My Ability To Be Scared Despite Literally Nothing Happening Knows No Bounds

my ability to be scared despite literally nothing happening knows no bounds

I was in line at Aldi and this girl with two toddlers in front of me had her card declined and she looked so fucking sad and said “let me call my husband real quick” and it was only 18 dollars, so I just paid for it, and she was very sweet and then as she walked off, the lady behind me said `”You know that was probably a scam, right?” and like, even if it was, like what a sad fucking scam, right? 18 dollars at the Aldi. If you’re “scamming” me for some Tyson chicken and apple juice and cauliflower, then just take my fucking money. 

“A scam” people are fucking wild.  

I actually love "Twice Upon A Time" because the whole situation is so funny. The Doctor is like nah. Lost my gf (can't remember). Lost my wife. Lost my spunky lesbian best friend. Over this shit!! I'm gonna kms this time FOR REAL!! And he meets his younger self and he's like wtf. 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️ You can't kys because how the fuck am I gonna end it all if I don't even exist???? And the consciousness of his dead best friend is like noooooo Doctor you can't kys your swag too kind. Your bitch too good. The universe NEEDS you, autism creature!!!! 🥺🥺 And he's like Fuck. I guess I'll (not) die. New bottom surgery unlocked!!: LIGHTING MYSELF ON FIRE AND EXPLODING. (Successful!! 😘😘)

doctor/river/jack is the funniest poly ship cos they are all married to each other , they are all the third wheel, and if they ever met up at the same time it would likely result in jack and river having a,quite frankly,ungodly amount of sex prob both thinking about the doctor whilst the doctor is in the garden w/ headphones on trying to get caterpillars to unionise or smth

this is how i imagine showing doctor who to any of my friends:

*trash can eats a person and burps*

friend: i thought that this show is beautiful and changed you fundamentally as a person?

me: bro i swear it gets better

*skin pancake plays toxic*

would will wear this?

you know he would.