Glamrockforg - Glamrock Gorl - Tumblr Blog
Sending my best thoughts to those living in areas where the hurricane will hit 🙏
the funniest thing about Antony Dimmond to me is that what made him so wrong in Hannibal's eyes was his forwardness. Hannibal had to work incredibly hard for Will's proper attention and now this random man who vaguely looks like him is just giving his attention out? for free? get folded idiot
mine all mine
You know, a Minecraft Movie could have been a literal masterpiece if you had the right mindset to do it, and I'm not joking. I feel like nowadays studios are afraid of being genuine like a teen is afraid of being genuine. If a movie suddenly gets too excited about something, it needs to put it down so it doesn't sound "lame" or "cringe". You cannot be honest, and you cannot show love or absurdity without pointing out that it's stupid because you think OTHERS will believe it's stupid. So please bear with me:
Currently we have only a teaser trailer, it looks bad, it puts itself down, it's afraid of being genuine, it somehow managed to whitewash Steve (again), and I doubt that it will use things like the End Poem or how it feels to play Minecraft for its themes and story. I hope that I'm wrong, but I'm very cynical. So, let's think about it together.
Minecraft Movie. I saw a post suggesting stop-motion animation for it, and, honestly, it feels perfect, just like stylized 3D animation. Live action actors do not work with how Minecraft looks, and that's okay. Let's do an animated movie.
The plot. There's so, so many possibilities, but the beauty of making a Minecraft animated movie is that you won't ever be able to tackle all the possibilities it brings to the table. The community has made so many stories for the game, so we might as well just think of an "official" movie as a homage to the game and its community. We are adapting the way Minecraft feels.
End Poem, one of the most beautiful things I have ever read. Let's take that and put it in the movie, simple as that. You can only find it by defeating the Ender Dragon, so this will be how our movie ends. If we want it to end like this, then the objective of our protagonists must be to defeat the dragon.
Let's have Steve as our protagonist - not a whitewashed version, just Steve with his actual skin color left just the way it is. He'll represent us as players for our hypothetical movie. Have him wake up in an unknown world, not knowing why he's there. Just like how the game was all the way back in 2009, he's alone in a very lonely and foggy world. We follow him trying to look for other people, and then he has to survive his first night. This first part is both whimsical and a bit scary, because that's how many players felt when they first started it when they were kids, aallllll the way back.
Steve survives his first night. He's horrified, and then he realizes that he'll have to do it again. He doesn't know the "rules" of this world, but he's figuring them out, and the idea of "rules" and "what to do" will be important. Because, at its core, Minecraft doesn't have that many rules. It has no actual objective. You can do whatever you want, and this will be very (very) important.
Steve ends up building a small base with wood. Survives a bit more, and then, someway, somehow, he finds Alex. While he's more careful around things and very thoughtful on how and what to build, Alex is more of an adventurer, following the little tidbits of personality we see from them during Minecraft trailers. They're happy to know that they aren't alone, and we follow them build a very strong friendship and teach each other new things, just like how it is playing Minecraft in real life. They find a village, and find out that maybe they can leave this world, or at least find some answers, if they defeat the Ender Dragon.
From there, we have a good objective. The two continue progressing, and their base ends up becoming a castle, because who didn't want to build a castle when they were kids? And the world seems progressively more alive thanks to their interference on it, thanks to them helping the villagers, thanks to them being the players that they are. If you want more conflict, just add the pillagers as well.
Eventually, Steve and Alex have an argument about their points of view. They both want to know what's going on, but their way of doing things are different, and they care a LOT about each other, they're best friends, but who is doing things the "right" way? I don't like the idea of them separating because that happens in way too many movies. I want to see these two stick together, but their insistence on trying to do it "correctly" ends up putting them in a lot of trouble because they can't cooperate anymore. Y'know. How people fight and argue about a "correct" way of playing the game. How we as players miss old Minecraft - or do we? Do we miss the simplicity of older times, or do we miss our childhood creativity and willigness to do whatever comes to mind?
