Waiting On The Red String Of Fate

Waiting on the red string of fate

Tanya Denali x fem!reader

Chapter 2: searching for you and finding flowers in throats

Summary: Learning that your fated chose not to wait for you leaves you in Heartbreak. Can your situation get any worse? Yes, yes it can. How will you deal with the hand dealt to you now? Unknownst to you that Tanya is trying to find you.

A/N: dunno if anyone actually wanted a part 2 or more, but my brain decided to serve up multiple ends to this warnings: angst? ish I guess(if you know hanahaki tropes and don't like what they sometimes serve up? That's its own warning too I guess)

Here's part 2a(Hanahaki route). Read part one here: Part 1

Part 3

Tanya's fated POV:

You thought when you originally planned to find and meet your soulmate, you'd take the time from the gap year to really get to know who the red string tied you to, but with a broken heart from seeing your soulmate kissing someone else you decided to take off back to your home, never giving them a chance to see that you had found them.

The room was dim, darkness consumed it with the light from your laptop being the only thing illuminating the dreary space, opened to a streaming service playing a movie you felt you couldn't sit through. The couple gets together hooray! A happy ending, you thought sarcastically, except romance and happy endings like that are apparently a bunch of baloney...

You couldn't help but feel another pang in your chest as the memories of that night kept returning, her blonde hair tied half up half down in an elaborate hairdo, her in a beautiful dark dress that worked wonderfully in the lights of the nightclub, her pale skin with the stark contrast of the red string on her hand caressing the face of someone else as she kisses them, questions of why? What ifs? Held back on the tip of your tongue,

Did she ever wait for you? Or did she never believe in the concept of "fated matches", something that you were quickly losing hope for.

...so many childhood dreams of finding her when she probably was never looking for you, the thought sent a stabbing pain to your chest.

You clutch the ache in your heart and then you couldn't help but feel a tickle in your throat, you can't help but cough....it's probably nothing.

So here you were...spending your days at home on the couch wallowing in a broken heart, the next couple of days however the tickle in your throat couldn't help but get worse as you started coughing like someone swallowing something and it going down the wrong windpipe. Perhaps you were getting sick? The cold medicine didn't help, and then one afternoon you felt something come up your throat as you cough into your hand a yellow petal. Looking down at it you couldn't help but feel confusion and fear hitting you.

You don't get to ponder long as another coughing fit hits you like a wave, slowly another petal comes into your hand. Uncertainty and despair hit you, what is going on? Deciding to try to get an answer to your question you go to the library nearby, looking under medical textbooks you eventually find after hours of searching and attempts at muffled coughs a stranger in the same section seeing you cough up a petal, pulling out a book and handing it to you before saying he's sorry for your situation and walking off. That book he handed you held the answer.

Hanahaki disease.

Great, first your soulmate didn't wait for you or want you and now you're sick, coughing up plants as a sign that it is infact unrequited love you have in your lungs. The fact that daffodil petals were coming up just signified it all.

You know you didn't even speak to her but the hopeless romantic in you even as a child always told yourself, you'd love her, the piles of letters you'd written growing up with questions and things you planned, things you'd want to share, a sign of your devotion to your unknown and the innocence of a first love that now sat in a little shoebox in your closet.

Reading through the pages of the hanahaki book and then eventually trying to use the library computers to find anything you could do about the flowers growing in your lungs you find 2 possible routes to take to the affliction growing in you.

Looking at the options you have you see the possibility to do the surgical procedure to remove it, which in turn takes away the feelings for your rejected love. Should you do it though? Maybe...maybe there's still hope and she'll come around? That little voice in you thought, the little aspect that still clung to maybe she'll come to find you eventually.

But you couldn't see that happening thinking back to the man she was kissing.

Your other option was to meet the fate of plants growing in your lungs and dying, not something you want to happen.

Yet the deeper you look at the possibility of a medical procedure and accounts of what people go through, the less inclined you feel to it. Hanahaki was somewhat rare in the world of soulmates where some people find their other half and others don't but it does happen with the wayward crush or falling for others, the people who posted potential after effects of the procedure, a percentage seemed OK, yet there were others with side effects, for some? memory lose along side the loss of these feelings, to others? mentioning feeling like they couldn't love or some other negative effects.

