Comic

comic

i have literally zero qualms about the source of meat that i eat as long as it is clean and poses no threat to my health. turtle? let me have a lirtle. raccoon? i want some soon! belly of horse? well, of course! dog's leg? don't make me beg! i could go on but i believe you get the picture. i really don't give a shit. obviously there's ethical concerns but like if you presented me a filet of human flesh that was harvested off of someone who wanted me to eat them i'd take a bite. i would. i mean, think about it. if someone wanted you to eat their flesh, i feel like that would make it more ethical than a pig who wanted more than anything than to live. the difference between me and you, though, is that i wouldn't get hard over it. FLACCID. PENIS. the entire way through. not a drop of moisture nor tingle of sensation in my briefs. also. can we go back i forgot to put in my mom's rewards membership number.

my horrible son squangle he has every disease and is banned from running for office

burdened with glorious purpose (writing 2d anime man smut on the internet)

— Arthur Miller, The Crucible

Every 500 years, the dragon who founded the Academy arrives to choose a student to tutor directly. You are the weakest mage on record and she has chosen you.