd say yeonjun only pressed himself against you more.

his thighs touched yours and even if you would have wanted to, you wouldn't be able to move your legs as you didn't have any more space.

in any other situation you'd get annoyed when a man was taking up all the space by sitting like this, but right now it was making your heart ache. because you knew he was doing it on purpose. he was taking any opportunity he could to be close to you, any opportunity to touch you. even now.

why was he making it so terribly hard for you? for the both of you?

arriving at the dorms, the boys got out of the van and even though you refused to look back, you felt the way yeonjun looked back at you for the last time before exiting the van, taking a piece of your heart with him as always.

you expected to be able to breathe again the moment yeonjun wasn't sitting beside you anymore, but as the van started driving again and the space beside you was empty, breathing only seemed to get harder. and this made you realize once again that even though you wished it wasn't true, you needed yeonjun more than anything.

it had been a weak since you had last seen yeonjun. you thought that during this week off work, you could start getting over him. but unfortunately for you not seeing him during the day, didn't mean you wouldn’t still see him in your dreams. it was really only to be expected you would see him even when you were unconscious as he was on your mind every second you were conscious.

tonight you decided you needed to have some distraction and that was why you went out with your best friend. you danced, drank and overall had a good time. but as you sat in the cab on your way back to your apartment, things went downhill.

"i didn't know yeonjun was dating anyone," your friend murmured as she nudged you while still looking at her phone.

you felt your heart drop and her sudden words almost sobered you up. "what?"

she turned the phone screen to you and as your eyes scanned the news article, you felt your heart start beating in your throat. it wasn't until you scrolled down and saw the blurry and dark pictures of yeonjun with a girl, that you felt your insides sink.

you blinked a few times as you sat back in your seat. you didn't deserve to be shocked, you didn't deserve to be sad: yeonjun wasn't yours and he never was. and still, it felt like your heart was being ripped out of your body and crumbled right in front of you.

your best friend frowned as she noticed the way your face got drained of its color. "are you okay? what's wrong?"

you quickly shook your head. "nothing is wrong, i'm fine." looking out of the window you noticed the cab arrived at your apartment complex. "i'll see you later alright? text me when you're home.” you gave her a forced smile before paying the cab driver for both yourself and your best friend who would be getting of five minutes later as she lived a little further away.

when you got out of the vehicle and started walking to your apartment, the smile on your face slowly started fading as tears started clouding your vision.

this was exactly what you deserved for falling in love with yeonjun, for having allowed him to hold and kiss you, for making him fall in love for you as well.

you sat onto your sofa and scrolled through the article again, now on your own phone and more tears started staining your cheeks. was he really dating someone now? was everything he once felt for you, now officially gone? you needed to know. you needed to hear him say it. maybe hearing him say he found someone else, could be the first step for you to get over him.

you looked at yeonjun's name in your contacts. you knew you shouldn't do it. even in your current state you knew how wrong this was and how bad it could end. but still you couldn't stop your finger from pressing the call button, dialing his number.

the phone rang a few times, and when it rang a third time you realized it was best to hang up, before more damage could be done.

but just as you were about to remove the phone from your ear, the ringing stopped, making your heart do the same.

"y/n?"

his voice was hoarse and a little confused. you couldn't blame him, you were calling him at two in the morning.

"hey," your voice cracked, making you shut your eyes immediately as you pressed your palm against them.

"y/n, is everything okay?"

you shook your head. nothing was okay.

"yeah." your voice was barely above a whisper and by the muffled sounds on the other side you could tell yeonjun sat up straight.

"y/n, what's wrong? are you okay?"

of course he would be able to tell by your voice that something was up. you let out a small laugh, "yeah, why wouldn't i be?"

you looked at yourself in the mirror and you felt more laughter bubble up in your chest at your pathetic state. "because you're probably dating someone now and i finally lost you completely?" you laughed again, tears now starting to spill from your eyes.

"because i'm calling you at two in the morning and i feel like i'm literally dying without you?" the laughing turned into full on sobbing now as you couldn't stop yourself from breaking down anymore.

"i'm completely fine," you cried as you put your phone down on the table in front of you and you placed your elbows on your knees, burying your face in your hands. your phone automatically went on speaker.

"y/n, calm down, please, take deep breaths."

his voice only made you cry more bitter tears. you wanted to listen to him and try steadying your breath, but it was impossible. you couldn't calm down anymore. your heart was being crushed to the point it felt like your lungs were starting to get affected too.

"please, come over," you managed to let out in between your sobs.

"i'm already in my car," yeonjun replied, his voice stern but thick, filled with worry and pain.

you closed your eyes, feeling a light spark flash in your broken heart.

