Where An International Spy Gets The Wrong Intel And Strikes Up A Conversation With An Informant But It

where an international spy gets the wrong intel and strikes up a conversation with an informant but it turns out the other person is just normal. they aren’t a spy, they’re just having a coffee when this well dressed stranger quoted some pop culture reference and they couldn’t help but answer because like, it was so obvious

now the spy weekly talks shop while the normal person relates

“almost died last week”

“tell me about it, the new management is terrible”

Person A is in bed reading a book. Person B enters and climbs into bed with them. Without looking up person A raises their arm so that person B can crawl under and snuggle up with them. Person B falls asleep.

SYNONYMS FOR WORDS COMMONLY USED IN STUDENTS' WRITINGS

by larae.net

Amazing- incredible, unbelievable, improbable, fabulous, wonderful, fantastic, astonishing, astounding, extraordinary

Anger- enrage, infuriate, arouse, nettle, exasperate, inflame, madden

Angry- mad, furious, enraged, excited, wrathful, indignant, exasperated, aroused, inflamed

Answer- reply, respond, retort, acknowledge

Ask- question, inquire of, seek information from, put a question to, demand, request, expect, inquire, query, interrogate, examine, quiz

Awful- dreadful, terrible, abominable, bad, poor, unpleasant

Bad- evil, immoral, wicked, corrupt, sinful, depraved, rotten, contaminated, spoiled, tainted, harmful, injurious, unfavorable, defective, inferior, imperfect, substandard, faulty, improper, inappropriate, unsuitable, disagreeable, unpleasant, cross, nasty, unfriendly, irascible, horrible, atrocious, outrageous, scandalous, infamous, wrong, noxious, sinister, putrid, snide, deplorable, dismal, gross, heinous, nefarious, base, obnoxious, detestable, despicable, contemptible, foul, rank, ghastly, execrable

Beautiful - pretty, lovely, handsome, attractive, gorgeous, dazzling, splendid, magnificent, comely, fair, ravishing, graceful, elegant, fine, exquisite, aesthetic, pleasing, shapely, delicate, stunning, glorious, heavenly, resplendent, radiant, glowing, blooming, sparkling

Begin - start, open, launch, initiate, commence, inaugurate, originate

Big - enormous, huge, immense, gigantic, vast, colossal, gargantuan, large, sizable, grand, great, tall, substantial, mammoth, astronomical, ample, broad, expansive, spacious, stout, tremendous, titanic, mountainous

Brave - courageous, fearless, dauntless, intrepid, plucky, daring, heroic, valorous, audacious, bold, gallant, valiant, doughty, mettlesome

Break - fracture, rupture, shatter, smash, wreck, crash, demolish, atomize

Bright - shining, shiny, gleaming, brilliant, sparkling, shimmering, radiant, vivid, colorful, lustrous, luminous, incandescent, intelligent, knowing, quick-witted, smart, intellectual

Calm - quiet, peaceful, still, tranquil, mild, serene, smooth, composed, collected, unruffled, level-headed, unexcited, detached, aloof

Come - approach, advance, near, arrive, reach

Cool - chilly, cold, frosty, wintry, icy, frigid

Crooked - bent, twisted, curved, hooked, zigzag

Cry - shout, yell, yowl, scream, roar, bellow, weep, wail, sob, bawl

Cut - gash, slash, prick, nick, sever, slice, carve, cleave, slit, chop, crop, lop, reduce

Dangerous - perilous, hazardous, risky, uncertain, unsafe

Dark - shadowy, unlit, murky, gloomy, dim, dusky, shaded, sunless, black, dismal, sad

Decide - determine, settle, choose, resolve

Definite - certain, sure, positive, determined, clear, distinct, obvious

Delicious - savory, delectable, appetizing, luscious, scrumptious, palatable, delightful, enjoyable, toothsome, exquisite

Describe - portray, characterize, picture, narrate, relate, recount, represent, report, record

Destroy - ruin, demolish, raze, waste, kill, slay, end, extinguish

Difference - disagreement, inequity, contrast, dissimilarity, incompatibility

Do - execute, enact, carry out, finish, conclude, effect, accomplish, achieve, attain

Dull - boring, tiring„ tiresome, uninteresting, slow, dumb, stupid, unimaginative, lifeless, dead, insensible, tedious, wearisome, listless, expressionless, plain, monotonous, humdrum, dreary

Eager - keen, fervent, enthusiastic, involved, interested, alive to

End - stop, finish, terminate, conclude, close, halt, cessation, discontinuance

Enjoy - appreciate, delight in, be pleased, indulge in, luxuriate in, bask in, relish, devour, savor, like

Explain - elaborate, clarify, define, interpret, justify, account for

Fair - just, impartial, unbiased, objective, unprejudiced, honest

Fall - drop, descend, plunge, topple, tumble

False - fake, fraudulent, counterfeit, spurious, untrue, unfounded, erroneous, deceptive, groundless, fallacious

Famous - well-known, renowned, celebrated, famed, eminent, illustrious, distinguished, noted, notorious

Fast - quick, rapid, speedy, fleet, hasty, snappy, mercurial, swiftly, rapidly, quickly, snappily, speedily, lickety-split, posthaste, hastily, expeditiously, like a flash

Fat - stout, corpulent, fleshy, beefy, paunchy, plump, full, rotund, tubby, pudgy, chubby, chunky, burly, bulky, elephantine

Fear - fright, dread, terror, alarm, dismay, anxiety, scare, awe, horror, panic, apprehension

Fly - soar, hover, flit, wing, flee, waft, glide, coast, skim, sail, cruise

Funny - humorous, amusing, droll, comic, comical, laughable, silly

Get - acquire, obtain, secure, procure, gain, fetch, find, score, accumulate, win, earn, rep, catch, net, bag, derive, collect, gather, glean, pick up, accept, come by, regain, salvage

Go - recede, depart, fade, disappear, move, travel, proceed

Good - excellent, fine, superior, wonderful, marvelous, qualified, suited, suitable, apt, proper, capable, generous, kindly, friendly, gracious, obliging, pleasant, agreeable, pleasurable, satisfactory, well-behaved, obedient, honorable, reliable, trustworthy, safe, favorable, profitable, advantageous, righteous, expedient, helpful, valid, genuine, ample, salubrious, estimable, beneficial, splendid, great, noble, worthy, first-rate, top-notch, grand, sterling, superb, respectable, edifying