Anyways. A good alternative to this conflict would be either Alex or Steve - I'm leaning more towards Steve - being hesitant at completing the End Portal. He doesn't want to end his "dream", he doesn't want answers or to escape this world (aka leave good memories behind), he wants to stay there, but Alex knows that they can't be like this forever, even if she wants to stay. Regardless, they eventually come to a mutual understanding, and, TOGETHER, they go and fight the Ender Dragon. They win, and then the End Poem happens.
The fight against the dragon wasn't the ending; the realization that there are, indeed, no rules to put them down, or that they HAVE to leave everything behind, is the ending. They hear the poem while sitting next to each other. The world changed because of them, and sometimes it was for the worse, and sometimes it was for the better, but it did become much kinder, and they weren't alone. They don't HAVE to be. Just like how it actually happened in the actual game, through the 15 YEARS since it started to exist, and oh my God it's been 15 years already?! Oh my God-
Anyways. Movie ends with Alex and Steve having a lighthearted argument over what to build next. Steve wants another castle, Alex says that she has amazing ideas for something she's calling a "mob farm", and "trust me, it'll make our lives SO MUCH easier". And they're just being silly, because there are no rules.
Anyways thanks for reading this post, feel free to add your own things to it! Just had to get it out of my chest.
My controversial Minecraft Movie opinion is that isekai could have worked for it, if they had just played it like a vanilla minecraft world. It’s even the game-movie most suited for an isekai storyline tbh.
A couple of kids wake up in a strange new place and have to figure out how to survive. And then, eventually, how to get back home. And this could take you all the way from punching a tree to killing the ender dragon, ending with The End Poem, which can be read aloud as it scrolls across the screen by all the weird helpful people the kids met along the way (steve, alex, mcyt cameos)
Also Steve isn’t white, the piglins aren’t evil or in the overworld, and the whole thing is animated. The kids are blocks in the block game and if you absolutely must have them be real people, have it be a split second of them waking up after the end poem
hey so since we're talking about how awful the minecraft movie looks we're all going to agree not to go see it in theaters right? not even to hatewatch it? we all are in agreement that its a soulless cash grab movie, so we all know that the only way to stop them from making more like it is to give them no cash to grab, right?
yes this includes watching it for the bit. yes this includes bringing your friends to go make fun of it. yes this includes just watching it out of curiosity.
do Not go see this shit in theaters. do Not give them your money. they dont care whether you enjoyed it or not, they only care about what number the box office gives them. so make sure the box office cant give them shit.
youre not gonna be able to bully the minecraft movie directors into reanimating anything because unlike with the sonic movie clearly the people who made this movie lack any personal nostalgia for it and dont get it beyond "game my kids play" and therefore just decided to take a popular ip and throw popular actors at it and spit out a corporate slop script and designs because they dont care about the viewers beyond their ability to consume and they dont care about the consumers' time unless it gives them money. to them we are pigs and this is the scraps mixed in a pail with mud and worms for us to gobble up and keep growing their coffers. its not made because they care and its not made to be cared about and i promise in like 2 years it'll disappear off streaming services because they dont care about it enough to pay to keep it around and obviously nobody's gonna rewatch it. honestly just dont watch it. not even out of spite. there's better things out there that respect your time and your hard-earned money
i think one of my favourite parts of gravity falls is just. soos in general. a different show would probably have a character like that- y’know, a fat guy who’s in that early-20s age where nobody wants to acknowledge that nobody knows what they’re doing but they’re not a kid anymore so they’re no longer part of the “marketable demographic” for kids, i think a lot of other shows would make him the punching bag or the butt of jokes or portray him as weird or creepy or a failiure. but no, soos is genuinely a big part of the heart of the show. he’s allowed to be a bit of a dork, and have a non-standard path in life- it’s treated as part of the quirks that make him lovable! the twins think he’s super cool, he’s smart, funny, genuine, kind- and when he gets his own episode in soos and the real girl, his issues with talking to people are just treated as so much more HUMAN than i’m used to for characters in his demographic. it’s really sweet. and i’m glad they do that. i really like soos.