This Is Some Really Tasty Analysis, Highly Recommend Reading It

This is some really tasty analysis, highly recommend reading it

The basic premise of this theory is that the Angel from the prophesy and everything that relates to them ends up being the player, and there's a lot of really good arguments in that favor. I hadn't really thought about it from this perspective before and it totally makes sense

drink up

This is Evil Spamtonology

Hello! I'm mafa @rubsjuice, she/her, and I enjoy media analysis of all kinds, even more so of Deltarune. I've been relentlessly roleplaying Spamton for two years, and I've thought a lot about this little guy, things that after a long time of restricting them to my friends' discord server, I feel the need to share with the wider community.

The owner of @spamtonology is my friend and gave me their blessing to name my blog this way because they're nicey and polite and I'm fucked up and evil.

This blog will focus on Spamton, but it will also branch to other UTDR characters, concepts, and worldbuilding, because a good character is nothing without his world and baby, Spamton is living in it.

I'm not very sure how I plan to organize the blog yet, tag-wise. I'll edit this intro post when I do.

Feel free to send asks! I love talking to other people and sharing opinions. Please don't be shy, but in case you are, I'll make sure anon asks are open <3

DISCLAIMERS:

These are all my own analysis of the written text of UTDR, as well as making cross references with other media and concepts I've come across in life. I in no way am claiming that what I'm saying is the truth, nor that it is the only acceptable interpretation of the UTDR narrative. To do so would be intellectually disonest and honestly I hate that.

My posts are intended for an adult audience. While I won't be posting explicit content, nor am I interested in doing so, I might talk about things that are upsetting or uncomfortable. I cannot and will not forbid teens from reading my blog, and I will do my best to write my posts in a way that's accessible for everyone, but I will not go to lengths to make anything I say kid-friendly. If you're in middle school and onwards, you are well-equipped to follow an intellectual discussion that is not sugarcoated or advertiser friendly, and I will not pretend you aren't.

You are allowed to fuck or not fuck Spamton in any way you'd like, I don't care and that's not the objective of this blog. You don't need to ask me anything of the sort. Play clown games, win clown prizes.

I feel like Spamton would enjoy gambling, slot machines especially. I’m not sure why, it’s just a thought I had

I don't think so. He does say he is not in it for the money, but for the freedom. Plus you tend to lose more money than you gain...He would not want to re-live that.

I did hear a long time ago that casinos are apparently designed in such a way that it's easy to get lost in, and I think he would hate that.

"Swatch is Crowbar" okay Mafa. Tell us more

I'll do you one better, watcher, I'll make a List:

Both are triangular

Both are in charge of well-dressed buff men (and women) (who wear bowties)

Both have horizontal-like relationships with strong women that use whips as their primary weapon and are all about commanding other things or people

There's more similarities but I'm fast approaching the image limit and tumblr doesn't like it when I do that on an ask. Here's the rest of the list:

Both can be very rude (Swatch moreso passive-aggressively or behind people's backs, but they can definitely be rude if they want to; Crowbar takes a more physical stance to rudeness)

Both take pride in their leadership, even though Swatch seems to have a better relationship with the Swatchlings than Crowbar has with the rest of the Felt

Both are middle-management (they lead other people, but also have a boss they respond to, and in both cases they respond to that person with passion and loyalty)

They're both weirdos (affectionate)

Both are bisexual royals

Both the Felt and the Swatchlings rely heavily on colors for self-identification

Knowing how many other references to Homestuck there are in Deltarune, this can't be just a Very Specific Coincidence. I'm not sure what this means in the grand scheme of things though.

the amount of times spamton lets kris know and emphasizes he won’t/can’t force them to do anything hits me so hard

he says it not just once, not twice, but three times. so its clearly really important to him that kris knows that.

if there’s one thing spamton deeply cares about, it’s the ability for people to make their own choices. to be able to think for themselves. just to have the option to follow their own judgment. you can of course, still persuade someone to do something, because if you persuade someone that’s still them weighing the pros and cons for themself. they still have the option to choose. he’s pretty principled in this regard.

