Im Only Horny When Its Funny

I’m only horny when it’s funny

Hardest part about being ace is when I make jokes about characters I'm in love with (like, "please!! Give me one chance!! I'll do anything!! Oh god, please, I'm on my knees!!" or miming that I'm snacking my credit card on the desk), and the people around me will start to question my sexuality. Guys can I not joke around? I really just love this character normally, but that's not funny enough for me :(

Art by Liminal Void GF

They splonched their giblets together with the virility of a thousand prancing tigers. “Oh!” the countess ejaculated sex-havingly. “Oh” the minstrel readily concurred, his penis doing that thing penises do to vaginas.

Writing smut as an asexual person is so funny to me, because like I have no idea what I’m going on about or if I’m just spitting gibberish.

I shall focus on being a weird fuck with all of my being

I posted this on an aroace subreddit and what I loved is that everyone seemed to have their own interpretation of what it meant and how it applied to them.

The Outbursts of Everett True was a comic strip that ran in papers from 1905 to 1927, wherein the aforementioned Everett True regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude. Men have not only been taking up too much room on public transport for about as long as public transport has existed, but the people around them have been irritated about it for at least a hundred years. The next time someone tries to claim that manspreading is a false phenomenon, please direct them to this strip so that Everett True can correct their misconceptions with an umbrella upside the head.