FUCK IT - MATT STURNIOLO

FUCK IT - MATT STURNIOLO

Spotify Playlist:

Pairing: Matt x Oc

Contains: Growing up with parents who make her feel isolated, what happens when she meets Matt. A person who introduces her to new people, new experiences and new feelings.

Requested?: no

Author's notes: My first ever fic which is crazy but I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I have writing it (hopefully it will have consistent updates)

Word Count: 4857

“Is this something we are meant to do?”

“Fuck it.”

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Seeing the hallways early in the morning was always an eerie feeling. The corridors that normally bustle with kids and teachers were now silent, the only sounds being my own footsteps that thud on the marbled floor below. That never failed to make me paranoid. I pull a headphone from my ear, taking my case out my pocket with my spare hand. Usually, I am then met with anticipated silence as my music dims from my ears; today was different. My body pauses at the door to the music room, my hand hesitates to reach for the handle as sounds of drumsticks that crash against snare drums and cymbals interrupt my normal routine. I grow curious and open the door wide and I walk through the doorway, the guitar on my back slamming the door into the brick wall behind it. A loud crash echoes behind me which startles me and the boy who remains sat behind the drum kit. My face falters once our eyes meet and I realize who it is.

Matthew Sturniolo

“You have to be shitting me” I mumble and grit through my teeth, laying my backpack and guitar case onto the sofa opposite the drums.

“Shit sorry, I wasn’t expecting anyone in here...” he almost groans back, seeing my demeanor towards the situation.

“Yeah evidently” I return my words with a sarcastic tone, practically mocking his obvious statement. I sigh and slump down on the sofa which my backpack now leans off of. The sound of leather creases below me and I adjust myself on the uncomfortable material, my foot immediately finding this as an opportunity to tap against the carpeted flooring. “So, how long do you plan on staying in here?”

He lays his drumsticks on the drum watching them proceed to roll off, awkwardly trying to catch them as he now stammers making me raise an eyebrow and scoff.

“U-uhm well until class starts, do you need to practice your... guitar?” he peeks his head around his cymbals to view the case my instrument is carried in.

My feet awkwardly shuffle on the floors “obviously not as much as you do.” I grovel in response rolling my eyes before propping my body weight up from the sofa to lean against my knees.

“What’s that supposed to mean.” He mutters with a slightly colder attitude than previously possessed.

“Calm down, not like that, I mean… you’re in several performances for the band’s talent show next weekend. I was saying it was a higher priority than my...” I trail off now focusing my gaze on my guitar casing “hobby.”

“Oh.” His voice weakens, almost timid now realizing his now false accusation. He shifts on the seat and manages to look me in the eye again.

I drag out a tangled lead from the side of my case, flashing the headphones to Matt before practically throwing them on the couch as I drag my guitar out of the case, kicking the wrapping off to the side. I lean the guitar up against the height of the sofa as I start to untangle the lead with both my hands. I weave my fingers through the loops and slide the cable against itself. The length of the cable eventually reveals itself with the final tug on the wire.

The click from the guitar plug completes my set up as I start to tune my guitar, listening to the string’s pitch change as I twist the tuning pegs. The odd chord here or there slowly blends together until the strings match the necessary sounds. Leather beneath me creaks again as I sit back down the sofa with the guitar lying under my arm and on top of my thigh.

Matt trails from the conversation and picks up his drumsticks creating a light beat with the tips of them. It was a basic beat merely to gain a tempo before he nods his head to a new beat that I instantly recognize.

Dark red – Steve Lacy

I begin to study Matt’s actions, them intriguing me for the first time this morning. His hands are focused on the beat of his drums, occasionally hesitating before another sound emits from the skin of the drum. His pace steadies more as he concentrates on his movements. I find myself tapping the body of my guitar lightly to the beat he makes. Matt nods his head gently to the drums which causes a strand or two of hair to fall Infront of his face, resting just above his eye. I swallow harshly and look down to the strings on my own instrument and I pluck at them before strumming to create an occasional note from the song matt is playing.

I give in, however, and adjust my guitar on my lap so that I can play the song properly. Grabbing my pick that is sat beside me, tainted with its own ‘dark red’, my guitar now hums with the according notes.

He snaps out of his focused state and snaps his head over to me with a smile. For some reason it makes me smile back as I continue to play the song more passionately as I hum the lyrics to keep me on beat. I hear a breathy laugh from his direction as we then hit the chorus which makes me smile once again. Thankfully he is only focused on the drums.

I feel his gaze on me when its time for me to change my chords for the verse. I follow suit and switch the tune as the beat drops, I strum a little harder on my guitar which makes a stronger sound emit from my instrument. I keep humming the words to the song gently in tune with Matt’s drums; I steal another glance at him. He isn’t smiling much as before but you can instantly feel the passion as he plays and nods his head. He doesn’t seem to care about anything else, not the strands of hair that fall from their initial position, not the amount of noise he is making at 8:12am or music sheets that slide further of the holder. Something about Matt’s playing almost distracts me, every music class I’ve been too everyone looks so forced into their instruments. Those kids even make me feel negative about music at times, but this? This is different.

He looks up at me, meeting my gaze and I instantly look back down to the guitar resting on my lap. I purse my lips together as the final 30 seconds of the song reach. Matt stops playing the drums to allow me to finish, finally fixing his hair and slicking it back over himself. The last chords I play are slower, softer and relaxed. I stroke the strings on my guitar slowly and sigh once the noise quietens.

A silence falls between us both. Both our breathing is a little heavier but not enough to be noticeable to the other.

“You can play guitar.” He speaks with a cocky smile as he leans back onto the stool below him.

“As if this was for show” A quite scoff escapes my throat as I retort. “You don’t play bad yourself”

“Thanks...” His tone diminishes to a calmer and more confused one, he looks at me with an expectant expression.

“Alyia…” I respond.

Playing songs with matt was refreshing from anyone who I normally play with, he can actually play his instrument.

The next week follows the same routine. I walk in the music room, greeted by matt and we play music together. It wasn’t like it was for fun or anything, only to help him practice for the talent show.

That’s what I kept telling myself at least.

-

“Good morning.” I speak into the room without acknowledging my surroundings. I take off my jacket and throw it onto a chair nearby and place my guitar case on the carpeted floor.

“Hey” A voice emits from behind me rather than its usual location behind the drum kit.

I turn my head sharply to the drums and I notice they are strangely empty; I turn my head another 90 degrees and my eyes meet matt. He is leant against the door frame with his drumsticks resting in his cross arms which lie against his chest. He adjusts his position so he stands straighter and slicks his hair back with his palm.

“don’t do that Matt, you scared me” I turn again to face my guitar, leaning down to unzip the casing and reveal my black guitar.

“you’re here early, how come?” Matt strides past me and takes a seat at the drum kit before tapping the base drum a few times.

“Well. You are here before me and this is the last day before the talent show tomorrow, why not?”

“Ah. Can’t get enough of me, can you?” he laughs at his own joke and shakes his head slightly. Before I can respond to it, he chimes in again. “What song today, Alyia?”

I finally take position at my ‘designated seat’ and strum a gentle #C chord. “Uhm...” I drag the m through my pursed lips before muttering. “What one is your weakest?”

“Fuck I don’t know? ‘There she goes?’ I keep going to fast about halfway through the damn song” he grumbles with mild self-deprecation and clicks his tongue against his cheek.

I don’t respond with any words but simply tuning one of my strings and immediately strumming the initial pattern to the song’s melody. I nod my head to keep in beat until matt joins in 10 seconds in with light cymbal taps, finally playing his base with more momentum 5 seconds later.

I enjoyed playing this song a lot more than the rest. Even if it did repeat itself, it only made it harder to mess up the chords. The pace was slow but enough to keep me entertained and created a soothing atmosphere that made me forget about the blisters that were starting to form under the rough skin on my hands from the week’s excessive playing. My arm that relaxed over the body of my guitar allowed me to relax into the song more.

I take a glance up at Matt for what feels like the millionth time this week and I see those same strand of hair as before fall onto his face, he manages to tilt his head and jolt it slightly to flick them back into place without ruining his pace.

I play fast about halfway through the damn song.

Not true. He plays it perfectly; we stay in tune with each other the entire time. Even when I add an extra note or riff to mess with him, he stays on beat.

Weird.

I finish the song with a gentle stroke on my stings with dissipates into the air around us. My eyes meet his again.

The door then swings open with a slam as it hits the brick wall in the same place that I hit it the first time I spoke to Matt.

“Mattyyyy” A voice echoes off those same brick walls which is followed by a groan from behind the other.

I hear Matt sigh once he relaxes from his jump scare. I still recover from mine as my body starts to relax once more. Curiously, I face where the voice came from and two boys enter the room and walk towards Matt, one quicker to hug Matt than the other. I recognize their faces as you can easily match them to Matt’s own expression.

“Hey Chris? What are you doing here...? Matt welcomes him with a side hug, holding his drumsticks in the hand that wraps around his back.

“I told him not to bother you but as per usual… He. Didn’t. Listen.” The third one speaks in a monotone voice through his gritted teeth before he puts his weight on one side of his body.

I stay silent, not wanting to disturb the interaction between the three, just lightly tapping on the edge of the sofa, plucking clump of fabric between our fingers. My guitar still rests upon my thigh, my fingers of my other hand lightly plucking at the strings as it drapes over the body of it.

“Whatttt, I haven’t heard Matt play in forever, he has basically shut himself in here for a week” Chris groans and wipes his hands over his face as he slumps on the third’s shoulder which pushes him to the side.

“Jesus Chris its not that bad, you will hear him more after the talent shows.” He retorts as he pushes Chris’s body weight off of him with both arms.

“Well, it’s nice for you two to show up...” he speaks with a calmer tone than previously as he then hints towards me with a simple head tilt.

Both the two boys turn their bodies in my direction and abruptly pause their sentences. An awkward silence comes over us and I offer a weak smile.

“Oh, my bad, whoops” Chris mutters towards me, becoming a little quieter than before and stepping back towards Matt “Nick, why didn’t you tell me someone else was here dude.”

“As if I fucking knew” Nick sighs as he side-eyes the younger boy. He turns his arms outward before dropping them to his side once more.

“Guys this is Alyia, she is the one who I mentioned who can actually play guitar without making our ears bleed.” Matt points his drumstick at me and waves it in a tight circle while leaning on one of his drums. He hints at me with a sincere smile.

“Uh, hey?” I practically mumble these words to the group of them; they all face me with blank expressions as we grow quiet in unison, the only sounds being the scratch of Chris’s soles on the rough carpet as he shuffles his feet subtly.

A meek wave is given as nick raises his hand to me hesitantly. He looks to Chris and Matt, rolling his eyes as they don’t speak again.

“So, you were the one who scared matt shitless the first time you met?” Nick’s voice fills the awkward silence.

“I mean that’s one way to put it I suppose”

Great introduction Ally

“Guys look, this is nice and all but why are you two here exactly. You are never here this early unless I beg you to join me.” He pauses as he ponders about the situation that he made clear “wait, did Nate drive you here?”

Nick nods his head strongly as does Chris, who has stopped shuffling his feet now.

“Yeah, Nate did give us a lift, and all Nick did was play Melanie the entire 15 minutes. I gave up and put headphones on” Nick then lightly elbow’s Chris in the ribs with gritted teeth, his gaze remains on Matt’s drums.

“Anyway, Miss Ackley is rounding up the bands for a final practice between people for tomorrow, we said we would grab you and bring you there.” His arms cross over each other and he sighs heavily.

“Fuck. This early? Damn, whatever…” A long sigh escapes his lips as he pushes himself up from his previous slouched demeanor. He slicks his hair one last time as he stands up and paces towards his backpack which seems far too empty to contain more than one book, maybe a pencil case if you’re lucky. Perhaps it was because the straps were worn out and tired from previous years. We were seniors after all.

I track his motions with my gaze, watching Matt’s footsteps hit the ground harshly, more so than on average. I can feel the vibrations under my own sneakers.

Both Nick and Chris race ahead of Matt, already leaving the doorway they previously crashed through with energy. However, Matt slacks behind whilst I turn my focus back to my guitar, expecting him to follow suit and walk out.

“You should come watch the show tomorrow, I’d like you to see that our practice wasn’t in vain.” His fingers pick at the chipping wood that hug the door frame.

“You sure? Its not like you needed the practice to begin with.” I raise an eyebrow and let out a breathy laugh for a short moment, which is only interrupted by his words.

“I’m positive. I’d like to see you there for at least one song.” His eyes essentially plead at me as he feigns a pout with his bottom lip, hoping for me to surrender, which I do.

“Fine. One song got it.?”

He salutes at me and pushes himself from the doorway, letting his fingers linger there for as long as he can before he turns the corner. That leaves me sat alone in the music room, which hasn’t been the case since before I met Matt. It feels wrong now.

After a few minutes, the silence becomes too deafening for me to work in so I pack up my equipment and leave the music room in search of the library. I couldn’t work in that silence I once used to wish for every day.  

-

The talent show was never all that important to me, if it was I would more than likely participate in it with my guitar. Matt is the only reason I ever showed up this year. I’ve only known him a week and normally I would just refuse, however, the fact that he is playing and playing well makes me want to go. Finally having someone else that can actually play music is more appealing to a musician than you may think.

-

An alarm blasts from my phone reading 6:15pm.

Shit. I’m running late.

I grab my bag, shoving some basic necessities into it as I exit my room in a hurry and speed down the stairs, skipping a few at a time. I turn the corner of my banister, quickly placing my hands Infront of me to stop myself from crashing into the cream-coloured wall that is now facing me. I use that momentum to push myself towards the front door, grabbing my keys on the way out, letting the door slam behind me.

*Matt pov*

“Hey Quinn, can you help me set up my drums? I got shit to do real quick” I walk offstage and adjust the earbud in my ear slightly, tilting my head as I do so.

“Uh sure? Just give me 5.”

I only respond with a nod from behind having already walked past Quinn whilst I walk to the main dressing room. The hallway echoes with my shoes squeaking as I walk heavily with long strides. People inside immediately perk up and glance to the door that swings open.

“Yo, Nate you coming out or what, I need you backstage on music, we have to start in 10 minutes.” As I talk, I seem rushed and a little stressed with my words; everyone is so nonchalant about the fact that they all have to be ready in 10 minutes and I am the only one currently onstage.

Nate stands up and walks towards me, grabbing my wrist lightly and pulls me out the doorway, the door lightly clicks behind us unlike the crash that I had previously made.

“Dude, you have to understand that this isn’t a theatre or concert. No need to stress, no one cares this much but you.” He jolts his elbow into my rib with a smile on his face.

“Ugh” I groan and roll my eyes, leaning off from Nate’s grip which remained on my wrist. “I know, I know, I just want it to go well. I rarely ever get to show off my drums to anyone, let alone a whole school.”

“Well, I’m ready, go get Martha and Dan and finish setting up. I’ll get my shit turned on now, ‘aight?”

A sigh escapes my lips as I nod my head slowly and separate from Nate, returning to backstage. I feel relief when Martha and Dan wave me over from their positions they take on stage behind the curtain. I take faster strides to my drum kit which is now fully set up and, looking back over my shoulder to see Quinn give me a thumbs up which I appreciatively reciprocate.

Once I take my seat my leg immediately bounces up and down making the floorboards under me creak ever so slightly. My fingers follow the same pattern and start to spin my drumstick meticulously between each finger one at a time circulating my hand repeatedly.

