I Need All Of Them In A Concerning Way

i need all of them in a concerning way

i think we need to launch an investigation into slutty men and their slutty white shirts

A Night of Song and Laughter (Part 11)

In this Astarion gets scolded by a dwarf (naturally he hates it) and Tav and Astarion have to run from the police, because ACAB, amirite? (All Cityguards Are Beautiful) Also they really can't seem to catch a break...

There can only be one song for this: Bad Reputation - Joan Jett

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Astarion/Fem!Tav (You)

(Gif from here!)

“Are we being kicked out?”, you asked the dwarf flabbergasted. “How rude and after we played circus monkeys for you”, Astarion immediately added and clicked his tongue.

“Nay, lass, it is nah that”, the dwarf answered and doubling over again trying to get some air in his lungs. Astarion looked quizzically at him and raised a pale eyebrow. “It’s the cityguard, they’ve been asking ‘bout ye. They’re already swarming in downstairs. Don sent me to find ye, he’s tryna hold their captain off by the entrance.” You turned to Astarion with shock in your eyes – would this night never end with all its damn surprises? The vampire looked just as shocked as you.

“Now, stop starin’ at each other, get outta here, come on”, the dwarf hurried you and waved for you to follow. “Maybe we can sneak ye out while Don is talking to ‘em. Gods, I always knew it’d be a bad idea to have no back entrance.” You swallowed but quickly went to follow him. So did Astarion.

You let the dwarf go a few steps ahead so you could lean back to the vampire while walking along the corridor. “Do you think this is about you showing Miyena and Eodin… you know?”, you whispered to him. “I don’t know but I don’t intend to find out”, he answered dryly.

“Did they say why exactly they were looking for us?”, you raised your voice to ask Kirin while rushing behind him. The dwarf threw you a look over his shoulder that asked if you were an imbecile and he actually even stopped walking. “Yeah, lass, of course. I brewed ‘em a nice cuppa and then we braided each other’s beards while talking ‘bout it. NAY! Of course, they did not!” Kirin was outraged and helplessly threw his hands in the air: “I don’t know and I don’t know what ye might’ve done to deserve it and I don’t want to know. All I do know, is, that there’s gonna be trouble. If they find ye, there’s gonna be trouble and if they don’t find ye there will probably be even more. We aren’t exactly popular with the city officials so they gonna take up any excuse they can get to annoy us.” Your brows furrowed at that and Astarion asked: “Thankful as I am for it, but why exactly are you trying to sneak us out then if you could just hand us over?”

The dwarf had already reached for the handle of the door that would lead back to the gallery. He sighed defeatedly and turned around once more, putting his hands on his hips: “Come here, elf, if ye please.” Astarion surely didn’t look inclined to do anything of the sort. “I said come ‘ere, boy!”, Kirin said through gritted teeth and curled a finger at Astarion. That made the vampire cautiously step closer, on his face a mix of distrust and disgust. Kirin angrily waved him to bow down to which Astarion reacted only begrudgingly. When they were almost nose to nose, the dwarf spoke, spittle flying from his mouth and hitting Astarion who’s eye twitched murderously: “Let’s get one thing very clear, little elven lordling, or whatever ye might be. I am nah doing this for ye!“ He stuck one stubby finger towards Astarion’s face. “I’m only doing this for ye lassie here. Because. I. Don’t. Like. Ye. Pretty Boy!” H  He  

Astarion’s whole being screamed murder. You remembered a certain threat he had offered regarding the dwarf’s nicknames for him and quickly dragged him back towards you by a handful of his shirt. “Let’s just go, please”, you begged the both of them. The men stared at each other a moment longer then Kirin broke it off and waved you to go. The elf wiped his face off by rubbing his upper arm against his face, still wearing a disgusted facial expression. Then he looked at you as if asking for pity. “Knock it off, Astarion”, you simply told him and went after Kirin.

There still were plenty of people on the gallery and in the tavern as a whole. But you could quickly make out several men and women in silver armour prancing about the place. Most prominently at the entrance was the supposed captain of the group of guards in argument with Don. It wasn’t hard to make out that they were arguing quite intensely – you could hear their voices but not what they said. As the three of you were walking downstairs while trying to look inconspicuous you saw the captain wave an order to two of his men who immediately propped up their halberds towards Don’s face. The bouncer lifted his arms in defence.

You had arrived at the bottom of the stairs and Kirin motioned you to follow him, walking mostly along the walls of the big room. You tried to bypass the guests and tables and especially the guards that had spread out downstairs. While slowly but steadily passing through the crowd you noticed how Astarion swiftly picked up a cloak from behind someone’s seat and in one smooth movement threw it around his shoulders. He lifted the hood over his telltale white curls and then softly nudged you to walk between him and the wall so he could try and also hide you with the cloak.

As you came closer to the entrance you could finally make out the discussion going on between Don and the captain of the city guard. “Drop the act! Tell me where they are or watch me and my guards tear through every crevice of this shithole”, the captain just screamed at the bouncer. You were almost at the entrance through which people walked in and out of the establishment. Trying to not raise any suspicion you lowered your gaze and moved closer to Astarion – just a pair of lovers passing by.

“What damned act, I’ve been trying to tell...”, Don was just about to say as the guard crossed his arms over his armoured chest, obviously done with his opponents excuses. His eyes wandered while zoning out from the bouncer’s words… and that’s when he spotted you when you tried to sneak a cautious look. The captain’s head perked up as he saw you and he immediately raised a hand: “Hold, you there! With the red hair! I can see you you know.” You cursed under your breath and gritted your teeth. “Shit”, you heard Astarion say beside you. He stopped and immediately also dropped the hood trying to seem as honest and innocent as possible. Kirin disappeared into the crowd once more having failed his escort quest.

