Can You Teach Me How To Evade Taxes?

Can you teach me how to evade taxes?

Could you tell me and Tommy and bedtime story? Please? Pretty Please? Uncle Nook is still at work so he won’t know. Please? Just one story? And a goodnight kiss?

“Now. Have either of you heard the story of Winkle the magic dragon? They say that time only flows when he’s asleep...”

Mr Redd! Can we paint with you in your boat? Please?

“Of course. I set up a canvas for you two, and I’m even breaking out the good paint.”

*runs over to resident services* hOw dID yOu lOcAtE tHe kIDs?

“No, no. I’ll answer this one, Isabelle.”

“Oh! Are you sure, Mr. Nook?”

“Hm. Yes, yes. Let them see me.”

“Well, a few years after Redd first betrayed her, alongside me after she passed, I found the boys running around in the rain, looking for scraps. I felt emotional, seeing myself in them. I decided to take them in, and raise them like Rose did for me. It was the scariest thing I’ve ever done, besides reconnecting with Redd a few years ago, but it was inherently worth it, yes, yes. Alright, now I have to get back to work. No more questions for me, please.”

Where are your fingers?

“Don’t worry, they’re 100% organic.”

Butt