I get a cue from Nate at the side and I immediately force my foot on the bass pedal and strike it steadily. After 8 counts the snare and floor tom got added to my rhythm. By now the curtains have started to open for night and draw to each side. I try and focus on the beat I’m creating but my eyes can only fall to the audience and I start to scan almost instantly. At first, I’m not sure what for but then my brain catches up with itself.

Alyia

Dark Red – Steve Lacy

The steady, rhythmic beating of drums fills the air around me and I concentrate on the flow of my beat. I allow myself to fall further into the base lines I provide and I consistently hit the skin of the drums accordingly. I let my eyes look up to the crowd in front of me. Even though my drums are placed towards the rear of the stage, the lighting hoisted above me, allow me to see each audience member with ease. The lights aren’t harsh however since a slight red tint provided all our eyes with a little more comfort than the original hospital white shade.

Occasional glances flick between the audience and my drums as I attempt to locate Alyia, she never promised me she would attend, I just hoped she had promised herself.

I can’t tell if I am stressed about being on stage for the first time in ages or what but my heart is racing more than my anxiety ever normally causes it to. My hands are slightly clammy but I blame that on how much I’m playing the drums and moving my body.

As my body forces me to look at the audience once more, heads turn to the back of the hall, now facing the right-hand side. I follow suit and glance over in that direction. The side entrance has gently been pushed open and someone has walked through. Their back is turned to me and I momentarily put my concentration back into the music and timings. Curiosity gets the better of me once again and I exhale deeply, slipping my tongue between my lips to wet them briefly and I fix on the door again as I attempt to make out who entered.

My eyes squint as I focus on the person for about ten seconds before I finally realize who it is.

Alyia.

She actually came? I didn’t think she was serious when she agreed to the one song. Granted she was a little late. Nothing I minded at the moment, however.

I see her quickly set eyes on the stage, examining it quickly. I watch her eyes as they fall to my drum kit, lingering on the school logo on the bass drum. She hesitates as her eyes met mine, her expression, inscrutable. I maintain eye contact before I break it to change the pattern of my beats. And by then her own focus changes too.

When I am finally able to take my eyes away from the drums, the song is over. Dan and Martha don’t stay on the stage long enough to even acknowledge the people they had just performed to and they simply wandered off stage. I remain sat down on my stool. I plant my feet flat on the ground and use force to swivel my position back and forth as I drink from a half empty water bottle. I flip the bottle between my hands before I replace it with the quieter options of my sticks which rhythmically spin amongst my first few fingers to the beat of the song in my head – the song I was playing next.

Ride – Twenty One Pilots

I then notice some movement out of the corner and I turn my neck to see a hand waving at me. A confused expression grows on my face as I narrow my eyes off stage. I notice Nate standing next to the singer of who I’m playing for next and a worried expression is visible on the both of them.

A sigh disperses into the air for what seems to be the millionth time tonight and I push myself off my seat, lightly hitting the side of the cymbal with my hip as I brush past.

“What’s going on?” I finally reach where they are and stand closest to Nate, crossing my arms across my chest.

“Jess’s guitar string just snapped.” An exasperated sigh leaves the singers lips as he hands me the broken string from his own palm.

“Shit, uhm...” I inspect the string and based on the thickness I immediately knew it was a D string. My hand lays flat, holding the string in front of me and I hand it back them.

“It’s just a D string, I have spares in my bag, Nate will show you where it is.” I face Nate then nudging his side.

“Uh yeah sure, we will be quick Matt, promise.”

I nod before walking back onto the stage, and back to my stool which now is cold due the lack of body heat. With my legs only being covered in some black, denim shorts it makes me jump back somewhat.

-

After five minutes of delay, the ‘host’ announces the singer and guitarist’s names to the audience. I sigh with relief as I pick back up my drumsticks and get into position.

It’s not long after that I confirm everyone’s set up and intro the next song, after the initial counts of 8 I provide, the guitarist and piano audio that Nate creates joins in with me.

This song starts much more smoothly than the first few songs I played and everyone’s skill set is higher and much more practiced too. My sections are more complex than the last song however, I enjoy the flow and atmosphere enough to ease that stress and relax me.

Halfway through the song, the chorus plays for the second time and my arms relax into the repeated pattern which allows me one more chance to look into the audience. The first people I notice are Nick and Chris. Nick has one of our cameras out, fortunately without the flash on as Chris goofs off next to him which results in Nick jolting his knee into Chris’s. I roll my eyes at them and the pace of the song slows down. The lights dim gradually as we approach the final seconds of the song. My muscles stop tensing since I can play softer and leisurely. A deep breath fills my lungs and glance up into the audience, I instantly meet Alyia’s eyes again and we both smile, mine definitely showing more than I mentally allowed myself to, but I stopped caring quickly when she broke eye contact with a roll of her eyes.

-

My drumsticks finally rest upon the floor tom drum and I’m now sat backstage closest to the audience whilst I pack up my things. I grimace when I feel resistance in my ears from the earbuds I put in 2 hours ago now.

Once everything is packed up, I can only wait until the next song is over until I can leave this heated environment. The only distractions from time that I had were quick exchanges with two people I previously performed with, my bottle clattering on the floor next to me and another mini staring contest with Alyia that I ended this time.

-

“Finally.” I mutter when the host begins their ending comments to the night, I hold my coat between my arm and ribs and swing my backpack onto my right arm, praying my bottle didn’t fall out again when I rushed down the side platform.

My eyes close themselves, only opening again when a tug on my shirt wakes me up. I stop walking and turn my head around with an initially confused expression.

“So, you invite me out here and you don’t even say hi, Matthew” The girl in front of me is finally in a clearer view with all the main lights turned on and a lack of distance between us. I study her outfit momentarily which consisted of low-rise navy jeans; a cropped purple star tee, barely covering her bra straps; a white overhanging beanie and a bunch of small accessories around her neck, wrist and fingers.

“Alyia... hey.” I snap out of my stare as I look down at my air forces which shuffle around on the floor.

“I gotta say, I’m happy you came”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

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hey so i have a confession to make 🫤

i’m actually madly in love with u

Oh my god that's crazy bc me too😧🤧

I'm so feral over this i can't.

if i said i need him then what?

I had to compose myself one too many times while reading this. That's how you this shit is good😫🤧

Quiet 12

P1 P2 P3 P4 P5 P6 P7 P8 P9 P10 P11

pairing: y/n and Matt sturniolo

summary: a girl with a lot of baggage and a boy with even more try to help put each others pieces back together one by one. A story about a girl who’s broken and a boy who doesn’t talk

warnings: mentions of drinking, suggestive, mentions of being drunk

-------------------------------------------------------

"Wednesday" I stated. Matt glanced up at me hesitantly. I shifted next to him. "I upset you" I breathed. He looked back down. I tilted my head to look at his face. His eyes glanced over at me reluctantly, like he didn’t want to look at me.

"Can you tell me why?" I whispered. He took in a breath and looked away from me. "Chris made it pretty clear, I upset you" I spoke again remembering the way he screamed at me in the parking lot. I swallowed.

Matt looked down.

"Tell me Matt" I pleaded desperate to get an answer out of him. His face twisted and he opened his mouth and closed it along with his eyes. He softly shook his head.

I sighed of defeat and turned away from him. Matt looked over at me.

I just glanced down at my book, forgoing the entire conversation. I can't be sorry if I didn't know what I did. Matt wouldn't even tell me.

He reached over and wrote on his notebook. I looked over.

You and Jake, are you guys together?

I stared down at the sentence. Matt didn't look up at me. All he did was stare at the sentence that he wrote. I licked my lips and looked down at the page.

"I don't know Matt. He-" I took in a breath. "I don't know what we are" I mumbled. He looked up to me, I stared back down at my book. He pursed his lips and wrote again on the page.

for someone who doesn't know, he sure does like to kiss you a lot

I looked down at the words before I looked up at Matt. He stared at me. I smacked my lips before turning back to my book.

"Before you ask" I spoke. "That's all we did--kiss." I spoke honestly. It's all that happened. Just a lot of kissing. Matt stared at me before going back to the page.

I wasn't going to ask

I blinked down at the words and I just turned.

"He's nicer than you think you know. He's...." I set down my book. Matt had his eyes trained on me.

"He's not like his friends" I shook my head. Matt sighed and looked down before writing one last thing.

I'll have to take your word for it

I bit my lip and turned away wanting this conversation to end. I tapped my finger against the book over and over, reading none of the words on the page.

"So the party..." I whispered without looking up. He glanced over to me. "Are you gonna come?" I asked raising my head.

I could have sworn when the words left my mouth he looked sick to his stomach. Like a million thoughts filled behind his eyes. He pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and he looked down at his page.

"You don't have to---" I shook my head. "I can just..." I sighed. "Come over after" I suggested. He looked up at me and closed his eyes.

He shook his head.

I stared at him and he glared down at his page before shaking his head again. It only took a few seconds before he grabbed his things and stood up and left.

-

I pulled my skirt down feeling as if my legs were too much on display. I'd stared myself in the mirror for what felt like an hour. Attempting to find my nicest clothes that would match what everyone else might be wearing at the party.

Here I was at 17 and I had no idea what people wore to parties. I'd never been to one before. I wrapped my arms around myself.

I wondered what my mom would think in these moments. If she'd be proud of me for putting myself out there. For going to party. With a boy. I chuckled to myself.

I nodded in the mirror.

You look fine Y/n. You look pretty.

My mom's voice came through and I smiled and that was enough to grab my stuff and walk out the door to the party. If even Matt wasn't coming with me. I could do this. Still I paused before reaching for the doorknob. I shook my head.

And I walked in.

I took in a breath as I attempting to move out of the way of people. I ducked and turned apologizing as I walked through the room trying to find a familiar face. So far I saw no one.

Until I felt someone wrap their arm around my waist over my exposed stomach. Their face was pressed into my neck, kissing softly.

"You made it"

I chuckled and turned until we faced each other. Jake's eyelids were drooped and he held one arm out that held his drink.

"Hi" I whispered. "Hi" He breathed back pressing his lips to mine. I kissed him softly before parting from him. He pulled at my side.

"Come on, everyone's over here" He said motioning behind me. I nodded as he replaced his grip on my side, to my hand and dragged me through the crowd.

People glanced at us. I met some of their eyes. Some whispered, some people's eyes widened. I ducked my head down and squeezed Jake's hand tighter. We finally made it into the living room before I saw everyone sitting looking around.

I smiled and waved as I stood next to Jake.

"Jake I was wondering where you ran off too" Tyler turned to look at us. Jake looked down at me.

"Sit with me" He mumbled down to me. I nodded as I looked up at him. We moved to the couch before I sat down next to him.

He smiled and his hand found it's place on the inside of my leg, pulling it towards him. I closed my legs quickly so that I wasn't exposed to those sitting around us. I felt my face heaten.

"You look cute"

I turned and met Lacey's stare. She was sitting on Gavin's lap. I averted my eyes from widening. She wasn't smiling, she just stared as she sipped from her drink.

"Thank you" I breathed straighting out my top. Her eyes glanced down to Jake's hand on my leg. She pursed her lip and dropped her drink from her lips.

"You drink?" She asked.

I blinked at her before shaking my head. She stared and her eyes glanced over me. Jake leaned in me.

"Do you want me to get you a drink Y/n?" He said softly. I looked over at him.

"No, I'm okay right now" I smiled softly. He nodded and shifted his shoulder behind mine so that I was leaning against his chest slightly. I sighed.

"I wanna play a game" Lacey stood from her seat on Gavin. Gavin groaned. "You always wanna play a game, come back and sit" He reached for her. She ripped from his touch. I swallowed and closed my eyes.

Nadia sat up from where she sat.

"Game! Yay! Tyler game" She reached and pulled Tyler's attention. Tyler slowly turned to Nadia, blinking slowly. Jake sighed and leaned against me.

"They're all wasted. Don't pay attention" He mumbled into my ear. I turned and looked at him. "Are you?" I whispered. "Drunk?” I glanced over his eyes.

“—Or wasted I mean" I stumbled over my words. He sighed and set down his drink.

"I've had a few drink, I'm fine" He smiled pressing his lips against my face. I let out a breath and nodded feeling a sickening feeing in my stomach. I don’t know what I was thinking.

"Game. You in skinny?" Lacey tilted her head at me. My gut clenched. Nadia hit her. "You promised" She snapped glaring at her. I looked between them feeling frozen in my skin.

"It was a joke" She chuckled. "You knew it was a joke right?" She turned to me and raised her eyebrows. Everyone turned to me. I forced a smile.

Friends, Friends, Friends.

"Y-Yeah" I nodded. Lacey nodded and turned back to the table. Jake took in a breathed and gripped my leg.

"Yeah-Yeah Lacey stop being such a cunt and play the game huh?" He snapped at her. She glared up at him. They stared at each other for a minute.

"Fine, hand me the deck" She glared at Jake, holding her hand out for Gavin. Gavin sighed and bend down before handing her a deck of cards.

"What game is this?" I asked turning to Jake. Jake kept glaring at Lacey. Lacey slapped down the deck of cards.

"Easy" Lacey snapped my attention. "Grab a card, read what it says, do it or drink" She smiled. I blinked at her before snapping out of it and nodding.

"Ladies go first" She slid the deck to me. I blinked up at Jake and he just looked at me, as everyone did. I swallowed as I reached down and picked up the first one on top.

My eyes glanced over it.

"Tell a secret, or drink."

I felt sick. I looked up at Lacey. She smiled and raised her eyebrows. I looked over at Jake as I set down the card. "Well?" Lacey crossed her arms over her chest. I looked at the ground.

"Um.." I thought. A secret? I looked up at the drinks layed against the table in front of us. Each one looking less appetizing than the next.

"It doesn't have to be a huge one, Y/n" Jake leaned into me. I tapped my foot and nodded.

"I--" I shook my head. "I--accidently killed my hamspter when I was 7" I nodded remembering the first thing I could. They blinked at me. Lacey shook her head and Nadia chuckled.

"Damn" Tyler chuckled. "Boring" Lacey announced before picking up at card herself and sighing as her eyes glanced over the words.

"Kiss someone you've previously hooked up with or drink" She read. Her eyes looked up at mine. She smiled before she stood and walked over to where I was sitting. My eyes widened before she leaned down and then I realized who she was going for.

"Lace-" Jake mumbled before she pressed her lips to his, while his hand still rested on my legs. My eyes widened and I felt my heart start to beat as I stared at their lips connected.

Jake?

They’d hooked up?

I looked away from them as she parted and chuckled.

Jake looked down at me. I didn't look up at him suddenly feeling sick to my stomach. I looked up at Nadia who looked sadly at me. I pulled my leg from his touch and Jake sighed.

"Y/n" He breathed trying to get my attention.

I’d knew Lacey had just done it to embarrass me, and it worked. I just don’t know why Jake never mentioned it before.

"Who's next?" Lacey smiled. Nadia leaned forward before taking a card.

The game went on like this. Jake stopped trying to get my attention and I just listened and watched as Nadia gave Tyler a lap dance, Jake downed a shot, and Tyler and Gavin wrestled on the ground.

"Your turn" Lacey pushed the card towards me. I sighed before picking up another card. I clenched my jaw as I started to read the card.

"Take off your shirt or drink" I read. Tyler leaned back. "This should be good" He chuckled. Jake glared at him. I pursed my lips as Lacey held back a laugh. I placed the card down before reaching for the bottle in front of me.

"Cop-out" Lacey mumbled. I glared at her before bringing the bottle up to my lips. At first it didn't taste like anything as I drank it like water, it going down so easily.