You opted to act surprised, looking at the guard in confused fashion and pointing a finger at yourself in a “Who? Me?” sort of way. “Yeah yeah, you, don’t look so surprised, you little dipshit. Are you Tav?” Astarion immediately hissed at him for calling you names and taking a step in front of you. But you grabbed him by his elbow and took a step forth yourself. “I don’t know, depends on who’s asking. For example, for someone calling me ‘little dipshit’ the name’s ‘kiss my goddamn arse’”, you said and smiled sickly-sweet at him. You knew that it was a terrible idea for you to piss of the city guard but you’ve just about had it for the night.

Astarion snickered softly beside you, earning him a more than displeased and with the wave of two fingers two halberds pointing at his face. The vampire rolled his eyes and mumbled something about the state of humour in this city.

The captain sauntered closer to you, you nervously already thought about how you could possibly get out of this situation. When the guard stood directly in front of you so that the silver of his breastplate shone in your face, he spoke down to you. You could see that he was human – and quite a lot taller than you, at least one head and broad-shouldered too. You also saw that only his chest was covered by plating.

“For the formalities’ sake: I am Captain Gerrit of the Third Division of the Lower City Guard. Now you know, now tell me who you are!”, he ordered. You raised your chin at him defiantly and crossing your arms not letting yourself be impressed by his display of rank. “What’s it to you, Captain Gerrit of the so and so?”, you pressed him further. Gerrit’s eyes narrowed at you, you could see that his patience with you was fading. You heard Astarion chuckle again behind you, then wince: “Ouw, keep those away from me, as far as I know, laughing still hasn’t been outlawed, yet.” “Watch it, elf”, Gerrit spat toward him then he focused on you again, angling his head. “Oh nothing really, only that I’d be taking you into custody if you happened to be that Tav”, he answered. “Because if you were that Tav, I know you’d belong to a band of thieves I’ve been looking to capture for the better part of a year.” “And who told you that?”, Astarion chimed in and stepped closer to you despite the weapons pointed at him. He curved around them and stood directly behind you and stared up at the captain who was also at least half a head taller than the rogue. “A tiefling woman with a, dare I say, severe case of resting bitch face and a whimpering man that looked like a beaten puppy? Because may I tell you they have been pestering us the whole evening and of course they’d tell y…”, Astarion went on but was interrupted by Gerrit now being very annoyed at the both of you and lifting a hand in harsh motion that even prompted the vampire to shut up. You felt your time to act was running out…

“You are indeed correct”, the captain offered from behind gritted teeth “and I also happen to know that they were also part of your little band of thieves and they are already in custody. And so are you two go…”

Time was up. With all the force you could muster you lifted your knee to kick the bastard in the balls. Gerrit simply hmpfed and was sent to his knees.

Astarion didn’t lose a moment, whirled the stolen cloak around the two other guards who were still pointing their weapons at him but could only react with shock. He had them wrapped up as if they were wearing an oversized scarf and then tugged on the ends to make their heads in their shiny helmets clank against each other. They went down as well and you both turned to fucking run.

You stumbled through the crowd, pushing people out your way, without a word agreeing to try and make it to the balcony again. You raced directly to the stairs while Astarion had to take detour to dodge the swipe of another halberd and then was blocked by another guard. But instead of trying to fight him, Astarion leapt for the table next to the guard, placed his hands flat on it and swung his legs over it in a swift athletic motion. At the staircase to the gallery another guard was just about to block your way, screaming “Stop!” at you. But he was kicked in the knee pits and also received a mug of beer over his head once it was in reach for his assailant – Kirin. “Don’t touch the lass!“, the dwarf screamed viciously as the guard fell on his face.

“Thanks”, you shouted to him passing by and racing up the steps. Even Astarion mustered a wink for the dwarf and then ran after you. You made it to the balcony without further interruption. By the noise you had heard behind you, you had precious moments until your assailants would even reach the gallery.

“The dwarf grows on me”, Astarion said breathlessly. You simply waved in agreement, trying to catch your breath. “And also”, Astarion continued, gasping for air “Tav Hammerknee strikes again, it seems.”

You didn’t even have it in you anymore to react to his audacity, so you just went to the railing to look down. “It’s a bit of a drop, but after everything… I think we can make it. Although I almost broke my neck one time trying to get down there…” Astarion walked up next to you and looked down as well: “From this height? Darling, I guess you can be happy your career as a thief is over you must’ve been terrible at it.” And with these loving parting words he climbed over the railing and let himself hang from the bottom edge of the balcony before letting go and landing elegantly in a deep crouch before standing up again.

He dusted some invisible lint off his shirt then looked up at you: “Easy.” Asshole. “I’ll have you know that the last time I was blackout drunk”, you spat back. “So barely worse than tonight.” You snorted at that and started to climb over the railing, copying his moves.

“I’ll catch you, love, don’t worry. I won’t let this be the end after everyth…” You had already let yourself drop into his open arms. The sudden impact drew all the air from his lungs, but he did safely catch you.

“Gotcha”, he whispered and slowly put you down. Then he tried to sort out the mess your hair had become. “Well, running from the city guard certainly was a first time for me.” “Aww, I love when I can be there for your first times, Astarion“, you cooed at him and pressed a kiss to his lips. He looked positively done with you.

