I'm Sorry But This Is Just So Fucking Funny

I'm sorry but this is just so fucking funny

They have consumed my brain almost entirely at this point

okay so steph is definitely a music purist?

we can all agree on that right? like she's a 'said she was born in the wrong generation in middle school' fleetwood mac, david bowie, the mamas & the papas, niche modern indie artists and also chappell roan kind of music listener. obviously. but.... i dont think we've really considered pete's music taste?

pete, who is a science, left-brained kind of kid, so he probably does not actively go out to look for music and is instead just provided music by the people around him?

pete whose older brother is theodore spankoffski and so his earliest and most fond and nostalgic music influences from his childhood would have come directly from ted's cd collection???

basically what im saying is peter spankoffski has the most trashy, early 00's ke$ha, black eyed peas my humps era, all american rejects ass music taste in the world

that boy had bowling for soup's 1985 memorized at age four, his guilty pleasure music is hollywood undead's everywhere i go, ted did his first decent person move in years when pete came out as trans as a kid and stopped listening to grow a pear by ke$ha and pete forcibly made him play it because it's a bop

and then his only friends are a weeb and a theatre kid.

steph gives him the aux cord on a date to be nice, as a sign of trust, and is blasted in the face with the most uncurated mess of j-pop, sondheim, weezer, and like... owl city's fireflies and that's just a fact

the key to enjoying the magnus archives is understanding that every single person is a bitch. name a character and i can tell you right now they have the most petty bitchy tendencies. you have to understand that all of these characters are absolutely insufferable bitches and there's nothing any of us can do except say slay king live your truth. they served cunt and if innocents died along the way that's none of my business thank you

Melanie and Jon:

by the way I think we should just decide that every single story that's in a setting that's Weird™, you know, that's unsettling™ - they all exist in the same universe. Yes, all of them, on an Earth that is massive and warped from the strain of having so many realities together, all of them.

There's a weird island off of Michigan where some deities are playing bad monopoly and there's a desert that sometimes appears where terrible scenarios lead into restaurant ads and there's a run-down dinky museum of fake spectacles surrounded by real ones and there's a gas station that smells terrible with a cowboy ghost in the bathroom and there's a world in a dream about a flame in an oil lamp and there's a facility that holds all the creatures that it can and there's a universe behind the walls that holds all the creatures that the facility can't and there's a frat house of weird retired serial killer creatures and there's everything that's going on with Magnus Archives and there's my dumb little fictional town there too and as many analogue horror shows as you can dream of and and and and

an uncountable amount of people die horrifically every day and no one bats an eye, and love prevails occasionally, and all the gods and demons and deities and eldritch beasts bicker and scream over dibs and territories. And slowly they all bleed in together until no one can tell what's happening at all anymore. The Apocalypse of Apathy, with everyone simply closing their eyes to wait for tomorrow, since everything is always normal tomorrow. It always resets, just to die again, but it always resets.

anyway if no one writes that i might be forced to. That's all.