"Not----that much" Jake grabbed the bottle from me.

Then it burned.

I coughed as the foul tasted hit me like a ton of bricks. I leaned forward as my hand came to my throat, attempting to wipe away the burning from the outside.

Jake put his hand on my back.

"Are you okay?" He breathed. I sat up and looked at everyone'e eyes on me. "I'm fine" I snapped. He sighed and took his hand off my back.

Lacey wasn't winning. I wasn't going to let her. She could try to embarrass me with this cards all night, but I was just going to drink every time.

-

I was smiling. Genuinely smiling. It felt so good. I giggled as Jake leaned over me as I layed against the couch.

Everyone forgot about the game a few minutes ago.Lacey pre-occupied with Gavin and Nadia with Tyler, their conversations drowing out through everyone else in the house.

"There are a lot of people in your house" I giggled. He nodded and smiled. "There is" He smiled and nodded. I sighed and closed my eyes. Everything felt like it was fuzzing, like the muscles under my skin were bubbling, keeping me warm.

"Are you okay?" His hand came over my hip. I nodded and smiled, my eyes still closed.

"'M happy" I chuckled blinking my eyes open. "Your happy?" He asked chuckling. I nodded as I looked up at him.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you today" Jake breathed as he looked down at me. I smiled and pointed to myself. "Me?" I chuckled. He nodded and closed his eyes. I sighed and looked off.

“I wish Matt was here, he would like feeling this--I feel free" I said as I spread my arms out. Jake pursed his lips and looked down at me.

"You know he's into you right?"

I looked up at him. "Matt?" I asked my eyes widening. He nodded. I shook my head and giggled. Everything just felt funny.

"No-Matt he's....not into anything" I chuckled shaking my head. Jake stared down at me.

"He's into you. I can see it in the way he glares at me" He chuckled. I shook my head furrowing my eyebrows. "I would know Jake. He-He would have told me" I chuckled, leaning into Jake's arm. Jake's gaze just followed me.

"Alright, no more drinks for you" He brushed hair behind my ear. I rolled my eyes and pushed his arm. He smiled as he leaned over me and pressed his lips to mine softly. I smiled as I kissed him back.

"Do you wanna go upstairs? It's quieter up there, somewhere for you to lay down" He mumbled against my lips. I smiled and nodded. He smiled before leaning up and helping me up off the couch. I leaned into him as he held me up as we walked out of the room.

I felt like my body was as light as a feather. I couldn’t stop smiling. This was great. Jake was great.

I chuckled as we made it to the stairs. He held my hand as we walked up the steps. I stumbled missing one of the steps. My hand grasped the rail. Has stairs always been this hard?

"Are you okay?" He laughed pulling me up. I nodded as we continued to walk. He pulled me into this room before he closed the door.

His hands came to my waist and his lips came down on me. I kissed him back and smiled as I wrapped my arms around his neck. His hands came over my hips, gripping my skirt.

As I kissed him back, my hands coming over his hands. I knew my skirt was riding up, and I didn’t want to be on full display.

He released his grip and his hand came under my skin and he guided me towards his bed continuing to kiss me.

I laid down before he crawled over me. He smiled as he pushed his tonuge in my mouth sloppily. His hand pulled my leg up before his hand grazed my knee and trailed down my leg.

He moved his lips to my neck. I looked up at the ceiling.

"D-Did you really hook up with Lacey?" I breathed as I remembered the events from earlier. He lifted for a moment.

"It was a long time ago" He mumbled before he pressed his lips harder agaisnt my neck. I blinked at the ceiling.

"Why didn't you tell me about it?" My eyebrows furrowed. He sighed and he looked up at me. "It wasn't relevant. We weren't ever together" He explained his hand gripping my chin. I looked up at him.

"Okay?" he breathed. I nodded. His lips returned to my neck and he bit down. I swallowed as pictures of Matt's face flushed through my mind. The way his eyes looked over my neck.

He let out a hard breath before he leaned over and tightened the strings to my hoodie to conceal my neck and tapped to his own neck. The same place where a mark laid on my own neck. As if to say:

Hide your hickeys better, I can see them.

"D-Don't give me hickeys" I quickly spoke. Jake lifted his head and his hands pushed throught my hair. "Why?" He questioned staring down at me.

I don't want Matt to see them.

"My-My dad. I don't want him--to see” I shook my head and closed my eyes. He sighed before he pressed his lips back to mine. I kissed him back trying to shut off my mind. I was drunk. I didn't know what drunk felt like, but this had to be it. The room was spinning. My mind was racing.

His hands came over both my legs before he pushed up my shirt and his hand trailed under my bra. I shifted under him, just trying to focus on kissing him back. He bit down on my lip.

"You’re so.." He mumbled and his hand came over my breast. I shuttered uncomfortably under his touch. No one had ever touched me like this before. “Hot” he finished squeezing down on me. I felt my body freeze.

His hand trailed the bottom of my skirt and passed under it.

I tore my lips from his. “Jake, wait” I breathed looking up at him. He stared down at me. “Let me make you feel good” He responded shortly before kissing the side of my face. I felt my breath quicken as his hands went back behind my bra, attempting to unclip it.

"Jake" I pushed his hand away. His hand came out from under my shirt. I sat up and looked down as he climbed off me.

"What?" He asked from behind me. I swallowed and pulled my skirt down suddenly feeling sick to my stomach.

"What?" He asked again. I bit my lip and looked down shaking my head. Why am I freaking out? I was freaking out. I couldn’t do this. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk.

He took in a hard breath.

"I just feel--I feel like--" I was choking on my words scared to even look back up at him. "It's a little fast for me. I-I-" Find your words. Find your words, Y/n. Don’t freak out.

"I've just drank and we shouldn't--"

"Why does that matter? Are you not not into me?" He spoke from behind me. I closed my eyes. I felt like my skin burned where he had touched me.

Plane rides, quiet nights, sleep

"I just-It's a little fast don't you think? I mean are we even together? I don’t know when we switched from friends to—" I stuttered turning and looking at him. He gapped at me and shook his head.

"We're having this conversation now?" He asked shaking his head.

"Well-I dont know? I’ve never done this. I don’t know what I’m doing” I shook my head.

"We're hooking up? Was that not what you wanted?" He said glaring at me. I could feel him start to get angry and my heart beat against my chest.

I looked down and my eyes watered. "I don't know what I want right now. I—" I shook my head. He took in a breath.

Reading, books, being sober.

"Are you kidding me?” I snapped. “Not what you want?” He snapped. “Y/n, it’s not that big of a deal” He shook his head. I just stared at the ground, unable to speak

"Is it that stupid mute kid? Is that what this is about? Did he get into your head?" He threw his hands up. I shook my head.

"Matt he's--"

"I gave you an in y/n. An in to my group--to a good highschool social life, you should thank me. Now you're sick of it? Now it’s too much?" He snapped. I swallowed and shook my head.

"I didn't realize--"

"What? Did you think I just liked hearing you talk?" He snapped. I closed my eyes and my hands came over my face. Disappear, Disappear.

"Do you know how many girl want to be in your postion right now? Do you know who I am to these people?" I stayed silent as I tried to swallow the lump in my throat.

“Jake I’m sorry” I whispered quietly. He took in a breath. “I didn’t mean to make you think-“ I turned to him.

"Come back or get out" He said. I looked up at him. He stared at me with a straight face. I opened my mouth before looking back down at my shoes.

I shook my head as I stood up off the bed and held in my emotions before I shut the door and walked down the stairs. I felt my eyes fill with tears as the loud music came back over my ears.

I swallowed as I blink just trying to focus, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t even walk down the steps without gripping the railing. I closed my eyes. Why did I do this to myself?

I pushed off the railing.

“You’re fine you’re fine” I whispered shaking my head. I pushed through people. Outside, just get outside.

I stumbled against the door harshly as I ripped it open.

Jake’s words played in my mind. The way he gripped me.

And I threw up.

-

I don't know how I got here but I did. It's like my feet knew where I was going before I did. I cried most of the way here. I knew my mascara had to be running. The walk was shorter that I remembered. But I didn’t remember most of the walking itself.

It was zigzagged and blurry.

You could have told me I teleported here and I would have believed you. Everything was still fuzzy. I hope Matt wouldn’t be mad that I was here.

Would be mad?

Tears sprung to my eyes.

Matt mad.

I knocked on the door softly. I stood back and wiped my nose as I stared at the door. My ears still buzzing from the loudness of the party I was just at. I couldn’t think. I barely had a strain of thoughts.

I knew Matt didn’t want me to come here after the party. But I couldn’t go home. I just couldn’t. I stared at the door. No one was coming. I looked down.

I couldn’t walk all the way home now, there’s no way I would make it. I knocked again, harder.

“Please Matt” I whispered. Nothing. I bit my lip and sat down leaning against the door. I sighed as I brought my hands up to my face.

Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

Why did you ever go to that party without Matt? What were you thinking? You didn’t know those people? Matt was right. God Matt was so right it hurt.

A few seconds later I felt the door open the door opened, I fell back before I looked up

Matt looked down at me, his eyes and mouth wide. I quickly sat up and stumbled up to my feet. Matt reached out and steadied me. I blinked up at him, humiliation all over my face.

I looked down.

“Please don’t be mad at me” My eyes filled with tears. He sighed and dropped his hands from me as I reached up and wiped my tears.

I looked up at him.

“I didn’t have fun at the party” I shook my head. He closed his eyes as sadness filled his face. I walked forward before pressing my head against his chest and hugging him.

He froze against me as I tried to take in a deep breath. His arms finally rested around me. He sighed as he leaned his head over mine. His hands rubbing my back.

“Matt, I’m so stupid.” I mumbled against him. He pulled me back before looking down at me. I turned away from him.

“I don’t look—-pretty right now. Don’t look at me” I said reaching up and wiping my tears. He grabbed my hands before pushing them down and his thumbs came under my eyes before wiping away the tears, replacing my owns I just looked up at him. His eyes met mine and he gave a sad smile.

I sighed and he grabbed my arm before pulling me into the house. I stumbled slightly and I reached up for his arm.

“Matt I—I don’t feel good” I whispered. His eyes widened and he held me up.

“I’m sorry” I apologized as I leaned into him. "Please tell me Chris isn't-" I hiccuped. "--Here, he'll yell. I'm tired of....yelling" I sighed as we walked through the hallway. Matt furrowed his eyebrows and looked down at me.

Matt pulled me into his room before he let me go, I fell down onto my knees and whined, like I couldn’t hold up my own body weight. Matt bent down with wide eyes before pushing my face up. His eyes scanned my face, as if checking for any injuries.

"Please don't be mad" I said closing my eyes. "I'm really--" I swallowed. "Drunk" I sighed as I laid against the floor. I blinked up at him and he took in a breath, closing his eyes as he sat down on the floor next to me.

I stared up at the ceiling. His hand came over my head as he moved the hair from my face. I swallowed as I turned and looked at him. He smiled softly. I leaned into his hand.

“I don’t know why you like me so much” I whispered. He just bit his lip. “I’m sorry for being a bad friend” I whispered. He lifted his hand from me before grabbing my arms and pulling me to a sitting position.

"I want you to talk to me" I breathed staring up at him. He just stared at me. "I just want to hear your voice Matt. I-" I felt my eyes fill up with tears.

"Just please tell me you're not mad at me." I whined. He stood up before grabbing my arms and pulling me up to my feet. I fell against him and his arms came around my waist. I sighed as I looked up at him. He stared down at me.

"I know you didn't want me to come over, but I--" I bit my lip. “I didn’t have anywhere else to go” I whispered.

"I don't like Jake anymore" I whispered shaking my head. He just looked at me. "He's not..." I closed my eyes. "He's not nice" I laid my head against him. I let out a breath.

"He's not like you" I whispered. He froze against me breifly, I barely felt it with the room going in out a focus. I groaned against him. He grabbed my waist before walking me over to his bed, I fell against the sheet.

He moved to unlace my shoes and I just watched him as the threw them on the floor. He pulled the covers over my body and looked down at me. His hand slightly went to brush the hair out of my face, but he froze.

I reached up and grabbed his hand before pressing it to my face and leaning against his warmth. He just watched me as if he was suprised from my action.

“You know what’s werid…” I whispered. He raised his eyebrows as he looked down at me. “Jake said that you were into me” I swallowed. I felt Matt’s hand freeze.

“I told him that he was crazy because—-I would know right?” I looked up at him. He didn’t react. “I feel like I would know. Because you put all your emotions on your face” I looked up at him. He turned away his cheeks pinkening.

"Do you like being my friend?" I whispered. He looked down at me for a second before nodding. I leaned against the pillow, dropping his hand from my face, but still holding it.

"He said he didn't like hearing me talk" I mumbled. Matt watched me. I closed my eyes. "He didn't want me to talk" I breathed. Matt's eyebrows furrowed.

"Do you feel that way too? Do I talk too much?" I asked my eyes filling with tears. He shook his head instantly before kneeling beside the bed. I looked at him and shook his head more. I sighed.

"Your eyes are blue" I smiled as I looked over his eyes. He smiled and shook his head.

"Sometimes when I looked at Jake's eyes--I'd imagine your eyes instead. Isn't that insane?" I asked glancing over at him. He stared blankly at me his mouth slightly parted and his eyes glanced over mine.

Our faces were inches apart. I swallowed as I stared at him feeling bubbling in my stomach. I swallowed.

"Is that insane?" I asked softer. He shook his head his eyes not leaving mine. Silence filled the room around us. I felt my heart beating hard against my chest and I felt our hands more than I should.

We just looked at each other. Like the other person was the only other one in the world. I glanced down his face. From his glasses to the tip of his nose, to his parted lips.

I just watched him and before I knew it I leaned forward slightly. As if my body was begging me to close the few inches left between us.

I felt his lips graze mine, his slightly brushing against my own. Then before they actually touched, they were gone. I froze. I blinked my eyes open. He swallowed as he pulled his hand from mine and sat back.

He pulled back. He pulled away.

We just stared at each other, like the other was as equally shocked at the others movements. His eyes wide as he looked at me. He closed his eyes and looked down as guilt filled his face.

I felt embarrassment wash over me like a truck. I felt sick to my stomach.

He pulled back from connecting our lips.

I'd tried to kiss him and he pulled back.

He hadn't wanted to kiss me.

I sat up and looked down wrapping my arms around myself, unable to look at him. I felt like I was gonna throw up again.

"I'm so sorry. I-I don't know why I did that" I shook my head turning away from him so he didn't see the tears lining my eyes. The shear embarrassment that was radiating off my face.

For a second there was silence I could feel him looking at me. I closed my eyes wanting to disappear, wanting to punch myself in the face for everything I’ve done tonight. I felt like an idiot.

He stood up before taking in a breath.

He leaned over before writing something. He set it down next to me. I avoided looking at it as he walked out of the room.

I stared down at my hands as I felt a tear fall down the bridge of my nose as I heard the door shut. I reached up and wiped it.

I finally glanced at the paper sitting there once I knew he wasn't coming back.

get some sleep y/n

I closed my eyes and turned over hugging the covers too me, hoping this night would erase from my memory by the morning as I drifted off into sleep with Matt's scent surrounding me. As I slept in his bed, under his covers, without him.

