I Should've Planned This Better

i should've planned this better

i should've planned this better

i should've planned this better

omg sana what 😭💕 literally just finished a new, tiring and hard role at work to see this 🫂 heart melted and completely healed ❤️‍🩹

love you so much honey bee ☘️🐝💚

Here I present you all my mutuals/moots whom I adore a lot no matter what 🥺

Lacey 💗 @haet-sal : Masterlist

How do I start? She was truly the first mutual I made here and also the one who I got really close with. I adore her a lot no matter what and she is just the sweetest. She is also like one of the strongest people I have known and seen. She is always just so genuine with me. My bubba 💗. I miss you all the damn time 😽.

Nara 🐒 @o-onikix : Masterlist

She is sweet yes but a kid sometimes 🧍‍♀️. But most of the time she is like a mother istg. She can go feral anytime (it’s me most of the time but let’s not talk about that) still I adore and love her a lot. But give her stories a look y’all! They won’t disappoint you at all!

Ally 🌥️ @winterchimez : Masterlist

What can I say about her? Okay to start of she is like one of the sweetest person. I love how she is always so easy to approach no matter what. Even tho I trouble her a little (lot) by sending Sangyeon stuff (it is purely out of love) I still adore and admire her a lot.

Dora 🌻 @littleroaes : Masterlist

What can I say? She is just so adorable 😭. Tbh I am glad I approached you in your DMs that day 🤧 if not I would not have known just how great you’re. I mean I have always looked up to your stories and now I look up to her as a person too because of how genuine, kind and sweet she is.

Clo 🌸 @cloverdaisies : Masterlist

I have known clo as a writer since forever. I am still in love with her chanhee fic (1984, available on her Wattpad account) and when I got to know she is moots with ally I totally started fangirling over clo (I still do) and I will never stop talking about how sweet and funny she is.

Moni 🦋 @zzoguri : Masterlist

Okay first off all, she is like the sweetest person ever?? She tops of EVERYONE when it comes to that. Second of all her stories are to die for because of how great they’re. I am still not over her Changmin fic 👯‍♂️. Giving her compliments is not enough 🤧.

Marty 🐸 @stealanity : Masterlist

My mom, my world, my everything 💗. She is truly just so caring and precious and if that’s not everything her stories make me fall in love with her more. (Only I can call her Marty btw) and even tho she calls me a menace (I am not) I still love her a lot because I can never not love her. She just..take my heart 🥹🤏.

Beam 🐣 @sungbeam : Masterlist

Okay I will reveal something very embarrassing, I was truly VERY intimidated by beam first. Idk why but when I interacted with her more I just saw how sweet and funny she is 🫠. And when you feel like you know her truly she will just do something more unhinged 🧍‍♀️💃.

Fawn 🌺 @juyeonszn : Masterlist

If you follow her blog you must have always seen me dying over her stories (I am still seated for What is love btw) because to be honest they are just so great. Words cannot describe that. She is truly also very sweet 🤧.

Dal 🥀 @hongyangi : Masterlist

I will fangirl about her stories first, okay (deep breaths) HOW DO I START OFF?? THEY ALL ARE JUST MWAH. I will always look forward to her stories no matter what because of how great they are. If you see me kicking my feet and screaming just think that it’s because of Dal hehe and then, she is also such a great friend. She is just so sweet, crazy, kind you name it.

Cheegu 😽 @cheegu3 : Masterlist

I recently discovered her because of her Sunwoo fic and I am telling you, I fell in love with her writing so much not to say she is also so sweet, kind and understanding. Whenever she posts something I take a deep breath in because I know that I would be devouring whatever it was and she is also a yandere writer like me so 💃.

Bar 🦄 @sohnric : Masterlist

Lemme tell you, I love you a lot and I am not lying about it at all. But I will be honest, her works are to like DIE for. Especially since I have been getting in my Eric era (let’s not tell Chanhee) I have been reading everything about him alot lately. And as a person to bar is really sweet and her vibes are just very sweet hehe.

Shay 🌾 @enhazen : Masterlist

I have known shay for a very long time. We were in the same group chat and I will tell you, I have seen her growth in writing and it’s just been so great to be moots with someone like her. Shay is also like THE sweetest person out there.

Maya 🪷 @kimsohn : Masterlist

Maya is like the definition of “A friend in need is a friend indeed” 🤓. I actually read her Sunwoo Drabble recently and it was just so cute 🫠😭. I was melting lol. And she is also very sweet from what I know. I would love to get close with her 💞.

Daisy 🌼 @daisyvisions : Masterlist

I like knew Daisy even before she joined the network and she is like so sweet hehe. Her works are to die for (obviously) because the way her works would always make me want a partner 🥹🫠.

Mona ✨ @invuwrld : Masterlist

Mona is like..so sweet 🤧. She is someone whom I would adore and admire a lot even from afar. And me and Mona are always there to bully (love) ally hehe. Even her works are adorable 🫠😭.

Ipah 🍓 @i520cm : Masterlist

Ipah is like strawberries to me. I love strawberries a lot. The moment she comes in the discord expect chaos there lol. She is like the mood maker in our group, truly. Tbh she is just very adorable and cute (P.S I truly love her cats..) even her stories are amazing, just like her.

Moon 🌑 @beautifulchris : Masterlist

Moon’s story are to die for. I remember coming across her Beomgyu blurb once and I just fell in love with her writing 🫠. Even tho we’re not that close yet I would love to get to know her more!

Liz 🍙 @minho-hoho : Masterlist

I remember Liz being the first moot I made here. Even tho her account is closed now you guys can always take a look at her blog! She was truly one of the best writers out there and she was also very sweet 💞.

Izzy ☀️ @from-izzy : Masterlist

My pookie 😚, the sweetest actually hehe. The way I can always like totally rely on her just makes me melt 🤧. Not only that even her stories are so sweet. The way she manages to capture the attention and emotions of the readers 💗. Even tho atm I have only read her Sunwoo timestamp I just melted on the spot because of how comforting it was. Plz do show some support to my pookie <3

as always, counting on @littleroaes for games! 🤭 thank you dora! 💌💜 look at dora's answers here!

rule: the first ten songs from my on repeat playlist

bad habits 💥 - cravity like we just met 🫂 - nct dream steal the show 🫶 - lauv baggy jeans 👖 - nct u veni vidi vici 💪 - cravity graduation 🎓 - nct dream memories ⭐ - riize pado 🌊 - nct u childhood ❤️‍🩹 - the rose party rock 🎉 - cravity

tagging (no pressure loves): @winterchimez @cloverdaisies (...🥺) @heemingyu @zzoguri @justalildumpling @sungbeam @kimsohn

i don't think 'obsessed' is the right word anymore...

i have literally been breathing this song for four days non-stop now.

thanks @heemingyu ☘️🐝

I just let you win 🦧

EXCUSE ME MISS SANA ☘️🐝😤 I GOT THAT WIN FAIR AND SQUARE!

inserting pictures of serim like that in the middle of nowhere?! that was so unfair!!

and yk how much i'm tossing between minhee, allen or seongmin as my bias!! adding serim to the list was so mean!!

yk how cravity is currently climbing my group list rn! that was really really REALLY unfair!!

then you attacked me with complex sentences? like girl, i just woke up and i had to read it over and over and over again (just so that i don't accidentally back up your argument)

also i'm saying this again: The only thing that will ever matter is if I SAY IT MATTERS. If Sana ☘️🐝 says it does matter then it's not valid (but YOU still matter to me very much 🥺 i love you very much honey bee ☘️🐝).

SO YES! I WON THAT FAIR AND SQUARE 😤

(that cat in the first pic will haunt me tonight fr fs)

still virtual hugs for you sana 🫂☘️🐝 cause you made my morning (afternoon) fun

you do know that ff is supposed to be around love right cause whatever it is that your doing with your healing project thingy def isnt that

read your intro and it says its personal things but like ok then keep it to yourself i guess

just go back to the the love topic stories and tbh its not getting a lot of notes and attention anyways so why bother lol

finally found the strength to reply to this! 🫂

hi anon 👋 first of all, i wasn't sure what kind of tone i should respond this with. but, i would like to thank you for sending this in. you gave me the push to finally post my 'especially to you...' series that has been on my masterlist for so long.

next, you're not wrong. compared to my other stories, this series is not getting as many notes. i am not scared to admit that it did discourage me a little bit but it all changed when i re-read my stories (yes, i'm one of those authors who re-reads their works many times, over and over again).

yes, ofc i could keep all the burden and weight of my personal life to myself. we have a choice to do that or share it with the people around us. for me, i chose the latter. why?

because i believe that feeling like you're alone, especially when you're too scared to speak up, is one of the darkest, loneliest, hardest and most excruciating moments that a person can ever have. i hope that my stories could accompany those who may feel alone and bring some sort of comfort.

i choose to be open. i choose to speak up first after the other person is ready to listen to me (for my stories, this comes in the form of warnings). i choose to tell the experiences that i've gone through. after that, it's up to the other person if they want to spread it around, keep it to themselves and/or maybe even judge me.

it was my choice to open up. the ball is in your court after and the information that i've told them will be up to them and their conscience.

i'm open with talking about life experiences and most especially, mental health. as a person who has multiple diagnosis and waiting to be assessed for more as well as waiting for re-asssessments, to a certain extent, through my stories, i want to tell it out to the world.

comfort, sadness, pain, discovery—those are the words that i would describe my journey so far.

so yes, while it isn't getting as much attention, the way i smile, cry and feel my chest lighten after reading my published stories, makes me keep going.

also, in terms of your definition for fanfiction, i guess our definition of the word differs greatly and i can respect that. but for me, my stories will not only be about romance.

because that's not the kind of author that i want to be. also, i will not be influenced by others to be the author that they want me to be.

i write for others to read but most of all, i write for myself.

i refuse to publish stories that i'm unsatisfied with even if people tell me that they love it. i refuse to publish stories that i will not re-read. i refuse to have no personal connection to the stories i publish.

so that's my answer! sorry that it's long 😅 and sorry that i kept you waiting as well 😭 i hope this answers your thoughts and asks!