You weren't sure if you wanted to risk a potential eternal feeling like you couldn't love or be happy or memory loss entirely,

Spiraling into a loops of fearful what ifs

It didn't seem worth it.

So here you were with this accursed disease, and the inability to do nothing about it but eventually succumb to the end.

Stuck with an unrequited love that'll slowly destroy you.

The reality of the situation was the end to your fate, to your life. It was like those you only have 24 hours to live but for you, you have as long as you can with the plants in your lungs so now what were you gonna do?

Deciding there was still the rest of the gap year and however long you have you decide to travel, see what you've always wanted to see in the letters you wrote to her but never sent. Thinking back then you'd get the chance to travel with her and give the letters to her when you'd gotten to meet her.

Set on now using what little time you had left, you decided to go explore the world.

Perhaps you'll write some letters to her about your travels before you're gone, if she ever comes looking for you which you can't help but hope for but also doubt. Just a final send off series of goodbye letters as you live however long you've got. Not that you'll know if you'll ever get the chance to give these letters to her, you probably won't.

TANYA'S POV :

Tanya didn't know what was going on with her soulmate, it felt like in every time when she got closer to her, her soulmate would suddenly change directions and their thread would be leading in an entirely different location.

Like whoever they were was running at the possibility that she was close by, which is impossible, there's no way they could've known she was looking for them, but this traveling they were doing was starting to bug her, It would be especially difficult when they went to a sunnier part of the country or traveled off to a different continent entirely. What were they doing that made them go off on a world wide adventure?

The whole aspect of this was frustrating.

Was this how Kate felt when she goes out and can't find her fated?

God she misses her sisters, they at first decided to travel with her for a bit but eventually both returned home to Denali after one too many changes in direction.

It's been almost a year since her attempts to find whoever they are, and it feels like she's getting no closer to finding them. She started to feel hopeless and honestly wanted to try and give up, but this is who the fates tied her to and there was no way she'd go without meeting her fated. There was also the horrible sense of something wrong that wouldn't leave her, that drove her to figure out what the issue was. What was happening to her? Or to whoever she was tied to? She just had to know.

Eventually though one day whilst she was out and about she had the strongest sense to go in a different direction, a gut instinct to just turn around and start going in a different direction, and like the fates chose to have mercy on her, her string did infact change towards that direction her gut was telling her to go.

Now she was headed towards some random city, unknown to the situation of her soulmate that lay ahead

Waiting on the red string of fate

Alt Route Ending 1 [Ending 3b]

Tanya Denali x fem!reader

Chapter 3b: found you, fights, and figuring this out

Summary: She's found you. Important talks are needed, but the hanahaki hits. What will she do about it when she's just found you?

A/N: Back again for another serving of fanfiction? Welcome to the first alt ending, Ending 3b, This ending is not so bad, I think, I did write some of it at 3am, though, so if quality ain't so great, then....idk

not confident in writing dialogue, but I tried :P

It won't hurt as much as ending 3a though!

So uh....Bon Appétit!

Happy readings!

Consider reading the other parts if you haven't

Part 1

Part 2a

First ending: Part 3a (very sad)

Warnings:hanahaki as its own has its own set of warnings( choking on flowers, blood, vomiting) angst? I guess ish idk never sure what's angsty enough anymore. There is character death, not gonna be specific or go into detail bout it, read to find out

You had just returned home from your latest travels due to the hanahaki getting really bad in your eyes, stopping your grand travel, you had already gone to see some major landmarks and places you were curious about. From going to the uk to see Big Ben and the London eye. To Japan to see the streets of Harajuku fashions and the view of Mt Fuji. To many landmarks and touristy spots in America and many more that you could list off.

When the flowers started coming up in bulbs, you thought it wise to take a break and go home, and you'd rather not pass on somewhere far from home.

So off on the first flight back and now in the comfort of your own home you lay.

Your body was growing weaker as you had a trash bin next to you in case the flowers came up again.

You could feel how slowly the hanahaki was taking everything from you. You were so tired. It was like you were constantly drained since your arrival home. Sometimes, you were able to eat something light, but other times, the flowers would come up alongside bits of food from your last meal. It was definitely getting worse.