he wants kris to be able to make their own choices too. as a puppet he can’t have that for himself, and he sees a kindered soul in kris—he sees them as an extension of himself, and so whatever logic applies to him applies to them as well, including his principle of the freedom of choice. that also means the concept of consent would be extremely important to him. he does not want to force his will upon others.

and that’s another point i should touch on. here’s another few lines that strike me as profound.

spamton immediately acknowledges after saying “NO, I DIDN’T HEAR ANYTHING JUST NOW!!!” that something was said, rendering the former line that he didn’t hear anything as bullshit. it’s really hard to put this into words, and i can’t describe it as anything other than desperate. he is so consciously aware of how fucked he is. but for whatever reasons he has a hard time being direct about it.

i do not believe this was due to some metatextual force preventing him from asking for help. i think it’s just his personality and his principles.

he doesn’t want to force his will on others. so he has to do it indirectly. he’d feel a bit of shame, i guess, in asking for help. i mean he does want help but he needs to ask for it indirectly. you know how some people are like, “just asking …. for a friend”? it’s EXACTLY like that. he knows he needs help and does want help but he can’t accept that. he can’t let himself seem cringe and maudlin with no good reason. so he has to cast his personal sentiment off into the objective ether and like, separate it from himself, or subject it to logical scaffolding. he doesn’t understand why someone would value individual sentiments over reason; it feels like an accident for him to be feeling something. unless he assumes control over it for the sake of creating a deliberate sentimental impact on others, he’s got the “if i said anything worrying no i didnt <3” mindset.

you could get it out of him but only if you sat down and went, “okay. let’s be real with each other..level with me. tell me your demons and i’ll tell you mine. fair?” and he realizes he has nothing to hide or lose. because what’s happening here is that you’d be giving him persmission—consent. he doesn’t want to drop something heavy on you if the context is not appropriate for it. he doesn’t want to impose his will on you. he won’t force you to listen, he can’t force you. the world does not move towards him, he moves towards the world. he needs your consent that it’s okay first. because otherwise he senses that he is bringing the atmosphere down. that is why spamton was so quick to brush off his cry for help. it wasn’t professional. it wasn’t in his controlled presentation that he chooses to manifest for the sake of others. and it’s like, “fuck i cant do that to a customer. fuck me. they don’t wanna hear that. i need to be a good host to them.” (and good GOD i feel that SO fucking hard it’s unreal. “how are you feeling?” hey hey that’s MY thing to ask. let’s not get too carried away.)

anyway. going back to the beginning, these lines, not only just by themselves in isolation, but also in the context of being repeated for emphasis, is genuinely one of spamton’s most touching aspects i think. auhhaaahhgghhh

Personally, I'm a "Spamton is in his 60s" truther. I think he became big in his mid to late 30s after a really long time of struggling business (at least a decade! For desperation purposes) and then being big got to his head so much that the fall made him forever washed up, a dead salesman (him being in his 60s is also a good way to link him to Death of a Salesman, which to me sounds like a big inspiration to the character, since in the play Willy Loman is also in his 60s. Too old to be productive, too young to be set for life).

I think that if he's in his 60s now it's interesting to think about what it does for his "cultural age", so to speak. A guy in his 40s now grew up in the 80s, in an era where brands and franchises have been thoroughly figured out. He'd do a lot more brand references to things he likes, for instance. But a guy who grew up in the 60s and 70s? Spamton would've been exposed to hippy culture, the rise of huge corporations and the collapse of the american dream cultural phenomenon in a formative age, which, at least from my perspective, complements his character really well. I think that because all the values he's been taught as true and correct are now a thing of the past — it reinforces his washed up desperate themes, as well as the more unsavory aspects of his character.

Spamton himself is a thing of the past, which is why he was left to collect dust in the trash. Forgotten, antiquated, useless. No wonder he goes insane.

I’m a “Spamton is even older than 45” truther.