Wally: ...

Wally: ...

Wally: I am going to make a team that is SO chaotic

I really think everyone needs to truly internalize this:

Fictional characters are objects.

They are not people. You cannot "objectify" them, because they have no personhood to be deprived of. They have no humanity to be erased. You cannot "disrespect" them, because they are not real.

Len: *Shuffles into the living room in his pjs, nursing a cup of coffee, and finds Axel hog tied upside down on the couch with a bunch of other teenagers standing around him.*

Len: *Turns around and walks away because he doesn’t get paid enough to deal with this.*

Len: *Sighs, and goes back into the living room.*

Len: Okay, which ones of you belong to me again?

Axel: *Tries to raise a hand, and mumbles something behind his gag.*

Conner: I belong to Mick, so I guess it counts.

Bart: You don’t formally adopt me until 2026. Uh. Spoilers?

Tim: I came with Owen.

Owen: Morning, Uncle Len!

Len:

Len:

Len:

Len: Right. Well, when you’re done playing, there’s cereal in the kitchen.

They’ve made a lesbian adaptation of “Grease” where the greasers are butches and the pink ladies are femmes.

The Green And The Red

Art by Dan Schkade

Given that DC will likely never give us an on- panel ToddDamon wedding, I have decided to indulge the brainworms. My semi- incoherent vision:

Church wedding at Todd’s insistence! Running gag that Alan keeps trying to throw money at them- including an ongoing insistence that he can and should be allowed to rent St. Peter’s Cathedral for the event

Todd very much takes Damon’s name

Damon’s Best Woman- Kate Spencer

Ring bearer- Ramses (takes place when he’s still a kid)

Flower girl- Julie Sawyer

Todd’s Best Woman- Jennie

Todd’s groomsman- Al

The wedding would be largely a fluff piece, but also a vehicle for a variety of subplots- a lot of past storylines could be revisited via stories (I.e., guests reminiscing about past adventures and shenanigans)- ranging wildly in tone

There would also be subplots in real-time:

Several members of Todd and Damon’s caped friends and family (led by Manhunter, Jade, and AtomSmasher AKA the adult wedding party), determined not to let the typical disasters ruin their wedding, run themselves ragged running interference. All said, the trio and associates end up diverting no less than 3 attempts at sabotage or super-villainy.

In turn, this contains a separate subplot of Kate and Ramses butting heads over his burgeoning instance in striking out in his own superhero career before he’s ready, attempting to “prove himself” to his “overprotective” mother

Over the course of the month leading up to the event- bachelor party, suit fitting- Jennie notices an unknown figure continue to pop up, seemingly watching her brother. After cornering this man, he reveals himself to be Jeremy Rice, trying to work up the courage to approach his estranged adoptive brother. This revelation- and the prospect of Jeremy returning to her twin’s life- triggers a mix of emotions in the Best Woman, even as she tries to push past it and facilitate the “surprise wedding gift” reunion

Along with the above shenanigans, Michael Mayne and Ruby Sokov crash Todd’s bachelor party- in tandem, Molly Mayne and Vladimir Sokov find they’ve coincidentally both had the idea to crash Damon’s- the former for a drunken shovel talk, the latter for reasons he refuses to confirm beyond “needing to talk to Alan”.