Yo, Peeps! Do You Even Notice Anything In The Lecture Hall? Like, Nah? Well, Like, Duh, That Just Totally

Yo, peeps! Do you even notice anything in the lecture hall? Like, nah? Well, like, duh, that just totally proves that having chicks at the university would just be, like, such a major distraction, innit?

The Brotherhood of the Golden Thobes

Chapter 1: The Mysterious Leader

In the heart of the city, nestled between towering skyscrapers and bustling streets, lay a park that seemed untouched by time. The park was a sanctuary of peace, where the sounds of birds and rustling leaves drowned out the noise of the world beyond. This place had a certain magic about it, a stillness that allowed those who visited to reconnect with themselves and, sometimes, to discover something they hadn’t known they were missing.

Idris walked through this park every day, his presence almost as much a part of the landscape as the ancient trees that shaded the paths. Dressed in a golden thobe that shimmered in the sunlight, Idris exuded an aura of calm and authority. People often glanced at him as he passed, drawn to the warmth in his eyes and the quiet confidence in his step. Yet, despite his commanding presence, there was something approachable about him, as if he was someone you could trust without knowing why.

As Idris strolled along a winding path, he noticed two young men sitting on a bench. They were deep in conversation, their heads bent close together, oblivious to the world around them. Idris paused, observing them for a moment. There was something in their demeanor—a restlessness, a sense of searching for something just beyond their reach. Idris knew that feeling well; he had seen it many times before.

He approached them with a gentle smile, his golden thobe catching the light and reflecting it like a beacon. The two men looked up as he neared, their conversation trailing off as they took in the sight of him. There was something magnetic about Idris, something that made them feel as though they were in the presence of someone extraordinary.

“Good afternoon,” Idris greeted them warmly, his voice smooth and reassuring. “May I join you?”

The men exchanged a quick glance, their curiosity piqued. There was an unspoken agreement between them, and they nodded in unison.

“Of course,” one of them replied, gesturing to the empty space on the bench.

Idris sat down beside them, his movements graceful and deliberate. He could feel their eyes on him, filled with curiosity and a hint of something else—perhaps hope, or maybe even longing.

“My name is Idris,” he said, his voice carrying a quiet strength. “I’ve walked through this park many times, and I’ve seen many people searching for something, though they may not always know what it is. I sense that you two are among them.”

The men, who had introduced themselves as Adam and Zayd, felt a strange connection to Idris, as if he understood them on a level that few others did.

“We’ve been talking about that, actually,” Adam admitted, a slight furrow in his brow. “I mean, we’re happy enough, I guess, but it feels like something’s missing. Like there’s more to life that we haven’t figured out yet.”

Zayd nodded in agreement. “Yeah, it’s like… we’re looking for something, but we don’t even know what it is. It’s frustrating, really.”

Idris smiled, his eyes filled with understanding. “That feeling is more common than you might think. It’s the beginning of a journey—a journey that can lead to something greater if you’re willing to embrace it.”

Adam and Zayd listened intently, feeling a growing sense of anticipation. There was something about Idris’s words that resonated deeply within them, as if he was offering them a key to unlock a door they hadn’t even known existed.

“What kind of journey?” Zayd asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.

“One that will transform you,” Idris replied, his gaze steady and kind. “It’s a path that will help you discover your true selves, to find a deeper connection to the world and to each other. It’s not a journey that everyone is ready for, but I believe you are.”

The men were silent for a moment, processing what Idris had said. There was a part of them that was skeptical, that wondered if this was too good to be true. But there was another part, a stronger part, that wanted to believe, that wanted to take that leap of faith.

“How do we start this journey?” Adam finally asked, his voice filled with a mixture of excitement and apprehension.

Idris’s smile widened. “It begins with a simple choice—to let go of who you think you are and embrace who you were meant to be.”

He stood up slowly, the golden thobe shimmering with every movement. Reaching into the folds of his robe, Idris pulled out two identical thobes, their golden fabric glistening in the afternoon sun. He extended them towards Adam and Zayd, his expression gentle but expectant.

