Dan Who, For Some Reason, Ended Up In The DC Universe After Having His Timeline Erased And Bolting So

Dan who, for some reason, ended up in the DC universe after having his timeline erased and bolting so he could then return to fuck shit up for his past (is it even his past self anymore, after having his timeline erased? Is he still Danny?) self: I'm going to destroy everything.

Martha and Jonathan Kent: Simply exists and shows him kindness.

Dan:

Dan a moment later: You know what? I can hold off on that for a while.

***

Martha and Jonathan Kent: We really want a child.

Clockwork, who really shouldn't be looking at this timeline and sticking to his own and stop being such a nosy bitch: I can help with that!

Martha and Jonathan Kent looking at this gigantic, walking tank of a man who looks like he needs help: Is kind to him

Martha and Jonathan Kent literally a week later: So we accidentally adopted an adult but I don't think he knows that yet.

***

Dan a good few years later, hasn't aged a day but nobody really talks about it, currently sipping some milk minding his own business:

A crash echoed as the Kent's go and check it out. Dan is debating if he should sit still or bolt out of the door too.

Martha and Jonathan: So, how do you feel about a new sibling?

Dan: I don't have any siblings.

The Kents, holding up a baby Clark: Well you do now!

Later Dan cries after finally realizing that he's been adopted despite living with these people for years.

The real reason everyone makes fun of Dicks Discowing outfit is because he's the only one that can somehow pull it off

Every superhero and vigilante has has a costume like that at some point, something daring or a bit ridiculous that in hindsight that they just couldn't make work for whatever reason. Nightwing? The pretty motherfucker not only made it work, he slayed in that outfit. It looks ridiculous by itself on display in the batcave but not when Nightwing puts it on

The only reason Dick doesn't know this is because all his siblings have collectively gaslit him into thinking that it's his worst costume to date.

“Bruce wouldn’t call his kids any cutesy nicknames y’all are cringe” first of all Bruce canonically refers to children as “honey” and “sweetheart” as BATMAN, so, close your mouth, monster breath

Second of all, Thomas Wayne called him everything from “Bunny, honey, sweetheart, baby, bambino, sweetie” to “Gumdrop, honeybee, amore, babe, “ and you can die trying to take it away from me

make a girl smile today.

give her a sword.

In situations and headcanons and such where Bruce doesn't tell the justice league his identity, I feel like one of the most often cited reasons is that they'd then immediately connect all of his many waves of increasingly smaller vigilantes back to him.

But I'd like to think it doesn't happen like that.

Like, at some point, Nightwing has been on the team for years, and somehow, no one that didn't already know him as Robin has connected him back to Batman, but of course both Bruce and Dick think they know, because they have to, right?

But then Bruce's identity gets revealed while Dick's off world or something, but he gets filled in, so he assumes that his identity is blown too, right? Of course, once you know Batman is Bruce Wayne, it'd be easy to put together that Dick Grayson is Nightwing.

So then Bruce and Dick have to rush to the watchtower from some sort of Wayne family event one day, but there's no real need to put on their costumes yet, because the league already knows their identities.

Until...

Green Lantern, watching a young man that he's only ever seen through gossip magazines fiddle around in the watchtower: Hey, Bru-Batman, I know we found out your identity and all, but do you really think it's a good idea to bring your children into this? I mean, what if he gets hurt?

Dick, incredulous: You... you do know who I am, right?

GL: It's hard to not know who you are. I saw you on a magazine cover just the other day.

-long pause-

Dick: Bruce, when you used to complain that you work with idiots, I thought you were exaggerating.

-general sounds of outrage from the JL-