featherofeeling - I guess I go here now
I guess I go here now

sometimes-southern US dweller. in my second decade of fandom. I mostly read fic and write long reviews on AO3. multifandom, but currently (and always & forever) entranced by Victoria Goddard's Hands of the Emperor. always down to talk headcanons, sacred text analysis, or nerdy stuff. she/her.

797 posts

I Mean Are You Sure She's Straight? Maybe She Had A Crush On Your Suitemate And Doesn't Know How To Express

I mean are you sure she's straight? Maybe she had a crush on your suitemate and doesn't know how to express it, or talk about being bi yet.

Petition for my roommate to stop jokingly calling herself a lesbian

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More Posts from Featherofeeling

9 years ago

Please help me get better so I can write more for you.

Guys I hate to do this again, but I need help. I had really thought by now that we’d be in a better situation, that my health would have gotten better or at the very least remained stable enough that I could live with my symptoms. But I can’t. I can’t go on living with acute attacks of pain in my side that take my breath away so that I can’t even cry, and I certainly cannot go on enduring the chronic, exhausting pain that eating is causing me. (living on clear broth atm for the last few weeks) I need testing and I need it sooner rather than later, and my insurance is fighting me for every penny not going to cover enough, though they have since took a chunk out of my previous bills.

At the moment it looks like my endoscopy and biopsy alone is going to cost anywhere between $3000 to $4000, and my insurance is unlikely to cover all of it. I also need another ultrasound which my insurance is bringing down to $300 from $500. None of this even covers the pathologist fee or the anesthetist who cannot give me an estimated cost at this time, nor does it cover follow up treatments. This is to say little of the medical bills from January when a routine CT scan very nearly could have killed me as I went into delayed anaphylactic shock from the IV contrast solution. That bill is still being disputed by my provider, but is so far sitting at several thousand dollars worth of medical debt. (Update: as of this morning they have adjusted their costs by a few hundred dollars but it’s still bordering on $1.5k+)

I’m applying for medical assistance, but because we earn just above the threshold, help is unlikely, leaving us to negotiate payment plans which still leave us with very little money to live on each month. God forbid something else in the house breaks because we wont be able to fix it without help. My parents— who are 4000 miles away— are already paying my remaining dental bills.

Several people have told me to set up a gofundme or a youcaring, and I am looking into those right now and hope to set them up properly once I have a more accurate idea of what my bills will be (and will post photos and screenshots of them), but in the meantime my paypal is up and running. (if you cannot use paypalme then the email for it is fi.s.bizzel @ live.com) Even if all you can spare is $2, that’d $2 toward bus fair to get to clinics so husband doesn’t need to keep driving me everywhere.

In return I will write you anything you want. Anything. My main fandoms are Discworld, Dishonored, Dragon Age, The Parasol Protectorate and Finishing School, The Lies of Locke Lamorra and some Star Wars but I will turn my hand to just about anything for you. I can even post original content if anyone would be interested in that. I’m currently working on a polyamorous supernatural romance which several people have expressed interest in, donating would enable me to keep working on this and hopefully get it up on amazon kindle sooner, and I would count donations towards receiving a final e-format of the book if you so desire.

And I know it’s a lot to ask for, I really do know. I’ve looked at my friends posting things like this before and wished I could do more than give them my last $10 for that month. But even if all you can do is reblog and send well wishes, that too will help a lot and I will forever appreciate it. I wouldn’t be doing this again if it wasn’t bordering on desperate, and I hope you can forgive me, especially when I know there are others out there so much worse off. But I really am at breaking point mentally with trying to deal with this. I can’t hide that anymore.

Thank you to everyone so far who has sent me lovely messages and words of encouragement. You give me hope and strength where I thought there was no more to be had. I love you, and I hope you know that.