“These are not just garments,” Idris explained, his voice soft yet powerful. “They represent a commitment to a new path, one that will bring you closer to your true selves and to a brotherhood that transcends the ordinary.”

Adam and Zayd stared at the thobes, their minds racing. The fabric looked almost magical, as if it was woven from light itself. They could feel its warmth even before they touched it, a warmth that seemed to promise something more, something better.

“This is your choice,” Idris said, his eyes meeting theirs with unwavering confidence. “No one can make it for you.”

Chapter 2: The Transformation

The park was quiet as Adam and Zayd stood before Idris, each holding a golden thobe in their hands. The fabric felt both heavy and light, substantial yet ethereal, as if it was made from something not entirely of this world. They exchanged a glance, the uncertainty in their eyes slowly being replaced by determination.

“I don’t know why, but this feels right,” Adam murmured, his fingers gently brushing over the fabric. “It’s like… this is what we’ve been looking for.”

Zayd nodded, feeling a similar sense of clarity. “Yeah, it’s strange, but I think we should do this. I mean, what do we have to lose?”

With a deep breath, Adam and Zayd began to remove their casual clothes, setting them aside on the bench. As they slipped on the golden thobes, a rush of warmth spread through their bodies, a sensation that was both comforting and exhilarating. The fabric seemed to mold to their skin, fitting perfectly as if it had been made just for them.

Idris watched them with a serene smile, his heart swelling with pride as he saw the transformation begin. The golden thobes shimmered, catching the light in a way that made them glow, and as the men fully donned the garments, their appearances began to change.

Adam felt a tingling sensation in his face as his features began to sharpen, his hair darkening to a deep, rich brown. A well-groomed beard began to form on his jawline, giving him an air of wisdom and strength that he hadn’t possessed before. He looked down at his hands, watching in awe as his skin took on a warm, golden-brown hue.

Zayd experienced a similar transformation, his hair darkening and his features becoming more defined. His beard grew in thick and even, complementing the strong lines of his face. He could feel the power of the thobe as it connected him to something greater, something that filled the emptiness he had felt for so long.

The transformation wasn’t just physical—it was internal as well. Both men felt a deep sense of peace and purpose settling over them, a clarity of mind that had eluded them for years. The doubts and insecurities that had plagued them seemed to melt away, replaced by a confidence that came from knowing they were on the right path.

Idris stepped forward, placing a hand on each of their shoulders. “How do you feel?” he asked, his voice filled with genuine care.

Adam looked up, his eyes shining with new light. “I feel… incredible. Like I’ve finally found what I’ve been searching for.”

Zayd nodded in agreement, a broad smile spreading across his face. “This is amazing. I never knew I could feel this way.”

Idris’s smile deepened. “You have taken the first step on a journey that will bring you closer to your true selves and to each other. This is the beginning of a brotherhood, one that is built on trust, respect, and a shared purpose.”

Chapter 3: The Brotherhood

With their transformation complete, Adam and Zayd felt a newfound sense of unity with each other and with Idris. It was as if the golden thobes had not only changed their appearances but had also connected them on a deeper, more spiritual level. They stood together, no longer just friends, but brothers in every sense of the word.

As they walked through the park with Idris, they noticed how people turned to look at them, drawn to the light that seemed to radiate from their thobes. But this time, instead of feeling self-conscious, they felt proud. They knew that they were part of something bigger, something that had the power to change lives.

“Idris,” Adam began, turning to their leader, “what happens next? Where do we go from here?”

Idris looked at them, his expression one of gentle wisdom. “Now, we share what we have found with others. There are many who are lost, who are searching for something more, just as you were. It is our duty to guide them, to help them find their own path to transformation.”

Zayd felt a surge of excitement at the prospect. “You mean, we’re supposed to help others the way you helped us?”

Idris nodded. “Exactly. This is not a journey you take alone. It is a journey you share with those who are ready, those who are willing to embrace the light of the golden thobes.”

As they continued walking, they came across another group of men sitting on a bench. They were dressed in casual clothes, much like Adam and Zayd had been earlier, and they seemed to be deep in conversation, unaware of the world around them.

Idris smiled, recognizing the same sense of searching in their faces that he had seen in Adam and Zayd. “Shall we?” he asked, a twinkle of encouragement in his eyes.