They way I'm addicted to this like a drug is not okay

‘THIS IS (NOT) EASY’ — MATTHEW STURNIOLO

pairing. matthew sturniolo x fem!reader genre. smut, fluff, angst

word count. 13.7k

❝being in this friends with benefits relationship with you was not as easy as i thought it would be...❞

content warnings. friends with benefits au, crack humour, explicit content, oral (f & m receiving), fingering, squirting, p in v, unprotected sex (creampies), big dick matt, doggy position, alcohol consumption and mentions of weed, flirty!chris,

—authors note. i've actually written this before but for a different person on another blog. so if you happen to stumble across that somehow and notice the similarities, its me lol. i just liked the plot so much and i wanted to use it for matt.

“Wait, you what?!”

You gasp out loud, not caring about the loudness of your tone, voice piercing throughout the library alongside the squeaking legs of your chair across the wooden flooring as you abruptly straight up in your seat. 

Other students with their heads shoved in books and laptop screens peek over in curiosity while one irritated classmate leans over the table to shush you angrily, warning you about the volume of your voice but you pay them no mind, gaze fixed on Matt who sits across from you sheepishly.

Matthew Sturniolo—one of the heartthrobs on campus, the quiet and mysterious type that turns curious heads, and undoubtedly the kindest guy in class has been your best friend for the past few years. You met during a practice hockey game where fourteen-year-old Matt had tried to score a goal to impress his brothers and newfound friends, only for the hockey puck to come flying over the glass barrier, hurling straight towards your face and leaving you with a swollen eyeball and a busted up nose.

Matt was unbelievably apologetic, going to extreme lengths by buying candies and ripping up flowers from potted plants to give to you whenever you both crossed paths, begging for your forgiveness over and over again desperately until you socked him in the face, giving him a hefty nosebleed and a bruised cheek in return. 

A toothy grin spread across your cheeks and you finally had accepted the gifts out of his hands, a happy ‘now we’re even!’ leaving your lips as you had ripped open the candies, offering him a treat, offering him your friendship.

The two of you became inseparable and if someone saw one of you, they knew that the other would be trailing along behind them. You were two peas in a pod—the dynamic duo. You were so joined at the hip that when you both enrolled for college, you tried signing up for a dorm on campus, wanting and hoping to be roommates. 

It didn’t happen.

Matt ended up rooming with one of his friends, Tyler, while you got stuck with some girl you didn’t even know but had become acquainted with over a short period of time. 

Still, you and Matt never strayed far from each other even with your roommates in the picture. He sleeps over at your place every now and then, and vice versa. You’re certain that he’s even claimed a whole drawer in your dresser, filled with his spare shirts, sweatpants and underwear.

A lot of your mutual friends, including his brothers, found it suspicious how you two could be so close without anything going on between you both, complaining how the two of you can’t be just friends. It was partially the truth.

You are not just friends, you’re best friends.

“I’m just saying, that you’re complaining about not hooking up with someone for a few days while I haven’t slept with someone for, like, a month,” Matt repeats to you with flushed cheeks, adjusting the black cap on his head with one hand while the other skilfully twirls a pen around his fingers, “Times are hard, kid. I got assignments up to my ass—”

“There’s no way you haven’t hooked up with someone lately,” You hiss through gritted teeth, refusing to believe a word that comes out of his mouth when he’s talking about such nonsense. 

A nearby student from the table next to yours shifts around in their seat in annoyance to look at you, pressing their finger aggressively against their lips to tell you to quiet down and you scoff in response, throwing them the middle finger with your own irritancy and annoyance.

“Can you not?” Matt scolds as his hand firmly wraps around your own, squeezing in warning as he guides it back down to the table. He offers an apologetic smile to the student, and as always, it works like a charm as they shyly smile back and resume their work. Another scoff leaves your lips and Matt turns his attention back to you. “I’m telling you the truth, you know.”

“Bullshit,” You murmur, sending him a glare. “That girl from my study group was over at your dorm last weekend—I saw her Snapchat stories.”

“Dude, we’re both in the same study group. She came over for some of my notes and ended up staying longer because Tyler offered her an ounce of his ‘premium weed’,” Matt explains, adding a sarcastic emphasis around the word ‘premium weed’ which has you snorting, knowing that there was nothing premium about Tyler’s stash. “She eventually ended up staying over and hooking up with Chris anyways.”

Your face contorts into a look of confusion at that, “What? Chris? He isn’t even your roommate.”

“I know. Tyler’s sheets are still in the dryer,” Matt grimaces. “But Nick has had this ‘sex-free’ policy on his and Chris’ dorm ever since that guy screwed him over last weekend.” 

“Oh…” You pause, amused at Nick’s new policy, but then the realisation finally hits you. “So that’s why Tyler didn’t have any sheets on his bed when I came over on Monday.”

“Y—wait, you came over Monday?” Matt snaps his head towards you, eyes narrowing as he jabs his pen in your direction. “Did you fuck in my bed?!”

“No. Of course not,” You gasp, deeply offended by his accusation and Matt lets out a sigh of relief, relaxing his shoulders as he leans back into his chair. “We actually fucked on the couch—”

“Are you fucking kidding me—”

“That’s besides the point!” You cut him off before he can grill you, silencing him by raising your hand in front of his face when he tries to retaliate again. “The fact remains, Matt, is that you haven’t fucked anyone in a whole month. And that’s like… I don’t know, it’s like blasphemy!”

Matt deadpans, his expression devoid of amusement. “I’m pretty sure that’s not blasphemy.”

“Whatever. You know what I mean,” You dismiss, shoving your books and pens as far away from you as you possibly could, no longer interested in studying the endless amount of words on that page now that you’ve discovered your best friend hasn't hooked up with anyone in so long. You sit comfortably in your chair as you fully give him your attention, tucking your legs beneath you. “I can’t believe it…”

“You’re telling me,” Matt huffs, deciding to set aside his own studies too. He rubs his face in frustration, groaning beneath his palms. You console him with a frown, reaching out to rub his shoulder in sympathy. Matt’s hands drop to his lap, and he shoots you a glare, “I can’t believe you didn’t believe me. Why would I lie about something like that?!”

You’re quick to defend yourself, “You fuck more than I do. Of course I'm not gonna believe a word you say when you tell me something like that!” 

And it’s true, Matt does have a higher number of sexual encounters compared to you. His boyish charm and adorable face doesn’t hide the fact that his body count is probably in the twenties, and that his online bank statements are likely to reveal the frequent purchases of packs of condoms (and maybe a few Plan B pills for extra precaution). Matt has always been cautious and responsible, which doesn’t surprise you. He’s not one to take unnecessary risks or potentially impregnate someone, especially a stranger.

“You didn’t have to say it out loud like that…” Matt mutters under his breath, cheeks dusting a slight shade of pink as another student turns around in their seat to glare at the pair of you, but her eyes widen comically as she sees Matt. Shyly, she tucks her hair behind her ears with a kind smile that Matt reciprocates. You lean back in your seat with a roll of your eyes just as Matt brings his attention back to you, “Are we done with this conversation? I’d rather talk about something more interesting than my nonexistent sex life.”

“Fine,” You relent. “Are you going to Nate’s later?”

“No, kid’s got some important hockey meeting or something, so we’re hanging another time,” Matt sighs softly, removing his cap to run his fingers through his hair before readjusting it. “Would you be cool if I came over yours?”

“Sure,” You grin, already shoving your belongings into your bag, eager to leave the library as soon as possible. Matt’s lip curls up in amusement as he follows in suit, packing his own things into his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder. 

As you glance over, you notice the girl still staring at Matt and a mischievous smirk forms on your face as you slam your hand on the desk in front of her, capturing her attention.

You jab your thumb in Matt’s direction and you teasingly offer, “If you want his number. I can give it to you. He’s been stuck in a dry spell recently, so—”

Before you can finish your sentence, Matt’s fingers curl around your elbow, yanking you away from the bewildered girl with a huff, “Move.”

“I’ve been thinking about something…” You break the comfortable silence between you both after a few hours of binge-watching a series and indulging in takeout, dropping your pizza crust into the cardboard box and pushing it aside. Matt sits beside you on the couch, his own pizza in hand, gaze fixed on the TV screen, listening to what the characters are saying.

Matt glances at you with a quick, pointed look as he chews, “That doesn’t sound good.”

“Wow. Funny.” You deadpan with a roll of your eyes and he chuckles under his breath, turning his attention back to the TV screen. “Anyway, and hear me out before you say some dumb shit. I’ve been thinking about something that relates to that little problem we both have, and I may have come up with a way to fix it.”

“Why are you still hung up on this?” Matt complains between mouthfuls. “I don’t want to be constantly reminded that I’m not having sex—”

You quickly raise your hand to hush him and he goes cross eyed to stare at your palm in confusion. “I said hear me out.”

“Fine.”

“Great!“ You exclaim with a grin, “Okay, so, you and I are the best of friends, right? We always help each other out and—”

“Where is this going?”

“Hear. Me. Out.” You warn once more, emphasising each word. Matt sighs, nodding his head for you to continue. “We always help each other out, correct? And there’s no awkwardness between us, which is what also makes us so close. Remember that time we had to make out in front of Jeremy so he would stop hitting on me? And that time I pretended to be your girlfriend so Gracie would get the hint that you didn’t want to sleep with her anymore?”

“Well, yeah, but that didn’t exactly work out because we ended up hooking up with them a few days after it happened—”

“That’s not the point,” You say as you frustratingly rub at your temples. “The point is that we always help each other, no matter what the situation is, because we’re best friends. So, as best friends, I think we should help each other out with our little situation.”

“And how can we help each other out?”

“By fucking each other.”

The second those words leave your mouth, Matt chokes on his food, banging his fist against his chest as he coughs, his eyes watering and face turning red. The sight of his reaction has you cackling, wishing you had your phone nearby to take a picture.

After a few moments, Matt manages to regain his breath, reaching down to grab his bottle of water from the side of the couch and gulping it down almost immediately.

You click your tongue against your teeth, a playful smirk on your face. “That was a little dramatic.”

“And you’re crazy,” Matt shoots back, water droplets trickling down his chin as he looks at you with wide eyes. “Do you realise what you just said?”

You nod your head, “Perfectly.”

“We are not fucking. It’ll be weird,” Matt says, you instantly find offence to that, your jaw dropping in disbelief. Matt rolls his eyes at your reaction. “We’re best friends. Best friends don’t do that type of shit—Stop looking at me like that!”

You huff, turning your head away from him childishly. “I’m just trying to help us out. I don’t think it’ll be weird… people have done weirder.”

“Are you aware of how many friendships have been ruined because they fucked?” Matt questions you and you take a moment to ponder, wincing as you can easily name a few from the top of your head. “Exactly. As much as I find you attractive, I’m not going to ruin our friendship. We’ve been best friends for too long.”

Your head slowly turns back to Matt, who’s already looking at you. A grin spreads across your face as you flirtatiously bat your eyelashes at him, “You think I’m attractive?”

“My god, you’ve un-fucking-believable, I swear…” Matt trails off, muttering under his breath as he rubs at his forehead in frustration. You beam at the thought of getting under his skin, but eventually you roll your eyes and reach over to press your foot into his side, playfully nudging him to bring his attention back to you. 

Matt looks over at you with a deadpan expression and you continue to grin at him, tilting your head to the side as you admire the view.

Truthfully, you’ve always found Matt attractive even if it was in a friendly way and you’d be lying if you said that hooking up with him has never crossed your mind, but that’s mainly because you’re nosy and want to see what all the fuss is about when you constantly hear the girls fawn about what he’s like in bed.

Some say he’s extremely giving, tending to their needs in all ways possible. Some also say he’s demanding and rough, one hand curled into their hair as he’s fucking them from behind, spitting out degrading words into their ears. But you’ve also heard that he sometimes comes across as needy and desperate, begging for his cock to be sucked and to be made a mess out of.

It piques your interest a lot… maybe it’s wrong of you to think that way about someone you know so well, but you’re human after all, sometimes you can’t help the way you think about certain people.

“Look,” You speak up first, letting out a sigh. “What I said was just a suggestion, okay? If you don’t want to do it, then that’s fine—”

“How do you know that it won’t ruin our friendship?” Matt cuts you off and your eyebrows raise in surprise at the question. “We’ve been best friends for, like, six years or something right? I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to throw that all away because we messed up and decided to fuck each other just because we’re ‘sex deprived’.”

“We’re not going to get into anything super serious,” You reassure him, crossing your arms over your chest. “Sure, we’re probably going to end up in some type of friends with benefits situation, but we’re not going to include any of that official or exclusive title bullshit. We just hook up for a release when we can’t find it anywhere else, it’s as simple as that. No complications.”

“So…” Matt purses his lips in deep thought. “We can still fuck other people?”

You scoff, “Of course. You think I’d drop Tyler for you that easily?”

“Fuck you.”

Your lips curl into a smirk, “I’m hoping you would.”

Matt stares at you for a brief moment before chuckling, shaking his head as his tongue prods at his cheek. The little action spurs something within you but you remain seated, wanting Matt to be the one to make the first move if he was game in fucking you to help relieve the stress you’re both feeling… maybe Matt a little more considering that you fucked Tyler a few days prior, but you were desperate to be filled again. 

You watch Matt sit in silence for a moment, seemingly deep in his thoughts as his eyebrows knit together, thinking about the pros and cons. His hands come up to pull the cap off of his head completely, his hair messily falling in front of his eyes and your thighs press together as the thought of seeing it between your legs with your fingers threading through the locks. 

You internally laugh at how deluded you sound.

“What time does your roommate get back tonight?” Matt questions you, his low tone bringing you out of your own thoughts and your body buzzes with excitement, fumbling as you reach over to snag your phone off the coffee table to check the time, informing him that she won’t be home for another three hours. “Alright. Good to know.”

“So?” You press, dropping your phone back down as you look at him expectedly. “What’s it going to be?”

Matt takes a deep breath, “No titles.”

“None at all.”

“We can still fuck whoever we want.”

“Whoever, whenever.”

“And most importantly…” Matt pauses with a deep sigh, leaning over the couch closer to you and he holds up his hand, his pinkie outstretched. “We’re still best friends.”

“It’ll be like nothing ever changed.” You promise softly with a smile, curling your pinky finger around his own, squeezing it tightly to keep your promise.

It’s silent between you both for a while, and you can clearly see the cogs turning inside Matt’s head as he thinks about his next move, yet you’re the one that decides to take that initiative.

You rip your hand away from his to throw your arms around his shoulders, fingers buried into his locks as you drag him towards you to eagerly plant your lips on his. You’re surprised at how fast Matt responds to the kiss as his hands come up to cup your cheeks, tilting his head to the side to kiss you deeper, slipping his tongue into your mouth.

The plenty drunken kisses you’ve shared with Matt to help each other out of sticky situations is nothing like the kiss you’re experiencing right now, and it catches you extremely off guard. You were expecting him to allow you to take control of what was happening and lead him through it considering you were the one to bring it up, but with the way Matt’s pushing you backwards to lay you down on the couch and crawling between your open legs with his lips still attached to yours, you’re stumped. 

“Wait,” You stop him, pressing your palm against his chest to push him back and Matt moves away with raw, wet lips, his fingers hovering above the waistband of your shorts. “Why are we doing this on the couch? I have a bed we can use.”

Matt glares down at you, “That didn’t stop you and Tyler from fucking on my couch.”

“Actually, there were no sheets on Tyler’s bed, so—”

“Think of this as payback,” Matt smiles at you sweetly and you snarl, knocking your leg against his side with force and he laughs through clenched teeth, “Besides, you’ve probably fucked a lot of people on this couch… Do you really care?”

You blink up at him. “Are you implying that I’m a slut?”

Matt shrugs, “Maybe, yeah.”