“Let’s just go home?”, he asked you with a smile. “Let’s!”

i wanna call joon "honey" too

Make an Effort

Namjoon x Reader

Summary: When you ask Joon to be your fake boyfriend, he ends up finding out about your very real crush on him. Luckily for you, the feeling’s mutual.

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: swearing, mentions of drinking, lil suggestive, not proofread(when are they ever tho?)

A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this!

Masterlist

Requests are open

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

You and Namjoon had the kind of friendship where you’d known each other long enough that you could ask each other to do pretty much anything and you would more than likely agree. Shoulder to cry on? You’re there. Hide a body? You’ll at least consider it.

And yet, it still managed to catch Joon off guard when you came bolting over to him in the middle of the party you were both attending and latched onto his arm.

“I need you to be my boyfriend for ten minutes.” You said frantically.

“What?!” He spluttered, nearly choking on his drink.

“One of my old roomates from university is here with her husband and I fucked up and told them I had a boyfriend and now they want to meet him!” You explained quickly.

“Why would you tell them that?!” He gaped at you.

“Because I’m a fucking idiot who should not be allowed to speak after drinking tequila, now will you please help me?!” You begged.

He hesitated for a brief moment before nodding. “Fine, ten minutes.”

“Thank youuu!!” You pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before pulling him along behind you through the crowd, oblivious to the sudden flush of crimson that was coloring Joons face due to your actions. He managed to compose himself though before you reached the table where your friend was sitting with a few other people.

“Guys, you remember Namjoon, right?” You said lightly, still holding onto his hand tightly.

There was a brief flurry of greetings as Joon smiled and nodded politely, slightly relieved that he did in fact remember your friend from the early days of your friendship.

You all talked comfortably for a few minutes, Joon finding it slightly too easy to slip into the role of pretend boyfriend, enjoying the feeling of your hand in his. He couldn’t help but wonder if this would be how it felt if he actually had the nerve to confess and tell you how he felt about you.

Too soon though, the moment came to an end as you released your hold on him to go get you both more drinks.

“So, how long have you and Y/n been together?” Your friend asked, trying to make small talk.

“Not long. It’s uh, still pretty new.” He said somewhat awkwardly, glancing towards where you’d disappeared.

“You make a really cute couple.” She said. “It’s nice to see that you two got together, especially considering how Y/n used to have the biggest crush on you back in university.”

“What?” His full attention flicked back to her, suddenly very interested in this conversation. You liked him?! This was brand new information to him.

“They didn’t tell you?” She asked, surprised. “I figured that’s how you got together.”

“No, I mean I knew,” He lied quickly. “I just didn’t realize it was common knowledge.”

“Oh, it wasn’t.” She laughed, understanding. “They never actually told me, but it was pretty obvious, you know? Like, I remember when you started dating some one girl during our senior year, they wouldn’t leave the house for like a week.”

He remembered you avoiding him for a week, but you’d told him it was because you had the flu and didn’t want him to catch it.

Was that the real reason? And if so, why hadn’t you said anything?

He knew the likely answer though before he’d even finished the thought, because it was the same reason why he’d never said anything about his own feelings; you hadn’t wanted to fuck up your friendship in the event that the other person didn’t feel the same way.

The fear of potentially losing one of the most important people in his life had been more than enough to keep him from vocalizing his feelings for this long, he could imagine how it must’ve felt for you.

But now that he knew you did feel the same(or at least used to, but he was hoping it was still true), the question was how to proceed with this information.

He supposed he could just ask you point blank, but knowing you, you would likely bristle and deny it in an attempt to avoid the potential embarrassment or rejection. Something more subtle would be the better route.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by you returning with the drinks.

“What’s got you so smiley?” You asked, noticing his odd expression.

“Just hearing funny stories about you.” He said lightly, a plan beginning to form in his head as he spoke.

“Nothing too compromising, I hope.” You said, only half joking.

“Nah, just interesting.” He said, changing the subject. “Hey, You wanna grab breakfast together tomorrow?”

You looked up in surprise. “I guess. What’s the occasion?”

“Nothing, just thought it’d be fun.” He replied with a shrug.

“Okay, sure.” You nodded.

“Cool, It’s a date.” He said, biting back a grin as he caught the way your eyes flickered to him at his choice in phrasing, but said nothing.

He managed to surprise you again the next morning when you opened the front door to find him waiting with a bouquet of pink carnations.

“Morning.” He said brightly.

“What are those?” You asked, ignoring his greeting, distracted by the flowers.

“They’re for you.” He said, as if it was obvious.

“Why?” You asked, brow furrowing in confusion.

“I saw them on the way over and remembered you saying that they were one of your favorites, so I thought you’d like some.” He said, offering you the bouquet.

Hesitantly, you took them, still eyeing him curiously. “Thank you…”

“You’re welcome.” He smiled. “Now, breakfast?”

The rest of the morning passed fairly normally, though it didn’t pass your notice that Namjoon seemed to be extra attentive towards you, opening doors and pulling your chair out for you. He also refused to let you pay, even though it was technically your turn.

“I’m the one that asked you out, I should be the one to pay.” He said, quickly swiping his card.

“Don’t say it like that,” You said with an awkward laugh. “It makes it sound like we’re on a date.”

“I mean, I was your fake boyfriend last night.” He said with a smirk, making you flush slightly.

You didn’t say anything more about his behavior until later as he was walking you to your door.

“Did something happen?” You asked suddenly.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“You’re being like, really nice today.” You said, making him laugh.