Adam and Zayd exchanged a glance, both feeling a sense of purpose and excitement. This was their chance to give back, to help others find the same sense of peace and belonging that they had discovered.

Together, the three men approached the bench, their golden thobes catching the sunlight as they moved. The men on the bench looked up, their conversation halting as they took in the sight of the trio. There was a moment of silence, a shared understanding that something important was about to happen.

“Good afternoon,” Idris greeted them

“Good afternoon,” Idris greeted them warmly, his voice filled with the same calm authority that had first drawn Adam and Zayd to him. “May we join you?”

The men on the bench exchanged curious glances, much like Adam and Zayd had done earlier. There was something about the three figures standing before them—something that radiated peace, confidence, and a quiet power. They nodded, making room on the bench.

“Of course,” one of the men replied, unable to take his eyes off the golden thobes that shimmered in the sunlight. “Please, sit.”

Idris, Adam, and Zayd sat down, their presence immediately commanding attention. The men on the bench, who introduced themselves as Omar and Tariq, couldn’t help but feel a sense of awe. There was something magnetic about these three figures, something that made them want to listen, to learn.

“What brings you to this part of the park?” Idris asked, his tone casual but laced with deeper intent.

Omar shrugged slightly, though there was a hint of uncertainty in his eyes. “We come here often, just to talk, think things through. Lately, it feels like there’s something missing, but we can’t quite put our finger on it.”

Tariq nodded in agreement. “It’s like we’re stuck in a routine, and no matter what we do, it feels… empty, like we’re just going through the motions.”

Adam and Zayd exchanged a knowing look. They had been in the same place not long ago, sitting on a similar bench, having the same conversation. And just like Idris had done for them, they felt compelled to offer Omar and Tariq the chance to transform, to find what they were searching for.

“We know exactly how you feel,” Adam said, his voice filled with empathy. “We were in the same situation not too long ago. Then we met Idris, and everything changed.”

Tariq looked at Idris, his curiosity growing. “Changed how?”

“It’s hard to explain,” Zayd replied, “but it’s like we found something we didn’t even know we were missing. A sense of purpose, of belonging, of being part of something bigger than ourselves.”

Idris listened as Adam and Zayd spoke, proud of how far they had come in such a short time. He could see the curiosity and hope in Omar and Tariq’s eyes, the same look he had seen in countless others before them.

“I believe you’re searching for the same thing,” Idris said, his voice gentle but persuasive. “It’s a journey that starts with a choice—a choice to let go of the old and embrace the new, to find your true selves and become part of something greater.”

Omar and Tariq were silent, considering his words. There was something undeniably compelling about the offer, something that resonated with the deepest parts of their souls. They had spent so long searching, and now it seemed that the answer was right in front of them.

“And what do we have to do?” Omar finally asked, his voice tinged with both hope and apprehension.

Idris smiled, his eyes full of understanding. “It begins with embracing the light of the golden thobes. These garments are more than just clothing—they represent a commitment to a new path, one that will bring you closer to each other and to a brotherhood that transcends the ordinary.”

Reaching into the folds of his own golden thobe, Idris produced two more, identical to the ones that Adam and Zayd now wore. He handed them to Omar and Tariq, watching as they accepted the garments with reverence and curiosity.

“The choice is yours,” Idris continued. “But know that once you make it, your life will never be the same.”

Omar and Tariq exchanged a final glance, the weight of the moment pressing down on them. But as they held the golden thobes in their hands, they felt a surge of confidence, a sense of destiny that was impossible to ignore.

With a deep breath, they began to remove their casual clothes, setting them aside as Adam and Zayd had done before them. As they slipped on the golden thobes, a wave of warmth and light washed over them, filling them with a sense of peace and purpose they had never known.

The transformation was swift but profound. Their features sharpened, their hair darkened, and well-groomed beards appeared on their faces, just as they had for Adam and Zayd. Their skin took on a warm, golden-brown hue, and their hearts filled with a deep sense of unity and brotherhood.

When the transformation was complete, Omar and Tariq looked at each other with wide eyes, marveling at their new appearances. They felt stronger, more confident, and more connected than they ever had before. They knew, without a doubt, that they had made the right choice.

