Playlist Idea: Music To Yacht To Featuring This SongIf Someone Doesnt Do It, I Will Lol

Playlist idea: “Music To Yacht To” featuring this song…If someone doesn’t do it, I will Lol

All white//Alright

Pretty sure I’m splitting on a friend. But if it’s for my own good is it technically splitting??

My manic, right now, feels… very normal. And now I am second-guessing if I am actually bipolar or if self diagnosed to BPD is in my head. Like maybe I'm just a normal person that sometimes gets very depressed and doesn't know how to handle it.

I recently heard a story about a diagnosed BPD patient and it seems so far off from me but not really. Like the more extreme version of what I go through every day. Granted they were on drugs very heavily but still…

Like I have a more tame version of BPD… BPD Lite™️ if you will lol.

Or maybe I just want it to be BPD because it's "cool" and not just Bipolar II. Obviously I know there's nothing cool about being borderline. And obviously I'm a phony.

I don't know I just feel like a different person every day and I feel like I've been a fake version of normal for a couple of months. But it feels great to be “normal”.

Maybe it's the lack of drugs. I'm almost certain the lack of drugs is what makes my mental health a little bit more stable.

Maybe my mental health really just depends on what is going on with my life. What mental illness is that?? Or is that even mental illness?

I wonder if narcissism affects how BPD presents itself in a person. I feel like that's the case for me. Like I have a little bit more control over it or like it's a lot easier to mask to other people.

Boy oh boy am I spilling my guts lol. I may delete this eventually maybe I will regret this when I'm famous. Or maybe this will be relatable to someone. I'm 30 so who really cares at this point lol. But I do very much care about what people think of me so maybe I will delete this tomorrow. For now I'll keep this up… This is just a very odd stream of thoughts I guess.

Enjoy my tumblr post I guess

Its okay to struggle, we pray so we can overcome it