I Know I Usually Just Reblog Whump Stuff But This Is Too Good

I know I usually just reblog whump stuff but this is too good

You have a completely useless superpower in a world full of amazing superpowers. You have been a laughing-stock for years, until you started using your powers for evil… nobody is laughing now.

“Trust yourself. You’ve survived a lot, and you’ll survive whatever is coming.”

— Unknown

Hello there Bug!! I've been thinking about Archie and Simon a LOT they have a house in my brain I love them so much

So of course I have obtained some headcanons for them and I just wanted to know what you thought of them. So this isn't an ask exactly but I wanted you to see it :)

You have my permission 100% to make ANY of these canon of course (it would make me super happy but like you don't have to obviously)

SO OKAY onto the headcanons

Archie really loved fireworks pre-superpowers! As a kid he always got very excited to watch them because he had such an appreciation for the beautiful way they lit up the sky with vibrant colors and the way everyone around him seemed so joyful when they came. And after he got his powers he was more than a little heartbroken because he simply couldn't enjoy them any more without enduring excruciating pain every time he heard the booms.

Simon keeps so much Archie stuff at his house. A lot of it is for medical or comfort purposes, like ear muffs and weighted blankets for sensory issues or a million bandages and other med supplies LITTERING a bunch of rooms. But also. Some of it is just for fun, like souvenirs based on Archie's interests (Star Wars figurines?) and many many of his favorite foods all over the kitchen. You've already mentioned him keeping his favorite foods around so that's not really a headcanon but this is kind of an expansion on it

Archie has bad dreams. A lot of bad dreams. Usually he doesn't tell Simon about them, but he does talk to him. Simon can tell something is wrong, but he can also tell that it's purely emotional and that Archie isn't ready to share, so he doesn't pry. He just stays with him and talks to him about whatever he wants to talk about. He'll be ready eventually.

One time it came up in a conversation that Simon was a dog person who wanted to have a dog someday, one thing led to another, and he said he'd let Archie name them. Archie got SUPER EXCITED and decided he would take this job VERY SERIOUSLY and started brainstorming immediately and Simon eventually had to be like "okay I don't even have one yet and you need to take a breath"

As a sequel-headcanon to the first headcanon about the fireworks, Simon goes to fireworks shows whenever they're in his area, not because he particularly likes them but because Archie is always overjoyed when he comes back with blessedly soundless pictures and videos of the fireworks for him.

If you've read this far thank you so much I LOVE YOUR WRITING I LOVE YOUR GUYS

ANON THIS IS GENUINELY ONE OF THE BEST THINGS I COULD HAVE OPENED MY ASK BOX TO. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT.

okay right off the bat. every single thing you said is canon. everything. you got their characterization EXACTLY right and if you ever have more headcanons about them or any of my other Guys PLEASE don't be afraid to send em in because this made my YEAR

under the cut i'll elaborate on them because they are genuinely. so perfect. anon you are so awesome.

✮⋆˙

archie and fireworks:

headcanon IMMEDIATELY accepted. archie loves colorful things that sparkle. he LOVED fireworks as a kid. i'd even venture to say he liked how loud they are. he liked the crackly ones.

i feel like he'd look forward to every 4th of july just to see all of them.

the first 4th of july he had after he got his powers was. rough.

i'd like to think he didn't fully understand what his powers were for a while. he was only 7 after all. so maybe he thought it would be okay.

and then the first of the fireworks went off. and archie though his eardrums were genuinely exploding.

i also would like to think his mom wasn't that equipped yet. she didn't have noise cancelling headphones or anything like that, so that night archie spent the entirety of it in the closet, every blanket and pillow he had pulled over his ears, sobbing.

(don't worry it gets happier in the last one)

archie stuff at simon's place:

UGH THIS ONE IS SO SO GOOD. I GIGGLED AND SQUEALED WHEN I READ IT

so yes. absolutely yes. archie spends maybe 35% of his time in his own apartment and the rest is spent crashing at simon's because he just cant stay away

the thought of simon having things for archie's sensory issues makes me SO happy. he definitely has the weighted blankets and he also installed lights with different undertones that wouldn't give archie as much of a headache.

he has so much medical supplies. everywhere. he is perpetually tripping on first aid kits and empty boxes of gauze (don't worry. archie helps him clean up)

simon has also learned to anticipate archie's snack cravings. he knows exactly when he gets tired of goldfish and goes to pick up some oreos and peanut pretzels because he knows that's next in the rotation.

