Whats Mine Remus Lupin. Pt 6.

What’s Mine — Remus Lupin. Pt 6.

Pairing: Remus X fem!Reader.

Summary: you keep stealing Remus’s things until one day he snaps. (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)

Word count: 1.3k

Warnings: bad physical health, kissing, sexual tension, Remus being his assholeish self, mentions of his lycanthropy.

Note: sorry for the late ish update, I had no ideas how to continue it but… there we go

Remus spent days thinking of what Sirius told him, how to apologise to you, how to make things write.

He tried to do it many times but he backed out at the last minute.

He just needed to show you how much he cared for you, missed you.

He dangled his sore legs down his bed as he took a sharp breath, dealing with his health on top of all of this wasn’t exactly helping him apologise to you any sooner.

“You okay there bud?” James asked. “Yeah, yeah I’m good.” Remus responded as he finally stood up.

“Why don’t you take a break today?” James continued as Remus shrugged, not seeing the reason, his legs were always somewhat in pain, but he didn’t feel like using his crutches.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re limping.”

“Don’t worry about me James, I’ll be fine.” Remus gave his concerned friend a smile, taking a book and heading outside.

All he could think of is what he would say to you, his hand on his knee as he massaged it lightly, rolling his head back against the couch as he couldn’t take this pain any longer.

He heard the frame open, then shut.

His eyes went to the person who did it, your eyes locking together, then they went to his hand on his knee, frowning in concern as you stepped to walk away.

He didn’t expect you to care, and you shouldn’t.

Remus sat up, rubbing his tired eyes as he flipped through his book.

You wanted to talk to him, ask how he’s doing, but you figured Remus doesn’t want anything to do with you and it was such a hard pill to swallow.

You sat on your bed, thinking of what he said to you.

Is this all to push you away? Why would he?

You and Remus’s friendship wasn’t mutual at some times, you were close up until the third year, you felt him distancing himself then he tolerated you at best.

Not even sure tolerate is the right word to use.

You just wanted your best friend back.

It wasn’t long before you heard a knock at the door, sitting up and shouting for them to get in.

Remus’s sandy brown hair came in view as he walked in. “Can we talk?” He mumbled, you narrowed your eyes in confusion as he walked in and closed the door behind him.

He looked incredibly handsome, wearing one of the sweaters you used to steal from him, which you regretted because it’s the reason you both don’t talk anymore.

“What is it?” You sat on the edge of your bed, hoping he wouldn’t tell you anything that would ruin your mood for the next week to come.

As Remus walked inside your dorm, looked at your room and at you, sitting on your bed, waiting for him to talk.

He felt so tongue tied, what does he need to say?

He glanced at your lips, your hands, your eyes, your hair.

What is he doing here?

“Remus?” You’d asked as he was taken out of his trance for a moment. “What did you want to talk about?”

Then he recalled Sirius’s advice, apologise, hold your hand, apologise, hold your hand—

“I dreamt that I kissed you last night—“ Remus blurted, no no no, he blinked at the realisation of what he just uttered, fear crippling inside of his chest as he looked at how your face dropped to a thousand different colours.

He was supposed to apologise and hold your hand!

“Remus— what?” You chuckled awkwardly, feeling red in the face, and Remus saw it.

He blinked, taking a shaky breath that was a little louder than anticipated.

He stared at you as you were waiting for a response, he couldn’t take it.

He felt a rise of anxiety coursing through him as he turned to leave, but you wouldn’t have it, you stopped him.

You called after him, turning him around, his tall figure towering over you. “Why are you doing this to me?” You finally asked, your voice hoarse, nervously staring up into his eyes, fighting the urge not to cry once again.

“You changed so much, Remus… why?” You asked, your bottom lip trembling. “Why’d you come here? Telling me you kissed me in your dreams but then in reality you ignore me and you hate me and— what did I do?” You asked, taking a hold of his arms, desperate for answers.

Remus couldn’t believe he’d made you cry again.

“You made me fall for you, you— I wasn’t supposed to, I didn’t want to.” Remus finally confessed, his voice shaky, your hold on his arms loosening.

The look of hurt that flashed through your eyes made his chest ache.

“Why, am I so terrible to love?” You asked, your voice cracking as a tear fell down your face and he finally reached to wipe it, but you stepped away from him, still staring up at his eyes, Remus felt frozen.

What could he do? Could he do anything?

“I just didn’t want to, I couldn’t help it.” He finally answered as you tilted your head slightly at him, your eyes still glistening with tears. “Why are you punishing me for it?”

Then he thought of it, was that what he was doing? Was he blaming you for his own feelings?

Remus bit down his bottom, thinking.

“Is that it? Are you trying to get back at me because you fell for me?” Your voice trembled as he sighed, nodding.

“That could have been it, I don’t know.” Remus shrugged before you turned around, running your hand through your hair. “you’re mad at me and you want to get back at me for feelings I’m not responsible for, how’s that fair? How’s that love?” You questioned, turning around to face him.

“I love you, and it’s all I think about… think what you want but I’m so goddamn in love with you.” Remus blurted which made you speechless, couldn’t believe what you’re hearing.

“And you hate it, what do you want from me Remus? Shout at me? Hit me because you’re in love with me and you hate it? Go ahead.” You walked closer to him but he couldn’t think straight as he kissed you right there.

He did it, he held your waist in his hands, as they tugged at your body pulling you into him, his lips taking yours in a passionate, long awaited kiss, his tongue slid across your bottom lip as he felt his heart race.

You were a little stiff at first before you gave in, then you thought of how crazy this is as you pushed him away, gasping for air, looking at him in shock, his lips red from your own lipstick smeared on top of them.

“Stop, no..” you covered your face. “You still haven’t said you’re sorry, for everything you put me through.” You said as Remus was silent, he didn’t want to be sorry now, not when all he could think of is your stupid strawberry chapstick.

He longed to kiss you again, taste you again, he felt so ridiculous, he was ridiculous as he found himself leaning in for more.

“Get out.” You ordered at the lack of response finding it hard to look at him any longer, your lips still lingering with the feeling of his on your own, still feeling his tongue grazing your bottom lip, making you shiver and goosebumps rise on your skin.

And he listened, he left, knowing he screwed up once more, but oh how he couldn’t get the tension out of his head.

He knows you felt the same, and he’s going to get to kiss you again, maybe do even more than kiss you, and you’re going to let him, and you’re going to like every second of it.

Taglist: @wzrd-wheezes @jamespottersdaisy @myheartonthemove @ilovered7 @pureblood-nerd @peace-and-grunge @lilmaymayy @ur-pubic-hair @moonyunebi @turvi @helloitsmeeeeeee @wxIfztar @joeytribbiani18 @morganalatina21 @emma-cantmakeuphermind @cOnsc10usworld @bookish-dream @deathisthenextadventure @sevirius @cursedandromedablack @kers+666 @hobovsslut2707 @samberriejams @cancelledkaley @madison-rebel @alilium @avee09 @lizzieolseniskinda @no-soy-fer @mrsmaybank13 @fruityfrog505 @soulhasshattered @aphrcdites @rssami @littleshadow17 @limeren @silver-skelet0n @djlance-rock @rckstrbee @takem3tothelakes @my-beloved-fandoms

The forgotten child

Pairing's : fem! reader x peter parker, tony stark daughter! x tony stark, tony stark daughter! x peter parker

Warnings: really sad angst, jealousy, daddy issues, neglect, lmk if i missed anything! :)

Summary: dad of the year award? surely isn't going too him

a/n : I know the gif doesn't really match the theme of this story I just really liked it. I did not reread this so please ignore any grammar mistakes. Also, I'm not sure if i wrote a panic attack correctly but I wrote based on what their like for me. hope you all enjoy!

you really tried not to become the forgotten child, always tried you're very hardest to live up to your father expectations, trying to make him proud in hope's he'd show some form of attention.

always studying to get straight a's even through countless anxiety attacks from fear of failing and disappointing your father.

all you ever wanted was reassurance, and if you ever got lucky enough a "You did a good job" after getting a high score on a test.

but it never came, it would forever be something you longed to hear. he would usually just mumble a small, quiet "congrats" as his mind stayed focused on his work and his eyes stuck to the blueprint laid out on the table Infront of him.

you always tried you're best not to feel jealous whenever your father held morgan, you had no ressentiment towards morgan whatsoever, in fact she was the one that kept you smiling most days. although you couldn't help but feel your heart tighten from jealousy as you watched them have daddy daughter time

you really did try you're best to be happy for your younger sister, but you couldn't ignore that aching feeling. all you wanted was the attention she had that your heart ached so desperately for, but it never came despite your countless attempts.

you we're astound to hear a new avenger had been recruited, you always enjoyed meeting new people. mainly because they gave you attention they didn't even know you craved.

you always seeked to see the best in people, no matter what the circumstances we're. including peter parker, there was nothing wrong with him, he wasn't a bad person in fact quite a good one, and if you weren't so envious of him you possibly could have been friends with the boy. but you watched how peter and your father clicked so easily becoming like father and son.

it made the knots in your stomach tighten as you watched them spend time together, it made you feel as if something was wrong with you, like maybe if you tried harder or changed, he'd give you the attention you deserved.

your mother, pepper always said he loved you just as much as he loved morgan or even peter, but you knew the truth as much as you ignored it you knew. but oh, how you wish he did.

"Mom, I'm home" you called out knowing if father was home, he wouldn't answer you. after not receiving an answer, you decided to look through the house in search of your mother, after a couple of minutes searching you still hadn't found her and decided she probably went out and took morgan with her. you heard talking but it sounded like your father, and peter?? "what's peter doing here?" you wondered. you decided to peak you're head through the door and saw peter and tony standing with their backs faced away from you, working on some upgrades for peter's suit.

"you're a pretty great kid peter" tony told him as he smiled at him patting his shoulder. a wave of jealously hit your chest as you watched them, your throat tightening. "Thank you, Mr. stark," peter smiled cheekily as your fingers clenched into a fist at your side.

"Becoming like my son."

once those words left Tony's lips, your mouth went dry, your head aching as you backed away from the door as quietly as possible, you're breathing picking up rapidly. you quickly made your way to your room, tears forming in your eyes, you walked into your room and shut the door softly as your hands started shaking as you paced around your room quickly, trying to stop the tears from rolling down your cheeks. you never liked crying, it made you feel weak.

you're breathing came out in heavy gasp as you struggled to breathe. you leaned against the wall coughing as you squeezed your eyes shut as you tried to stop the words from replaying in your mind.

