Got A New Book

Got a new book🙂

simon who's been in the military so long that sometimes he can't function without someone giving him instruction.

simon who will come to you at all hours of the day, just staring at you in hopes you give him a task to do.

"Simon can you grab-" he's already getting up

"Simon can you cook that chicken in the f-" he's already putting on an apron

"Simon can-" yes. he will. he can and he must. its compulsory at this point.

doesn't need or ask for praise when he completes the task at hand, but will be over the MOON if you do. even a simple "thanks, Si," gets him wagging his tail.

Soap refuses to wear condoms, insists he's tracking your cycle and everything will be fine. Except when you text him: "Good news I got my period" and his immediate response is: "How's that good news?" you realize you misunderstood what he was tracking.

i love the trope of "everyone in this friend group has absolutely zero common sense EXCEPT for the sassbag pet/animal sidekick who is completely mute"

"You," he said, "are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in so much pain."

Emilie Autumn, The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls