Hey So I Have A Confession To Make
hey so i have a confession to make 🫤
i’m actually madly in love with u
Oh my god that's crazy bc me too😧🤧
-
worldlxvlys liked this · 1 year ago
More Posts from Endereies
Daily rant, why the fuck is writing smut the hardest part of writing. Like what do I say bro, ‘his manhood slid into her Crown Jewels.“Thou shags me so good” she cried. “Thy female genitalia is so narrow.” He mumbled into the plush skin of her neck. I be checking over my shoulder to make sure no one’s watching me write. (I’m all alone writing) sorry for my rant 😪 - hugs and kisses Gracie 💋

HOT TAKE..
So many of you girls on here are screaming mean girls. Like you’re mean. And for those who are hiding behind anon to spread hate.. stop hiding and own up to the shit you say, your not cool amd your not funny.
Now can we go back to the way this app was a week ago!!! I just wanna read and write fanfics peacefully without hearing that my friends are getting absolutely shitted on for no reason.
Stop hating on people that did absolutely nothing. Stop sending mean and nasty anons. Stop being mean, you’re not the shit. You’re just a fan of the triplets, you do not have fans.
Ok.. goodnight 🍄♥️
unpopular opinion, i hate the word ‘daddy’. i can’t even imagine myself saying it without wanting to throw up
bree you're so talented I might cry
Something more
Pairing: softdom!chris x Reader
Summary: You and Chris have an agreement with being friends with benefits but you unsurprisingly caught feelings.
Warnings: cussing, smut, angst, heated kiss, P n v, toxic chris, happy ending, fingering, spanking, choking, and I probably missed a lot but oh well.
Breespeaks: thank you so much for 1k??? Hello?? I didn’t think y’all enjoyed my writing like that lol also this is basically a collab with my girl @worldlxvlys full credits go to her for the text. (She absolutely devoured them and made this story 10x better)


You and Chris have been best friends for roughly around 3 years. There was always sexual tension between y’all from all the harmless flirting you guys did and the fact that no matter what you had to be touching each other in some form.
Weather or not it was just a hug or a simple hand on the shoulder, you had to be touching each other.
Your friends always claimed you two were gonna end up together in some way, it also didn’t help that both of your moms gushed over the fact that y’all were “destined” to be together.
Chris’s brothers always gave him shit for not trying anything with you, they claimed you as the “hottest” girl he’d ever get to be with.
But Chris didn’t want to ruin y’all’s friendship, and he also didn’t wanna be tied down. He felt that if he was to get into a relationship he wouldn’t be able to have the experience other young adults would get.
He wouldn’t disagree about you being attractive though, he’s always found you more attractive than most girls.
He also isn’t blind and can see the fact that you could literally be with anyone if you tried, but he can’t help but feel a little jealous when seeing men come up to you and flirt with you even tho you never did anything about the guys flirting with you.
You’ve always thought Chris was attractive, you’ve always thought that if one day y’all don’t find anyone to marry then you’d marry him.
But on one random Tuesday five months ago, Chris came to you with an “amazing idea” that he’s been thinking about for quite awhile.
“Okay so hear me out” Chris grinned at you, you looked at him cautiously.
“What?” You whispered with a raised eyebrow, “what if we start like a friends with benefits kinda thing?” He hesitated with a small smile.
“Chris what the fuck?” Your eyes widen, but deep down you’ve been waiting for this.
He sighed and shook his head, “just hear me out please” he looked at you from beside you, with your thighs touching.
“Go on” you whispered keeping eye contact, even though your heart was beating out of your chest.
Chris turned his body to face yours, “I know you feel the sexual tension between us” he whispered. “It’s kinda hard not to” he continued, your mouth parted slightly but nothing came out.
“And plus, I don’t want a relationship and for some reason you don’t go for any guys so what if we just helped each other out” he looked at you with begging eyes.
You looked at the tv and back to him, “I don’t know Chris, that’s risky” you winced. You didn’t wanna ruin yalls friendship by someone catching feelings, you’ve read enough books to know that it always happens.
But nonetheless you agreed, and y’all have been ‘friends with benefits’ for five months. The hardest 5 months of your life.
There was only one rule to this.. and that was not to catch feelings. But you have completely failed, you caught feelings only two months into it.
It’s hard not to, it’s Chris. And y’all are best friends so it made it harder, it wasn’t just sex for you. It was more than that, you didn’t understand why you agreed when you knew you’d catch feelings.
But for chris.. he was having the time of his life, but he wasn’t just having sex with you. There was one other girl. You knew chris slept around, but you didn’t think it would hurt you considering you’ve known about this since he started.