Idris, Adam, and Zayd stood beside them, their smiles reflecting the pride and joy they felt at welcoming two more brothers into the fold.

“Welcome to the Brotherhood of the Golden Thobes,” Idris said, his voice filled with warmth. “Together, we will guide others who are lost, helping them find the path to transformation and unity.”

The five men walked together through the park, their golden thobes shining brightly in the sunlight. They knew that this was just the beginning, that there were many more who would be drawn to the light of the golden thobes, ready to join the brotherhood and embrace a new way of life.

As they left the park, they carried with them the knowledge that they were part of something extraordinary—a brotherhood that would grow and thrive, spreading the light and unity of the golden thobes wherever they went.

In the end, we should all wear the golden thobes...

Jake becomes Yaseen

Jake had always been a man of ambition. Working in a sleek, modern office in the heart of the city, he took pride in his individuality and his Western roots. But lately, something had changed. His once familiar environment now felt foreign, as if it was slowly slipping away from him.

It started with small changes—subtle at first, almost unnoticeable. His colleagues, one by one, began adopting a new dress code: white Nike soccer jerseys with green details, accompanied by black fanny packs slung over their shoulders. They laughed together, exchanging knowing glances and shared smiles that Jake was no longer a part of.

As he sat alone at his desk, surrounded by the hum of conversation and camaraderie, Jake couldn't shake the feeling of being an outsider. The contrast between his traditional Western attire and the new cultural norm was stark, making him feel isolated and out of place in the very office where he had once thrived.

Jake watched as his colleagues interacted, their bonds seemingly stronger than ever. He could sense the subtle pressure mounting around him, a quiet expectation that he, too, would eventually conform. But Jake wasn’t ready to let go of his identity. Not yet.

The Encounter

The pressure intensified over the following days. It wasn’t long before Jake found himself face-to-face with Amir, Khalid, and Rami—three colleagues who had fully embraced the new cultural shift. They approached him during a break, their expressions friendly yet purposeful.

“Jake,” Amir began, his tone warm but firm, “we’ve been noticing you’ve been a bit distant lately. We want to help you feel more connected, more… part of the team.”

Khalid, who was carrying a neatly folded white Nike jersey, stepped forward. “We’ve got something for you. It’s a small gesture, but it means a lot. We want you to join us, to feel like you belong.”

Rami nodded in agreement, his eyes fixed on Jake with a look that was both inviting and unwavering. “This is more than just a jersey, Jake. It’s about unity, about moving forward together.”

Jake stared at the jersey in Khalid’s hands. It was the same as the ones his colleagues were now wearing—simple, with green details that had become a symbol of the new order. For a moment, he felt the weight of their expectations pressing down on him, but he managed a hesitant smile.

“I appreciate the gesture,” Jake said, trying to keep his voice steady. “But I’m not sure I’m ready for this.”

Amir exchanged a glance with the others, his smile never faltering. “Take your time, Jake. We’ll be here when you’re ready.”

As the three men walked away, leaving Jake alone with his thoughts, he couldn’t help but feel that time was running out.

The pressure had been building for weeks, and Jake could feel the cracks in his resolve. Every day, it seemed as though the world around him was closing in tighter, leaving him with fewer options and less space to breathe.

That afternoon, as he sat alone during lunch, his thoughts spiraled. He couldn’t keep up this resistance much longer—he knew that. But the idea of giving in, of losing the last vestiges of who he was, filled him with dread.

The sound of approaching footsteps pulled Jake from his thoughts. He looked up to see Amir, Khalid, and Rami standing before him. Their faces, once friendly and inviting, now held a seriousness that sent a chill down his spine.

“Jake,” Amir said, his voice leaving no room for argument, “it’s time.”

Jake looked at the jersey in Amir’s hands, the symbol of everything he had resisted for so long. The weight of their expectations bore down on him, crushing what little defiance he had left.

“You’ve held out long enough,” Khalid added, his tone both firm and sympathetic. “But it’s time to let go of the past. It’s time to move forward.”

