Stop Letting Your Heart And Your Pussy Choose Your Men.

Stop letting your heart and your pussy choose your men.

Cars Fanfic Author Problems:

“Wait a minute can they even do this they’re freaking cars”

You start to write something about ears or hands and then you remember like “…oh wait-”

getting anxious about putting human food in a scene so you just say oil to make it less conflicting

C A R  H U G S …

“THEY’VE GESTURED WITH THEIR TIRES LIKE TEN TIMES ALREADY DO SOMETHING ELSE YOU STUPID VEHICLES LIKE I LOVE YOU BUT PLEASE MAKE IT EASIER FOR ME”

unsure about how to make a scene more dynamic cause the characters can really only just sit there talking to each other

“IS. LIGHTNING. MCQUEEN. OOC. I SWEAR HE’S OOC IN THIS SCENE”

Or, alternatively: “IS ANYONE IN-CHARACTER IN THIS SCENE OH GOD I DON’T KNOW THIS SERIES AT ALL DO I I’M HORRIBLE”

“wait do they even have windshield wipers”

“how far can they stretch their axles out like arms omg this must read so awkward”

when you have to write Mater’s dialogue and you start  to say it out loud in the Larry the Cable Guy voice cause good God how do you write that voice properly (i.e. occasional horrid grammar and/or catchphrases)

*incoherent screaming about car anatomy*

“Okay would McQueen really cry here no he’d hold it in- but wait a second wouldn’t it be more powerful if he broke down here- alright listen up here-”

“OKAY IS IT THE ENGINE OR THE BATTERY THAT’S THE HEART I’M SO CONFUSED AND I’M THE ONE WRITING IT”

Varied polychrome reconstructions of Statue of Thalia, Greek Muse of Comedy. 2nd BCE, Delos. Reconstructions by the Liebieghaus Polychromy Research Project.

(read more)

this isn't a real feature but imagine if it was though

someone please tell internet baby gays that gay panic means something else

i have a friend who has kinda bad eczema on their right hand but their left hand is fine and thats because acidity makes eczema worse and that includes vaginal acidity and my friend is both a lesbian and a slut so they finger a lot of people and that fucks up the hand they use (their right hand). Anyways do you think BBC sherlock would deduce that by looking at my friend’s hands