But it does, it hurts you so much. It fucks with your head, thoughts always taking over your mind. Like “why does he need more” or “am I not good enough?” But you pushed them down for his sake.
You always did things for Chris even if it was hurting you.
Y’all decided not to tell anyone, per Chris’s request. He didn’t want to tell other people because he didn’t want them to think y’all were gonna start dating.
Not telling people messed with your head even more considering you couldn’t talk to anyone about how you were feeling because you couldn’t even turn to your best friend in this situation.
You’re currently laying on Nicks bed as y’all were watching a movie.
Someone busted through Nicks door scaring the shit out of you and Nick, “you, come with me” Chris said pointing at you.
“Nah, we’re watching a movie” you shrugged, your plan was to start being cold towards Chris to see if your feelings would go away.
“Ugh Y/n/n, please” Chris groaned and started walking into Nicks room, “bro get out, we’re trying to watch a movie” you rolled your eyes as Nick pressed pause on the movie.
Chris’s eyes widen a bit as he raised his eyebrows, you’ve never called Chris bro before. It’s always been his name or bug a nickname you started calling him awhile ago.
“Alright quit playing and come on” he chuckled, your face remains stiff.
“Dude just get out, she doesn’t wanna go” Nick chipped in, Chris just laughed coldly and shook his head turning to leave.
After Chris left, you guys continued the movie, but not even five minutes later you got a text from Chris.


You sighed and turned off your phone off. You turned it facing down on your stomach, “you good?” Nick asked as his eyes never left the tv.
“No yea.. I’m good, I’m just gonna go see what Chris wants.. I feel kinda bad” you whispered thinking of an excuse fast, “okay, just come back up after so we can finish this movie” he said with a smile, pulling out his phone.
You mumbled a quick “okay” as you got out of his bed and going out the door.
You walk down the stairs with your heart beating fast, you wasn’t expecting to have sex with Chris today. Y’all normally do it when no one’s home.
You made it to his room and immediately walk in, not caring to knock considering you never knock anyways.
“Look who decided to come down” he smirked looking you up and down like you were his last meal, “shut up Chris, what do you want” you asked crossing your arms with an eye roll.
“I thought I made myself clear?” He questioned with a head tilt, “I didn’t make myself clear enough for you? My bad, what I was trying to say is.. I want that pretty pussy wrapped around my cock baby” he stated bluntly as he started walking towards you.
“We calling each other bro now? You serious?” He laughed as he stopped right in front of you, you glared up at him.
“It slipped” you shrugged dryly, “what is with your attitude today princess” he chuckled and shook his head. You sighed and looked off to the side.
“Hey, hey, what’s wrong” he said as his demeanor changed, you looked down and sighed.
“Nothings wrong Chris” you rolled your eyes, “your attitude needs to go, I’m not a fan of it” he squinted his eyes down at you.
You shrugged and turned around to walk out of the room, this wasn’t working.. all you wanted to do was rip his clothes off and suck his cock.
Chris rolled his eyes grabbing both of your wrist and turning you around before slamming you into the door with your hands above your head, you gasp at the sudden movement and your heart pounds faster.
He grabs your chin with his free hand tilting your head up, your face being inches away from his.
“I’m not messing around tonight.” He seethed through gritted teeth, your thighs clenched in need. You’ve always loved when Chris was mad.. you don’t know why but something about it makes your core soaked.
“Then do something about it pretty boy” you smirked to no one but yourself, he grinned and pressed his lips into yours in a hungry kiss.
He let go of your hands and put one of his hands on your waist, he wrapped his other hand around your throat applying some pressure. You moaned into the kiss loving the familiar feeling on your neck.
He slipped his tongue into your mouth, your hands immediately go to his hair gripping onto it roughly. He groans out as he presses his body flush to yours, his hand slowly going down towards the front of your shorts.
He pressed his hand onto your clothed core, you moan into the kiss as your hips jolt forward. Chris smirked and started moving his hand in a circular motion.
You pulled away from the kiss and threw your head back hitting your head on the door. Chris removed his hand on your neck and started leaving slow and wet kisses on your neck, “Chris!” you moan loudly before a hand lands on your mouth silencing your whines of pleasure.
“You got to be quiet baby, we’re not home alone this time” he whispered as he stood up straight, he brought his hand back up to your waist. “Dick” you mumbled and rolled your eyes, “if you don’t lose that fucking attitude you’re not cumming tonight” he glared down at you.
You rolled your eyes again, he says this 7 times we fuck out of 10 and you get to cum every single time.
“Keep playing with me baby, imma make this a long night for you” he smirked, you brought your hand up and grabbed his eraction through his sweatpants, freaky ass fucker wasn’t wearing any boxers. His jaw fell slack as his eyes fluttered shut, “what was that pretty boy?” You smirked up at him.