AND SIMON ABSOLUTELY HAS SOME STAR WARS STUFF. some of it was gifts from archie but also some of it was stuff he bought himself because it reminds him of his Friend. he has a little grogu plush that lives on his couch

archie and bad dreams:

this one is so sad but unfortunately very canon.

archie dreams of a lot of things.

sometimes, its a flashback of the day he got his powers. the excruciating pain. the guys that did it. the needle. those ones hes a little bit more open to talking with simon about. simon knows what happened to him. he's there for him.

the ones he won't tell simon about are the ones where he fails to save simon from something. its a recurring dream. different scenarios, but all the same outcome-- simon dies because he wasn't fast enough. he can't tell simon about those dreams but they eat him up inside. its a constant source of Stress for him.

they will talk it through eventually.

archie and simon's future dog:

i truly don't have much to add to this one because it was so perfect. EVEN THE DIALOGUE YOU HAD FOR IT IS SO PAINFULLY IN CHARACTER. JUST THE

"archie. archie please take a breath. there is no dog yet. archie please."

UGH this one made my heart so warm

archie and fireworks PT 2:

at first, i was like "mmm that probably wouldn't happen because simon doesn't like the fireworks either"

but then i realized that's what made it so good.

sure, simon doesn't really enjoy the fireworks all that much, but he can physically stand to go see them. its uncomfortable, but not unbearable.

so OF COURSE he would do that for archie. every 4th of july, simon sets archie up in his room, with pillows over the windows and doors to muffle outside noise. he gives him the soundproofing headphones and the weighted blanket and shuts off all the lights and then tells him

"stay here. i'll be back."

and he goes all the way across the city to get the best view of the fireworks and he videos the entire thing. all of it.

and the next morning, he and archie watch it together on the couch and archie has to fight his tears every single time.

because he never thought he'd find someone to go the extra mile for him. he never thought he'd find someone that loved him enough to do anything like this.

but he did.

✮⋆˙

anon thank you so so so SO much. seeing people so excited about my boys genuinely filled me with such Glee. if you have ANY more, PLEASEEE send them. i promise my ask box is always open to you. i am forever in your debt. THANK YOU!!

whumperless whump event day 19: the whump morning after! @whumperless-whump-event

tending to injuries / domestic hurt comfort / “let's check the bandages, okay?”

see this post for character information!

caretaker: Simon

whumpee: Archie

guys. it's here. i can't explain why but i think this is my favorite simon and archie fic i've written and i literally wrote it the week after i made them so PLS ENJOY!!

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“Ow ow ow! Fuck!”

“Easy, easy! Jeez Archie, relax, would you? Are you trying to run a marathon or something?”

“I have to pee!”

Simon pinched the bridge of his nose and huffed.

“We’ll take it slow. The last thing we need is you popping a stitch because you're rushing it. That cut was a pain in the ass to suture.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever. Just help me? Please?”

Simon sighed.

Patrol nights were always rough on Archie. At least during the fights, he was always too hopped up on adrenaline to notice how injured he really was, and he usually conked out before Simon finished patching him up.

The mornings, however, were unrelenting. 

Every ache, bruise, slash and sprain from the night before now made itself very apparent, and Archie wasn’t able to ignore it.

As for this particular night, it had been a pretty rough fight between Archie and some lackies from a well-known drug operation he had been trying to dismantle. They were dosed on strength enhancers that rivaled Archie’s own abilities, and while he came out on top, it definitely wasn’t an easy fight.

Now, he was sporting a black eye, several broken ribs, a knife wound to the gut, a sprained ankle, a mild concussion, and a mosaic of bruises all over his body.

Rough night indeed.

“Alright, let’s get you up then,” Simon bent down and wrapped his arm under Archie’s. Archie braced as Simon started to guide him up, grunting sharply when they started to move from the couch.

“Go slower.”

“And here I thought you were about to piss yourself.”

“Just go!”

He grit his teeth against the all-consuming jolt of pain that overtook his body. God, the morning after really did suck.

“Alright alright, almost there..” Simon soothed, taking a bit more of his weight. “Just a little more..”

