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Emotions Are Difficult. When I Was Young, I Used To Cry Over Every Little Thing. Someone Yelled I Would
Emotions are difficult. When I was young, I used to cry over every little thing. Someone yelled I would cry. Someone would drop food. I would cry. Someone said something mean at school, waterfalls of tears. I reached a point probably in middle school where I just sort of stopped. No more crying to anything. I never understood what changed. Everyone in my life treated it as a good thing, and I went along with them, thinking it was great I was no longer getting bullied. One thing I have noticed lately was that all that happened was that I sort of shut people out. Yes, I wasn't crying anymore, but I also felt like I was not expressing my emotions at all anymore. Now, instead of crying, when someone yells, I go silent, look away, and just shut down. I avoid conflict at all costs to avoid feeling like I may get emotional. Again, I am not sure where I am going with this or if anyone will read my ramblings and needs to hear this, but it is okay to have feelings both good and bad. It is okay to cry and not something that needs to be seen as a negative. It's okay to feel, and I hope that anyone else does feel the way I did/do that you can find some peace someplace to actually feel your emotions.
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More Posts from Eldritchdelight99
I grew up in an aggressively Christian Low income house. Sometimes, I look back, telling myself that it wasn't so bad and that my brain exaggerates things. I spent a good two years in a house that had no insulation and was missing several walls on the inside. The door I had to my room at one point was a sheet that was held in place by thumbtacks. The house itself held a 10 year old me, a 5 year old brother of mine, a 3 year old brother of mine, and my sister, who had to be 2. Then there were the adults, my uncle, who was an alcoholic, my stepmother, who was awful to me but cared greatly for her kids, my dad who was a drug addict to the point of me finding his stashed needles in my clothes basket, my grandmother who was the only one making money and it was her unemployment as she had gotten too old to keep working as a nurse, and my grandfather ... he was the one who took me to church, among other things that I'm not quite ready to post on the internet yet. The house was a 3 bedroom 2 bath. Things sucked to put it lightly, but I still tell myself to this day that it wasn't so bad. Yes, people have it worse, and they have every right to complain .... but that does not make your complaints invalid, you know? Like people can be worse off than you, but that doesn't mean you were well off. I got lost in the sauce on this one. I don't know where I was going anymore. Something, something religious, teachings that are meant to hide trauma and convince you that things were just great when they were not, are harmful, so on so forth.
1,000 followers raffle!
Hiii thank you sososo much for 1k followers!!! I made this blog just over a month ago and I’m so happy so many people like my art!
Reblog + be following me to enter! Winner will get a pinup like these:
Raffle will be drawn on July 30th (my birthday!)
[please no blank accounts, no minors, and no raffle accounts. I’ll message the winner on the day of, and if I don’t get an answer in ~3 days another winner will be drawn!]
Good luck all!!
The first few chapters of my girls' love thriller novel are now available to read online - on your computer or handheld device, wow! - and it would be fantastic if you would consider reading, liking or subscribing! New chapters regularly!
Sunflowers Bloom In Winter is the tale of two star-crossed lovers who are stuck in one of the world's worst fantasy thriller novels. Will they be able to defy the plot and find true love? Will multiple people be violently murdered, will a tree-worshipping cult execute an evil plot, or will a priestess get beheaded? There's only one way to find out: Read new chapters every week! One thing's for sure: it's gay!
p.s. I'm participating in a contest so the view/like/subscribe metrics actually matter oh god he;lp p.p.s. illustration by the incredible @koyoriin who is a world-class artist
One more of these today just to get my thoughts out. People are allowed to be who they want. Full stop if what you do does not harm anyone else or yourself (I care way too much about people to give the okay for non kinky harm). Then do it you like people with the same parts as you great I don't care what you do in your free time. You like people with parts different than you great have a good time. You like both at the same time. Awesome, have extra fun for me. Do you like either one? Great me too! You like all types and are more into vibes of a person. Hell yeah brother thats what is up. You like neither great we can play videogames together sometimes. You don't want to be involved but like to watch people awesome as long as they know you are watching and are okay with it all cool. People can do what they want with their own dang bodies. That includes changing it if they don't like it. One thing that always bothered me was the Christian rhetoric of "God doesn't make mistakes, so you are perfect just the way you were made." Okay, let's follow that line of thought for a moment right just to play along. If God made man and woman right and made every part of every person, then he also made the people who feel like they are in the wrong bodies. Meaning that for all the bigoted folks of the church, know maybe it was God's plan to have a person go through that kind of change. I mean, look, God is meant to be a single entity and a 3 in one and also be the image that we are made in, right? So that means he would be a combination of man and woman. Otherwise, we would all be the exact same thing, so maybe just maybe some people did get the wrong body. And that's fine. I just want people to be happy. Okay, religious rant over be kind to people and let them live their lives while you live yours. Stop hurting people. Just love people like you love yourself. Or hell, if you don't love yourself, then love people the way you wish someone would love you, idk.
Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room, a rubber room. A rubber room with Rats, and Rats make me crazy.
Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me In a room, a rubber room. A rubber room with Rats, and Rats make me crazy.