-tumblr mom x

(updated for insurance updates, more fandoms, and emphasis that I am offering an e-book in return for a donation, which if you would like a personalized e-copy, please let me know <3)


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9 years ago

it baffles me that theres people who can just… just sit down and take out their homework and be like “time to work yes” and actually…get things done???? without a problem??? and move on?????? thats wild


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9 years ago

I regret to inform you all that, as excellent an example of misguided teachers or unscientific Americans as this would be, it was unlikely to have been the OP's history teacher who sent in the Barbie doll, as Harvey Rowe, the author of this letter, writes that it is a spoof. http://emganin.tripod.com/home/id18.html

Can We Please Talk About How Our History Teacher Sent A Barbie To The Smithsonian As Proof Of The Presence

Can we please talk about how our history teacher sent a barbie to the smithsonian as proof of the presence of man two million years ago

9 years ago

"BECAUSE YOU HAVE ONCE AGAIN MISTAKEN INERTIA FOR REST" Holy fuck that's what that fugue state really is

WHY ARE YOU LONELY: A TEXT GAME
I HAVE A FEW THEORIES

by Mallory Ortberg

WHY ARE YOU LONELY: CHOOSE ONE

FAILED TO NURTURE RELATIONSHIPS BORN OUT OF CONVENIENCE ONCE CHANGING CIRCUMSTANCES REQUIRED ACTIVE PARTICIPATION FROM YOU

WATCHED NETFLIX FOR SEVEN HOURS INSTEAD OF SLEEPING BECAUSE YOU HAVE ONCE AGAIN MISTAKEN INERTIA FOR REST

CONFUSED “SELF-CARE” WITH “SELF-INDULGENCE” AGAIN; YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF EXPERIENCING GENUINE REFRESHMENT OR RESTORATION BUT YOU DO SPEND A LOT OF MONEY AT NAIL SALONS

ONCE AGAIN CONFUSED “EMPATHY” FOR “TAKING RESPONSIBILITY” AND INVITED OTHERS TO UNLOAD THEIR EMOTIONAL BURDENS ON YOU WITHOUT FIRST ENSURING RECIPROCITY, WHOOPS

ANTICIPATORILY BLAMED OTHER PEOPLE FOR NOT CALLING YOU WITHOUT ONCE ASKING YOURSELF WHY YOU CAN’T CALL THEM

ASSUMING ANY TIME SPENT TOGETHER THAT YOU HAD TO INITIATE IS SOMEHOW LESS AUTHENTIC THAN REQUESTS FOR TIME SPENT TOGETHER THAT YOU ACCEPT

BELIEVE “PERIODICALLY EXPERIENCING THE HUMAN CONDITION” MEANS SOMETHING IS FUNDAMENTALLY BROKEN WITHIN YOU

CONSTANTLY LIE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS THEN WONDER WHY YOU FEEL LIKE NO ONE KNOWS YOU

MISTAKENLY BELIEVE THAT NEGATIVE FEELINGS MUST BE MISTAKES EITHER TO BE AVOIDED OR FIXED RATHER THAN EXPERIENCED

DESIRE TO BE FULLY UNDERSTOOD WITHOUT THE CONCOMITANT WILLINGNESS TO FULLY EXPLAIN YOURSELF

BELIEVE TRYING AT SOMETHING A LITTLE BIT SHOULD RESULT IN INSTANT PERFECTION AND FIND YOURSELF HORRIFIED AND ASHAMED OF MAKING REALISTIC PROGRESS

TRY COCONUT OIL

CONVINCED THAT HONESTLY ADMITTING YOUR PROBLEMS WILL DRIVE PEOPLE AWAY BECAUSE NO ONE LIKES COMPLAINING SO INSTEAD YOU OFFER EVERYONE A PISS-POOR SIMULACRUM OF BEING EASY-GOING

STILL JUST WAITING FOR THINGS TO HAPPEN TO YOU INSTEAD OF EXPRESSING YOUR DESIRES ALOUD

THINK YOU’RE BEING PLAYFUL BUT ACTUALLY YOU JUST GET MEAN WHEN YOU DRINK

SPEND ALL YOUR TIME SAYING THINGS LIKE “EITHER’S GOOD” OR “DOESN’T MATTER TO ME” WHEN IN FACT ONLY ONE THING IS GOOD AND IT DOES MATTER TO YOU BUT YOU THINK “NOT EXPRESSING A PREFERENCE” IS THE BEST PERSONALITY TRAIT YOU HAVE TO OFFER OTHERS

PEOPLE ACTUALLY MORE AWARE OF YOUR BARELY-CONCEALED CONTEMPT FOR THEIR CHOICES AND RELATIONSHIPS THAN YOU THINK THEY ARE

NO GOOD REASON, SORRY


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