After a ridiculous amount of time, they were both finally standing. Archie was heavily favoring his left ankle as he began his hobble to the bathroom door with Simon’s help. Every step was agony.

“Alright, I’ll be fine from here,” He stated with a wince. He waved Simon away from the hallway, but Simon.. didn’t move.

“Nuh uh. No way. The last time I left you on your own, you fell and cracked your head on the bathtub. I’m waiting right here in the hall.”

“Ew, no! That’s weird! Go away!”

“It’s only weird because you’re making it weird. You forget I’m literally in school to do this for a living. This is strictly professional.”

“Whatever. Weirdo.”

“Strictly. Professional.”

Archie shot Simon a weak scowl as he shut the restroom door behind him.

Simon waited awkwardly for a few moments before he heard a zip, a flush, and the whoosh of the faucet. 

Archie merged from the bathroom, looking absolutely unsteady on his wobbling legs. He was just about to pitch forward when Simon closed the distance between them, slipping an arm around Archie’s waist. “Alright. Back to the couch we go.”

It took another eternity, but finally, Archie was lying down again, significantly paler than when he had started. 

“This sucks.” He whined, breathing deeply through his nose as the aftershocks of pain reverberated through his bones.

“Yeah, well, maybe you should think about that before you try to take on six guys that are three times your size,” Simon retorted, replacing the ice pack on Archie’s ribs. “That was the most stupid thing I’ve seen you do in a while, and I’ve seen you do some pretty stupid things.”

Archie would have crossed his arms indignantly if he could.

“You should have seen the other guys..” He muttered under his breath, rather childishly.

Still, despite his banter, the way sweat was beading on Archie’s brow and the way his face was void of all color was not lost on Simon.

“Hey, let’s check those bandages, okay? I think you might have popped a stitch after all.”

“I did not. I would know.”

“You absolutely wouldn’t. Lift your shirt.”

Archie rolled his eyes and slowly lifted the fabric to reveal… a bright red stain on the gauze.

He didn’t have to look at Simon to know the kind of smirk he was sporting.

Simon made quick work of replacing the suture and re-wrapping the wound. His hands worked deftly and with a practiced manner that Archie found himself feeling.. saddened by. He couldn’t quite explain it. It was more of the realization that Simon had been doing this for a while, enough that it was second nature, and Archie had done.. well, nearly nothing for him. He had yet to repay him for his undying generosity.

“Simon..” He began. His voice faltered the slightest bit. “Do you.. ever get tired of.. this.” He motioned vaguely to himself.

At the sudden change in conversation, a mixture of anger, hurt, and surprise flashed across Simon’s face. 

“What do you mean?”

“I just mean.. well..” Archie swallowed the lump in his throat and averted his gaze. “This can’t be fun for you. You come back from classes, from work, probably exhausted, and have to deal with me. I just.. I don’t want you to think you have to do it. I’ll be fine on my own if you don't want to. You’ve taught me enough that I--”

“Archie. Look at me.”

Archie drew his gaze up and met Simon’s unwavering eyes. 

“Listen to me. I don’t ever want you to think I am just dealing with you. I do this because I genuinely want to. Nobody is forcing me, I’m doing it because you deserve it. Archie, I know I don’t say it a lot, but you do so much to help others,” He said breathlessly, taking Archie hand and holding it tightly. “You deserve someone that will do the same for you.”

Suddenly, Archie found himself scrubbing viciously at traitorous tears that spilled over. Before he could say anything else, Simon pulled him into an embrace. It was the kind of hug that cradles every part of your soul, every part of your being.

He wept openly in Simon’s arms.

“You’re stuck with me, whether you like it or not,” He hummed, rubbing Archie’s back and pulling away slowly.

“So you’d better start learning how to dodge.”

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MORRI MY BELOVED

Whumperless Whump Event day 8

Migraine - whumpee Morrigan - 495 words

--

There is a bruise at the base of Morrigan's neck.

It throbs up into the base of their skull and echoes in their head like an empty auditorium stage. Pounding, bouncing back and forth, amplifying the pain from the simple butt-end of a gun the day before.

It makes their lack of humanity all the worse. Not because they can't get headaches without physical damage–but because they can't take pills for it.

“You look miserable.”