“That’s so hot of you.”

Matt chuckles and leans down to reconnect your lips, fingers unbuttoning your shorts and pulling them down your legs with your underwear, carelessly throwing them somewhere to the side and you hiss at the cold air that hits, yearning for warmth.

Matt’s lips trail down your throat and to the collar of your shirt, nipping and sucking at your skin, heading south to where your thighs shake in anticipation. Your bottom lip catches between your teeth as you watch him shuffling down to lay between your legs, hands pushing against your knees to spread you further apart, the coldness of his rings prickling at your skin.

Your own hand reaches down to thread your fingers through his hair, trying to tug him closer but he barely budges, gazing up at you with his brows knit together.

You whine, “Hurry.”

“Are you always this impatient?”

“Of course,” You look at him like he’s stupid. “We’re both doing this for a reason and it’s to cum, not to take our sweet little time and—Oh shit…”

“Fucking yapping. You talk too much.” Matt drags his tongue through your folds, the pink muscle swirling over your clit and your body jerks in shock at the sensation, a gasp fleeting past your lips as your grip on his hair tightens, feeling his tongue wiggle between your folds and licking upwards to flick over your clit before his fingers tease at your entrance.

Your body goes slack against the couch cushions, mouth stuck open as he eases two digits inside the warmth of your pussy, curling his fingers upwards as his lips wrap around your sensitive clit and you whine, tugging at his hair a little harder which causes him to groan, the vibrations causing goosebumps to shoot up your spine.

You’re in shock at how well Matt actually uses his tongue and fingers. Of course you’ve heard stories from your girl friends and even Matt himself, but you didn’t expect him to be this good and it completely catches you off track, unable to control the noises that rip from the back of your throat when he begins to pump his fingers in and out of your cunt while using his tongue to work wonders on your clit.

“Matt,” You whisper his name with a moan, thighs twitching and closing in around his head. You feel him smirk against your pussy and you squeeze your thighs in warning. “Stop it.”

“Don’t tell me you’re going to cum already?” He asks, his tone a little condescending as he raises his head, mouth glistening with your arousal. His fingers continue hitting that spot that has your toes curling and back arching against the cushions. “You can cum, if you want.”

“You’re so fucking cocky,” You tut, fighting the urge to smile but you amusement ends up slipping away and is overcome b y pleasure as he pumps his fingers a few more times, the tightening band in your stomach snapping as you cum all over his fingers, gasping through high pitched whines and trying to control the convulsing movement of your body.

“That’s it,” Matt hums, pressing a quick kiss to your pussy. “Good job.”

You choke out your words, unable to come up with a full sentence as your hand falls limp onto his shoulder, fingers twitching over the material as you breathe heavily. “What the fuck was that?!”

“Me eating you out,” He answers matter-of-factly, a hint of smugness in his tone as he pops his fingers into his mouth to lick them clean. Your mouth drops in shock at the action and he meets your gaze, “You good?”

“Yeah… good.” You nod dumbly, completely astonished at how nonchalant Matt is acting as you watch him tug his sweatpants and boxers down his legs awkwardly when he sits up, eyes automatically zoning in on his cock that slaps against his stomach once freed from its confinements. 

Honestly, you have seen Matt naked. He’s comfortable with stripping in front of you and changing without any thought. But… you’ve never seen Matt hard, and the sight alone is enough to have your mouth watering.

Your best friend is huge.

“Okay,” Matt mumbles to himself, crawling forward and hooking his hands under the back of your knees to pull you closer to him, his thumbs caressing your skin. “Are you sure you’re ready? You know there’s no turning back from this, right?”

“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be,” You grin as you wiggle against him excitedly. “Give me what you got, sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me that.” Matt clicks his tongue against his teeth, shaking his head as he slowly eases his cock into you. Slowly, your eyes start to widen at the stretch, the burn obvious in your core and thighs, and your hand flies down to his in hopes to slow down his movements despite him going as slow as he possibly can.

You try to breathe steadily through your nose, lips pressed together tightly as your wince at the uncomfortable ache that spreads, your pussy clamping down on him as if you were trying to prevent him from pushing any further.

“Ow.” You whisper, twisting your hips to try and get comfortable and relax but you wince at each movement you make, causing Matt to raise his gaze from where you’re connected to look into your eyes, his own pooling with concern.

“Are you okay?”

You hum with a curt nod of your head, “Nothing of that significant size has been up there before, you know? I’m just… feeling uncomfortable, that’s all.”

Matt’s lips curl into a grin, “You calling my dick big?”

You send him a hardened glare, “Not as big as your fucking head.”

Matt laughs loudly and he lays his hand flat across your lower stomach as he adjusts himself between your legs, head ducking down slightly to watch himself slowly push into you once more, but the second your legs tense up, he sighs apologetically and strokes your stomach, sliding his cock out of you and you whine at the sudden feeling of emptiness, looking at him with a pout.

“Give me a second, okay?” Matt orders you, gently grabbing your waist to help turn you around on all fours. The brows pinch together at the new position, but your body seems to relax when you feel his hands slide around your back and press down tightly, arching it to hold you in place as you feel his cock at your entrance once more. “This should feel better. But tell me if it hurts? I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”

“Just—” You grit your teeth together. “Just fuck me, Matt.”

“You got it.” Matt whispers as he pushes himself back into you again at a slower pace and you gasp, your fingers gripping the arm of the couch, head dropping low to rest on the cushions as you try to control your breathing. The new position was definitely better than the last, but you can still feel him stretch you out to fit you around his cock. “Is my dick really that big?”

“Are you asking because you’re concerned or because you want me to boost your ego?”

Matt smiles, “Maybe both.”

You don’t even get the chance to retaliate with your own snarky comment as Matt fills you up completely, hips pressing to your ass and cry out at how full you’re feeling, unable to think properly as he pulls back, leaving the tip nestled in your cunt before thrusting back in.

Matt curses loudly behind you, fingers digging into your ski as he rocks his hips into you, his thrusts sending your body jerking forwards. You squeeze around his cock and he grunts, changing his pace and you can’t help but fuck youtself back onto him, whining and panting at the pleasure that swirls in the pit of your tummy. 

The lewd sounds of skin slapping against skin is enough to have your eyes rolling back in pleasure, driving you even closer to the edge along with his rapid thrusts and continuous cursing. You’re positive you can even hear him praise you a little bit, muttering about how tight your pussy is. 

You would’ve never guessed he was into such dirty talk. Matt continues to amaze you.

Your pussy clamps around his cock when you feel his hand sneak beneath your body to reach between your thighs, the pads of his fingers rubbing diligent circles on your clit and you mewl, your own hand coming down to latch around his wrist.

“Shit,” You slur your words, drool seeping past the corner of your lips. “So good—fuck, Matt, don’t stop—s’good.”

“You’re funny if you think I’m gonna stop.” Matt chuckles behind you and you can feel the tears build up in your waterline as Matt leans over your body, holding himself up with one hand on the arm of the couch, his other still rubbing circles on your clit. You gasp as how deep he’s nestled within you and it has you seeing stars, your toes curling and your body tensing up as his cock fucks into your cunt, repeatedly hitting that spot over and over before your second orgasm of the night hits you violently. 

Your screams are muffled by the cushions, walls pulsating around his cock as you cum, struggling to hold up your own weight as your body falls limp on the couch. Pleasure buzzes through your veins and it sends you mind whirling as Matt fucks you through it to reach his own high, moving his hand from your clit to rest on your lower back, arching your ass up to fuck you deeper.

“Where do you want me to cum?” He pants heavily, thumb stroking the bottom of your spine. “Fuck—tell me where I can cum.”

“Anywhere you want.” You slur your words, craning your head to the side to look at him, capturing how his eyes widen slightly.

“Anywhere?” Matt repeats as he slows down his movements and you nod your head, only to yelp in shock when he pulls out of you completely and flips your body around once more. You stare at him in surprise as he crawls up your body, resting a hand on your cheek and pulling down your bottom lip with his thumb. “Here?”

You don’t give him a verbal answer, instead you open wide, welcoming him and Matt grins, pushing the head of his cock into your mouth and sighing as your lips close around him, suckling on his tip as he cums in long spurts down your throat, brows knitting together in pleasure and moaning softly as your tongue presses against his slit, swallowing everything he gives you. 

There’s a comfortable silence as Matt removes himself from above you, choosing to drop down in the limited space between your body and the couch, running his fingers through his sweaty hair as he tries to catch his breath.

It takes you a few seconds to comprehend what had just happened, staring between Matt’s naked lower half and yours before you abruptly sit up, rolling onto your knees that pop as you stare down at him incredulously. 

“Matt!” You screech, punching his shoulder with such force that has him wincing. 

“Ow!” He hisses, rubbing the area. “Why—”

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me you were that good?” You immediately cut him off, not allowing him to finish as you shake your head quickly. “We should’ve done this ages ago!”

Matt rolls his eyes in annoyance despite the grin that spreads across his cheeks as he throws his arm over his face, “Shut up.”

“Okay, so, let me get this straight,” Nick pauses to chew and swallow his sandwich, pointing between you and Matt on the opposite side of the table. “You two decided to hook up last night because neither of you have hooked up with anyone in a long time, and now you’ve made some sort of deal that when you can’t find release somewhere else, you’ll go to each other?”

“Yeah.”

“What the actual fuck?!” Nick exclaims, looking at you both as if you’ve grown an extra head before abruptly turning to Chris and Tyler who are sitting beside each other silently, watching everything unfold. “Why are you guys saying anything?!”

“I don’t think it’s as bad as you’re making it out to be,” Chris shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly before he turns his attention to you, furrowing his eyebrows. “Although, I am kind of offended you didn’t ask me to fuck you.”

You grimace, “It makes me queasy thinking about where your dick has been, if I’m honest.”

“When was the last time you got tested?” Matt teases his younger triplet, a slight smirk curling at the ends of his lips as he leans back into his chair, hands shoved deep into his pockets as he manspreads. Chris rolls his eyes and retaliates by throwing him the middle finger.

“And you’re okay with this?” Nick questions Tyler who slowly nods his head as he rolls a blunt beneath the table, lips pursed in concentration. 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Tyler questions back, lifting his gaze to Nick and raising a brow before looking back down to his lap. “We just fuck, that’s it. And besides, sometimes I get so faded that I can’t even get my dick up. She needs good dick and I can’t give it to her when I’m that out of it.”

You gasp in awe, reaching across the table to grip his arm. “You are so thoughtful!”

“So I’m the only sane fucking person that thinks this is a stupid idea?” Nick shakes his head in disbelief, biting into his sandwich with a deep sigh. His eyes suddenly widen, a piece of lettuce hanging from his mouth as he erratically pats his pockets. “Where’s Nate? Somebody text Nate right now.”

“Please, you know damn well Nate isn’t going to give a shit,” Chris cackles with a grin, adjusting the beanie on his head. “Pretty sure he fucked his girl best friend last year.”

“Yeah? And where is she now?” Nick looks at all of you expectedly for an answer and you frown, sinking into your seat with your arms crossed over your chest. “Exactly.”

“Come on, kid, it’s not like that…” Matt tries to explain. “We talked about it. We’re not doing any of that exclusive or official title stuff. We’re not making it weird.”

“Meaning we can still hook up with whoever we want.” You add on, eyes flickering over to Tyler and you give him a pretty smile, only for him to look back at you with a smirk and give you a flirtatious wink.

“So, what I’m hearing is,” Chris pauses, leaning his elbows on the table and resting his chin on the palm of his hand as he bats his eyelashes at you. “There’s still a chance for me?”

Nick immediately plugs his ears as he repeatedly mumbles, “I don’t not want to hear this. Stop it immediately. I hate it.”

“Hate what?” Nate’s voice interrupts from behind and you whiz around in your seat, grinning widely as you see Nate approaching your table with his hockey jersey in one hand and his books in the other. 

He greets you all with a smile, placing his belongings down on the table before grabbing an empty chair from another, the metal legs scraping across the floor as he drags it to place beside Matt, slapping his hand down on Matt’s shoulder in greeting as he sits down. 

“What are you talking about anyway?”

“They hooked up,” Nick immediately jumps straight into it as he points at the two of you and you sigh, throwing your head back in frustration. Matt laughs beside you. “And they’re going to continue to hook up whenever they don’t have anyone else to go to, so—”

“Oh, nice man.”

Nick stares at Nate, “No. Not nice. Not nice at all,” Nick shakes his head. “You’re all helpless. Dumb and helpless, every single one of you.”

Nate pulls a face, “I mean, it’s not as bad as you’re making it out to be—”

“That’s what I said~” Chris sings.

“And besides, they’re grown adults. They can do whatever they want.” Nate’s words make your brows raise with little surprise, watching as he flips open his book and grabs the pen that rests behind his ear, biting the cap off with his teeth before looking at you. “I’m surprised it took you both this look to actually hook-up… I thought it would’ve happened months ago.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just means I thought you two would’ve fucked months ago.” Nate smiles and shrugs his shoulders innocently, blowing the cap out of his mouth and watching it with his hand before he begins to scribble on the pages. You roll your eyes, glancing over at Matt who shrugs his own shoulders, not fully understanding the meaning of Nate’s words but chooses not to dwell on it any longer as he reaches for his drink, sipping through the straw as he gives his attention to Chris who angles his phone in his direction to show him something you could barely see. 

Nick shakes his head, still in disbelief as he shoves the last remaining bite of his sandwich into his mouth before grabbing his book out of his backpack to take notes alongside Nate. He then comically raises his head up to point his pen at you and Matt.

“Also, just to let you know, I don’t want to hear any complaining from either of you when this whole situationship bullshit ends up going to literal shit,” Nick warns before he slowly turns to the pen to point to himself, “Because I will laugh in your face and simply say, ‘I told you so’.”

A scoff leaves your lips as Matt speaks, “Relax, kid. Everything is going to be fine. Plus, this whole thing could just be a one time thing… It might not even happen again,” Matt turns to look at you. “Right?”

A smile finds its way onto your face as you lean your elbows on the table, chin resting on the palm of your hand as you give him an affirmative nod. “Right.”

“Fuck, Matt.” You moan out his name repeatedly, back arching off your bed, gripping the pillows resting behind your head with your mouth wide open. Matt’s fingers pump in and out of your pussy, squirting over his hand and splashing onto the bed sheets below you. 

He laughs as you shove your face into the crook of your arm, body trembling and breathing whines slipping past your lips from the overwhelming sensation of him fucking you with his fingers.

Your legs clamp shut around his hand but he’s already prying you back open with the other, holding them down to the bed as his fingers curl upwards, almost bringing you to tears at the pleasure in the pit of your tummy. 

“There we go…” Matt hums softly, milking you for every drop you can give. You quiver and gasp when Matt comes to a stop, the grin on his face evident as he pulls his fingers from your cunt and you whine, struggling to raise your foot and kick him in his side. He captures your ankle in his grasp, drawing circles with his fingertips. “You good?”

“You good?” You mock him, tone nasally. Your arms flop to your side as you take a deep breath, ignoring the way Matt’s laughing at you. “That was intense… I felt like I was going crazy.”

“Thank you,” Matt grins, eyes twinkling as he slips off your bed. “Your need to change your sheets though.”

“Wow. So gentlemanly of you to offer to help.” You mutter sarcastically under your breath, clicking your tongue against your teeth. You stand up from the bed and your knees buckle beneath you, causing you to panic and immediately reach out and grab onto a surface to steady yourself, throwing the middle finger up in Matt’s direction when he chuckles. 