Looking over to the letters you had written to her, you had recently wrote a final goodbye to her, unsure now what to do with the relatively large amount of envelopes you had written over the years to the person who didn't return your feelings. You were half tempted to send it to the nightclub you first saw her at. Maybe she went there a lot? If she did, the manager of the place would probably know her and give them to her for you.

No way did you have what it took to go find her and potentially break up a relationship or homewreck a situation. She deserved her joy.

The coughing had disrupted your sleep, and the occasional throwing up of food with your flowers had left you in a much weakened state. You just wanted to sleep right now.

Closing your eyes for a bit, hoping to grab some amount of rest, almost lulled into a sense of peace, you hear a knock at the door. Peaking an eye open, you contemplate if you should get up and see who it is, probably no one as you shut your eyes again,

But then the knocking came again, and you knew you could just ignore it, but something in you told you not to. You should answer it, you thought, so slowly you shuffle to the doorway, leaning against the wall for support. Finally, the trek from the couch to the door is made,

Choosing not to look through the peephole, you open the door, wanting to point the wandering lost traveler on their way, and then you regret doing so cause there stood her...

The cause of your pain.

She looks into your eyes with a surprised expression at the suddenness of the door opening, and then as if realizing here you were! her eyes widen a bit. Tanya couldn't help but feel something in her pull her towards the person in front of her. She just felt.....right, and this sensation surprised her that she was momentarily shocked and couldn't stop staring.

You stare into amber eyes that feel warm and right but are brought back to reality to remember she doesn't want you. The universe was cruel like that.

She keeps looking at you, unblinking as if frozen in time, all you could feel was discomfort in your throat as your eyes break contact and you cough into your elbow a wet congested sound. As if to break out of whatever trance she's in, she makes a move to look at her hand and peers her head to see how your strings attached, she takes a moment, unknown to you to school her features, then as if winning a prize she sends a dazzling smile your way.

All you can feel is discomfort, it clearly showing on your face before you swallow what little saliva in your mouth you had. "What do you want?" Your tone sounded flat, uncaring. You remind yourself you can't fall for her. Her smiles falters at your tone, "Hello, I'm Tanya, and I believe we're soulmates," she says in a more chipper tone. You look down and away from the eyes you wish you could spend an eternity with, "we are....." Perhaps that sounded a tad too defeated, but you couldn't find it in yourself to care as much to hide the discomfort and pain of the situation. Why was she here?

You don't notice due to looking away, but Tanya is even more confused at this development, 'why are you not over the moon to finally meet?' she can't help but think.

The silence that hangs between you slowly grows awkward. All you want to do is rest, but all Tanya wants to do is really meet you. You're not sure what to do as suddenly Tanya asks if she can come in. You open the door wider and try to get back to the couch. The fact that you lean against the wall for support does not go unnoticed by her. "Are you alright?" She asks concern evident. You can only mumble back a weak, "I'm fine," before getting back to the couch. You can't help but think that you feel the flowers are growing upwards and another fit will happen soon.

Tanya can't help but look around your place as she enters, a little dusty from the looks of it but the place also has little touches of personality she can't help but wonder more of who you are.

Tanya smells the floral scent first before realizing and then picks up on the notes of blood. Her mind racks for an explanation. There were no flowers around your place. She knows this scent, she's encountered it before. She can't help but look around hoping it isn't so, but as she approaches where you sit in exhaustion on the sofa, she sees the dark circles in you eyes, the slightly gaunt face from the inability to eat, the floral scent that slowly wafts from your mouth followed by a tinge of copper.

Seeing the garbage can by your feet, she peers into it, having her worst fears come true, you have hanahaki.

With eyes full of concern, she turns to you,

"You have hanahaki," the question tumbles from her mouth

Your head is resting on the back of the couch as you open one eye with a grimace.

"Yeah? What about it"

"Who caused this?" Is all she can ask,

Who did you fall for? who denied your affections and caused this cursed disease onto you is all she can wonder.

"Who?" You laugh a bitter laugh,

"Who do you think?"

She doesn't understand as confusion takes her face, trying to solve this puzzle. There were no images of anyone else in your life, and she had only just met you now.

