AITA For Sleeping?

AITA for sleeping?

I (???, cat) am a wizard cat whose whole job is to watch people put little papers in a box. Since I’m a cat, I like to nap a lot. I’m supposed to keep track of who puts in papers, but a lot of people keep putting in the papers when I’m asleep, causing their messages to be read as anonymous.

AITA?

Perfection.

i put “All I Want for Christmas is You” through a MIDI converter, and then back through an mp3 converter

the result is this garbage

AITA for eating anyone who annoys me?

Before you vote, just hear me out.

My job is to sit in a cramped little building on an alien moon, and to give out paychecks to workers who bring me things to sell. The only problem is, they always give me useless junk like jars of pickles and toy robots. But since they’re “rare”, I have to shell out a TON of dough for this scrap. Company policy and all, but still.

To make matters worse, the workers are beyond annoying. They never shut up, and they won’t. Stop. Ringing. The. Bell. Anyone who keeps ringing the dang thing by the time I open my little stand up gets eaten with 0 hesitation.

Recently my higher ups have been chastising me on my behaviour, but I only have so much patience, and the workers stretch it REAL thin. AITA?

QUICK. RB THIS WITH THE FIRST SONG LYRIC THAT COMES TO YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU SEE THIS POST. THAT IS AN ORDER

AITA for tearing apart a friend group?

This is a bit of a long one, so strap in. I go by a few different names, but to you can call me P (M, no clue how old I am. A few hundred years, at least?) Anyways, I created this virus that turns people into mutated monsters many years ago, and have been spreading it across numerous dimensions ever since. But I didn't just do this for no reason. It’s me and my colleagues’ jobs to keep the number of dimensions in check, and I do that with my virus.

So I go around and do my thing, and it’s gotten pretty repetitive by now. I’m bored out of my mind when who do I notice? A colony of weird-looking survivors! There’s a robot, a skeleton(?), some edgy guy, and a bossy guy with a bandana. I couldn’t pass up this opportunity, and disguised myself as a robot before “randomly stumbling across” their colony in an attempt to join them.

After some time, everyone had accepted me as one of their own. Well, everyone but the bossy guy with the bandana. To make things worse, I learned that they purposely came to this dimension to track down and destroy the source of the virus. They wanted me dead! And they didn’t even realize I was who they were looking for! I decided that I'd have to do something about this before they found out. I take my job seriously, and I'm not going to let some rag-tag group of survivors ruin my fun.

Unfortunately for me, I got a liiiitle bit too cocky when it came to undisguising myself while away from the colony. The real robot saw me, and I had to tear them in half. No witnesses and all. But it's not like I killed them, since robots can always be rebuilt, right? Anyways, bossy guy eventually confronts me on the real robot's disappearance, and I play dumb. I would have been busted then and there if the maybe-a-skeleton and the edgy guy didn't vouch for me. Bossy guy wasn't happy, but he allowed me to stay. He was already on to me, so I knew I had to act fast if I was gonna go through with my plan.

A few weeks later, I catch the edgy guy off-guard while he was on a supply run and I infect him. I scuff myself up and run back, claiming that we got jumped by some infected and I lost track of the edgy dude. Bossy guy is FURIOUS and keeps saying that I'm suspicious and that I should be dismantled or at least thrown out, but the maybe-skeleton blows up at bossy guy saying that he's both a jerk and paranoid. 90% sure skeleton trusted me since the real robot was his best friend and I gave him my 'condolences’ after he never came back. Also apparently the edgy guy was his boyfriend? Whoops.

After a back-and fourth shouting match, bossy guy packed his things and stormed off, leaving just me and skeleton. Knowing that the group weren't a threat to me anymore, I leave skeleton and get into contact with one of my colleagues and tell him what I did. But to my surprise, he said that what I did was 'completely unnecessary’ and 'really messed up.' I personally don't see it that way, since I'm just doing my job. But AITA in the end?