Rami didn’t say anything, but his presence was enough. The three of them standing together, united in their purpose, made Jake feel smaller, more isolated than ever.

With a heavy heart and trembling hands, Jake reached out and took the jersey. The fabric felt foreign in his grasp, a symbol of a new identity he wasn’t sure he wanted but knew he needed to accept.

Amir smiled, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “You’re making the right choice, Jake. Welcome to the future.”

Jake’s hand trembled as he took the jersey from Amir. The weight of the fabric felt heavier than it should, as if it carried with it all the expectations and pressures that had been building up for weeks. As the three men watched him closely, Jake realized there was no turning back. The decision had been made, and now, he had to follow through.

The next day, Jake arrived at work wearing the white Nike jersey. It felt strange against his skin, a constant reminder of the choice he had made. The hoodie and jeans that had once been his armor were gone, replaced by the uniform of the new order. As he walked through the office, he noticed the change in how his colleagues looked at him. The once distant stares had softened, replaced by nods of approval and small smiles. He was no longer an outsider.

But the transition wasn’t easy. Every time Jake looked in the mirror, he saw a stranger staring back at him. The man in the reflection was someone who had given in, who had let go of his old identity in exchange for acceptance. The fanny pack, now slung over his shoulder, felt like a leash—one that he had willingly put on.

Jake’s transformation was nearly complete. The man who once clung to his individuality had become someone who valued unity and conformity. The resistance that had once defined him was now just a faint memory, overshadowed by the sense of belonging he had found in the new order.

One morning, as Jake walked to work, he passed by a group of new employees. They were dressed in the attire he had once worn—hoodies, jeans, and unsure expressions. Jake recognized the hesitation in their eyes, the same doubt he had felt not long ago.

Amir, Khalid, and Rami were with them, guiding them just as they had guided Jake. As Jake watched, he felt a strange mix of emotions—empathy, nostalgia, and an odd sense of superiority. He understood what they were going through, but he also knew what awaited them on the other side of their resistance.

One of the new employees caught Jake’s eye, a young man who reminded him of his former self. The man looked lost, uncertain, and as their eyes met, Jake felt a connection—a fleeting moment of understanding.

Jake approached the group, joining Amir, Khalid, and Rami. The young man looked at Jake, and for a moment, there was a silent exchange. Jake offered him a reassuring nod, a gesture that said, “I’ve been where you are. It’s going to be okay.”

As the young man hesitantly accepted the white Nike jersey, Jake felt a sense of completion. He was no longer the one being converted; he was now part of the system, part of the new world that was taking shape.

And as the group continued on their way, Jake knew that this was just the beginning. There would always be others to guide, others to bring into the fold. It was the way of the new order—unite, assimilate, and move forward together.

The man he had been was gone, replaced by someone who understood the value of unity, even if it came at the cost of individuality. Jake had found his place, and now, he would help others find theirs.

Jake had taken the final step in his transformation. He had changed his name to reflect his new identity—a name that resonated with his new role in the world. His former colleagues, now his closest allies, no longer saw him as Jake, but as Yaseen.

Yaseen felt a strange mix of pride and loss as he walked into the office that morning. The man he once was had faded away, replaced by someone who understood the value of unity and conformity. His new name was a badge of honor, a symbol of his acceptance into a world that had once seemed so foreign.

As Yaseen approached his desk, Amir, Khalid, and Rami were waiting for him. They stood with smiles that carried a sense of approval and recognition. This was the moment they had been waiting for—the moment when Yaseen would be welcomed not just as a colleague, but as a brother.

“Yaseen,” Amir said, his voice warm and welcoming, “welcome to the family.”

Khalid clapped him on the shoulder, a gesture of camaraderie. “You’ve made the right choice, brother. We’re proud to have you with us.”

Rami nodded, his expression serious but kind. “You belong here, Yaseen. This is where you’re meant to be.”

Yaseen smiled, feeling the weight of their words. He was no longer an outsider, no longer someone who had to fight to be accepted. He had found his place, and it felt…right.

The group stood together, united by their shared identity and purpose. The journey had been long, but Yaseen knew that this was just the beginning. There were others out there, just like he had been, and it was now his turn to guide them into the fold.

