Why Thank You! Always Glad To Be Of Assistance

why thank you! always glad to be of assistance 💦

You

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Summary: He loves himself, but he loves you more.

Genre: yearning, angst, slow burn

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: This story was originally inspired by a vcut (which I can't link because tumblr otherwise won't tag this post). My first draft was meant to be spunky and flirty, but as I played around with the idea and cried my eyes out to Blue & Grey, I realized I really wanted to write about yearning.

°°°°°°°

“Go out with me.”

“Absolutely not.”

It was a futile question, Kim Taehyung knew it was a futile question, but he was nothing if not persistent. A slow, intentional pucker appeared on his lips. He wasn’t truly upset, he never was. The push-and-pull had become a ritual - almost like a dance - exhilarating, tiring, never-ending.

If he was being honest with himself, he was a twinge upset, but he quickly allotted this feeling to his bruised ego. He simply wasn’t used to being rejected, people rarely said no to him. Maybe he should have been used to it by now, you rejected him constantly.

A small sigh reached Taehyung’s ears. He spotted your assistant ogling at him with lovelorn eyes. This was the reaction he had hoped to elicit, not the irritated cough you made from behind your camera. Then again, this was why he liked you. You were not one to ogle.

„Focus,“ you chided, a frosty stare directed at him, but your voice loud enough that he knew your words were meant for all. ”Let’s try and wrap this up early tonight. Look to the top left for me.“

Taehyung immediately wiped away his pout and got his head back in the game. There was no denying that he liked his fair share of fun and games, but work was something he took very seriously. His climb up the ladder had been staggeringly fast and dizzyingly high, but he never forgot the blood, sweat and tears shed to get and stay there. The view up top was dazzling and radiant, but the fall steep and the ledge always precariously close.

Over the years he became one of the highest paid faces in the industry. Initially known as a chameleon, always able to melt into the client’s and photographer’s vision, he was considered a secret weapon. Almost like a paintbrush, a powerful tool capable of creating great beauty if wielded right. As time went by Taehyung noticed that he didn’t need to be wielded anymore, he grew into a unique, magnificent color and everyone wanted to paint their canvas with him to get that special Taehyung touch.

With your sharp eyes hidden safely behind the camera, Taeyhung decided that a little professional mischief didn’t hurt - he liked to consider it creative freedom. Skipping the suave stare-into-the-sky look you asked for, he leaned back against the wall and put on a seductive, half-lidded smirk. As expected, you briefly looked up from you viewfinder and gave him a silent look. He could almost see the small red flames spring to life in your eyes.

Say something, Taehyung thought.

A lick of warmth and apprehension coursed through his body as you scrutinized him top to bottom, but not a second later it was chased away by ice cold disappointment. The fiery red dissipated and made way again for the unreadable blank gaze you reserved solely for him. Your eyes found what you were looking for and returned their attention back to the viewfinder.

Click, click. Click, click.

There once were days where silence was rare. He loved your words. He loved the sound of your words, the meaning of your words, he loved seeing his life through your words. Some were gentle and kind, others were harsh and ugly, but he always knew that every word that left your lips was the truth. He used to ask himself why someone who loved rawness and realness so much ventured into a world so fake and superficial. You simply smiled and said that you liked the challenge. You enjoyed unraveling people’s true colors.

In those moments he remembered that while he may be of unusual color, you were the true artist. With your bold, courageous strokes you painted the world vivid, you painted his world vivid.

Your work, your eyes, your words mesmerized him, but then again, everything that was bright and vivacious mesmerized Kim Taehyung.

However, you also terrified him. Nothing escaped your scrutinizing look. Where you saw color, you also saw light and shadow. In your eyes there was nowhere to hide, in your eyes there was truth, in your eyes people were laid bare.

Taehyung hated being stripped bare. He was an oxymoron, who loved being seen by you, because you saw differently, but also feared what you would find when you saw too much. He knew you could easily peek beyond the polished veneer he carefully crafted, but he also knew that once you were in there was no stopping. His twinkling eyes and pearly laugh redirected anyone’s attention but for yours.

Sometimes he allowed himself to reminisce on where you and him went wrong.

It was the one and only quarrel he ever had with you, the day after the kiss.

Looking back, Taehyung realized the kiss was inevitable. Two young people - friends - fresh in their careers, giddy and high on their new-found success, alone in that beautiful city. After a week of job after job after job, it was the last free day, the only free day, to enjoy your time in a place so magical. The kiss was almost like the natural conclusion to a perfect day.

Maybe what happened afterwards was also inevitable. Taehyung has always loved things that made his life bright, back then he was just too dumb and naive to realize that you lit him up the brightest. Blinded by the glistening facade and meaningless expectations, he wanted to shine even brighter, so bright it landed him the front page of the tabloids the next day with a person he cared for not.