“Sh-shut up” he whispered as he pulled you into another kiss, you started rubbing his tip through his sweats. He pulled away from the kiss, resting his head on yours. His breathing was heavy as he let out a small whine.
“Your all talk huh, what happened to making this a long night. Your already so hard, probably won’t last long” you hummed continuing your movements, Chris rolled his eyes grabbing your hand and pinning it beside your head.
“Your really testing me tonight huh?” He whispered getting close to your face, “get on the bed and strip” he glared as he dropped your hand and crossed his arms waiting for you to move.
“No bruh” you rolled your eyes as you mirrored his actions, you knew this would set him off.
“Alright” he chuckled darkly as he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder, you landed with a sigh of relief.
Chris cocked his hand back and smacked his hand down hard onto your ass, you moan as your body jolts forward.
“Quiet baby” he whispered as he threw you onto the bed, “strip” he mumbled as he took off his shirt. “Do it for me baby, my arms are tired” you crawled towards the edge of the bed looking up at Chris with doe like eyes.
He gawked down at you, “holy shit” he whispered in awe. You sat on top of your heels as one of your heels was pressed firmly on your core.
You felt on top of the moon, Chris rarely ever lets you take control even just for a little bit. So the fact that he let you take control for a few moments had you feeling like nothing could stop you.
Chris leaned down and started kissing your neck, “you gonna lose that attitude pretty girl?” He whispered as he slowly removed your top, his breath hitting your neck perfectly making you shiver.
You didn’t reply to him just to see what he’d do, you’ve never messed with him this much before.
“Not wearing a bra? What a dirty slut” he laughed as he started messaging your tits, “you do this for me ma?” He smirked as he rolled your nipple between his fingers.
You try so hard not to make a sound, but it’s hard when even his voice makes you want to moan.
“Oh so your being quiet now? Your face looks like your about to cum in your pants baby” he smirked as he wrapped his hand around your neck again, “still nothing hm?” He hummed.
He pushed you into the bed by your neck, as soon as you land on your back he removes his hand a rips off your shorts and panties all in one. He puts your panties in his back pocket, “saving these for later” he smirked down at you.
You felt overly exposed so you wrap your arms around your chest, he notices very quickly and grabs both of your hands and pinning them down above your head.
“Don’t hide from me angel, you’re the most beautiful girl” he whispered, and there it was.. the complements that felt more then just friends with benefits.
You moaned as he rutted his hips into yours, “there she is” he smirked as he brought you into a kiss.
He removed his hands from yours and brought them down to your legs rubbing them up and down your thighs, “please” you whined from under him. “What is it pretty girl” he smirked, “touch me” you whimpered as he brought his hand closer to where you needed him.
“I am touching you, where else do you want me to touch you” he cocked an eyebrow looking down at you, you groaned as you reached down and grabbed his hand and put it on your core.
He looked down at his hand and back to your face, he smirked as he started running a finger through your slick. “You’re so wet for me baby” he said as he slipped a finger into your entrance with ease considering how wet you are.
He started thrusting his finger into you repeatedly, before adding a second finger. Once he added the second finger you grabbed his wrist fast gripping onto it so he’d stop, “your already close?” He whispered in amazement, he’s never seen you finish so quickly.
Right after he asked your body shook as you came undone, “holy shit” he giggled. You blushed as you looked up at him and covered your face with your hands.
“No baby, it was cute” he whispered prying your hands off of your face.
“Are we just gonna talk about how you made me cum that quickly or are you gonna put your dick in me?” You sassed with a blush on your face, “welp I guess the attitude is back” he laughed and shook his head.
He thrusted into you without warning making you scream out, well.. tempted to but Chris knows you to well and knew that was coming so he put his hand on your mouth so you couldn’t be loud.
Chris was thrusting his hips into yours at fast pace, and at this rate you could cum in any minute.
“Taking me so good baby” he whispered right before my phone started going off, Chris groaned but continued his movements nonetheless.
“Fuck, you mph” your eyes rolled into the back of your head as your hips jolted up meeting his thrust half way, “shit” Chris whispered. “I done fucked you dumb huh” he said breathlessly, “I love you” you whispered. Your eyes basically fell out of your head. You never meant to say that.
You tried squirming away but Chris grabbed onto your hips and pulled you closer, “I love you baby” he whispered. You looked up at him with soft eyes, he just laughed and shook his head as he brought his hand down to your clit.
He started rubbing on your clit fast, you moaned and threw your head back.
“Come on baby, cum for me” he whispered keeping eye contact, and that was all you needed before you spluttered under him and came all over his cock. “Good girl” he whispered in your ear.
