Not That Anybody Asked, But I Think It's Important To Understand How Shame And Guilt Actually Work Before

Not that anybody asked, but I think it's important to understand how shame and guilt actually work before you try to use it for good.

It's a necessary emotion. There are reasons we have it. It makes everything so. much. worse. when you use it wrong.

Shame and guilt are DE-motivators. They are meant to stop behavior, not promote it. You cannot, ever, in any meaningful way, guilt someone into doing good. You can only shame them into not doing bad.

Let's say you're a parent and your kid is having issues.

Swearing in class? Shame could work. You want them to stop it. Keep it in proportion*, and it might help. *(KEEP IT IN PROPORTION!!!)

Not doing their homework? NO! STOP! NO NOT DO THAT! EVER! EVER! EVER! You want them to start to do their homework. Shaming them will have to opposite effect! You have demotivated them! They will double down on NOT doing it. Not because they are being oppositional, but because that's what shame does!

You can't guilt people into building better habits, being more successful, or getting more involved. That requires encouragement. You need to motivate for that stuff!

If you want it in a simple phrase:

You can shame someone out of being a bad person, but you can't shame them into being a good person.

"gee I wonder how I will transfer this information reliably across long distances"

the trustworthy telecommunications dish:

holy shit this has always pissed me off, like if you look at Australian geography and ecology its actually not that bad at all? the "scary" spiders and snakes are literally just attracted to areas that end up being common in american-style homes (pools, garages, etc) which leads to more encounters in detached suburban housing...

and also! the whole "australia is a barren deadly desert" thing? that's not really true either! even now when people talk about this there's some kind of belief that the land was only significant like, culturally. most people don't realise but Australia has a massive groundwater reserve which was known and used by the nations that lived in those areas. and by "massive", I mean:

MASSIVE. the great artesian basin alone, for reference, is estimated to hold 3 times the volume of ALL OF THE GREAT LAKES.

the myth that the entire country is barren and deadly or whatever is just used to justify the mining and farming industries' ridiculous claim of quite literally trillions of dollars worth of land and resources

okay I’ll say it nicer:

australia was colonised according to the myth of terra nullius (or empty land). ever since the very early days of colonialism, the land has been framed as something untameable and unliveable. this has justified acts of violence against the first peoples here, in that they are seen as non-people. it has justified the destruction of sacred land in the goal of making australia look more european. (an example: our capital city contains a man-made lake that is now nothing better than a fetid carp pond. it’s disgusting and unnatural). basically, the idea of “taming australia’ has justified endless harm

“everything in australia is weird and dangerous” is not just some silly meme phrase, it is something that arcs back to the very beginning of white settlers laying claim to ‘australia’. and personally I am very sick of seeing it thrown around like it means nothing

peridot continues to cure me of everything. i think i’d be magnificent if peridot continued to love wearing non-gem-projected clothing

i deserve to be an eel. in a crevice with a bunch of other eels. opening and closing our mouths over and over