My Surgeon Came Out And Told My Mom And Brother On Tuesday That Id Be Down And Out For About Two Weeks.

My surgeon came out and told my mom and brother on Tuesday that I’d be down and out for about two weeks. 

My brother: TWO WEEKS? Holy shit.

Surgeon: Well, consider this.  She and I just had a knife fight.  And I won.  Because she was asleep during it.  

My brother: Oh.  Yeah, okay, that’s fair.

Get yourself a girl who will support you through your hotpot aftermath

Lol if Ingo is, like, effortlessly sexy then Emmet is the guy who WANTS to be perceived as sexy so badly but runs up against his own awkwardness to the point that he has to mentally hype himself up before delivering a sexy one liner. He relies on predicting how people will react and falls apart the second someone throws a curveball.

this is even funnier with my hc that emmet scripts so imagine he practices pick up lines in the mirror

Emmet: I am Emmet! I love double battles but I would also love to take you on a date! *tips hat*

Emmet: No, no, no, that is too corny! Flirting is very hard, hm.

Emmet: I-I always check safety but I can’t help checking out your face- AHH! VERRRY EMBARRASSING!!!

Ingo: Ah, Emmet! Are you done using the b-

Emmet: -train? Because I want to ride that caboose-

Ingo and Emmet both: ...

Paper Emmet is holding:

Pick up lines:

- next stop: my bedroom

- your body is a safety hazard

Ingo: PFT-a-ah, apologies you seem rather busy! I will wait until you are ready! (I need to text Elesa right now-)

Emmet: INGO! I am NOT busy! I am Emmet! And I am not doing anything!!!

Okay fuck it if this post reaches 666k notes by the end of 2023 I'll practise basic self care

Why 666k? Because it's funny and impossible so good fucking luck

When all of my blorbos are my own ocs so I can’t consume content about them unless I make it