Meet-weird Aus

meet-weird aus

“we catch the same bus home and i always fall asleep, but you always wake me up at my stop” 

“you come into my 24hr diner at the oddest times bc of your weird job but you keep forgetting that we talk because youre always sleep deprived”

“my neighbour keeps ordering weird shit but they dont want to face the mailperson’s judgement so they keep using my address instead”

“i run the night slot on campus radio and some jackass keeps calling in to insult my music taste and request high school musical songs instead”

“escaped to the laundry room to avoid hearing my room-mates having extremely loud sex only to find you’re here doing the same thing”

“sorry i knocked you out in that bar fight last night, but i brought you to the hospital and stuck around ‘til you woke up to apologize”

“you were trash talking my favourite character in the cinemas and obviously i need to show you the light, even if i have to buy you a burger to get you to listen”

“our mutual friend dropped out of this trip at the last minute, so hi i guess we’re spending the next two weeks together”

“you forgot to remove your snarky sticky note comments in this textbook and since i got kicked out of the library for laughing too loudly, im going to reply to each and every one”

“i lost my asshole friends in this club and im kinda drunk and youre kinda gorgeous, please help me”

“since there’s only one can of energy drink left in the store, which we both need to survive the disgustingly boring lecture we just discovered we both have, how about we share it”

 ok but 

“you just moved in to the neighborhood and i’m trying to be a “good neighbor” so i’m helping you unpack and making small talk like would you like to take a coffee with me lat—wHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU CARRYING ROCKS IN THIS BOX” au

“i came here to have my hair cut but you’re ranting about how beautiful my hair is and now i’m regretting my decision what have you done” au 

“you’re the member of this band and you’re promoting your new album and you just came to me to hand me an example but i’m not really a fan of your music but god fucking damn it you’re so hot maybe i can buy one just to try” au

“i’m a writer and i’ve been trying to find inspiration but my ways to find it are very very weird and you’re convinced i’m trying to summon satan i swear i’m just trying to find inspiration” au

“i run this bakery and you come every single day to buy pies and cakes and i’m getting concerned over your health seriously dude eating this much it’s not healthy” au

“i accidentally quoted my favorite book out loud while answering something and it turns out you’re a fan too and now we’re in this huge dork conversation god help me i’m so nerd” au 

“your horrible car is in my parking lot like i know it doesn’t have a name but it’s my parking lot i’ve grown attached to it so why don’t you move your horrible car and get your ugly f—oh my god you’re hot HELLO THERE” au

“i cannot believe you defeated me on a pokemon battle like your team is so lame are you seriously still using politoed in your team like dude that’s so gen 5 so WHY DID YOU DEFEAT ME FIGHT ME AGAIN” au

“i came inside this store to buy this new album and there’s only onecopy left and YOU’RE TAKING IT HANDS OFF MY NEW ALBUM” au

“i’ve heard you talking to your friend about my favorite character and you’re talking about this Harry Potter AU but you sorted them in the wrong house i cannot stand this bullshit” au 

“you were sitting beside me when we were watching big hero 6 and you saw me cry like a baby don’t tell anyone about this it would ruin my reputation” au 

“i’m new in this town and i got lost in the supermarket and you’re the kind person who’s guiding me but please don’t call my mother i’m a grown-up” au 

“MY FRIENDS TOLD ME TO FLIRT WITH YOU BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WERE PRETTY BUT YOU FLIRTED BACK AND NOW I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO OH MY GOD MY HANDS ARE SWEATING” au 

“you’re the captain of our school’s (sport) team and i have a crush on you (but who doesn’t actually) and i’ve been assisting your games like every single one and all of sudden you started to talk to me oh my god what do i do what do i say— “hey do you like potatoes?” —oh my god kill me now” au 

me: *plans story in head*

me: *knows every single plot twist to happen*

me: *plans update schedule and chapter lengths*

me: *knows what the five sequels will be about*

me: *writes down first sentence*

me: shit I give up

oh god royal aus

“your country’s trying to take over/annex my country and you’re making it difficult to hate you because you’re so nice and attractive stop it” au

“we’ve been engaged to be married since we were three but this is the first time we’ve met and your portraits really don’t do you justice” au

“i’m a prince/ss and you’re a servant and we’re not supposed to hang out but we’re gonna fall in love anyways” au

“i’m a prince/ss and you’re my bodyguard and we’re so not supposed to bang but we kind of did anyways” au (bonus: limo sex is great sex)

princess diaries style “i grew up not knowing i was royal and suddenly my royal grandparent showed up out of nowhere and told me i was so now i guess i’m the heir to the throne and you’re my crush from my pre-royal days but i still have a crush on you” au

alternately, “i grew up not knowing i was royal and now i guess i’m heir to a throne and you’re the guy who’s supposed to be teaching me how to be royal bc i suck at it and oops we made out” au

"i’m a prince/ss from a small country nobody’s heard of and i’m in college pretending not to be royal and you’re another student who’s always calling me out on my bs” au

“my country’s going through some issues so i’m here in hiding and you’re a civilian who lives in the same apartment complex as me” au

my college experiences that would make great fic prompts:

“i thought you were my new roommate’s boyfriend so i casually invited you in but you’re actually the RA of the dorm and now you think i want to have sex with you” au

“i accidentally flooded the laundry room and you really needed to do laundry” au

“i took a bunch of free condoms from health services just because i could and they all fell out of my bag at once and now you’re staring at me weirdly” au

“we have to go camping together and share a sleeping bag even though we’re complete strangers” au

“the cereal dispenser in the dining hall broke while i was getting froot loops and now they’re all over the floor and you blame me ” au

“we argued so much during a class discussion that we both got kicked out of class and we’re still arguing outside of class” au

Writer’s Block

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