38 posts
Esc-arsonist - I Just Want To See The Eurovision Stage Burn - Tumblr Blog
First rehearsal of Cyprus
cyprus sent their version of imagine dragons and he is also inside a volcano
No burning fake pianos AND a boring winner?
most disappointing esc ever. 0/10
Europeans whenever we see a Piano on Stage:
Watch ""Allemagne Zero Points (Official Release)" - Jan Böhmermann | ZDF Magazin Royale" on YouTube
I miss the old Eurovision
our collective pyromaniac side during eurovision hoping for that piano to catch fire is matched only by our collective pyromaniac side during christmas hoping for the Gävle goat to catch fire. true folklore gods of the modern day.
Blood & Glitter, Lord Of The Lost - Unser Lied für Liverpool | Germany, Eurovision Song Contest 2023
Luke Black - Samo Mi Se Spava | National Final Performance | Eurovision 2023
The problem I have with Germany’s entry for Eurovision is that I wish it went harder lol. I want more scream singing.
BUT with some good lighting and staging this song could fuck so hard at the final. It’s glam rock metal, go full cheese with some fire and flashing lights
Since I rated zitti e buoni last year it's time to look at the final performance of Stefania according to the official Winning Song Guidelines, aka the Love, Love, Peace, Peace Ranking. Let's go
Get everyone's attention
starting with the harmonies straight away 1/1
Drums! There has to be drums, +1 for gorgeous topless men and/or a grandmother
Sadly no drums or topless men or gradnmothers in sight 0/2
Using an old traditional folklore instrument, +1 for an old man, +1 if he has a beard
They had some kind of flute and plenty of beards, not all ages are clearly definable but we're gonna go with a fail on that one 2/3
A violin
Not a violin exactly but a contrabass 0.5/1
Add A DJ who pretends to scratch
No DJ but we'll give half credits for the breakdancer & rapping 0.5/1
Costumes, something that the viewers will notice
The pink hat alone nailed that one 1/1
The song is about love or peace
A mother's love and love for their home country during war times definitely works 1/1
6/10 for the technical parts so let's look at execution
Let the song beginn with passion
Enough said 1/1
Let the wind begin to flow
No wind machines on stage 0/1
Look into the TV camera
Hard to tell with the hat but there's some definite stares 1/1
Smile
No smiles this time 0/1
Fill the stage with light
Lights coming from all directions, even the floor 1/1
Dancers will join us
The dancers are there from the beginning but there's definitely dancers 1/1
Old women baking bread
No fresh bread on stage 0/1
A man in a hamster wheel
Once again not a single hamster wheel in the finale 0/1
Our hands will touch
They were almost social distancing during most of the performance 0/1
We change the key
Not the key but the rapping changes the beat 0.5/1
It begins to snow
The stage is set up like a sun without sudden snowfall 0/1
Burning fake piano
Still waiting for instruments to start catching fire again 0/2
Russian man on skates
Probably better they left this one out... 0/1
Party for everybody
The crowd was there for them 1/1
More tricks in the hamster wheel
Still no hamster wheel in sight 0/1
End result:
11.5/26
Slightly better objective score than maneskin last year but some of the essential eurovision props are once again missing. Still strong performance and definitely worthy of a winner.
its eurovision week, here’s a photo of my fire piano tattoo
I felt like rating Zitti E Buoni according to the official standards set in Love, Love, Peace, Peace so here we go.
Get everyone's attention
Opening the stage doors from behind felt pretty powerful to me
1/1
Drums! There has to be drums, +1 for gorgeous topless men and/or a grandmother
Ethan probably counts as gorgeous and he wasn't quite topless but his chest was still bare
1.5/2
Using an old traditional folklore instrument, +1 for an old man, +1 if he has a beard
sadly no old traditional folklore instruments and definitely no old men or any beards
0/3
A violin
Alexander Rybak stayed home this year :/
0/1
Add A DJ who pretends to scratch
Also no DJ in sight
0/1
Costumes, something that the viewers will notice
Oh we noticed
1/1
The song is about love or peace
well. No.
0/1
3.5/10 for the actual steps. Now onto what's really important.
Let the song beginn with passion
Yeah I see it
1/1
Let the wind begin to flow
No wind machines either
0/1
Look into the TV camera
Yes Damiano, we see you
1/1
Smile
There's definitley some smirks from Damiano, and Victoria full on grins at the camera
1/1
Fill the stage with light
After the intro the lights really begin to shine
1/1
Dancers will join us
Not a single dancer, even though Victoria and Thomas do their best
0/1
Old women baking bread
All of the old people probably had to stay home because of covid
0/1
A man in a hamster wheel
No hamster wheel (not even in any of the other songs. Sad)
0/1
Our hands will touch
Damiano touches Thomas' shoulder one time, but not his hand
0/1
We change the key
The third parla la gente purtroppo differs from the ones before so I'll let it pass
1/1
It begins to snow
No sudden weather changes this year
0/1
Burning fake piano
Neither a piano nor any other instrument caught on fire, massive dissapointment
0/2
Russian man on skates
I wish
0/1
Party for everybody
Looks like a party to me
1/1
End result:
More tricks in the hamster wheel
Still no hamster wheel in sight
0/1
9.5/26
There's definitley some room for improvement, especially concerning prop usage.
For all intents and purposes they should not have been the best and won the eurovision song contest.
If there won't be at least one burning instrument or other prop at eurovision this year, i'll burn down England myself.
Not you scotland, you can stay.