He groaned and threw his head back as he came in you, you felt his warm cum paint your walls.
He laid his head on your shoulder and stayed in you for a couple of minutes before slowly pulling out. You winced at the loss and sensitivity.
He threw you his shirt to throw on as he ran to the bathroom to grab a wet, he came back to see you laying on your back on the same spot but you had his shirt on. He took the wet rag and cleaned you both up before throwing it in the dirty clothes.
He grabbed your hips and pushed you further onto the bed so your head would be on his pillows. Chris climbed onto the bed and laid next to you throwing an extra blanket on top of you, he pulled you close to him so your head was laying on his chest.
“So.. what happened to not catching feelings?” Chris hummed with a small smile on his face, he always knew it would happen. He just was nervous it would be him first.
“We will talk about this later, right now I wanna take a fat nap” you whispered against his chest, “okay princess” he chuckled as he kissed the back of your head.
Breespeaks pt 2: once again heavy credits to @worldlxvlys she helped a lot!! Go check her stories out if you haven’t already!!
taglist: @worldlxvlys @sturniolosmind @luverboychris @disturbedwoodelf @junnniiieee07 @patscorner @nicksmainbitch @mayhem-72 @b2cute @annamcdonalds67 @batoolareadss @wurlibydominicfike @hearts4chriss @endereies
FUCK IT - MATT STURNIOLO

Spotify Playlist:

Pairing: Matt x Oc
Contains: Growing up with parents who make her feel isolated, what happens when she meets Matt. A person who introduces her to new people, new experiences and new feelings.
Requested?: no
Author's notes: My first ever fic which is crazy but I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I have writing it (hopefully it will have consistent updates)
Word Count: 4857
“Is this something we are meant to do?”
“Fuck it.”
────────────────────˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗───────────────────
Seeing the hallways early in the morning was always an eerie feeling. The corridors that normally bustle with kids and teachers were now silent, the only sounds being my own footsteps that thud on the marbled floor below. That never failed to make me paranoid. I pull a headphone from my ear, taking my case out my pocket with my spare hand. Usually, I am then met with anticipated silence as my music dims from my ears; today was different. My body pauses at the door to the music room, my hand hesitates to reach for the handle as sounds of drumsticks that crash against snare drums and cymbals interrupt my normal routine. I grow curious and open the door wide and I walk through the doorway, the guitar on my back slamming the door into the brick wall behind it. A loud crash echoes behind me which startles me and the boy who remains sat behind the drum kit. My face falters once our eyes meet and I realize who it is.
Matthew Sturniolo
“You have to be shitting me” I mumble and grit through my teeth, laying my backpack and guitar case onto the sofa opposite the drums.
“Shit sorry, I wasn’t expecting anyone in here...” he almost groans back, seeing my demeanor towards the situation.
“Yeah evidently” I return my words with a sarcastic tone, practically mocking his obvious statement. I sigh and slump down on the sofa which my backpack now leans off of. The sound of leather creases below me and I adjust myself on the uncomfortable material, my foot immediately finding this as an opportunity to tap against the carpeted flooring. “So, how long do you plan on staying in here?”
He lays his drumsticks on the drum watching them proceed to roll off, awkwardly trying to catch them as he now stammers making me raise an eyebrow and scoff.
“U-uhm well until class starts, do you need to practice your... guitar?” he peeks his head around his cymbals to view the case my instrument is carried in.
My feet awkwardly shuffle on the floors “obviously not as much as you do.” I grovel in response rolling my eyes before propping my body weight up from the sofa to lean against my knees.
“What’s that supposed to mean.” He mutters with a slightly colder attitude than previously possessed.
“Calm down, not like that, I mean… you’re in several performances for the band’s talent show next weekend. I was saying it was a higher priority than my...” I trail off now focusing my gaze on my guitar casing “hobby.”
“Oh.” His voice weakens, almost timid now realizing his now false accusation. He shifts on the seat and manages to look me in the eye again.
I drag out a tangled lead from the side of my case, flashing the headphones to Matt before practically throwing them on the couch as I drag my guitar out of the case, kicking the wrapping off to the side. I lean the guitar up against the height of the sofa as I start to untangle the lead with both my hands. I weave my fingers through the loops and slide the cable against itself. The length of the cable eventually reveals itself with the final tug on the wire.
The click from the guitar plug completes my set up as I start to tune my guitar, listening to the string’s pitch change as I twist the tuning pegs. The odd chord here or there slowly blends together until the strings match the necessary sounds. Leather beneath me creaks again as I sit back down the sofa with the guitar lying under my arm and on top of my thigh.