“Am I not allowed to be nice to you?” He asked.

“No, you are,” You said. “I was just wondering what the reason was.”

“I just felt like it, is that okay?”

“I guess so.” You shrugged. “I’m just not used to having someone put this much effort into a ‘date’.”

“Well, I’m gonna have to change that.” He grinned, trying to quell the thrill in his chest at your referring to the outing as a date.

For the next week, his odd behavior continued, taking you on outings to the park or to dinner, buying you little gifts, texting you good morning every day, he’d even got you both little lego models to build together while you hung out at his place.

“Babe, can you pass me that piece?” He asked distractedly, the simple petname being the thing that finally made you snap, freezing for a moment as you stared at him.

“Why are you doing this?” You asked abruptly.

He glanced up in confusion. “Doing what?”

THIS!” You gestured. “The dates, the gifts, the ‘babe’? Why are you acting like there’s something between us all of a sudden? Why are you trying to get my hopes up when I know nothing will-”

Your words were silenced by his lips suddenly on yours, soft but insistent, as his hands came up to gently cradle your face. After a few seconds, he slowly pulled away, cautiously meeting your wide-eyed stare.

“Because I want there to be something between us.” He confessed. “I want you to get your hopes up. I want you to know what it feels like to have someone make an effort to show their love for you, because I do. I love you, Y/n.”

For several long seconds, you stared at him in shock, before suddenly tackling him, knocking him back against the sofa as you reconnected your lips with his.

“I love you too.” You managed to mumble in between kisses, earning a muffled chuckle from him as he returned your enthusiasm, hands fumbling to find purchase to pull you even closer, winding one arm around your waist while the other hand came up to rest on the back of your neck.

Eventually, you had to pull back for air, staring at each other with hooded eyes.

“So, does this mean I get to be your real boyfriend this time?” He joked, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath.

You let out a shaky laugh, already leaning back in. “Honey, you can be whatever you want.”

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @captainorangegoose

the way this series has me in a choke hold

A Night of Song and Laughter (Part 8)

ATTENTION: There is some SMUT in this chapter, because Tav gets a little touchy and Astarion just pours oil into the flames - only lightly smutty though, because I like to be a pain in your ass, hihi. There will be more smut in future parts that I will still have to write but let it slowly burn for now - I know you want it.

Also this is the last part leading up to my main idea for this story - the plot point I actually thought about when I started writing this and thought it'd be like a few thousand words adventure.

Btw, did part 7 yesterday go through okay? I felt like it didn't really show up for some time when I posted, eh. Anyways, if you missed it, it's on my blog of course.

A bit more is already up on AO3!

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Astarion/Fem!Tav (You)

(Gif from here!)

You kept on drinking and talking. Teasing each other, pouring more shots. It really did feel like one of the memorable evenings you thought about when you first told Astarion about this place. The main act had started to play downstairs: a band of elves – a rarity in itself, but they were practically celebrities as Lira explained: a male drow bard with long sleek black hair playing the lute and singing with a dark and somber voice that had men and women in the audience swooning, a female wood elf bard with a violin with green skin and equally sleek but powdery-pink hair and the voice of an angel and three more equally beautiful elven musicians. All were precariously clothed, leaving little to none to imagination. Since they had started playing the mood in the tavern had dangerously shifted from drinking and laughing to people of all genders and races and combinations dancing and kissing and stealing touches they thought nobody would see.

With half the bottle gone you could certainly start to feel the alcohol doing its work: you felt pleasantly buzzed, also giggling more and batting your eyelashes more at Astarion - which might’ve been caused by the amount of drinks you’ve had or the seductive, pleasant music… or maybe it was just your fatal attraction to him and his very much encouraging and looks and touches.

While Daegin had been complaining about the last time he had visited his family for the better part of an hour, you started to get a little handsy with Astarion. Which prompted him to grab hold of your roaming hands. “Do you mind, darling?”, he whispered to you with a smile and pulling both of your hands to put them over his heart. You blushed shamefully, immediately worrying if you’d made him uncomfortable. You quietly voiced your concern to him and apologized for your indecent behaviour while Daegin complained loudly about his second cousin's awful wife.

The vampire laughed softly and lifted your hands to his lips to plant a gentle kiss onto them. “No worries, darling, if you’d ever really do something to make me uncomfortable, I promise, I wouldn’t hesitate to call you out on it.” He pressed another kiss onto your fingers. “I love when you show how much I am yours and that you can’t keep your hands off me, my heart, but maybe just for tonight, keep your hands out of my pants while we have an audience, alright?” You nodded but still felt a little bit ashamed of yourself, so you buried your face in his shirt. You mumbled something about respecting boundaries into his chest to which he pressed a kiss on the top of your head and held you for a moment. Daegin was still on about his relatives while Lira boredly dragged her shot glass around in circles by its rim and stared into nothingness.

