Id Eat That, Looks Juicy, Has Good Marbling, Marinated

Id eat that, looks juicy, has good marbling, marinated

the meat

The Meat

What is or isn’t a slur can be highly contextual, y'all.

“Jonny Sims bummed a fag off my ma” doesn’t contain a slur, but “What are you, some kind of fag?” does.

“Queer studies”, “the queer community” and “I’m queer”? Not a slur. Some bigot calling you a “dirty queer”? Slur.

“Be gay, do crimes” and “He’s gay” ≠ slur, but “Ew, that’s so gay” = slur.

In conclusion, stop buying into this fucking “q slur” bullshit. Queer people talking about the queer community aren’t using it as a slur any more than a gay man calling himself gay is using that term as a slur.

Giggles and twirls my hair

Merry halloween

Bay boys and how theyd eat out

Leo

-sensual and sweet strokes

-probably writes kanjis with his tongue to get an idea of what you like

-likes it best when you ride his face

Raph

-fast and rough

-loves a good feast, definitely a munch

-likes to watch you play with yourself first to get an idea of what you like

-likes it best when your pinned to a wall with your legs over his shoulders

Donnie

-swift and calculated

-loves indulging in your pleasure

-has done research on female anatomy and knows all the best spots

-likes seeing you on his desk legs spread for him

Mikey

-fun and interesting

-is a absolute fucking munch fr

-spells “austin powers” with his tongue

-any position any time, bro gives no fucks when it comes to pussy

That was me upon first reading this when I woke up

Do you ever become mutuals with someone you share an intense interest with and it becomes this limbo of "I want to be your friend SO fucking bad but I'll eat a shoe before dm-ing first"

Fym that part is great, i get to rub a soft piece of fabric over my body for almost no reason? AND if im feeling lazy i can just wrap myself in it until I decide “yeah i can get dressed now”

Not to mention the silly part where you dry your hair, you can either squeeze and ruffle tf out of it or you can wrap it up into a faux wig. Drying off is fun and no one can tell me otherwise

We don't talk enough about how the Post-Shower Drying Off segment sucks

. . . *slowly pulls out the coffin nails and graveyard dirt*

Bird

Raphael x Fem!reader

Warnings: Refrence to guns and animal death

(This is pure catharsis. It happened to me earlier today and I'm still feeling it. Thank you so much @truffle-draws-turtles for the emergency Raph hug. I really needed it.)

"Monsters!!!" You growl as the front door hits the wall so hard the knob leaves a dent. You toss your bag in the corner, ignoring the explosion of boots, heels, and sneakers that scatter from the mud mat.

You storm past everyone congregated in the living room for pre patrol coffee, and down the hall to your bedroom, clearly having been crying. Picture frames shake on the wall as you slam the door behind you.

Everyone exchanges worried glances, before Raph breaks off to head down the hall.

There is a gentle knock on the door.

"Come in," you say, sniffling, wiping your nose on your sleeve. He opens the door to you sitting on the edge of the bed wiping your eyes.

"Hey princess," he says softly, "you okay?"

You close your eyes and shake your head and cover your face with your hands as a sob escapes you.

He's by your side in seconds, pulling you into his lap and wrapping you up in his arms as you cry. When you're calm enough to speak again, he kisses you on the forehead and tilts your face to his. "What can I do?" He asks.

You shake your head, "Nothing. It's over."

"What is?" He asks, wiping a tear away with his thumb.

A few more tears fall, which he wipes away as well. "I cut through the park on my way home and there were some stupid kids firing off an airsoft rifle. At first they were just scaring the ducks, you know? Dick move but pretty harmless. But then they actually hit one."

Your voice thickens as new tears begin to fall, "I tried, I really tried," you insist, "I got them out of the lake and pulled them to shore but they got hit in the neck and gods it took like two minutes. I didn't know what to do, so I just held it until it..." You bury your face in his shoulder and sob.

He tightens his grip around you, resting his head against yours, "I'm so sorry, princess," he rumbles softly, "did you tell anyone?"

You shook your head.

"Why not?"

"Promise you won't be mad?"

His brow furrows at that one, and gives you a look you know very well.

"I may have... followed them."

He sighs heavily, "Y/N..."

"Look, it was three jackass kids with an airsoft rifle, it wasn't like I was in any actual danger. They were basically just off the tit." You insist.

He rolls his eyes, "Okay, fine, still a dumb move, but what happened?"

You hesitate.

"Y/N..."

"I gave him a black eye and broke his gun..." you say quickly, cringe-grinning, hoping he's not too mad, "and his hand," you add quickly

He's quiet for a moment, "...and the other two?"

"One... may have accidently got their shoulder dislocated?"

He nods, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Lemme guess," he says, "You left the third alone so-"

"-so he could drive their stupid moped to the hospital, yeah," you confirm.

He wraps his arms tighter around you , squeezing gently, "that's my girl."

...

A/N

Unfortunately I didn't beat them up, just yelled at them. They were all adults. Not even youngish adults. But I did hold the poor limpkin and contact authorities. Nothing is going to happen because they're white rednecks and I'm a visibly queer, openly pagan monsterfucker, so I'm not the one they're going to believe. They're also my neighbors, so this should be fun...

So if anyone could just send some karma-type vibes to those fuckers, it'd be appreciated.

...

Tag list

@thelaundrybitch @the-cauldron-witch @fyreball66 @ninnosaurus @tmntngl @thegirlwiththeninjaturtletattoos @zagreustomb @ramielll @silverwatergalaxy @gornackeaterofworlds @footninja @daedric-sorceress @sophiacloud28 @iridescentflamingo