Matt trails from the conversation and picks up his drumsticks creating a light beat with the tips of them. It was a basic beat merely to gain a tempo before he nods his head to a new beat that I instantly recognize.
Dark red – Steve Lacy
I begin to study Matt’s actions, them intriguing me for the first time this morning. His hands are focused on the beat of his drums, occasionally hesitating before another sound emits from the skin of the drum. His pace steadies more as he concentrates on his movements. I find myself tapping the body of my guitar lightly to the beat he makes. Matt nods his head gently to the drums which causes a strand or two of hair to fall Infront of his face, resting just above his eye. I swallow harshly and look down to the strings on my own instrument and I pluck at them before strumming to create an occasional note from the song matt is playing.
I give in, however, and adjust my guitar on my lap so that I can play the song properly. Grabbing my pick that is sat beside me, tainted with its own ‘dark red’, my guitar now hums with the according notes.
He snaps out of his focused state and snaps his head over to me with a smile. For some reason it makes me smile back as I continue to play the song more passionately as I hum the lyrics to keep me on beat. I hear a breathy laugh from his direction as we then hit the chorus which makes me smile once again. Thankfully he is only focused on the drums.
I feel his gaze on me when its time for me to change my chords for the verse. I follow suit and switch the tune as the beat drops, I strum a little harder on my guitar which makes a stronger sound emit from my instrument. I keep humming the words to the song gently in tune with Matt’s drums; I steal another glance at him. He isn’t smiling much as before but you can instantly feel the passion as he plays and nods his head. He doesn’t seem to care about anything else, not the strands of hair that fall from their initial position, not the amount of noise he is making at 8:12am or music sheets that slide further of the holder. Something about Matt’s playing almost distracts me, every music class I’ve been too everyone looks so forced into their instruments. Those kids even make me feel negative about music at times, but this? This is different.
He looks up at me, meeting my gaze and I instantly look back down to the guitar resting on my lap. I purse my lips together as the final 30 seconds of the song reach. Matt stops playing the drums to allow me to finish, finally fixing his hair and slicking it back over himself. The last chords I play are slower, softer and relaxed. I stroke the strings on my guitar slowly and sigh once the noise quietens.
A silence falls between us both. Both our breathing is a little heavier but not enough to be noticeable to the other.
“You can play guitar.” He speaks with a cocky smile as he leans back onto the stool below him.
“As if this was for show” A quite scoff escapes my throat as I retort. “You don’t play bad yourself”
“Thanks...” His tone diminishes to a calmer and more confused one, he looks at me with an expectant expression.
“Alyia…” I respond.
Playing songs with matt was refreshing from anyone who I normally play with, he can actually play his instrument.
The next week follows the same routine. I walk in the music room, greeted by matt and we play music together. It wasn’t like it was for fun or anything, only to help him practice for the talent show.
That’s what I kept telling myself at least.
-
“Good morning.” I speak into the room without acknowledging my surroundings. I take off my jacket and throw it onto a chair nearby and place my guitar case on the carpeted floor.
“Hey” A voice emits from behind me rather than its usual location behind the drum kit.
I turn my head sharply to the drums and I notice they are strangely empty; I turn my head another 90 degrees and my eyes meet matt. He is leant against the door frame with his drumsticks resting in his cross arms which lie against his chest. He adjusts his position so he stands straighter and slicks his hair back with his palm.
“don’t do that Matt, you scared me” I turn again to face my guitar, leaning down to unzip the casing and reveal my black guitar.
“you’re here early, how come?” Matt strides past me and takes a seat at the drum kit before tapping the base drum a few times.
“Well. You are here before me and this is the last day before the talent show tomorrow, why not?”
“Ah. Can’t get enough of me, can you?” he laughs at his own joke and shakes his head slightly. Before I can respond to it, he chimes in again. “What song today, Alyia?”
I finally take position at my ‘designated seat’ and strum a gentle #C chord. “Uhm...” I drag the m through my pursed lips before muttering. “What one is your weakest?”
“Fuck I don’t know? ‘There she goes?’ I keep going to fast about halfway through the damn song” he grumbles with mild self-deprecation and clicks his tongue against his cheek.
I don’t respond with any words but simply tuning one of my strings and immediately strumming the initial pattern to the song’s melody. I nod my head to keep in beat until matt joins in 10 seconds in with light cymbal taps, finally playing his base with more momentum 5 seconds later.
I enjoyed playing this song a lot more than the rest. Even if it did repeat itself, it only made it harder to mess up the chords. The pace was slow but enough to keep me entertained and created a soothing atmosphere that made me forget about the blisters that were starting to form under the rough skin on my hands from the week’s excessive playing. My arm that relaxed over the body of my guitar allowed me to relax into the song more.
