I'm Too Old To Feel Imposter Syndrome In FANDOM

i'm too old to feel imposter syndrome in FANDOM

i'm too OLD to feel imposter syndrome in fandom

I'M TOO OLD to feel imposter syndrome in FANDOM

I need to add korn and tonkla to my journal cover

The big difference between the two to me was that KinnPorsche's tone felt very cohesive. It was a Mafia Romance. The mafia sucks but we're not going to take it TOO seriously because we all know we're here for the sexy men. It's a bit of an indulgent fantasy and that's okay because it's fiction.

But none of the characters felt like caricatures. They all struck a balance between heightened, bigger than life qulaities and a kind of authenticity to them that was just perfectly excuted in most cases.

KinnPorsche was not a perfect show and I actually dislike Kinn and Porsche so much I don't rewatch most of it, but I do think they got that right.

On the other hand, 4 Minutes feels like it wants to be taken more seriously. The mafia is much more realistically portrayed. it is NOT cool. And then there's the scene with Nan and her friend that is so realistic and dark it's GUTTING.

But then we get Warit, the wine swirling caricature walmart Gun and his daughter who also lacks complexity and depth except for the briefest moment when it's kind of too late for me to give a shit. And then that makes the scene where Tyme sees Fasai crying over Warit feel like cheap emotional manipulation of the viewer because I seriously don't feel sorry for either one of them! they don't even feel like real people.

And overall I think the characters were not as convincing or interesting as most of them in KP, in part because there is a lot of consuion about what is an authentic depiction of them. The show is much more about the concept and themes.

The mess that 4 minutes was kinda made me think back on Kinnporsche (which with love sea is still my fave bl to this day) and why I loved it so much.

Don't even wanna compare them (you can't) but since both are boc shows and all that lol

I think KP had great production and an innovative plot that felt new and fresh but was still tropey in a way that only the romance genre can be you know? But like in a good way.

The story was cohesive and easy to follow but still had you on the edge of your seat most times. It was a perfect mix of sexy and sweet (I do appreciate that they weren't sponsored by Durex lol cause that way the sex scenes didn't feel like one long spicy) and every single character and relationship had meaning and were easy to get into and attached to.

It was serious enough to be different from most of what we've gotten this far in the bl genre but also had light hearted and funny moments that fit in the story and weren't too silly or overpowering.

Idk lol long story short I'm seriously struggling with a lot of the bls out right now (not just 4 minutes) and basically just wanted to scream about how much I love Kinnporsche and how desperately I want another bl like it. Or you know another Fortpeat show but that's a whole other post🙈

but to think of it korn did everything FOR tonkla no matter what those things are, he did it for him. because the moment he was gone, he didn't hesitate but to go with him. seems like his life isn't worth while if he's not with tonkla.

but at the same time, you'll think about the what ifs. what if him and fasai got married then what?! how would he get out of that situation?!

it's been days and i still think about them oh hell

It is such a messy situation and that's why it's so compelling. I really think he loved Tonkla and was motivated to do everything he did to

But I also think that, like Great, he was a bit of a coward, afraid to lose the life he was used to, his family. It wasn't purely selfless. But that's okay. he can be flawed and have multiple motivatines and it still doesn't change how he felt about Tonkla.

yesssssss

this really is my FAVORITE KIND of story!!!

saw a "Tonkla's a total psycho who didn't care about Win OR Korn" reaction about Tonkla telling Korn he shot Great and cheated on him.

(not going to get into how to interpret Tonkla because there's just some vagueness and sometimes stiltedness in 4 Minutes in general that I just.. don't want to deal with)

Anyway the important thing is I think Tonkla does probably want to hurt Korn a bit in that moment, and I don't think anyone can blame him for that, EVEN ME. but I think also part of him wants to see how far he can push as a test. After a long time of showing basically unconditional, undemanding love, will Korn still choose him if he isn't the good boyfriend?

It's a common thing especially for people who have had some kind of relationship trauma. Like... I don't trust your love for me so I'm going to push at you and hurt you and if you reject me it just proves I was right not to trust you, after all, and somehow that will make it hurt less.

If he was just a psychopath out for survival he would have handled that whole situation very differently, not ESCALATE IT WHEN 2 PEOPLE HAVE GUNS!