He tells you to go shower while he takes care of the sheets and you immediately oblige, patting his arm in a quick thanks as you wobble out of your bedroom and into the bathroom, eager to clear yourself up after previous activities. 

You take longer than usual to shower, taking your time to scrub your body clean and even wash your hair, not even caring about what Matt could be doing inside your home as he waits for you, but you pause your routine when you actually begin to think about your relationship with Matt. 

It’s been almost three weeks since you started hooking up with Matt, showing up at each other's places whenever you’re in need of sex, getting it over and done with before hanging out properly, before even getting a bite to eat or binge watching a series. 

You still sleep with Tyler. You’ve even fucked Tyler and Matt on the same day. Matt doesn’t care, of course he doesn’t, and personally neither do you. But there have been a few moments where you start to recall the amount of times you had chosen Matt over Tyler… and it was a lot. 

You and Matt are supposed to fuck whenever you have no one else to go to. And yet, give the choice… you still chose Matt. 

A loud call of your name and a fist banging against the bathroom door startles you out of your thoughts, “I need to piss. Hurry up!”

“Just come in!” You yell back at him, frowning as you face the stream of water to let the soap run off your body as you mumble, “It’s not like you haven’t barged in before.”

You hear the door creak open behind the shower curtain and you poke your head around just in time for Matt to unzip his pants to relieve himself, his head tilting back with a sigh of relief. 

His eyes meet yours when he turns his head and his brows knit together, giving you an odd look. “What?”

“Can I ask you a question?” He blinks before giving you a quick nod. “Are you still fucking other people?”

“Yeah,” That answer relieves you a bit. “I was with Sadie last weekend.”

“I have another question.”

“Why are you—”

“I’m asking the questions,” You cut him off and Matt laughs, nodding for you to continue as he zips up his pants and washes his hands. “Has Sadie, or any other girl, been available on the same day that I’ve been available? Or asked you to come over?”

“Uh…” Matt ponders for a moment, bottom lip poking out his deep thought as he dries his hands on a towel. “Yeah, I think so.”

“And who did you end up choosing?”

“You.”

It shocks you at how fast he answers your question and you grip the shower curtain for support, the slippery floor of the shower almost making you tumblr. He chose you too… is that wrong? You’re uncertain and it makes you feel a little uneasy. Surely there must be a reasonable explanation to why you choose each other instead of fucking other available people.

“Why are you asking me that anyway?”

“Curious,” You answer quickly as you close the curtain to block him out and continue showering, ignoring the way he’s mumbling under his breath how strange you are. “Wait. I have another question.”

“Ask me when you’re down showering.”

“Why?” The tone of your voice turns sultry as you smirk, “Is knowing I’m naked behind this shower curtain turning you on?”

Matt doesn’t answer. Instead, his arm shoots out from behind the curtain, hand curling around the faucet tap to turn the temperature of the water, laughing like a maniac as he hears you scream from the cold water that splashes your skin.

You hated birthdays.

Actually, you hated your birthday. 

You hated knowing you’re getting older each year, desperately wanting to go back to the ages where all you worried about was not making a fool of yourself in front of someone you had a crush on, or not knowing the biggest high school gossip about who was seeing who behind whoever’s back.

Now, at your growing age, all you worry about is failing college and not being able to get a good enough job to provide a future for yourself.

You wish nobody knew it was your birthday, but having such a close group of groups who knew you better than you knew yourself, it wasn’t going to be easy, and you almost spun around and darted out of campus when you saw Chris twirling a gift bag in hand with helium balloons that spelt out ‘birthday girl!’ in big, bold letters tied to his wrist. 

“There she is!”

You wanted the ground to swallow you up.

“Happy birthday!” Chris yells loudly when you reach their circle, letting your backpack drop to the grass beside Tyler who looks up at you with a dopey smile. Chris shoves the gift bag into your hands when you finally sit down, huffing at the weight of the bag. “I bought you something.”

“I told him not to, I promise,” Nick tells you as he applies chapstick before he leans in close, “But as always, Chris doesn’t fucking listen.”

“And I never will,” Chris grins, untying the strip of balloons from around his wrist to tie them around your own, ignoring the dark glare you give him as he smiles at you cheekily. “Look inside. It’s all the essentials you need.”

“I swear to god, if you—”

“Shh,” He pressed his finger against your lips. “Less talking, more looking.”

You roll your eyes, swatting his finger away from your face before peering into the bag. A soft, genuine laugh leaves your lips when you first see two bottles of your favourite alcoholic beverage and a few chocolates, but you immediately cease all laughter and amusement when you see a pack of condoms and a Plan B box sandwiched between the pair. 

Tyler peeks over your shoulder to drop a pre-rolled joint and a few gummies into the bag for later, but makes a funny noise when he sees the condom pack. He dips his hand inside the bag to pull it out, throwing it back at Chris who fumbles to catch it.

“Hey—”

“She doesn’t use condoms.”

Chris gapes, slowly turning his head towards you with widened eyes. He leans forward, nose brushing against yours as he speaks, “Are you sure you don’t want to fuck me?”

Nick yells and covers his ears, threatening to punch his youngest sibling in the throat as Nate and Tyler snort.

“Positive,” You giggle and pat his cheek, causing him to whine and slump back into his own space in defeat. “I’m thankful for the gifts, but please… you know I hate celebrating my birthday. And were the balloons really necessary too? Did you have to make it more obvious?”

Chris frowns, tugging at the string. “But the balloons are pretty.”

“She doesn’t like balloons, kid.”

Your head whizzes around so quickly you’re positive you could hear it crack at the speed, a grin spreading across your cheeks when you see Matt standing behind you looking at your balloons in disgust. But your eyebrows raise in surprise when you see Sadie standing beside him.

You greet her with a wave and she reciprocates, wishing you a quiet happy birthday which you thank her for and motioning for them both to join you in your circle, but Sadie shakes her head with an apology, announcing that she has to be somewhere else.

You watch as she places her hand on Matt’s bicep, asking if they can meet up later but Matt shakes his head, telling her that he already has plans and her face deflates for a moment before nodding, bidding him and the rest of you a goodbye before leaving. 

Matt lets out a huff as he drops down to the grass, stretching out his legs and knocking his foot against yours, mouthing you a quick happy birthday and you smile in gratitude. 

“Sadie seems to be hanging out with you a lot recently,” Nate points out and Nick nods his head in agreement. “You like her?”

Matt shakes his head, “No. She was just asking me if I wanted to do something this weekend.”

“Are you?”

“No,” Matt mindlessly starts plucking the glass, avoiding everyone's eyes as they zone in on him. “I don’t have the time. Got some assignments to finish for my classes.”

Hearing him say that he hasn’t got the time sparks interest in you, and you begin to wonder if Matt would end up asking you for some well needed release. It excites you, especially when you realise you haven’t been under him or on top of him in a few days and you press your thighs together at the thought of possibly getting dicked down sooner rather than later. 

It’s a birthday gift, you say to yourself when you try to give an excuse to why you’re so needy to be fucked by Matt. It’s just a birthday gift… yet, you have Tyler right beside you, someone who’s easily available and someone who used to be frequent in giving you the best birthday sex of your life.

You could ask Tyler to come over tonight, but why wasn’t the question being asked? Why does it feel like you’re stopping yourself from asking something so simple and easy?

Perhaps you’re so used to sleeping around with Matt that it doesn’t even occur to you to ask someone else anymore. Tyler doesn’t seem bothered, maybe because he’s been getting his fix elsewhere too, so why does it bother you?

A quiet call of your name brings you out of your thoughts and you turn your head towards the source, gazing landing on Matt who is looking back at you with a kind smile. 

He shuffles further into the circle to get closer to you, voice dipping low. “Come home with me later? I have something for you.”

“What is it?” You instantly ask back, excitement evident in your tone. Even though you weren’t the biggest fan of celebrating your birthday and receiving gifts, there was no doubt in your mind that Matt was probably one of the best people to receive gifts from, knowing he usually goes above and beyond to give you the most memorable birthday. 

You smile when you remember the three-day spa voucher he gave you last year when he and his brothers had taken you away for the weekend, it was the most breathtaking cabin you had ever been to. The sunset above the lake was still photographed in your memory, so was the midnight drive he took you on when Chris and Nick were sleeping.

The sights were beautiful, and you were grateful to have seen it with your best friend.

“You’ll find out.” Matt tells you with a smile, refusing to give you a hint of any sort as he turns his attention to Nick to engage in a conversation. You pout, shoulders slumping in defeat and Chris knocks his arm against yours, voice teasing as he whispers in your ear;

“Looks like my gifts will come in handy after all—OW!”

“This is actually fucking ridiculous.” You giggle as you’re blindingly walking into Matt’s dorm, his hands covering your eyes to prevent you from seeing even though you’ve tried countless times to peek through the gaps between his fingers.

Matt’s chest rumbles against your back as he laughs, waiting for you to toe off your shoes at the entrance before leading you further into the room.

You have the layout completely mapped out in your head from the amount of times you’ve been at his place, already knowing that he’s leading you into the kitchen just by the cold marbling that you feel beneath your feet. 

You almost trip as Matt shoves you down onto a chair and whispers a countdown in your ears before he removes his hands from your face. Your vision is blurry for a moment and you try to adjust to your surroundings with a few blinks, jaw dropping in complete awe as the splotches begin to disperse and you see what’s presented in front of you.

“Are you kidding me?” You whisper softly in astonishment at the gifts that are laid out across the table. You spot a few of your favourite scented candles stacked on top of each other, a bottle of perfume that you were one hundred percent certain that was sitting in your wishlist on an online store you were browsing a few days prior, and a miniature bag with the logo of your favourite jewellery store. 

You feel extremely overwhelmed, the urge to cry becoming harder to keep at bay as your eyes water and string, throat tightening over how thoughtful Matt had been. 

You turn your head towards him with your bottom lip quivering and Matt snickers, pulling a party hat from god knows where and advancing closer to you.

“You asshole…” You insult jokingly, using the sleeves of your shirt to wipe at your eyes, hoping that the tears wouldn’t dare fall as Matt secures the hat on top of your head. You point to it, “Isn’t this a little cheesy?”

Matt rolls his eyes, snapping the elastic band against your chin for extra measure and you hiss at the slight sting it causes, punching his arm in retaliation but he pays no mind, smiling to himself as he turns his back to you for a moment to open the refrigerator door, pulling out a white squared box.

He balances it on the palm of his hand with ease, using his foot to kick the door shut as he makes his way back to you. 

You’re grinning widely at the thought of what could be inside the box, even though you’ve already guessed it’s a cake. Your hands rub together excitingly as Matt places it on the counter and gently slides it over to you, the box still in his grasp as it stops in front of you, drumming his fingers on the cardboard. 

Sensing your eagerness, Matt lifts the lid off of the box and the excitement on your face drops almost instantly, expressionless as you peek inside to see the miniature spongebob themed cake staring back at you.

You raise your head to see Matt already grinning at you, tongue poking at his cheek as he opens up a drawer to retrieve two plastic forks, twiddling them between his fingers.

You deadpan, “Are you sure we’re not celebrating your birthday right now?”

“Be quiet, you like spongebob just as much as I do,” Matt scoffs as he hands over one of the plastic forks and you take it with a smile. You go to cut out a piece for yourself but freeze when Matt makes a weird noise, gazing up at him in alarm. “Wait. Hold on—my god—let me take a photo first.”

You roll your eyes but happily oblige as Matt fishes his phone out of his pocket and angles it towards you. You pose, pointing to the cake with a wide smile, almost blinded by the flash when Matt takes the picture and you immediately rub at your eyes, trying to get rid of the blotches while spitting a few creative curse words that make him giggle.

He quickly takes the opportunity of you being blinded to slide beside you, holding his phone high to take a selfie and you poke out your tongue, using your free hand to cup Matt’s cheeks while he rests his on top of your head. 

Before you have the chance to complain about how hungry you are, you gasp in shock when you feel the coldness of the cake’s frosting rubbed on your cheek and the shutter of the camera goes off when Matt takes another photo, capturing you mid chaos as you dig your fingers into the side of the cake to smush a piece against his own cheek, grinning evilly as the yellow frosting covers his skin. 

“Alright, alright. I deserved that,” Matt sighs with a lighthearted laugh, making sure his phone is tucked away and out of the icing zone. “Makes a good blackmail photo though, don’t you think?”

“If that goes anywhere, I will kill you.”

“You already know that’s going on my Instagram, sweetheart.” Matt teases you and you scoff jokingly, shaking your head as you reach for the napkins that are laying conveniently at the side, trying your best to wipe away the frosting before it drops and stains your clothing. 

Matt manages to clean himself up pretty easily and decides to help you out when he notices you struggling, plucking a spare napkin from the pile and he takes a hold of your jaw, facing your towards him as he gently wipes at your cheek, careful not to rub too hard at your skin. 

You’re suddenly awkward of the close proximity and you grow silent, watching as you cleans you up diligently. The concentrated look on his face is what causes your stomach to whirl and heart bloom with warmth, his eyebrows furrowed and gaze zoned in on the area he needs to clean, tongue licking over his bottom lip.

“Matt…” You call out his name quietly to grab his attention and he pauses, staring right at you. He seems to slowly take notice of how close you both are, taking in the limited space between you both and he goes to remove his hand away from your face but stops himself short with a noise, bringing his hand back to finish the job.

“Happy birthday, sweetheart.” Matt whispers to you once he finally wipes away the frosting from your cheeks, smiling down at you with adoration swirling in his eyes and your breathing gets caught at the back of your throat for a moment at the sudden affectionate gaze, unsure of what to say or even what to do with him looking at you the way he is.

Your hands move up to take the birthday hat off of your head, dropping it to the side carelessly as your arms curl around his shoulders, pulling him into your embrace. Matt’s arms slide around your waist, holding you close to his chest as he hugs you back, burying his face in the crevice of your neck and exhaling deeply.

“I’m so thankful,” You admit, squeezing him tight as the emotions within you struggle to be contained. “For real, Matt. I’m really grateful too… thank you for making this birthday special again.”

“It’s not over yet, you know…” Your hear him mutter in your ear and you go to pull back, to question him on what more he could possibly give to top everything else he’s down for today but he’s already bending his knees, arms falling low to lock around your thighs and throwing you over his shoulder with a huff, smacking his hand roughly against your ass as he carries your giggly self to the bedroom. 

Friday nights will always be your favourite nights to let loose and party.

Dressing up in your prettiest outfit that makes you feel confident and sexy, decorating your body with the shiniest of jewellery you own and drinking the most intoxicated drink you could find while mingling with your friends.

Talking with your girls face to face after a week of classes had unfailingly lifted your mood, catching up with all the gossip you missed or only briefly discussed over the phone, finally adding your own two cents into situations which they eagerly agree with a nod of their heads, tapping their cups to yours before taking a sip. 

“Speaking of unusual relationships,” Sarah, one of your dearest friends, turns to look at you with a grin, “How's it going with you and Matt? Have things turned awkward yet?”

“Nope,” You shake your head, buzzing happily. “We’re fine. The whole ‘hooking up with your best friend’ culture isn’t as complicated as everyone makes it out to be. Everyone gets dramatic about it for no reason.”

Kendall lets out a heavy sigh, nursing her drink in her hand, “I don’t know how you do it. I can’t even imagine hooking up with Isaac. I mean, he’s attractive, but we’ve seen and know too much about each other to get physical on an intimate level… props to you.”

Anna shifts her gaze to you next, “Do you still fuck Tyler?”

