Alpha Dave Letting Dirk Have Sex With Him Because "don't I Owe You Everything? (for The Bad Circumstances

alpha dave letting dirk have sex with him because "don't I owe you everything? (for the bad circumstances of your life)" and bro fucking Dave because "you owe me everything. I did everything for you"

Here's something you probably didn't know: corporations have too much money. Because of a bunch of really bad decisions, they've been allowed to jack up prices, pay workers unfairly, and keep the lion's share of the revenue. What that means, however, is that they have a lot of loose cash on hand. Cash that I would like.

You're looking at Pick-N-Pull's newest Writer In Residence. Now, this is not a conventional role you see in mega-corporations. I just kept cold-calling companies that I loved, FedExing them my hand-scrawled notebooks full of terrifying rambling, and following their executives home from work until they agreed that they should probably just give me some of their money. My grandpa always used to say that the best way to get a new job was to go out and look for one, by hanging a corporate middle manager upside down while sparking their nipples with battery cables until self-ignition. That second part was implied, because Grandpa Switch knew that our phones were tapped.

So what does this fancy new job require me to do? Well, not much. You see, they've become accustomed to the bohemian (that's French for "all fucked up") life of the creative. Once in awhile, I have to come out of my greasy office, which is filled with parts I bought using my healthy corporate discount, and write something fun to put on the bulletin board at work. HR has gotten involved with a few of them, but they understand that I'm passionate, and artistic, and also spending my entire paycheque on Slant Sixes, so they decided it was probably a good idea to just leave me alone.

At the end of this year, I'm supposed to release some kind of fantastic work of art – the great junk novel – so that they can hype it in their investor prospectus. We're not just a car junkyard, they will explain, we can be a junkyard of the human spirit as well. We'll see how that project goes, but at the moment I have a serious case of the ol' writer's block. As in, there's an old AMC Eagle 258 bottom end sitting on my desk, covering up my corporate issued computer. Don't worry, IT will replace it. They know how to spend the company's money.

Alright, here's one for the queers

So supposedly, every family has "a gay cousin." I'm curious as to whether that's accurate or not. So!

having one of those executive function days where everything is too many steps

How to post images within a story on AO3

Not definitive. Not the ultimate. But it works for me. And I’m not a code monkey, so don’t ask me detailed questions (or you can ask if you want to watch me go “buh buh buh…). This is just what I’ve managed to patch together from other people’s instructions. I wanted it all in one place. And I wanted to share.

Step 1: Open your AO3 account. You’re going to create a skin that you’ll be able to reuse. On the left side menu, choose ‘Skins’. Click on ‘My Work Skins’. And then click on ‘Create Work Skin’. Paste this into the CSS box exactly as is:

#workskin img {  max-width: 100%;  height: auto; }

The reason for this skin is to keep the image within the borders of whatever device the reader is on. So if they’re using a smart phone, the image will fit the smaller screen and they won’t have to scan over to see the entire thing. If they’re on their computer, the image will fit within the borders of that screen too. Technically you wouldn’t have to use this skin at all, but I find it annoying to have a large image on a small phone and not to be able to see it in its entirety. This is just something nice to do for your reader.

Give it a unique title (mine, for example, is ‘Whiskey image’, but you can call it whatever the hell you’d like). Save it.

Step 2: If you don’t have DropBox, get DropBox. It’s a free app. The reason you want DropBox is to host the image and DropBox provides a static IP address, unlike tumblr. Create your account in DropBox and upload the image/s you want to host. There are other hosting apps you can use. I don’t use them. If you think whatever you use is better, use that. As long as the IP is static, I don’t care. Just for gods sake, don’t use tumblr to host your image. Their IP addresses are subject to change and that will break your image link. (NB: Step 4 probably won’t apply if you use something other than DropBox.)

While you’re in DropBox on the website, notice that when you highlight the image you want to insert, there’s a ‘Share’ button. This will give you the permanent link you’ll be using soon.

Step 3: Create your story in AO3 (or, for an existing story, click on ‘Edit’). In the 3rd box down, called ‘Associations’, select the skin you saved in Step 1 from the drop down menu. This will apply to the entire story, so you won’t have to do it for each chapter if you’re posting multiple images.

When you go to copy and paste your story into the chapter text box, be sure to click ‘Rich Text’ before doing so. Then paste your story in.

Place your curser where you want the image. Go back to DropBox, click ‘Share’ and create a link, then copy the image IP address. Or, if you’re working off the app on your computer, right click the image and select ‘Copy DropBox Link’. Go back to AO3 and click on ‘Insert/edit image’ from the menu across the top of the text box. Copy the link into the ‘Source’ box.

This next step is very important! Do not skip this part!

Step 4: At the end of the IP address, delete dl=0 and replace with raw=1. If you don’t do this bit, all the other stuff is for naught and it won’t work.

So say it with me now. Delete dl=0 and replace with raw=1.

Right. Almost done, boy-o.

Fill in an image description if you’d like.

Leave the dimensions alone.

Click ‘ok’.

The image should appear like magic. Preview it just to be sure. Celebrate your genius with the beverage of your choice.

How to make plasma in the microwave using a grape (don't)

For those of you who don't want to watch the whole video (I recommend watching it, if only for the guy's extremely blase attitude to fire and poisonous gas in his microwave, here is just the plasma part:

And the crazy thing is, even though people have been making videos of this for over 20 years, scientists didn't actually know why it happens until 2019.

Basically, plasma is what happens to matter when it is superheated enough that electrons start to come loose from the atoms they belong to and just create a soup of charged particles. This Science article explains well how this effect is created by a halved grape connected by a thin strip of skin:

"Water-heavy grapes trap the wavelengths of energy microwave ovens emit because the waves are roughly the same size as the diameter of grapes. That energy starts charging up electrolytes inside the fruit, which then flow from one half of the grape to the other—using the strip of skin like an electrical wire and gaining energy as they go. The current quickly burns through the skin, causing the charged electrolytes to try to jump from one half of the grape to the other, supercharging the surrounding air into a bright flare of plasma—the same light-emitting state of matter responsible for the sun's rays and fluorescent lighting."

You can see in these energy diagrams of the microwaved grapes that when the grape halves are moved closer together, alllllll of the energy that is normally distributed throughout the two grape halves condenses down into an extremely small area between them to form a hotspot of radiation. The energy of this area is so great that it can heat the surrounding gas enough to turn it into plasma.

All this to say that this is a super cool quirk of science that you definitely should NOT try at home (the scientists doing the experiment to find out why this happened destroyed 12 different microwaves in the process lol)