The quarrel was ironically short for the rift it caused. You told him that life wasn’t a show and feelings were not a seasonal trend to follow. He told you that this was the truth of the industry and he didn’t need the opinions of a hypocrite.

Taehyung didn’t think much of the fight, your words cut, but the pain was shallow. Just because you always spoke your truth, didn’t mean it was the truth. He only realized later that his words left much deeper wounds.

After that day the words he cherished stopped and the truths he once could easily read from your eyes vanished. Only after your words stopped coming, did your last words begin to burn and sink deeper into his skin.

Taehyung’s world shined brighter and brighter, people around him slathered themselves in the colors they thought he wished to see, but you instead turned into a blank, unreadable canvas. Still speaking truths, but never more than necessary. You laughed, you joked, you looked him in the eyes, but your eyes were always kept void.

Sometimes when the day was long or when you were particularly annoyed at him, a crack would appear in your hard wall and an exhausted flicker of grey or a lick of fiery red would return to your gaze. He savored those little moments and desperately searched for more.

“You’re still working on your photo book,” Taehyung said after switching to the third pose.

The clicking stopped and you slowly lowered the camera to reveal your carefully neutral face. “Yes and you rejected every one of my offers to be a part of it.”

He snorted at the slight defensiveness in your tone, you couldn’t stand him, but you loved working with him. “You know you could get anyone you wanted to be part of your book, you don’t need me in it.” He omitted that the only reason he declined was because he was scared that you’d be disappointed with what you’d find. This wasn’t some random project for a glossy magazine, this was raw, this was real, this was you.

“I like your face, you have complex expressions,” you said as a matter of fact, “Can you put your hand in your pocket?”

Complex expressions for complex emotions. There were so many things he felt and couldn’t discern, but one thing he could discern was that he hated how your colors vanished from his sight. He hated that worse than showing him dark blue sadness, burning orange anger or jet black hatred you showed him nothing.

He hated that you, who once illuminated his world, decided to diminish…

No, he suddenly realized, I was the one who suffocated your flame.

Your words from long ago sank deeper and deeper and finally reached his heart.

All this time he mourned the colors you withheld, and wondered if this was your way of punishing his foolishness. But now he understood the culprit was he. There was no one to blame but himself. He insatiably devoured what you so ardently gave and never once questioned the price behind such an earnest heart. His words stabbed your vibrant soul and bled it dry.

True colors. It was honesty that you craved. The splendid, the grotesque, the delicate, the crude, the perfect, the broken. Hiding from you was useless, his fears were groundless. What he feared long became reality. All his hideousness, concealed beneath his glittering mask, he had exposed on his own long ago. What more was there left to discover if he lifted it off his face?

His sincerity? His hopes? His dreams?

He always took your sincerity, your hopes, your dreams to color his own life. Maybe, this time, he was brave enough share his and color yours instead. Could he do it?

“I can do it,” he said clearly, with conviction.

Again, you lowered the camera and gave him a quizzical look. “What? Put your hand in your pocket? I hope so.”

“I can do your project,” he said, “I will do your project.” He hoped you could hear the certainty in his voice, see the earnestness in his face.

Your eyes pierced him and searched for answers. “Don’t expect me to say yes to you, just because you said yes to me.”

“No expectations,” he said softly, “just as friends.”

Taehyung fought hard to hold you gaze. He felt bare, he felt exposed, he felt seen.

“Fine,” you finally said, “as friends.“

°°°°°°° 26/03/21

Copyright © 2021 full-of-jams. All Rights Reserved. Do not copy, repost or translate without permission.

yes, i'm listening...

You

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Summary: He loves himself, but he loves you more.

Genre: yearning, angst, slow burn

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: This story was originally inspired by this. My first draft was meant to be spunky and flirty, but as I played around with the idea and cried my eyes out to Blue & Grey, I realized I really wanted to write about yearning.

°°°°°°°

“Go out with me.”

“Absolutely not.”

It was a futile question, Kim Taehyung knew it was a futile question, but he was nothing if not persistent. A slow, intentional pucker appeared on his lips. He wasn’t truly upset, he never was. The push-and-pull had become a ritual - almost like a dance - exhilarating, tiring, never-ending.

If he was being honest with himself, he was a twinge upset, but he quickly allotted this feeling to his bruised ego. He simply wasn’t used to being rejected, people rarely said no to him. Maybe he should have been used to it by now, you rejected him constantly.

A small sigh reached Taehyung’s ears. He spotted your assistant ogling at him with lovelorn eyes. This was the reaction he had hoped to elicit, not the irritated cough you made from behind your camera. Then again, this was why he liked you. You were not one to ogle.