Open House, Open Recruitment

Adam stood in the doorway of the modest suburban home, surveying the interior with his critical eye and attention to detail. The house was perfect for a young family—three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a spacious backyard, and a quiet neighborhood. With the open house scheduled for the afternoon, he had only a few hours before people arrived to ensure everything was in order.

As he moved from room to room, straightening pillows and adjusting curtains, Adam noticed a box tucked away in the back of the closet in the master bedroom. Curious, he pulled it out and set it on the bed. The box was unmarked, but it had a strange weight to it that piqued his interest.

He opened the box, and inside, neatly folded, were several white soccer jerseys with green details. Adam lifted one out, inspecting it closely. The material was soft, almost inviting, with intricate green embroidery along the sleeves and collar. There was no brand tag, no indication of where it had come from.

Something about the jersey drew him in. Without really thinking, he slipped off his blazer and tie and unbuttoned his shirt, replacing it with the white jersey. The moment it touched his skin, a wave of warmth spread through his body, settling deep in his chest.

He stood still for a moment, puzzled by the sensation. His reflection in the bedroom mirror caught his eye, and as he looked at himself, Adam noticed subtle changes taking place. His hair, once light brown, darkened to a deep black. His skin tone shifted, taking on a warm, olive hue. His facial features sharpened, becoming more angular, with a prominent nose and a thicker beard that seemed to grow in seconds.

His heart raced as he watched the transformation in the mirror. His blue eyes darkened to a rich brown, and his neatly trimmed beard got thicker. Adam's clothes seemed to change as well—his dress pants and loafers replaced by a pair of tan trousers and sandals that complemented the white jersey.

He blinked, trying to reconcile the image in the mirror with his memory of himself. He felt different, not just physically but mentally. He realized he was no longer Adam Barnes, a real estate agent from Connecticut. His thoughts, his memories—they were shifting, rearranging themselves into something new.

The name that came to him was not Adam but Omar. He was a devout Muslim, a man who had lived his life with a sense of purpose and faith. The transformation had not just altered his appearance but his very identity. He felt a deep connection to his new self, as though he had always been Omar and the life of Adam was a distant, fading memory.

Omar looked down at the remaining jerseys in the box. A sense of duty welled up within him—these jerseys were meant to be shared. They held the power to transform, to bring others into the fold of faith. The open house was no longer just about selling a home; it was about offering something far greater.

He carefully laid out the jerseys on the dining room table, each one neatly folded and ready to be handed out. As the first guests for the open house arrived, he felt a calmness and sense of duty settle over him. He knew exactly what he needed to do.

One Week In

One week ago, I was Arabized. In this post, I'd like to share some of my experiences.

On the day of my conversion, there was nervous excitement. I knew it was the right thing, but I realized I would become a minority, at least until Arabization takes hold. I knew to expect stigma and prejudice from others who didn't understand or didn't want to understand. I also knew that some might criticize me for following the only truth in this world.

Luckily though, my beloved brothers accepted me and each other as if we'd known each other all our lives. From day one, I never felt alone and was reassured that others had taken the same leap of faith as me. I have a connection with the brothers that I have never felt with any of my so-called friends before. It made me realize how fickle my life was before and why we call each other brother, or akhi, rather than friend. I began casting off my old friends to spend more time with my own kind.

Since conversion, I have rejected my old life. Now, I only see Arab content. I feel more free, purer and happier for it. Before I would scroll endlessly, looking for the next piece of content. In hindsight, I was searching for meaning. Now I have found it and I do not need to scroll. I am nourished by what I see and scroll past any subversive or blasphemous content without a second thought. This change has given me more headspace and less noise, more peace and less anxiety, more productivity and less procrastination, more energy and less dissatisfaction.

This only strengthened my conviction. Before I always tried to be fair and diplomatic, and tried to balance a range of views and perspectives. But with my brothers behind me, I don't care anymore. I have the conviction to say what I think and get what I want. I don't care if you disagree with me because I know I am right and have chosen truth and rejected the sins of your world.

Now I love my life. Alhamdulillah. I haven't shaved since conversion either. Let me know what you think. 💚