"Becoming like my son" continuously echoed through your head as soft sobs left your lips, you didn't want to feel this way, envious of what your father and peter had. it's not peter's fault about what your father feels about you so why hold him accountable. he'll never love you, at least not like he loves peter. you can't figure out why? you always tried you're best to impress him, but nothing seemed to be enough for him, it's like he didn't even care about your existence.

you stumbled over to your bed, taking deep breathes as your body grew exhausted from crying. you plopped down on your bed tiredly as you snuggled up against your blanket that was where your pillows we're supposed to be, you grabbed a pillow and hugged it too sleep.

you didn't want to put the blame on peter because it wasn't his fault, but a little piece of your heart blamed peter parker.

a/n: CLIFFHANGER!?!? I decided to leave it for now because I haven't come up with an ending that I thought fit the way I wanted so if you guys have ideas, please let me know. reblog's are highly appreciated, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed!

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tell me again on a good day [remus lupin x reader]

“Hi, pretty,” he murmured, tilting your head back to dot kisses from the corner of your lips to the centre. Your hand stuttered where it was moving from the attention. He covered it with his own and put you back on track. “That’s it, sweetheart.”

Your chest heaved. ”Am I doing a good job?”

“The best job,” his breathing turned shallow, eyelids drifting shut, “just like that.”

wordcount: 9.3k

summary: you’re pregnant from a terrible one night stand. remus only fancies you more for it.

tags: smut, hurt/comfort, first and second trimester of pregnancy, nsfw, marauders era, consensual but mediocre/uncomfortable sex at the beginning (not Remus), strangers to friends to lovers, not specifically muggle au but magic isn’t mentioned, breaking the cycle or something like that, she/her pronouns used for reader, fem reader, softie remus

Admittedly, you’d fucked up.

You were 21, living with your parents in the city. They were stricter than some. You had a 9.15PM sharp curfew, a 6.30AM wake up. You did everybody’s laundry, most of the cleaning and cooked 3 meals a day everyday for them. Call you fucking Cinderella, or whatever.

It wasn’t that bad. They didn’t force you to do these things, you knew it was expected, so you did it. They didn’t explicitly tell you that you couldn’t move out, it was never talked about, so you didn’t. They weren’t too keen on details, and you assumed a general brick wall were to be built between you and a life that was more than housekeeping and playing mediator.

They never mentioned boyfriends or, god forbid you, girlfriends, and so you never had one. You desired it sometimes - you were in your early twenties, most of your friends at that point had been having (terrible) sex for years. Your friends in school had all had boyfriends and slept with boys before you’d even been of age, and here you found yourself three years later having not known the touch of anyone.

For once, you wanted to do something unexpected. Your whole life had been written in stone from the day you were born. You took off your little cross necklace, went into town at 8.15 sharp, scoured the local for somebody mildly attractive, and you let him fuck you in an alleyway.

It was terrible, as things went. Dry as sand with your face pressed into unforgiving stone, your partner mistook your pants of general movement as pleasure. He said something wanton that should’ve been a turn on, like, oh, you like that huh?

“Yes,” you said. You were lying, of course, but felt trapped by indecision. Should you tell him to get off? You were shocked by how different this felt than how it looked in the movies or how it was described in books. It didn’t hurt so badly, a dull pinch, and then he was finishing. A horrible sound, like a fish learning it can’t breathe air.

He pulled away and you straightened, rubbing your cheek with your hand. You didn’t know how you felt or what you felt, only the slimey sensation of having been used. You pulled your trousers up and walked away, even as the guy started shouting for you to have his phone number.

No, you thought to yourself. No thanks. Maybe my parents were right after all, I should stick to cooking and cleaning. Rather a housemaid to them than some rando in the pub that couldn’t find your clit, even though it was literally right there, like a button. What could you do, draw an arrow?

You didn’t feel like touching yourself ever again at this point. When you got home at 8.34PM, you couldn’t help but think to yourself how you’d reckoned sex took a bit longer, and felt nicer, and as you filled the bath up with steaming water and undressed, you found you didn’t want to look at your body at all. You washed in between your legs with detachment and pushed your head under the water to sulk.

-

The boy working at the pharmacist was concerned about you, evidently. He’d been working here for maybe two years and you often saw him whilst buying topicals and once, embarrassingly, dioralyte for your mother. You’d thought he’d think it was for you and so had made a big show of seeming spritely. You didn’t know his name - he was shy, though lovely, and usually in the back while Lucy, your mother's friend, worked the counter.

You’d waited for Lucy to be out for her 5.45PM smoke break before going in. You went straight to the counter where he stood, hesitant and scared and cleared your throat.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hi,” you said. You could barely get the word out. It was enough for him to look at you with recognition. His hand drifted under the counter, and he pulled out a pregnancy test.

“I didn’t get to ask my question.”

“You have that look of dread on your face, so I assumed. Sorry,” he said. You nodded, taking the box in your shaking hands.

You looked up at him. “Can I ask you something embarrassing?”

He smiled kindly. “That’s what I’m here for. Total confidentiality, and I’ll try my best.”

You swallowed past the lump in your throat and tried to come up with the words. “Is it supposed to hurt so much afterwards?” you asked him, the words cracked and cleaved from you, a vulnerability you hadn’t ever wanted to give anyone. But you had nobody else to turn to.

He leaned forward, his hand between you both. “No, sweetheart. No. It’s not supposed to hurt.”

You nodded to yourself and blinked hard - you’d known that. You just needed somebody to tell you.

“Is someone hurting you?” he asked in concern.

You shook your head vehemently and smiled at him, paying for the test and thanking him for his help. You didn’t feel like you were the one controlling your hands as you walked out, slipping the test into your bra. Your hoodie covered the lump of the box but you still hurried upstairs to your bathroom.

You sat on the toilet with your head in your hands, counting the three minutes like a child. 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4. When you reached 180 you kept going, until you’d counted to 300, 500. You pressed your fingers into your closed eyes until they hurt and your vision was blobs of black and turned to the test feeling suddenly angry.

“You better be negative,” you said, furious. “Be fucking negative.”

You turned the test over and felt instant relief - one pink line. Clear as day, bright pink on white. You threw your head up and laughed in relief, checking again.

There… faintly, the second pink line was developed. Your head fell back into your hands. Yeah, you’d fucked up royally.

-

That night you thought about the boy at the pharmacy. He was tall, handsome, but importantly he was kind, soft. The way he’d seemed scared for you, the compassion he’d had for a total stranger, and the way he’d said sweetheart like the word was made of stained glass, that if he said it wrong it would’ve cracked apart, had you making a decision - there was nobody else in the world who could know what had happened to you. You suspected he wouldn’t mind giving you advice on what to do.

You tried to look pleasant. Your rolling stomach, still the same as before despite the chemical reactions taking place inside, had you shifting uneasily from foot to foot.

The bell on the door tinkled as you came in. The pharmacist boy didn’t notice, enraptured in his friend, who sat on the counter kicking his legs like a child. He was laughing, a cigarette between his fingers. Lucy couldn’t have been here.

You didn’t bother pretending you were here for anything, instead walking up to the corner unabashedly (outwardly) and cleared your throat softly. “Hi,” you said.

“Hi,” the smoking boy said.

“Sirius,” the pharmacist boy scolded.

“Can I - I’m really sorry. Could I talk to you about something?”

“Sure, no problem. Fuck off,” he added the second part much more quietly to his friend.

The friend’s laugh was roaring. He winked at you on the way out. The pharmacist boy cringed, “I’m sorry about him.”

You put your hands down flat on the auburn wood between you both. “That’s okay.”

“What did you want to talk about?”

You looked at him wearily, trying to gauge if you could trust him with this.

“Complete confidentiality. Can’t even tell my boss.”

You nodded quickly, “Right,” you said.

When you failed to keep talking he frowned. “Do you want to sit down?” he asked, gesturing his flat palm at the three chairs in the tiny waiting area.

“I won’t get you in trouble?” you asked him.

“No, no. Lucy loves me.”

You found yourself sat facing him, an empty foam padded chair between you both. “I - have to admit, I’m not sure you owe me discretion with this, because it’s hardly related to the pharmacy. Or medication. Or anything. I just didn’t know who to ask, and-“

He leaned forward a tiny bit, and you took it as a cue to stop talking. “It’s encouraged that people come to us with health questions that aren’t an emergency. Is it an emergency?”

You frowned. “No.”

“Then this is a great place for you to come.”

You pinched the fabric of your skirt between your fingers and covered your knees. “The test was positive. I don’t know what to do.”

You’d both know this was going to be the topic of conversation as soon as you’d walked in. He had the kindness not to act surprised. “The first thing you should do is make a doctor’s appointment, they can give you lots of choices, check how you’re doing,” he said gently. Then, hesitantly, “Are you alright?”

You felt again as though you could burst into tears. “I’m fine.”

“Last time,” he sat up in the chair, voice quiet despite the emptiness of the room, “you remember what you asked me? How are you now?”

You could feel your cheeks growing warm. It felt so strange to tell somebody who didn’t know you these things. “I’m fine.”

“Forgive me for asking, but did you use protection?”

You winced.

“No, I know, I’m so stupid. What could I have expected, right?” you said rapidly.

His face was comforting. “You’re not stupid, okay?” he was speaking to you so softly, you couldn't bear it, looking down at your lap. “I only ask because after stuff like this, it’s best to go to the clinic and make sure nobody gave you anything, right?”

The overwhelmed feeling was building. You hadn’t thought about that, too caught up in the whole being pregnant scenario, and the realisation was like being kicked in the stomach. You spread your hands against your abdomen. “Right,” you agreed with him.

He got to his feet and weaved around the counter to shuffle through leaflets. He picked up a few and came to sit with you again, spreading the first one out in his hands. “This is the sex clinic near us. You can call this number and make an appointment, or you can walk in and sometimes they can see you straight away.”

He tucked it underneath his hand and showed you the next leaflet. “This is the number for the local midwife - she can answer any questions you have about being pregnant,” he looked up at you and smiled, “she might know more than me about it.”

There was another leaflet on what to expect in the first trimester underneath it.

“And uh,” he showed you the last leaflet. “This is for you. You want me to go through it with you?”

You nodded uselessly, eyes scanning the cover. Abortion: Your questions answered.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” he began, without opening the leaflet, “if you want to have an abortion or you want to have a baby, the choice is yours. It’s completely legal to have one and you won’t have to tell anyone about it, and like me the doctor can't tell a soul about it.”

He inched closer again to show you the page. You caught it between your index finger and your thumb. “It might hurt, but it’s completely safe.”

You nodded. He passed you the collection of leaflets and you held them in your hands, unseeing.

“Are you okay?”

You blinked, a tear falling from your eye. You wiped it away quickly. “I’m fine.”

“I’m sorry, I know it’s scary. But you have a lot of choices.”

“I think that’s the part that scares me,” you admitted, laughing wetly.

“My friend had a baby when she was young,” he said, likely trying to distract you. You wanted to be distracted, so you asked, “Was she scared?”

“So scared. I couldn’t believe it. She’s the smartest person I’ve ever met, and seeing her with no clue as to what direction to go in was startling.”

You wiped your face again.

“She didn’t want to have a baby?”

“She did. Her and James were thrilled straight away, truly. But she was still terrified… These things aren’t cut so clean, and it’s alright that you’re overwhelmed. It’s a really scary thing to happen.”

You knew it wasn’t a baby yet, but it could be. It’s been almost a month since you’d gone to that pub with misguided intentions, a week since you’d found out you were pregnant. You’d spent the days paralysed by what would happen but you’d also let yourself wonder, just a little, about what a baby would be like. Would it be loving and cuddly and charming? Would it burst your eardrums with its cries? Would it look like you? Would it be funny, and smart, and beautiful?

Maybe you wouldn’t feel so lonely anymore.

You breathed out.

“You don’t have to decide straight away,” he said, alarmed by your fresh wave of tears.

“Yeah.”

“It’ll be alright,” he tried again.

“I’m sorry. You’re the first person I’ve talked to about this. I’m sorry for crying.”

“It’s more than okay. I wish you wouldn’t, though. You’re much too pretty.”

You knew he was being nice for the sake of cheering you up: you had snot on your face. You pinched your nose and giggled despite yourself.

“Go to the clinic, make sure you’re good. They can give you some better advice than I did.”

“No, your advice was great,” you assured him, thinking much too hard about what was to come.

-

The next time you saw the pharmacist boy it was late, and you’d finally made a decision. You’d spent two weeks after that day at the pharmacist thinking about him and thinking about your situation. You went to the sex clinic and got the all clear, luckily, and then got your bloods taken to confirm you were definitely pregnant, which you were. You’d gone home and hidden away for a week, calling off work. You struggled to do your chores. Only when your mother had put you down for resting had you looked at her, really looked at her, and thought, I’m going to be a better mother than you. My daughter will never feel guilty for lying in bed after a long day. She won’t have to cook dinner for herself as soon as she learns how the oven works. She won’t have to cry herself to sleep, or ask strangers at the pharmacy what to do about her pregnancy. She won’t ever be alone like me.

You’d put your shoes and coat on, determined. The pharmacy would shut soon, half an hour if you were lucky and fifteen minutes if Lucy was in a bad mood.

The walk wasn’t far, you lived conveniently close to your town centre. Your legs burned as you traversed the steep hill leading to the pharmacy, and it made you think of how it would only get worse from here. The thought didn’t scare you, you realised. You were looking to it with an ironic sense of chagrin. Like, what can you do?

First things first, prenatal multivitamins. If you were going to do this, you were going to do it so well that nobody could doubt you. The pharmacist boy was there like usual. You smiled and made a beeline for him at the counter. “Lucy isn’t here, right?” you asked.

He put his fingers to lips. “She’s in the back,” he whispered.

“Oh,” you whispered back.

“How are you feeling?”

“Good. I’m still pregnant, if that's what you’re asking,” you said this even quieter than the last, weary of Lucy, who didn’t respect patient confidentiality if it meant being the centre of attention, overhearing and telling your mother, who she knew well.

He laughed. The sound was like jade, shining and shot through with silver. “That’s not what I meant, but that’s great. If that’s what you want?”

You bit your lip. “I think so. I’m here for prenatals.”

He grinned. “And so responsible! They’re at the front.”

“I don’t want Lucy to see,” you confided. He nodded in understanding, eyebrows raised just slightly.

“Right…” he looked over his shoulder into the back room where Lucy was standing with her back turned, organising boxes.

“You go wait out the front and I’ll sort it,” he told you. “Quickly, before she sees you in here and tells half the town.”

You waited for him around the side, hidden from Lucy when she left. Five minutes later he emerged.

“I realised that I don’t know your name and you don’t know mine,” you said to him. He’d changed out of his polo shirt and was wearing a grey t-shirt with a coat overtop.

“You’re Y/N,” he said, pushing his hand into his coat. “I’m Remus.”

You could’ve crawled into a hole and died. “How’d you know who I am?”

He offered you the box of prenatals. They were the fancy ones, omega 3 and folic acid and all the good stuff.

“I’ve seen you around, you came in with your mother once”

“How much do I owe you?” you asked him, squeezing the box between your hands, brushing your fingertips over the Braille.

“Nothing, they’re a gift. Congratulations, sweetheart.”

“Thanks,” you murmured. He was the first person to know and perhaps he’d be the only to congratulate you.

“Remus!”

You and Remus both turned to the voice. There was a young man with glasses hanging out the window of a nice car. “Remus, are you coming? Who’s your friend?”

“Where’s Lily?” Remus called back. “You should not be driving!”

“I’m a perfectly adequate driver!”

“This is Y/N!”

“Hi, Y/N! Do you want to come for dinner?”

“James!” Remus had begun the word shouting and ended it in a shake of his head. “You don’t have to, of course.”

“Um,” your mind was blank.

“We’re having spaghetti!” James warbled.

“Oh, well I’m convinced!” you called to James. He grinned, pleased, and sat back properly in his seat. “Is it okay that I come?” you asked Remus quietly, following him across the street.

“Sure,” he said, holding the car door open behind the driver's seat, “James doesn’t bite. Often.”

“I do,” James disagreed, turning around to face you. He had pearly white teeth and thick, dark hair that framed his brown face in a rugged halo, like feathers, “I’m James.”

“Y/N.”

“Awesome,” he said, “are you Moony’s girlfriend?”

Remus cuffed his shoulder. “Fuck up.”

James didn’t show if he felt it, instead putting the car into reverse and maneuvering out of his parking space with little finesse. Remus gripped the console.

“It’s not that bad,” James smarted.

“It’s worse,” Remus said.

“Y/N doesn’t think so, do you?” James asked you.

You let them tease each other, the box of prenatal vitamins still clutched between your fingers. You were gripped with the sudden thought that they could be driving you to somewhere secluded to kill you, and then that if your daughter ever got in a car with a stranger and a boy she’d only had one proper conversation with, you’d kill her yourself.

“How’d you convince Lily to let you drive this thing?” Remus asked James. You remembered that James was the boyfriend of the girl Remus had said had a baby young, which explained the car seat and the toys in the back seat.

“I’m allowed to drive, legally. I did all the tests. She can’t really stop me.”

“I’m still not sure if you cheated or not.”

“I didn’t!”

You could feel eyes on you.

“So,” James said. “How did you meet Moons?”

“That’s me,” Remus said helpfully. “Don’t plague her, James, she met me at the pharmacy. Where else?”

James gaped at his friend. “Let her speak, good grief! You have the manners of a vagrant.”

You laughed. “I did meet him at the pharmacy.”

“When?”

“Couple weeks ago.”

“You’ve had a girlfriend for weeks and haven’t said anything?” he said, turning to Remus, wounded.

“Prongs,” Remus said. Your eyebrows creased at all these peculiar nicknames. “She isn’t my girlfriend, please. She’s a friend.”

“Well, any friend of Remus’ is a friend of mine.”

“Except Ayesha.”

James scowled. “Fuck off, Ayesha loves me.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” you said. “But I’m not his girlfriend.”

“That’s too bad for him and brilliant news for Sirius.”

Remus glared at him. James took his hands off the wheel to shrug, which had you and Remus both protesting wordlessly. “Relax, I’m such a good driver. I don’t even need to watch the roads, see, my skills are that good,” James said, covering his face. He parted his fingers to see through the gaps.

“Drive normally or I’m ringing your mother,” Remus scolded. You were gripping the seat for dear life as James did an incredibly fast turn down a driveway and stopped, in front of an incredibly lavish looking home.

There was a pale red-headed woman standing at the front door with a child in her arms, looking 4 or 5 years old, skin similarly tanned as his fathers and hair just as thick, though he didn’t have glasses. He was wiggling in her arms, cheering for his dad.

“Dad!” he called.

“Harry, my little man!” he cheered right back, rushing from the car to gather the boy in his arms. You followed Remus’ lead and got out, the door slamming shut behind you with more force than you’d meant.

“God, I’m sorry,” you apologised.

James turned with his son in his arms, a mirror of himself, and smiled graciously. “Harry, Lily, this is Remus’ friend Y/N. She’s come for dinner.”

“Spaghetti!” Harry shouted gleefully.

“Spaghetti!” James echoed.

Lily skirted around her small family to offer you a hug. “It’s nice to meet you!”

“You too,” you said.

You soon glossed over the awkwardness of meeting new people because the magnanimity and charm of their family made it impossible to feel anything except enchanted with them. They were a unit, you could feel it in everything they did, and Remus fit into it too. He picked up toys and stirred the spaghetti, even walked off to answer the phone when James was busy chatting your ear off and Lily was helping Harry wash his hands before dinner.

James set the table and insisted you sit down. “But either way,” he was saying, “it’s so fun to tease him. He’s a sensitive soul, you know?”

“I hope you’re not talking about me,” a new voice said. The boy who’d been smoking cigarettes the first time you’d gone to Remus for help was standing there, smiling at you like you were an enigma. You remembered his wink.

“Obviously about you.”

“I’m Sirius,” he said.

“I’m Y/N.”

“We’ve met before?” he asked, with the air that he knew the answer.

“Yeah, at the pharmacy.”

“The pharmacy,” he said. Everything he said was smooth and soft, though his face was earnest.

“Wine!” Lily shouted, “James, get the wine!”

“It’s nice to meet you,” you said to Sirius.

He smiled. He was easy to talk to - they all were, sitting you down at their family table like you’d been there before, like the fifth chair had always been for you. James started to pour you a drink and you had to put your hand over the cup.

“Oh, I can’t,” you said.

The silence was palpable.

“I’m pregnant, not an alcoholic,” you said awkwardly.

“Oh wow, congratulations!” Lily said, clapping her hands together. Harry laughed at his mother’s happiness and started clapping too. James was side-eyeing Remus.

The boys were having a silent conversation. Sirius shrugged. “I’m not pregnant, Prongs,” he said, thrusting his wine glass towards James.

“Congratulations,” James said too, completely ignoring his friend in favour of clapping you good-naturedly on the shoulder. You shied away.

“Only a month, so nothing to be excited for,” you deflected, blushing.

“Not Moony’s, is it?”

“That’s so fucking rude,” Remus protested, “you can’t ask her stuff like that.”

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” Sirius said, sounding not too sorry.

You curled in on yourself, poking at the spaghetti in front of you to avoid eye contact. “It’s not. It was - some guy. I didn’t know him.”

“Aren’t all guys just some guy?” Lily asked.

“You’re a misandrist,” James said, sitting down again to finish helping Harry eat his pasta.

“Are you excited?” Lily asked you.

You’d thought a lot about it. You weren’t sure if excitement was the right word, you were determined, more like, to do a good job, and to love someone. “I don’t think it’s set in yet.”

-

Something certainly started to set in when you hit the 12 week mark. You looked down one day and suddenly you had a small, almost unnoticeable distension of your tummy. Of course, you noticed, you’d spent hours over these two months pressing your hand to your stomach to try and feel something, any sign that there was more than just you in there.