„Focus,“ you chided, a frosty stare directed at him, but your voice loud enough that he knew your words were meant for all. ”Let’s try and wrap this up early tonight. Look to the top left for me.“

Taehyung immediately wiped away his pout and got his head back in the game. There was no denying that he liked his fair share of fun and games, but work was something he took very seriously. His climb up the ladder had been staggeringly fast and dizzyingly high, but he never forgot the blood, sweat and tears shed to get and stay there. The view up top was dazzling and radiant, but the fall steep and the ledge always precariously close.

Over the years he became one of the highest paid faces in the industry. Initially known as a chameleon, always able to melt into the client’s and photographer’s vision, he was considered a secret weapon. Almost like a paintbrush, a powerful tool capable of creating great beauty if wielded right. As time went by Taehyung noticed that he didn’t need to be wielded anymore, he grew into a unique, magnificent color and everyone wanted to paint their canvas with him to get that special Taehyung touch.

With your sharp eyes hidden safely behind the camera, Taeyhung decided that a little professional mischief didn’t hurt - he liked to consider it creative freedom. Skipping the suave stare-into-the-sky look you asked for, he leaned back against the wall and put on a seductive, half-lidded smirk. As expected, you briefly looked up from you viewfinder and gave him a silent look. He could almost see the small red flames spring to life in your eyes.

Say something, Taehyung thought.

A lick of warmth and apprehension coursed through his body as you scrutinized him top to bottom, but not a second later it was chased away by ice cold disappointment. The fiery red dissipated and made way again for the unreadable blank gaze you reserved solely for him. Your eyes found what you were looking for and returned their attention back to the viewfinder.

Click, click. Click, click.

There once were days where silence was rare. He loved your words. He loved the sound of your words, the meaning of your words, he loved seeing his life through your words. Some were gentle and kind, others were harsh and ugly, but he always knew that every word that left your lips was the truth. He used to ask himself why someone who loved rawness and realness so much ventured into a world so fake and superficial. You simply smiled and said that you liked the challenge. You enjoyed unraveling people’s true colors.

In those moments he remembered that while he may be of unusual color, you were the true artist. With your bold, courageous strokes you painted the world vivid, you painted his world vivid.

Your work, your eyes, your words mesmerized him, but then again, everything that was bright and vivacious mesmerized Kim Taehyung.

However, you also terrified him. Nothing escaped your scrutinizing look. Where you saw color, you also saw light and shadow. In your eyes there was nowhere to hide, in your eyes there was truth, in your eyes people were laid bare.

Taehyung hated being stripped bare. He was an oxymoron, who loved being seen by you, because you saw differently, but also feared what you would find when you saw too much. He knew you could easily peek beyond the polished veneer he carefully crafted, but he also knew that once you were in there was no stopping. His twinkling eyes and pearly laugh redirected anyone’s attention but for yours.

Sometimes he allowed himself to reminisce on where you and him went wrong.

It was the one and only quarrel he ever had with you, the day after the kiss.

Looking back, Taehyung realized the kiss was inevitable. Two young people - friends - fresh in their careers, giddy and high on their new-found success, alone in that beautiful city. After a week of job after job after job, it was the last free day, the only free day, to enjoy your time in a place so magical. The kiss was almost like the natural conclusion to a perfect day.

Maybe what happened afterwards was also inevitable. Taehyung has always loved things that made his life bright, back then he was just too dumb and naive to realize that you lit him up the brightest. Blinded by the glistening facade and meaningless expectations, he wanted to shine even brighter, so bright it landed him the front page of the tabloids the next day with a person he cared for not.

The quarrel was ironically short for the rift it caused. You told him that life wasn’t a show and feelings were not a seasonal trend to follow. He told you that this was the truth of the industry and he didn’t need the opinions of a hypocrite.

Taehyung didn’t think much of the fight, your words cut, but the pain was shallow. Just because you always spoke your truth, didn’t mean it was the truth. He only realized later that his words left much deeper wounds.

After that day the words he cherished stopped and the truths he once could easily read from your eyes vanished. Only after your words stopped coming, did your last words begin to burn and sink deeper into his skin.

Taehyung’s world shined brighter and brighter, people around him slathered themselves in the colors they thought he wished to see, but you instead turned into a blank, unreadable canvas. Still speaking truths, but never more than necessary. You laughed, you joked, you looked him in the eyes, but your eyes were always kept void.

Sometimes when the day was long or when you were particularly annoyed at him, a crack would appear in your hard wall and an exhausted flicker of grey or a lick of fiery red would return to your gaze. He savored those little moments and desperately searched for more.

“You’re still working on your photo book,” Taehyung said after switching to the third pose.

The clicking stopped and you slowly lowered the camera to reveal your carefully neutral face. “Yes and you rejected every one of my offers to be a part of it.”