Great - noteworthy, worthy, distinguished, remarkable, grand, considerable, powerful, much, mighty

Gross - improper, rude, coarse, indecent, crude, vulgar, outrageous, extreme, grievous, shameful, uncouth, obscene, low

Happy - pleased, contented, satisfied, delighted, elated, joyful, cheerful, ecstatic, jubilant, gay, tickled, gratified, glad, blissful, overjoyed

Hate - despise, loathe, detest, abhor, disfavor, dislike, disapprove, abominate

Have - hold, possess, own, contain, acquire, gain, maintain, believe, bear, beget, occupy, absorb, fill, enjoy

Help - aid, assist, support, encourage, back, wait on, attend, serve, relieve, succor, benefit, befriend, abet

Hide - conceal, cover, mask, cloak, camouflage, screen, shroud, veil

Hurry - rush, run, speed, race, hasten, urge, accelerate, bustle

Hurt - damage, harm, injure, wound, distress, afflict, pain

Idea - thought, concept, conception, notion, understanding, opinion, plan, view, belief

Important - necessary, vital, critical, indispensable, valuable, essential, significant, primary, principal, considerable, famous, distinguished, notable, well-known

Interesting - fascinating, engaging, sharp, keen, bright, intelligent, animated, spirited, attractive, inviting, intriguing, provocative, though-provoking, challenging, inspiring, involving, moving, titillating, tantalizing, exciting, entertaining, piquant, lively, racy, spicy, engrossing, absorbing, consuming, gripping, arresting, enthralling, spellbinding, curious, captivating, enchanting, bewitching, appealing

Keep - hold, retain, withhold, preserve, maintain, sustain, support

Kill - slay, execute, assassinate, murder, destroy, cancel, abolish

Lazy - indolent, slothful, idle, inactive, sluggish

Little - tiny, small, diminutive, shrimp, runt, miniature, puny, exiguous, dinky, cramped, limited, itsy-bitsy, microscopic, slight, petite, minute

Look - gaze, see, glance, watch, survey, study, seek, search for, peek, peep, glimpse, stare, contemplate, examine, gape, ogle, scrutinize, inspect, leer, behold, observe, view, witness, perceive, spy, sight, discover, notice, recognize, peer, eye, gawk, peruse, explore

Love - like, admire, esteem, fancy, care for, cherish, adore, treasure, worship, appreciate, savor

Make - create, originate, invent, beget, form, construct, design, fabricate, manufacture, produce, build, develop, do, effect, execute, compose, perform, accomplish, earn, gain, obtain, acquire, get

Mark - label, tag, price, ticket, impress, effect, trace, imprint, stamp, brand, sign, note, heed, notice, designate

Mischievous - prankish, playful, naughty, roguish, waggish, impish, sportive

Move - plod, go, creep, crawl, inch, poke, drag, toddle, shuffle, trot, dawdle, walk, traipse, mosey, jog, plug, trudge, slump, lumber, trail, lag, run, sprint, trip, bound, hotfoot, high-tail, streak, stride, tear, breeze, whisk, rush, dash, dart, bolt, fling, scamper, scurry, skedaddle, scoot, scuttle, scramble, race, chase, hasten, hurry, hump, gallop, lope, accelerate, stir, budge, travel, wander, roam, journey, trek, ride, spin, slip, glide, slide, slither, coast, flow, sail, saunter, hobble, amble, stagger, paddle, slouch, prance, straggle, meander, perambulate, waddle, wobble, pace, swagger, promenade, lunge

Moody - temperamental, changeable, short-tempered, glum, morose, sullen, mopish, irritable, testy, peevish, fretful, spiteful, sulky, touchy

Neat - clean, orderly, tidy, trim, dapper, natty, smart, elegant, well-organized, super, desirable, spruce, shipshape, well-kept, shapely

New - fresh, unique, original, unusual, novel, modern, current, recent

Old - feeble, frail, ancient, weak, aged, used, worn, dilapidated, ragged, faded, broken-down, former, old-fashioned, outmoded, passe, veteran, mature, venerable, primitive, traditional, archaic, conventional, customary, stale, musty, obsolete, extinct

Part - portion, share, piece, allotment, section, fraction, fragment

Place - space, area, spot, plot, region, location, situation, position, residence, dwelling, set, site, station, status, state

Plan - plot, scheme, design, draw, map, diagram, procedure, arrangement, intention, device, contrivance, method, way, blueprint

Popular - well-liked, approved, accepted, favorite, celebrated, common, current

Predicament - quandary, dilemma, pickle, problem, plight, spot, scrape, jam

Put - place, set, attach, establish, assign, keep, save, set aside, effect, achieve, do, build

Quiet - silent, still, soundless, mute, tranquil, peaceful, calm, restful

Right - correct, accurate, factual, true, good, just, honest, upright, lawful, moral, proper, suitable, apt, legal, fair

Run - race, speed, hurry, hasten, sprint, dash, rush, escape, elope, flee

Say/Tell - inform, notify, advise, relate, recount, narrate, explain, reveal, disclose, divulge, declare, command, order, bid, enlighten, instruct, insist, teach, train, direct, issue, remark, converse, speak, affirm, suppose, utter, negate, express, verbalize, voice, articulate, pronounce, deliver, convey, impart, assert, state, allege, mutter, mumble, whisper, sigh, exclaim, yell, sing, yelp, snarl, hiss, grunt, snort, roar, bellow, thunder, boom, scream, shriek, screech, squawk, whine, philosophize, stammer, stutter, lisp, drawl, jabber, protest, announce, swear, vow, content, assure, deny, dispute

Scared - afraid, frightened, alarmed, terrified, panicked, fearful, unnerved, insecure, timid, shy, skittish, jumpy, disquieted, worried, vexed, troubled, disturbed, horrified, terrorized, shocked, petrified, haunted, timorous, shrinking, tremulous, stupefied, paralyzed, stunned, apprehensive

Show - display, exhibit, present, note, point to, indicate, explain, reveal, prove, demonstrate, expose

Slow - unhurried, gradual, leisurely, late, behind, tedious, slack

Stop - cease, halt, stay, pause, discontinue, conclude, end, finish, quit

Story - tale, myth, legend, fable, yarn, account, narrative, chronicle, epic, sage, anecdote, record, memoir

Strange - odd, peculiar, unusual, unfamiliar, uncommon, queer, weird, outlandish, curious, unique, exclusive, irregular