And now you had it - a bump.

The morning sickness started two weeks before the bump. You were sneaky, trying not to disrupt your parents or show any signs of your pregnancy - everything was hidden. The books, the leaflets, the original test, all of them were stashed far under your bed where nobody would touch them. You’d started saving despite a rising wave of fear that it wouldn’t be enough. You wanted to move out and give your baby a loving home.

You told Remus this over dinner at his house. You’d become fast friends along with the rest of his friends, and so James had been there too. It had been perhaps the first secret you had told him - you wanted, earnestly, desperately, to be a good mother, and to do this you needed to get out of that house.

“Are they bad?” James had asked.

“What?”

“Your parents, is it bad?”

You didn’t talk for a while. Neither boy pushed the subject until you were ready.

“How did you know?” you asked finally.

“People don’t leave home unless they have to.”

And so the group of friends had helped you look for a place to live. You wouldn’t move out until you’d saved enough money, was the plan. Enough to cover 3 months rent and to start buying in preparation for the baby’s arrival, which was 6 months away. 6 months away was no time at all.

You told them this too. You were hanging around the pharmacy on your day off to keep Remus company and Sirius had had the same idea. You were sitting in Remus’ chair, his orders, your hand pressed to your swelling stomach.

“I think she’ll come too soon,” you said. Truth be told, you brought up your baby slightly too often. Sirius rolled his eyes.

“What, she’ll be premature?” he asked.

“Not too soon for her. Too soon for me.”

Remus patted your shoulder. “You’ll be fine.”

Your stomach kept growing. Your morning sickness went away mostly, though your stomach still turned whenever it wanted to. Your favourite foods tasted wrong now and you craved things you’d never tried, not to the excess of some other people, but enough that Remus would often indulge you. He’d fallen into the habit of phoning you on the days he hadn’t seen you, asking you how you were. You’d ask after his health, his chronic pain, his bouts of depression.

“I’m brilliant, Y/N, don’t worry about me. How are you?”

“You’re lying.”

“It’s been a long day. What do you want?”

“What are you talking about? Nothing.”

“You sound distracted. You’re craving something weird again, aren’t you?”

Your face glowed with the guilty pleasure of being known by another person. “I want to try pistachios. I’ve never had them, have you?”

He sounded like he was laughing over the phone. “Baby Y/L/N won’t like them, trust me.”

And yet he’d still shown up at your door an hour later with a little box of pistachios. Your parents had given you an icy silence afterwards, but it had been worth it.

You couldn’t wear tight clothes around them anymore, so you were almost always in a jumper. One you’d stolen from Remus, one you’d been gifted by Lily, and one you’d found on clearance at the supermarket. You could’ve bought yourself some maternity clothes, if you wanted to, but you dreaded the idea of spending your money on yourself instead of the baby.

During your fourth month of pregnancy, you had a really bad week. You were worn down, worried that you were affecting the baby, Remus was bed bound with pain in his upper body and feeling useless because of it.

You’d been skirting around your feelings for Remus for a while. You liked him as a friend - he was the best friend you’d ever had - and you worried you loved him. You’d been sitting on a park bench. You’d taken many initiatives to be a happier, healthier person which included long walks through scenic paths and moments of contemplation. Remus had made a habit of accompanying you after you both finished work. You sat thigh to thigh, him with a coffee, you suffering with water. You stared at his hands in jealousy.

“Not long now,” he’d said.

“I’m not even halfway.”

“It’ll go so quickly, sweetheart. You know that.”

You did know that. It just didn’t feel like it yet.

You’d talked about the sky, Lily’s new job, telemarketing, the cinema, Remus’ new medication, the super moon, the book he was reading. He’d showed you the cassette player he’d found in the charity shopped and you’d listened to the tape that had been inside, music that was sad and not the best you’d ever heard, but there was a 30 second period where you’d both looked out over the grass and the damp pathways, knees touching, when you’d felt a kick.

You’d gasped so loud and so suddenly Remus had spilled his coffee all over the ground. You apologised profusely, pressing your hand to your stomach.

“What? What?”

You’d slipped your hand under your jumper and shirt, pressing circles into your stomach until you’d felt it. Your baby was kicking. You’d looked at Remus, eyes full of joy.

You’d grabbed his hand and held it over the place where the skin was stretching. It felt weird, uncomfortable and a smidge tight, but mostly it was a confirmation. Your baby was real. She was real and kicking. Remus had looked at you like you were the most precious thing on earth and you were hard-pushed to get his hand from your tummy afterwards. So yes, maybe you loved him.

You clung to this memory on the bad days and longed to feel a kick again. She didn’t do it often yet, but Lily assured you they could get aggressive.

You visited Remus. He was on his sofa, looking as though the colour had finally returned to his cheeks.

“Feeling any better?” you asked him.

“I am,” he said. His voice was clearer than it had been in days. “How’s bump?”

“Bumpy.”

“How’s mum?”

You flopped down on his sofa next to him. “Don’t call me that.”

He let his arm come around your shoulders in an imitation of a hug. You let your head fall on his shoulder. “How are you then, sweetheart?”

You scrunched your eyes shut. “I think I’m sick. It’s dangerous for me to be sick. What if something happens?”

“You’re not sick.”

“How do you know?”

“Do you have any cold symptoms?”

“…”

“You’re not sick. You’re tired. Go sleep.”

“I can’t sleep. I can’t stop thinking about my scan.”

“That’s days away.”

“What if something’s wrong?”

“It won’t be.”

“You don’t know that,” you mumbled into his arm.

“I know it’s,” he struggled for the words, “not my place, but if you want me to go with you, I will.”

You’d gone to your first scan alone. The sonograms of her, so small, hadn’t felt real. You kept the picture in a box of crackers in your room.

“I actually wanted to ask you something.”

You looked at him and realised you’d ignored his question. “Of course I want you to come.”

He nodded, looking filled with something. “Do you… like me?” he asked.

You kept your head in his shoulder. “You know I do.”

“Right, but do you like me? Because I like you.”

“You like me?” you asked incredulously, frozen.

“I’ll take care of you,” he said, voice wilting. “I promise.”

“You don’t have to say these things, Remus. You don’t have to take care of me. I’ll be alright.”

He pushed the hair back from your face. It was strange to be having such a serious conversation in such a relaxed position. You supposed he was so tired, like you were. And you both knew that although you had your own reasons to doubt yourselves, the love was there.

“Tell me again when I’m having a good day and I’ll believe you’re not just trying to save me,” you whispered.

“I will,” he promised. “I will.”

-

You sat with Remus in the waiting room of the ultrasound, leg jumping. He didn’t mind, reading the leaflets and posters tacked on the wall aloud for you to calm you down. It wasn’t working. This was your mid-pregnancy scan, you were 21 weeks along and looked it in today’s outfit, and you were terrified.

Remus put his hand on your leg. “It’s fine.”

“It’s not fine.”

“It’s fine.”

“It is not fine!” you said angrily, your hormones getting to you for once.

“You’ll love her no matter what, won’t you?”

“Of course I will!”

“Then it’s fine. Here, have one of these,” he said, offering you a worthers from his pocket. You took it roughly and then felt bad. “Thanks,” you said apologetically, mouth full.

“You’re welcome. Try and relax,” he soothed.

Soon you were called in by a stout, grumpy woman who called Remus ‘dad’. You didn’t bother correcting her, too nervous and your bladder so full that your mind couldn’t focus. You laid out on the table, hands shaking from the nerves. Remus deftly slid his fingers between yours and held your hand to his chest. You both watched the screen in morbid trepidation, and there she was.

The ultrasound technician worked mostly in silence, taking measurements and clicking buttons you didn’t understand.

“You want to know the gender?” she asked gruffly.

Remus was halfway through a yes, please, when you said, “Is she alright?”

“She’s fine. Beautiful, really, everything in order and she’s big for her age. 93rd percentile.”

Remus brought your joined hands to his mouth to kiss your knuckles and you promptly burst into tears.

-

“I’m so happy she’s okay,” you told him later, walking down the hallways with your cold, sticky stomach hidden back under your clothes and a biscuit and a napkin in the other. Remus was leading you by the hand down the hospital from the cafeteria, where he’d just bought you your buttery biscuit. You’d been so sick with worry you hadn’t been eating properly and he was determined to get some sugar in you before you crashed. Next he was thinking he’d force feed you something hearty before he sent you to bed for the foreseeable future.

“You’ve been taking great care of her,” he complimented you, grateful that you’d allowed him to hold your hand for so long.

Remus had fancied you since the day he’d first seen you and everyday after that, even when you’d come into the pharmacy looking peaky and then the second time, when you’d cried.

He wondered if today counted as a good day for you - it must, surely? Would you accept his confession now?

All he wanted to do was lie you flat in his bed and kiss you silly, sometimes. He’d settle for holding your hand. You realised eventually that you were still gripping onto him and so you squeezed his fingers a final time and let them drop, eating your biscuit ravenously.

“How’d you know she was a girl?” he asked you. Right from the start you’d been saying ‘she’.

You put your hand right at the bottom of your abdomen. “I just knew. It never occurred to me that she wasn’t.”

“Are you going home to yours or coming to mine?” he asked.

“Can I come to your house? I want to be happy about this out loud for a while longer,” you told him, wiping your fingers clean on your napkin.

“‘Course you can.”

You got a taxi home. He felt right as rain today and would’ve enjoyed the walk, but you’d been complaining of sore feet lately, and the bus was always so crowded out of the city.

“I’ll have to move out soon,” you said in the taxi. “They’re worse than before, and I’m getting more and more obvious. I left a breastfeeding leaflet on my bedroom floor the other day and only noticed it when my dad was standing in the doorway.”

“James says his mother can put you somewhere if you have an emergency, and you know you can stay with me,” he said lightly.

“It’s hardly an emergency… yet,” you said. “Anyways, the longer I stay with them the more money I can save for baby.”

“‘For baby’?”

“What else should I say?”

“The baby?”

“Well, she’s not the only baby, she’s just mine.”

He laughed at you, eyes drifting down to your lovely round belly. The pregnancy glow that people talked about was absolutely real, Remus would testify, he would swear it in court. You were gorgeous even tired and stressed, and he couldn’t help thinking about it now as you rubbed your hand up and down your stomach. Did it make you more attractive to him, how intensely you loved the life growing inside you? Maddeningly. He’d found you beautiful before. Now, you were angelic.

“Listen,” he said, “it’s only going to get harder from here. You’re so tired sometimes, you do too much. If you move out you can rest.”

You shook your head. “I have to work anyways, I can’t rest.”

“You can’t work and play housemaid.”

“I don’t play housemaid,” you said, scowling. He regretted his words, regretted how your good mood fell away.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he said.