I take a glance up at Matt for what feels like the millionth time this week and I see those same strand of hair as before fall onto his face, he manages to tilt his head and jolt it slightly to flick them back into place without ruining his pace.
I play fast about halfway through the damn song.
Not true. He plays it perfectly; we stay in tune with each other the entire time. Even when I add an extra note or riff to mess with him, he stays on beat.
Weird.
I finish the song with a gentle stroke on my stings with dissipates into the air around us. My eyes meet his again.
The door then swings open with a slam as it hits the brick wall in the same place that I hit it the first time I spoke to Matt.
“Mattyyyy” A voice echoes off those same brick walls which is followed by a groan from behind the other.
I hear Matt sigh once he relaxes from his jump scare. I still recover from mine as my body starts to relax once more. Curiously, I face where the voice came from and two boys enter the room and walk towards Matt, one quicker to hug Matt than the other. I recognize their faces as you can easily match them to Matt’s own expression.
“Hey Chris? What are you doing here...? Matt welcomes him with a side hug, holding his drumsticks in the hand that wraps around his back.
“I told him not to bother you but as per usual… He. Didn’t. Listen.” The third one speaks in a monotone voice through his gritted teeth before he puts his weight on one side of his body.
I stay silent, not wanting to disturb the interaction between the three, just lightly tapping on the edge of the sofa, plucking clump of fabric between our fingers. My guitar still rests upon my thigh, my fingers of my other hand lightly plucking at the strings as it drapes over the body of it.
“Whatttt, I haven’t heard Matt play in forever, he has basically shut himself in here for a week” Chris groans and wipes his hands over his face as he slumps on the third’s shoulder which pushes him to the side.
“Jesus Chris its not that bad, you will hear him more after the talent shows.” He retorts as he pushes Chris’s body weight off of him with both arms.
“Well, it’s nice for you two to show up...” he speaks with a calmer tone than previously as he then hints towards me with a simple head tilt.
Both the two boys turn their bodies in my direction and abruptly pause their sentences. An awkward silence comes over us and I offer a weak smile.
“Oh, my bad, whoops” Chris mutters towards me, becoming a little quieter than before and stepping back towards Matt “Nick, why didn’t you tell me someone else was here dude.”
“As if I fucking knew” Nick sighs as he side-eyes the younger boy. He turns his arms outward before dropping them to his side once more.
“Guys this is Alyia, she is the one who I mentioned who can actually play guitar without making our ears bleed.” Matt points his drumstick at me and waves it in a tight circle while leaning on one of his drums. He hints at me with a sincere smile.
“Uh, hey?” I practically mumble these words to the group of them; they all face me with blank expressions as we grow quiet in unison, the only sounds being the scratch of Chris’s soles on the rough carpet as he shuffles his feet subtly.
A meek wave is given as nick raises his hand to me hesitantly. He looks to Chris and Matt, rolling his eyes as they don’t speak again.
“So, you were the one who scared matt shitless the first time you met?” Nick’s voice fills the awkward silence.
“I mean that’s one way to put it I suppose”
Great introduction Ally
“Guys look, this is nice and all but why are you two here exactly. You are never here this early unless I beg you to join me.” He pauses as he ponders about the situation that he made clear “wait, did Nate drive you here?”
Nick nods his head strongly as does Chris, who has stopped shuffling his feet now.
“Yeah, Nate did give us a lift, and all Nick did was play Melanie the entire 15 minutes. I gave up and put headphones on” Nick then lightly elbow’s Chris in the ribs with gritted teeth, his gaze remains on Matt’s drums.
“Anyway, Miss Ackley is rounding up the bands for a final practice between people for tomorrow, we said we would grab you and bring you there.” His arms cross over each other and he sighs heavily.
“Fuck. This early? Damn, whatever…” A long sigh escapes his lips as he pushes himself up from his previous slouched demeanor. He slicks his hair one last time as he stands up and paces towards his backpack which seems far too empty to contain more than one book, maybe a pencil case if you’re lucky. Perhaps it was because the straps were worn out and tired from previous years. We were seniors after all.
I track his motions with my gaze, watching Matt’s footsteps hit the ground harshly, more so than on average. I can feel the vibrations under my own sneakers.
Both Nick and Chris race ahead of Matt, already leaving the doorway they previously crashed through with energy. However, Matt slacks behind whilst I turn my focus back to my guitar, expecting him to follow suit and walk out.
“You should come watch the show tomorrow, I’d like you to see that our practice wasn’t in vain.” His fingers pick at the chipping wood that hug the door frame.