Take - hold, catch, seize, grasp, win, capture, acquire, pick, choose, select, prefer, remove, steal, lift, rob, engage, bewitch, purchase, buy, retract, recall, assume, occupy, consume

Tell - disclose, reveal, show, expose, uncover, relate, narrate, inform, advise, explain, divulge, declare, command, order, bid, recount, repeat

Think - judge, deem, assume, believe, consider, contemplate, reflect, mediate

Trouble - distress, anguish, anxiety, worry, wretchedness, pain, danger, peril, disaster, grief, misfortune, difficulty, concern, pains, inconvenience, exertion, effort

True - accurate, right, proper, precise, exact, valid, genuine, real, actual, trusty, steady, loyal, dependable, sincere, staunch

Ugly - hideous, frightful, frightening, shocking, horrible, unpleasant, monstrous, terrifying, gross, grisly, ghastly, horrid, unsightly, plain, homely, evil, repulsive, repugnant, gruesome

Unhappy - miserable, uncomfortable, wretched, heart-broken, unfortunate, poor, downhearted, sorrowful, depressed, dejected, melancholy, glum, gloomy, dismal, discouraged, sad

Use - employ, utilize, exhaust, spend, expend, consume, exercise

Wrong - incorrect, inaccurate, mistaken, erroneous, improper, unsuitable

“AUideas Top 101 AUs”

In no particular order:

“Hades & Persephone AU”: AU in which Character A is the dark God/dess of the Underworld who falls in love with innocent Spring God/dess Character B. Either Character A kidnaps Character B, or Character B is the willing runaway.

“Dystopia Love AU”: A future time when love is illegal/considered a disease. You can only be with the person assigned to you - but two characters fall in love despite the rules.

”Old Cold Soul AU”: Character A grew up in an environment where they weren’t offered very much affection as a child and now that they’re older, they have a lot of trouble conveying any emotions outside apathy, sarcasm, and being mildly interested in something. But after befriending Character B, an extremely lovey and affectionate person, Character A begins to fall hard for them. Awkward romance shenanigans ensue as Character A gets flustered over hand holding and hugging because affection is relatively alien to them.

Character A has been given one month to find and kill Character B. Character B, however, falls in love with Character A.

“Listen, I love you and all, but can you please stop hiding all the good junk food on the top shelves where I can’t see them?” AU

“Working in the experimental area of the hospital has its merits - but then again, I’m fairly certain that other departments don’t have random outbreaks of deadly diseases or go into lockdown periodically. Honestly, you don’t know how many book club meetings I’ve had to do over Skype because someone opened a tube of small pox again.” AU

Character A works for an orphanage in the mountains that takes in “abandoned” vampires  – meaning they didn’t have a sire/group of experienced vampires to teach them – and teaches them how to function in society. It’s not easy to help a bunch of fresh vampires dampen their natural, predatory instincts.

“This person’s umbrella on the subway is beeping.” AU (Spy AU)

“I’m a mailman, okay? I deliver goods, like letters, packages, and such, but I never asked for this, okay?! I never asked to deliver what was apparently an assault rifle and then be yanked into an FBI van and questioned for two hours straight. I DEMAND TO CALL MY LAWYER.” AU

“I’m a concerned neighbor, so I of course called the police when I heard muffled gunshots from next door. However, the police didn’t arrive next door - rather, someone arrived at MY door, and they certainly weren’t cops.” AU

“We’re both psychology majors, and it’s great and all that we know everything about the topic, but it would be awesome if you could stop diagnosing me with being a dick - it’s unnecessary and definitely not a legitimate condition.” AU

“You have a weird obsession with peanuts, and I’m hella allergic, but I guess we can make it work, as long and you stay way far on your side of the room and just never breath ever again or I will so punch you.” AU

“It turns out that bath salts really were the trigger for the apocalypse, and of course my boyfriend/girlfriend was the primary dealer. Who knew the Supreme Court would still be in session enough to prosecute them?” AU

“I’m a news reporter who got boarded up at the station with my annoying camera man who I suspect has the hots for me, and we’re stuck here for the foreseeable future; me reporting, and them continually asking if I want another protein bar” AU

After fulfilling their dream to become an astronaut, Character A discovers that space is much louder than they originally intended. The stars and bright and beautiful, but more of all, they are dangerous. AU about star spirits and mischievous space creatures.

“I’ve decided to begin a business of sorts - it’s basically a bar, but with MANY different types of hot chocolate, and without any alcohol (of course there isn’t any alcohol, who do you think I am). It’ll hopefully become a gathering place for those without another place to go on a snowy Tuesday night.” AU

“A war has been occurring at work: tea, coffee, or hot chocolate. Everyone has been taking sides, making barricades, hanging tea bags, and overall making a bit of an unpleasant work experience.” AU

AU where your character gets teleported into a book - that they have never read. In fact, they’ve never even heard of it before. As the story progresses, they start to realize that they are stuck in a tragedy in which they are almost certainly going to die.

”Loop Year AU”: It’s December 31st and Character A is stuck in a time loop. Every night, as people ring in the New Year, Character A races against the clock to find and kiss their soulmate at midnight. If they don’t do it in time, Character A is forced to live the day over again. 

“My philosophy teacher and I have had quite the crush on one another for a while. It’s cliché, yes, I know, but I’m not sure how to handle our relationship now that I know they’ve been murdering all of my exes sequentially because he sees what they did to me as morally wrong and that they need to repent in hell” AU

In a world where books are used to predict people’s futures, Character A reads that they’re never going to be in a relationship because they’re aromantic, which explains an awful lot about their confused teenage years, and decides to become a Book Interpreter, helping other people unveil their futures with the help of books.

“So the sky is still raining fire and meteors, and my laptop is running low on battery, but I wanted to say that I like you, a lot. Even though we haven’t ever talked in real life, if this is the end of the world then I’m really happy that I got to meet you.” AU

Star-Crossed Lovers AU: One character is an angel fallen to Earth, the other a demon rewarded with a life Earth. They find each other and fall in love, only to be taken back to their places in heaven and hell.

“You found me crying in Barnes & Noble and thought that I was reading a sad book so you tried to comfort me but really I was just super happy that the dog didn’t die at the end.” AU

“We’ve both studied martial arts in the past, and although I studied Shaolin Kempo, you clearly think that your Jiu Jitsu training is far above my own, so I can only think of one way to settle this.” AU

”Blood and Sparkles AU”: Magical universe au where Character A is broke and is trying to make ends meet by working as a secretary for a large company. At night, to feel alive and to make some extra cash, Character A participates in an underground fight club against other magic users/magical creatures.

Magical universe AU where Character A is a witch who bakes tarts and miniature pies that do everything from soothing a child’s persistent cough, to helping boost a student’s memory before a big test.

Character A runs a small, locally owned bookstore and somehow gets their hands on this old, cursed book. Interested, Character A takes it home and begins to read it, unknowing of the book’s power. Character B is a mage in search of the book, and stumbles upon Character A’s bookstore. Though, their first interaction is an odd one, Character B is trying to pry the book from Character A’s hands if it will kill them.

Character A works at a rival coffee shop from Character B and they’re both engaged in a passive-aggressive fight with seeing who can create the best sidewalk sign art outside of their coffee shop.

”Little Light of Mine AU”: Character A works at a candle shop that specializes in aromatherapy, selling candles that are infused with natural oils to help people sleep/keep from stressing out/focus/relieve pain/kick addictions/have sweet dreams. Across the street, Character B works at a LGBTQ+ Center that uses Character A’s candles in their center so that it has a calming aura to it; they sometimes send people home with small tea candles – free, provided by Character A from leftover candle wax – so that they can light one when they’re feeling overwhelmed.

“My favorite part of the season is taking afternoon strolls down this one scenic road - the same one from when I was a kid. The comforting sun leaks through the interwoven mosaic of warm colors, giving everything a hue of safety and homeliness. The narrow road weaves and turns to the extent that it’s difficult to believe that it’s a two way street, with the occasional car passing slowly to take in the breathtaking sights. Tea in one hand and camera at my waist, I love to simply breathe in my surroundings and the crisp autumn air.”

#1: “Although this has always been a special time for my meditation, I’ve found someone that I truly think is worthy of basking in this golden light with me and sharing this wonderful experience.” AU

#2: “Leaning down to snap of photo of a particularly adorable cluster of mushrooms, I saw a shadow dart between the trees.” AU

#3: “It felt wonderful, just strolling on this narrow pathway, feeling the warmth of the sun and the scratch of my scarf. I closed my eyes for a single moment and smiled, only to wake up in a hospital only seconds later. Terrified and confused, a nurse told me that someone had found me on the side of the road, almost fatally wounded… just left there, in a pool of warmth and crimson.” AU

“Halloween is without a doubt my favorite holiday of the year; it gives even the most shy of us the opportunity to become someone we aren’t. I can be whoever I want to be, so I became (insert video game / movie / television / book character here), of course. However…this year something has gone wrong. Everyone has become who their costumes are. Most people would think ‘but that’s awesome!’, and that’s where they would be wrong. The ‘cool kids’ always group together and choose a specific idea to surround and, well, have you ever heard of that one movie ‘The Purge?’” AU

Character A is a dragon hunter that’s tracking the few remaining dragons on Earth. Character B is a dragon rider that is trying to help the dragons hide from the hunter and find somewhere safe to live.

“What do you mean my kingdom is in danger? I left it like 2 hours ago. Why do I even have advisers?!” AU

Character A, a witch, left their book of spells on the bus and Character B, a non-magic user, finds it. Character B has to read through the book in order to find hints as to who it belongs to.

Bonus: By the time Character B tracks down Character A to return the book, they’re so fascinated with magic that they ask Character A to be their mentor.

After applying for a new reality TV show, Character A finds themselves involved in a scavenger hunt that takes place across the USA. With a GoPro camera, their dog, and their best friend/sibling/significant other/ext. in the passenger seat, Character A has to take one hell of a road trip for a chance to win 1,000,000 dollars.

Character A doesn’t know how to tell all the people commenting on their “cool design” on their key chain is actually a sigil to help them always remember where they put their keys. Especially that really religious looking person wearing the crucifix and holding a bible who keeps asking where they got it.

”Trust Me Honey, I’m Lying AU”: Character A is a professional con artist, specializing in tricking rich people to take Character A out for fancy dinners, then Character A leaves the other person with a hefty bill. Character B is Character A’s mousy roommate who would rather spend the day playing MMORPGs games on their laptop than interacting with actual humans. When one of Character A’s plans goes horribly awry, Character B is dragged into Character A’s scheme to make Character C (the heir of a major business and Character A’s latest victim) go on several dates with Character B so that Character A can scam Character C for money…the only problem is that Characters B and C are starting to develop real feelings for each other.

”Grave dating advise AU”: When Character A moves out of their family’s house and into a small apartment, they realize that the apartment is haunted by Character B, a spirit who, after learning that Character A isn’t going to drive them out – it’s pretty cool to have a ghost for a roommate – finds infinite enjoyment in mapping out Character A’s romance life with Characters C, D, and E. Character C is a psychic who feels the “ghostly energy” clinging to Character A almost immediately. When Character D comes over for Netflix and chill, they promptly begin to freak out because “holy shoot who is that on the recliner watching us???” And Character E thinks it’s pretty neat (only a little bit freaky) that Character A is living with a ghost! Cue long nights of Character A and Character B talking about romance and all of the shenanigans that go along with it.

“I’ve been RP-ing with someone for months and months now without fail, and we’ve created a world that is completely beyond belief. It’s almost…too good to be true? (First Ending: the two RP-ers continue to write back and forth for years and years, developing the most complicated and involved story since The Lord of the Rings. The two decide to meet in person in order to edit and revise, and perhaps discuss publishing. It turns out the two have seen each other many times before but never actually addressed each other.) [Second Ending: one of the two RP-ers turns out to be a witch and throws both themselves and their RP friend into the world they’ve created]” AU

“I’ve accidentally broken both of my wrists after falling down the dorm building stairs, so now I need to have a “partner” from the Aid Club whose purpose is to specifically help kids who accidentally break limbs, have difficulty in class, etc. The only issue is that I can’t…exactly…type. I’m a short story major. What in the name of sanity can I do?? It’s not like I can ask this really nice person to type up my homework of 12 pages a night!!……can I?” AU

“Who says that marching band isn’t a sport? We don’t care about the technicalities - we will call our conductor ‘coach’ for as long as we need to in order to be allowed to have a huge cooler of Gatorade on site.” AU

“Someone set fire to the adjoining room by accident and we’re locked into the practice room without a way to escape - no, dude, we are not like the quartet on the Titanic, now help me open this stupid window…blockhead…” AU

Character A is a tattoo artist with the ability to create tattoos that give the wearer mental comfort – lessened dysphoria, better self-esteem, “full” feeling for OCD urges, peace from anxiety, ext.

“Okay, so every time we go out drinking, there is a designated driver. I know that you’re immediately thinking that that’s ‘so responsible,’ but that’s totally not the case - the general rule is that the youngest had to drive. My group of friends hasn’t added anyone in four years. Do you know how long I’ve been sober. Too long.” AU

When Character A accidentally causes a lemon tree to spring up from their dead fish’s grave, it’s revealed that they’re magical…but sort of in an unconventional way. Character A can do magic, but it requires a freshly dead corpse (mammalian is strongest) in order to create a new life (usually plants).

Character A, Character B, and Character C are a team of demonhunters, trying to survive in the post-apocalyptic world. Together, they kill any demons they can and try to preserve humanity.

“Spontaneous AU”: As their New Year’s resolution, Character A is trying to kick their addiction – to substances, adrenaline, shopping, crime, ect. – and every time they feel the need to indulge again, Character A goes out and buys a house plant. Soon Character A’s apartment is filled with plants and they’ve become close friends with Character B, the gardener who has been selling Character A plants and giving them tips on how to take care of the different types.

Character A is the child of a fisher(wo)man who was lost at sea when Character A was young. Being raised in a lighthouse by their highly superstitious grandparent(s), Character A finds themselves alone one night as a pale lilac fog begins to roll in from the ocean, and something wet, nasty, and abdominal starts to push at the lighthouse’s walls. Character A has gone through this before, but there’s a wailing coming from the water, and it’s telling Character A to come outside. 

“Oh…oh. Yep. You just summoned an Elder God on the football field and to be honest I’m not sure that I can even be mad at you right now because this means that I don’t have to take my AP Calculus final tomorrow.” AU 

”Lifespan AU”: Magical universe au where Character A is a magic user, but they’ve inherited a family curse that drops time off of Character A’s lifespan whenever they use magic. One day, while walking to their job, Character A watches as Character B accidentally steps out in front of a city bus and Character A, acting on reflex, uses a large amount of magic to save them.Character B is also a magic user and coincidentally, the only one who can break Character A’s family curse, but time is quickly running out for Character A. 

“I’m Blind to the Pain AU”: Character A is blind and has been left behind by their parents and siblings during the zombie apocalypse. Upon waking up, they realize that they’re alone and locked in their room. After turning on the news and hearing reports of the apocalyptic spread of zombies, Character A realizes what’s going on. Hurt, but angry more than anything, they contact friends that live nearby and tell them what’s happening. Once they’re broken out, Character A vows to survive and prove their family wrong. Character A wants to show everyone that just because they’re blind, doesn’t mean they’re helpless or should be left to die.

”Monster Circus AU”: Character A works for a circus that has been dubbed “The Monster Circus” because how all of the employees dress up in hyper realistic monster costumes…except they’re not costumes. Character B is one of the only humans who works at the circus, and they’re constantly having to work with Character A, a monster, to help keep the circus under control. 

”Fairy Houses AU”: Character A is a solitary artist who likes to use items from nature – shells, bark, sticks, moss, ext – in order to make their sculptures: outdoor fairy houses. Afraid that people will wreck the small houses, Character A posts pictures online of each house, creating an air of mystery around them. Character B is a jogger who uses running to manage their anger. While exploring a new forest trail, Character B accidentally stumbles across Character A’s secret studio in the woods. Slowly, so as to not ‘spook’ them, Character B starts to bring Character A any pretty leaves/pebbles/flowers/ext. that Character B finds on their run.

“My face was injured some time ago, halting my otherwise lucrative and successful theatre career at a young age. It saddened me to leave the stage so quickly, so I have been partaking in the noble part of techie ever since the accident. However, one of the leads got bronchitis and as they were looking for the perfect replacement at the last minute…unfortunately…someone Googled me.” AU

“We were notorious around the cast for being the Romeo and Juliet of the show; not literally, of course, but we represented the two sides of theatre: those in the lights (the actors) and those in the shadows (techies). We would make out relentlessly in between scenes until my techie kissing buddy would practically push me onstage to do my next scene. When the time arose for someone to take the part of my counterpart due to a problem, there was an almost completely unanimous vote that my Romeo in the Shadows would make the perfect replacement since they already knew the entire show by heart. Plus, well, we had already proven that we could kiss.” AU

”ERROR 404: LIFE NOT FOUND AU”: Character A is an AI inside of a human shaped robot. Upon wakening, it finds that the factory/bomb shelter/workshop/ext where it was built is in complete ruin. Picking its way around its disassembled and ‘dead’ brethren, Character A finds a note stating that its creators, Characters B and C, had abandoned their life's’ work because all hope in rebuilding Earth was lost. Outside, the modern world has died. The air shimmers from the sun’s intense heat, even after it’s dipped below the horizon, and Character A is left to roam the scorched landscape in hope of finding something, anything, that is still alive. 

Character A is an universe hopper – like a time traveler, but with jumping between universes – and due to a drastic miscalculation, Character A and B (the trusty sidekick) find themselves at the execution of Character C, a royal who has been charged for murder. Thinking fast, Character B declares that they’re a detective who’s been sent to look into Character C’s case. It’s up to Character B and Character A (now taking the reluctant role of sidekick) to help clear Character C’s name and to avoid being executed too. 

”Beauty in Death AU”: Character A doesn’t think that they’re an attractive person – and maybe they’re not – but to Character B, the literal grim reaper, Character A is one of the most beautiful people that they’ve ever seen. Cue Character B purposely going out of their way to extend Character A’s lifespan and to make Character A’s life a little better for them.

”Kittens AU”: Characters A, B, and C share an apartment together. One afternoon, Character A finds a cat and its litter of kittens abandoned behind the dumpster. Cue Character A and B being total saps and trying to take care of these cats in their small, shared bathroom, while Character C tries to remind them that animals are totally against the apartment rules.

”Library!AU”: Character A is a librarian at the library that Character B regularly visits. Character A often leaves silly books (on things like pick-up lines or studies on sex positions) on Character B’s favorite chair while they’re browsing for more books. It’s just Character A’s way of flirting. They never say much about them, but Character B always checks out with Character A. After a couple of weeks, Character A remarks that Character B has an unusual taste in literature, jumping from horror to romance to mystery with no notice. Character B just smiles. The next time Character B comes in, they ask Character A to try to figure out their book pattern, only winking then walking out. Character A studies the list of books that Character B has checked out, and eventually realizes that the first letter of each title spells ‘WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME’. The next day Character B comes to the checkout, looking hopeful, but Character A simply scans their book without saying anything, ripping off their receipt and scribbling on the back. Character B walks out to their car, only to find that the back of the receipt has a restaurant, time, & phone number, with the words ‘don’t be late!’.

Character A takes on a villain and almost fails, only to be saved by an unknown entity (Character B) who also nurses them back to health but respects them enough to both not reveal their identities. During the time that A gets back on their feet, the two have small but fiery interactions. A finally leaves in their civilian form, only to come across a strikingly familiar homeless person (secretly B).

Character A is a superhero who tends to disregard damages done to the city. Character B, however, sees these damages as anything but collateral, as they are the ones that have to handle the insurance. In a fit of rage, B sues A without realizing A’s true identity as their crush, and A too is not able to face their accuser. Everything becomes all too real once their eyes meet in the court room.

Character A works in a café with a co-worker, Character B. A notices that B is constantly itching his collar one day. Curiosity overcomes them and they ask what’s wrong - B must avoid the question at all cost as they don’t want A to know that it’s a new detergent they purchased that seems to irritate their skin…specifically the collar of their hidden super suit.

Character A is a psychologist that has many regular patients, but one has always stood out to him in particular: Character B, who is in reality a super hero.Character A is a tailor who has been having quite an uneventful day until a bag appears on their desk the moment they return with the tag “Please Keep This Secret and Safe - I’ll come back tomorrow to retrieve it with pay…sorry for being so cryptic” They, of course, open said bag and are encountered with the last thing they expect - a super suit.

”Black Friday, Black Coffee AU”: Character A has been working at a retail store during the night/early morning of Black Friday and is so tired, but they need to stay awake so that they can drive home. Character A stops at Character B’s small coffee shop – which opened early in case people came in at 4am – and Character A accidentally falls asleep in a very comfortable chair while waiting on their coffee. Character B lets them sleep and even gets a blanket out of the back room to cover Character A. 

“The Barista and the Bibliophile AU”: Character A is an employee at a quaint little bookstore in their town. Character B is a barista at the café right next door. Every day, Character A goes to the café right before they start work and during their break. Character B always work at the same time as Character A, so whenever A comes in, it’s B who serves them. Because Character A comes in so regularly and orders the same thing every time, Character B and Character A start to bond. After a while, Character B will have Character A’s order ready before they even enter the café. Once getting their order, Character A will sit at the same table right by the window and pull out a book. Every day, it’s a new one. And each day, Character B will sit down with Character A and take a little break to hear A talk about their latest read.

“As a botanist, you could say that I have a slight obsession with magnificent-looking plants; I know you wanted to go to the movie theater for our first date, but I can assure you that one of the most breathtaking sights you’ll ever see is my home in bloom.” AU

After a freak accident involving a bicycle and a flock of geese, Character A wakes up in the hospital to find that their childhood, imaginary friend – who they stopped believing in ages ago – is their significant other. Everyone can see Character B, the ex-imaginary friend, and keeps telling Character A that the two of them have been dating for a long while now, but that doesn’t explain what happened to Character C, Character A’s real significant other before the accident.

”The Sound of Your Voice AU”: Character A has a hard time with reading – because of their dyslexia/visual impairment/ADHD/etc. – and asks if Character B would mind reading Character A’s assignments aloud to them since Character B has a really, really nice voice.

“”its the sleeping hour” AU”: Character A lives a few time zones away from Character B and is notorious for staying up later than they are supposed to. In order to make sure Character A gets enough sleep, Character B always messages them “its the sleeping hour” at midnight every night in the hope that Character A will take better care of themself. Possible Ways to Continue: 1.) An accident causes a lack of messages from Character B, causing Character A to panic and become more insomnia-ridden than ever, 2.) Romance ensues, 3.) Character B always tells Character A to go to bed, only to stay up with them because they enjoy the other’s company so much.

“These are my final words of warning to all other illegal hackers before whoever is outside my apartment door breaks their way in and drags me off.” AU 

One-shot story telling how Character A’s marching band went to the 24-hour Wal-Mart after a competition and how Character B almost got left behind because they fell asleep on a display chair, and how Character C bought the drum line a jug of chocolate milk, and how Character D was that one kid who bought all the half-priced doughnuts and only shared them with the flutes…ext.

”Survivors AU”: Zombie apocalypse au where Characters A, B, C, and D have formed a small group together and are slowly trying to make their way to a safer home. Everything is going okay, until Character C begins to note that the group is being followed by one very stubborn zombie. 

”Strike Me Down AU”: Character A is caught in a rogue thunderstorm and is struck by lightning. In a final attempt to save themself, they call 911 and are found by the first paramedic to make it on the scene, Character B. The bolt leaves Character A with an incredibly intricate scar running down their shoulder, to their arm, back, and side of their neck. Characters A & B keep in touch after Character A pulls through, but both are astonished to find that Character B has scars slowly appearing precisely the same pattern as Character A but on the opposite side of their body.

Characters A and B rented an apartment across the hall from Characters C and D. Through a series of miscellaneous and hilarious antics, most of which involve cooking food, the four of them begin to intermingle in the others’ lives, somehow making a family out of their mess.

”Roommate AU”: As a chance to break out of their social bubble, Character A decided to go with a potluck roommate for their freshman year of college. At first, Character A feels like they got the cream of the crop with Character B as a roommate, but everything starts to change after their third month rooming together. Character A could have handled Character B coming back from parties at weird hours of the night, but when Character B starts developing strange habits - anxiety around mirrors, eating a lot of raw sushi, sleepwalking, keeping their nails short, ext - Character A starts to wonder if there isn’t something more supernatural to their potluck roommate.

”Being Tailed AU”: Character A is going to a local tailor / seamstress to get their suit / dress tailored to their specific measurements since it seems that it isn’t fitting quite right. They meet the store’s expert, Character B, and begin getting their measurements done until they feel a pin prick the side of their neck. Soon after they collapse and Character B, someone who actually followed them there and posed as the tailor, takes them away.

Character A is a ghost who haunts the dorms at Character B’s college. Not insanely happy that they’re rooted to a college dorm for the rest of their spirit’s existence, but Character A enjoys the shenanigans and always makes sure that everyone in Character B’s dorm is doing okay. 

”The Dragon Child AU”: Character A is something of an abnormality, even in a world of magic. Hatched from a stone egg – typical of magical lizards – Character A is half-human and half-dragon, with sharp teeth, membrane thin wings for arms, and fiery red eyes. After overhearing news that a dragon had been spotted flying over a town/village/city/metropolis/ext. Character A thinks that by meeting a real dragon, they may find something about themselves, maybe having a chance to meet others like them. With Character B, Character A’s childhood friend who has a ‘knack’ for telling the future, and Character C, a thief who’s running from the law, Character A sets off to find out who they really are, where they came from, and if they’re alone in the world. 

Time travel has been invented, and to be able to do so, characters must get a time visa, a glowing tattoo that eventually expires. Each time they travel to a different time, the visa will take something from the characters.. (Personally, I used part of the soul.) When your visa expires, the warm yellow glow becomes a harsh red tint. They can be jailed for continuing to travel without renewing visas.

“I voice act for a Video Game company, and one of their newest and most raved-about RP games will be released in about a month or so, and we only finished about half of my script before I came down with a severe case of bronchitis that disallowed me from continuing. There is one other option that would save the game and the company, but I really don’t know if I’m strong enough in every way to contact my identical twin to ask for help - especially after what happened.” AU

Character A goes to the local technology store to get a new phone, only to walk out finding that they already have a number of texts from an unknown number, consisting of nonsensical series of numbers. Frightened, they reenter the store and ask the attendant who had helped them load the phone, Character B, for help. B is surprised, as the number was brand new and should not be available. The two attempt to find what the numbers mean.

This is a classic coffeeshop story: Character A is a barista in a café, while Character B is the smitten customer who is thrilled that they were lucky enough to get Character A’s phone number written on their coffee cup. Later that evening, they waited for Character A to answer their phone in anticipation, only to be greeted by a… sex hotline? (Character A could either be wanting to mess with Character B or Character A legitimately works for the hotline to get some extra cash)

“Home Is Where I’m With You AU”: When Character A’s spouse files for a divorce, they suddenly find themselves struggling to keep their family of three financially afloat as a single parent. It’s not long before Character A has to move to smaller, more affordable housing, which is where they meet their neighbor, Character B, who is also single parent. Soon, Character A’s kids start referring to Character B as their “other parent,” and their kid(s) as their “sibling(s).” As Character A and Character B’s kids grow closer, so do they. Between picking the three kids up from school, to taking the other’s child to ballet/soccer/sports practice, something like romance begins to form.

”Herbs and Sigils AU”: Character A is a witch who has recently moved from the countryside – where they were able to collect most of their ingredients from nature – to the bustling city. Character A has to adjust to finding somewhere that sells sage, thorns, and hemlock. (Hint: it’s a lot harder than you would think.) Character B is a small business owner that’s runs a struggling apothecary next to a coffee shop, which is run by the charismatic and flirty Character C. At this coffee shop, Character C runs their store like a typical coffee place with add-ins like espresso shots or caramel syrup, but after meeting Character B and becoming business partners – better servicing the magical community = $$$ – Character C has started to offer add-ins like confidence, charisma, or intelligence. While Character A adjusts to their new life in the city, Character B and Character C take it upon themselves to start teaching Character A about how to not seem like a wide-eyed tourist; Characters A and B try to teach Character C more about the magic using community. 

“In our world, people who lie are few and far between. Because we are so technologically advanced, we have a way of tracking those who do: through brands. With each lie told, a single brand is scorched onto every pant leg a person owns, giving them the name of ‘Burnt Prides.’ The fewer brands, the more revered you are…almost as if you’re a virgin. If you’re covered in brands…the more feared you are, and the more wanted you are by the authorities” AU

”Across Oceans AU”: In high school, Character A set a goal for themselves to become fluent in another language after a relative of theirs comment about how “American children are too dumb to learn another language.” In Character A’s third year of foreign language classes, they’re paired up with an overseas pen pal, Character B. Now, after talking over Skype, email, and traditional letters for years, Character A has saved up enough money to spend a month in Character B’s country while they act as their tour guide to Character A. Shenanigans ensue. 

“Not Quite Imaginary AU”: Characters A and B are twins who were involved in an accident that left Character A with limited use of their voice/hands/feet/eyes/ext and without their other sibling. To deal with the loss, Character A ‘fabricates’ another version of their sibling as an imaginary friend; however, as they grow older, Character A realizes that this imaginary sibling isn’t going away with age, and will often act on it’s own accord, almost like a ghost. Through the story, Character A is constantly caught wondering if Character B simply something that they made up as a kid to deal with grief, or if Character A is really being haunted by the ghost of their deceased sibling. 

”Fault in the Dark AU”: Character A tries to fix the television but accidentally short circuits the entire neighborhood - left in the dark, they and Character B must try and find a few flashlights and candles, all while stumbling around the house (future blanket fort / pillow fort optional).

”Eradicated AU”: Character A trained at an Academy for the Gifted from a young age, where they were eventually admitted to a program exclusive to Future Hired Assassins. After a few years in the business, they are confronted by the government who threaten them with a death sentence unless they kill one last person (Character B) that would in turn absolve them of any previous crimes they committed. Character B is the unfortunate civilian who is mistaken for a criminal mastermind planning to dismantle sectors of the military, leading to the demise of many. Character A has no idea that Character B is innocent.

”Living Shadows AU”: Character A lives in a world in which shadows are these beasts that threaten the lives of every human, they kill off by injecting venom into humans that either ends in a terrible death, or resulting into them turning into a shadow themselves. A has been selected to this program that has recently started know as “Shadow Hunter,” where certain humans are sent off based on traits they show to fight the shadows. A meets Character B, and they become a shadow hunting duo. The best of the best, they think they can never be toppled from their point at the top. What will happen when the shadows learn their tricks? (Bonus points if: A/B gets injected with venom, slowly starts turning into a shadow. The other must kill them off.)

“There’s an old legend in the circus industry of how putting your heart and soul truly into the show would bring it incredible success…who knew that this group would take it so literally.” AU

”Dry Roses AU”: Character A doesn’t have what you would call a ‘normal job.’ Because they were kicked out of their house at the age of 16, they have had to find a way to live and survive in the streets of Savannah, GA. The city has been forgiving in some aspects, allowing them to sell their own goods in more than one busy location for pedestrians. One day, they are selling and folding palm leaf roses by the shoreline early in the morning, when Character B finds them, looking very tired, and asks them for a rose. A offers them a deal: either they can have their rose right now for the regular price, or they can come back in exactly 13 minutes with a coffee and five dollars for something very special. B, suspicious but willing to play along, returns, coffee and bill in hand, only to find a large bouquet of palm leaf roses exactly where B was seated with the note “please find me again.” Recommended sad ending: A and B date for a while until one day B is hit by a bus, leaving A alone in their life. A’s palm leaf roses always cover B’s grave completely, never wilting, never dying.

Character A is a musician who has played with their eyes closed for years and years yet is able to hit every single note; upon being interviewed by Character B of this strange habit, A tell them that they’ll only tell them upon a few conditions (specified by author). Later, Character B learns that A has synesthesia, and this form allows them to be bombarded with colors among the unimaginable with each and every note they play, but only with their eyes closed: “I have to sacrifice accuracy in order to truly feel - I would make the same trade with the devil any damn day.”

”Just a Paper Cut AU”: As the school’s library intern, Character A has some fairly uneventful days, filled with the Dewey Decimal System and shushing rowdy students from shelves and shelves away, but what with the amount of books the library carries, it normally keeps them busy. Character B is studying for their Med Final when they accidentally procure a particularly nasty paper cut. For the average person, this would not be an issue, but for a person with a strangely low pain tolerance…it’s a completely different story. 

“”I’ll Save You” AU”: Character A is with a group of their friends in the zombie apocalypse. They’re bitten, but in this situation, the bite doesn’t turn the one who is bitten into a zombie for a few days. They will experience weakness, pains, and sickness during these days, however. Character B is a friend of Character A’s in the group, and they’re immune. They’d hidden this fact, knowing that they would be horribly experimented on until death if it was found out. But upon seeing Character A in suffering, Character B sneaks away and offers to be experimented on by the government to find a cure. Character A and their friends hear of the cure a couple days later and rejoice, until they see a picture of “the brave soul who sacrificed themselves for the sake of the world.”

“There is a legend that says that if you remove a doll’s eyes, they will watch you for the remainder of your life and decide upon your worthiness of having children or not. Depending on your actions, you may not have children, you may have children, or…you may wish you never had children.” AU

Characters A, B, C, and D are avid video gamers who make up the after school club, League of Gamers. When school is threatened by budget cuts and their club (along with many other unfunded clubs) is disbanded for not having enough members, it’s up to group to call on the other geeky clubs – cosplay club, anime club, D&D club, LOTR club, ext – to band together and make the ultimate geek club.

“When the elevator opened, you can bet your ass that the last thing I was expecting was you on your knees with a ring and a mariachi band. Who even are you and why would you propose like this???” AU

And, of course (at the request of many): “your character wakes up in the desert wearing a cowboy hat yeehaw what the hell happened here.”

5 editor’s secrets to help you write like a pro

1. Sentences can only do one thing at a time.

Have you ever heard a four-year-old run out of breath before she can finish her thought? I edit a lot of sentences that work the same way. You need a noun, you need a verb, you might need an object. Give some serious thought to stopping right there.

Sentences are building blocks, not bungee cords; they’re not meant to be stretched to the limit. I’m not saying you necessarily want a Hemingway-esque series of clipped short sentences, but most writers benefit from dividing their longest sentences into shorter, more muscular ones.

2. Paragraphs can only do one thing at a time.

A paragraph supports a single idea. Construct complex arguments by combining simple ideas that follow logically. Every time you address a new idea, add a line break. Short paragraphs are the most readable; few should be more than three or four sentences long. This is more important if you’re writing for the Web.

3. Look closely at -ing

Nouns ending in -ing are fine. (Strong writing, IT consulting, great fishing.) But constructions like “I am running,” “a forum for building consensus,” or “The new team will be managing” are inherently weak. Rewrite them to “I run,” “a forum to build consensus,” and “the team will manage.” You’re on the right track when the rewrite has fewer words (see below).

(If for some insane reason you want to get all geeky about this, you can read the Wikipedia article on gerunds and present participles. But you don’t have to know the underlying grammatical rules to make this work. Rewrite -ing when you can, and your writing will grow muscles you didn’t know it had.)

4. Omit unnecessary words.

I know we all heard this in high school, but we weren’t listening. (Mostly because it’s hard.) It’s doubly hard when you’re editing your own writing—we put all that work into getting words onto the page, and by god we need a damned good reason to get rid of them.

Here’s your damned good reason: extra words drain life from your work. The fewer words used to express an idea, the more punch it has. Therefore:

Summer months Regional level The entire country On a daily basis (usually best rewritten to “every day”) She knew that it was good. Very (I just caught one above: four-year-old little girl)

You can nearly always improve sentences by rewriting them in fewer words.

5. Reframe 90% of the passive voice.

French speakers consider an elegantly managed passive voice to be the height of refinement. But here in the good old U.S. (or Australia, Great Britain, etc.), we value action. We do things is inherently more interesting than Things are done by us. Passive voicemuddies your writing; when the actor is hidden, the action makes less sense.

Bonus: Use spell-check

There’s no excuse for teh in anything more formal than a Twitter tweet.

Also, “a lot” and “all right” are always spelled as two words. You can trust me, I’m an editor.

Easy reading is damned hard writing. ~ Nathaniel Hawthorne

Ridiculous Sentence Prompts

“Who wouldn’t be angry you ate all of my cereal and faked your death for three years!”

“I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else.“ 

“Quick catch that cat it stole my wallet!”

“Fuck I feel like I got hit by a car… Wait I did? And it was your car?”

“The skirt is short on purpose.”

“I can’t believe I’m sitting in space jail with you of all people.”

“So why did I have to punch that guy?”

“I may have accidentally sort of adopted five cats.”

“I hope you know that my name is actually ________.”

“Please stop petting the test subjects. ”

“That is the tenth demon summoning this week holy shit.”

“Please put me down it’s just a sprained ankle" 

“So what if I broke my arm I’m still doing it.”

“Why exactly do you need chloroform at 2AM?”

“I’m like 75% sure this won’t explode on us.”

“You need to stop leaving dead bodies in my kitchen.”

“I understand the whole sleep talking thing but what I don’t understand is the princess dragon dream and why I’m in it.”

“I’m sorry that I got way too into playing house and accidentally kissed you passionately.”