After a few moments Astarion leaned down to whisper into your ear. “There will be no boundaries tonight though, when I’ll have you all to myself and remind you why it is that you can’t keep your paws to yourself”, he simply stated and then went back to holding you sweetly – as if he hadn’t just given you the most enticing promise you thought someone ever gave you. Very naughty thoughts started to race through your mind, prompting you to let go of Astarion and get at least a few inches between you – a much needed safety precaution. You poured yourself another shot and downed it immediately while you could feel the same pulsing sensation between your legs you’d last felt when he had you pinned against a wall only a few hours ago. The rough fabric of your linen blouse started to rub on the hardening tips of your breasts, your throat was bone-dry although you only had just drunk something. Astarion leaned on his elbows to grab the bottle of liquor and also pour himself another one while watching your face and giving you a dirty smirk. He did look like the personified sin right in this moment. Astarion’s eyes wandered to where your hardened nipples here now clearly visible through your shirt while he drank slowly. He licked his lips afterwards without stopping to stare but you saw how he rearranged his pants with his hands – only the slightest bit awkward. And when your eyes flicked down, you noticed that not only your arousal was pretty obvious right now. “I admit you make keeping boundaries pretty hard, my love”, he whispered under his breath. You stepped closer to him once more but not touching him. “Seems that’s not the only thing I make hard”, you whispered back while returning the dirty smirk he gave you moments ago and staring into his eyes confidently. His pupils diluted slightly at your words, but he held your stare without moving, positively becoming a statue.

Then you suddenly turned away from him and to the other two at the table, crossing your arms over your chest, breaking the spell. “So, what else is new?”, you asked suddenly and with a not-so-subtle note of hysteria in your voice. You had been way too close to just completely losing yourself right then and there; all because of some dirty whispers and stolen glances.

The half-elf and the dwarf, both well drunk - much more than you - had obviously been completely oblivious to the electric tension between you and the vampire – thank the Gods. Out of the corner of your eye you saw that Astarion had rolled up his sleeves and was leaning on his elbows again next to you.

“Well”, Lira drawled, now much less focused on niceties and political correctness, “have you heard that Cazador Szarr has kicked the bucket a few weeks ago? And his whole estate was looted. It’s been the talk of town for weeks.” That sobered you right up. This was the first time you heard that this had become public knowledge. It seemed Astarion and you had been well shielded in your domestic little bubble since you had parted ways with your adventurous little group and settled down in Baldur’s Gate.

You threw Astarion a concerned sideways glanced but to your surprise he seemed relaxed. Even more so, he was grinning broadly, mischief twinkling in his eyes. Daegin happily chimed in and gave you a rundown of different theories on his death: heart attack (“Nah, he was perfectly healthy, last thing I heard”, Astarion commented), poisoned by another noble family to gain his power (“Probable, but why loot his estate and why not keep his death a secret and pose as him, so much easier to take over his influence.”), tragic accident (“Unlikely, I heard he never even really left his castle.”). Astarion seemed more intrigued in adding to the gossip that you thought was clever. But hells, you would not stop him from talking shit about this fucking bastard.

“Do you want to know what I heard?”, Astarion said after Daegin had finished. He leaned towards them as if he was going to let them in on a secret. Lira, immediately intrigued, leaned over the table just as he did. Her eyes widened and her mouth opened slightly in anticipation. Even Daegin seemed immediately interested. There he went doing it again, Astarion and his damned silver tongue. You were about to join his act in whatever lie you thought he would fabricate from thin air, when he began: “I heard, he was secretly a vampire and was murdered by one of his own spawn because he’d made a deal with a devil to perform a horrific ritual that would have made him even more powerful and killed thousands of people!”

Your chin basically dropped to the floor but you were way too shocked to do anything else. Lira and Daegin mirrored your emotions perfectly albeit for different reasons. Did… did he actually just tell them the fucking truth?

The silence between the four of you kept dragging on. Astarion simply drank another shot of liquor, shrugged his shoulders and casually said: “It’s just what I heard.” You could simply blink at his nonchalance. Then Daegin broke the silence with deafening laughter, roaring and throwing his head back, slapping his thighs with his hands multiple times. Lira joined in but her laugh turned into a silly cackling chuckle that made her shoulders quake like she was losing her mind. You couldn’t join in, you were too starstruck by Astarion’s boldness. But neither was Astarion. He just threw you a defeated look that seemed to say ‘see? No one’s ever going to believe it’.

After several minutes of choking on their laughter they seemed to calm down. Lira had to wipe away tears from her eyes several times, the dwarf had started coughing horribly halfway through. When he had regained a bit of composure, he jumped off his stool, walked around the table and offered Astarion his hand – which the vampire took with a confused look. “I gotta hand it to you, elf, no one ever made me laugh that hard. Not even my own brother”, he said and shook Astarion’s hand, congratulating him.

“Tav, you really need to bring him when we go out drinking from now on”, the short man said and laughed again. This time you and Astarion joined in.

oh how i need myself a taehyung

“Begging already?” 

taehyung x reader/oc genre: fluff word count: 1.7K 

a/n: Hi lovelies! Long time no see :) I got a nightmare before christmas version of the game operation and this idea came to mind... I wrote the majority of it back in august and am now randomly deciding to post. If anyone even cares!!! I hope you all enjoy and thanks for reading :))

Thunder rumbled quietly outside as the candlelight illuminated the kitchen, and while the power outage may have helped Taehyung set the mood, you determined he had a charming ability to make any scenario feel romantic. The room was bathed in warm, flickering, golden hues, the low lighting casting shadows across Taehyung’s handsome face, revealing his features only in small glimpses as he shifted around the childrens game positioned in front of you both. Your boyfriend would have been a 19th century romantic writer’s dream, his bone structure providing an air of austerity while his sweet heart doled out love onto every living thing in his vicinity. The ultimate muse. 

His freshly dyed blonde hair was too enticing for you to resist reaching out and brushing your fingers through the soft strands. He leaned into the touch, despite the tweezers reaching in for a plastic spider within Oogie Boogie’s burlap body. While out and about a couple weeks ago, you and Taehyung came across a Nightmare Before Christmas edition of the classic Operation game. Instead of collecting various bones from the man’s body, you were tasked with digging bugs and other creepy items out of the movie villain’s burlap form. 