“You sure? Its not like you needed the practice to begin with.” I raise an eyebrow and let out a breathy laugh for a short moment, which is only interrupted by his words.
“I’m positive. I’d like to see you there for at least one song.” His eyes essentially plead at me as he feigns a pout with his bottom lip, hoping for me to surrender, which I do.
“Fine. One song got it.?”
He salutes at me and pushes himself from the doorway, letting his fingers linger there for as long as he can before he turns the corner. That leaves me sat alone in the music room, which hasn’t been the case since before I met Matt. It feels wrong now.
After a few minutes, the silence becomes too deafening for me to work in so I pack up my equipment and leave the music room in search of the library. I couldn’t work in that silence I once used to wish for every day.
-
The talent show was never all that important to me, if it was I would more than likely participate in it with my guitar. Matt is the only reason I ever showed up this year. I’ve only known him a week and normally I would just refuse, however, the fact that he is playing and playing well makes me want to go. Finally having someone else that can actually play music is more appealing to a musician than you may think.
-
An alarm blasts from my phone reading 6:15pm.
Shit. I’m running late.
I grab my bag, shoving some basic necessities into it as I exit my room in a hurry and speed down the stairs, skipping a few at a time. I turn the corner of my banister, quickly placing my hands Infront of me to stop myself from crashing into the cream-coloured wall that is now facing me. I use that momentum to push myself towards the front door, grabbing my keys on the way out, letting the door slam behind me.
*Matt pov*
“Hey Quinn, can you help me set up my drums? I got shit to do real quick” I walk offstage and adjust the earbud in my ear slightly, tilting my head as I do so.
“Uh sure? Just give me 5.”
I only respond with a nod from behind having already walked past Quinn whilst I walk to the main dressing room. The hallway echoes with my shoes squeaking as I walk heavily with long strides. People inside immediately perk up and glance to the door that swings open.
“Yo, Nate you coming out or what, I need you backstage on music, we have to start in 10 minutes.” As I talk, I seem rushed and a little stressed with my words; everyone is so nonchalant about the fact that they all have to be ready in 10 minutes and I am the only one currently onstage.
Nate stands up and walks towards me, grabbing my wrist lightly and pulls me out the doorway, the door lightly clicks behind us unlike the crash that I had previously made.
“Dude, you have to understand that this isn’t a theatre or concert. No need to stress, no one cares this much but you.” He jolts his elbow into my rib with a smile on his face.
“Ugh” I groan and roll my eyes, leaning off from Nate’s grip which remained on my wrist. “I know, I know, I just want it to go well. I rarely ever get to show off my drums to anyone, let alone a whole school.”
“Well, I’m ready, go get Martha and Dan and finish setting up. I’ll get my shit turned on now, ‘aight?”
A sigh escapes my lips as I nod my head slowly and separate from Nate, returning to backstage. I feel relief when Martha and Dan wave me over from their positions they take on stage behind the curtain. I take faster strides to my drum kit which is now fully set up and, looking back over my shoulder to see Quinn give me a thumbs up which I appreciatively reciprocate.
Once I take my seat my leg immediately bounces up and down making the floorboards under me creak ever so slightly. My fingers follow the same pattern and start to spin my drumstick meticulously between each finger one at a time circulating my hand repeatedly.
I get a cue from Nate at the side and I immediately force my foot on the bass pedal and strike it steadily. After 8 counts the snare and floor tom got added to my rhythm. By now the curtains have started to open for night and draw to each side. I try and focus on the beat I’m creating but my eyes can only fall to the audience and I start to scan almost instantly. At first, I’m not sure what for but then my brain catches up with itself.
Alyia
Dark Red – Steve Lacy
The steady, rhythmic beating of drums fills the air around me and I concentrate on the flow of my beat. I allow myself to fall further into the base lines I provide and I consistently hit the skin of the drums accordingly. I let my eyes look up to the crowd in front of me. Even though my drums are placed towards the rear of the stage, the lighting hoisted above me, allow me to see each audience member with ease. The lights aren’t harsh however since a slight red tint provided all our eyes with a little more comfort than the original hospital white shade.
Occasional glances flick between the audience and my drums as I attempt to locate Alyia, she never promised me she would attend, I just hoped she had promised herself.
I can’t tell if I am stressed about being on stage for the first time in ages or what but my heart is racing more than my anxiety ever normally causes it to. My hands are slightly clammy but I blame that on how much I’m playing the drums and moving my body.
As my body forces me to look at the audience once more, heads turn to the back of the hall, now facing the right-hand side. I follow suit and glance over in that direction. The side entrance has gently been pushed open and someone has walked through. Their back is turned to me and I momentarily put my concentration back into the music and timings. Curiosity gets the better of me once again and I exhale deeply, slipping my tongue between my lips to wet them briefly and I fix on the door again as I attempt to make out who entered.