He snorted at the slight defensiveness in your tone, you couldn’t stand him, but you loved working with him. “You know you could get anyone you wanted to be part of your book, you don’t need me in it.” He omitted that the only reason he declined was because he was scared that you’d be disappointed with what you’d find. This wasn’t some random project for a glossy magazine, this was raw, this was real, this was you.

“I like your face, you have complex expressions,” you said as a matter of fact, “Can you put your hand in your pocket?”

Complex expressions for complex emotions. There were so many things he felt and couldn’t discern, but one thing he could discern was that he hated how your colors vanished from his sight. He hated that worse than showing him dark blue sadness, burning orange anger or jet black hatred you showed him nothing.

He hated that you, who once illuminated his world, decided to diminish…

No, he suddenly realized, I was the one who suffocated your flame.

Your words from long ago sank deeper and deeper and finally reached his heart.

All this time he mourned the colors you withheld, and wondered if this was your way of punishing his foolishness. But now he understood the culprit was he. There was no one to blame but himself. He insatiably devoured what you so ardently gave and never once questioned the price behind such an earnest heart. His words stabbed your vibrant soul and bled it dry.

True colors. It was honesty that you craved. The splendid, the grotesque, the delicate, the crude, the perfect, the broken. Hiding from you was useless, his fears were groundless. What he feared long became reality. All his hideousness, concealed beneath his glittering mask, he had exposed on his own long ago. What more was there left to discover if he lifted it off his face?

His sincerity? His hopes? His dreams?

He always took your sincerity, your hopes, your dreams to color his own life. Maybe, this time, he was brave enough share his and color yours instead. Could he do it?

“I can do it,” he said clearly, with conviction.

Again, you lowered the camera and gave him a quizzical look. “What? Put your hand in your pocket? I hope so.”

“I can do your project,” he said, “I will do your project.” He hoped you could hear the certainty in his voice, see the earnestness in his face.

Your eyes pierced him and searched for answers. “Don’t expect me to say yes to you, just because you said yes to me.”

“No expectations,” he said softly, “just as friends.”

Taehyung fought hard to hold you gaze. He felt bare, he felt exposed, he felt seen.

“Fine,” you finally said, “as friends.“

°°°°°°° 26/03/21

Copyright © 2021 full-of-jams. All Rights Reserved. Do not copy, repost or translate without permission.

Aww, thanks for reviewing my story in such a wonderful way!

Just a small bts (hehe, get it? ok I’ll stop) - the whole fic originated from my desire to write a story where 2 strangers have an unintended ‘pen pal’ meet-cute. And I was writing so much angst during that time that I just wanted to write the mushiest story my brain could come up with. 

Tangsuyuk Love

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Summary: College student Jungkook passes cute notes with a customer who always orders take-out tangsuyuk at his part-time job. Meanwhile he’s trying not to miserably fail his Math class, while hiding his ever-growing crush on you.

Genre: college au, f2l, fluff, smut, one shot, did I mention FLUFF?

Warnings: mild swearing, sexual content, hold your heart palpitations!

Word Count: 11.5k

A/N: I wanted to write something light and sweet before I continued with Good Riddance. It will be easy, she said. It will be fun, she said. It will be quick, she said. Ha. haha. ha. ha. Ignore my pain. Enjoy!

°°°°°°°

Keep reading

Don’t vote on seven!

„I’m voting Maknae.“

„No guys! We are on seven. We don’t vote on seven!” Jungkook yelled into his screen.

“You’re so cute when you’re defensive, babe,” you giggled, “fine you have 20 seconds left to convince us of your innocence.”

“LilMeow is just trying to big brain y’all right now! I was on the bottom,” your boyfriend scrambled to explain.

“Yeah last night you were, but certainly not last round,” you snorted into the mic.

A series of groans echoed throughout the chat. 

“Kids, keep it PG. I’m streaming right now,” Taehyung grumbled. 

One after another, red signs popped up on screen.

“I’m a 1000% sure it’s Maknae.”

“I skipped.”

“We’re on seven, let’s play it safe.”

“It’s Maknae.”

“I’m also sticking to Maknae.”

“Sorry Maknae, you gotta go.”

“Aww, c’mon Princess! Don’t do me dirty like that!” Jungkook groaned.

The last thing Jungkook heard was a loud, smacking kiss sound before he was ejected out of the game. 

“No chance, sorry babe. Save your sexy talk for your girlfriend tonight,” Jin cackled.

°°°°°°°

30/10/20

Copyright © 2020 full-of-jams. All Rights Reserved. Do not copy, repost or translate without permission.

Happy Year of the Ox! 🐮

➞like/reblog ☑, do not repost!⬅

the biggest mood of the year [cr. feverm00n]