Peter Parker - Tumblr Posts

mj: what are you doing?

peter, hanging upside down from the ceiling: trying to kiss you

mj: you’re gonna fall

peter: …

peter: just hurry up and kiss me already, i’m starting to feel lightheaded

peter: if i saw a portal, i would enter it, no questions asked

tony:

peter: what’s your biggest fear?

mj: being forgotten

peter: damn, that’s deep

peter: mine’s the kool aid man but i feel kinda stupid about that now

peter: can i bother you for a second?

tony: you're always bothering me, but go ahead

peter: i’m going to get some soup

tony: be careful not to burn yourself, it’s hot

peter: i’m not going to burn myself, i’m not a child

*five seconds later*

peter: i burned myself

peter: i made a marshmallow mr stark. see? his arms are crossed because he's mad at marshmallow peter for annoying him. you like it?

tony, choked-up: it’s fine

peter: here’s my award for the most rules broken

ned: that’s not an award, it’s an angry letter from mr. stark

peter, hanging it on his wall: well, it has the word “most” in it so i’m calling it an award!

peter: when you're trying to have a lit summer but only have three friends

ned:

ned: one friend

ned: i’m that one friend

tony: how long do you think it will take you to do this?

peter: i don’t know, probably three or four

tony: …three or four what? days? weeks? months?

peter: yeah, maybe five

tony: FIVE WHAT?

peter on his first avengers mission: what’s the signal when something goes wrong?

tony: we yell “oh shit”

peter:

peter: yeah, that will work

Them ❤️

Me whenever I see them:

am i the only one who feels uncomfortable w ppl automatically assuming every adult male in peter’s life is seen as a father figure? he had uncle ben - he doesn’t need someone else to replace him, and the assumption that he needs to have one is so heteronormative lmfao.

Me: *kisses him on the forehead* there there Bucky they can't hurt you anymore.

Bucky: but what if they do?

Me: then we'll be ready for them won't we babe, come on Loki, Sirius, Dorian,Drogo, Azazel,Janos, Ardeth,Bill,fleur, Daenerys, Diana, holtzman, Liam,Zayn, Arthur, Lestat, Maluma, Alice, jasper, caius, Peter,Dave, Justin, Dracula, Shaggy and thranduil are waiting for us.

Bucky: okay but remind me again where we're going?

Me: idk really all I know is that someone sent me a message saying to meet them in London.

Bucky: could it be him?

Me: it could be,well we'll see when we get there

Fast forward to London

Bucky: we're here... Do you guys here that sound

(TARDIS noises in the background)

(Everyone looks around)

Me: it's is him

Everyone: who???????

Just then the TARDIS appears and someone steps out.....

( the Doctor steps out of the box)

The Doctor: Hello everyone I'm the doctor.

Sirius: doctor, doctor who?

The Doctor: exactly, ah my companions ( the doctor looks at me and Bucky) wonderful to see you again I have a slight problem tho, River needs my help and she told me to get you and your friends for some reason, now that that's out of the way

( Bucky and I look at each other then to our friends)

Me: well everyone what do you say?

Everyone: yeah let's go!!!!!( They go into the TARDIS)

Me & Bucky: welp here we go again ( we go into the TARDIS and we go off to rescue River song again)

okay i already liked the shuri & peter headcanon friendship before BUT after wakanda forever it’s even better. like Cmon they’ve both lost all of their family, it’s basically ASKING for a found family trope. someone write this please and thank you or else i will be forced to write it myself

you ever get a really obscure fanfic idea like “i wanna see peter parker with a serious back injury that takes him at least a month to recover from because of that one flash episode i saw four years ago where zoom breaks his back and it completely destroys his morale” and you try to find it on ao3 and it DOESN’T EXIST

like What do i do now?? cry???

nwh gave me So Many Ideas

mcu peter has no friends or family. he's all alone. as much as i want them to fix this (ASAP, one spider boy can only take so much) imagine the POSSIBILITIES

they could introduce harry osborn like they have in the past spiderman franchises. i never talk about it but harry osborn was such a great addition to peter parker's character. the hot, brooding, sarcastic best friend who masks his intelligence, and has major daddy issues. i know ned is sort of the harry replacement in the mcu but i'm greedy so why can't we have both. i imagine they'd meet through either college courses or an internship and become quick friends. peter is in desperate need of a new support system and it could come in the form of a character that is already familiar to previous spiderman fans.

(i know that it's so unlikely that this would happen after green goblin was already introduced in the mcu as a multiversal villain but if every multiverse has a peter, every multiverse has a harry... right? it would be interesting to watch peter struggle to trust harry because his father in an alternate universe was responsible for may's death—and i stand by that whether harry ends up as a villain or an ally)

on the topic of past spiderman movies, it would also be an incredible addition to bring in some gwen stacy action too. obviously not romantically, i love petermj too much for that, but she could join a bonus friend group made up of her, harry, and peter to make up for the one he lost by the spell. also she would balance out harry's bad attitude. i imagine their dynamic would be that of james franco harry osborn, emma stone gwen stacy, and tom holland peter parker. like that would just be so *chefs kiss*

also, one of my favorite possibilities, is that they could bring back HARLEY KEENER. (oh boy am i passionate about this one) the mcu is so incredible and they hardly ever do things without a reason and they brought ty simpkins back for tony's funeral. they brought him back once, WHY NOT BRING HIM BACK AGAIN? imagine him and harley meet (or possibly room together) at a community college in new york and become instant friends. peter is so grateful because he's finally able to find someone that he can be himself with, after losing everyone else he loved and trusted. and little does he know, it's tony's other genius kid

ALSO ALSO ALSO i am in love with the idea of young avengers, correct? there will be a LOng ass post about that to come but in an ideal world, peter and kate bishop would both be part of it. imagine before all of that happens, kate and peter meet somehow (a chance encounter in a coffee shop, a shared college class, running into each other when a villain attacks new york, kate seeking peter out for a new ally—quite literally endless possibilities) and become friends. i can just picture the quips and insults they would send back and forth. just imagine peter being like that one scene in civil war where he won't shut up while fighting sam and bucky, and then kate being like that scene in hawkeye where clint is completely deaf and she keeps trying to talk to him. their combined dumbass energy is incredible and i need it to happen.

anyways thank you for coming to my ted talk, there will be way more to come. i am a little obsessed with mcu if you can't tell and i have So much to say

ok ok imagine peter’s identity gets revealed, and he’s just so sick of this shit because fucking Parker Luck and he can’t go a week without a midlife crisis

after spending so much time with tony (who is still alive because i am the queen of tony stark death erasure) he just automatically defaults to brushing it off and coping with humor. so he goes on twitter and posts his civil war video diary to the official spiderman account

twitter BLOWS UP because they have bts of the actual events that literally tore the avengers apart, and peter is just sitting on facetime with ned and mj laughing his ass off at all the replies

I understand the appeal of wanting every adult hero to instinctively adopt teenage Peter Parker, but can it really beat the hilarity of acknowledging that at 15 Peter was 5'10", unusually buff, went by a moniker with Man in it, wore a creepy full face mask, and had a tightly guarded secret identity and probably a Queens accent thick enough to have come out of a jello mold, and adult heroes reasonably responded to him by going, “Wow, this grown man is an immature asshole for no reason.”

DID THANOS JUST TOUCH MY CHILD I SWEAR TO GOD MARVEL

Me: Just a little peek in the Infinity War tag, it'll be fine, I'll be careful nothing will get spoiled...

Seconds later: