Me: How Many Words Have I Written

me: how many words have i written

is it a million

is it TWO million

word counter: 409 words

me: LIES

Writing is hard work. It’s your job to string together words in such a way that readers will effortlessly understand your meaning.

If you’re writing a novel or poem, of course, you can break the rules and indulge in strange twists of phrase. But if you want to write a crisp blog post, persuade someone to buy your product, or explain how to do something step-by-step, your writing must be crystal clear. In fact, clarity is your #1 job, no matter what you’re writing.

There’s no formula for writing clearly, but there are techniques you can use to improve your prose.  Below, I list seven tips for making your writing simple and direct.

1. Put the reader first.

Your purpose is to communicate, not to show off your writing prowess. Words are the medium you use to transport the meaning in your head to the head of another person. You must ask yourself, “Who will read this?” Picture a real person and write directly to him or her.

2. Organize your thoughts.

You don’t need a detailed outline for most writing. If you’re comfortable with the sort of outline you learned in school, use it. Generally, all you need is to jot down the important points you want to make, and arrange them in the order you want to make them.

3. Use short paragraphs.

Look at any newspaper and notice how short the paragraphs are. That’s done to make reading easier and faster, since our brains take in information better when it’s broken into little chunks. Short paragraphs also look easier and less intimidating.

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alright but why does no one write colorblind character AUs??? 

(note: i am not colorblind, a friend of mine who is was just telling me about some of the shit that’s happened to him)

you accidentally took my bag instead of yours and i don’t know your name so i yelled “YOU IN THE YELLOW SHIRT” but you didn’t respond so i yelled “HEY ASSHOLE” when i finally caught up with you… and apparently your shirt is red??

we’re doing a lab in chemistry with the “flame test” where you set an element on fire and we’re supposed to record what color the flame is, but i have no fucking clue what color it’s supposed to be so i’m copying your answers and now you think i’m trying to cheat

i thought this tomato was ripe but it’s actually green and you saw me take a bite out of it and whispered “hardcore”

if you ask me “what color is this” one more time i’m going to punch you out don’t think i won’t

did you know i can’t be a police officer in certain states??? like what the fuck i will fight the system and become a police officer goddamn it, my partner can record that the perp’s shirt was fucking purple

you’re too polite to tell me that the colors of my outfit clash horribly but the jokes on you because i actually know what colors they’re supposed to be (because there’s an app for that!) and i just like making your eyes bleed

can someone explain the alignment chart for me but in like, the simplest wording possible lmao

Rivalry to Romance AUs

We hate each other but we both have a mutual friend so we have to put up with each other AU

This is a mandatory partner project and since everybody else is taken I have to have you as my partner AU

You’re my jerk barista who purposely screws up my name when I order my caffeine fix AU

The Proposal AU

You used to bully/mess with me in elementary school and it turned out it was because you had a major crush on me AU

I’m trying to recruit members for my club but you keep stealing away all my potential recruits AU

You spoil all the things I’m into and it’s really pissing me off AU

So I have to spend the night at my longtime rival’s house, everything will totally be fine because their parents are there (or not) AU

If you aren’t serious about this play then leave AU

I know you don’t like me but I really need help passing this class AU

Don’t tell anyone you saw me crying AU

I don’t want to go to this party/dance alone so please be my date AU

Just got caught under the mistletoe with my arch-nemesis and now everything is slow changing between us AU

You come to the restaurant I work at and choose me as your waiter(ess) every time just to annoy me and I can’t do anything in retribution or I’ll get fired AU

I spilled my lunch on this person one time and now they hate me AU

A Walk to Remember AU

You’re the Gantu to my Stitch AU

me: *plots out entire novel, mentally writes 500 pages of dialogue, and deeply develops primary and secondary characters whilst driving*

me: *opens microsoft word* wait, what?