“On occasion,” You admit. “But honestly, I’ve been so wrapped up in assignments—”

“And Matt.”

You give Sarah a smirk, “I haven’t really had the time to call up Tyler and ask him to fuck. He doesn’t mind anyways. He’s been busy smoking and selling weed for some extra cash.”

“What about Matt? Is he still fucking around?”

You pause at that, lips pursing in deep thought before you shrug your shoulders, “I don’t know. I haven’t asked recently if I’m honest.”

Kendall gestures over your shoulder, “Looks like you’re about to find out the answer.”

You crane your neck to follow the direction she’s pointing in, noticing Matt standing near a back wall with a drink in hand, deep in conversation with Sadie who’s smiling, locked on each word he’s speaking to her.

Feeling your eyes on him, Matt looks up to meet your gaze, raising his drink in greeting and you grin, lifting your own cup before he resumes back in conversation.

You take in his appearance with interest; a black fitted tank top paired with some loose fitted jeans and shoes you’re certain he definitely stole from Nick’s closet. The silver chain deer hangs from his neck and silver rings adorn his fingers. You wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he looks good.

“Take it easy with the lovey dovey eyes,” Sarah teases, nudging your shoulder to bring your attention back to her and you laugh, tipping your head back to finish the contents of your drink. “He does look good though, so I don’t blame you.”

“When was the last time you fucked Matt?” You direct your question towards Anna who shrugs her shoulders in response. 

“I don’t remember,” She smacks her lips together. “Definitely more than two months ago, that’s for sure… No disrespect to you but god, I miss his cock. How he walks around with that thing completely baffles me.”

Kendall’s eyes widened slightly, “Is Matt’s cock big?”

“Yes.”

You and Anna share a knowing smile and high give each other. You drone out the complaints Kendall makes about wanting to fuck someone with a big cock and how Isaac always sets her up with people who are both shitty in bed and lack personality, you being too focused on looking around the room to find a clear path to get more drinks and you dismiss yourself from your girls for a moment as you spot Nick and Tyler pouring vodka into each others cups.

You bound over to your favourite boys, throwing your arms around their shoulders and startling them with your presence, but Tyler hazily smiles you when he sees it’s you and presses a chaste kiss to your temple as Nick hugs you tight in greeting, offering to fill up your cup which you happily give him.

“Where have you been?” Nick asks you as Tyler takes your hand in his to twirl your around, whistling as he eyes your dress. “You look pretty.”

“Catching up with my girls because I spend way too much time with you guys,” You explain, but cheesily grin at the compliment you received on your outfit. Nick hands you your filled drink and you thank him, taking a quick sip as your eyes glance around the room, “Where’s the rest of the guys?”

“Chris is around here somewhere trying to get laid and Nate is talking to this girl he likes from his classes,” Nick informs you before he laughs. “Matt’s been talking with Sadie for the past hour—-sweet girl is trying to make her move.”

“And why aren’t you showing off your charms tonight?”

Nick’s face immediately drops, “Please. I’m done with boys. All they make me feel is absolute regret and disappointment.”

You smile in sympathy, “You’re looking at the wrong guys.”

“No,” Nick shakes his head. “They’re all the same. Everyone of them. Disgusting.”

You loop your arm around his, tugging him into your side, “What if I introduce you to this guy in my class? He’s tall… handsome… sweet…”

Nick eyes you, clearly interested in what you’re telling him and he holds his head high, “Maybe.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Chris!” You greet him happily as he appears beside Tyler, staring at you all with a confused look but grins when you throw yourself into his arms to hug him tightly, swaying you both back and forth. “I thought you were trying to get laid?”

“I was,” Chris sighs as he pulls away from the hug, but keeps an arm wrapped around your middle. “But she has a boyfriend and he’s, like, scary looking and I didn’t feel like getting nightmares for life.”

You frown, patting his shoulder. “What a shame. The dry spell continues for you.”

Chris leans into your touch, batting his eyelashes prettily at you with a smirk, “You can change that for me if you want.”

Nick fake gags behind you as you smile, “In your dreams.”

Chris sighs jokingly, dropping his head low. “Guess I’ll keep on dreaming then.”

“Dreaming about what?”

The sound of Matt’s voice has you spinning around, beaming happily as your eyes meet his but it falters slightly when you notice the fake smile he’s sporting, wanting to question him and ask him what’s wrong but you bite your tongue, not wanting to bring attention to the subject, knowing it’ll make Matt uncomfortable putting him on the spot. 

You reach out and touch his arm, giving him a comforting squeeze which makes him seem to relax, using your grip on him to tug your into his side and for Chris’ arm to slip from your waist.

“Chris is saying weird ass shit about her again,” Nick fills Matt in, wafting the smoke that Tyler blows in his face teasingly when he takes a hit of his joint. “How’s Sadie?”

“Fine,” Matt replies simply, licking at his lips as he turns to you. “Do you want to get out of here? Just me and you?”

Chris immediately takes offence to that, “What about us? What are you going to do without us?!”

Matt goes to answer but Nick immediately raises his hand, silencing him. “Don’t answer that. Just don’t.”

You’re in complete bliss with Matt holding himself above you, your back is arched, bare chest pressed to his as he nips and licks at your neck, his hips lazily grinding into yours, cock hitting deeper than he’s ever been.

The pace is slow, something that you’re not used to when it comes to Matt, but you don’t find the voice within you to complain, enjoying it a lot more than you’d admit with your fingers tangled in his hair, cries spilling from your lips with your legs hooked over his waist.

He’s grunting in the crevice of your neck with each deep thrust, one hand caressing the side of your face while the other finds a place beside your head, holding up his weight.

You’re whining from the loss of contact when he moves his head away, missing the feeling of his teeth against your skin, the slight stubble scratching your face and you look up at him pleadingly, but he’s frozen as he stares down at you, despite his hips thrusting automatically into you. 

“Fuck, sweetheart, you’re so pretty…” You barely hear him mumble and your heart pounds against your ribcage at the complement, body feeling more heated and warm.

“Matt—”

He cuts off your words by planting his lips on yours with the most sweetest and softest kiss he’s ever given you, and you melt into the touch, fingers untangling from his hair to cup his cheeks in your palms, gasping through the kiss as Matt's cock cock slowly pulls out of your pussy before pushing back in, sending a shrill up your spine. 

The band in your tummy tightens with each slow but powerful thrust he gives you, thighs shaking around his frame, unable to keep up with his kisses as your mouth falls open with short gasps and whines, white specks flickering in your vision as your feel yourself inching closer and closer over the edge.

“Cum,” Matt whispers, breath fanning over your face as he pants, “Do it. Cum on my cock.”

You wail as the band snaps, orgasm crashing down on you violently. Your body convulses, pussy squeezing around his cock, keeping him buried deep which has him moaning, his own hips stuttering as he cums. You feel him pulse inside you, filling you up with everything he gives.

Matt’s head slumps down on your shoulder as you try to steady your breathing, wincing as you feel him slowly move his hips back to pull his cock out of your sensitive cunt, your hand falling from his face to drop down at your pussy, gathering his cum that pools out onto your fingers.

“I’m sorry,” Matt apologises against your skin, “I’m sorry, I—shit. I should’ve asked if I could—fuck. I got too overwhelmed. I’m sorry.”

“It’s kind of cute that you’re apologising,” You admit, gently pushing him off of your body to sit upright. “But you don’t need to apologise… this isn’t the first time you came inside me, Matt.”

“I know,” Matt runs his fingers through his sweaty hair. “I usually ask...”

“Matt. It’s fine,” You reassured him, placing your palm on his bicep. “I’ll forgive you a thousand times more if you help clean me up though.”

Matt smiles and nods his head as he slips off the bed, disappearing out of the room for a moment and returning with a wet towel. He sits between your parted legs, gently cleaning up the mess, whispering apologies and apologies every time you wince when he presses down on sensitive areas, thighs closing around his hand which he carefully pries open to resume his job. 

You sit in silence, watching him, frowning at the troubled look you see on his face, not used to seeing Matt being so closed off with his feelings and emotions, especially towards you. He hasn’t been open and honest with you in the past few weeks, he hasn’t come to you and asked for your reassurance or help. 

It makes you feel a little bit defeated. 

Something is different, and you struggle to pinpoint what it is.

The questions lay on the tip of your tongue, desperate to be brought to light and asked, and even more desperate to get the answers you’ve been craving. Your relationship with Matt has changed since the proposition you’ve made about sleeping together, but he’s still your best friend.

“What’s going on?” You finally ask and Matt freezes, fingers clutching the wet towel in his grasp tightly. “And please don’t lie to me… I can tell when you’re being truthful or not—”

“What am I to you?” Matt suddenly asks and you’re a little thrown off at your question being answered with his own question. He takes his hand away completely as you blink at him, feeling confused. “Even with all this going on… what am I to you?”

“You’re my best friend?”

Matt seems to frown deeply at that, “So nothing has changed? At all? Even with us sleeping together? I’m still your best friend?”

“Wh—of course!” You’re baffled, assuming that with the way Matt is speaking about your situationship, that he is worried that you have gained some negative feelings towards him. It hurts you, and you’re eager to reassure him, to let him know that everything is okay. “Matt, you’ll always be my best friend. We promised nothing would change, right? I’m keeping that promise.”

Matt closes his eyes as his shoulders sink in defeat, “I…” He drops his head with a sigh. “I can’t do this anymore.”

You bring your knees up to your chest, “Do what?”

“This,” He gestures between the two of you. “I just… I can’t. Not anymore. I can’t continue sleeping with you.”

“Oh.” You swallow thickly, feeling something heavy weighing in your throat. “Why?”

“Things have changed,” His voice is quieter now and it makes your heart shatter at the tone. Does he hate you? “I can’t continue whatever this is and be your best friend at the same time, it has to stop. It—” Matt sighs, rubbing at his forehead. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” You mutter as your chin rests on your knees, hugging your legs closer to your chest to cover your modesty. You refuse to even look at him now, finding interest in the sheets below you as your throat tightens up more, feeling sick at the thought of him hating you so much that he can’t even continue sleeping with you. “I’m sorry too. I don’t know what I did to make you hate me, but I—”

“Wait what?”

“—I’m just so sorry. Especially if I came across too forward and for putting you in such a position, I know you were so hesitant about this in the direct place.” You’re babbling now, unable to take control of yourself due to the overwhelming feeling that washed over you. “I’m so fucking sorry, Matt.”

“Wait… I don’t—”

“Can we not tell the others right now?” You raise your head to meet his eyes this time. He’s looking straight at you, confusion and disbelief swimming in his irises but you ignore it, chewing the inner skin of your cheek. “Mostly Nick. I don’t really want to hear him laugh in our faces and give us the whole ‘I told you so’ speech he threatened us with at the start.”

Matt calls out your name and extends his hand to touch you, but you’re already climbing off of the bed, searching around for your underwear and dress that was thrown across the room earlier.

You’re too embarrassed to continue on with the conversation, to ask him what exactly you did to make him grow to hate you so suddenly. Truthfully, you didn’t really want to dwell on it too much, the pain of losing someone like Matt already making your heart ache. 

You just wanted to go home—to be in the comfort of your own bed and curse yourself out, and probably cry to the point you might just forget everything that just happened. You are feeling a little teary, but you wouldn’t dare cry in front of Matt right now. 

“I’ll, uh, see you around or something,” You sniffle, shoving the heels onto your feet and casting one final look his way. “I’m sorry.”

It’s been almost two weeks since your last encounter with Matt.

You shouldn’t be avoiding him like you are. It’s childish, you know that. But you can’t force yourself to face someone who used to be your best friend and now seemingly hates your guts.

Maybe you should’ve waited a few more minutes, to give him enough time to explain the entire situation and how he was feeling but you were selfish, you didn’t want to hear him explain in full detail what you had done to make him change his feelings towards you so negatively. 

You miss him. Of course you miss him. For years he’s been your best friend—your other half, more like. There was no you without Matt and vice versa. You weren’t exactly sure on how you could continue moving on without Matt by your side, as dramatic as it sounds… but you’ve always been a little dramatic. 

His brothers, Nate and Tyler have been blowing up your phone—-courtesy of you ignoring them too, not wanting to hear Nick rub it in your face on how the ‘friends with benefits bullshit’ you had with Matt actually did go to shit. You also didn’t want to hear the others continuously ask questions about what happened and what had changed. 

Even your roommate, someone who keeps herself out of your business and hardly ever bothers you, had cornered you one morning at breakfast, asking why you looked so glum and why the ‘shirtless and tattooed Boston fuckboy’ wasn’t joining you both anymore.

You’re not the type to let anyone know your worries, so you’re surprised when you find yourself explaining to your roommate about what happened in full detail.

She gave you an unimpressed look, calling you a little stupid for not staying behind and listening despite you letting it be known that you couldn’t bear to listen to why his feelings turned negative towards you. Your face twisted and turned, offended by her harsh words but you allowed yourself to let her talk and not interrupt even though you desperately wanted to.

“You jumped to your own conclusion,” She told you when she was collecting the dishes. “You know, for two close best friends who talk to each other every second of the day, you have some major miscommunication issues.”

So, that’s what leads you to now; you sitting alone in the living room with your phone in hand, staring down at yours and Matt’s chat with your thumb between your teeth, biting down on the skin anxiously as you try to figure out how to start a conversation, to let him know you’re ready to listen.

from you: i think we should talk….

from matt: good because im almost at your house anyway. I had to go get something.

from you: ???? u coming over

from matt: yes from matt: i was going to make you listen to me from matt: its kinda important kid. 

You snort at his message, sending a quick thumbs up emoji before throwing your phone to the side, awaiting his arrival. Your leg nervously shakes in the corner of your vision and your eyebrows knit together, placing your hand down on your knee and squeezing tight.

As if that will stop you from being nervous. 

You’re about to hear the reasoning behind why Matt's feelings had changed for you so negatively, nothing can prepare you for it. 

Just bite the bullet. Take it like a champ.

The rapid knocking on the door rips you out of your thoughts and your head slowly turns with a confused look sketched upon your features. Was that Matt? Matt never knocks—he freely walks in like it’s his own place usually, always making himself at home.

You push yourself up from the couch and make your way towards the front door, taking a peek through the peephole to see Matt’s form, teeth nibbling at his bottom lip with his hands behind his back, swaying back and forth nervously. You grow even more confused and concerned, pulling open your door to face him fully.

“Why did you knock—”

“Hate you?!” Matt suddenly cuts you off with a shout, startling you with the loudness of his tone. His eyes are wide as he stares at you, full of disbelief. “Hate you, I—fuck—how could I hate you?! I’d never hate you… god, you’re so frustrating sometimes.”

Your lips quirk upwards, “Nice to see you too?”

“I don’t hate you. At all. When I told you that things have changed, I didn’t mean anything bad by it… I pretty much meant the opposite…” Matt’s words trail off and before you can even get the chance to ask him to explain exactly what he means, air gets caught at the back of your throat and you struggle to speak as he pulls his hands from behind his back; a bag of candy in one and a handful of ripped up flowers in the other. Your heart thumps rapidly. “I’m going to tell you something and I just… I need you to listen to me.”

You barely whisper, “Okay.”

“Being in this friends with benefits relationship with you was not as easy as I thought it would be,” Matt tells you, his honesty making you pull your attention away from the gifts in his hands to meet his gaze. “We promised each other that we’re not going to involve any titles to make it complicated for us… yet here I am, standing in front of you with the same candy and flowers in my hand from when we first met, about to confess my fucking feelings to you, I’m so—”

“You’re rambling.” You cut him off, a smile creeping onto your lips.