“You’re gonna make me mess up,” Taehyung complained halfheartedly, looking up at you from underneath the gold metal rim of his glasses.Truly swoonworthy. You were seated cross-legged on top of the counter, admiring the way Taehyung’s forearms rested against the granite as he leaned over the game board. Flashing him a smile, you watched as his own lips curved upward before turning his attention back to the game. 

You were supposed to be on a date tonight, the dinner reservations made last week. When the storm, followed by the power outage, struck, Taehyung quickly adjusted. He pulled together every candle within the apartment and put them all in the kitchen, stating that “the kitchen is the most romantic room in the house”. Whether you believed that prior to his comment or not, you were now convinced. Who were you to argue with an expert in romance? People wrote great romantic novels about him, after all. 

It had been at least fifteen years since either of you had played Operation, and memory had led you both to believe the game was much more challenging than it really was. Taehyung successfully removed the spider and placed it to the side of the board, restarting his collection after two rounds of play already. Neither of you had failed an operation yet, causing for a very un-suspenseful game. 

“I remember this being a lot more difficult when I was six,” you smiled, Taehyung chuckling as he transferred the removal tool to you. Placing his palm on your knee cap, he squeezed gently before swiping his thumb along your thigh. 

His tongue poked out before grazing over his bottom lip, lingering for a moment until his mouth spread into a stunning smile. “We could make it more exciting,” he suggested flirtatiously. Pulling your eyebrows together, you watched as mischief flashed across his pretty eyes. “Every time one of us misses, we take something off.” 

“What, like strip Operation?” You snorted, massaging the roots of his hair. Taehyung wore an expression of pure excitement, eyes wide, beam wider. It was cruel, and enchanting, how he could use that innocent charm in sinful ways. “Fine,” you agreed with a smirk, pulling your hand from his hair and turning your attention to the board. Easily, you removed the bat and placed it on top of the counter, defiant in your refusal to give him what he wanted. 

Meeting Taehyung’s eyes, you found his features positioned into a disappointed pout. “Looks like your plan has been foiled,” you smiled in amusement, Taehyung taking the tweezers from you. “We literally haven’t missed—” 

You were cut off by the sound of Oogie Boogie yelling about people fishing around in his body, startling you as your eyes darted to the board to see it lit up with failure. 

“Oh, shoot,” Taehyung said teasingly, tsking at himself. In the next moment, with a smirk planted on his annoyingly pretty face, he reached for the shirt at the nape of his neck and tugged it over his head, leaving him beautifully topless. “Your turn,” he smirked teasingly, and for a moment you damn near tugged your own shirt off before you remembered there was a game in play. It wasn’t Operation that you were suddenly determined to win, but rather the game of desire versus desire that you did not want to lose. Taehyung had always been the king of self control and making him lose his composure was always the sweetest victory. It was magical, the moment he’d snap, witnessing him beg. 

Biting back your amusement, you leaned into the board and began your attempt to remove the snake that Taehyung failed to. With his eyes on your task, you snuck a glance at his shoulders just barely highlighted in the candle’s flickering. He was sturdy and broad, but somehow still delicate, and the orange flame enhanced the tan he had gotten on his recent work trips, the Spanish beaches suiting him well. His eyes lifted to meet yours, snapping you back to the game as you concealed a knowing smile at being caught staring. 

Shifting focus, you ignored his cocky chuckle. “This is one of the easiest pieces, you loser,” you teased, feigning obliviousness to his strategic loss. As you slowly pulled the piece out of the game board, Taehyung suddenly squeezed your thigh with a loud shout that purposefully made you jump in start. The tweezers hit the metal siding, sending Oogie Boogie into a fit, alerting you that you had failed the operation. 

Clutching at your chest, you huffed. “Foul play!” You complained to Taeyung as he smiled impishly at you, his tongue tucked slightly between his teeth as he celebrated his small win. Biting back your own amusement, you picked up the sheet of paper with the game rules and started studying them with fake seriousness. 

“What are you looking at?” He craned his neck, attempting to peek over at the rules. 

Pulling it out of his view, your lips lifted into a smirk. “I’m looking for what it says about your supposed lover cheating to get you naked,” you informed him, noting the scoff that escaped his lips. “Surely I get a redo or something.” 

An adorable chuckle fell from Taehyung’s soft lips, your heart squeezing at the sound. “No, I’m pretty sure a fail is a fail,” he defended his conniving ways. Shooting him a glare, he giggled a little more. “What’s it say?” He nodded at the rule sheet with a charming lift of his eyebrow. 

“Turns out strip Operation isn’t a real game,” you forced a frown. 

“I’m shocked,” he played along, his eyes widening to emphasize his acting. 

“Yeah, it says that taking your clothes off during play is an inappropriate way to enjoy this board game made for six year olds,” you cocked your head to the side, Taehyung smiling brightly at you, lifting his eyebrows playfully. 

“Really?” He smirked, his gaze glancing down your body, eyeing the oversized sweatshirt that pooled slightly at the tops of your thighs. “I think getting you out of that top is perfectly appropriate.” 

On second thought, the great romance writers of the 1800s wouldn’t have known what to do with Taehyung. You’d like to see Anne Elliot try to resist the man standing in front of you. 

