Cushioning A Split

cushioning a split

since Google is useless and pretty much pushes the narrative of the only thing that happens when you search dealing with bpd is either “how to break up with someone with bpd” or “how to get over your triggers with bpd” it can get pretty annoying when you’re about to split/in the middle of doing so and that’s what you’re slapped in the face with looking for resources

what a lot of people don’t understand about this disorder is the littlest things can set it off, and once we’re gone- we’re GONE. if we made up our mind on a matter you best believe it’s staying that way and we have tunnel vision.

obviously im not trying to excuse this behavior, especially if it endangers oneself or something, but this is how the disorder works and we can only repair the damage once it’s been done.

so splits are inevitable. let’s talk about cushioning the fall because right now im going through a split and i genuinely feel as if ive been run over by a train.

distancing isn’t inherently bad. taking some time away from others (if you feel safe enough to do so) is a good way to recharge. you also don’t have the looming threat of yelling at someone you don’t want to necessarily yell at/saying things you’ll regret at a later time/ect. this also is the same for social media- im not talking about impulse blocking- but only putting your phone down and looking at something else for awhile.

sensory grounding is a godsend. take a cold shower. hold ice cubes. eat ice cream. my bpd episodes always leave me unreasonably overheated and sick-feeling, and using sensory tools helps you feel rooted where you are, and also can help distract from self destructive tendencies. (obv if you’re cold, you can take a warm bath or have soup!!)

play a game/listen to music. playing games are really good for my episodes. i understand some of us are in the position where we can’t just shut down our phone for a few hours because sometimes work/loved ones will need us. so having your phone off to the side while your attention is at a game console, or having your phone playing music while you read, draw, ect, is a good way to have your phone for emergencies while not being tempted to use it.

talk to inanimate objects. sometimes we don’t want to involve other people in our splits or episodes. it can be embarrassing and overwhelming. sometimes you just need to get the words out and talking out loud to a random object might help (i use stuffed animals). you can also write it out, read it out loud, and then tear up the paper.

take care of yourself. i know you feel like shit. (i feel like shit writing this believe me) but you will feel a whole lot better if you’ve had a bit to eat, are clean, have fresh clothes on, and are in a comfortable environment.

this disorder does not make you a monster. it does not make you a bad person or partner. you can live a fulfilling life with bpd i promise. you will get through this and come out the other side.

Cushioning A Split

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