“Yeah, of course I am,” Matt laughs at himself, shaking his head as he awkwardly scratches the back of his neck before he straightens out, keeping his eyes on yours. “I fell for you. Hard. I think I sort of realised it on your birthday but I didn’t want to say anything just in case whatever I was feeling wasn’t what I thought it was… but when we were at that party and I saw you from across the room, talking with your friends, I realised how much I actually do fucking like you and that it wasn’t just my dick talking.”

You snort as you repeat, “Dick talking.”

“Shut up,” Matt smiles at you, his own laugh fleeting past his lips before he sighs, “I like you. I’m falling in love with you, and I get it if you want to reject me because of how fucking weird this whole thing turned out… but I would actually like to continue being with you, not just as a best friend but as your boyfriend.”

You’re too busy repeating his confession in your head to notice that Matt is waiting for an answer, bottom lips tucked between his teeth as he bites down nervously, visibly shaking out of excitement or fear due to the fact he just confessed his entire feelings—you weren’t sure which one was right.

The silence from you kills Matt and his face drops when you step forward to quietly take the flowers and candies out of his hands, taking a step back inside your house. His shoulders slump in defeat, taking your nonverbal response as a rejection to his proposal of him being your boyfriend.

He goes to turn around, to get the fuck off your doorstep and drive home, hoping that the intense embarrassment he feels coursing through his veins is enough to make him disappear.

But he freezes mid escape when he hears the rustling of you ripping open the pack of candies, spinning around to see you looking at him with the prettiest smile.

He watches, heart thumping wildly, stomach fluttering with nervousness and excitement as you extend your arm out, angling the bag in his direction and a grin spreads across his face, unable to control the happiness that bursts from within.

You’re giving him a treat, you’ve giving him a relationship.

©sturnioz

bree you're so talented I might cry

Something more

Pairing: softdom!chris x Reader

Summary: You and Chris have an agreement with being friends with benefits but you unsurprisingly caught feelings.

Warnings: cussing, smut, angst, heated kiss, P n v, toxic chris, happy ending, fingering, spanking, choking, and I probably missed a lot but oh well.

Breespeaks: thank you so much for 1k??? Hello?? I didn’t think y’all enjoyed my writing like that lol also this is basically a collab with my girl @worldlxvlys full credits go to her for the text. (She absolutely devoured them and made this story 10x better)

You and Chris have been best friends for roughly around 3 years. There was always sexual tension between y’all from all the harmless flirting you guys did and the fact that no matter what you had to be touching each other in some form.

Weather or not it was just a hug or a simple hand on the shoulder, you had to be touching each other.

Your friends always claimed you two were gonna end up together in some way, it also didn’t help that both of your moms gushed over the fact that y’all were “destined” to be together.

Chris’s brothers always gave him shit for not trying anything with you, they claimed you as the “hottest” girl he’d ever get to be with.

But Chris didn’t want to ruin y’all’s friendship, and he also didn’t wanna be tied down. He felt that if he was to get into a relationship he wouldn’t be able to have the experience other young adults would get.

He wouldn’t disagree about you being attractive though, he’s always found you more attractive than most girls.

He also isn’t blind and can see the fact that you could literally be with anyone if you tried, but he can’t help but feel a little jealous when seeing men come up to you and flirt with you even tho you never did anything about the guys flirting with you.

You’ve always thought Chris was attractive, you’ve always thought that if one day y’all don’t find anyone to marry then you’d marry him.

But on one random Tuesday five months ago, Chris came to you with an “amazing idea” that he’s been thinking about for quite awhile.

“Okay so hear me out” Chris grinned at you, you looked at him cautiously.

“What?” You whispered with a raised eyebrow, “what if we start like a friends with benefits kinda thing?” He hesitated with a small smile.

“Chris what the fuck?” Your eyes widen, but deep down you’ve been waiting for this.

He sighed and shook his head, “just hear me out please” he looked at you from beside you, with your thighs touching.

“Go on” you whispered keeping eye contact, even though your heart was beating out of your chest.

Chris turned his body to face yours, “I know you feel the sexual tension between us” he whispered. “It’s kinda hard not to” he continued, your mouth parted slightly but nothing came out.

“And plus, I don’t want a relationship and for some reason you don’t go for any guys so what if we just helped each other out” he looked at you with begging eyes.

You looked at the tv and back to him, “I don’t know Chris, that’s risky” you winced. You didn’t wanna ruin yalls friendship by someone catching feelings, you’ve read enough books to know that it always happens.

But nonetheless you agreed, and y’all have been ‘friends with benefits’ for five months. The hardest 5 months of your life.

There was only one rule to this.. and that was not to catch feelings. But you have completely failed, you caught feelings only two months into it.

It’s hard not to, it’s Chris. And y’all are best friends so it made it harder, it wasn’t just sex for you. It was more than that, you didn’t understand why you agreed when you knew you’d catch feelings.

But for chris.. he was having the time of his life, but he wasn’t just having sex with you. There was one other girl. You knew chris slept around, but you didn’t think it would hurt you considering you’ve known about this since he started.

But it does, it hurts you so much. It fucks with your head, thoughts always taking over your mind. Like “why does he need more” or “am I not good enough?” But you pushed them down for his sake.

You always did things for Chris even if it was hurting you.

Y’all decided not to tell anyone, per Chris’s request. He didn’t want to tell other people because he didn’t want them to think y’all were gonna start dating.

Not telling people messed with your head even more considering you couldn’t talk to anyone about how you were feeling because you couldn’t even turn to your best friend in this situation.

You’re currently laying on Nicks bed as y’all were watching a movie.

Someone busted through Nicks door scaring the shit out of you and Nick, “you, come with me” Chris said pointing at you.

“Nah, we’re watching a movie” you shrugged, your plan was to start being cold towards Chris to see if your feelings would go away.

“Ugh Y/n/n, please” Chris groaned and started walking into Nicks room, “bro get out, we’re trying to watch a movie” you rolled your eyes as Nick pressed pause on the movie.

Chris’s eyes widen a bit as he raised his eyebrows, you’ve never called Chris bro before. It’s always been his name or bug a nickname you started calling him awhile ago.

“Alright quit playing and come on” he chuckled, your face remains stiff.

“Dude just get out, she doesn’t wanna go” Nick chipped in, Chris just laughed coldly and shook his head turning to leave.

After Chris left, you guys continued the movie, but not even five minutes later you got a text from Chris.

You sighed and turned off your phone off. You turned it facing down on your stomach, “you good?” Nick asked as his eyes never left the tv.

“No yea.. I’m good, I’m just gonna go see what Chris wants.. I feel kinda bad” you whispered thinking of an excuse fast, “okay, just come back up after so we can finish this movie” he said with a smile, pulling out his phone.

You mumbled a quick “okay” as you got out of his bed and going out the door.

You walk down the stairs with your heart beating fast, you wasn’t expecting to have sex with Chris today. Y’all normally do it when no one’s home.

You made it to his room and immediately walk in, not caring to knock considering you never knock anyways.

“Look who decided to come down” he smirked looking you up and down like you were his last meal, “shut up Chris, what do you want” you asked crossing your arms with an eye roll.

“I thought I made myself clear?” He questioned with a head tilt, “I didn’t make myself clear enough for you? My bad, what I was trying to say is.. I want that pretty pussy wrapped around my cock baby” he stated bluntly as he started walking towards you.

“We calling each other bro now? You serious?” He laughed as he stopped right in front of you, you glared up at him.

“It slipped” you shrugged dryly, “what is with your attitude today princess” he chuckled and shook his head. You sighed and looked off to the side.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong” he said as his demeanor changed, you looked down and sighed.

“Nothings wrong Chris” you rolled your eyes, “your attitude needs to go, I’m not a fan of it” he squinted his eyes down at you.

You shrugged and turned around to walk out of the room, this wasn’t working.. all you wanted to do was rip his clothes off and suck his cock.

Chris rolled his eyes grabbing both of your wrist and turning you around before slamming you into the door with your hands above your head, you gasp at the sudden movement and your heart pounds faster.

He grabs your chin with his free hand tilting your head up, your face being inches away from his.

“I’m not messing around tonight.” He seethed through gritted teeth, your thighs clenched in need. You’ve always loved when Chris was mad.. you don’t know why but something about it makes your core soaked.

“Then do something about it pretty boy” you smirked to no one but yourself, he grinned and pressed his lips into yours in a hungry kiss.

He let go of your hands and put one of his hands on your waist, he wrapped his other hand around your throat applying some pressure. You moaned into the kiss loving the familiar feeling on your neck.

He slipped his tongue into your mouth, your hands immediately go to his hair gripping onto it roughly. He groans out as he presses his body flush to yours, his hand slowly going down towards the front of your shorts.

He pressed his hand onto your clothed core, you moan into the kiss as your hips jolt forward. Chris smirked and started moving his hand in a circular motion.

You pulled away from the kiss and threw your head back hitting your head on the door. Chris removed his hand on your neck and started leaving slow and wet kisses on your neck, “Chris!” you moan loudly before a hand lands on your mouth silencing your whines of pleasure.

“You got to be quiet baby, we’re not home alone this time” he whispered as he stood up straight, he brought his hand back up to your waist. “Dick” you mumbled and rolled your eyes, “if you don’t lose that fucking attitude you’re not cumming tonight” he glared down at you.

You rolled your eyes again, he says this 7 times we fuck out of 10 and you get to cum every single time.

“Keep playing with me baby, imma make this a long night for you” he smirked, you brought your hand up and grabbed his eraction through his sweatpants, freaky ass fucker wasn’t wearing any boxers. His jaw fell slack as his eyes fluttered shut, “what was that pretty boy?” You smirked up at him.

“Sh-shut up” he whispered as he pulled you into another kiss, you started rubbing his tip through his sweats. He pulled away from the kiss, resting his head on yours. His breathing was heavy as he let out a small whine.

“Your all talk huh, what happened to making this a long night. Your already so hard, probably won’t last long” you hummed continuing your movements, Chris rolled his eyes grabbing your hand and pinning it beside your head.

“Your really testing me tonight huh?” He whispered getting close to your face, “get on the bed and strip” he glared as he dropped your hand and crossed his arms waiting for you to move.

“No bruh” you rolled your eyes as you mirrored his actions, you knew this would set him off.

“Alright” he chuckled darkly as he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder, you landed with a sigh of relief.

Chris cocked his hand back and smacked his hand down hard onto your ass, you moan as your body jolts forward.

“Quiet baby” he whispered as he threw you onto the bed, “strip” he mumbled as he took off his shirt. “Do it for me baby, my arms are tired” you crawled towards the edge of the bed looking up at Chris with doe like eyes.

He gawked down at you, “holy shit” he whispered in awe. You sat on top of your heels as one of your heels was pressed firmly on your core.

You felt on top of the moon, Chris rarely ever lets you take control even just for a little bit. So the fact that he let you take control for a few moments had you feeling like nothing could stop you.

Chris leaned down and started kissing your neck, “you gonna lose that attitude pretty girl?” He whispered as he slowly removed your top, his breath hitting your neck perfectly making you shiver.

You didn’t reply to him just to see what he’d do, you’ve never messed with him this much before.

“Not wearing a bra? What a dirty slut” he laughed as he started messaging your tits, “you do this for me ma?” He smirked as he rolled your nipple between his fingers.

You try so hard not to make a sound, but it’s hard when even his voice makes you want to moan.

“Oh so your being quiet now? Your face looks like your about to cum in your pants baby” he smirked as he wrapped his hand around your neck again, “still nothing hm?” He hummed.

He pushed you into the bed by your neck, as soon as you land on your back he removes his hand a rips off your shorts and panties all in one. He puts your panties in his back pocket, “saving these for later” he smirked down at you.

You felt overly exposed so you wrap your arms around your chest, he notices very quickly and grabs both of your hands and pinning them down above your head.

“Don’t hide from me angel, you’re the most beautiful girl” he whispered, and there it was.. the complements that felt more then just friends with benefits.

You moaned as he rutted his hips into yours, “there she is” he smirked as he brought you into a kiss.

He removed his hands from yours and brought them down to your legs rubbing them up and down your thighs, “please” you whined from under him. “What is it pretty girl” he smirked, “touch me” you whimpered as he brought his hand closer to where you needed him.

“I am touching you, where else do you want me to touch you” he cocked an eyebrow looking down at you, you groaned as you reached down and grabbed his hand and put it on your core.

He looked down at his hand and back to your face, he smirked as he started running a finger through your slick. “You’re so wet for me baby” he said as he slipped a finger into your entrance with ease considering how wet you are.

He started thrusting his finger into you repeatedly, before adding a second finger. Once he added the second finger you grabbed his wrist fast gripping onto it so he’d stop, “your already close?” He whispered in amazement, he’s never seen you finish so quickly.

Right after he asked your body shook as you came undone, “holy shit” he giggled. You blushed as you looked up at him and covered your face with your hands.

“No baby, it was cute” he whispered prying your hands off of your face.

“Are we just gonna talk about how you made me cum that quickly or are you gonna put your dick in me?” You sassed with a blush on your face, “welp I guess the attitude is back” he laughed and shook his head.

He thrusted into you without warning making you scream out, well.. tempted to but Chris knows you to well and knew that was coming so he put his hand on your mouth so you couldn’t be loud.

Chris was thrusting his hips into yours at fast pace, and at this rate you could cum in any minute.

“Taking me so good baby” he whispered right before my phone started going off, Chris groaned but continued his movements nonetheless.

“Fuck, you mph” your eyes rolled into the back of your head as your hips jolted up meeting his thrust half way, “shit” Chris whispered. “I done fucked you dumb huh” he said breathlessly, “I love you” you whispered. Your eyes basically fell out of your head. You never meant to say that.

You tried squirming away but Chris grabbed onto your hips and pulled you closer, “I love you baby” he whispered. You looked up at him with soft eyes, he just laughed and shook his head as he brought his hand down to your clit.

He started rubbing on your clit fast, you moaned and threw your head back.

“Come on baby, cum for me” he whispered keeping eye contact, and that was all you needed before you spluttered under him and came all over his cock. “Good girl” he whispered in your ear.

He groaned and threw his head back as he came in you, you felt his warm cum paint your walls.

He laid his head on your shoulder and stayed in you for a couple of minutes before slowly pulling out. You winced at the loss and sensitivity.

He threw you his shirt to throw on as he ran to the bathroom to grab a wet, he came back to see you laying on your back on the same spot but you had his shirt on. He took the wet rag and cleaned you both up before throwing it in the dirty clothes.

He grabbed your hips and pushed you further onto the bed so your head would be on his pillows. Chris climbed onto the bed and laid next to you throwing an extra blanket on top of you, he pulled you close to him so your head was laying on his chest.

“So.. what happened to not catching feelings?” Chris hummed with a small smile on his face, he always knew it would happen. He just was nervous it would be him first.

“We will talk about this later, right now I wanna take a fat nap” you whispered against his chest, “okay princess” he chuckled as he kissed the back of your head.

Breespeaks pt 2: once again heavy credits to @worldlxvlys she helped a lot!! Go check her stories out if you haven’t already!!

taglist: @worldlxvlys @sturniolosmind @luverboychris @disturbedwoodelf @junnniiieee07 @patscorner @nicksmainbitch @mayhem-72 @b2cute @annamcdonalds67 @batoolareadss @wurlibydominicfike @hearts4chriss @endereies