My eyes squint as I focus on the person for about ten seconds before I finally realize who it is.
Alyia.
She actually came? I didn’t think she was serious when she agreed to the one song. Granted she was a little late. Nothing I minded at the moment, however.
I see her quickly set eyes on the stage, examining it quickly. I watch her eyes as they fall to my drum kit, lingering on the school logo on the bass drum. She hesitates as her eyes met mine, her expression, inscrutable. I maintain eye contact before I break it to change the pattern of my beats. And by then her own focus changes too.
When I am finally able to take my eyes away from the drums, the song is over. Dan and Martha don’t stay on the stage long enough to even acknowledge the people they had just performed to and they simply wandered off stage. I remain sat down on my stool. I plant my feet flat on the ground and use force to swivel my position back and forth as I drink from a half empty water bottle. I flip the bottle between my hands before I replace it with the quieter options of my sticks which rhythmically spin amongst my first few fingers to the beat of the song in my head – the song I was playing next.
Ride – Twenty One Pilots
I then notice some movement out of the corner and I turn my neck to see a hand waving at me. A confused expression grows on my face as I narrow my eyes off stage. I notice Nate standing next to the singer of who I’m playing for next and a worried expression is visible on the both of them.
A sigh disperses into the air for what seems to be the millionth time tonight and I push myself off my seat, lightly hitting the side of the cymbal with my hip as I brush past.
“What’s going on?” I finally reach where they are and stand closest to Nate, crossing my arms across my chest.
“Jess’s guitar string just snapped.” An exasperated sigh leaves the singers lips as he hands me the broken string from his own palm.
“Shit, uhm...” I inspect the string and based on the thickness I immediately knew it was a D string. My hand lays flat, holding the string in front of me and I hand it back them.
“It’s just a D string, I have spares in my bag, Nate will show you where it is.” I face Nate then nudging his side.
“Uh yeah sure, we will be quick Matt, promise.”
I nod before walking back onto the stage, and back to my stool which now is cold due the lack of body heat. With my legs only being covered in some black, denim shorts it makes me jump back somewhat.
-
After five minutes of delay, the ‘host’ announces the singer and guitarist’s names to the audience. I sigh with relief as I pick back up my drumsticks and get into position.
It’s not long after that I confirm everyone’s set up and intro the next song, after the initial counts of 8 I provide, the guitarist and piano audio that Nate creates joins in with me.
This song starts much more smoothly than the first few songs I played and everyone’s skill set is higher and much more practiced too. My sections are more complex than the last song however, I enjoy the flow and atmosphere enough to ease that stress and relax me.
Halfway through the song, the chorus plays for the second time and my arms relax into the repeated pattern which allows me one more chance to look into the audience. The first people I notice are Nick and Chris. Nick has one of our cameras out, fortunately without the flash on as Chris goofs off next to him which results in Nick jolting his knee into Chris’s. I roll my eyes at them and the pace of the song slows down. The lights dim gradually as we approach the final seconds of the song. My muscles stop tensing since I can play softer and leisurely. A deep breath fills my lungs and glance up into the audience, I instantly meet Alyia’s eyes again and we both smile, mine definitely showing more than I mentally allowed myself to, but I stopped caring quickly when she broke eye contact with a roll of her eyes.
-
My drumsticks finally rest upon the floor tom drum and I’m now sat backstage closest to the audience whilst I pack up my things. I grimace when I feel resistance in my ears from the earbuds I put in 2 hours ago now.
Once everything is packed up, I can only wait until the next song is over until I can leave this heated environment. The only distractions from time that I had were quick exchanges with two people I previously performed with, my bottle clattering on the floor next to me and another mini staring contest with Alyia that I ended this time.
-
“Finally.” I mutter when the host begins their ending comments to the night, I hold my coat between my arm and ribs and swing my backpack onto my right arm, praying my bottle didn’t fall out again when I rushed down the side platform.
My eyes close themselves, only opening again when a tug on my shirt wakes me up. I stop walking and turn my head around with an initially confused expression.
“So, you invite me out here and you don’t even say hi, Matthew” The girl in front of me is finally in a clearer view with all the main lights turned on and a lack of distance between us. I study her outfit momentarily which consisted of low-rise navy jeans; a cropped purple star tee, barely covering her bra straps; a white overhanging beanie and a bunch of small accessories around her neck, wrist and fingers.
“Alyia... hey.” I snap out of my stare as I look down at my air forces which shuffle around on the floor.
“I gotta say, I’m happy you came”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
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