Alternatively.

alternatively.

Looking at the digital clock, red numbers aglow, the light doesn’t outstretch to where the room is graced with a moonlit hum. There, between these two echoing waves of luminescence, a shadow rests. A deep, deep, shadow, that you look into like you look to the bottom of the ocean. Unseen endlessness. These shadows exist in other ways, between other glints and gleams, these shadows pool up, with no discernable depth. There in those shadows, in this void, I indulge in the belief of other existence. Within these voids rests parallels, souls, worlds unknown. Since we cannot see what these shadows conceal, there is no way to say what does or does not lie beyond them. Maybe that is not a fair way to argue it, but what in this world is fair? In this world, lest I can imagine, lest I can enjoy. But in that one - there I can go as I please. There, those multiverses, those lost longings, those creatures I wish to meet. I imagine a warm, overdue greeting when I arrive in those worlds. Maybe in one of them, you still love me. Maybe in another, beloved pets live forever. Another, entities roar and garner a respect lost in this one. And another, there’s two moons in the sky, and each star talks. Universes await, and in each one I am welcomed. Floating in a fleeting world, only to disappear when the sun rises again, or when you turn on a light.

and at the end of it all, we didn’t even get to dance

i took a shower this morning,

but i didn’t wash my hair.

it smelled like cigarettes.

it looks terrible,

but i wanted to keep that lingering bit of you.

old and also new

When you found me, I was on a shelf. Dusty, used, longed for, yet forgotten. Then I met you. You plucked me off of the shelf. You brushed the dust off me, patted me on the head, And said, You will be fine my love. You will be mine. You will be loved. You showed me love for a short time. Then, one day, you did what everyone else had done. You found a new doll.  You put me back on the shelf, and soon enough, there she was. Now I shall collect the dust once again. 

why do i know its coming? why is the end inching closer, closer? it's killing me, my love, its taking the air out of my chest and tearing it open. it reveals my heart to you. yet you do not care. you won't take it, you won't even look at it. it would be easier if you just spat on it. you have spat on it. and you don't even know. i know, though. i know where you lie.

the bouquet hangs like a cross on my wall,

a forged religion left to die.

i left a church once before,

i can’t bring myself to leave this one, even if the cross is all that is left behind.