You huffed. The taxi pulled up outside Remus flat and he paid, holding the door open. You said thanks with little attitude so he assumed he was forgiven.

“When baby's born I’ll have to work. If I can’t handle this now I won’t manage in a few months, and I need to be able to manage.”

Remus huffed a laugh. You didn’t say much in the lift and he didn’t mind, watching you in the mirrored wall. You walked out of the lift and he opened the flat door, where you wasted no time sprawling out on his sofa, careful of your bump.

He stood in the doorway, hesitant to bring it up again.

“Do you remember what I said to you? I’ll take care of you,” he said quietly, standing just in front of the closed door.

You stared at him.

“It’s a good day, isn’t it?” he asked you.

“Remus,” you started.

“I’m not saying you would stay home and play housewife all the time, but you need to rest and I want you to. I want what’s best for you, sweetheart.”

Your hand drifted to your tummy.

“Move in with me for now. Get your own place when you can - or don’t, I don’t care. And when baby comes you can finally stay still for a bit.”

"Remus."

"It's not a misaligned need to save you, or pity or worry or whatever you're telling yourself. You said to tell you on a good day and you'd believe me, so believe me.

"And if you don't want me, that's okay too. I just want you to know you have the option.”

"Of course I want you. I don't see why you want me, is all,” you said, pushing yourself up into a sitting position. “I’m pregnant, Remus, used goods.”

“Tell me you don’t think that of yourself,” he pleaded.

You smiled at him placatingly, in a way that made him want to wrap you up in bubble wrap, before looking down at your hands. “It’s true.”

He took careful, slow steps towards you.

“Your being pregnant doesn’t make you used goods. You can have as much sex as you like and you still wouldn’t be used. You’re funny, and smart and kind and pretty; you get prettier everyday. And the way you take care of you to-“ he gestured to your stomach, “to take care of her, that makes you the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

You held your hand out. He gave you his, heart pounding, and you put it against your stomach, smiling at him softly. “Alright, Remus. I believe you.”

-

“And you’re sure it won’t hurt the baby?” Remus asked, lips pressed to yours, hand just below your chest.

“I’m positive,” you said, giggling.

“But how can you know?” he asked, looking down at your baby bump sceptically.

“Lily told me so,” you said, hands already teasing the waistband of his dark jeans. Remus pressed you down flat against his pillows in a move he knew you enjoyed, having performed it many times in the month you’d been seeing each other officially.

Your hair spread out behind your head. You looked up at him, your bright eyes shining like the setting sun, lidded and charged. He licked a stripe up your jawline to make you laugh, unbelievably pleased when you did, batting his head away gently.

His hand crept under your flowing maternity smock shirt to explore your chest, deft fingers quick to locate your perked up nipple. Your breasts were heavy, tender under his touch - he loved the catch in your breath when he pinched your skin.

“And how does Lily know?”

“She’s been pregnant.”

“She’s not telepathic.”

“Remus,” you said, tone coloured with humour. “Do you really believe you’re big enough to reach my womb?”

He pinched slightly harder. You moaned and wiggled underneath him where he sat atop your thighs. He grinned in satisfaction and took the hem of your shirt between his fingers to pull it up to your neck, exposing your tits, which bobbed up and down with your moving chest.

“You’re giving me dead legs,” you complained.

“You liar,” he accused, face screwed up in disbelief.

“Take your trousers off, won’t you? Ease the load.”

“Are you trying to seduce me?” he asked, hand pressed to his chest.

“Depends,” you said, hands coming up to cup your tits, “is it working?”

“No,” he said lovingly, kissing the skin where your chest started to rise.

You moved your hands to his hair, brushing it out of his face with featherlight movements. “It won’t hurt again, will it?” you asked tentatively, lips pressed together in concern.

“No, sweetheart. As long as you’re ready, it’ll be fine. It’ll be more than fine. And if it hurts at any point, you tell me and we’ll stop. Okay?” he told you.

“Alright,” you said, chest deflating as you relaxed. He kissed your skin again and clambered off of you to strip until he was in just his boxers, helping you out of your shirt and thick, stretchy leggings.

He’d wondered a lot in the last month how you’d look completely nude. You hadn’t brought up sex once since he’d kissed you on the sofa, and so he’d assumed you’d let him know when you were ready, until one day you’d asked him, “Do you find my body unattractive?”

He’d cleared that up straight away. You really hadn’t been ready to have intercourse yet. Instead, you’d tried lots of different things beforehand that had proved mutually pleasurable for you both.

He was blown away by the sight of you - your legs were a feat of nature, truly. He took it upon himself to kiss up the length of them, amused by your shy smile, until he was face to face with your underwear, your legs pushed up as much as you could manage so he could lie between them. His thumb found your centre, pushing up into the flesh of your clit, the bud soft and warm under his touch, and your breathing hitched. He repeated the action, drawing soothing circles in the fabric, and soon your breaths were fast and shallow.

He pushed your underwear to one side and teased the line of your slit with his fingertip, circling your dampening entrance slowly. “Have you ever done this before?”

“No,” you said quietly. He nodded, pushing the beginnings of his middle finger inside you with extreme care. He flicked his eyesight between your face and his movements. Your mouth was open. If he went any lower down your bump would get in the way and he was determined to watch your expression, so he balanced on his elbow.

You were tight around his finger. He worked slowly and added the second, encouraged by your twitching thigh. He pushed in to the knuckle and you gasped. When he looked up you’d pressed your fingers to your mouth.

“Hurts?”

“No,” you said quickly, and then flushed.

“Swear?”

“It feels nice, stop fishing.”

He grinned, he had been fishing. He scissored his fingers inside you, wetness starting to really work out of you and ease his pumping. He adored the breathy sounds that floated out of you. His fingers pushed to the hilt, Remus set about finding your g-spot, or any pleasure he could give you, curling his fingers inside you. You gasped again, covering your whole face with your hands.

“You liked that, huh, bub?” he asked, curling his fingers again. You moaned in confirmation.

Remus pushed up onto his knees to regain control of his other hand and used it to circle your clit again. You were overwhelmed at first by both sensations and quickly got used to them in tandem, whispering for Remus to go faster.

“Faster?” he repeated.

You nodded. He quirked his wrist so that every thrust of his fingers had his knuckles flat at your opening. Your self-restraint was weaning and you couldn’t stop from moaning loudly, hips bucking to meet his thrusts, cunt shiny and reddened from the repetitive force against it.

He didn’t rush, taking great pleasure in your pleasure. Although he was no stranger to you, he felt like he was learning so much from the way you trembled, the lilt in your moans when he curled just right.

You caught his wrist. “I’ll finish,” you protested.

He paused, smiling up at you. “That’s the point.”

“I want to when you’re inside me,” you said.

He groaned, feeling his aching dick twitch in his trousers at the sentiment. “It’s not pay-per-cum, you can do it again.”

You laughed so loudly your voice cracked. “What’s wrong with you? I’m begging you to fuck me and you’re a comedian now?” you said, a splitting smile on your face.

“That was hardly begging. More like gentle encouragement. You can do better.”

You shifted, lost now he wasn’t touching you. “You’re really gonna make me beg?” you asked softly.

“Yes,” he answered, prodding your clit again. You jolted at the contact and closed your eyes, knees tilting inwards.

“Remus,” you tried, voice wavering, “please. Please, will you fuck me?”

“All you had to do was ask,” he said, and then, perhaps cruelly, rubbed a tight circle into your clit until you were crying out, back tensed.

He watched your cunt contract with fascination, felt his mouth go dry. He was straining against the fabric of his trousers. His hand slipped under them with hardly a second thought,

You opened your eyes reluctantly and figured out what he was doing, stretching your hands out towards him. “Can I?” you asked. He crawled across the rumpled sheets to kneel in front of your face. You turned onto your side and took his cock into your hand, touch like silk, clumsy despite previous attempts. He didn’t care in the slightest, hand rubbing up and down your shoulder as you played with him, tracing the soft pad of your index finger in a circle around the head of his dick. You were being your lip in concentration, so he held his hand to your face and pulled your cheek with his thumb.

You looked up at him quizzically. “Hi,” you said.

“Hi, pretty,” he murmured, tilting your head back to dot kisses at your jawline. Your hand stuttered where it was moving from the attention. He covered it with his own and put you back on track. “That’s it, sweetheart.”

Your chest heaved. “Am I doing a good job?”

“The best job,” his breathing turned shallow, eyelids drifting shut, “just like that.”

He dragged your hand up his shaft until he was confident you wouldn’t stop and set both hands at the slope of your shoulders, rising up your neck to bury them at the base of your skull, fingers weaving through your hair. You leaned forward to plant a kiss on the side of his abdomen before dropping down to do the same to his dick. He held your hair back as you worked him, sucking the head of his cock in your mouth.

You swirled your tongue around it like he was a lollipop. He encouraged you forward, careful not to fuck into your throat. Your morning sickness was mostly gone nowadays but your general nausea was like a faulty fuse. You bobbed up and down on his cock so that the head distended the soft skin of your cheek until he was covered in your spit.

He pulled away. “Be careful.”

You didn’t even have the decorum to look scolded, instead laying flat on your back again. He held your head up to push another pillow underneath your neck.

He pulled you sideways so you were on a diagonal, pushing one of your legs up to rest on his thigh. He rubbed the head of his dick at your entrance. You visibly held your breath.

“What did I say earlier?”

“Uhmmm…”

“Tell me if it hurts. I’m not joking.”

You gifted him a soft upturn of your lips. “I will, silly.”

“I’ll show you silly,” he said under his breath.

He pushed into you steadily, his thumb on your cunt to pull at your entrance. The other hand was gripping your waist, holding you in place. He pushed inside you with his teeth grit, pleasure going straight to the pit of his stomach as he inched forward. Your leg you were using to keep yourself in place was shaking. He pulled it down flat to relieve the strain, the other pressed to his chest.

His pelvis pressed to yours. You mewled, your fingernails digging into his hand on your hip. “How’s that feel, sweetheart?” This was your second time having penetrative sex, and he wanted it to be better than the first. You were abstracted, gaze clouded up where it was on his face. He pulled out to push in again, this time smoother, quicker. “Feel okay?”

“It feels nice,” you said quietly.

“Only nice?”

“It feels good,” you whined, his thumb further antagonising your clit.

Remus thrusted into you, spreading your tight cunt open. He could hear in your moans that you liked the stretched feeling, and your wetness was further evidence. He pushed into you, over and over, increasing his speed as you relaxed. He was hesitant to use an exorbitant amount of force, pacing himself when he longed to hit your walls, reshape you around his hard cock.

You were pleading, saying something quietly, washed out by his thrusts.

“Speak up, baby,” he said, holding your leg to his chest, allowing his dick to drive even deeper in your dripping cunt.

“Please, Remus,” you said, reaching between you both, a look of ecstasy on your face.