"i'm on my way, baby," yeonjun murmured.

getting from txt's dorms to your apartment would normally take about ten minutes by car. but it had only been five minutes when you heard a knock on your door, indicating that yeonjun had been speeding through the city to get to you.

you had called yeonjun in an impulse, but now as you walked to the door, you were slowly starting to realize that you really asked him to come to you, after everything you'd done to him. nerves rushed through you and your hand was shaking as you reached for the door handle.

but all your nerves disappeared the moment you opened the door because only a second later yeonjun's arms were wrapped around you in a tight embrace. you started crying again, but this time it wasn't completely out of despair. this time, a part of it was out of relief you were finally in yeonjun's arms again, your safest place. his familiar scent entered your nose and it made your anxious heart slowly start beating at a normal pace again. yeonjun's fingers tangled in your hair as he held your head against his chest, softly whispering sweet nothings in your ear. "i'm here, baby, don't cry anymore."

your arms tightened around his torso, your fingers gripping at the soft material of his gray hoodie. the same hoodie you wore when the two of you had been at the beach at one in the morning and it had started getting chilly. you remembered the way he had put his hoodie over your head before pulling you closer to him on the soft blanket in the sand. you had laid on his chest and talked with him about everything and anything until the sun had started rising.

the memories and the way yeonjun was stroking your hair right now made your tears slowly stop pouring and your breathing start getting steady again. you pulled back from his embrace and immediately missed the warmth of it as you looked up at yeonjun.

"you drank," yeonjun noticed as he looked in your exhausted eyes, "and you look exhausted.. you haven't been taking care of yourself, have you?"

you looked at him with a saddened expression, your eyes almost closing out of exhaustion. "i'm sorry for calli-"

he quickly shook his head. "don't say that."

he slowly raised his hand to wipe your tears away, but just before it could touch your cheek he hesitated. you closed your eyes, indicating that you were waiting for his touch, and you softly smiled when you finally felt it. his fingers stroked your cheek and pushed the fallen strands of hair behind your ear. "you need to sleep, y/n."

you nodded, letting yourself enjoy the feeling of his warm hand against your cheek for a little longer. "i don't want this moment to end," you whispered making yeonjun feel heavy with emotions.

"you're drunk, y/n. i don't know how much of this you will still dare to say when you're sober. i'm scared to hold onto the things you're saying now," yeonjun admitted quietly.

you slowly nodded as you stepped away, a small stumble in your steps. "that's fair."

yeonjun was quiet for a second as he let his eyes glide over you. "come on," he whispered as he took your hand. without thinking twice you grabbed his hand.

yeonjun closed the door behind him as he entered your familiar apartment. as his eyes fell on the sofa, he couldn't help but immediately remember the night he had kissed you there. the rest of his members had gone home to their families that day, but yeonjun's family were overseas during that time. so after a long day of practice, he didn't want to go to the dorms. he didn't want to be alone. so you invited him to eat dinner at your place. it was supposed to be completely friendly, but the two of you should have known that such a thing as "friendly" did not exist for two people in love. maybe the two of you did know, but just decided to play dumb. and that worked, until it didn't.

yeonjun quickly snapped out of his thoughts as he led you to your bedroom. you sat down on your bed, your eyes barely open as exhaustion was getting the best of you. yeonjun opened your closet and went to grab an oversized shirt for you but froze when he realized the white shirt laying on the shelf was his. the familiar ache he had felt the past days whenever he thought about you returned and he bit his lip, trying to hold back the tears pressing against his eyes before taking the shirt out and grabbing some shorts. he gave you the clothes and told you to change as he went to get make up wipes from your bathroom.

when yeonjun came back, you were dressed in the shorts but only had a top on, the shirt still in your hands.

"this is yours," you mumbled, your voice small. you held the shirt out to yeonjun. "i'm sorry for not giving it back sooner. it just smelled like you and i needed to have it with me for a little longer."

yeonjun felt something in his heart crack when he heard your words. "y/n, please stop. don't say these things when you're drunk," yeonjun whispered, hurt lacing his voice.

you didn't reply to this, but you deep down knew you weren't drunk enough to not realize what you were saying.

he grabbed the shirt from you before kneeling in front of you and putting the material over your head.

the sweet scent of the shirt engulfed you and you couldn't help but weakly smile. the smile stayed on your lips when yeonjun held your face as he gently cleaned the make up off your face with the wipes.

after he was done, you got under the covers and yeonjun got up from the floor. he walked to the door and his hand was hovering over the light switch as he looked at you.