"I saw you before, you know, almost a year ago"

You say, breaking the silence that she brought in the state of confusion

"I had decided to take a gap year to come look for you, and I did. I was so....naieve and hopeful then, and then I found you in a nightclub kissing some guy." You say the end part bitterly reminiscing the memories of that night

Realization dawns on her face

You look up at her, the brokenness in your eyes displayed all too clearly.

"I hope you're happy with him," you say through a smile, though the smile is clearly pained.

She? Was the cause of your hanahaki? Tanya didn't want to believe it. She was the cause of your pain...

You have to understand she loves you

And she's not saying that just because she knows hanahaki goes away with reciprocated love.

Her face shows hurt to think you could think that. She moves to declare that she does, in fact, love you

But all you can do is laugh at that, "You love me? You love me?" A chuckle escapes

"So what about the guy you were with? What about him?"

"He meant nothing to me. He means nothing to me even now," she tries to say

"I SAW YOU, I WAS THERE!"

you try to scream, it came out more hoarse than you intended. Part of you just wanted all of this to go away, the other part could feel the waves of sorrow and sensations of betrayal flaring up from the memory of the first time you saw her, your head was spinning as your emotions took over, some parts irrational jealousy some parts despair.

"So what was he? If he meant nothing, does that mean I'll mean nothing to you, too? Am I just a rebound to you? Are you just getting to know me and then trying to break me even more?

The pain in your voice is evident as your voice starts to get worse, your breathing starts to get labored, strained you start to cough,

And cough

And cough...

The stress of having to have this conversation to the pain of the feelings resurfacing from seeing her in person to actually meeting her made your connection grow, but this one moment started to make your hanahaki worse.

All the variables of the situation caused a reaction and spike in stress and emotions, you know a little more about your soulmate but that makes it worse as the agigtation of the events caused the hanahaki to grow exponentially, the flowers are in bloom and there's nothing you can do.

Tanya sees this and starts to panic

"No no no, you have to believe me, I love you! Please no," as she rushes forward to your side.

Those words fall on deaf ears as you begin to cough

You don't hear a word past no as you're focused more on trying to breathe.

As the coughing fit grew 10 fold you felt this was the worst it's been as the flowers you tried to grasp, wet bloody flowers that came from your mouth and slipped from your grip came unending, they never stopped coming out no matter how hard you try to get rid of them, as you gasp for air. Perhaps this was it is all you can think, partially losing the fight you start to give up.

Tanya watches on as she sees you try to pull out flowers, tossing them to the ground in wet puddles of blood and spit.

She turns your head and tries to help you get the flowers blocking your airway out of you but they wouldn't stop, the hanahaki was in its final stage she realizes and she was going to lose you...

You slowly stop the fight, and that sends a wave of fear to her.

She can't lose you as she suddenly throws caution to the wind, all her hope into this one shot. Fearful that the flowers might claim your life before she even got to know it. She held you close to her in a hug and whispered an apology before biting down on your neck.

You don't see or hear anything at that point, but you do feel the sensation of being held as you start to black out from lack of air. All is starting to slow...

But then, as if being thrown into a freezing lake by someone to wake you up, you suddenly jolt as fire then starts burning you. The pain is unbearable. Were you being burned? You thought you were finally going to find peace, but now all you feel is excruciating pain as you try to scream, but the flowers in your throat partially stop that. Is this a punishment for trying to push away your soulmate? Were the fates mad at you? As thoughts started to go as you gave into the pain.

The scene in this moment would look like a tragic painting in the eyes of an onlooker with no knowledge, a lady holding in her arms her love who's dying of hanahaki, petals, both stained with blood and not surround them on the ground as she whispers apologies and begs her lover to come back to her.

Tanya holds you and whispers her apologies, hoping that it isn't too late for the vampire venom to take effect.

This was a gamble, as she's heard of vampires before suffering the unfortunate circumstance of getting hanahaki. But usually, they'd have already been vampires for a while at that point, there's not been any known cases of a person being turned at the final stage of hanahaki...could it be that they don't make it? No, she's got to hope, you'll make it through this you have to...

She doesn't know what'd she'd do if you don't...

With the hanahaki muffling your screams she quickly goes around your place grabbing what you might need and finding your box of letters to her, grabbing that along she picks you up bridal style and carries you off to her car, she's going to take you home, being near humans would be too dangerous as a newborn.