“What, baby, what do you want?”

“Faster,” you moaned. Well, he was never one to deny you, careful not to lean his weight on your abdomen as he adjusted, fucking into you and pulling you down to meet him simultaneously. You were overcome by this, pressing the side of your face into the cushions, mouth open and panting. Remus fucked into you so quickly he was panting himself, barely stopping to grab your wandering hand.

Your weeping cunt was soiling the bed sheets, a translucent circle formed beneath you. He couldn’t believe how wet you were, and slowly found it difficult to find purchase on your clit with one finger. He pressed all of his fingers in your sensitive button instead and opted for quick, fast lines of movement whilst he plowed into you. A moan like a half-sob left you, your hips tensing up under his hand.

“Fuck,” you said, throwing your hips down into his cock, spearing yourself open, “oh my god, Remus.”

He pushed into the hilt and towered over you, pushing your upper leg back as much as he could, weary of your bump. From there he fucked you deeply, hitting your tender spot over and over. You could barely look at him, barely speak, a stream of curse words and compliments slipping from your mouth. He hooked your leg over his shoulder and kissed your knee cap lovingly.

“Gonna cum again, sweetheart? I know you can.”

You looked as though you might start crying, tears clinging to your eyelashes. “You’re so deep.”

“Uh-huh, so deep in my girl. You take me so well, you know? So well,” he said, punctuating the praise with another deep thrust. You clenched around his dick and he groaned, the drag of him pulling out like heaven, your second release written all over your face.

He pinched your clit spitefully between his index and middle finger and smirked when you came, your leg over his shoulder digging in hard, your cunt clenching around him so tightly he had to pull out. He watched your pretty wet entrance clench around nothing, slick dripping out, with a regretful grin, lips pressed together. Once you’d calmed down enough to open your eyes he pushed back in, hand still on your clit. You reached between you both to steal his hand away, too sensitive for the prolonged stimulation.

“So fucking hot,” he said, so turned on he was sure half the mess between you both is his own precum. His dick pushed into your still trembling cunt, his head aching and so sensitive he had to stop inside you and take a breather, kissing the crest of your stomach, the skin between your tits, and then finally, slovenly, your soft, perfect mouth.

You brought your hands up to his face to keep him there, even though it was a terribly tight squeeze, your stomachs pressed together. If he’d been any shorter it wouldn’t have worked.

After a moment he pulled back to lean his forehead on yours. You were looking at him with wide, wet eyes, so full of fondness and pleasure that he came in you without thinking, a series of short shallow thrusts that milked his cum out of him relentlessly. He gave it a few thrusts for good measure, the mixture of you both seeping out and covering his pelvis.

You were giggling, fuck-drunk and blissed, kissing the length of his arm. “Good thing I already have a bun in the oven.”

He laughed too, pressing a wet smacking kiss to the skin just in front of your ear that had you squealing in protest. “Good thing,” he agreed, the flat of his hand pressed to your stomach.

<3

hi thanks for reading! and now for tag club :3:

marauders tag list @marimorena06 @glimmering-darling-dolly @siriuslystfu @thatblackravenclaw @etneufaled @thatonecomfyjumper @lupinlust @touchdeprivedwh0re @vi0letblu3s @dracoslittlesunflower @mooncalvin @gaysnowrose @rubym13 @thatonecomfyjumper @set-myself-on-fire

tags r copy and pasted so if they arent working pls blame technology

if u want to be added or removed please let me know tysm !

The Girl We Love

Poly!Marauders x Female!Reader

A/N: Hello! Long time no see; this came to me out of nowhere, and I just wrote it off the top of my head; I hope you enjoy it! <3 P.S. I have no idea what to think about this story.

Summary: Can all of them handle loving you at the same time?

Warning: Containing cursing, soon-to-be-smut, etc... Viewer discretion is advised.

--

The boys were enjoying their summer, basking in the hot sun and the chance to go in the pool anytime they wanted. Although it was just Remus, Sirius, and James, that was all they needed. Unfortunately, Peter was in France, but 3/4 Marauders was better than none.

"James, Sirius!" Euphemia yelled as James and Sirius groaned, not wanting to go downstairs due to their laziness, "I know you boys can hear me, and I am giving you five seconds," She yelled louder as the two boys looked at each other in fear as they both lunged to the door, James pushing Sirius into the wall.

"5..4...3.." The boys had rushed downstairs before two to see their Euphemia setting the dining room, "Why is Remus the only helpful boy in this house?" Euphemia huffed as Remus set down the dishes.

James ignored her, noticing the fancy table mats she would only bring out when people came over, "Uh, Mum, what's going on?" James asked, scratching his head, confused.

"Yeah, we never use this table unless James forgot he's human instead of dog," Sirius joked as James smacked him in his stomach, earning a groan.

Euphemia sighed, "Ms. L/N and Y/N are coming for dinner," She answered, setting the plates over the tablecloths.

James's mother and your mother were best friends, practically inseparable when you all were younger. Even when they didn't see each other, James would see her writing letters to your mom.

"Why?" James asked as Euphemia glared at him, "I just mean that we haven't seen her in so long, like since we were like thirteen,"

"You mean when you all would rough house and were into wrestling and Quidditch?" Euphemia hummed.

"The good old days," Sirius added, looking up in dramatics.

"Yeah, when you would tackle her and throw mud on us all," Remus muttered.

"Um yeah?" Sirius responded, "The good old days!"

Having you over was like having another brother around when it came to James. You always loved watching Quidditch and would yell with him when your favorite team won, chest-bumping each other.

You would always dress like the Marauders, wear whatever trend they were following, and play with whatever toys seemed remarkable to them.

You all ate like absolute slobs, and Euphemia and your mother would constantly reprimand all of you, but you didn't care because if you all did it, it was incredible.

When your parents divorced and you went to France with your Father, they all hadn't realized the switch in your presence as much. They would mention you sometimes but would only give it a short conversation. They were just kids; They didn't know much until later.

"This might be nice, you know?" Sirius said, "We haven't seen Y/N in so long, and I do miss having another one of the guys in the house," Sirius wrapped his arm around James's shoulders.

"Y/N is a girl," Remus corrected.

"You know what I mean," Sirius said, sitting in his seat.

"Wonder if she still plays Quidditch," James added, sitting beside Sirius.

"Can't wait to kick her arse in it," Sirius said, putting his hands together tauntingly.

Euphemia shushed them, "Enough of this talk, they should be arriving any minute now, and I expect the most from all of you," She tsked, moving near the door.

"She's talking about you two," Remus said, smirking.

"Oh shove it, Moony, you aren't a saint," James teased.

"Yeah, we know of your unspeakable acts in the bedroom," Sirius joked, winking at Remus as he bit his tongue.

James could hear voices from the front door as you stepped into view, hugging Euphemia, and he couldn't believe what he was seeing; none of them could.

Of course, you were different; the years did you well, but your hair grew past your shoulders, not the usual bob. You were wearing a lavender dress, a step away from your tomboy outfits. From what he remembered about you, your nails were painted in your favorite color, and you no longer wore a retainer everywhere you went.

Your dress hugged your waist perfectly, and none of the Marauders were perverts, but none of them could hide the fact that they were staring at you.

You looked at them with a grin, going over to James first as he stood up from his chair like a statue, "Jamesy!" You squeaked, the childhood nickname sounding different now.

You embraced him in a tight hug, your boobs pressing against his chest as he grew flustered. You pulled back, looking at him, "I missed you so much," You excitedly said, returning for a hug.

James could feel how soft your skin was, like a rose petal coated in shea butter. He had never felt something so gentle in his entire life like it wasn't real.

Once James squeezed you back, you moved over to Sirius, giving him a tight hug. His hands stayed on your back as your lips were on his neck accidentally. Sirius was never the type to blush, but somehow, you succeeded.

Sirius could smell home when he was near you, like cinnamon and hot chocolate, like a long day of Quidditch on the grass and Euphemia giving him a cold glass of Butterbeer kind of touch.

You pulled back, giving him a smile instead of words because moving over to Remus, pecking him on the cheek, and moving to a hug, "Remsy, long time no see," You giggled, giving him a hug as he smiled, trying not to let his thoughts get to him.

Remus could feel your happiness like sunlight as if it was glowing. When he hugged you, he felt happy like never before; it made him forget every stormy night or memory.

They all could feel your presence like a lightning bolt with each embrace, and it was hard to hide when you were up against them.

Euphemia and your mother were still chatting at the door, so you decided to talk with them about their social life as much as possible.

"I missed all of you so much," You cheesily said, sitting across from them all, "Please tell me how all of you have been," You looked at Sirius first.

You had developed a slight French accent, but only people would notice if they genuinely heard you.

Both Remus and James side-eyed Sirius, who looked shellshocked, "Well, I've just been focusing on school since graduation and just been enjoying summer," He awkwardly laughed, not knowing what to say, "I made Quidditch Co-captain with James,"

Your mouth fell open, "Oh my god, I am so proud of you guys; congratulations," You said happily.

"Thank you," James and Sirius said in unison as you laughed.

"What about you, James?" You asked, looking at him.

"I've been focusing on Quidditch and maybe becoming an Auror in the future when I'm done with my Quidditch career," James responded.

"I remember you always talking about being an Auror; I'm glad you still want to do it," You responded kindly, "What about you, Remus?" You looked at him.

"I've been focusing on becoming a healer or professor since I enjoy helping others," He said as you beamed.

"Well, considering you did help me when I cut my knee on the concrete when we were ten, I would say you are perfectly trained," You joked as Remus grinned.

"What about you, Y/N? What have you been up to?" James asked.

"Well, I hope to become a journalist or a write since it is a dream, but I was going to move back to London with my boyfriend," You said as all of the boys mentally punched themselves, "But then he cheated on me so I might just be alone," You said as the boys grinned from ear to ear.

"Yes!" Sirius said as you raised an eyebrow, "Yes, what an awful thing for him to do; I am so sorry, Y/N," Sirius said.

"Agreed, he must be a bloody fool," Remus added.

"I'm glad he's out of your life," James said, "Uh because, he's a horrible person,"

"Thank you, guys; I am glad I found out before I moved with him here," You said with relief.

Your mother and Euphemia approached the table, your mother sitting next to you and Euphemia sitting across, "I apologize, Fleamont couldn't attend; he has business matters in Rome," Euphemia said in a sweet voice.

"That man always focuses on business," Your mother tsked as Euphemia smiled before your mother looked at the three boys, "Oh my, how you guys have grown," She smiled dearly.

"You don't look like a day over twenty, Ms. L/N," Sirius winked as Remus elbowed him, causing the air to fall out of his lungs.

"Why thank you, dear," Your mother said genuinely as Euphemia glared at Sirius.

"First course is ready!" Minnie said, snapping her fingers to a variety of foods. Your eyes shot in amazement at the different dishes, even some being French.