"sleep well, y/n." the smile on his face was soft but it didn't reach his eyes as he looked at you.

because tomorrow he wouldn't be allowed to hold you close anymore. tomorrow he wouldn’t be allowed to whisper sweet nothings in your ear and wipe your tears anymore. he wouldn't be allowed to stroke your hair and hold your face as he cleans your make up anymore. tomorrow everything would be different again. and that was why tonight was a blessing and a curse for him.

yeonjun turned off the lights and just as he was about to leave your room, he heard your small voice coming from your bed.

"please don't leave, jun."

he stood still for a second. he should be leaving. he shouldn't be making things harder for the both of you. but you were asking him to stay. and he could never say no to you. so after a while, he nodded and gave you a weak smile. "okay."

rays of sunlight peeked through the small openings of your curtains and made you slowly open your eyes as a yawn left your lips. you rubbed your eyes and sat up straight before your eyes fell on the medication and the glass of water on your nightstand. you frowned, you didn’t put that there.

suddenly realization hit you as you remembered everything that happened yesterday night. you looked down at the familiar shirt you were wearing and you got your confirmation that yesterday night was in fact not a dream.

your eyes widened when you remembered you asked yeonjun not to leave. you jumped out of bed, almost tripping over your own feet as you made your way out of your bedroom and to the living room.

your heart slowly sank when silence and emptiness greeted you there. so he didn’t stay. you blinked a few times and you felt stupid for the way your eyes were starting to water.

all of a sudden you heard a sound coming from your kitchen and you frowned before making your way to the said area of your apartment.

your eyes widened when they fell on the person standing in front of the stove with their back facing you.

"jun," you whispered making the boy almost jump.

"i didn't know you were up already," he breathed when he turned around. you didn't even notice the smile that was growing on your face at the sight of yeonjun making breakfast.

he stayed. he kept his word.

"you stayed," you quietly spoke. "i told you i would, didn't i?" he replied with a small smile. you nodded. "you did."

it was quiet for a few seconds as the two of you just looked each other in the eyes.

"yeonjun, we need to talk." "y/n, we need to talk." the fact that the two of you said the same thing at the same time made you let out a nervous laugh and yeonjun looked down, biting his lower lip to hold back a smile.

after placing the freshly made breakfast on the table, the two of you sat down and quietly ate the food but not without throwing secret glances at each other and getting rosy cheeks.

when you were done, yeonjun decided to be the first one to speak up. "the articles were edited, y/n. they still caused so much heisa but i want to make clear to you that i am not dating anyone. i need you to know that," he spoke sternly while looking you into your eyes.

the moment the words left his mouth, it felt like a weight fell off your shoulders but at the same time another weight got added; he wasn’t dating anyone which meant moving on would be harder again.

“i don’t want to move on from you, y/n. and as selfish as it sounds, i’d rather die than have you move on from me,” yeonjun made known as if he could read your mind. your heart sped up.

standing up from your chair you shook your head as you started walking towards the window while picking at the skin around your nails. it was a habit of yours whenever you were nervous. “but yeonjun, how could we ever work? if someone would find out we’d both be in so much trouble, especially you. i-i can’t let you risk your caree-“

yeonjun also stood up and followed you. “y/n, you are not the one to decide that for me. even if someone were to find out, we would still figure it out. my career wouldn’t get affected, i promise.” you felt his presence behind you.

was he right? could the two of you figure it out and make this work?

warmth spread through your body when you felt his arms slowly sneak around your waist and pull you against his chest. you closed your eyes as you leaned back against him, letting your head rest against his collarbone. “i just want what’s best for you,” you whispered earnestly. he lowered his head before burying his face in the crook of your neck.

“you are what’s best for me. you know that,” he replied quietly, making your heart grow a size as goosebumps sprang up over your bare arms.

you turned around in his arms and your eyes locked with his. they were sad but you could also see the hope in them. you raised your arm and softly brushed some strands of hair out of his face, making the boy close his eyes as a safe feeling washed over him.

“please, give us a chance again,” he whispered as he let you stroke his cheek.

your lives and the people in it might not have agreed, but yeonjun and you were meant for each other and you weren’t going to deny that anymore. you weren’t going to lie to yourself and to him anymore. both of you deserved better than that. the love between you two deserved to exist, you were sure of that now.

so after a while you finally nodded, a soft smile growing on your face.

“okay.”

thank you all so much (especially the people tagged below who asked for a part two) for loving and supporting part one! you guys really motivated me to write a part two. i hope you enjoyed reading it <3

@madirecs @softie00 @pupupukyoong @hwxngjins @wonywish @strawbrinkofdeath @mulligrubsss @duyukneeewowutimeeen-anjodi8 @dreamlidia @yaintpaint

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