A day passes, and she can't help but worry she stays by your side and waits, hoping that the venom can counter the hanahaki.

When she had gotten home, everyone came out to see her carrying you, the concern evident, and the realization that you were her mate also held some impact.

A day goes by and your heart beat stops your mouth still has flowers but the growth of them has slowed, some around the edges seemed to have wilted which she takes as a good sign, she tries to help take out the flowers hoping it'll help you.

There's not too much on hanahaki with vampires at such a late stage, usually if it's a normal vampire who's been around for a while they have ways around it, but if they don't fight it they get weakened, and it causes issues with life. But you were hopefully on your way to becoming a newborn, and she hasn't heard of any cases as such. So all she can do is stay by your side and wait, pleading to the fates that it works.

Whilst in this time though she does take to reading the letters you addressed to her, her heart warms at the oldest looking letter in the box, faded and worn down in an aged envelope with childish scrawl, she gets to know you through the years from the letters, and to say it's endearing is to say the least. It gives her hope that maybe you guys can make it through this.

The letter of you seeing her that night, though, hurts to read, she can feel the pain in the writing, and the next letters after a sense of you accepting your fate whilst traveling has her sad. Silently swearing to herself, she promises to show you that she does love you, that you are loved, and now that she's found you, she won't let you go.

On the third day, you awaken, your eyes open, red as blood.

Your instincts takes over screaming that you crave something to sate the inferno in your throat, as you move to sit up your eyes look around, landing on her, the instincts in you tell you that she's important to you. You move forward,

As Tanya calls for someone to bring her some blood, she has prepared for your awakening. Glad to see you had awakened, relieved she has more time with you, you look ever the part of a newborn besides the flowers cascading like a waterfall out of your mouth, overtime some had died and she had pulled some out but the core of the flowers was still there, she didnt want to risk it whilst you were still human. Now that you were immortal, she hoped it would hurt you a little less if she ripped the flowers out of your throat.

You try to move to her, but as she was handed an animal, she tackles you to the ground, keeping you down.

Apologizing saying it's gonna hurt as she rips the stems and flowers from your mouth with force, you gag as you feel stems and roots start to come up. Gasping and taking in a breath, there were still more stems deeper down your mouth, but this will have to do for now as she cracks open the squirrel and trickles the blood into your mouth, it tastes off but you drink regardless as it quenches the fire in your throat, you're able to swallow down the blood as you move to grab the squirrel draining it dry, she rushes off and drags in another animal, a doe, already taken down you move quickly and start to drain this one dry as well, despite the slight difficulty of the hanahaki slowly trying to regrow in your throat, you fight on still drinking.

As you drink, Tanya slowly runs her hands through your hair, praising you

"You're doing so good." Some part of you can't help but preen at the praise.

Eventually, after another animal or two, this ends as the thirst in your throat is quenched enough. Your mind clears for a moment to see her, really see her as you gain some semblance of control again, the bond of a mate is much more prominent whilst you're a newborn, and you almost forget about everything and give in to her

......

Almost.

A flash of the memory that hurt you about a year ago flashes through your mind, and in your emotional newborn state, you couldn't help but flinch. Part of your instinct screams to go to her, yet the part of you that's hurt and jealous fights back as you're torn.

Tanya sees this and can't help but feel pain at the conflict going on, she could see that you were torn between the intensity of the instincts for the bond to shine through versus the pain you had felt. It hurt to see you so conflicted. You didn't even realize you were a vampire yet, and that was a different bridge she would have to cross soon.

Not wanting to see your internal war anymore, she goes towards you, your eyes are shut as if you have a headache and are in agony. You don't feel it until she does it, but she's hugging you. Your mind tries to fight her, but your instincts wants you to melt into her. It hurts, the irrational side in you makes you want to cry, slowly, slowly, you start to break down as you stop fighting her hold.

She brings your head to the crook of her neck, cradling it in such a way, trying to comfort you.

It works as you stop fighting her.

You've calmed enough that she thinks she can speak and have you listen to her, so she starts.

"I know you believe I don't return your affections, but I do." You try to wiggle away at her words, but she uses all her strength to hold you there.