"Thank you, Minnie," Euphemia said, nodding to the elf as Minnie bowed, disappearing.

"Y/n, how have your studies been at Beaubaxtons?" Euphemia asked, grabbing some potatoes.

"Delightful," You responded, "I know that it seems like a reform school for young girls, but I actually do enjoy it there, and we always watch Quidditch, surprisingly," You said as Euphemia grinned, "I do wish we had our own team though, I would love to play,"

"I'll play with you, Y/N," James said as the table looked at him, "If you ever need a partner," He whispered, digging into his chicken.

You cheerfully looked at him, "I would love to,"

James smiled to himself as Sirius side-eyed James, "And if you ever need another partner, I am here as well," Sirius added, making James kick him from under the table.

"Thank you, Sirius, I would love that as well," You said, still smiling.

Euphemia noticed the two boys rolling her eyes, "And your mother has told me you enjoy reading; Remus might know a thing or two about that," She said.

"I've needed a reading partner. The girls at Beaubaxton read, but they don't have much variety," You chuckled.

"Well, I can assure you that I do," Remus jokingly said as both James and Sirius glared at him, causing Remus to clear his throat.

"That's great! Considering I will be staying here, that sounds incredible," You said as James nearly spit out his dragon fruit juice.

"The cat seems out of the bag," Your mother said, eating another piece of meat.

"Oh, I apologize; you hadn't told them?" You said, looking at Euphemia.

"Not yet," Euphemia said with a slight smile, "Y/N and her mother will be staying with us for the summer,"

They all felt like they were in a dream that felt like reality; Sirius was close to pinching himself.

If they were thirteen again, they probably would've considered this a chance to have another Peter around, but now, it was entirely different.

You were sweet, still enjoyed Quidditch, and read while being entirely yourself.

You were like a dream.

"Trust me, they are all excited," Euphemia told you as the boys snapped out of the trance.

"That sounds amazi-" Remus started.

"I am so glad-" Sirius beginning.

"I can't wait to-"

They all said simultaneously, making you giggle, "I am excited too."

From then on, the conversations were light with laughs and banter, moving through the courses until Euphemia decided that all the kids needed to go to bed, to which James and Sirius protested.

They were all instructed to guide you to your room, to which you followed them up the stairs until they led you to a room with lavender walls and blue and white bedding.

You stopped them at the door, grinning ear to ear at the room, "Thank you all for leading me to my room," You said as they all said you were welcome at the same time.

You giggled, "I missed you guys so much," You said, hugging all of their tall figures with a kiss on each of their cheeks, "Goodnight, I will see you tomorrow,"

They all stuttered a goodnight as you closed the door.

And the Marauders didn't know they could ever want something so wrong.

part one: willow tree | remus lupin

GIF by kenstaroyco

part one: when love comes knockin’

pairing/au: marauders era, remus lupin x reader

summary: you've loved your best friend for as long as you can remember and loving someone who doesn't love you back hurts. a lot.

warnings: angst, unrequited love, sadness, fluff, friends to lovers, childhood best friends to lovers. no use of y/n.

wc: 4.3k

a/n: here’s the very first chapter, let’s hope and pray you guys like it. sadly you might not get the next chapter for a while, so sorry about that. set in their fifth year at hogwarts

alexa play right where you left me by taylor swift

series masterlist main masterlist

————————————————————————

You don’t really know when it happened. Falling in love with Remus Lupin.

You’ve loved him for as long as you can remember. You loved him when you were seven years old and he pushed you over in the sandpit. You loved him when he told you his secret the night before you both set off to go to Hogwarts. And you knew you loved him when he snuck you out of your dorm room during your fifth year to tell you about his first kiss.

You didn’t even realise you felt that way about him until you were outside, under the willow tree by your dorm in the middle of the night when he told you about his first date. You remember how dry your mouth was and how your heart felt as if it was about to beat right outside of your chest. You smiled and nodded as he told you about the girl. This new, amazing girl who he had met in his potions class.

And you definitely remembered how you’d cried yourself to sleep once you’d gone back inside.

It wasn’t his fault, how could he have known about your feelings when you yourself didn’t even know about them.

***

Once you’d realised your affections for the boy you’d inadvertently started to avoid him. Taking the longer routes to get to lessons just to not to have to see him in the corridors. Not turning up for lunch in the Gryffindor common room, spending break time in the toilets.

You hadn’t even realised you had been doing this when he corned you in the library as you were packing up your things, ready for your next lesson. His cheeks were flushed like he’d rushed to the library and the curls on his head were unruly, as if he’d been running his hands through it.

“Listen I know why you’re avoiding me - ”

You froze, your hand shaking as you picked up the last pencil that remained on the desk.

“I’m not avoiding you Remus.”

“You are - don’t pretend like you’re not. I didn’t realise why you were until Sirius mentioned how close we were.”

“Remus- ”

You tried to respond, attempting to leave the conversation, you didn’t know if you could handle speaking about your feelings then and there in the middle of the library.

He cut you off, not letting you speak. Which in hindsight was probably the best thing he could’ve done as with the way it was going you probably would have avoided him for the next three years.

“You’re my best friend. I should’ve told you about the date when I got asked. We tell each other everything and this just slipped my mind, I just got excited and told Sirius and James first.”

He paused to take a breath before continuing.

“And you’ve been avoiding me this past week since I’d told you and I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out what I’d done. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you, I will next time anything happens.”

He thought you were mad that he didn’t tell you about his date.

You blinked at him speechless.

“That was it right? That was why you were mad?”

He looked at you with his brown eyes, his eyebrows furrowed and a little crinkle by his eye.

You opened your mouth to speak, closing it when nothing came out.

He said your name again, his face contorting into a frown.

You found your head nodding up and down before you could realise what you were saying.

“Y-yes. Yes. That’s why.”

You stuttered and his face softened. He grabbed your shaking hand.

“I’m sorry. We don’t keep things from each other. I won’t do it again, yeah?”

“Yeah.” You spoke monotonously, and looked towards your bag, you needed to get out of here and fast. “I have a lesson now, I can’t be late.”

“Hey, hey. Look at me. We’re good right? You’re my best friend, can’t have you being mad at me.” He asked again with a weary voice, whilst tugging onto the hand he was still holding.

Best friend.

Platonic.

You turned and looked at him.

“Yeah moony, we’re good.” Lie. “Don’t worry about it.” Lie.

He suddenly pulled you into a bear hug, his arms around your middle. His face was in the crook of your neck, his nose trailing across your warm skin. You didn’t know what to do with your arms but after a moment of hesitation you weaved them together behind his back.

“Oh thank god, I hate it when you’re angry at me.” He chuckled his breath tickling my neck.

“I hate it too.” I said meekly. After a moment he squeezed you tightly and stepped away, a smile adorning his face.

He was beautiful, his curly hair and strong jaw giving him a boyishly handsome look. My eyes darted to the freckles on his cheeks. Did he always have freckles there?

“What class do you have next, do you want me to walk you there?” He asked.

“Herbology. It’s alright though, I’m sat with Sirius so it’s not too boring.” You teased trying to sound normal, whilst zipping up your bag. You slung it over your shoulder and walked backwards to the exit whilst facing Remus and gave him a bright smile.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll be fine. I’m pretty sure I can make it there in one piece, and I’ll see you at lunch anyways.”

Once you’d passed through the door and heard a vague goodbye that you were sure that was from him, you turned around and the smile dropped from your face. How had you never seen it before, how had you never realised your feelings for the boy.

***

The problem with growing up with someone is that you know everything about that person. You used to think that being best friends with Remus since you were both six years old was special, that no one could ever share the same bond that you did.

It was however this same bond that made you want to repeatedly slam your face into a brick wall. Everywhere you went there he was. Every time he touched you could feel your ears go warm and your words would get caught in your throat.

You started reading into everything that he did. If someone puts his arm around your shoulder regularly or places a hand on your knee whilst he talks, does it mean anything? Is offering to carry your bag and books whilst he walks you to lessons a normal thing that normal best friends do?

But this was normal for you. Growing up with someone allowed for you to be comfortable enough to do these things. It doesn’t mean anything.

This bond also made it very difficult to hide things from each other and every time he talked about another girl, a bit of your heart chipped away.

But it was Remus, just Remus. He would rather stay inside and read, or come to your dorm and watch a movie. He didn’t play quidditch and he certainly didn’t go on dates and kiss random girls. But ever since he had become friends with ‘padfoot’, ‘prongs’ and ‘wormtail’ things had changed.

He had changed.

Not in a bad way, he’d become more confident in him self, less skittish and less afraid of letting people in. He was growing up and making friends and it felt as if he was leaving me behind.

When he told you that his friends had found out about him being a werewolf, he was calm. He trusted them. You now weren’t the only person he confided in, he was moving on in life and you felt as if you were stood there stuck in a childhood illusion.

His regular visits during the night of a full moon stopped, becoming rare occurrences and the first aid kit that you had once used so often stayed under your bed and was beginning to collect dust.

You never brought it up though, never wanting to make it awkward. The thought of him explaining to you that he’d rather go to his new friends rather than you made shivers go down your spine. So you let it go, you never mentioned it. If it meant you could avoid that conversation, you would let it go.

It had now been three months since the marauders had found out about him and nearly four months since you had realised you had feelings for him. He had stopped visiting, instead of coming to you he went to his friends and they looked after him. It was that night when you cried yourself to sleep when you realised how truly deep your feelings ran. What you initially thought was a little crush that you could easily grow out of was something entirely different. Something entirely different that was starting to feel like love.

When you awoke that next morning to the faint sound of rain on the window, you looked outside and as you expected the willow tree had rain dripping off of its leaves, falling to the ground.

Ironic.

***

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t miss smarty pants.”

A body slumped into the seat next to you. You slotted a finger into the seam of the pages of the book you were reading and looked over. Sirius gave you a crooked grin whilst his back leant against the table and his legs were sprawled out in-front of him.

“Leave her alone padfoot.” You heard a voice say before you felt a warm body settle on your other side. You looked up and realised that Remus and his friends had come to join you in the great hall. Peter and James were sat opposite you, Remus on your left and Sirius on your right.

“Why, sad you got a C?” You teased.

“Professor Sprout hates me that’s why. You know me, I’m a model student. I love plants and those little mushroom things.” His eyebrows were raised with a smirk on his face.

You heard a snort from James. “Oh get off it. You - a model student. I’d love to see it.”

The boys snickered whilst Sirius pouted at you. You could certainly see what girls saw in him. Where Remus was boyishly good looking, Sirius had strong features, his dark eyes darted around your face. He was ruggedly handsome and he knew it.

He spun in his seat and sat facing the table. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, herbology is my passion.”

This was when you finally heard Remus’ deep voice speak out next to you as he reached over to steal a chip from your plate of food. “No need to be jealous. She’s way smarter than you.”