“The game makers disagree,” you told him, though your hands traveled to the hem of the shirt, your fingers toying with the material. “This top?” His eyes lingered on your fingertips, anticipating your next move. His silence, the lack of a comeback, is what gave away how he barely held onto his restraint. The wick of one of the candles popped, the flame flickering across Taehyung’s face to reveal the way hunger had etched its way into his features. These moments, where you held him in the palm of your hand, made the desire to tease him burn inside your abdomen, feeling very much like need. 

Sitting up straighter, you finally lifted the fabric up your body, exposing your stomach, your chest, the flimsy lounge bra hardly concealing anything from his feasting eyes. Pulling the top over your head and setting it down on the counter beside you, your eyes found Taehyung’s as they greedily took in the newly exposed flesh. His hands quickly found purchase on your hips, his fingers cool but not cold as they settled on your sides. 

“Please tell me you’re not gonna make us go through more turns to get the rest of this off,” he pleaded, his thumbs dipping under the material of your cotton shorts. Giggling, you cocked your head in feigned thought as you rested back on your arms, your open palms supporting you against the counter. 

“Begging already?” 

Chuckling at you in disbelief, Taehyung dropped his head against your lap before turning his face to look up at you. “Peaches,” he whined, and it was the smile he wore that told you he believed himself to be a winner, whether he was the first to give in or not. His expression was desperate but knowing, aware he was about to get what he had been deprived of for longer than he would have preferred. 

“You know I’m not too proud to beg,” he whispered, the low timber of his voice making your resolve crumble to his desires. 

Smiling softly at him, Taehyung hugged his arms around your hips before placing a kiss to your thigh, tingles erupting at the spot. “In fact,” he started, only pausing to place another kiss higher up your leg, leaving a trail of anticipation in your nerve endings. “I’ll get on my knees right now.” He was cocky and teasing, but all too serious for your breath not to hitch slightly in your throat. An eager smile spread across his mouth, and you knew that this version of Taehyung, naughty and confident and divinely devoted to you, would certainly have been far too much for the 19th century authors. Eat your heart out, Mr. Darcy.

·˚ ༘ 💌 IMAGINE┊the boys thinking you’re the sweetest thing on this earth and can do no harm. namjoon has a few words to say about that.

TAGS — spit kink (mentioned), choking, reader gets (lightly) slapped, degradation, creampies, unprotected sex (duh)

WORD COUNT — 1.8 k

"Where's y/n?" Hoseok asks over the loud music as he takes a glass from the server offering everyone drinks.

Everyone's gathered for the pre-release party Hoseok's hosting. It's barely kicking off and the crowd is getting more and more wilder. Hoseok had gone to talk with his band mates when he noticed something off. You weren't there, and wherever Namjoon went you did too. It was strange.

"That's what I said." Seokjin pipes up as he takes a sip from his drink, "Is she coming later?"

"Nah." Namjoon checks his phone for any messages from you, "I left her at home because she wasn't feeling too good. Probably a stomach bug or something." He shrugs it off like nothing.

Hoseok makes a noise of agreement, "She probably been hanging out with Yoongi too much." He jokes softly, "Yoongi got a fever and couldn't make it either."

Namjoon's phone lights up and he excuses himself to take the call some place else where it isn't loud. "Hello? Baby?" He says as he ducks into the nearest hallway.

"Just calling to remind you to take it easy on the drinking. Oh and I sent a gift for Hoseok in the trunk of the car."

"I know, I know," he leans against the wall with a soft chuckle, "you feeling any better?" He smirks.

".... You're a jerk. Can't believe you," you laugh on the other side of the line, "you knew I was looking forward to Hobi's party."

Namjoon bursts out laughing as he looks behind him to see if anyone's in the hallway with him, "Nahh you were the one begging for more baby, you dug your own grave now lie in it." He lazily drawls out.

"Ugh whatever, have fun baby I'll see you when you come home. Stay safe."

"Alright, bye baby." Namjoon smiles as he hangs up and heads back. "Sorry, it was y/n. She sent a gift for you, it's in the trunk of the car you wanna come with?"

Hoseok smiles apologetically at Namjoon, "Yeah," he pats him on the shoulder and walks with the younger, "hope she feels better soon Joon."

"Nah she'll be okay Seok, she's bummed out she couldn't make it. She was looking forward to this for a week." Namjoon wraps a arm around Hoseok's shoulder as they walk out of the party together. "Told me to tell you she loves you."

"You ass," Hoseok laughs, "how the hell did you get so lucky with such a sweetheart like her? What am I doing wrong?"

Namjoon shrugs as he presses the button to the elevators, "You can start off with the shoes," he snickers, "have you been hanging out with Jungkook too much? Shit looks like you're getting ready to walk through snow or some shit."

"Fuck you." Hoseok laughs as he steps into the elevator, "They suit my outfit, you're just jealous."

"Yeah, pass on them stompers." Namjoon rolls his eyes and presses the garage.

Before the doors close Jungkook's tattooed hand comes into view as he steps in, panting like he just ran (most likely did) all the way there. Hoseok and Namjoon look at him crazy and shake their heads because that's Jungkook for you.

"I was alone," Jungkook says, "Min with his friend and Tae's talking to someone else too. Where are you guys going?"

"y/n sent a gift for me, it's in her car and Namjoon invited me to come get it with him." Hoseok says as he eyes Jungkook, "Don't drink too much if you're driving later." He warns.

They talk some more in the elevator and make their way into the garage where Namjoon parked the car. "Tell her I said thank you once again, I'll take something to your house later." Hoseok softly says as he watches Namjoon open the trunk.