"You may not believe it, but I've lived a millenia before I could meet you", you stop squirming at that, confusion evident at the fact she said she's over 1000 years old.

"I had lost hope after a long time cause before I realized you were around, I had stopped looking at my string after all that time..."

"My string before you was dull and was short and lead nowhere.....I thought long ago that you were gone back then before I knew who you were, before I got to meet you"

"You have to know I never meant to hurt you when you saw me that night...I didnt know you were there and even though I didn't know, it's no excuse but even if I did know, you have to understand it was not my intention to hurt you...i would never hurt you intentionally...ever, you mean so much to me..."

Your mind brought the memory up and all you could feel was the desire to cry

"I've lived for a long time, and I once lost someone"

The jealousy rears it's green head around at who it could have been until her next words

"In a sense, she was basically my mother"

You stop and couldn't help but feel bad at the stupid feeling of jealousy. She had lost someone...

"This was long ago but our family at the time was really close, and the loss hurt...

You weren't around yet, and I didn't know how long you would take to be around, and the grief was all consuming...

It led me to turn to others, to just feel something..."

At this point, you were a mix of conflicted emotions...

"The man you mentioned that night meant nothing to me, my love. You say you saw me kiss him, and you might assume more, but I did nothing... I swear it"

"Something in me felt wrong after a bit, so I left, I can only assume the wrongness was the feelings through our bond..."

"I didn't realize it until my sister Irina, you may meet her later, pointed out to me that my string actually led somewhere, I decided to come looking for you after that"

"It may be hard to believe, but I am a vampire"

Yeah, that was definitely hard to believe you thought

"But when I found you and when...when the hanahaki almost took you I couldn't let that happen, I had only just found you and I didn't want to have to say goodbye, not before I could know you..."

"I'm sorry for bringing you pain, but I'm not sorry for changing you... you have to know how much you mean to me....I love you..."

You didn't know how to feel, a part of you felt her sincerity through her words and got a sense that she was being truthful....but the part of you that was still uncertain didn't know what to do...

"You don't have to believe me if you don't want to...but I will make it known for as long as I have to that I love you and I will always love you" she squeezes you a little tighter at those words

And for a second you let go of the denial for a bit that she doesn't actually love you, that what she says is false....and you can breathe a little easier, the hanahaki isn't entirely gone, there's that uncertainty to everything, but for now you let go of some of the feeling that's been hurting you, and this allows the hanahaki to weaken allowing you the breath that you no longer need.

You feel her turn and kiss your head, and some part of you warms at the gesture.

Your arms raise, and hug her back.

You know this won't be easy but you have to make it known.

"I forgive you... kind of...though part of me is still weary at all this.

Part of me feels like it can't trust you right away...another part of me despite this still holds love for you even after all of this. I'm confused, and I...I just don't know, I want there to be an us, but part of me feels that maybe that won't work..."

Tanya's unbeating heart hurts at the idea of the uncertainty in you, but she knows she would do whatever and tells you that she will try her best to mend the heart she accidentally broke even if it takes forever.

Her words soothe your pain a bit and the flowers relax a little more.

You know it won't be an easy road, but you and her will try to work to a point where you could be together...

You were both done waiting on the red string. It's finally brought you together. Now you have the road ahead to walk together in your eternity to figure this out.

Alt end 3b for waiting on the red string of fate will either be out today or tmrw, maybe today idk

Is it emotional sad pain as 3a ending? Non so like there's that to look forward to if you read it

I’m happy to announce that now it’s possible to taste a mocktail based on my artwork “Second Chance”! You can find the drink at Choushudou Bar Lounge Terrace in Odawara!

Music in video is "Color Particles" by Ponpoko in the Distance.

The artwork was created for Harugo No Mayu “From the Soil” prints collection and it’s available for purchase here: https://www.harugonomayu.com/shop/p/second-chance-by-waneella

You can also make the “Second Chance” mocktail at home! 

The recipe includes:

Apricot syrup

Homemade tea syrup

Ginger beer (non alcoholic softdrink)

Grapefruit juice

Blue curacao syrup

Butterfly pea flower syrup

— where's the walkthrough site that'll show me how to beat this deathloop of worry

ah my favorite zelda game *looks at smudged writing on my hand* Wind Baker