You could feel the tips of your ears warm up as he defended you. The dark headed boy to your right turned and looked at Remus with with a smirk. He stared for a moment longer before shaking his head and joining the other two boys’ conversation.

“It’s true, I am smarter than him.” You turned to look at him.

“There was never any doubt about it.” He smiled.

You could feel your cheeks heating up again as he looked at you so you averted your gaze to your book and focused on the way your nail was scraping again the spine.

God how were you supposed to not feel this way if he smiled at you like that. He had to stop smiling at you like that.

He lifted his hand and brushed a piece of hair behind your ear. It was a natural thing, he’d done it many times before, it just never meant anything more until now. He asked you about the book you were reading.

“It’s about muggle history. You know us, we’re all greedy, power hungry freaks.” You were referring to the fact that you were both muggle born, well he was only half.

He laughed loudly, opening his mouth to respond.

“Hey moony, turn around. It’s your little girlfriend, you going to go say hi?” James voiced loudly interrupting your conversation. He nodded behind us to where Violet Murphy stood.

It was the girl Remus had kissed. She had long black hair with dark blue eyes; you had potions with her in fourth year, she was a great girl. It was no doubt that she was amazing, you could understand why he went for her.

His face went red and you could feel his awkwardness emanating off of him.

Sirius whistled loudly before reaching behind you and patting him on the arm.

“Come on moony, you’ve got to go say hi to your girl.” The group of boys cheered as he stuttered, obviously not used to his kind of attention.

“I don’t know, do I go-”

“Of course you go. Go, get up. Now. Go.”

James and Peter leaned forward from their side of the table and gave him a shove that almost had him falling to the ground. Remus swung his legs over the bench and stood up.

“Cool, okay. I can do this. No big deal.” He murmured to himself before Sirius gave him another massive push forward.

You watched his back as he walked off towards Violet. You couldn’t see his face but you could see hers, and she was smiling shyly when he stopped in front of her.

You turned around before you could see anything else. Your eyes began to sting and your hand shook.

You need to leave. Now.

You slammed your book shut loudly garnering the attention of the other boys, making a lame excuse of how you had to speak to a professor about a piece of homework.

Turning around you left before you could hear any of their responses and rushed away.

***

Sitting in the library by yourself became a common occurrence. As the year went on you tried to act as normal as possible, and studying in the library became the perfect excuse.

Life outside of Remus was difficult. You didn’t realise that outside of your little bubble you didn’t really have anyone. You had your dorm mates that you spoke to but they weren’t really friends, more like acquaintances and once school was finished for summer you were sure you’d never speak to them again. Shame as some of them were sweet gir-

“Hi, excuse me but do you have a pen I could borrow?” A light voice whispered. You looked up to see Lily Evans standing by your desk, a smile on her face.

“Um yes. I do yes, give me a moment.” You rummaged around in your pencil case attempting to find one in the midst of all the clutter in there. You could feel her gaze before she sat down.

“I’m sorry for bothering you, you seem busy. I’ve been waiting for someone to show up and I don’t think they will.”

You finally found a pen and handed it to her, finally meeting her eyes.

“No worries, I’m not too busy. Just sat here doing whatever really.”

Your gaze darted around her face, she really was pretty, with her deep red hair and piercing eyes. She was in the top of her classes and head prefect of your year. You could see what James saw in her. He had been fervently pursuing her for the past couple months.

“Thanks for the pen.” She stared at you for a moment, opening her mouth before closing it again. You raised your eyebrows slightly in interest.

“You know James Potter right?” Nodding you looked at her curiously.

“Sorry, it’s just I’ve seen you and your boyfriend hanging around with him and- ” Your eyes widened.

“I- what.” You gulped. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Oh I thought you and Remus Lup- never mind. It’s just that James has recently been… um” She trailed off, you could see her eyes darting around trying to find the words to ask her question.

“…been pursuing you.” Finishing her sentence you leaned back in your seat with a smile. You knew exactly what this girl had come to speak to you about.

Her face flushed red and she began to stutter.

“I- no.” You raised your brows. “Well, yes. But I’m not asking in that way. I just wanted to know what his deal was, you know since… he’s just started to… you know.”

She was a sweet girl. If she truly wasn’t interested in James like she’s been saying she wouldn’t be asking, but by lord did the two of them make you chuckle so you decided you’d leave the both of them to their own devices.

“He’s a good guy. Headstrong. Once he knows what he wants he’ll go for it - within reason of course. He’s not a major creep if your wondering. He’s kind of a loser actually once you get to know him, I mean his nickname is literally prongs.”

She furrowed her brows and you could literally see the cogs in her head turning. She shook her head before replying.

“Oh… alright. I was just wondering. I’m still not interested though. ” You gave her a knowing smile before you began to pack up your stuff. She still had your pen in her grasp, a thoughtful look on her face.

“You weren’t waiting for anyone were you?”

Excuses began to stumble out of her mouth.

“Don’t worry your secrets safe with me. I’m not going to report back to him or anything. It’s very entertaining watching you shut him down everyday, really cheers me up.” You laughed and you stood up.

She began to hand you your pen as she rose from her seat.

“Thank you, I mean it.” You placed the pen in your pocket. “We have transfiguration together next right? Did you want to come with me to grab a cup of tea before we go to McGonagall’s class?”

You figured you had to branch out sometime. Staying in Remus’ shadow wasn’t an option forever and you certainly couldn’t do it for the next two years.

But being mistaken for being a couple surely meant something. That the way you two behaved with each other must mean more than friendship, it was a seed of hope but sadly the image of Remus rushing away to see Violet was an image that you couldn’t get out of your head.

If he did feel something for you he wouldn’t be going on dates. So you decided it was time, you had to make friends and this was the perfect time to start.

“Yeah sure. I’d love too.”

That was the start of your friendship with Lily and it surely blossomed within the next couple of weeks. You’d never had a close girl friend and looking back you don’t think you could ever go back.

Over the next couple of months you’d began to spend more and more time with her and her friends and less time with the marauders. Not in a bad way, you obviously still hung out with them but just less. Not that you wanted to admit it they were some of your closest friends but you would never tell them that, Sirius’ ego was big enough already and you didn’t need to inflate it anymore.

It was also an excuse to not have to spend time with Remus. He would still come over from time to time and you would do your movie nights. You had most, if not all your lessons together. But it gave you some healthy distance, you no longer just orbited around him.

You didn’t dare think about him romantically, even when he fell asleep in your bed with his head in your lap after you’d put a second movie on. You definitely wouldn’t memorise all his features, the freckles on his cheeks, the mole by his lip. The little bump on the bridge of his nose and you definitely didn’t sit there every time wishing you were more than what you were.

But it didn’t mean anything. You were still friends.

Just friends.

***

Before you knew it, it was the end of the year. Your entire class had just finished your end of year exams and you and the marauders were walking out of the exam hall.

Remus’ arm was around your shoulder as you all walked out, the boys all chattering about that last transfiguration exam.

James was complaining as usual, whilst Peter was timidly trying to explain where prongs had gone wrong in the exam.

The boy pressed up to your side was loudly having a conversation with Sirius about what they were going to do to celebrate.

“We need to go big. We’re gunna be sixth years next year, practically the oldest in the school.”

“Practically.” You muttered. The arm around you gave you a tight squeeze and when you looked up at Remus he gave you an amused smile.

“Why don’t you settle down a bit padfoot. We have just finished. If you’ve failed you’re going to have to repeat.” He teased his friend.

“I haven’t failed trust me.” Sirius said cockily, sure of himself.

You both let out amused laughs and whilst the conversation still went on around you, you walked quietly along with the boys whilst reflecting about the year.

Remus and Violet’s romance didn’t last very long, the girl broke up with him about six weeks after their first date for a reason that was still a secret to all of us. His lips were sealed and no matter how much his friends pried and pried he never told them why.

Lily and James still had their ongoing… thing. We would watch him ask her out, she would say no and the same thing would happen on repeat nearly every week.

You remember the day he came bounding towards you, questioning you about your friendship with the girl. He had interrogated you for nearly two hours before your friends had found you. Though, you never got involved with the two of them, rather you sat back, observing their ‘relationship’ was humourous enough.

“What are your plans for the summer?”

You didn’t realise that all four boys were asking you a question until you were shook gently. Startled you gave a long answer.

“My family are taking us all on holiday. We’re leaving tomorrow. I’m gunna be gone the whole summer. Surprisingly, I’m actually very excited.”

Surprisingly, you were actually excited. Usually you hated summers, thought they were pointless. You went back to the muggle world to your family whilst most of your friends stayed in the wizarding world. The main reason that you hated it was that you didn’t get to see Remus, but this year that factor was something that you were very much looking forward too.

You listed all the places you were going to visit and amazingly all the boys sat patiently and listened with Peter asking the odd question here and there.

“Alright then, we need to celebrate tonight then before you go, need to see as much of you as we can before you leave for the summer. Where are we going?”

A guilty feeling overcame you when you looked up at the boy.

“Actually Remus, I’m spending tonight-”

Your name was loudly called out drawing attention to your little group from the people around you for a second before they turned around and continued their conversations.

Lily came to a stop in front of you and you didn’t even need to look at James to see the giddy look on his face. He opened his mouth to speak and without even looking at him she raised her hand and muttered “No.”

“You ready to go?”

“Go where?” You could feel his gaze on the side of your face as you cringed. You hadn’t told him yet that you were spending tonight with your other group of friends. In all fairness they did ask first but it was an unspoken tradition that you and Remus always spent this last evening together.

“Um, me and the girls are spending the night together. Marlene’s parents are away so we’re going to her house tonight.” With a weary expression you looked up at him.

There was a range of emotions on his face. Mainly you could see the confusion, you were breaking tradition. The two of you had spent the last day of school together every year since you could remember.

He knew something had been wrong this last year, of course he knew. You knew that he did, you weren’t an idiot and he definitely wasn’t either. You could always feel him watching you when you acted differently, he had never said anything though.

He was looking at you that same way now. Every time you thought he was going to bring it up you ran, made excuses about how you had to leave and avoided him until he had forgotten about it.

“Oh.”

You could feel Sirius’ and Lily’s eyes on you. Anytime something weird or awkward happened between the both of you, you would look up and their eyes would already be on you, they would pensively stare for a moment at you both before looking away. It was unnerving.

“Yeah. I’m so sorry, they asked and I totally forgot and said yes.”

You could see the hurt on his face and before he could open his mouth to say something, you felt a harsh tug on your arm.

Lily had pulled you to stand next to her.

“Okay! We really need to get going, the train is leaving soon.”

You didn’t know what to say, how you could smooth over this awkward situation. But before you could say anything she grabbed your hand and dragged you away, you shouted a goodbye and received waves back in return.

You really didn’t want to have this conversation but you knew Lily was going to pull it out of you one way or another.

“Okay, what the hell was that.”

***

part 2