"It's no big deal Hobi, you already know how she is." Namjoon smiles back and lets Hoseok look at his gift.

"I want a gift from y/n too," Jungkook whines as he stares at the big box with a black and white bow wrapping around it, " 's not fair. You get to have her all day let me hang out with her for a day."

Namjoon snorts, "What are you five?" He says as he shakes his head and leans back against the car. "Nobody, not even you Jungkook, can have my sweetheart."

Hoseok laughs, "Look at you all whipped and shit, you really lucked out with her. You got stuck with an angel." He teases as he opens his box, Jungkook cooing in amazement as he leans close to get a view at the present.

Namjoon chuckles to himself under his breath as he looks to the side, "Yeah, angel." He smirks.

+

"Mmm," your body shudders in delight when Namjoon bottoms out in one go.

You feel stuffed, your cunt is full of Namjoon's cock and slick dribbles down the sides and down your inner thighs. Namjoon has your thighs pinned back on your body as your knees bend and feet dangle in the air. He's watching the way his cock looks every time he bottoms out balls deep.

"You like that baby?" He mumbles in that deep voice of his, "Slutty pussy stuffed with my cock?" To emphasize his words he snaps his hips upward in a deep body roll that leaves your mouth watering.

You nod slowly, "Mm-hm," it comes out a little high-pitched as you reach down to stroke over your swollen clit, "can feel you so deep inside me baby.. want you to stuff me full of your cum."

Namjoon grunts softly and leans down to press gentle little kisses on your lips. "Yeah?" He whispers softly as he stares into your eyes, "What else baby? C'mon, talk to me."

You're a little shy when he stares at you like that but a sudden rush of boldness courses through you. "Sometimes–ahhn–I think about how it would feel like if you choked me," you softly admit as more moans poured from your lips, "wanna feel your big hands wrap around me and–mmm..!–squeeze." You arch your back when his cockhead brushes against your g-spot.

Namjoon's eyes darken at the words, never in a million years did he think a sweet thing like you would want him to do nasty things like this. He sets his hands on the curve of your hips and thrusts a little more forcefully, "Baby wants to get choked?" He licks his lips, "What else? Tell me everything your filthy little mind thinks of."

He fucks you faster, building rhythm as his thighs smack into your ass. "Call me your dirty slut, want you to tell me how filthy I am.." you whimper as your tits bounce in tandem with his thrusts, "spit in my mouth and call me your good girl."

Namjoon growls lowly, "Fuck.." he closes his eyes and shudders at the mere thought of fucking you like that.

You don't stop there, "Slap me Joonie, I'm all yours." You say as you pout a little and reach for his hand that is on your hip, "All yours.." you mumble and take his finger into your mouth as you suck on the digit.

He completely switches, forgetting he was just trying to hear you dirty talk. He yanks his hand away and grabs your chin roughly as he plows into you at a punishing pace, "Here I thought you were my sweet girl, turns out you’re nothing but a little whore who wants to be slapped around like one. Is that what you want baby? You want me to slap you around and spit on you like the useless cumdump you are?”

You cry out from the way his hips slap into yours, the pleasure hits you hard and it leaves you boneless on the bed. “Y..es..!”

“I can’t hear you.” Namjoon growls and lightly slaps your chin a couple times.

“Yes!” You whine and arch your back.

Namjoon suddenly pulls out as he flips you on to your front. He twists his hand in your hair and yanks it back with a strong grip. One that makes you ache pleasantly. “Lucky this pussy is so good to me, you’re nothing but a fleshlight to use. I have no need for you apart from that,” he says as he slips back and thrusts harshly. “wonder how people would react if they knew the world’s so called sweetheart liked it sloppy and nasty? I wouldn’t put it past me you if you wanted a whole audience to come and see the kind of person you are.”

He emphasizes “kind of person you are” with a set of hard thrusts that send you rocking front to back on his cock. “This what you wanted?” He rasps out.

You can’t answer, only garbled moans and whines escape your lips as you drool. “Open up,” he speaks up as he pushes two fingers past your lips.

You’re too fucked out to comprehend, eyes slipping shut as your eyes water. You choke around his fingers and reach up to grip his wrist as spit and drool runs down your chin. Muffled whimpers and moans fill the room along with sloppy slurping noises. Namjoon’s enjoying this a little too much.

“That’s right baby, get ‘em nice and wet for me.” He whispers as he rolls his hips. He’s not going to lie, this little power play you guys got going on is making his cock twitch with interest. He can feel his stomach coil in pleasure as he gets close to his orgasm.

“Fuck, you’re gonna make me cum.” Namjoon’s hips stutter and he presses deep against the curve of your soft plush ass.

His fingers slip out of your mouth and you gasp in relief. You clench tightly around his cock, causing him to cry out as his hands grip your waist tightly. “C-Cum… in me.” You whimper out and rock your hips back on to his.

Namjoon steadies you as he fucks into your sopping pussy a couple more times before he cums hard. His cock throbs deep inside of you, a long groan leaving his lips as he relaxes and loosens his hold on you. You reach below to rub your clit slowly and inch towards your sweet orgasm. It comes in slow waves, your body shudders as you close your eyes and quietly moan into the pillow.

You both stay like that for a bit, harsh panting and soft mumbles filling the room as the high comes down. You didn’t think he had it in him to be this degrading..

“Can’t walk.” You mumble.

“I can see that.” Namjoon grunts as he pats your ass, “Shit I gotta get ready.” He says when he sees the time on the clock. He knows for sure you aren’t going, by the looks of it you looked like you got the train ran on you.