Let Me Go Or Pull Me Closer

let me go or pull me closer

noah sebastian x reader

warning: cheating, breakup, angst, throwing things and yelling

word count: 1k

The loud ring of your alarm awoke you, rolling over to shut it off and suddenly felt the emptiness from Noah’s absence. The house was unusually quiet, so you knew they weren’t in the studio. As you sat up, you looked around the room and noticed that it looked exactly the same from last night. Did he not come home? Nothing too big was planned so it’s not like Bad Omens had rehearsals and they were relaxing from the studio since they achieved a lot yesterday. Maybe you were overthinking the whole thing. Maybe he went over to Ruffilo’s to do something. You decided to shake off the thoughts as you walked to the bathroom to start your daily routine.

Maybe you should’ve called out of work today. It was too hard to focus when all you could think about was where Noah was. It was near one in the afternoon but still nothing from him. You already sent a couple texts and called him twice on your lunch break but nothing. Even the rest weren’t answering back which was very strange because Jolly would always answer if you couldn’t get in touch with Noah immediately. The more the thought, the more you realized a couple things.

He was attached to his phone a lot more than normal. Even with the new album on the way, he stayed glued to his phone. Always keeping it on him, never putting it down and never leaving it alone around you. You understood that he was a busy man, had friends that were famous or not, whether they were male or female, but it was a little strange that he would quickly answer when it was a certain name that would pop up. He never let the notification stay on the screen long enough for you to see the name but it was easy to recognize. It’s not like you meant to micro manage him, it just happened.

Then it hit you.

It was near midnight when you finally heard their voices. Jolly, Jesse, Michael and Noah. Only bad thing was you could tell they were all drunk. You left your shared room, staring down at them from the second floor and could feel your heart breaking. Noah never drank after everything that happened in 2020, so to see him relapse so hard and not seeming to care about anything.

“Looks like you're in trouble.” Jesse fails to whisper to Noah while pointing towards you and all he did was scoff at the sight.

“No, he’s not. Noah is a grown man and can do whatever he wants.” Saying as you turned from them. “He can also fuck whoever he wants because it’s not like he has a girlfriend waiting for him. Seems like Olivia is more important.”

“Who the fuck is Olivia?” Michael slurred and the sound of someone struggling up the stairs didn’t surprise you.

“It’s not what you think, babe.” Noah says barging into the shared room, running into the wall next to the door and trying to grab you. You couldn’t but scoff at him as you continued to pack up the rest of your things, the feeling of heartbreak and rage running through your veins and trying to ignore the feeling of bursting out into tears.

“How did you even find out?”

“How long did you plan for this to go on before I found out?” Snapping back at him. “If you must know, I decided to go through your macbook while you were out doing whatever the fuck you were doing and never texted me back.”

“Why did you go through my things?” He asked anger, lacing his tone and the anger made you chuckle.

“Are you pissed off because I went through your things or are you mad that I found out?” Asking him while holding up your hands like you’re weighing out the pros and cons. “You’re mad about those things but not even trying to lie about fucking someone else?”

“No, because there’s no reason to lie. I understand why you’re mad. I didn’t even me-” “Don’t you dare finish that sentence, Noah. You meant to. If you truly loved or even fuckin cared for me, you wouldn’t have even ever had the slightest thought of ever cheating on me. I’ve spent the last five years doing everything I ever could for you. Helping you, supporting you, moving across the country with you, and doing so much more for what? To get spit in the face by you.”

“I’m sorry. I thought it wouldn’t-""How long Noah?” You cut him off again, he stays silent.

“How long? How long? How long?” Asking him continually and he finally broke down while covering his face with his hands. “Noah Sebastian you better fuckin tell me how long.”

“About a year.” Time felt like it stopped. “I never meant for it to happen. A mutual friend introduced us and I didn’t originally even have the thoughts in my head then the night after the Concrete Jungle tour ended and we had that get together. She kissed me.”

“And instead of telling me, you just decided to make me look stupid and continue it? I was with you that night! Not to mention, I was with you the whole tour because you asked me to come with you!” Anger finally took over you. You tore off the necklace he bought you while on that tour and threw it at him. Grabbing the pictures of you two off the bedside table and throwing them at him as well. Glass shattering as they hit the wall and Noah moving away to not step on it.

“Can we just talk about this?” He asked as he moved over to the bed to sit down and you had to stand in silence for a moment to collect your thoughts.

“Are you proud of yourself? Do you feel good about your decisions? You wanna sit and talk about this when we had that first night to talk about it. There’s nothing to talk about now. I’m done, Noah. I’m officially done.” Informing him as you grabbed your suitcases and headed towards the door.

“Please don’t leave.” He softly begs.

“You don’t need me, you have her.” You tell him as you leave.

AN - i didn't expect to post again so soon but this was idea was driving me crazy and it was so hard to make Noah a cheater.

tbh, i'm not too proud of this but hey, i tried and that's all i could do.

title comes from I Wait by Day6