Morrigan doesn't look up. Their head is too nicely cradled in the palms of their hands to bother moving. “What do you say, usually, to the obvious? ‘No shit, Sherlock’?”

“Sassy,” JJ says, closing the door behind him. It echoes, sending an uncomfortable jolt up their spine. “Want me to do something about it, or leave you alone?”

“Nothing you can do,” they say, as calm as they can.

It throbs again. Talking. Their voice resonates through the metal plating, making an unfamiliar vibration through their skull. It hurts.

They take a breath.

“...I can close the curtains?” JJ says, his voice now much quieter. It's laced with sympathy.

“Not gonna do much.” The strange buzzing gets worse, and they bite their tongue. It's awful, it really is. “But thanks for the offer.”

“Okay,” he says, in an if-you-say-so kind of tone.

The silence is barely a respite for the aching. It threads its way through their jaw, twinging against their temple, pushing up against their eyes and reverberating through their head like a symphony of pure, unfiltered agony.

Each passing second makes the clock tick.

Each tick is like fire through their brain.

It… hurts. It really, really fucking hurts.

They press the palm of their hand deeper into their cheekbone, biting back a hiss of pain. It's just a bruise. There's no fracture, they checked. It's just a–

It pulses, horribly, and their breath hitches, and they can't do this anymore.

“Jace?” They whisper, shakily.

The couch dips. JJ's hand rests on their shoulder. “Hey. I'm here. What do you need?”

“Hurts. Hurts."

“Oh, Morri.”

He's rubbing their back. The pain doesn't stop. They want to cry.

“Sound or light?”

“JJ–” they reach out, unconsciously.

He grabs their hand, and tightens his grip. “Right here. I'm right here. Breathe. It's okay. It'll pass.”

“It hurts, it–”

“I know, Morrigan, but you're strong enough to stop me in my tracks in a fight. You can do this. You just need to breathe.”

Breathe. In. Out. They force it, through the riot, the cacophony inside of their skull, and squeezes JJ's hand hard enough to leave a mark.

JJ never lets go. Not until Morrigan is relaxing, until the breaths have gone from tense and forced to shaky and quick. Not until their eyes are closing, systems begging for shutdown, for sleep.

“I'll be here when you come back,” JJ says softly.

Morrigan lays their head on his shoulder, the dull ache quieting as they fall into stasis.

--

this is the first one I wrote for them. i regret nothing. enjoy!!

Hi Bug!!! As I'm sending this it's super late so I might not be incredibly coherent but I just thought of a VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION and I simply must send it now because if I wait until morning I Will Forget

It's been mentioned in fics before that Simon and Archie text each other (probably usually when Archie needs help / medical attention)

So I absolutely have to ask

WHAT are their contact names for each other

(And as a bonus, how do they go about keeping Archie's secret identity safe? Someone could be a snoop or even just see their text history by accident after all)

THIS IS SUCH A SILLY QUESTION ANON I LOVE IT

✮⋆˙

OKAY. so when they first met, their contact names were just "simon" and "archer" because they werent very close

simon's has stayed relatively consistent as "Archie" with different emojis, but it's usually just 🐈 because archie asked him to

now. here is a list of the names simon has been in archie's phone and what he is now:

simon guevara

simon g

dr guy

nurse joy

911

squidward (this was when simon was being Particularly grumpy.)

C3PO

si

and currently: ice king (from adventure time. pls tell me someone gets it)

as for how they keep the identity secret, there really isn't any rhyme or reason to it. simon refers to vigil activities as archie's "night job" and they simply say v if they need to talk about vigil directly. a typical conversation could look like this:

ice king: Are you still going out tonight?

Archie🐈: what on the night job?

ice king: Yes.

Archie🐈: i'm out right now but i was gonna end early. wrist sprain i think

ice king: ??? You didn't call me.

Archie🐈: well i was gonna drop by duhhh

Archie🐈: speaking of which

Archie🐈: do you still have the double stuff oreos?? im so hungry dude

ice king: I made food.

Archie🐈: OOH WHATD U MAKE??

ice king: Healthy food. Eat that first. Then oreos.

Archie🐈: fineee

(archie proceeded to sneak oreos as soon as he got to simon's apartment)

✮⋆˙

THANK YOU FOR THE QUESTION ANON I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS LITTLE TEXT CONVO IT WAS SOO SILLY TO DO